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1
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:12,710
Stan, what are you... It's Saturday.
2
00:00:12,712 --> 00:00:14,846
I thought your spin class was cancelled.
3
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,249
I don't know,
the alarm's got a mind of its own.
4
00:00:18,706 --> 00:00:19,851
Wait a second.
5
00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:23,988
Oh, my God, it's my peak day alarm.
6
00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:26,258
I set this years ago.
7
00:00:27,672 --> 00:00:28,860
Why, you ask?
8
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:32,130
It's all here,
in my vintage issue of Men's Health.
9
00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:34,999
Aside from correctly
predicting Zachery Ty Bryan's
10
00:00:35,001 --> 00:00:37,269
A-lister career, it has an article about
11
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:40,138
when a man hits the
scientific prime of his life,
12
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,073
his "peak," at the third month
13
00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:44,876
of his 42nd year. That's today.
14
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,279
What's it say about women?
When's my peak?
15
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:49,547
Oh, good Lord,
that would have been ages ago...
16
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:53,251
a-and stretching far into the future.
17
00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:59,624
Yes. Even my obvious lies
are at peak performance.
18
00:01:02,226 --> 00:01:04,696
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
19
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:08,500
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
20
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:11,503
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
21
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:16,074
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
22
00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:21,179
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
23
00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:23,982
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
24
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,016
Aah!
25
00:01:26,119 --> 00:01:29,654
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
26
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:35,927
Welcome back to "Morning Mimosa"
with Trish and Suze.
27
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,862
It's time to call some of the men
28
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:40,665
who ghosted Trish after one date.
29
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:44,068
First up on the list is a
humorless little schmuck
30
00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:46,604
named Suckboi Tony.
31
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:47,672
Hey.
32
00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,073
- Come on.
- What the [BLEEP]
33
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:52,010
It's time for a thrilling
Stan-nouncement.
34
00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:55,279
Today,
I have officially hit "peak Stan."
35
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:58,883
Everything at this moment in
my life is hitting its stride.
36
00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:01,953
I've got it all...
wonderful wife, great kids,
37
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,888
fridge in the garage.
38
00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:06,024
A blend of faculties and experience
39
00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:08,360
that are in total sync.
40
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,028
Cool, Dad, great.
41
00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:12,330
Speak up, my boy,
can't hear you up at the peak.
42
00:02:12,334 --> 00:02:14,098
Can we put the TV back on?
43
00:02:14,159 --> 00:02:15,163
Hayley, is that you?
44
00:02:15,224 --> 00:02:17,301
Wind's whippin' like a mother up here.
45
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:20,038
Be careful, Stan,
as they're constantly saying
46
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,505
on the series "The Crown,"
47
00:02:21,507 --> 00:02:24,809
"heavy is the head
that wears the crown."
48
00:02:24,818 --> 00:02:25,824
What are you talking about?
49
00:02:25,825 --> 00:02:28,980
I think he's saying that when
you're on top of the mountain,
50
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,115
people are gonna try to knock you off.
51
00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:32,717
- Right, Klaus?
- Right.
52
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:36,588
Man, you always get me, Francine.
53
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,122
Meet me in the kitchen.
54
00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:39,591
You may be right.
55
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,993
At the peak, I'm most exposed.
56
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:45,263
But also at the peak,
I can see my enemies coming...
57
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:46,464
in every direction.
58
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:49,333
I can also see them not
able to handle the altitude.
59
00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:51,203
Should've hired a sherpa, haters.
60
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,471
Come on, honey,
let's go to the grocery store.
61
00:02:53,473 --> 00:02:54,939
I want you to see what it's like
62
00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:58,210
when a man at his peak buys baked beans.
63
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:06,284
So, Roger, if you need pointers
on how to maximize free samples
64
00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:09,621
without these crummy farmers
giving you crap, just ask.
65
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,489
We do this a lot.
66
00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:13,090
I like to grab a sample,
67
00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:15,360
take a little lap, come back and pretend
68
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,294
I'm a different talking fish.
69
00:03:17,296 --> 00:03:19,430
That was my tip. I told you that.
70
00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:21,499
No you didn't. My oma taught me that
71
00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:24,169
when I was a young ski
jumper in Düsseldorf...
72
00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:26,171
Are you [BLEEP] with me right now?
73
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:28,239
How did I end up in this grouping?
74
00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:30,708
Feel like I got put
on the practice squad.
75
00:03:30,774 --> 00:03:31,987
Whoa.
76
00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:34,780
Four bucks for one apple?
77
00:03:34,809 --> 00:03:36,514
That's robbery, I'll give two.
78
00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:38,516
They're $4. We have samples if you...
79
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:40,451
No, no, no, no, no,
I'm not trying anything.
80
00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:42,787
I am in control of this negotiation.
81
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:43,921
Take the sample.
82
00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:46,057
- What is he doing?
- Is it even good?
83
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,392
The best you'll ever have.
84
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,460
See, now you've overplayed your hand
85
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:51,128
and just lost a customer.
86
00:03:51,130 --> 00:03:52,664
I'm walking away.
87
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,799
Adios, señor.
88
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:56,986
Still got any of those apples?
89
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:01,006
Sucker. That's a fiver.
90
00:04:01,639 --> 00:04:03,341
This is gonna be amazing.
91
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:06,011
People forget,
but apples can go toe-to-toe
92
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,745
with any fruit out there.
93
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:11,016
Well, not peaches, plums, pears,
pomegranates, pineapples...
94
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:13,618
and those are just the "p's"...
but a good apple is good.
95
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,888
What are you waiting for?
Get to munchin', bro.
96
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:19,490
Oh, no, I paid out
the ass for this thing.
97
00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:21,226
The setting must be perfect.
98
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,228
Every single bite has to be savored.
99
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,030
My hands are empty.
Why are my hands empty?
100
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:27,098
I dropped the apple.
When did I drop the apple?
101
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,333
There it goes.
102
00:04:30,402 --> 00:04:32,103
Aah!
103
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,772
It went into that tiny... sinkhole.
104
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,241
I know.
105
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:38,376
I thought for sure it
would go into that one.
106
00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:45,182
Say, "pe-e-e-e-eak."
107
00:04:46,005 --> 00:04:47,118
I'm ready now.
108
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,721
I'm thinking about a prime filet.
109
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,056
You offering any discounts?
110
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,657
I've hit my peak, see.
111
00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:53,991
Congrats there, friend.
112
00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:55,927
Guess it's all downhill from here.
113
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,398
Wait. Wait. Wait, what do you mean?
114
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,133
Don't you get it, I'm at my peak.
115
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,536
Sure, but once you've gone
all the way up,
116
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:07,138
- there's nowhere to go but, uh...
- Farther up?
117
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,775
Uh, how about a dry-aged steak?
118
00:05:09,859 --> 00:05:10,862
Dry?
119
00:05:10,907 --> 00:05:12,209
Aged?
120
00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:13,545
Is that what I look like to you?
121
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:16,081
Hey. I couldn't help but notice you,
122
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,149
and I had to ask.
123
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,684
What's your number?
124
00:05:20,008 --> 00:05:21,218
Oh, Tom.
125
00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:23,354
Hey, are you hitting on my wife?
126
00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:26,291
I was just joking about
what number she was in line.
127
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:30,628
Tom, your horniness is a
problem for our business.
128
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:34,099
Everybody's coming for me.
They smell blood in the water.
129
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,167
You're reading way too much into this.
130
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,435
Oh, this is rich.
131
00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:40,037
Even the flier guy thinks I'm weak.
132
00:05:40,039 --> 00:05:42,941
Stan, they're on every car.
133
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,510
I'm not weak!
134
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,312
Alright, update on the peak.
135
00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:49,514
My enemies think I'm on the downslope.
136
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:52,717
And thank you for warning me.
Your loyalty will be rewarded.
137
00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:54,185
We were just teasing, Stan.
138
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,320
I wasn't even listening.
139
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:56,988
Don't take this the wrong way, Dad,
140
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,856
but other people don't
spend a lot of time
141
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:01,258
- thinking about your life.
- Maybe.
142
00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:03,528
But lemme bounce an idea back at you.
143
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:04,796
I am Tom Brady.
144
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,200
People are jealous and
dying to see me lose.
145
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:13,070
But, like Tom,
I'm starting an anti-aging regimen.
146
00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:14,405
Goop lotions and serums,
147
00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:16,207
removing nightshades from my diet,
148
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,743
and daily brain training,
like the crossword.
149
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:20,946
I don't know any of these.
150
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:22,213
Point is, with this regimen,
151
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:25,082
I can take my peak and turn it into
152
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:26,183
a mesa.
153
00:06:26,185 --> 00:06:28,486
Flat greatness. Forever.
154
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:32,023
Stan, I think you're going
about this all wrong.
155
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:33,090
And honestly?
156
00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:34,559
Being pretty narcissistic.
157
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,962
Narcissistic?
I'm thinking about other people
158
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:38,597
and how they think of me.
159
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,034
Huh, him again.
160
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:51,309
Hmm, my curiosity is piqued.
161
00:06:51,998 --> 00:06:53,178
Hi, there, Stan.
162
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:54,445
I'm Dr. Revánche.
163
00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:55,453
Like I said to the tech,
164
00:06:55,495 --> 00:06:57,248
I don't want to do
anything crazy, just...
165
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,583
Freeze the peak.
166
00:06:58,585 --> 00:06:59,985
You came to the right place.
167
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,586
Look what I can do.
168
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:06,123
Damn, son, bring a bucket and mop.
169
00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:07,659
Am I right?
170
00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:10,195
But if I can be serious,
this is moving fast.
171
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:12,998
Maybe a tiny bit of botox
to freshen up instead?
172
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,201
Of course. Let's start small.
173
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,337
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
174
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:21,406
That's the needle you use for botox?
175
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:24,009
This is the needle I
use for heart paralysis.
176
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:25,610
I'm a bad guy.
177
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:29,014
Oh, that's... honest, at least.
178
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:41,626
Hello, Stan.
179
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:47,632
Aah! What did you do to me?!
180
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,300
Stan, don't worry.
181
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,037
You're going to love your new face.
182
00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:54,572
Although,
your old one is pretty nice, too.
183
00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:56,708
You were right,
184
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,710
someone was coming for you.
185
00:07:58,712 --> 00:07:59,745
It was me.
186
00:07:59,794 --> 00:08:02,313
I started with your face, but trust me,
187
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,581
it doesn't end there.
188
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:06,718
I'm gonna take your whole life.
189
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:14,392
Aah! Oh, my God, this is crazy.
190
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:18,396
And what is going on with my voice?
191
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:21,799
Oh, I also switched out
your larynx with that guy's.
192
00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:22,867
And I love it.
193
00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:26,304
♪ Good morning, alleywa-a-a-a-a-y ♪
194
00:08:29,963 --> 00:08:31,409
My beautiful face.
195
00:08:31,430 --> 00:08:33,210
My beautiful voice.
196
00:08:33,212 --> 00:08:35,146
That doctor changed everything.
197
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:36,748
Oh, my God.
198
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:37,949
I guess it's the same.
199
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:41,686
Oh, my God,
what are you even going on about?
200
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,288
Sorry, I was talking to myself.
201
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:44,555
So was I.
202
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:47,125
Not everything revolves around you.
203
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:51,562
No. No. Lose the hat.
204
00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:53,565
You're right, it's too much.
205
00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:59,437
Okay. We are a family at the table.
206
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:01,439
- It is time for a meal.
- Uh-huh.
207
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:02,840
- Yeah.
- Good summary, Dad.
208
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,442
What's going on with your voice?
209
00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:06,844
It's peaking, along with the rest of me.
210
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:08,513
It's like a second puberty.
211
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:10,782
There's a second puberty?
212
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,450
Oh, no.
213
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:15,153
Got you.
214
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:17,522
I said that way too soon.
215
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:19,324
Stay where you are. I said, "got you."
216
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,192
- Cop tackle!
- Lemme go.
217
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,327
Who is that?
218
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:23,728
And why are they here?
219
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,197
I asked them to stake out the house.
220
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:28,065
I noticed this man following me,
221
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:32,603
and was afraid he might
come for my home and family.
222
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:34,405
Lies. He's not who you think he is.
223
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,475
He stole my face and my voice.
224
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:39,010
I'm Stan, not him.
225
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,678
How do you explain this, then?
226
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,079
Can't fake that.
227
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,548
You gotta believe me.
228
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:45,616
I just went to the doctor to get botox,
229
00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:48,486
you know, to preserve my peak,
and maybe some lip filler...
230
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,388
I'll give ya some lip filler.
231
00:09:50,409 --> 00:09:51,823
He said lip.
232
00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:53,291
Why didn't you punch him in the mouth?
233
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:54,826
Oh, duh, of course.
234
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:57,428
Hey buddy, say that sweet,
sweet set-up line again.
235
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,364
C'mon. If we retrace my steps,
236
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:00,766
I can show you how he did it all.
237
00:10:00,839 --> 00:10:02,397
Blammo.
238
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,569
Okay, let's go.
239
00:10:05,032 --> 00:10:07,238
I don't think it's coming back.
240
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,573
Let's just get another apple.
241
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:11,176
No, that was a once-in-a-lifetime deal.
242
00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:12,844
I'm eating that apple.
243
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,111
You can't fit in there.
244
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:16,381
Sure I can.
Been in a weight-loss contest
245
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:18,783
with college friends,
so I'm slim right now.
246
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,385
Slacked off bad the first week,
247
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:22,720
got chicken carbonara from
Domino's like 11 times,
248
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:25,523
but this week I've only had coffee.
249
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:28,860
Okay, it's tight, but not so bad.
250
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:32,730
Oh, no, oh, no, I'm stuck, I'm stuck.
251
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:35,901
Pull me out, pull me out!
I don't wanna do this anymore!
252
00:10:40,087 --> 00:10:42,139
- Dude.
- I lied.
253
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,541
I had four clif bars
254
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,877
and a tub of strawberry
frosting this morning.
255
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,414
He made it.
256
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:52,217
Hi. Okay, it's way down there.
I'll be back.
257
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:54,419
If you don't hear from me
in a week, um...
258
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:56,554
Ya know what? Just give up.
Move on with your lives.
259
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:58,423
We'll all be fine.
260
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:02,293
Just ahead is Dr. Revánche's office.
261
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,029
You'll see where that monster duped me
262
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:07,365
and drugged me and set his
twisted plan in motion.
263
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,034
Buddy, it's empty.
264
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,202
I don't get it. Just yesterday this was
265
00:11:11,245 --> 00:11:13,038
a fully-functioning doctor's office.
266
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:16,041
I mean, his receptionist,
Susan, sat right there.
267
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,775
She had a gruff exterior,
but she really went
268
00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:19,577
to bat for me with my insurance company.
269
00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:22,447
Real Stan,
why are we indulging this guy?
270
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:24,515
We're trying to appease a crazy person
271
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,584
because he knows where we live.
272
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,453
- Plus, it's funny, right?
- I know.
273
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:30,655
He put his ads everywhere
on my drive to work.
274
00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:33,658
I'll show you.
275
00:11:34,231 --> 00:11:36,728
I swear, he had like five ads in a row.
276
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,730
He couldn't have gotten rid of them all.
277
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:43,869
Sir, you've peeled these ads
all the way back
278
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,136
to old Hollywood.
279
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,239
Oh, wait, the flier on my windshield.
280
00:11:47,298 --> 00:11:48,803
Follow me.
281
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:52,578
I tossed it down here.
282
00:11:52,622 --> 00:11:53,631
Is this it?
283
00:11:53,686 --> 00:11:54,980
No, just a lotto ticket.
284
00:11:54,987 --> 00:11:57,148
Ooh, someone left a box unscratched.
285
00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,683
Nope, that was just bird shit.
286
00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,151
Can we just arrest this clown?
287
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:03,154
Say, this guy's clearly
going through something.
288
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,891
Ya know... maybe I can just
talk some sense into him.
289
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,303
I speak clown.
290
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,695
Why are you doing this?
291
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:12,630
You don't remember me, do you?
292
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:14,766
Let me freshen your memory.
293
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:20,371
Many years ago,
I placed a bid on my dream home,
294
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:22,974
but I had competition.
295
00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:26,563
You.
296
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:30,515
So the sellers asked each
of us to write a letter
297
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,049
to help them decide.
298
00:12:32,051 --> 00:12:36,053
I put my heart and soul into that letter
299
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:39,390
but you must have put more
because you got the house.
300
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:40,792
And at the time,
301
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:44,796
I still believed the
world was a fair place.
302
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:46,731
Later on, I ran into the sellers,
303
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:51,669
who informed me that they
only received one letter.
304
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:54,205
Look familiar?
305
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:55,473
"I like house.
306
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:56,942
Want to live there bad.
307
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,610
Other guy seems like douche."
308
00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,678
This is good. How come
you didn't get the house?
309
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,013
That was the letter you wrote!
310
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,348
I don't know how you did it,
311
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,350
but I know you made my letter disappear.
312
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:07,285
Good instincts.
313
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,619
It was definitely me.
314
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,756
I took it and made a clean getaway.
315
00:13:10,815 --> 00:13:13,759
After that, I was enraged.
316
00:13:13,817 --> 00:13:16,027
I became consumed.
317
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:19,497
My wife couldn't dedicate
herself to a life of revenge,
318
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,298
so I ended it.
319
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:25,971
And soon I discovered
your weakness... vanity.
320
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:29,574
So I planted the peak
day idea in your head
321
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:32,577
and led you into my arms...
322
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:33,979
After med school,
323
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:35,981
a plastic surgery
residency in North Dakota,
324
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,849
and a couple years keeping
my [BLEEP] sister's
325
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:40,785
sandwich shop afloat in Woodstock.
326
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:43,989
And now I have what's rightfully mine...
327
00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:49,194
the house and the family I
never got the chance to start.
328
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:54,732
A security camera.
329
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:55,867
That'll prove everything.
330
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,369
I can't get through to this guy.
331
00:13:57,393 --> 00:13:58,880
Arrest him.
332
00:14:03,421 --> 00:14:04,676
We'll never catch him.
333
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,544
He had a crazy head start.
334
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,413
He probably ran track.
335
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:11,616
And now I have what's rightfully mine...
336
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:16,621
The house and the family I
never got the chance to start.
337
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:18,824
See? Told you it was me, old friend.
338
00:14:18,875 --> 00:14:20,826
Oh, my God, you are you.
339
00:14:20,856 --> 00:14:22,627
You look good, Stan.
340
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:24,429
Get a bucket and a mop.
341
00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,497
The voice is sexy, too.
342
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:28,834
Say "banana."
343
00:14:28,836 --> 00:14:31,703
No. Stop making eyes at me and listen.
344
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:32,714
I've been in hell.
345
00:14:32,766 --> 00:14:34,639
But you can save my soul.
346
00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,974
You're the linchpin to my whole plan.
347
00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:39,244
Oh, I'm a great linchpin.
348
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:43,981
Reliable, strong, sexy,
charming when I need to be.
349
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:46,784
Ooh, and if your plan involves walking,
350
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:49,120
I got a great new set of sneakers.
351
00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:51,589
Comfortable, good price, brown.
352
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,791
Oh, and they got
the longest laces, Stan.
353
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:56,194
Shhhh. Less, Tuttle.
354
00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:58,563
Got ya.
355
00:15:00,736 --> 00:15:02,133
Got it.
356
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:03,535
Oh. Lost it.
357
00:15:03,537 --> 00:15:04,836
Got it.
358
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:08,139
Nope. Got it. Got it, yes.
359
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:10,322
Can't hardly see a thing in here.
360
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:14,713
An orange? Ech. I don't want this.
361
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:17,916
Feel like I shoulda thrown the orange.
362
00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:25,022
As you can see,
I've got some heat on me right now.
363
00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:28,293
So I need you to take this
tape and show my family
364
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:30,027
I am who I say I am.
365
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:31,696
I think I'm getting a blister.
366
00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:34,266
Maybe I should go home
and get a band-aid.
367
00:15:34,344 --> 00:15:36,968
Just go.
368
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:39,170
I'm starting to panic, Stan.
369
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,972
Stop turning around and talking to me.
370
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,908
Did that guy just step
out of the bushes?
371
00:15:42,910 --> 00:15:45,643
Yeah. And now he's talking to 'em.
372
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,845
You think we should check it out?
373
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:50,715
Nah, now he's crawling
back into the bushes.
374
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,717
Just a nature freak.
375
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:01,058
Oh, my God, he's got my family!
376
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:03,728
Looks like the Smiths
are going on vacation.
377
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,530
Let's check the scanner.
378
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,332
Officer Blatt, Caruso,
where have you been?
379
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,134
Officer down at Sixth Street and av...
380
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:12,403
Ugh, it's always bad news with that guy.
381
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:13,972
Tell me about it.
382
00:16:14,063 --> 00:16:15,740
Let's go get some ice cream.
383
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:23,848
They're still gone.
384
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:26,390
We need to look for clues
to where he might be going.
385
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,586
Is this something?
386
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,721
Uch, yes, that's an iPad.
387
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:33,124
I mean this.
388
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,225
Oh, my God.
389
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:35,860
Why would he do this to her?
390
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:38,797
He's going to do surgeries on them.
391
00:16:38,799 --> 00:16:40,799
That godless mons... Actually,
392
00:16:40,801 --> 00:16:42,601
Steve might be able to pull this off.
393
00:16:42,603 --> 00:16:43,802
No, must find them.
394
00:16:43,804 --> 00:16:45,870
Okay, Stan, I'll go get my car.
395
00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:48,272
Quiet. Let me think. Where?
396
00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:51,876
I remember him testing the tools.
397
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:54,479
There was a bird...
398
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,747
...and a bridge.
399
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:58,349
A rickety wooden bridge.
400
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,418
Tuttle, where is the closest
rickety wooden bridge?
401
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,888
Uh, there's a pretty solid
one over at the library.
402
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:06,157
Rickety. Rickety for chrissakes.
403
00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:08,827
Oh! There's one
at the Japanese tea garden.
404
00:17:08,829 --> 00:17:11,896
Yes! You're a genius.
405
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:13,898
You absolute fool.
406
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,234
This is not it.
407
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:18,637
I think... ah...
It's not a bridge... ow...
408
00:17:18,639 --> 00:17:21,506
But there's a rickety
dock at the Marina.
409
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:23,574
The bridge was a dock.
410
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,376
The bird was a seagull.
411
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,312
Yes, I was on a boat.
412
00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:28,779
That also explains this barnacle
413
00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:31,183
that's been stuck on me for days.
Let's go.
414
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,789
He must have them on one of these boats.
415
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:41,893
Some kind of, I dunno, surgery boat?
416
00:17:41,989 --> 00:17:43,261
Do you know which one?
417
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,530
It could literally be any of these.
418
00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:48,066
♪ Surgery boat, surgery boat ♪
419
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:51,202
♪ Cuttin'
up faces on a surgery boat ♪
420
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:55,340
♪ It's the eighth row over,
and the third boat do-o-o-o-wn ♪
421
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,075
Look, we're never gonna find
'em if we stand around
422
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:58,343
listening to this guy sing.
423
00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,679
Let's split up and check
the boats one by one.
424
00:18:00,681 --> 00:18:02,280
Go.
425
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:06,817
Mmm.
426
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,819
Okay, who wants to go first?
427
00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:10,488
Please, no.
428
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,423
Please, sir, have mercy.
429
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,760
I'll go. Always get the
first appointment of the day,
430
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,428
when the doctor's fresh.
431
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,763
Life hack for you kids.
432
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:22,367
Stop. You guys have to believe me.
433
00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:24,635
That's not the Stan you know.
434
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,905
Uh, yeah, we've pretty much
figured that out by now.
435
00:18:26,907 --> 00:18:29,840
Ugh, will you please
just leave me alone?
436
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,042
Listen up, Doc.
437
00:18:31,044 --> 00:18:32,911
I'm only gonna say this once...
438
00:18:32,913 --> 00:18:34,312
Fix my son's cheekbones,
439
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,915
then get the hell away from my family.
440
00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:38,783
Tell him, Dad. Wai... wuh?
441
00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:40,985
Looking at you now,
442
00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:43,822
I see that you need a little touch-up.
443
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,459
Nurse, scalpel.
444
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,328
- Still tied up over here.
- Right.
445
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:53,864
I don't care how
obsessed you are with me,
446
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,800
you can't have my family.
447
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,135
You don't get it.
448
00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:59,938
I don't want to have your family.
449
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:01,406
I want to ruin them,
450
00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:03,909
just like you ruined my whole life.
451
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,288
Watch the face. Watch the face.
452
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:19,758
Obviously, it's mine.
453
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,827
How dare you try to change my family.
454
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,430
Let me tell you, as a plastic surgeon,
455
00:19:25,432 --> 00:19:28,233
your family is far from perfect.
456
00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:29,300
You bitch.
457
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:31,836
Maybe they're not perfect to you,
458
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,705
but I love them all as they are...
459
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:36,041
medium-looking.
460
00:19:36,043 --> 00:19:40,712
Except my wife, she's a [BLEEP] fox!
461
00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:51,256
Time to face the music.
462
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:55,060
I'm so sorry.
463
00:19:55,062 --> 00:19:57,396
When I said I love and
accept you as you are,
464
00:19:57,398 --> 00:19:59,864
I realized maybe that's
what I've been worried about
465
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,065
this whole time.
466
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:03,001
That once I'm past my peak
467
00:20:03,003 --> 00:20:05,203
you might not love and accept me.
468
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:07,872
- Just untie us.
- Hold on, I'm not quite done.
469
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:11,876
I realize now, though,
you'll never give up on me.
470
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,612
On good ol' Stan.
471
00:20:13,614 --> 00:20:15,680
- Uch, take it off.
- Jee-zuss.
472
00:20:16,251 --> 00:20:18,850
Get a bucket and a mop.
473
00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:22,687
Whew! Glad that's over.
474
00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:24,355
Wait, is it over?
475
00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:26,625
Hopefully Dr. Kalgary
can squeeze me in today.
476
00:20:26,627 --> 00:20:27,826
Although, I do like carrying around
477
00:20:27,828 --> 00:20:30,561
this big 'ole flappy face.
478
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:31,762
Stan.
479
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,999
Come on, I'm kissing your ass.
480
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,235
Someone stop that apple.
481
00:20:38,194 --> 00:20:41,506
- Roger?
- Whoa, look at your face, dude.
482
00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:42,975
What happened to you?
483
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:45,510
Hey.
484
00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:46,912
That's a $4 apple.
485
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,988
What am I doing?
I'll just go buy another one.
486
00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:00,258
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
487
00:21:02,326 --> 00:21:04,079
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
34844
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