All language subtitles for Dawsons Creek S06E08 Spiderwebs 1080p NF WEB-DL DDP5 1 x264-alfaHD (1)_track3_[eng]

So let me get this straight,
Pacey and audrey broke up,

But joey and audrey
Are fighting.

Yes, majorly.

Dawson, you've got
To call more often.

Hold on a second, ok?

The guy has obviously
Been really busy, ok?

I mean...

She's--she's--
She's exaggerating,

'cause nobody's broken
Any nails yet.

It's more like they're

Keeping their distance
From each other.

Thank you.

No problem.

You know, I'm sure that

If we could get them
In the same room,

They would work
Things out just fine.

Joey and audrey?

No, pacey and audrey.
Duh.

Here we go.

Uh, no--
Sorry about that.

What about
You, love?

Can I get
You anything?

Uh, no, thanks.
I can't stay that long.

Oh.

Oh, yeah,
Let me guess. Uh...

She's not working tonight,

If that's what
You're asking.

Yeah, why don't you stay
And have a cheeseburger?

Come on, dawson,
We never get
To see you anymore.

Really, I have to go.

Dawson.

I can't, I swear.
I got to get back.

Todd thinks I'm running
An errand right now,

Which, technically...

I am.
What is this?

It's a present.

Oh, you feel so bad
'cause you don't call,

You got to give
Us presents.

Just open it.
It's not a guilt offering.

I'd use it myself
If I could.

Oh, my god!

These are tickets
To the no doubt concert.

Dawson, this is amazing.

There's like
10 tickets in here.

Are you sure
That this is ok?

Absolutely.
Todd got them for free.

I think he knows
The band or something.

You know what?
Why don't you just, uh--

Don't give the man
A chance to change
His mind there, all right?

Anyway, go, enjoy it.
Have fun.

And, uh, let me know
What happens once you get

Pacey and audrey
In the same place
At the same time.

Thank you so much.

Thanks, man.

Hey.

I'm sorry.
I was just, uh--

Oh, don't apologize.
Um...Are they--

Yeah, they're back there.
Jack and jen...

Oh, good. I was hoping
For some company.

How have you been?

Great.

Really great.
I've been busy.

Great.

Heard you and audrey
Had a fight.

Yeah...

Those things happen,
I guess.

People fight.

All right, well,
I don't want to keep you.

Dawson, they're
Your friends, too.

Yeah, I know.

I just--I got to go.

It's nice seeing you.

You, too.

No doubt?
Yeah.

Look, I know it's
Kind of a schlep
To worcester,

But they're totally
Amazing live,

And you do
Have a car.

Worcester?

Yeah, it's only like
An hour from here.

I know, I know.
So on our date tonight,

You want me to drive
You to worcester?

Correct.

And when we get there,

All your friends
Will be there.

Well,
Not all of them...

Ok, most.

So how is that a date?

What makes it a date
Is that I'm there...

And you're there.

And if you play
Your cards right,

You might just get
A kiss at the end
Of the evening.

A kiss?

Yeah, that's usually
How the whole
First-date thing

Traditionally shakes out.

You know,
You walk me
To my door,

You kiss me,
You leave.

But I've already
Gotten a kiss.

2, actually.

And I don't know
That I'm prepared

To drive all the way
To worcester for, what?

For the possibility of some
Measly little good-night kiss?

There is another
Option on offer

For the end
Of the evening.

Yes?

You walk me
To my door,

We shake hands,

And I reimburse you
For gas money.

Nice.

So are you in or out?

I'm in.

Is it just me,

Or, uh, is there
Something weird
About this day?

Um, the fact that
We finished all our
Day work before lunch,

And now we're just
Paying all these people

To stand around doing nothing
Until the sun sets?

Oh, there isn't
Someplace you'd
Rather be, is there?

No, but look around.

Everybody's exhausted,
Including yourself.

All these night shoots
Have finally caught up
With us.

Oh, I see.

So you're saying I should
Give up 2 night exteriors
I really need

So the crew can knock off
4 hours early on a friday?

4 hours, 35 minutes,
Would be even better.

There's a bloody pool going?

Big one.

Think about it.

I mean, honestly,

You wrap
Early tonight,

Everybody comes in
Monday completely
Refreshed.

Everyone, including you?

Sure.

And natasha?
Sure.

I get it.

So all this
Friend-to-the-crew stuff

Was just an excuse
To get the night off

So you could take her
To that concert?

I'll split
The money with you.

Not necessary.
I already won 500

In the when-will-
Dawson-and-natasha-start-
Shagging-again pool.

Here.
What are these?

My tickets.

They're much better than
The ones I gave you.

And I think there's some
Backstage pass in there, too.

You don't want to go?

Between you and me?

I'm old...

And tired,

And if we're going to wrap
4 hours and 35 minutes early,

All I want to do is go home
And get some sleep.

Go get 'em, tiger.

So, you're coming, right?
I mean, if the band can

Overcome their complicated
Romantic entanglements
And still be friends,

The least that we can do
Is all get along for one night.

All right, I am
Willing to grant

That there is a certain
Karmic appropriateness

To seeing one's
Ex-boyfriend

For the first time at
A no doubt concert.

You're bending.

I'm not bending.

Oh, come on,
You know you want to.

Empowered female.
Incredible fashion sense.

I suppose mojo jojo
Will be attending.

Oh, come on,
If you can--

If you can be with her in that
Tiny little dorm room of yours,

You're going to be
Just fine in a crowd
Of 14,000 strangers.

So she's bringing
That guy, right?

Mm-hmm,

But we don't have
To sit next to them.

We're using the gays
As a barrier

Between the breeders
And the bitter, single girls.

So, what?

Are they, like,
Dating now?

Look at you.

You want the gossip
So bad it's killing you.

I don't want the gossip.
I just...I don't know--

I want to hear that
She has a pimple or something.

I want there to be
One tiny little chink
In her armor of perfection.

I mean, has that girl
Ever made a mistake? Ever?

Yeah, actually,

The same one
That you did.

She dumped pacey.

That's funny.

You know, the way
I always heard it,
He dumped her.

Oh, whatever.

Who knows? Who cares?

Honestly,
The important thing is

Is that they're
Still friends...

Like us.

Do you mean that?

Yes, I do.

So you coming?

I'm coming.
Yay!

I'm so glad.

You are not going
To regret this.

We are going to have
An incredible night.

Oh, my god.
I am so sorry.

Hi. Hi.

Hi.
Hey.

I'm sorry, I was just...

Not looking
Where I was going.

Yeah, you seemed
Pretty excited there.

Yeah, well, we're
Actually going to
A no doubt concert tonight.

Cool.

Well, have fun.

Well, see 'ya.

Look, I don't want
To pretend that nothing
Happened between us, and...

And I also don't
Want to make a big deal
Out of the...

Nothing that did
Happen between us. Um...

Here, if you want to come.

You're giving me
A ticket to the no doubt
Concert?

Yeah, I mean,
Jack's going, and david,

And all of us, really,

So it's--it's not like a date.

No, I didn't
Think it was.

Great. Great.

Well, um...

Like I said,
Come if you want.

All right,
I'm picking you up
At 7:00. No bailing, ok?

So, were you ever going
To call me back?

I think that the answer
To that

Would be
Fairly obvious.

You know, we didn't
Do anything wrong.

No, of course not.
We were great, you know?

And we'll probably
Win some sort of award
For moral fortitude

And the proper use
Of birth control.

I don't see what
The big deal is here.

It's not like she's
My girlfriend, ok?

Yeah? Well, neither am I.

I'm just...

I'm an idiot.

Oh, so, what?

You're just going
To pretend like
Nothing ever happened?

Yes,

And unless you want
Me to kill you,

You will, too.

Tickets.

Disgusting, isn't it?

When people can't keep
Their hands off each other?

Yeah.

Just, uh, yeah.

Tickets.

Tickets, please.

I have them. I do.

I must have them.

That's what they all say.

No. I was leaving,

I put them in
My coat pocket, and...

I wore my other coat.

A fashion tragedy. Next.

Crap!
Tickets.

Ok, but are you sure
You didn't leave them
In the car or something?

Yes, I'm positive.
They're...

They're in my other coat,

Which is sitting on my bed
Back in my dorm room.

Well, don't panic
Or anything.

We'll just
Go back for them.

You're volunteering
To drive more?

Hey, you're
Paying for gas.

No, it'll take us an hour
Just to walk back to the car.

So?

So with that,
Plus traffic,

They'll be on
Their third encore

By the time we get back.

What do you want to do?

You just want to forget
About this whole thing?

No.

I don't know.

Look, you really want
To go to this concert,
Don't you?

Yes.

I'm a dorky fan, I admit it,
But I love this band.

Then we're going.

Eddie, it's going
To take us--

Silence...

Before I come
To my senses
And change my mind.

Come on.

Are you guys
Going or what?

Sorry. So tacky
When people can't
Keep their hands

Off each other
In public.

Sorry.
Tickets, please.

Here you go.

Wrong night, romeo.

Excuse me?
These are for saturday.

No, they can't be.
These are--crap.

Good seats, too.

Really would have
Impressed your
Girlfriend here.

Next!

I can't believe I did this.

This is--I--

I should have known better
Than to trust todd.

The guy probably thinks
Today is saturday.

We still have
The backstage passes
Though, don't we?

Yeah, but we can't
Get in with those.
We need the tickets.

Uh, hold on.

Humor me.

I have special skills
In that department.

You're not going
To regret this, I swear.

You're here,
You're not in a suit.

This is good.
This is very, very good.

Where is everybody else?

They're at
The concession stand.

Jack and emma,
And, uh...

The guy
And the guy's friend.

Yeah, well,
His name is david,

Which you might
Want to remember.

I think
He's going to stick.

What, you posses
The psychic ability

To see into the future
Of relationships now?

Yes, just not my own.

Ah.

So where are
These seats anyway?

Is that where
We're going now?

Yeah.

They're--

They're that way.

I mean, they're in that
General direction.

Cool.
Ok, um...

And when you go in that
General direction...

Yes?

There's--there's going
To be somebody there

Who wants
To talk to you.

Oh, come on.

You did not
Just do this to me.

Yeah, we did,
But out of love.

Trust me, when you
Look back on this event
In a few years,

You're going to be
Very grateful,

Because you will have
Done the mature thing.

Come on.

Go. You know
You want to.

Excuse me.

Surprise.

Hey.

I did call you, you know.

I know.

At least I figured that
I shouldn't talk to you

Until I hated you
A little less.

Oh, well...

How's that going for you?

It's going, yeah.

The problem is now
I kind of hate myself,
But, uh...

Audrey,
Can we go talk a walk?

Maybe talk someplace
That's a little quieter

And slightly more private
Before all the madness starts?

You really are
An old man, aren't you?

Sure.

Ok.

Excuse us.

Look, I'm telling you,

I'm not trying
To sneak backstage, ok?

I'm not some kind of
Deranged fan.

I just need to talk
To someone who works here.

Is it me?
No, very funny, though.

Good-bye.

No, I just need to talk
To someone for--

Just to let you
Know, we can stop
This at any point.

But it's going so well.

Oh, I can see that.

Look, you don't
Have to harass
Some poor guy

Just to impress me.

This whole thing is
My fault, anyway.

Believe me, if this works,
You will not be impressed.

Hey, more people.
This is good.

Uh, this is good.
I'm gonna go ask them--

Oh, no.
No, you're not!

Ok, this is
Totally gonna work,

But you have to trust me.
It'll work better

If you pretend you're like
My brother or something.

You did not
Just do that.

Do you want to get
Into this thing or not?

I'd be perfectly happy
If we went right back
To the car--

Hey!
It's our night off.
We're going.

Hi.

Not that I care--

Shh! He'll see us.

Who?

That's the guy
From the movie set.

Yes.

And the guy
From the movie set

Is the friend
Who gave you the tickets.

Yeah, kind of.

And now we're hiding.
Why?

I don't know.
Gut instinct.

This is ridiculous.

Come on.
Just wait till--

No, no, come on,
Come on!

Yeah, if, uh...

That's tonight's list,
We should be on it.

Carr, todd carr,
Damage, inc.

Big video director.

You know, you guys
Probably spelled
His name with a "K."

As much as it pains me
To tell you this, lady,

If you're not the list,
You're not on the list.

Well, isn't there
Some other list?

Not tonight
There's not.

Oh, well, maybe
They messed up

And put us
On tomorrow's list.

I mean, that could happen,
That's possible right?

I mean, why else
Would we have
These backstage passes?

Not my problem.

Well--ugh!

Can't we work
This out?

Afraid not.

I didn't know
Audrey was involved
With anybody.

Well,
They just broke up,

Which is why I think
She's been so crazy
Recently.

I think that
She's just having
A hard time dealing.

Yeah, things like
That can be tough.

You want anything?
No, I'm fine.

Just one coke,
Thanks.

You know,
To be honest,

She seemed kind of
Single to me.

Why, cause of that
Night at that party?

Yeah, that,
And other things.

You know, she just
Got confused.

It happens to
The best of us.

Yeah, it does.

You know, for two people
Who aren't seeing each other,

We end up alone
An awful lot of the time.

Yeah, you know,
I've been thinking

Maybe we should
Talk about that.

No, I don't--
I don't think that
That is necessary.

No,
'cause I feel bad,

And I don't want
To end up
Feeling worse.

I mean, obviously,
You have the wrong
Impression of me.

No. No, I mean,
There was no room
For ambiguity

When you refused
To kiss me, so--

Ok, ok, hold on.
I don't want you
To think that I'm

Playing games with
You or something.

Because you're not?

No, I'm not.
I'm actually...

Interested in somebody else.

Oh.

I see,
So, all that stuff

About not being
Ready to date...

Just applied to me.

No, jen,
I meant all that.

I did. I'm not ready
To be serious
With somebody.

This other girl...

Kind of took me
By surprise.

It just kind of
Happened. I mean,

We were at the wrong
Place at the wrong time,
Things escalated.

Did you sleep
With this girl?

Wow, so,
Sleeping with people

Doesn't violate
Your moral code,

But dating them does.

Jen, let me explain
Something to you--

No, you have.
Really well, too.

And for
Future reference,

When things escalate
With a girl,

That generally means
That she's
Interested in you.

Yeah, except
When she's kind of
Messed up,

Already has
A boyfriend.

Jen, I think
You're great.

I think you're
A great person.

You're obviously
A very good friend

To audrey,
To everybody.

What...

What does audrey have...

Oh, my god. It was audrey.

You slept with audrey.

It's not
What you think,
All right, she--

I messed up.

So, thank you

For the t-shirt.

Well, it is
The least I can do

For acting
Like a swine.

You weren't a swine.
You were just...

A guy.

I'd like to think
That I get graded

On a different curve
Than that.

Perhaps the human being one.

It's not your responsibility
To make me happy, pacey.

It's mine.

Well, let's be honest.
You haven't been doing

Such a bang-up job of
That lately, audrey.

I miss you, ok?

I miss you, too.

And honestly,
I don't know
How much more

Of this being down
On yourself stuff
I can take.

Yeah, well, what are
You gonna do about it?

I'm just gonna have
To make you feel
Better, aren't I?

By force,
If necessary.

Aah! Pacey,
No rough-housing
In public!

Who's the old man
Now, huh?

Seriously,
We might be lost.

I think we should've
Left like a trail
Of popcorn or something.

We can't be lost.
It's an arena.

Speaking of,
There's jen. Jen!

Jen!

Hey. So,
Is it starting?

Yeah, almost.

Well, excellent.
Let's get in there,

Because I personally
Do not want to miss

A single solitary
Second of...

No doubt.
It's on the t-shirt.

Right.
No doubt it is.
So, let's go.

You know, would you mind
Going in ahead,

And audrey and I
Are just gonna
Have a little chat?

Yeah, absolutely.
Girl time. I'll
See you in there.

What?

I just wanted
To tell you
That I know

About what happened
With you and c.J.

Jen...

I didn't know that
You liked him so much.

Like, I thought
That you did, but I--

I don't want
To talk about this.

I just wanted
To let you know
That I know.

Jen, no, seriously, wait.

Let's--let's do
Talk about it.

I don't know, yell at me,
Do something, just--

I deserve it.
It was a mistake.

I'm sorry.
It was a big mistake.

Yeah,
It was a mistake.

So, then yell at me.

I don't want to
Yell at you.

I don't
Have it in me
To yell at you.

You know, I've been
Holding back lately

Because I actually
Had some sympathy
For you.

I thought, "Audrey--
She's just confused.

She's just messed
Up," but you're not.

You're just sad.

Wouldn't now be
A good time to admit
That we're lost?

We're not lost.

Eddie, we seem
To be moving away
From the music.

Oh, so what you're saying
Is you don't trust me.

Well, is there
A reason I should?

Have you doneanything to demonstrate

That you're
In the least
Trustworthy?

Wow. Trust issues.

I guess we are learning

A few things about
Each other tonight, huh?

You mean
You're learning
Things about me.

Ok, wait here.

Oh, no, you're not
Leaving me alone
In this place.

I'm pretty sure
Freddy krueger's
Second home

Is right around
The corner.

2 seconds, ok?
2 seconds, I swear.

I'm sorry, jo,
But you're
Just gonna have to

Trust me on this one.

Fine.

Ok.

Ok. We're all set.

So you gonna
Tell me what's
Going on now?

Ok, you kids
Ready to go?

Uh, yeah.

Joey, this is my dad.
Dad, joey.

Yeah. It's--
It's nice to meet you.

You, too.

What?

Nothing.

So how does this
Whole scalping thing
Work exactly?

I don't know. I figured
If I stood here long enough

With $600 in my hand,
Somebody would
Come up to us

And mutter "Tickets"
Under their breath.

Heh!

Well, I'm cold.

Where'd you get all
That cash, anyway?

What, just because
I'm a glorified p.A.,

You think I can't afford
To take my girlfriend

To town every
Once in a while?

Oh, my god.
You won the pool,
Didn't you?

Well...

No, wait.
You fixed the pool.

You're a lot
Craftier than people
Give you credit for.

You know, I'm
Starting to think

You had
The right idea

When you suggestedbailing on this event.

Are you making me
An offer I can't refuse,

Or are you just cold?

Um, both.

Plus, dating's
For shmucks,

And what we're doing
Is much more fun.

What, sneaking around
At work?

I thought
You liked sneaking
Around at work.

Oh, I do, but we're
Not fooling anybody.

Sure we are. We're
Fooling ourselves,

Which is
What makes it all

So incredibly
Dangerous.

And sexy.

And fun.

Oh, my god,
It's black beauty.

Hey, boy!

You kids have any
Reason to be here,

Other than
The obvious one?

Uh, no, sir.

Well, yeah,
Actually, we do.

We thought we had--
Well, we did have
Tickets but--

But you sold them?

No, we didn't--
We didn't sell them.

It turned--they were
For tomorrow,

But we got the dates
Messed up.

And that explains
Why you're carrying

Such a large amount
Of cash on you?

Excuse me?

You have several
Hundred dollars
There, son.

No--yeah, I do,
But it's--

It's not for that,
It's for the--

Me. It's for me.

He was trying
To short me,

And I told him,
"No way.

"No way am I gonna
Do you in this
Parking lot

For a penny less
Than $600."

What's this, some kind
Of game to you, miss?

No, it's not.
That's not what she--

Look, I can--
I can explain this,
Really, I can.

And you will
At the station.

I need a check-by
In the southwest
Corner, over.

You're arresting us?

No, I'm taking
You with me.

If she says one more word,
I'm arresting you.

Cool! Let's go.

Bye, horsey!

Come here.

Go away!

I need to talk
To you.

Well, I don't want
To talk to you.
Don't you get that?

It was a mistake,
A gigantic mistake.

Why didn't you tell me
You had a boyfriend?

Just leave him
Out of this, ok?

No, come here,
Come here.

C.J.
Come here.

C.J., stop!

Yeah, well, he's
In this, whether
You like it or not.

Well, you know what?
He's not!

He has nothing
To do with it.

Ok, and the reason
You came home with
Me the other night

Is because you're
So overwhelmingly
Happy with him.

Ugh!

I'm sorry. I'm not
Trying to mess
With your head here.

I just--I like you,
Audrey,

And you're
The only reason
I came here tonight.

Well, then I guess
That was your
First mistake.

I know things
Are complicated,

But you gotta
Understand

That I haven't felt
Like toward someone
In a long time.

No, it's been
A long time
Since you had sex,

And you're incredibly
Grateful because you're
Incredibly messed up,

Which should've been
Obvious from the second
Jen met you,

Because generally,
People who are into
Helping other people

Are about 10,000 times
More messed up

Than the people
They're helping.

You know what?
You're probably
Right.

But that doesn't
Change the fact
That I like you.

You have got to
Stop this.

I am sure that
Under there somewhere

There is a nice guy,
And you are obviously

Just trying
To help me out,

But what happened
Between us, it's just--

It's the way
That the world works, ok?

Pretty much
All the time,
Girls run around

And feel bad
About themselves.

They're either too weak
Or too stupid to go home alone.

So, sometimes guys
Just win the lottery.

That's it. It doesn't
Mean anything.

Hey, you've been
Gone a year.
What's going on?

Nothing. I'm sorry.

You guys--you guys
Having a problem out here?

No. We barely
Know each other.

Yeah, right.

Excuse me?

Nothing. I just think
If you took care

Of your girlfriend
A little bit better--

If I did what?

Nothing. He said nothing.
Go away, c.J.

You really want me
To leave you alone
With this guy

That makes you
So miserable?

Yes. Now.

Is this a joke?
Did he really just
Say that to me?

C.J., please,
If what you said
Was true about me,

About the other night,
Then you will just
Leave, walk away.

Wait. What about
The other night?

And if I don't?

C.J., leave, now!

You really think
You're gonna be
Happier with him

Than you obviously
Were with me?

You guys!

Come on, break it up,
Break it up.

Come on,
Break it up.

Your dad seems nice.

He said four words
To you,

And he thinks
Your name is josie.

I don't mind.

He is...Nice.

You know,
He works hard,

Puts food
On the table,

Doesn't cheat
On my mom, solid,

Steady,
Always around.

Sounds more like
The second coming.

Yeah. Yeah, he's just

Not too big on
The encouragement front.

Not real into
Higher education.

And that explains
Why you didn't go
To college.

Oh, I went
To college.

You did?

Yeah. Yeah,
One semester.
Dropped out.

Things have to
Happen to you

At the exact right
Time in your life,

Or they're
Meaningless.

Meaningless?

Yeah. Like this.

Like right now.

I mean, this could've
Happened yesterday

And been meaningless.

But it's not, is it?

No, it isn't.

You just had to get us
Kicked out, didn't you?

Couldn't possibly
Have waited till
After the acoustical set?

Feel free
To go back any time,

Because you're really
Not needed here.

Well, I did figure
I might decrease the odds

Of another one in your group
Either having sex

Or possibly beating
Each other to a pulp.

You don't think
I had the right
To punch that guy?

She's not your
Girlfriend anymore, mate!

Not that it would make it ok
Even if she were.

He took advantage
Of her!

He saw that she was
Messed up

And he preyed on her,

Which in my books
Makes him one notch
Below pond scum.

Right, right,
Must be that,

Because women are
Such helpless idiots

They couldn't possibly
Make an informed decision

About who they sleep
With, could they?

I know audrey.
This is not her.

I cannot believe
She would sleep
With that guy.

Is it so difficult

For you just to admit
That she hurt you?

Or that you might feel
A little guilty

About the way things
Ended, or that possibly,

Despite all your
Protestations to the contrary,

That you still want to
Save this girl?

Of course,
It's difficult.

It just is.

Would you
Quit squirming?

You're lucky I'm even
Talking to you right now.

This is bringing you
A great deal of
Satisfaction, isn't it?

No, actually, it's not.

You're not thinking
To yourself right now

That I deserve this?

No. You and audrey
Are both adults,

And I am not gonna
Sit here and apply

Some ridiculous
Double standard
To the situation,

Just because my feelings
Got a little bit hurt.

I'm sorry about that.
I wish that hadn't
Happened.

Yeah, I know.

You know, all that stuff
That you've been saying

Is finally starting
To sink in,

All that stuff that
You've been telling me
About yourself,

And I guess
That if it's true,

Then it probably
Really sucks
To be you right now

Because no matter
How nominally together

You think you are,
If your fondest desire

Is to start hanging out
With audrey,

Then chances are,
It's not gonna
Stay that way.

And you know what?
If I ever got it
Into my head

To do what you do,
You know,
To help people,

I would be a hell of
A lot better at it

Than you are.

So you really
Don't mind
Taking audrey home?

Well, sure, I mind,

But, you know,
My inner drama queen
Respects her refusal

To come out
Of the bathroom

Till jen
And pacey leave.

Heh heh heh!
Thanks, man.

I just don't want to
Ditch jen, you know.

I mean, I don't
Think this evening
Turned out

Quite the way
She planned.

Hmm. Yeah.
I know the feeling.

So, we're, uh,
Not doing too well
At this, are we?

Well, the hanging out
Has been good.

But the dating?

I think it's safe to say

That when two gay guys
Go on a date,

And each ends up
Going home
With a hot blond girl,

Something's definitely
Not working.

Yeah.

Quick, make a break
For it before he comes!

I can't--you are

Still not taking
This seriously.

We didn't get arrested.
They just gave us
A warning.

They gave us
One phone call.

Ohh! They were
Having fun, like us.

Oh, come on!
This entire evening
Has been fun,

From start to finish,
And you know it.

Yes,
This has been fun.

I'm starting
To think you might
Be insane, but--

But what? You haven't
Ever gone out with
An insane person before?

No, I have, just...
Not in a good way.

Mmm.

Ok, shagwits,
To the car!

Let's go!
Chop, bloody chop!

Or am I gonna have to throw
Cold water on you both?

I think he's mad.

Real mad.

For the record,

Never let it be said

That todd carr is a man
Who's not in love

With being in love.

I think both my movies
And my life

Reflect my deep
And abiding commitment

To getting two good-looking
Young people together

And having a bit of fun
Now and again.

However...

As leery here
Bloody well knows...

You're also a man
Who's in love
With sleep.

To the car. Now.

To the car.

Heh heh heh!

So...This is it?

Yeah.

End of the night.

Yeah.

Heh heh.

Heh heh!

So you never
Did tell me
What yours is like.

My dad?

Yeah.

Well, come on.
I showed you mine.

Mmph. Let's just

Call him the opposite
And leave it at that.

Opposite.

As in not solid,
Not hard-working.

Um...

He's a big fan of
Cheating on my mom.

Um, he's definitely
Not the type

To do some back-breaking
Job for 25 years

When there's easy money
To be made

In the less law-abiding
Sectors of the economy.

You make him sound
Like a criminal.

Well, that's what
The district attorneys
Call him.

Hmph. I still
Think of him as dad.

Wow.

Well, you know,
He must've done
Something right.

Why? 'cause I turned out
So well?

What, you think
Being entombed

In these hallowed
Halls equals
Turning out well?

Well, it's a start,
Isn't it?

I'm gonna have to do
More work on you
Than I thought.

You think there's
Something wrong
With these hallowed halls?

No. Not if you're here
For the right reason.

Well, my dad...

When he actually
Was around

Was very good on
The encouragement part

In that "Dream-big,
Little-girl,

You-can-be-anything
You-want-to-be"
Sort of way.

I see.

And what is it
You want to be,
Little girl?

Hmph!

I don't know.

Guess I'm
A work in progress.

Good night.