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1
00:00:05,605 --> 00:00:07,606
Come on.
Big money. Big money!
2
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:09,107
Harry, where were you?
3
00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:11,109
You were supposed
to pick me up from work.
4
00:00:11,111 --> 00:00:13,612
Yes, I was.
Free spin! Free spin!
5
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:15,080
I had to walk.
6
00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:17,482
I'm soaking wet!
Look at me!
7
00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:21,019
Dick, would you
like to buy a vowel?
8
00:00:22,254 --> 00:00:23,555
What are you doing, Sally?
9
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:25,556
Oh, I'm looking
for an office job.
10
00:00:25,558 --> 00:00:28,927
I bought a new suit, and I
need a place to wear it.
11
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:30,161
♪ Fortune
12
00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:32,230
♪ you're my wheel of fortune ♪
13
00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:33,564
♪ the appeal of fortune
14
00:00:33,566 --> 00:00:35,466
♪ is sublime
15
00:00:37,669 --> 00:00:40,238
um, Tommy, I'm meeting
Kevin at the mall.
16
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:41,339
Do you want to come along?
17
00:00:41,341 --> 00:00:42,407
Yeah!
18
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:43,574
Yeah. That'd be great!
19
00:00:43,576 --> 00:00:46,577
Me, my old girlfriend,
her new boyfriend,
20
00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:48,079
cruisin' the food court,
hangin' out,
21
00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:49,580
splittin' a hot pretzel.
22
00:00:49,582 --> 00:00:50,682
No.
23
00:00:52,084 --> 00:00:53,718
You are so immature.
24
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,420
Oh, really, August,
and how old are you?
25
00:00:55,422 --> 00:00:57,321
I'm not talking
about age, Tommy.
26
00:00:57,323 --> 00:00:59,123
I'm talking about maturity.
27
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:00,091
Oh, maturity. I see.
28
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:01,526
Well, tell me, August.
29
00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,728
Who's the one who wants to
hang out at the mall, hmm?!
30
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,263
Your son is impossible.
31
00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:07,599
I completely agree.
32
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:10,435
He doesn't get that girls
mature faster, and that women--
33
00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:12,170
blah, blah, blah.
You made your point.
34
00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:14,005
I said I agreed.
Now get out!
35
00:01:19,511 --> 00:01:22,546
Why do you insist on hanging
out with teenagers?
36
00:01:22,548 --> 00:01:24,348
It's not my fault.
I don't have any choice.
37
00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:26,851
This was the body you assigned me.
It's pathetic.
38
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:30,288
I'm older than any of you, but if
I want to see an r-rated movie,
39
00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,857
I have to go
with Mrs. dubcek.
40
00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:37,695
Just once, just once I'd like to
meet a woman closer to my age.
41
00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:40,098
You know, someone
like Angie Dickinson.
42
00:01:42,568 --> 00:01:43,735
Wait!
43
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:45,237
The TV is off.
44
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:47,239
Yeah, I turned it off.
45
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,140
Well, but now it's off.
46
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:51,709
We have a mission.
47
00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:54,011
We didn't come to this
planet to watch television.
48
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:57,315
Yeah, but it's given us
a reason to stay.
49
00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:59,817
I'm ordering you to go without
television for a week!
50
00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:00,818
Now, that's final!
51
00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:02,653
A week, no TV?
52
00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:04,155
What'll I do?
53
00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:06,758
Why don't you try using
your brain for a change?
54
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:10,095
Well, what good
could come from it?
55
00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:12,497
What's Harry's problem now?
56
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:13,931
Dick's the one
with the problem.
57
00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:15,333
What's the matter, dick?
58
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,168
It's Mary.
59
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:19,838
I hate you!
Go figure.
60
00:02:22,041 --> 00:02:25,544
This afternoon I tried to
borrow her magnifying glass,
61
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,913
you know, to burn some ants.
62
00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:29,614
Of course. Go on.
63
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:31,382
So anyway, she's like,
"no, you'll break it!"
64
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:32,883
And I'm all,
"I will not!"
65
00:02:32,885 --> 00:02:34,618
And she's like, "it's mine!
You can't have it!"
66
00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:36,254
So we have this huge fight.
67
00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:38,623
Finally she let me borrow it
68
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,958
when she wasn't looking.
69
00:02:42,961 --> 00:02:44,562
And let me guess.
You broke it.
70
00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:45,596
Yes!
71
00:02:49,368 --> 00:02:51,836
A particularly large queen
burst into flames,
72
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:56,107
and I got scared and dropped
it on the sidewalk.
73
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,575
Oh, dick!
74
00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,544
I know what'll
make you feel better.
75
00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:00,978
A little TV.
76
00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:02,079
Aah!
77
00:03:39,952 --> 00:03:41,019
[Doorbell rings]
78
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,520
Who is it?
79
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:43,688
It's Tommy.
80
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:46,524
Oh, Tommy, come on in.
81
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:47,692
Hi. Um...
82
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,027
I'm here to return
83
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:51,629
your magnifying glass.
84
00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:53,331
Dick broke that, didn't he?
85
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:56,901
And he couldn't bring it
over himself, could he?
86
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,903
He's so immature.
87
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,406
Well, he's not
necessarily--
88
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,775
yeah, he's pretty immature.
89
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:05,777
I'll just leave this
here on the table.
90
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:06,977
Thanks.
91
00:04:06,979 --> 00:04:08,746
Oh, wow, the aztecs!
92
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:10,081
You studying them in school?
93
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,950
No, but I read
about them on a placemat
94
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:14,552
at the pancake house.
95
00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:17,055
You know what
the aztecs' problem was?
96
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,990
They were at the wrong apex
97
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,859
of the technological world arc.
98
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:22,160
I've never heard of that.
99
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,661
Oh, it's my own theory.
100
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:27,165
You see, technology begins
in China in 5,000 b.C.
101
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:30,701
With, um, literature and
architecture and pasta
102
00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:33,137
and alcoholic beverages
and fireworks.
103
00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:34,239
Oh!
104
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:35,940
Would you like an oreo?
105
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,308
Oh, thank you.
106
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,543
Oh, please continue.
This is fascinating.
107
00:04:39,545 --> 00:04:43,247
So over the centuries the techno-arc
moves through the middle east,
108
00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:46,751
Egypt, Greece, Rome, Florence,
Europe, the americas,
109
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:48,820
until it gets back
to the pacific rim,
110
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,788
but it always travels west.
111
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:54,759
So you're saying, the earth's
rotation affects civilization.
112
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:55,993
Exactly!
113
00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:58,763
And every dominant society
is in sync with the arc.
114
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:00,198
And the aztecs are--
115
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,899
they're off the arc
by 2,000 years,
116
00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:05,036
and that is why their advancements
are never recognized.
117
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:08,773
You have a very
interesting theory.
118
00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:10,675
Well, for a teenager.
119
00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:11,843
No, for anybody.
120
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,646
Most people dismiss
non-literate cultures.
121
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,514
Well, we live in one.
122
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:23,888
Would you like
a cup of coffee, Tommy?
123
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,156
Could you do me a favor?
124
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,157
Hmm.
125
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,759
Call me tom.
126
00:05:29,328 --> 00:05:33,197
Would you like
a cup of coffee, tom?
127
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,834
I would love
a cup of coffee, Mary.
128
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:37,936
All right.
129
00:05:43,742 --> 00:05:45,009
Miss, uh, Solomon?
130
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,477
There's been a mistake.
131
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:50,615
There's only 4 words
on this typing test.
132
00:05:52,784 --> 00:05:54,285
No, no, no.
That's right.
133
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:56,787
You asked me if I could
type 40 words per minute.
134
00:05:56,789 --> 00:05:58,356
There it is:
135
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:01,525
"40 words per minute."
136
00:06:02,594 --> 00:06:05,997
And it only took me
a half hour.
137
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,899
When we say 40--
138
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:11,068
ok. You know what?
They're your rules, not mine.
139
00:06:12,304 --> 00:06:13,437
Hello...
140
00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:14,605
"Sally."
141
00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:16,407
I'm Carl.
142
00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:18,276
Hi. You know, you should check
on your friend over there.
143
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:19,911
No speak-a de English.
144
00:06:21,313 --> 00:06:23,814
I don't work in personnel.
I'm in distribution,
145
00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:26,217
but maybe I can help you
get through that.
146
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:29,487
Oh, yeah. I'm having some
trouble filling it out.
147
00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:32,256
You're, uh,
filling it out just fine.
148
00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:35,326
I'm, uh, looking
for a new assistant.
149
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:36,560
Oh, great!
150
00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:38,796
And I already know you can
type 40 words per minute.
151
00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:42,433
Hell, I can type 100 words per
minute, you give me enough time.
152
00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:47,271
[Telephone rings]
153
00:06:48,674 --> 00:06:49,841
Hello.
154
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:52,677
Oh, hi, tom!
155
00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:57,281
I had a wonderful time, too!
156
00:06:57,283 --> 00:07:00,885
No, I will not
let you buy me lunch.
157
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:04,288
I'll buy you lunch.
158
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:06,557
I insist!
159
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:07,791
Ok.
160
00:07:07,793 --> 00:07:09,293
Good-bye, tom.
161
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:12,263
Nina, I'll be back
in about an hour.
162
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,497
Have a nice lunch.
163
00:07:16,301 --> 00:07:19,070
Nina, I need to send
something over to tom,
164
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:21,906
and I seem to have lost tom's address.
Who is he again?
165
00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:24,875
I don't know, and it's
none of my business.
166
00:07:24,877 --> 00:07:26,744
Well, it's none of my business,
167
00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:28,579
and I'm obsessed with it.
168
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:30,448
I thought
the two of you were over.
169
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:34,452
Why do all men think once they plant
the flag, they own the Mountain?
170
00:07:35,820 --> 00:07:37,821
I spent 2 years
climbing that Mountain,
171
00:07:37,823 --> 00:07:40,057
and I'm not about to let
another man yodel on it!
172
00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:49,100
Aah!
173
00:07:50,769 --> 00:07:51,969
What's the matter?
174
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,571
Oh. He's thinking.
175
00:07:55,374 --> 00:07:57,442
Tommy, do you still
have feelings for me?
176
00:07:57,444 --> 00:08:00,511
Sorry, August.
I'm seeing someone else.
177
00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:02,547
What?
I can't believe this.
178
00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:04,415
Kevin and I have only been
going out for a month,
179
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:06,784
and you already
have a new girlfriend?
180
00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:08,119
Oh, that's rich.
181
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:09,220
Good-bye.
182
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,422
Your son is impossible!
183
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:14,859
And you're a pain in the ass.
You're made for each other!
184
00:08:16,294 --> 00:08:17,461
Where's dinner?
185
00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:19,197
Sally's not home yet.
186
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,197
Nyaah!
187
00:08:21,967 --> 00:08:24,402
Harry, go think
in another room.
188
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,903
And no television!
189
00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:28,739
Dick, I've been
meaning to ask you.
190
00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:29,907
Um...
191
00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:32,176
Are you still
interested in Mary?
192
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,946
No! Why does everybody ask
me that, because I'm not!
193
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,215
No, sir.
She and I are free!
194
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,149
Good.
195
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:39,317
Oh, yeah, it's good.
196
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:40,818
Yeah, I'm glad.
197
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:41,986
Damn right.
So am I.
198
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:43,154
Hey, guys!
199
00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:44,288
Good news!
200
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:45,823
What is it, lieutenant?
201
00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:47,325
I got a job.
202
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:48,826
A real job!
Look!
203
00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:51,128
"Sally Solomon,
stern and bower, inc."
204
00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:52,196
It's my I.D.
205
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,265
I have a parking pass,
medical, dental,
206
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,632
pension, profit sharing.
207
00:08:55,634 --> 00:08:58,903
I'm thinking
of retiring in Mexico.
208
00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:00,271
Well, your dollar
goes further there.
209
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,706
Well, what about dinner?
210
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,207
It's so much harder
than I thought.
211
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,209
I actually have to learn how
to respect my coworkers
212
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,278
if I'm going to keep this job.
213
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,213
"No offense, but
you're offending me."
214
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,681
What's this?
215
00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:13,484
Oh, it's a pamphlet about
understanding and tolerance
216
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:14,986
and all that crap.
217
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:17,588
Anyway, I read it, and as
hard as this is to believe,
218
00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,924
sometimes I think I make
people feel uncomfortable.
219
00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:21,392
Oh, get out.
220
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:26,397
What's this? "Hearty man's
meatloaf with all the fixin's."
221
00:09:29,334 --> 00:09:32,837
Ok. This is
the bad news, you guys.
222
00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:35,673
As a working woman, I can
no longer cook for you.
223
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:38,342
From now on, you have
to eat frozen dinners.
224
00:09:40,312 --> 00:09:41,812
Aww.
Aww.
225
00:09:41,814 --> 00:09:43,681
Can we start tonight?
226
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:45,583
Sure. As soon as
I take off my coat.
227
00:09:54,826 --> 00:09:55,960
Hi, guys.
228
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:58,462
I'll just, uh, take that.
229
00:10:02,834 --> 00:10:05,036
Harry: Noooo!
230
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,309
Mr. Webber, you have a
meeting in 10 minutes.
231
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:14,344
Mmm. Someone smells
like fresh lemons.
232
00:10:14,346 --> 00:10:15,946
What are you wearing?
233
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,148
Pledge.
234
00:10:21,186 --> 00:10:22,686
I like it.
235
00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:25,356
I'm going to have a hard
time concentrating on work
236
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,124
if you go around
smelling like that.
237
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,894
Oh, I'm sorry I distracted you.
It won't happen again.
238
00:10:29,896 --> 00:10:31,295
Well, speaking of distractions,
239
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,298
I can't stop thinking about
what's under that jacket.
240
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,667
I mean, give me a break.
I'm only human.
241
00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:37,769
I'm sorry.
242
00:10:38,837 --> 00:10:40,404
Does that help?
243
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,073
Oh, that's much better.
244
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:43,841
Ok. Look, Mr. Webber,
I just want you to know
245
00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:46,711
that I read that booklet
from the human resources--
246
00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:47,812
oh, whoa, whoa. Whoa!
247
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,180
I was just kidding.
Honestly.
248
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:50,848
Oh, you're very kind,
249
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:52,616
but, look, I know I look hot,
250
00:10:52,618 --> 00:10:55,752
and if I have impeded
your performance
251
00:10:55,754 --> 00:10:57,388
or made you uncomfortable
in the workplace,
252
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,423
I apologize for that right now.
253
00:11:00,492 --> 00:11:02,226
Well, if you want to apologize,
254
00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:04,862
maybe we could
do it over drinks.
255
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:06,230
Oh, that's sweet.
256
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:09,166
'Cause I certainly can't
work with those legs around.
257
00:11:11,336 --> 00:11:15,506
Do you have any idea
what you're doing to me?
258
00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:18,175
Oh, my God.
259
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,343
[Door closes]
260
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:21,445
I'm sexually harassing my boss!
261
00:11:24,516 --> 00:11:27,051
[Frantic knocking on door]
262
00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:32,623
Harry, what are you doing here?
263
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:36,394
Just visiting
my good friend Nina.
264
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:39,029
Hey, what's that music?
265
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:40,198
It's jazz.
266
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,832
Well, it's groovy.
267
00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:44,268
You know what else is groovy?
268
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,003
Television.
269
00:11:47,372 --> 00:11:49,874
You know what's on
television right now?
270
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:50,908
Shows.
271
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,243
Oh.
272
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:54,679
Sorry, Harry.
Something's wrong with my antenna.
273
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:55,847
Don't worry.
274
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:57,315
I'll fix it.
275
00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:59,350
As God is my witness,
276
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:01,619
I'll fix it.
277
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:03,787
[Frantic knocking on door]
278
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:06,424
Oh, Nina, I got
to talk to somebody.
279
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,025
Well, sure.
Come on in.
280
00:12:08,027 --> 00:12:10,227
You got to help me.
I am sexually harassing my boss.
281
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,462
What are you talking about?
282
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:12,329
It's all my fault.
283
00:12:12,331 --> 00:12:13,931
No matter what perfume
I wear, he sniffs me.
284
00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:15,098
My legs distract him
all day long.
285
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:16,567
He can't get any work done.
286
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,670
Sally, this guy sounds
like a total creep.
287
00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:20,638
Aah!
288
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:21,806
Good news!
289
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:24,909
I've got Mr. ed.
290
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,844
No, wait.
It's a Madonna video.
291
00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:30,014
[Banging on door]
292
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:31,515
Nina, I need some information!
293
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:33,517
Dick, I was talking to Nina.
294
00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:34,885
Well, wait your turn!
295
00:12:34,887 --> 00:12:37,254
Nina, I want you
to call up Mary
296
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,622
and find out
if she's with anybody.
297
00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:40,191
No!
I'd do it myself,
298
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,493
but she'd think that I still
wanted her and I don't!
299
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,862
Don't pull me into this.
It makes me uncomfortable.
300
00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:46,330
Aha! You're
harassing her!
301
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:47,631
I am not!
302
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:49,333
You're making her
uncomfortable.
303
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:51,669
I know when I'm making someone
uncomfortable, and this isn't it.
304
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:54,171
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
305
00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:55,806
Everybody freeze.
306
00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:57,808
We've got reception.
307
00:12:57,810 --> 00:13:00,744
I said no TV!
308
00:13:00,746 --> 00:13:03,581
Oh! That
was my antenna!
309
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:06,817
Don't worry, I'll take
it out of your salary.
310
00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:08,386
Who is Mary seeing?
311
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,721
Why don't you ask Tommy.
He's at Mary's right now.
312
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,189
What, Tommy's at Mary's?
313
00:13:15,660 --> 00:13:18,396
That duplicitous old fart!
314
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:19,330
Hey.
315
00:13:20,331 --> 00:13:23,534
Which is our nickname for him.
316
00:13:26,905 --> 00:13:28,839
[Doorbell rings]
317
00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:30,341
I'll get it.
318
00:13:37,015 --> 00:13:38,849
Hello.
What do you want?
319
00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:39,883
Where's Mary?
320
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:41,318
The kitchen.
What do you want?
321
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,819
I have to see her.
322
00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:44,622
Yeah. Let's just keep
this outside, all right?
323
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:45,990
What do you think you're doing?
324
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,591
I'm enjoying myself.
325
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:48,926
For the first time
on this planet,
326
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:51,428
I've met a woman who appreciates
me for what I think,
327
00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:53,931
a woman who doesn't
judge me by my appearance.
328
00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:55,298
I'm happy, dick.
329
00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:56,333
She's too old for you.
330
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:57,367
I'm older than you!
331
00:13:57,369 --> 00:13:58,802
Well, you're too old for her!
332
00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:00,171
Either way, it won't work!
333
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,940
I make her laugh, dick.
She likes it.
334
00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:05,475
You shut your foul mouth!
335
00:14:06,678 --> 00:14:08,979
She said she never
laughed so hard with you.
336
00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:10,314
Listen to me, grandpa.
337
00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:13,217
You stay away from the
woman that I don't love!
338
00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:15,019
She's not your girlfriend
anymore, pal.
339
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:17,654
You gave me the all clear,
so shove off!
340
00:14:17,656 --> 00:14:18,989
Mary: Tom!
341
00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:21,492
Yeah, I'm
coming...Mary.
342
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,327
Ooh!
343
00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:25,997
And if I catch you hanging
around this porch again,
344
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:28,265
I'm calling the cops.
345
00:14:34,439 --> 00:14:36,908
Dick: I can't believe he had the
gall to say he could make her laugh.
346
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:38,575
I'd like to see him do
it with me in the room.
347
00:14:38,577 --> 00:14:39,843
Could you please
take this somewhere else?
348
00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:40,844
She laughed
her head off with me.
349
00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:42,212
I'm being harassed, ok?
350
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:43,748
My problem is far greater
351
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:44,981
than anything
to do with your--
352
00:14:44,983 --> 00:14:47,818
hey, hey, hey!
353
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:49,152
Harry, what are you doing?
354
00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:50,655
Thinking.
355
00:14:52,490 --> 00:14:53,791
Learning.
356
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:56,426
Observing the world
outside the TV.
357
00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:58,495
And you know
what I've observed?
358
00:14:58,497 --> 00:14:59,397
You.
359
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,497
And you know what?
360
00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:01,798
You're not very good
at your job.
361
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,534
I beg your pardon!
362
00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:05,469
Let's review!
363
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:08,338
What have you accomplished
since we got here?
364
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:10,408
Well, you got
a rathole apartment,
365
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:15,012
a used car, and you
got lucky a few times.
366
00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:16,213
17!
367
00:15:17,282 --> 00:15:18,448
17.
368
00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:20,317
Well, the big giant head's
369
00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:21,852
got to have a merit badge
for that.
370
00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:23,220
Got you there, dick.
371
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:24,421
And you!
372
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:26,924
You call yourself
a security officer.
373
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,425
Look at you!
374
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:31,862
Since we got here, we've been
robbed, mugged, threatened,
375
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:33,697
and now some mental
midget is making you feel
376
00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:36,866
all uncomfortable
in the workplace.
377
00:15:37,969 --> 00:15:41,538
And all you can do
about it is yak,
378
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:46,143
yak, yaaak!
379
00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:49,346
You want your woman back,
you go get her!
380
00:15:49,348 --> 00:15:52,782
Your boss is a moron,
put your foot in his butt!
381
00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:02,293
We're an interstellar squad of
superior beings, for God's sakes!
382
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,061
Now quit your bitchin'
and get out of the kitchen!
383
00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:15,272
Well, good morning, sweetness.
384
00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:16,706
Let's cut to the chase.
385
00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:18,708
Your conduct is affecting
my work performance
386
00:16:18,710 --> 00:16:22,712
and/or creating an intimidating
environment in my workplace.
387
00:16:22,714 --> 00:16:26,983
You know, Sally.
388
00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:28,251
It's casual Friday.
389
00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:31,154
Why are you wearing a bra?
390
00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:38,128
Oh, wow!
391
00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:39,930
I don't believe it.
392
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,765
Harry was right.
393
00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:45,836
I'm going to have to plant a patent
leather pump right in your ass.
394
00:16:50,641 --> 00:16:53,277
I'm afraid the, uh, company
395
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:55,745
has decided to terminate you.
396
00:16:58,282 --> 00:17:00,183
You're having me killed?
397
00:17:01,319 --> 00:17:04,154
No. No, no.
We're firing you.
398
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:05,755
Oh, good.
399
00:17:05,757 --> 00:17:07,524
Why?
400
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:09,493
The incident
with Mr. Webber.
401
00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:12,263
Oh. Ok, uh, Veronica.
402
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:13,997
Um, I'm glad
you brought that up.
403
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:18,301
You see, Mr. Webber has been
making me feel very uncomfortable.
404
00:17:18,303 --> 00:17:20,104
Well, then you should've
filed a complaint with us.
405
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:21,038
That's what I'm doing.
406
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,440
Yes, I know,
407
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:25,809
but you should've come in
before you broke his kneecap.
408
00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:28,178
Now you don't
have a leg to stand on.
409
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:30,347
But neither does he.
410
00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:35,752
[Doorbell rings]
411
00:17:38,523 --> 00:17:40,824
Hello.
Can I help you?
412
00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:42,559
Yeah. I'm here
to see Mary.
413
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:43,827
I'm sorry.
You can't come in.
414
00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:45,662
It's me!
Who is it?
415
00:17:45,664 --> 00:17:46,764
Oh, tom!
416
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:47,932
Come in!
417
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:50,433
We're having coffee.
Would you like a cup?
418
00:17:50,435 --> 00:17:51,835
Uh, no, he wouldn't.
419
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:52,969
Yes, please!
420
00:17:52,971 --> 00:17:54,905
Oh. I'll go
put on some more.
421
00:17:56,641 --> 00:17:57,741
What are you doing here?
422
00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,243
I brought Mary a new
magnifying glass.
423
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:03,046
I couldn't bear her
being without one.
424
00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:06,016
This is me you're talking
to, you pathetic heap.
425
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,484
You're only here
426
00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:10,487
because you can't stand to see
Mary happy with someone else.
427
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:12,623
Like you could threaten
me. It's laughable.
428
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:13,858
Ha ha ha!
429
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:17,761
You see. Now you're
making me laugh at you!
430
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:18,862
If you hurt her,
431
00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:20,997
I swear to God,
I will break your neck.
432
00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:23,333
You will not threaten me.
Is that clear, soldier?
433
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:25,935
Oh. Ok. Then, uh,
permission to do this.
434
00:18:31,976 --> 00:18:33,076
Ugh!
435
00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:46,090
Aah!
436
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,259
So, how do you like this?
437
00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:50,261
Does...That...Feel...Good?
438
00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:53,630
What is going on?
439
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:54,531
Roughhousing?
440
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,435
Tommy, are you all right?
441
00:18:58,437 --> 00:18:59,536
My daddy hurt me.
442
00:19:03,274 --> 00:19:05,275
Dick, I don't believe you!
443
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:06,777
Oh, Mary, if you only understood
what was going on here--
444
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:08,745
I don't want to understand!
445
00:19:08,747 --> 00:19:09,980
Get out!
446
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,314
But he started it!
447
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,616
Get out and get help!
448
00:19:14,785 --> 00:19:15,819
All right.
449
00:19:16,888 --> 00:19:18,956
If that's what you want.
450
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:21,892
Promise me you'll
be good to her.
451
00:19:29,801 --> 00:19:30,967
Oh.
452
00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:33,737
Oh, well. I suppose
I can get another one
453
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:36,774
the next time I'm in
southwestern tanganyika.
454
00:19:37,842 --> 00:19:39,843
I shouldn't have
come here tonight.
455
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:43,279
You're welcome here anytime.
456
00:19:43,281 --> 00:19:45,515
Mary, sit down.
457
00:19:47,318 --> 00:19:48,986
What is it, tom?
458
00:19:50,054 --> 00:19:51,588
Listen.
459
00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:52,556
You're really sweet,
460
00:19:52,558 --> 00:19:55,059
but it's just not
going to work out,
461
00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:56,460
and besides,
I think we both know
462
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:58,762
there's still a guy out
there who's stuck on you.
463
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:00,030
I have no idea--
464
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,332
shh!
465
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:02,366
Don't speak.
466
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:06,002
Just let me remember
the way you look
467
00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:07,470
right now.
468
00:20:18,349 --> 00:20:19,616
It's ok, dick.
469
00:20:19,618 --> 00:20:21,484
You can have her.
470
00:20:21,486 --> 00:20:24,821
You're not giving her
to me. I took her.
471
00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:27,357
Well, whatever gets you
through the night.
472
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:28,825
Harry: Ah!
473
00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:30,227
There you are.
474
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,795
You know, I've
been thinking again.
475
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:34,965
Oh, my God. Aw! Shut up!
476
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:37,368
You know, dick, I don't
think you have a clue
477
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:38,969
about earth women.
478
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,904
Matter of fact, I don't think
479
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:44,374
you'd be too good with
women from any planet.
480
00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:45,809
Speaking of women,
481
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:48,311
I think you're incredibly hot.
482
00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:50,180
You know, we're not really
brother and sister.
483
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:51,514
It's all made up.
484
00:20:51,516 --> 00:20:54,584
What say we have a go at it?
485
00:20:55,820 --> 00:20:58,755
You, me, and a stick of butter.
What do you say?
486
00:21:00,257 --> 00:21:03,727
Look, Harry, home shopping.
487
00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:06,596
Harry: Oh, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
488
00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,932
Seen it, seen it.
Bought it, bought it.
489
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,835
Want it. Need it.
Ooooh!
490
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:14,370
Oh, I like that.
491
00:21:14,372 --> 00:21:15,839
Ahh. Ahh. Ahh.
492
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:18,008
Peace.
You know, dick,
493
00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:20,677
you're just like that
guy I worked for.
494
00:21:20,679 --> 00:21:22,512
It's all about
possession and control.
495
00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:24,380
You think you own Mary.
496
00:21:24,382 --> 00:21:27,217
Oh, no, I know now
that I never owned Mary,
497
00:21:27,219 --> 00:21:30,687
but I did test drive
the hell out of her.
498
00:21:30,689 --> 00:21:34,457
Yeah, yeah, we know.
17 times.
499
00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:44,334
♪ Thinking, thinking
500
00:21:44,336 --> 00:21:45,969
♪ thinking hard
501
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:48,972
♪ I know what the answer is,
I got it ♪
502
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:51,809
♪ no, that can't be,
I'm so wrong ♪
503
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:55,345
♪ I guessed mao,
but it's b.D. Wong ♪
504
00:21:55,347 --> 00:21:56,814
♪ thinking, thinking
505
00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,148
♪ thinking hard
506
00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,616
♪ what's the use? ♪
507
00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:01,651
♪ I've burned
too many brain cells ♪
508
00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:04,487
♪ maybe I'll just fantasize ♪
509
00:22:04,489 --> 00:22:08,492
♪ look at Alex
and close my eyes ♪
510
00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:10,460
captioned by the national captioning
institute --www.Ncicap.Org--
35108
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