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(June) WHEN I MOVED
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TO MANHATTAN FROM INDIANA
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A FEW MONTHS AGO,
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I THOUGHT OF IT
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AS THE NEXT STEP
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IN MY LIFE PLAN.
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I HAD NO IDEA THAT
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I WAS GONNA MOVE IN
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WITH A GIRL THAT I MET
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ON craigslist
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WHO WAS BASICALLY, WELL,
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CRAZY, IN A GREAT WAY,
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AND SOMETIMES
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A NOT-SO-GREAT WAY.
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IT'S BEEN HARD AND FUN
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AND HARD,
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BUT WHAT'S MADE IT EASIER
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HAS BEEN
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THE NEW FRIENDS I'VE MADE
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ALONG THE WAY,
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WHICH IS WHY IT'S SO DIFFICULT
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TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO ONE OF THEM
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RIGHT NOW.
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I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE
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AT JAMES VAN DER BEEK'S FUNERAL.
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JAMES VAN DER BEEK'S VIKING
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FUNERAL IN CENTRAL PARK, JUNE.
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DON'T UNDERDESCRIBE
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THE AWESOMENESS.
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JUST HOW ILLEGAL IS THIS?
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ABOUT AS ILLEGAL AS THAT
32
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PANDA FAT EYE CREAM YOU USE.
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YOU USE PANDA ON YOUR FACE?
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LUTHER IS 76 YEARS OLD.
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SHUT... UP... BITCH.
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(clicks tongue)
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(Katie Hampton) ♪ I'M NOT
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PERFECT, I'M NO SNITCH ♪
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♪ BUT I CAN TELL YOU ♪
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(whispers) ♪ SHE'S A... ♪
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(buzzer)
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♪ BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-BA, BA-DA-BA ♪
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♪ BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-BA, BA-DA-BA ♪
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HEY, CHLOE.
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HEY, JUNE.
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(door closes)
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OH, HEY, JUNE, COME HERE.
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COME SIT BY ME.
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I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
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COME ON.
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GOOD. SIT.
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OKAY, COME CLOSE.
53
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(whispers) YOUR SWEATER
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LOOKS LIKE
55
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A PUMPKIN MATED WITH A TURD.
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(inhales sharply)
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I THOUGHT YOU WERE
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GONNA GIVE ME A HUG.
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NOPE.
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NO.
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(singsongy) IT CAME!
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OOH! READ IT! READ IT!
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"DEAR, JAMES,
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IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR--
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"THE ANNIVERSARY OF THE SERIES
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FINALE OF 'DAWSON'S CREEK.'
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"CAN YOU BELIEVE
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IT'S BEEN ALMOST TEN YEARS
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"SINCE IT WENT OFF THE AIR???
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"WE THOUGHT WE'D WRITE YOU AGAIN
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TO SEE IF YOU'D BE INTERESTED
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"IN DOING A REUNION SHOW.
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"AS ALWAYS, WE'RE IN IF YOU ARE.
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"SINCERELY, MICHELLE, KATIE,
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AND JOSH."
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HOLY WOW!
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OH, LET ME TOUCH--
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TOO BAD
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IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.
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(laughs)
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WAIT, JAMES.
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WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
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THEY SEND ME
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ONE OF THOSE EVERY YEAR.
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LISTEN, THEY CAN GET NOMINATED
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FOR ALL THE OSCARS THEY WANT,
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YOU DON'T PUT THE BEATLES BACK
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TOGETHER WITHOUT JOHN LENNON.
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AND I'M LENNON AND McCARTNEY,
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BITCH.
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YEAH, YOU ARE!
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YOU ARE A KING, JAMES.
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(gasps) KING JAMES.
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LIKE THE BIBLE.
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LET'S GO OUT AND CELEBRATE
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HOW AWESOME YOU ARE.
97
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ABSOLUTELY. ANYTHING YOU WANNA
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DO, YOU JUST NAME IT.
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(squeals)
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(electronic music playing)
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(speaks indistinctly)
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(giggles) BYE. CHARGE LESS
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FOR YOUR MAGAZINE.
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HMM.
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BIG-ASS HAT.
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SEND IN THE TALL
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AND SKINNIES.
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JUNE, ARE YOU FEELING OKAY?
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YOU'RE ANGRILY DECRUMBING
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THE MUFFIN CASE.
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JAMES WON'T DO
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A "DAWSON'S CREEK" REUNION.
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I COULD ASK THAT QUESTION
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A THOUSAND TIMES
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AND STILL NOT BELIEVE
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THAT'S YOUR ANSWER.
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THE REST OF THE CAST IS IN,
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BUT JAMES
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WON'T EVEN CONSIDER IT.
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HE LIKES SAYING NO TO THEM
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BECAUSE IT MAKES HIM
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FEEL LIKE A BIG SHOT.
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YOU SEEM REALLY UPSET
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ABOUT THIS.
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YOU KNOW, GROWING UP IN INDIANA,
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THAT SHOW WAS A RELIGION.
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MY FRIENDS AND I--
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WE WERE OBSESSED WITH IT.
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OKAY, I GET IT.
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LIKE "MOESHA" WAS FOR ME.
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I'M JUST KIDDING. I JUST SAID
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THAT BECAUSE I'M BLACK.
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(laughs) I NEVER WATCHED
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"MOESHA."
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CELESTE, TORI, MARGARET, AND I
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MEMORIZED EVERY EPISODE.
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DO YOU KNOW HOW AWESOME
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IT WOULD BE IF I CALLED THEM UP
139
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AND TOLD THEM THAT JAMES WAS
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DOING A REUNION SHOW?
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IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE
142
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I HAD SOME GOOD NEWS.
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I LOST THE JOB THAT
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I MOVED TO NEW YORK FOR,
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I BROKE UP WITH MY FIANCE,
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AND I'M PRETTY SURE THAT
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MY BOOBS HAVE DECREASED A CUP
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SIZE BECAUSE OF ALL THE SADNESS.
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WHY WON'T JAMES DO THIS
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FOR ME?
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JUNE, IF IT'S
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THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU,
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TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT.
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WHEN YOU GET PASSIONATE ABOUT
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SOMETHING, YOU'RE HARD TO STOP.
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REMEMBER YOUR WHOLE THING
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AGAINST YELLOW RAISINS?
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ALBINO ABOMINATIONS OF NATURE!
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HEY. HEY.
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YOU CONVINCED ME, OKAY?
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I'M CONVINCED.
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JUNE, YOU GOT CRAZY EYES.
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(Chloe sighs)
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I LOVE IT
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WHEN THE MODELS FALL.
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THEY'RE LIKE GIRAFFES
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COLLAPSING IN THE JUNGLE.
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OOH! GOOD WORK, MARBLES.
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(can rattles, projector clicks)
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846,251
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IS THE NUMBER OF TEENAGE GIRLS
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WHO WATCHED THE FINALE
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OF "DAWSON'S CREEK."
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(click)
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I WAS ONE OF THEM.
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(laughs)
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(click)
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AND SO WAS CELESTE...
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(click)
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MARGARET...
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(click)
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AND TORI.
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DID THESE GIRLS DIE
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IN A DRUNK-DRIVING ACCIDENT
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OR SOMETHING?
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IS THIS A MEMORIAL/INTERVENTION/
187
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(snores)?
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YOUR SHOW REFLECTED WHAT WAS
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GOING ON IN OUR LIVES.
190
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WHEN AARON DeMAYO BROKE UP
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WITH ME IN SEVENTH GRADE,
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I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE,
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AND THEN I TURNED ON THE TV,
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AND GRAMS GOT THE DIAGNOSIS.
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CANCER.
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SHE WAS REALLY GOING TO DIE.
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THE WAY YOU DEALT WITH THAT,
198
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YOUR STRENGTH--
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IT GAVE ME STRENGTH,
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AND WE GOT THROUGH IT,
201
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TOGETHER.
202
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RACK ATTACK! RACK ATTACK!
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RACK ATTACK!
204
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RACK ATTACK!
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CHLOE, PLEASE,
206
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JUNE IS IN THE MIDDLE
207
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OF A MAKESHIFT LIVING ROOM
208
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PRESENTATION.
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THOSE GIRLS WHO WATCHED YOU
210
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ON TV...
211
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(click)
212
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THEY'RE NOW HAVING
213
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DAUGHTERS OF THEIR OWN.
214
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ONE WOMAN...
215
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,837
(click)
216
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,837
BECOMES TWO.
217
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,798
INDIAN.
218
00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,007
WOMAN.
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INDIAN. WOMAN.
220
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,344
IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIFE,
221
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JAMES.
222
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:04,721
(click)
223
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DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BREAK
224
00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:08,391
THAT CIRCLE?
225
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,393
OH, MY GOD. THIS IS SO LAME.
226
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,813
IT IS LAME...
227
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OF ME FOR PUTTING THIS OFF
228
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,606
FOR SO LONG.
229
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:15,774
WHAT?
230
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,359
I CAN'T BELIEVE
231
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,359
HOW SELFISH I'VE BEEN.
232
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CRUMPLING UP THOSE LETTERS
233
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EVERY YEAR JUST 'CAUSE I CAN.
234
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THIS IS BIGGER THAN ME.
235
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I-I NEED TO DO A REUNION
236
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FOR THE FANS.
237
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I'M KING JAMES,
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THE LION KING.
239
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(laughs)
240
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(door closes)
241
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JUNE, WHAT THE HELL?
242
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:32,624
WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
243
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,460
WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH WHETHER
244
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OR NOT JAMES HAS A REUNION?
245
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BECAUSE THE LETTERS HE GETS
246
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FROM THE CAST ARE FAKE.
247
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I'M THE ONE
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WHO'S BEEN WRITING THEM
249
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AND SENDING THEM
250
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TO HIM EVERY YEAR.
251
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VINDALOO.
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(door closes)
253
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YOU'VE BEEN WRITING
254
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FAKE LETTERS EVERY YEAR?
255
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:54,437
YES. SEE? I EVEN USED THE SAME
256
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PEN TO SIGN ALL THREE NAMES.
257
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,857
I SPELLED "HOLMES" WRONG.
258
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I SHOULD REALLY TRY HARDER.
259
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WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?
260
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,400
WHEN JAMES GETS TO TURN DOWN
261
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KATIE, MICHELLE, AND JOSH
262
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EVERY YEAR,
263
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IT MAKES HIM FEEL
264
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REALLY POWERFUL,
265
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AND ON THAT DAY, I CAN ASK HIM
266
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FOR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD,
267
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AND HE WON'T REFUSE ME,
268
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JUST LIKE DON CORLEONE
269
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ON THE DAY OF HIS DAUGHTER'S
270
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,245
WEDDING IN "THE GODFATHER."
271
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:13,372
("Tarantella" playing)
272
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:19,129
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE TRANQ-ING
273
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:19,129
A HOT AUSTRIAN DUDE
274
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:21,422
AND HEARING THE BODY FALL.
275
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,424
TRANQ SEX--IT'S CONSENSUAL.
276
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,344
YOU ARE SO MANIPULATIVE
277
00:06:25,384 --> 00:06:26,720
AND SELFISH.
278
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,013
OKAY, THAT'S TRUE. I AM.
279
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,431
BUT I'M ALSO DOING THIS
280
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,431
FOR JAMES.
281
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:33,810
HE SHOULDN'T RELIVE THE PAST BY
282
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:33,810
DOING SOME STUPID REUNION SHOW.
283
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,645
THERE'S NO POINT
284
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,645
IN LOOKING BACK.
285
00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,480
YOU HAVE TO MOVE FORWARD,
286
00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,480
LIKE A SHARK
287
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,149
OR A TRANQ DART.
288
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:42,903
JUST BECAUSE NO ONE IN THE CAST
289
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:42,903
HAS INITIATED A REUNION
290
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,697
DOESN'T MEAN
291
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,697
THAT IT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA.
292
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:49,243
I AM GOING TO MAKE SURE
293
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:49,243
THAT IT HAPPENS.
294
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:53,496
WELL, I AM GOING TO MAKE SURE
295
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:53,496
THAT IT DOESN'T.
296
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:10,471
IF WE CALL MICHELLE FIRST, THEN
297
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:10,471
EVERYONE ELSE WILL GET ON BOARD.
298
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,391
BUT WE CAN'T CALL JOSH LAST
299
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,475
'CAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE
300
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,475
HE'S IN LOVE WITH ME.
301
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:17,104
I THINK YOU SHOULD CALL KATIE
302
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:17,104
FIRST. I LOVE HER.
303
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,314
I'VE GONE AS HER
304
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,314
FOR THE PAST EIGHT HALLOWEENS.
305
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,482
NO.
306
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:22,483
JUNE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
307
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:23,985
(clicks tongue) OKAY.
308
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,695
MAKING SURE CHLOE DOESN'T DO
309
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,695
ANYTHING SNEAKY
310
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,655
TO TRY TO STOP YOU FROM
311
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,655
MAKING THOSE PHONE CALLS.
312
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,992
SHE'S CLEVER AND SUBTLE,
313
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,119
LIKE A CAT.
314
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,121
SHE'LL LURK IN THE SHADOWS
315
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:36,497
AND BLEND IN
316
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:36,497
WITH THE BACKGROUND,
317
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:39,418
AND THEN ONCE SHE'S LURED YOU IN
318
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:39,418
TO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY,
319
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,543
SHE'LL QUIETLY JUST--
320
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:43,504
♪♪♪
321
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,715
(slo-mo voice) NO!
322
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,012
(pants)
323
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,513
MY BEEF ISN'T WITH YOU,
324
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,513
LUTHER.
325
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:53,514
THANK YOU.
326
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,518
(Luther) OH!
327
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,518
(thud)
328
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,229
THAT WASN'T FOR ANYTHING.
329
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,229
THAT WAS JUST FOR FUN.
330
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:02,149
(Luther) YOU SHOT ME
331
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:02,149
IN THE BOOTY.
332
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:03,524
CHLOE, WHAT THE HELL?!
333
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:05,526
RELAX.
334
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:05,526
IT'S JUST TRANQ DARTS.
335
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,528
I LOADED THEM WITH 12 TURKEYS'
336
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,528
WORTH OF TRYPTOPHAN.
337
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:08,863
SHE'LL WAKE UP IN A FEW HOURS
338
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,241
AND FEEL LIKE SHE HAD
339
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,241
NINE THANKSGIVING DINNERS.
340
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:16,163
(voice echoes)
341
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:16,163
WHAT ARE THOSE?
342
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,831
MAKE IT STOP.
343
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,831
MAKE IT STOP.
344
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,831
(Steve Carlisle) ♪ BABY... ♪
345
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,249
SHH. SHH. SHH. IT'S OKAY.
346
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,541
MAKE IT STOP.
347
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,541
IT'S OKAY. IT'S OVER.
348
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,544
♪ WONDERED
349
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,544
WHATEVER BECAME OF ME ♪
350
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,546
(slurring)
351
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,546
IS THAT THE THEME
352
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,007
FROM "WKRP IN CINCINNATI"?
353
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,009
JAMES AND I JUST SPENT
354
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,009
THE LAST SIX HOURS
355
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,969
WATCHING
356
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,969
BAD REUNION SHOWS--
357
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:34,555
"GROWING PAINS, "DYNASTY,"
358
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:34,555
"THE FACTS OF LIFE GO TO PARIS."
359
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:35,974
THEY WERE ALL WEARING BERETS.
360
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,268
EVEN TOOTIE?
361
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,268
ESPECIALLY TOOTIE.
362
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,437
I CAN'T DO IT, JUNE.
363
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,437
I CAN'T DO THE REUNION.
364
00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:41,562
WHAT? NO.
365
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,982
JAMES, CHLOE HAS BEEN--
366
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,026
FAKING THE LETTERS TO ME EVERY
367
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,026
YEAR? YEAH, I KNOW. SHE TOLD ME.
368
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,568
SHE SAVED ME FROM MAKING
369
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,196
THE BIGGEST MISTAKE
370
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,196
OF MY CAREER.
371
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,990
SHE CARES ENOUGH TO NOT
372
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,990
LET ME TARNISH MY LEGACY
373
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,575
BY DOING SOME TERRIBLE REUNION
374
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,575
SHOW. THAT'S IT. I'M OUT.
375
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,454
IT'S OVER.
376
00:08:57,496 --> 00:09:00,415
(slurring) I'D LIKE TO TALK
377
00:08:57,496 --> 00:09:00,415
TO THE LIAR IN THIS ROOM.
378
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:03,584
CAN THE LIAR IN THIS ROOM
379
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:03,584
PLEASE COME TO THE DOOR?
380
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:07,588
LUTHER WOULD LIKE
381
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:07,588
TO TALK TO HER.
382
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:11,051
(Gerry Rafferty's "Baker Street"
383
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:11,051
playing)
384
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,388
(James, thinking)
385
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,388
CHLOE'S RIGHT.
386
00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:15,847
IT'S BETTER TO LEAVE THE PAST
387
00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:15,847
IN THE PAST.
388
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,682
I'M GLAD WE'RE NOT DOING
389
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,682
A REUNION SHOW.
390
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,309
(June, thinking)
391
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,309
CELESTE, TORI, AND MARGARET
392
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:22,229
WOULD'VE FREAKED OUT
393
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:22,229
IF A REUNION HAPPENED,
394
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,523
BUT I GUESS IT JUST
395
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,523
WASN'T MEANT TO BE.
396
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:25,690
(James, thinking) WELL,
397
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:25,690
IF WE WERE GOING TO DO
398
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,025
A REUNION SHOW,
399
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,609
I DID HAVE A COUPLE IDEAS.
400
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,611
(June, thinking) IT'S PROBABLY
401
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,611
BETTER THIS WAY.
402
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:34,241
I WAS BOUND TO BE
403
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:34,241
DISAPPOINTED--UNLESS I WASN'T.
404
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,617
UNLESS MY MIND WAS
405
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,617
ABOUT TO BE BLOWN.
406
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,078
(James, thinking) WE COULD'VE
407
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,078
USED THE PLATFORM
408
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:40,288
TO ADDRESS SOME REAL ISSUES,
409
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:40,288
LIKE GLOBAL WARMING.
410
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:41,831
(June, thinking) WHAT DOES
411
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:41,831
CHLOE KNOW ANYWAY?
412
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,042
SHE DOESN'T EVEN WATCH TV.
413
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,503
SHE JUST PUNCHES IT
414
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,503
WHEN SHE'S DRUNK.
415
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:47,795
(James, thinking) ALSO EVERYONE
416
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:47,795
LOOKED BAD
417
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:50,257
IN THOSE OTHER REUNION SHOWS.
418
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:51,425
LOOK AT ME.
419
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:52,717
I LOOK GREAT.
420
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:52,717
MY HAIR IS BETTER,
421
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,262
MY BODY'S BETTER,
422
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,262
MY ACCENT WORK IS BETTER.
423
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,347
EVERYTHING'S BETTER.
424
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,347
EVERYTHING'S TIGHTER.
425
00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,182
JAMES?
426
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,642
WERE YOU JUST WALKING--
427
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,019
AND THINKING? YEAH.
428
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,896
I THINK WE SHOULD DO
429
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,896
A "DAWSON" REUNION.
430
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,940
JUST BECAUSE IT HASN'T
431
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,940
BEEN DONE WELL BEFORE
432
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,276
DOESN'T MEAN
433
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,276
IT CAN'T BE DONE WELL NOW.
434
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:11,361
I-IT TOOK NOT WANTING TO DO IT,
435
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:11,361
THEN WANTING TO DO IT,
436
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:14,030
THEN NOT WANTING TO DO IT
437
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:14,030
TO REALLY WANT IT.
438
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,366
I'M CALLING THE CAST.
439
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,366
(chuckles)
440
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,868
("Baker Street" continues
441
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,868
playing)
442
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:24,665
ONE WOMAN BECOMES TWO.
443
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:27,627
AND SOON THEY'LL BOTH WANT
444
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:27,627
TO MAKE LOVE TO ME.
445
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:30,338
(telephone rings)
446
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,924
WHAT'S UP, CELESTE? (laughs)
447
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,675
HEY, IT'S JUNE.
448
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,675
I KNOW IT'S BEEN A WHILE,
449
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,177
AND I GOT OFF FACEBOOK
450
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:38,597
BECAUSE PEOPLE KEPT TAGGING ME
451
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:38,597
IN UP-ANGLE PHOTOS,
452
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,681
BUT, UM, I WANTED TO CALL YOU
453
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,681
AND TELL YOU
454
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,100
THAT I HAVE SOME AMAZING NEWS.
455
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,852
THAT "DAWSON'S CREEK" REUNION
456
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,852
THAT WE ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT?
457
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,354
IT'S GONNA HAPPEN.
458
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,189
WHAT?
459
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,189
THAT SHOW WE USED TO WATCH?
460
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:52,611
CELESTE, YOU KNOW THAT
461
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:52,611
THAT IS SO JEN OF YOU.
462
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,196
(laughs) SORRY, JUNE,
463
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,196
I'M JUST REALLY BUSY.
464
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,864
I'M THE UNDERSECRETARY
465
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,864
OF COMMERCE.
466
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,326
I HAVE
467
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,326
THREE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.
468
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:02,078
I MOVED TO OMAHA, WHERE I'M
469
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:02,078
TEACHING THEORETICAL PHYSICS.
470
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,413
I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF WORKING
471
00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:05,499
ON A BILL AMENDING THE TAX CODE
472
00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:05,499
FOR SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS.
473
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:06,707
...TAKING MOLLY TO TENNIS CAMP,
474
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,502
TEACHING THE TWINS
475
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,502
TO RIDE A BIKE,...
476
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:09,710
...WRITING MY DISSERTATION
477
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:09,710
ON PULSARS...
478
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,879
ARE YOU STILL LIVING
479
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,879
IN THAT FABULOUS APARTMENT?
480
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,381
ARE YOU WORKING
481
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,381
ON WALL STREET?
482
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,592
DID YOU AND STEVEN
483
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,592
SET A DATE YET?
484
00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:16,635
STEVEN AND I BROKE UP,
485
00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:18,553
I LOST MY JOB AND MY APARTMENT,
486
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,388
AND NOW I WORK AT A COFFEE SHOP,
487
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,432
AND I LIVE WITH A GIRL
488
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,432
WHO I MET ON craigslist
489
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:25,726
WHO SELLS KNOCKOFF HANDBAGS
490
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:25,726
FROM HER BEDROOM WINDOW.
491
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,228
I THINK THAT MY BOOBS ARE
492
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,228
ACTUALLY SHRINKING
493
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,564
FROM THE SADNESS. (laughs)
494
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,690
(beep)
495
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,736
THEY'RE IN.
496
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,736
(door closes)
497
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:37,030
I JUST TO KATIE, JOSH,
498
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:37,030
AND MICHELLE,
499
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,532
AND THEY ALL SAID
500
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,532
THEY WOULD LOVE
501
00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:40,659
TO DO A "DAWSON'S CREEK"
502
00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:40,659
REUNION.
503
00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:43,744
WHAT? JAMES, I THOUGHT WE AGREED
504
00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:43,744
THAT'S A BAD IDEA.
505
00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:43,744
(cell phone rings)
506
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,747
IT'S MY AGENT. DONNIE JARVIS.
507
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,747
WHAT'S UP, HOOKER?
508
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,625
WHAT'S UP, WANG BREATH?
509
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:51,752
(laughs) DAMN IT, JAMES, YOU ARE
510
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:51,752
A STAR. DO YOU KNOW THAT?
511
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,588
DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE A STAR?
512
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,756
SO, UH, DID KATIE, JOSH,
513
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,756
AND MICHELLE'S DEALS CLOSE?
514
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:56,757
YEAH, I JUST SPOKE
515
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:56,757
WITH THEIR AGENTS,
516
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,635
AND THEY'RE SO EXCITED
517
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,635
TO DO THIS.
518
00:11:58,677 --> 00:11:59,760
THEY'RE JUST NOT GONNA DO IT.
519
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,638
WAIT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY'RE
520
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,638
NOT GONNA--THEY SAID THEY WERE
521
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:02,763
GONNA DO IT. NOW THEY'RE SAYING
522
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:02,763
THEY'RE NOT GONNA DO IT?
523
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,057
NO, THEY'RE NOT SAYING THAT.
524
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,766
THEY WILL NEVER SAY THAT.
525
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,766
(chuckles)
526
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:06,767
SO THEY ARE GONNA DO IT?
527
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,395
YEAH, IN THE HOLLYWOOD WAY.
528
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,563
W-WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
529
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:10,605
THEY'RE NOT GONNA DO IT.
530
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,440
THEY'RE INTO IT 100%.
531
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:13,774
THEY'RE JUST NOT GONNA DO IT.
532
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:14,775
DID THEY SAY WHY?
533
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:17,654
YEAH. I WROTE IT DOWN.
534
00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:18,779
"THEY HATE YOU."
535
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:21,824
Yeah. They hate you.
536
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:24,285
(clicks tongue)
537
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,037
ASK HIM IF HE CAN GET US
538
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,037
"BOOK OF MORMON" TICKETS
539
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,831
ON THE 20th,
540
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,831
BUT NOT THE MATINEE.
541
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:31,792
(mouths word)
542
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,002
(door closes)
543
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,886
(door bells jingle)
544
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:43,597
BUSY, HEY.
545
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,890
THANK YOU FOR MEETING ME.
546
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,392
WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS QUICK.
547
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,018
I DON'T WANT ANYONE
548
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,018
TO SEE ME WITH YOU.
549
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:50,520
I MEAN, DO YOU KNOW
550
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:50,520
WHAT THE OTHERS WOULD DO
551
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:52,188
IF THEY FOUND OUT?
552
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,899
I MEAN, NO ONE'S GONNA TAKE ME
553
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,899
OUT TO A NICE FANCY RESTAURANT
554
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,735
AND ORDER
555
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,735
THE CHERRIES JUBILEE.
556
00:12:56,775 --> 00:12:58,403
IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'RE GONNA
557
00:12:56,775 --> 00:12:58,403
TAKE ME TO CHIPPENDALES
558
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:01,322
AND LOOK AT SOME DONG WITH ME,
559
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:01,322
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
560
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:02,449
UH, YEAH.
561
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,617
THANKS FOR MEETING ME.
562
00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:04,867
WHAT DO YOU WANT, JAMES?
563
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,620
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
564
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,620
WHAT'S GOING ON.
565
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:08,246
WHY DOES EVERYBODY HATE ME?
566
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,539
I THOUGHT WE ENDED THE SHOW
567
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,539
ON SUCH GOOD TERMS.
568
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:11,207
SERIOUSLY, YOU DON'T KNOW?
569
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:12,417
NO.
570
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:16,087
YOU SHORTED US
571
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:16,087
FOR THE END-OF-THE-SHOW GIFT.
572
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,631
WHAT?
573
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:20,925
YOU CONVINCED THE CAST
574
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:20,925
TO BUY ROWBOATS
575
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:24,053
FOR THE ENTIRE CREW
576
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:24,053
BECAUSE IT WAS CREEK-THEMED,
577
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:26,097
AND THEN YOU NEVER PAID
578
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:26,097
YOUR SHARE.
579
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:31,770
WE WERE STUCK WITH A BILL
580
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:31,770
FOR 145 BOATS, JAMES.
581
00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:34,355
I WAS ONLY ON THE STUPID SHOW
582
00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:34,355
FOR TWO SEASONS.
583
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:37,858
I BARELY BROKE EVEN.
584
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:37,858
I HAD TO SELL MY HORSE CHA-CHA.
585
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:41,028
ALL RIGHT, THAT WAS A TOTAL
586
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:41,028
OVERSIGHT. I HAD NO IDEA.
587
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,239
WHATEVER MY SHARE WAS,
588
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,239
I'D BE HAPPY TO CHIP IN NOW.
589
00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,241
NO, NO, NO. IT'S TOO LATE
590
00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,241
FOR THAT, OKAY?
591
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:48,286
THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE EVER GOING
592
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:48,286
TO REPAIR THOSE RELATIONSHIPS.
593
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:51,790
THAT SHIP HAS SAILED,
594
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:51,790
AS IT WERE.
595
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,588
YEAH.
596
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,588
I-I ORDERED YOU SOME FOOD.
597
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:00,381
I, UH, I DON'T REALLY KNOW
598
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:00,381
WHAT GIRLS EAT.
599
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,925
OH, SWEETIE, WE DON'T.
600
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,925
WE DON'T EAT.
601
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,261
WE JUST LIVE IN CAVES,
602
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,261
HAVING OUR PERIODS,
603
00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:07,555
UNTIL IT'S TIME TO HAVE SEX
604
00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:07,555
WITH THE FIRST GUY
605
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:11,892
WHO BUYS US A WINE COOLER
606
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:11,892
AND REMINDS US OF OUR DAD.
607
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,312
SINCE IT'S HERE,
608
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,312
I MEAN, MUSTARD, MAYBE.
609
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,148
DIET SODA WOULD BE GREAT.
610
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,148
AND A TO-GO BOX?
611
00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:21,944
ALL MY FRIENDS ARE
612
00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:21,944
DOING BETTER THAN ME.
613
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,322
THEY ALL HATE ME.
614
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,407
I THOUGHT THEY WERE IN LOVE
615
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,407
WITH ME.
616
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,409
THEY DON'T WANT
617
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,409
TO RELIVE THE PAST.
618
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:31,538
AND WHY WOULD THEY? THEY'RE
619
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:31,538
DOING GREAT IN THE PRESENT.
620
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:34,915
I THOUGHT FOR SURE
621
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:34,915
JOSH WAS IN LOVE WITH ME.
622
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,711
MY LIFE WAS BETTER
623
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,711
TEN YEARS AGO.
624
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,754
MY LIFE WAS BETTER
625
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,754
TEN YEARS AGO.
626
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:44,008
OH, MY GOD. ARE WE
627
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:44,008
AT A BLUES BAR IN CHICAGO?
628
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,720
ARE WE WATCHING AN OLD LADY
629
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,720
RUN FOR THE BUS?
630
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,429
ARE WE LISTENING
631
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,429
TO A CAB DRIVER TALK ABOUT
632
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:49,639
HOW HE WAS A DENTIST
633
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:49,639
BACK IN PAKISTAN?
634
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,808
BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE ARE
635
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,808
DEPRESSING THE HELL OUT OF ME.
636
00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:55,311
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY,
637
00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:55,311
CHLOE?
638
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:56,771
I'M NOT THE KING ANYMORE.
639
00:14:56,813 --> 00:15:00,149
SEE THIS? THIS IS WHAT
640
00:14:56,813 --> 00:15:00,149
I WAS TRYING TO PREVENT,
641
00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:02,819
THE REASON I TELL MY FRIENDS
642
00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:02,819
NOT TO LOOK BACK.
643
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:05,946
YOU HAVE TO WALK AWAY
644
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:05,946
FROM THE PAST IN SLOW-MOTION
645
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:09,450
AS IT EXPLODES BEHIND YOU
646
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:09,450
LIKE IN A JOHN WOO MOVIE.
647
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:10,951
JUNE, YOU JUST HAD TO GO
648
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,162
AND MAKE THAT STUPID
649
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,162
PowerPoint PRESENTATION.
650
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:14,330
OH, THIS IS MY FAULT?
651
00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:15,956
FINALLY, YOU ADMIT IT.
652
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,958
NOW GET TO YOUR ROOM AND PUT ON
653
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,958
SOMETHING I DON'T HATE.
654
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,503
THEY'RE AUTUMNAL SWEATERS,
655
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,503
AND BITE ME.
656
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:24,215
ARE WE DONE NOW?
657
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:24,215
CAN WE MOVE ON FROM THIS?
658
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:27,468
YEAH, WE CAN MOVE ON...
659
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,846
TO PLAN "B"...
660
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:31,347
SOMETHING BETTER.
661
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:34,225
SOMETHING BIGGER.
662
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,436
I DON'T NEED THOSE GUYS.
663
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:39,647
IT WASN'T
664
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:39,647
"PACEY, JEN, AND JOEY'S CREEK."
665
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,864
DON'T YOU SEE?
666
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,864
DOING A REUNION IS RIGHT.
667
00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:49,198
IT'S RIGHT FOR US,
668
00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:49,198
IT'S RIGHT FOR THE FANS,
669
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,825
AND IT'S RIGHT FOR US.
670
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,619
PLUS, DOING IT THIS WAY
671
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,619
WOULD BE COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED.
672
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:55,371
NOBODY WOULD SEE IT COMING.
673
00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:56,497
(Muzak playing)
674
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,416
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
675
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,416
ARE YOU SHOPPING?
676
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,252
UH-HUH. YEAH. YEAH.
677
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,252
LOVE GROCERIES.
678
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:05,005
ANYWAY, "MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE"
679
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:05,005
MEETS DAWSON.
680
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,508
RIGHT? YOU DO A SPECIAL REUNION
681
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,508
EPISODE OF YOUR SHOW,
682
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:10,010
AND I'LL BE ON IT.
683
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:10,010
I'LL BE IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU.
684
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:12,221
JAMES, ENOUGH.
685
00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:13,890
YOU'RE TALKING NONSENSE.
686
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,224
HOW'D YOU FIND ME HERE?
687
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:16,392
I DOWNLOADED "GRINDR,"
688
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:17,852
THAT GAY HOOK-UP APP,
689
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:17,852
ON YOUR PHONE.
690
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,354
I CAN TRACK YOU AT ALL TIMES.
691
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,354
(cell phone alert chimes)
692
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:27,946
(mouths words)
693
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,114
JAMES, COME ON.
694
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,114
LET'S GO HOME.
695
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,699
YOU'RE REALLY
696
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,699
UPSETTING FRANKIE.
697
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,242
I'M NOT UPSETTING FRANKIE.
698
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,327
YOU TOOK MY WHIPPED CREAM.
699
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,078
F-FRANKIE.
700
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,205
FRANKIE. FRANKIE, YOU'RE
701
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,205
NOT UNDERSTANDING, OKAY?
702
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:41,125
THIS COULD BE HUGE.
703
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:41,125
IT'S GONNA BE AMAZING.
704
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,670
I GOT MY BEST GUY WORKING
705
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,670
ON THE SCRIPT AS WE SPEAK.
706
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,046
"INTERIOR, WHITE HOUSE, DAY.
707
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:49,258
"PRESIDENT LEERY SITS
708
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:49,258
IN THE OVAL OFFICE.
709
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:52,846
MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE
710
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:52,846
APPROACHES, WEARING A...
711
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:54,848
"TASTEFUL PANTSUIT.
712
00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:58,351
"DAWSON--'EXCELLENT WORK,
713
00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:58,351
COPRESIDENT MALCOLM.'
714
00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:02,522
"MALCOLM--'THANK YOU.'"
715
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:05,900
YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN,
716
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:05,900
LUTHER VANDROSS WILSON.
717
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,360
(laughs)
718
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,320
(chuckles) ALL RIGHT, JAMES,
719
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,320
IT WAS--IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU.
720
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,280
I'M A FAN, BUT, UH,
721
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,280
I'M THROWING A BARBECUE.
722
00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:12,490
I REALLY NEED
723
00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:12,490
TO GET MY GROCERIES.
724
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,950
THAT'S PERFECT!
725
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,950
W-WE'LL WRITE THE BARBECUE
726
00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:15,326
INTO THE SCRIPT!
727
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,578
YOU'RE FEELING NEGLECTED 'CAUSE
728
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,578
YOU--YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE.
729
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:20,540
I'M FEELING SO MANY EMOTIONS,
730
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:20,540
I'M BAWLING MY EYES OUT.
731
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:22,249
HOT TEARS, GREAT FOOD--
732
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:23,543
(whoosh)
733
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:25,586
OH.
734
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:26,671
NICE SHOT.
735
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:30,257
IT'S MY GROCERY LIST.
736
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,510
IT'S PROBABLY
737
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,510
WORTH SOMETHING.
738
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,765
OH.
739
00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:42,436
(door closes)
740
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:50,110
HI, JAMES.
741
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:52,154
HOW YOU FEELING?
742
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:54,699
MARK-PAUL GOSSELAAR?
743
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:57,035
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
744
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:57,994
I CALLED HIM.
745
00:17:58,036 --> 00:17:59,119
TA-DA!
746
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,120
I LOVE YOU.
747
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,915
WHEN I WAS 10,
748
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,915
I HAD A SHIH TZU,
749
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:04,208
AND I NAMED IT
750
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:04,208
DOG-PAUL GOSSELAAR.
751
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:06,126
SO DID I.
752
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,629
CHLOE TOLD ME ABOUT
753
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,629
YOUR REUNION EPISODE.
754
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,172
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE--
755
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:13,133
TO TELL YOU,
756
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:13,133
YOU NEED TO MOVE ON.
757
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,969
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
758
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,969
YOU DON'T--YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
759
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:18,222
DON'T I? YOU THINK I HAVEN'T
760
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:18,222
CORNERED FRANKIE MUNIZ BEFORE?
761
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,140
I ACCOSTED HIM AT A ZOO.
762
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,141
YOU SMELL AMAZING.
763
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,936
WHY ARE THOSE HIPPOS
764
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,936
ALWAYS SLEEPING?
765
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:25,312
HAVE YOU READ MY BOOK, AMIGO?
766
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:27,356
IT'S ALL ABOUT FINDING THE NOW.
767
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,150
YOU SEE...
768
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:34,321
I HAD TO CALL
769
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:34,321
A TIME-OUT ON MY OWN SELF.
770
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:37,157
BUMMED AROUND SOLVANG
771
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:37,157
FOR A WHILE IN A PEDAL CAR.
772
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:39,201
REALLY GOT INTO DUTCH CANDY.
773
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:40,536
WELL, IT'S ALL IN THE BOOK.
774
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:44,540
SEE, YOU AND I BOTH
775
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:44,540
BECAME FAMOUS EARLY ON
776
00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:45,959
FOR AN ICONIC ROLE,
777
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,168
BUT WE CAN'T LET THAT ROLE
778
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,168
DEFINE US.
779
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,379
THAT'S WHY I SIGNED IT
780
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,379
SPECIALLY FOR YOU.
781
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,173
"BEST. MARK-PAUL."
782
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:54,174
TA-DA!
783
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,177
DAWSON LEERY
784
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,596
IS TALKING
785
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,222
TO ZACK MORRIS.
786
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:03,893
I AM SO INTO THIS.
787
00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,394
I HOPE THEY KISS.
788
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:06,687
(Mark-Paul) ...HAVE
789
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:06,687
THE BEST YEARS IN FRONT OF YOU.
790
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:08,898
WHY AM I SO INTO THIS?
791
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:12,234
I AM A GROWN WOMAN.
792
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:12,234
I AM NOT A TEENAGER.
793
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:13,778
WHY?
794
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,030
WHY CAN'T I JUST MOVE ON
795
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,030
LIKE THE REST OF MY FRIENDS?
796
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:18,240
OH, MY GOD.
797
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:18,240
SCREW YOUR FRIENDS.
798
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:21,368
THAT STAY-AT-HOME? GUESS WHAT.
799
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:21,368
HER KIDS GROW UP AND MOVE OUT.
800
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,412
THE UNDERSECRETARY OF COMMERCE
801
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,412
OR WHATEVER?
802
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:25,372
SHE GETS REPLACED BY
803
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:25,372
THE NEXT ADMINISTRATION.
804
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:28,084
AND THE THIRD ONE? I DON'T
805
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:28,084
REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID SHE DID,
806
00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:30,419
SO LET'S JUST SAY
807
00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:30,419
SHE GETS HIT BY A BUS.
808
00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:33,213
THE POINT IS, THEIR STORIES ARE
809
00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:33,213
ALREADY WRITTEN.
810
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:36,216
YOU ARE SITTING
811
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:36,216
AT A FAME INTERVENTION
812
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:38,511
NEXT TO A HOT-ASS HO
813
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:38,511
PACKING A TRANQ GUN.
814
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:41,097
DUDE, YOUR STORY IS
815
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:41,097
JUST STARTING.
816
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,224
THANKS.
817
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,224
(Mark-Paul)
818
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,224
YOU HAVE A GREAT BODY...
819
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,726
(speaks indistinctly)
820
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,726
THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME.
821
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:47,145
SHUT UP.
822
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,228
YOU NEED TO GET RID
823
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,023
OF EVERYTHING
824
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,023
FROM YOUR DAWSON DAYS.
825
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:53,026
IT'S KEEPING YOU
826
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:53,026
FROM MOVING FORWARD.
827
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:55,235
I SOLD
828
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:55,235
MY BAYSIDE LETTERMAN JACKET.
829
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,404
THAT'S HOW I BOUGHT
830
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,404
MY HORSE CHA-CHA.
831
00:19:57,446 --> 00:20:00,282
OH, GOD. I LOVE HER SO MUCH.
832
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,118
YOU'RE RIGHT.
833
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,244
I-I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE IT
834
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,244
U-UNTIL THIS HAPPENED--
835
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:07,498
HOW MUCH TIME AND ENERGY I SPENT
836
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:07,498
FOCUSED ON THAT PART OF MY LIFE.
837
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,292
I NEED TO PURGE THE PAST.
838
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:11,627
YOU'LL BE AMAZED
839
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,212
AT ALL THE GOOD THINGS
840
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,212
THAT START TO HAPPEN.
841
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:16,716
CELE-BRO HUG?
842
00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:19,468
WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT?
843
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:22,429
THAT'S THE TITLE OF CHAPTER
844
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:22,429
SEVEN. WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?
845
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:23,890
I DON'T KNOW.
846
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:23,890
I JUST MADE IT UP.
847
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:26,350
MY GHOSTWRITER, VIVIAN DANTE,
848
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:26,350
MADE THAT UP.
849
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:29,520
SHE ALSO RUNS MY TWITTER ACCOUNT
850
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:29,520
ON SUNDAYS WHEN I RIDE CHA-CHA.
851
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,273
(Paula Cole)
852
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,273
♪ I DON'T WANNA WAIT ♪
853
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:36,276
♪ FOR OUR LIVES TO BE OVER ♪
854
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:38,196
♪ I WANT TO KNOW ♪
855
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,198
(voice warps) ♪ RIGHT NOW
856
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,198
WHAT IT WILL BE ♪
857
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,160
THANKS FOR COMING
858
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,160
TO MY FUNERAL.
859
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:45,369
OF COURSE, JAMES.
860
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,371
WE WOULDN'T MISS IT.
861
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,371
SAY THE WORD, AND I'LL SING.
862
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:48,956
THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME
863
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:48,956
MOVE FORWARD.
864
00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:51,458
AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT
865
00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:51,458
YOUR "GODFATHER" DAY.
866
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,293
I'LL BE SURE TO FIND
867
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,293
OTHER WAYS
868
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:54,378
FOR YOU TO MANIPULATE ME
869
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:54,378
OUT OF MY MONEY.
870
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:57,423
MM! I HOPE SO, FRIEND.
871
00:20:58,340 --> 00:20:59,967
I'M SORRY THERE'S NO REUNION.
872
00:21:00,009 --> 00:21:02,469
OH, THAT'S OKAY.
873
00:21:00,009 --> 00:21:02,469
I DON'T NEED ONE ANYMORE.
874
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:04,972
AAH!
875
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:04,972
AAH!
876
00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:06,348
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
877
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:07,725
OH, PROBABLY JUST
878
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:07,725
JUNE'S SWEATERS.
879
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,227
I'M ASSUMING
880
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,227
THEY'RE ALL POLYESTER.
881
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,728
YOU THREW MY SWEATERS
882
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,728
IN THERE?
883
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,730
COME ON, JAMES.
884
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,398
♪ [rock music] ♪
885
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,495
NEVER LOOK BACK, JAMES.
886
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:30,372
DON'T WORRY. I WON'T.
887
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:33,333
SOME OF THOSE SWEATERS
888
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:33,333
WERE EXPENSIVE.
889
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:35,294
NO, THEY WEREN'T.
53603
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