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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,679
Comms. This is DS Haines from
Bristol and Avon, I'm looking for
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00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:07,880
information on an alias known as
The Dean. I'll call you back.
3
00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:13,679
What was you thinking? She was
thinking how she can save our lives.
4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,159
By promising we'll pay every penny
back in eight weeks,
5
00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:18,679
with interest, washed and folded?
That can't be done!
6
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:22,639
But you...you're a drug dealer,
you're rich, aren't you?
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00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:25,759
Shut up! You don't know me.
Look around.
8
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,639
My crib is a garage at
the end of my mum's garden.
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00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:31,079
You have things. Your TV,
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00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:33,399
those trainers,
you could sell your car.
11
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,559
"Hello, Mr Dean,
here's a second-hand Range,
12
00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:39,239
"and a flatscreen TV. We good?"
13
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,759
And I got a family to provide for.
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00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,599
What I earn goes on my fam.
15
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:46,919
Six is a lot of mouths to feed.
And are you forgetting
16
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,679
the feds nailed me for making you do
my Community Service?
17
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:52,559
If they send me to pen,
and we ain't paid,
18
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:56,079
The Dean will have his people inside
do me a ting, straight.
19
00:00:56,080 --> 00:01:00,920
You didn't save our necks,
you put 'em in a noose.
20
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:06,279
Maybe I can ask my parents for help.
They rockin' that kind of money?
21
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:09,279
No. But, I don't know,
maybe they can raise it.
22
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,639
If we get them involved,
we make them complicit.
23
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,279
Do you have a better idea, then?
24
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,959
Yeah. We go to the feds.
25
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:18,959
Man ain't makin' no deal with
the feds.
26
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:22,199
What choice do we have?
We lay it out there.
27
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,119
We tell the feds,
and let them protect us.
28
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:29,079
Man ain't snitchin'! It's better
than digging your own shallow grave.
29
00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:32,039
He's right. I have the number of
a policewoman we could call,
30
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:35,160
and then we can just finish this.
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00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,719
Haines. Hi, this is Rani Rekowski.
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00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,599
Rani. How are you?
33
00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,239
Well, that's why I'm calling.
34
00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:04,439
OK.
35
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:08,280
I just had something important
I needed to tell you.
36
00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:14,240
But I'm not sure I should be telling
you on the phone.
37
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:17,600
What's this about?
38
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,199
Rani? Are you still there?
39
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,840
Can you give me a second, please?
40
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:35,320
Hello? Rani,
what did you want to tell me?
41
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:41,079
I wanted to tell you that
I'm completing my payback hours,
42
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:44,759
and I'm staying out of trouble,
keeping my head down.
43
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,639
Glad to hear it.
44
00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:48,720
OK. Thanks. Bye.
45
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,559
Rani? Comms. You're enquiring about
The Dean?
46
00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:04,719
Yes. Yes, I was. That information's
classified,
47
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:07,399
you don't have clearance.
Clearance?
48
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,480
Thank you for your enquiry.
49
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,639
Say something!
50
00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:02,599
I say we don't pay,
call his bluff, boom.
51
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,279
He knows where we live,
52
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,959
and my family, and Ben's sister.
"Boom!"
53
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,079
He's already threatened
to hurt them.
54
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:10,279
Same if we go to the police.
55
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,119
Look, we have eight weeks.
56
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,599
You three have to get
the money back.
57
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,039
I've told you, we've spent it!
On what?
58
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,959
The Bristol Justice Collective.
59
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,839
Still don't understand what it is
revolutionaries actually need,
60
00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:24,599
by the way, apart from berets
and some twat on a guitar.
61
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,759
A new website, new minibus,
new staff, new offices.
62
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,439
15 types of milk, probably.
63
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,439
Oh, right, and what did you spend
yours on?
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00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,319
I put mine into my business,
as you well know.
65
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:37,119
The one you that just got fired
from? Great save!
66
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:39,039
What did you spend your cut
on, Frank?
67
00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,639
My daughter's mortgage.
It was killing her. I had to help.
68
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,199
So you haven't helped her in
40 years,
69
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,679
but you couldn't wait eight more
weeks to grow a conscience?
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00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,519
You guys are just going to save
71
00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,040
yourselves and let our loved ones
die?
72
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:54,559
Christian Taylor.
73
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,879
What about him?
74
00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,399
If he has to do jail time,
for making Ben do CS,
75
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,759
he won't be around
to run his drug operation.
76
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:06,919
We are not becoming drug dealers.
Absolutely not!
77
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,399
I've done some grifts in my time
but not that.
78
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,839
Tell me it isn't a good way
to make big money fast!
79
00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:13,199
Rani!
80
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,159
It's eight weeks
and then it's over. Why not?
81
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,679
Because drugs have ruined
the lives of everyone I've loved.
82
00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:21,119
No-one is dealing drugs, OK?
83
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,919
Jeez, I'll get another
loan...somehow.
84
00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:27,239
I'll have to ask Margie for
the money back...somehow.
85
00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,640
I'll see...I'll see what I can do.
86
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,960
Sir, you wanted to see us?
87
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:40,399
How many times have you called
Comms today? I haven't.
88
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,039
You? About five or six times.
89
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:46,039
Well, which, is it - five or six?
Six?
90
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,479
12 times. You've been red-flagged.
91
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:51,519
Red-flagged? For pestering them
about someone called The Dean,
92
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,959
even though you've been repeatedly
told to stand down.
93
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,520
Now stand down.
94
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,600
With respect, sir,
why am I being stonewalled?
95
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,999
You are treading on
Scotland Yard's size tens.
96
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,519
The Dean is London, big-time,
tied to international syndicates.
97
00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:17,999
For two years the Met have been
tracking him, building a case.
98
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,679
So why haven't they arrested
him, then?
99
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:20,999
He's got good tradecraft.
100
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,479
Never handles product
or money directly,
101
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,519
impossible to pin him
with anything. We can help.
102
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:27,999
He's running county lines into
Bristol.
103
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,479
If that were the case,
the Met would know about it.
104
00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,799
Would they, if The Dean's so
careful?
105
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,399
And it's not like they share intel
with us, so we wouldn't know.
106
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,279
What have you got?
107
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:41,119
The Dean has a local foot soldier
called Christian Taylor.
108
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,799
Taylor's about to do time for
violating probation. My hunch is,
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00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,879
if we can flip him,
he could give us The Dean.
110
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:50,359
But my hunch is that you're
ambitious and think that if you can
111
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,079
nail someone the Met can't, that's
your ticket out of Bristol.
112
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,999
I won't apologise
for being ambitious, sir,
113
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,679
but if we do land
The Dean, that's national news,
114
00:06:58,680 --> 00:06:59,959
and we all take a bow.
115
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:02,559
If your snooping blows
London's case,
116
00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:07,079
we'll spend the rest of our days
shooing seagulls off Bristol Docks.
117
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,759
Is that how you see your future?
118
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,000
I stand by my partner, sir.
119
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:15,239
Just to confirm, are you telling us
to stand down, sir?
120
00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,360
I'm telling you tread carefully.
121
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:30,359
I hope you know what you're doing,
I hate seagulls.
122
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,200
They're like rats with wings.
123
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,160
Hmm.
124
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,039
Are you going to talk about it?
125
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:54,879
Hmm? Last night, you walked out on
our dinner party.
126
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,799
Yeah, sorry.
I had to...pop back to the office.
127
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:01,560
At ten o'clock? Will you...?
Stop doing that, look at me.
128
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:06,199
What is going on with you?
129
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:10,959
I...I realised, you know I've been
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00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:15,119
working this job for 19 years?
131
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,359
19 years. I mean,
Christ, when I first started,
132
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,919
personal assistants were still
called secretaries,
133
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,359
you know? You could still ask 'em
to make you a cup of tea
134
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,679
and not wind up in a tribunal.
19 years.
135
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,279
I mean,
136
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:29,839
that is a lot of dress-down Fridays
137
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,679
and signing birthday cards.
138
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,759
And that's why,
139
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,919
yesterday, we decided
that...I need a change.
140
00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:43,800
"We? Dad and I, yeah.
We talked it through, and, erm...
141
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:48,079
..I'm getting a new job.
I'm going to get a different job.
142
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:49,679
A job that's for me.
143
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:51,879
What job? I don't know yet.
144
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,239
I've got feelers out
145
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,799
and I am excited
for this new chapter. Buzzing!
146
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,199
You didn't think you ought
to discuss this with me?
147
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:02,119
I AM discussing it with you, I'm
discussing it with you right now.
148
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,799
This is going to impact
us financially. No.
149
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,439
School fees... No. ..the ski trip.
150
00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:10,519
No. Listen, because I am going to
take my 19 years
151
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,839
of management experience
152
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:14,439
and I will breeze into another job.
153
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,759
John, did your father fire you?
154
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:21,199
What? No. That's ludicrous.
You can tell me if he did.
155
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,320
I would. He didn't. It was...mutual.
156
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:29,199
Listen, I'm doing this,
I'm doing something for me.
157
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,359
For us, OK? I mean,
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00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:35,559
I thought you'd be happy for me.
159
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:37,479
You know I'm happy if you are.
160
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,959
Well, I'm happy.
161
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,600
So we're both happy.
162
00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:01,119
What are you doing?
I've decided to give up booze.
163
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,559
But that's my booze and I haven't.
164
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:05,279
Greg, while I'm living here
I can't have any temptation around,
165
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,480
which is why...
166
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:10,959
..I need you to hide this for me.
167
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,199
What is this, flour?
You going gluten-free as well?
168
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:16,599
That's cocaine. Cocaine?
What, did you buy the family size?
169
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:19,279
Look, just hide it, OK?
And whatever I say to you,
170
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:23,079
do not give it to me - no matter how
much I beg you, don't give in, OK?
171
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,199
OK. Did you speak to my agent?
172
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,639
I did.
173
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,279
And does she have a job for me?
174
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,719
No. Nothing?
No adverts or sponsorship?
175
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:35,039
Greg, I need some money, you told me
that I was going bankrupt.
176
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,279
I know but you're seen as unreliable
since you called that soda machine
177
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,199
the C word. It WAS a cunt!
178
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,319
Other products don't want to be
associated with you. I'm edgy.
179
00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:46,039
No, you're toxic. Toxic's cool.
180
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,319
It used to be, but now celebrities
need to seem nice.
181
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,680
You've got to show empathy
and cellulite.
182
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,879
And also, some people are saying...
183
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,079
What? ..that you've got anger
issues.
184
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,639
Who's saying that?
I'll kill the fuckers!
185
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,879
There's also the substance abuse.
Which I am working on.
186
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,559
Look, just give me my coke back.
You told me not to. That was before.
187
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:07,199
Now I need a bump. Give it to me.
No, you said, whatever you say
188
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,799
to me, don't let you have it.
189
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,519
Give me the bag, you speccy twat.
Give it to me!
190
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,679
Argh! Argh!
This is not the real you speaking.
191
00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:18,239
Yes, it is, you rake with a face!
Not the tickling!
192
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,399
Give it to me.
193
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,279
Don't, and I'll get you a job.
You said no-one would employ me.
194
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,999
Give me 24 hours and I'll find
you something.
195
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,360
Yeah? Come on, please, stay strong.
196
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,639
Sorry for calling you
a bug-eyed beanpole.
197
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,679
Well, it was "speccy twat"
and "rake with a face".
198
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:39,600
Either way, I'm sorry.
199
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:50,800
I need a drink. Sorry.
200
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,999
Can I have a word?
201
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,199
Remember when you asked me where
the cash for all of this came from?
202
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,239
I thought it was our mystery donor?
203
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,159
Yeah, well if I tell you who it is,
204
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:13,039
then you can't tell anyone.
It's Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe.
205
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,559
That posh woman who's always falling
out of nightclubs?
206
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:18,879
All right, keep your voice down.
Why is she interested in the BJC?
207
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,759
I thought her kind were only
interested in bottle service
208
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:26,279
and lip filler. Well, she deeply
respects me and my organisation
209
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:30,039
and she wanted to make
a sizeable donation to support it.
210
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,440
I misjudged her.
Yes, you did.
211
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,599
But now she needs all
the money back. What?
212
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,799
You know what the landed gentry are
like - fickle.
213
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,599
We've spent the money.
214
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,319
Well, we'll have to un-spend it.
215
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,319
We've got a year's lease on this
place. Full-time staff on payroll.
216
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:49,719
You're saying it like it's my fault.
We all voted for those things.
217
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:52,519
Because you promised you could keep
us financially independent.
218
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,359
That's why we turned down
a council grant.
219
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,799
Yeah, and you're going to
need to go to the council
220
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,639
and say that we want the grant after
all. That ship's sailed, Myrna.
221
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:02,639
Well, we can still get
the money back, can't we?
222
00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:07,119
We can, erm, we could sell the
minibus and those ergonomic chairs.
223
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,959
Stop bouncing, please.
224
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:12,359
And I always said we don't need
the Reiki guy full-time.
225
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,879
Myrna, those are just the things
you can see.
226
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,999
We would have to liquidate
the organisation to get
227
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:20,080
the money back.
The BJC will cease to exist.
228
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,199
Dad, we're in here!
229
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:35,000
Margie,
we need to discuss something.
230
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,079
You paid off the mortgage.
231
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,079
Ta-da!
232
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,799
As of this morning.
And there was money left. There was?
233
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,039
So I set up a college fund
for the kids.
234
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,560
Do the kids even want to go
to college? I do.
235
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:56,399
It's Johnnie Walker Red.
That's your tipple, isn't it?
236
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,359
Mum's made your favourite,
too, meatloaf.
237
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:03,319
Well, it's sort of shepherd's pie
that I've squeezed into a loaf.
238
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,519
It's the thought that counts.
239
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:09,079
Well, it's the deed that counts,
too. Thank you so much, Dad.
240
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,400
It's the least I can do.
241
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:16,559
What was it you that you want to
discuss?
242
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:17,800
Nothing urgent.
243
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:29,639
MUZAK PLAYS THEN STOPS
244
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:33,479
Mr Halloran? Yeah. Hello, yes.
Hello? I'm here. Hello?
245
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:37,559
Can I confirm, you said you're not
currently employed - is that right?
246
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:42,759
I am currently in-between jobs,
yeah, but, as I said,
247
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:46,159
I have 19 years
of management experience
248
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,639
and I'm confident that I will find
fresh employment very soon.
249
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,799
Yes. I've checked with my
supervisor,
250
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:57,039
but we can't grant you a loan.
I'm sorry.
251
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,639
Why not? You have no employment,
252
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:01,519
you're heavily mortgaged on
your assets
253
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:05,240
so we just can't proceed.
I'm sorry.
254
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,879
Do you remember when banks like
yours went tits-up in 2008
255
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,839
and it was taxpayers like me that
bailed you out?
256
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,920
No, sir, I was only six years old.
257
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,399
Well, it's absurd, you know,
258
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,759
it's absurd that
I'm standing here today
259
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:25,079
and a businessman like me can't get
260
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,279
a loan from your bank!
But if this were 2007,
261
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:33,479
and I was an unemployed single
mother with three kids
262
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:34,879
and a crack addiction, I'd have
263
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,720
walked out of your place with a
mortgage and a fucking balloon!
264
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,760
Is there anything else
I can help you with today, sir?
265
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:53,359
Like she said,
266
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,880
we're only in it for eight weeks
and then we're done.
267
00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:00,359
Men like this guy from
London exploit local kids,
268
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:05,239
I know that, but I'll get
to know those kids,
269
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:08,320
and then, when this is over,
I can help them.
270
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:19,479
If I don't do this, people will get
hurt. If I dissolve the BJC,
271
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,519
the community will get hurt.
272
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,439
40 years' work
wiped out like that.
273
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:29,200
And I will have killed a man...
274
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:35,440
..for what? Your whole life,
my life...
275
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,040
..for nothing.
276
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:55,640
If we did do what you suggested,
how would it work?
277
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,639
What?
278
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:00,719
The plan you suggested.
279
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:04,639
I don't know. We'd meet with Taylor,
find out how he operates.
280
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,119
Eight weeks, right?
281
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:09,839
We just do what is necessary
and then we're out.
282
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,159
And absolutely no violence.
283
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,720
Of course. Thank you.
284
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,039
We're not doing it.
285
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,599
Do you all know what drugs have done
to my mum?
286
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,359
I understand how you feel.
No, you don't. You don't,
287
00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:26,799
or you wouldn't have suggested it
in the first place.
288
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,599
I wish I didn't have to, but...
You have no idea.
289
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,999
My whole life, you have no idea
what I've had to do
290
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,959
to stop from going down that path.
What option do we have?
291
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,879
We make as much money as we can in
eight weeks then we walk away.
292
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:41,559
A brief, terrible episode
in all our lives.
293
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:46,359
I'd never do anything
to hurt you, but The Dean will.
294
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:50,959
I'm scared. I'm really scared.
295
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,720
And I don't want to die.
296
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:03,359
All right. So we raise the funds.
297
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:05,279
How do we launder it?
298
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:12,719
Guess who's back.
299
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,479
Oh, it's not fucking Beryl, is it?
300
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,279
Aye. Oh, I hate that old bitch.
301
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,359
Greg, listen, mate, we need you.
302
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:21,959
I'm not doing any more
money laundering.
303
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,919
I got really stressed last time
and my eczema broke out.
304
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,519
I was scratching my groin
so much I got thrown out of Nando's.
305
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,399
High pockets,
we're all friends here,
306
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,999
and that's why nobody wants
to remind you about
307
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:36,039
a certain cupboard
of chaos which, if exposed,
308
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:40,199
would leave you up shit creek
with your dick in your hand.
309
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,599
Ah, well, actually, my dick's
310
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,759
already up shit creek in someone
else's hand.
311
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:44,959
What does that mean?
312
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,919
It means a bloke I work with called
Spencer Fitzwilliam already found
313
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,519
my cupboard of chaos and has been
blackmailing me with it
314
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,919
and making my life hell.
So join the queue.
315
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,639
Westside. Westside?
316
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:59,040
Leave it to me.
I can change his mind.
317
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,919
You take over? Is she serious?
318
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,679
We need to make money, fast.
You've a way of doing that
319
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:08,119
but who's going to run things
for you when you're in prison?
320
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:11,719
Not you. Then who?
Because Souljah's betrayed you,
321
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,239
Spider's out of action,
322
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,559
now your whole crew's just some
little boys on BMXs.
323
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,079
Whoa, whoa, wait.
324
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:18,919
We don't even know I'm set for
a stretch.
325
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,119
You said this lawyer
of yours is good, right?
326
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,359
I didn't say he was good,
I said he was free.
327
00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:24,959
Nah, I ain't handing you my line.
328
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:28,959
Why not? Because I don't trust you.
We're the only ones you CAN trust.
329
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:32,679
Have you ever heard the phrase "the
enemy of my enemy is my friend"?
330
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,479
Was it the same guy who said, "How
much wood would a woodchuck chuck"?
331
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:37,599
I spent my whole life trying
to stay out the game.
332
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,079
You think I want to be
a part of anything you do?
333
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:44,199
We're all in this together whether
we like it or not... Nah, G. You do
334
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:45,679
you, and I'll take care of myself.
335
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,919
Oh, really? Because last night, you
were this close to being dead
336
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,519
before I stepped up,
and if you don't start trusting me,
337
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,639
none of us are getting
out of this shit alive!
338
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,679
What do you even know about running
a line?
339
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,720
Nothing, but I'm a quick learner.
340
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,439
Swear down, you fuck me on this,
341
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:15,920
and I will Shawshank my way out of
pen so fast...
342
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:20,840
All right, what do you want to know?
343
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,879
Everything.
344
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,399
All right, listen,
345
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,719
cos I don't like repeating
myself. You know what this is?
346
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,959
That is a mobile phone.
347
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,919
Wrong. It's THE phone, the line.
348
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,359
Contains numbers
for all my customers.
349
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:40,719
So every day I ping out a message,
350
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:45,439
"Open for business all the time.
351
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:50,400
"For what you need, call the line".
352
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:55,559
Now what? We wait.
353
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:59,360
You making notes?
Yeah, it's just a lot to...
354
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:02,880
You keep everything up here.
355
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,479
Sorry.
356
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:13,120
Yo, what do you need? Where you at?
357
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:18,840
What are you wearing?
All right, soon come.
358
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,159
So you take the order
and then what?
359
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:26,799
Then - important, you use
a different phone
360
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,400
to call whatever runner you think
is closest.
361
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:36,639
Yo, Biggs. One bag of beans,
Elswick Rd.
362
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:42,480
The guy's wearing a navy-blue
tracksuit. You got that? All right.
363
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,599
And Bingo was his name, yo?
364
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,480
Could we meet some of the runners?
365
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,399
What's he doing here?
366
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,520
This is our business adviser.
367
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,479
There's some of my runners.
368
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,160
Jesus, they look barely out
of nappies.
369
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:40,999
I recognise that blonde girl.
370
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:45,599
She goes to school with my sister!
This is so wrong, man.
371
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,879
Don't judge. They're only doing it
372
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:51,039
to feed their families,
same as me.
373
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:55,760
What are you doing?
Never exit the vehicle. Basics.
374
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,759
Mm, basics.
375
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:04,319
OK, so how much does a runner get
paid?
376
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,199
About 80 quid.
377
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,399
Standard? For everybody?
378
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,799
Depends how much they sell.
Or, if they owe money,
379
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,600
it's set against that.
380
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:20,319
Yo, man pulled up.
Send 'em away and come here, innit?
381
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:24,199
What are we doing? We're doing what
we have to do. What is happening?
382
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,319
Oi, you lot. Piss off.
383
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,359
The boy who just left took the food,
384
00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:30,599
so if the feds are watching,
385
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,800
they can't link shit directly
to me.
386
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,159
What you saying, big man?
387
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:37,919
Wagwan, buddy, you all right, yeah?
388
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:39,880
Cash total.
389
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:42,560
OK.
390
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,879
Anyone complaining about
the quality of the food?
391
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:50,519
Nah, cuz.
392
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,079
OK, I think I can get
the business side of things down,
393
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,279
but that dialect, it's going to take
a bit of work.
394
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,679
Anyone watching you? Nah, man.
395
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,119
Anyone else selling? Nah.
396
00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:01,919
No trouble? Uh-uh. Nah?
397
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:03,080
Nah, man.
398
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,599
Four? There should be five!
399
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,319
Bruv, we sold 400.
400
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:12,999
Yo, big man...
401
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,759
..you know what happens if you start
lying to me, right?
402
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,159
Yeah, I do, bro, and I ain't lying.
403
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,319
Yeah?
404
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,840
In a bit.
405
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,440
What was that about?
406
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,039
Nothing.
407
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,519
You got to make 'em sweat every now
and then, innit?
408
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,440
And what if he HAD been lying?
409
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,000
Trust me, he knows better than that.
410
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,239
You've never seen Jaws?
411
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,759
No, I've never seen Jaws.
412
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,399
I have seen Jaws 2, 3 and 4, though.
413
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,599
Oh. Chap. Tide's out.
414
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,360
We take it in turns.
415
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,839
So how do you manage
staffing levels?
416
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:23,239
I only take on people when demand
is steady,
417
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,719
otherwise you're just paying for
employees when you don't need them.
418
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:30,119
Yeah? Good. Yeah,
I wish I'd done that.
419
00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:33,959
Got quite the business brain.
You pick it all up on the street?
420
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,680
Yeah. Oxford was full, innit?
421
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:42,039
So what have your net profits been
over the last three years?
422
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,519
I've been even at 200K.
423
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,119
But business isn't
growing, though,
424
00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:49,359
is it? You know, they say that
425
00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:51,879
a business that isn't progressing
is regressing.
426
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,199
That's the big mistake I made.
427
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:56,479
Yeah, I know that.
I need to mix it up, man.
428
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,679
Can't you move into other markets?
429
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:00,039
I can't just pick and drop my
430
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:01,999
runners off in another part of
Bristol.
431
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,959
That's where the problems start.
432
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:06,679
Well, you're definitely a natural.
433
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:10,839
You ever think about legitimate
work? I think you'd go places.
434
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,440
Is it safe?
435
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,559
What?
436
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,280
Is it safe?
437
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,119
Is what safe?
438
00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:46,639
Special Agent Robert Stack,
Federal Bureau of Investigation.
439
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:50,079
V funny, chap, but you're
a bit old to be a strip-o-gram.
440
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,279
How much are the lads
paying you?
441
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,679
Your name is Spencer Fitzwilliam.
442
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:58,120
You're a lawyer at
Northcott Marling, correct?
443
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:00,839
What's this about?
444
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,719
On three,
leave your wrap on the bench,
445
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:05,639
stand, and follow me.
446
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:09,599
One, two...three.
447
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,159
Can I see your badge again, mate?
448
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:15,159
We need to talk about
the biggest co-ordinated response
449
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,839
to international money laundering in
FBI history.
450
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,359
Money laundering?
451
00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:23,439
Keep your goddamn voice down.
Come on, chap, is this a joke?
452
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,759
Joke? See that guy?
That's my colleague,
453
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:27,119
Agent Jack Webb.
454
00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:31,199
He spent two years travelling across
four continents tracing corrupt
455
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:35,039
bankers and bogus accounts
with ties to organised crime.
456
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:38,519
Agent Webb missed his own
mother's funeral.
457
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,879
Ask Agent Webb if this is a joke.
458
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:42,479
What's this got to do with me?
459
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,559
Your firm has been compromised.
Are you clean?
460
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:48,679
Am I what? Are you clean?
461
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:53,079
Yeah, yeah, I'm clean. Then why are
you impeding our investigation?
462
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:54,599
I...I'm not.
463
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,119
We have the co-operation of
an informant in your office.
464
00:27:57,120 --> 00:28:00,439
He's been collating paperwork as
part of our evidence.
465
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,840
I believe that paperwork is now in
your possession.
466
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,479
Greg? Greg's a mole for the FBI?
467
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:10,519
Keep your goddamn voice down.
Never say that out loud again.
468
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:13,199
Who put you up to this?
Was it Grunter?
469
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,119
Or Nadger? I bet it was Nadger,
wasn't it?
470
00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:19,159
Sometime soon, law enforcement will
be walking into your place of work
471
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:22,679
and marching people out
in handcuffs!
472
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:27,280
Ask me again if I'm joking.
473
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:29,519
Where's the paperwork?
474
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,599
Yes, the... Do you speak English?
475
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:33,959
Yes...yes. Where's the paperwork?
It's in my car.
476
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,920
Easy. Let's go. OK.
477
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:39,799
Rita, knock, knock. Greg.
478
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,039
I wonder if I can have
a quick chat with you about
479
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:43,839
a hypothetical HR scenario?
480
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:47,159
Erm, I'm actually on my lunch hour
at the moment, Greg.
481
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:48,759
I can come back.
482
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:51,559
No, it's fine, HR's always open.
483
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,599
OK, thank you, thank you.
Come on in.
484
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,999
Erm... Do you mind just sitting down
there, please, Greg? Cos it's
485
00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:00,359
a bit - looming over me like a
ghost. Yeah, sorry.
486
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:04,879
Just wondering if, hypothetically,
a gentleman who works in
487
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,239
the office has had
conversations with
488
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,439
a woman who also works in
the office.
489
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:11,399
OK. Work conversations?
490
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:14,519
Sometimes work, you know,
but other just general chit-chat.
491
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:15,879
About what?
492
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:19,359
The weather, rambling in
the Peak District.
493
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:21,799
Roger Federer's thighs. Erm...
494
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,199
Where have these conversations
taken place, please?
495
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,839
Different places. Erm, lift,
496
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,039
kitchen, sometimes at the woman's
desk.
497
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:34,159
OK. Has the gentleman in question
perched on
498
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,079
the lady's desk at any point?
499
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:37,599
There might've been a perch.
500
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,760
Mm-hm? Just hop up there for me
a moment, would you, please?
501
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,599
Right. So you can see what's
happening here? Hmm?
502
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:50,039
What's happening? What's the lady's
having to look at when
503
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:52,719
the gentleman sits like that on
her desk.
504
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:56,000
The gentleman's groin is at
the lady's eye level.
505
00:29:56,920 --> 00:30:00,879
OK. Pop yourself back down,
please, Greg.
506
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,079
This is ringing
a lot of alarm bells.
507
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,679
Erm, is the gentleman superior to
the lady?
508
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,399
No, he's got very low self-esteem.
509
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,599
No, I mean in job title or rank.
510
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,079
Well, I think he's marginally
superior, I think.
511
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:15,320
Right. Yeah.
That will put him in the red zone.
512
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,199
And what is a red zone?
513
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:21,359
The red zone is where HR would have
to consider the man's position.
514
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:22,599
Oh, wow. Blimey.
515
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,399
Just to be totally clear,
hypothetically, the man
516
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,639
couldn't make any kind of overture
to the woman?
517
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:29,679
What, in the hope of
a sexual relationship?
518
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:31,599
Yes, please.
No, absolutely not, no.
519
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,679
So he couldn't, say, ask her out for
a drink or anything?
520
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:38,239
No, definitely not.
If this guy works here,
521
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:41,399
which it sounds like he does,
whoever he may be, then he would
522
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:45,119
have read our company policy on
sexual and romantic relationships.
523
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,879
What if he started reading that
and he found it heavy going,
524
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,239
so instead, he watched some golfing
bloopers on YouTube?
525
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:53,079
Well, then he won't know that even
consensual relationships between
526
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:57,039
colleagues can lead to disciplinary
action or dismissal.
527
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:58,520
Dismissal?
528
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:04,040
Hi, Greg, I'm grabbing a sandwich.
Do you want one? No!
529
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,519
This is all of it? Yeah.
530
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:13,919
I assume I don't
need to tell you that everything
531
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:16,039
I've said is confidential.
532
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,559
You don't even discuss it
with Greg Dillard.
533
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:21,439
You've got them now, so come on,
tell me, is this real, or what?
534
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:23,919
Stay in Greg Dillard's
good books, though,
535
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,399
cos when the shit hits the fan
536
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:29,599
and he starts pointing fingers,
537
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:33,999
you don't want him pointing at you.
538
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,839
Now you need to call me a cab.
539
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:42,400
Yes, yeah, of course.
Do you want an Uber XL or Lux?
540
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:46,920
Yeah, we'll go Lux.
A bit nicer for you.
541
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:50,959
Seven minutes.
542
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:52,919
I ain't pleading guilty, bro.
543
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,239
Then you'll do twice
the prison time. Listen, I got too
544
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:57,679
much stuff going on right now to be
sitting in a prison cell.
545
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,759
You violated your probation,
you're going down,
546
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:01,439
there's nothing I can do about that.
547
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,679
What I can do is reduce
the amount of time you do.
548
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:05,679
Tea? Can I make you one in a minute?
549
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,599
I'm just in the middle
of something.
550
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:10,399
Sorry, I'm asking,
would you like a cup of tea?
551
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:12,439
Yes, please.
Pleasure, chap. Would you like one?
552
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,080
Got any ginseng?
553
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:19,679
All right,
554
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:22,039
so how long am I looking at if
I plead not guilty?
555
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:24,119
A year, maybe two. But plead guilty,
556
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,119
I can get that down to
a few months. A few months?
557
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:30,159
What kind of waste man lawyer,
are you?
558
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:34,639
Bad news, no ginseng.
But I do have mint,
559
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:36,879
green, lapsang souchong,
560
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:40,560
oolong, or lemon ginger
and manuka honey.
561
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:43,439
Surprise me.
562
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,079
Biscuit? Biscuit?
563
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:46,239
I'll have a biscuit.
564
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:47,879
No, I'm good, bro.
565
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:49,840
One biscuit for Gregolas, my liege.
566
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:57,199
So what are you going to do?
567
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,879
High-pockets,
568
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,840
you were up shit creek
but I found you a paddle.
569
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:21,999
You got it back? Thank you, thank
you so much.
570
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,919
Comes with a few strings attached.
I knew it would, I knew it would,
571
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:27,519
when you presented it like a quiz
show. I'm not doing any more
572
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:30,359
money laundering, I told you that
already. I can't handle another
573
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,999
criminal conviction or another
flaky crotch, so do your worst.
574
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,680
I'd rather take my chances.
Fine! Here, take it.
575
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:41,519
But...say goodbye to Rani and Ben.
576
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:43,959
Why, you leaving early? Half day?
577
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,479
No, they're dead.
You just killed them.
578
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:47,919
What are you talking about?
579
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:49,519
This gangster up in London,
580
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:51,999
we need to repay back all his dough
and wash it,
581
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:55,599
or he's going to clip them
and everybody they care about.
582
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:58,919
Clip them? Who's this gangster -
Edward G Robinson?
583
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:02,199
We're behind the eight ball here.
We need your help. Is he serious?
584
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:03,799
Yeah.
585
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,799
I thought the money was spent?
We're going to earn it back.
586
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,639
How? Running Christian Taylor's
operation while he's inside.
587
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:12,239
Jesus Christ!
None of us want to be doing this.
588
00:34:12,240 --> 00:34:13,559
No.
589
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:15,880
We're in trouble, mate. Big trouble.
590
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,480
Good. OK.
591
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:37,439
All right, so his customer base
is loyal, but it's small.
592
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:40,319
If we're going to make anywhere near
the money we
593
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:43,519
need to make in the time we have,
we need to find new markets,
594
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:45,839
new customers, and we need to
do it quick.
595
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:47,999
How do we do that? Marketing.
596
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,119
Marketing? Yeah. We have to find
people who would buy drugs, and we
597
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:54,199
need to let them know that we are
here and we are open for business.
598
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:56,479
Oh, what, so we just put an advert
in Yellow Pages, yeah?
599
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:58,719
"Class A drugs available".
Oh, no, I tell you what,
600
00:34:58,720 --> 00:35:02,839
let's put, "Class AAA," and then
we'll go straight to the front.
601
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:04,879
Obviously, we can't run adverts.
602
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,159
How do companies normally
reach customers?
603
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:10,199
Direct marketing.
But that involves mailing lists,
604
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:12,879
names, numbers, email addresses.
605
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:14,719
BJC must have a mailing list.
606
00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:17,759
No. No way are we targeting
my people.
607
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:20,359
Well, you know, you leftie
hypocrites, you're actually
608
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,079
the perfect kind of customer.
609
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,199
You won't touch palm oil
because of deforestation
610
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,839
but you'll happily snort cocaine
that's been up some poor
611
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:28,799
peasant's mimsy.
612
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:32,199
Firstly, there is no way I'm
exploiting 40 years of trust in
613
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:35,839
the BJC, and secondly, "mimsy"?
614
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:38,879
So what other choice do we have?
No-one wants to be doing this.
615
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,439
What about Gabby?
616
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,719
Surely everyone in her phone is
a potential customer.
617
00:35:42,720 --> 00:35:45,719
What about her music festival?
Isn't there a mailing list for that?
618
00:35:45,720 --> 00:35:48,559
I'm not bringing Gabby into this.
You don't have to bring her into it,
619
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,519
you just have to get
the details off her phone.
620
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:51,919
And you live with her,
621
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:53,559
so I'm sure that should be
easy enough.
622
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:55,639
Well, what about you?
You work in a nightclub!
623
00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:58,439
I bet their mailing list is full
of drug heads. No, no, my manager is
624
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,279
proper paranoid. He keeps his office
door locked, computer password
625
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:05,879
protected, there's no way I'd get in
there. Find a way.
626
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:08,639
You get Gabby's mailing list.
You get the BJC's.
627
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:10,679
How? It's on Claire's computer.
628
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:13,719
Figure it out.
Who put you in charge?
629
00:36:13,720 --> 00:36:15,760
What are you going to contribute?
630
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:26,199
Students. Students,
they love to party, don't they?
631
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,959
We have a major university right
here in the city,
632
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:32,279
that is 20,000 potential buyers
right there.
633
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,880
But none of us are students.
No, but you look like you are.
634
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,840
Who do I speak to
about volunteering?
635
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:25,759
You take every sausage
636
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:27,879
the average person would eat in
their lifetime,
637
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,839
put it together, it would actually
reach to the moon.
638
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:33,999
You need to watch
a documentary called Food, Inc -
639
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:37,399
you will never eat meat again.
I won't go near the stuff,
640
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:38,679
it's the smoking of today.
641
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:41,639
Excuse me,
are you organising the frat party?
642
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:44,599
That was my idea. You missed
the early-bird wristbands, OK?
643
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:45,839
Tickets are now 35 a pop.
644
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,199
You'll get two free Jaegers
645
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,199
and entry to the wet T-shirt
competition, where
646
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,079
the contestants...all men.
647
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:55,279
Erm, I was hoping I could volunteer?
648
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:58,159
Yeah? You can...man a hose?
649
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:01,079
No, with the organisation of
the party.
650
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:04,399
Most freshers just want to
get wasted.
651
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:08,720
Not me. I enjoy planning
more than partying.
652
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:25,080
This is Greg, he works for
Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe.
653
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:27,759
She comes in here...a lot.
654
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,399
Well, milady's got great taste.
655
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,879
Not if she comes in here,
she doesn't.
656
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,359
But she does have a great arse.
I'll be sure to pass that on.
657
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,719
I don't know if you're aware that,
aside from her arse,
658
00:38:36,720 --> 00:38:39,079
she's also got 1.2 million
followers on social media.
659
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:41,759
I don't use the internet much,
660
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,879
except for sports results
and wanking.
661
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:45,639
Well, it's good to have hobbies.
662
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,759
Can I suggest you give Her Ladyship
a quick Google?
663
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,800
I think you'd be quite interested
in what you find.
664
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:05,119
Is Lady Gabby single?
Because my wife's just left me, OK?
665
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:09,159
I'm on the hunt and she is right
up my street - classy.
666
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,039
Well, Lady Gabby's actually
a member of the LGBT community.
667
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,599
What, she's a lezza? What a waste.
668
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:17,159
Yup. Or you'd have been in with
a shot.
669
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,599
Not very ladylike,
is she, Her Ladyship,
670
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:23,039
smashing up cars, keying cars.
What's she got against cars?
671
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:24,919
Well, she's what we call "edgy".
672
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:26,839
Well, round here we'd call her
a bitch.
673
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:28,719
Well, I'll be sure to pass that on.
674
00:39:28,720 --> 00:39:30,439
What's your proposition?
675
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,599
Well, what if Her Ladyship was
to tell her 1.2 million
676
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:34,079
followers that she's going to make
677
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:37,919
a live personal performance in your
club this evening?
678
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:41,000
To do what? Wave and stuff?
679
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:44,640
How much?
680
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,919
Look after my Range like it's your
own nut sack.
681
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:16,479
I see so much as
682
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:19,080
a crisp wrapper in
the cup holder, it's peak for you.
683
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:24,159
Guard that line with your life,
because it's worth way more.
684
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:28,520
You feel me? Yeah, I feel you.
685
00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:49,559
Peoples say she destroyed
the welfare state.
686
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,639
Public spending went up every year
under Thatcher.
687
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:56,439
In '82 to '83, the Government was
spending 48% of GDP.
688
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,760
That's more than in any year under
Tony Blair or Gordon Brown.
689
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:08,399
Thanks, Tom. Poor bloke,
what's he - like, 60?
690
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:11,000
If I wind up doing that when
I'm his age, shoot me, yeah?
691
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:16,319
What's wrong with what he's doing?
692
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:19,199
No, nothing. I just think that one
can aspire to a little bit more than
693
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,879
collecting other people's crap all
your life. Why?
694
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:23,839
If all you did every day
was mop latrines,
695
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:28,359
empty bins for minimum wage,
why wouldn't you shoot yourself?
696
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:30,439
What are you studying?
697
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,679
I'm doing a PhD in
Applied Microeconomics.
698
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:35,399
And what are you going to do when
you finish? Write, teach,
699
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:38,199
I'd like to be an academic,
like my father.
700
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:42,919
Right, so you're going to spend five
years studying Microeconomics,
701
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:47,919
then write some obscure academic
textbook that half
702
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:50,119
a dozen people will read,
703
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:52,999
and then spend your life
teaching Microeconomics
704
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,479
so that other people can do
the same thing, is that right?
705
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,919
You're saying academia's not
a worthy pursuit?
706
00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:00,839
I'm saying that academia's
masturbation in a corduroy jacket.
707
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,239
What are you going to do
with your life, then?
708
00:42:05,240 --> 00:42:07,119
I don't know.
709
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:08,639
That's not an answer.
710
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:10,519
It's honest. I don't know.
711
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:14,280
I just know I want to live,
like, really live.
712
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,439
I get that.
713
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:22,040
I just got back from inter-railing.
Never felt more alive.
714
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:26,320
Laurence Chartney,
by the way, Union President.
715
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:29,679
Rani Rekowski.
716
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,239
Is there anything else I can
help with?
717
00:42:32,240 --> 00:42:34,159
I'm actually really good
at computers.
718
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,480
Oh, actually, yes.
719
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:42,199
One, two. Check, one, two.
720
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:45,639
Oh, let me take that
for you, Your Ladyship.
721
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:49,359
Feel free to leave anything you like
in here, it's very secure.
722
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:52,959
You could even get changed in here,
if you like, that camera don't work.
723
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:57,719
When you chatted about us on your
Twitter and whatnot,
724
00:42:57,720 --> 00:43:00,599
we sold over 80% of our tickets.
725
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:02,519
In one hour, this place will be
726
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:06,319
chock-a-block with over 2,000
people, all here to see you.
727
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:10,039
2,000? Yeah, all getting pissed
up, hopefully.
728
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:11,079
And what do I have to do?
729
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:14,479
Just walk on the stage,
wave and give away some T-shirts.
730
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:18,120
On that stage? Yeah.
731
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:20,760
Let's talk financials.
732
00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:58,479
You weren't lying, nice work.
733
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:00,799
Next, could you consolidate this
734
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:03,280
into one super column for me?
Uh-huh.
735
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:07,839
You know, if there's something you
need to, you know, get on with...
736
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:10,759
Hey, thanks for really giving it
to me earlier, no holds barred.
737
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:13,359
You know, there's
a lot of smart people in this place
738
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:15,679
but most of them struggle
to keep up with me. But not you.
739
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:18,719
Mm. So, namaste.
740
00:44:18,720 --> 00:44:20,519
Namaste.
741
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:21,999
Can I ask you a personal question?
742
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,959
Shut me down immediately if this is
out of order,
743
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:28,599
but I would love to converse
further. Can I get your deets?
744
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:32,479
My deets? It's short for details.
745
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:33,839
Not by much.
746
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:37,679
What do you say? Yeah, OK, sure.
747
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:41,479
Great. So what are you studying
here, by the way?
748
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:44,079
Erm, Mathematics and Physics.
749
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,199
Yeah? I did Maths as my undergrad.
750
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:49,519
Really? Did you? That's great.
751
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:50,719
How are you finding it so far?
752
00:44:50,720 --> 00:44:55,519
Professor Sturridge is a bit of
a hard arse, right?
753
00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:58,079
Is he? I hadn't noticed. SHE is.
754
00:44:58,080 --> 00:44:59,759
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
755
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:01,439
Sorry, she seems kind of blokeish
to me.
756
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:03,080
Mm.
757
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:08,119
We're going to head to the bar
for some drinks
758
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:10,119
and I think you should join.
759
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:14,279
Yeah, I just really want to break
the back of this,
760
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:17,039
but then I'll be straight down.
That's a great work ethic.
761
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:19,159
Mm. Whatever it is you choose
to do in life...
762
00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:21,840
..I can tell
you're going to crush it.
763
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:27,840
I'll see you down there.
764
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:41,119
Mailing list, come on.
765
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:45,160
Well, there isn't that much time...
766
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:50,039
What is it?
767
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:52,239
John, I'm at the
you-know-where,
768
00:45:52,240 --> 00:45:54,719
trying to get the you-know-what off
of Claire's computer.
769
00:45:54,720 --> 00:45:57,439
Lovely. Why are you calling me?
Because I don't use computers.
770
00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:00,799
I've just literally spent
the last 45 minutes trying
771
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:03,679
to turn the damn thing on!
Where's the mailing list?
772
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:05,439
How can I possibly know that?
773
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:07,519
Well, you use computers, don't you?
774
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:10,919
Yeah, I have. Not that exact one.
775
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:14,279
What's on the screen? A waterfall.
776
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:16,999
OK, are there folders with
the waterfall? Folders?
777
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,679
Yeah, the little icons that look
like folders.
778
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:23,079
No, there are no folders, I just
told you, it's just a waterfall.
779
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:27,160
Then you're looking at a
screensaver. A what?
780
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:33,079
Ladies and gentlemen,
Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe!
781
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:36,559
She's on, what's she waiting for?
782
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:39,439
She's just getting in the zone.
Give her a second.
783
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:43,119
Do you know what a mouse is?
Yes, Yes, I know what a mouse is.
784
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:44,319
Jiggle it!
785
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:49,399
Ooh! Right. Yes.
Now, that's done something.
786
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:52,639
So now the screen is purple and grey
787
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:54,680
and there are lots of little
folders.
788
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:57,400
Now what?
789
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:05,039
Look for one that says "mailing
list" - or something like that.
790
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:08,479
My pork chop is getting
cold, by the way.
791
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:10,639
"Mail out". Right,
792
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:12,919
there's one called "mail out".
Could that be it?
793
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:14,959
Could be. Now what?
794
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:16,719
Now drag and drop it onto your USB.
795
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,799
Are you ready? I can't do it.
796
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:25,959
Yeah, you can.
He's paying you 1,500 quid.
797
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:29,119
Per club. And he's got five clubs.
That's seven-and-a-half grand.
798
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:31,279
Almost pays off your bar tab.
799
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:33,039
What does drag and drop mean?
800
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:35,799
Christ! My mother-in-law can drag
and drop, she's 92 and blind.
801
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:37,359
Just put the arrow over the folder.
802
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:41,959
Put the arrow, put
the arrow... How do I do that?
803
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:45,559
With the mouse! Put the arrow over
the folder with the mouse!
804
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:48,720
Do not fucking shout at me.
805
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:54,479
Hi, Imran. Hi.
806
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:56,599
This may be nothing,
807
00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:59,479
but this new fresher's just
volunteered at the student union
808
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:02,119
and something smells
a bit off about her.
809
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:04,759
Do you mind just searching
to see if she's actually
810
00:48:04,760 --> 00:48:07,680
a student here?
Her name is Rani Rekowski.
811
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:13,200
Oh, damn! I left my phone in my coat
in your office.
812
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:16,159
No, it's cool. I'll go.
813
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:17,840
Oh, cheers.
814
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:31,679
The arrow is now over the folder.
Now what?
815
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:35,239
Now press and hold the button
on the mouse.
816
00:48:35,240 --> 00:48:36,920
Right.
817
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:49,679
B-I-G.
818
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:52,759
"Big jugs," got it.
819
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:54,440
Come on.
820
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:10,559
Yes.
821
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:14,080
Without releasing the button,
drag it into your USB.
822
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:17,600
What is a USB? What's a US...?
823
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:22,999
There's no trace of her...anywhere.
824
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:26,639
Will you come with me while I have
a little conflab with her?
825
00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:28,279
Come on!
826
00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:31,479
How many eggs do you have a week?
827
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:35,199
It's frozen. Come on. Come on.
828
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:38,239
Six, seven, exactly, this is
the problem.
829
00:49:38,240 --> 00:49:40,439
Stay where you are,
I'm coming over.
830
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:42,679
OK. Good.
831
00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:44,119
Oh!
832
00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:47,600
Watch this documentary,
you'll never eat meat again.
833
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:51,760
Come on. OK.
834
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:18,919
Can I get a triple vodka
with tonic, please?
835
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:20,439
In fact, just hold the tonic.
836
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:24,359
Of course, I'll stick it on
your tab.
837
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:26,359
Is that wise?
No drink or drugs, remember?
838
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:28,439
I need it. No, you don't.
839
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:30,439
I can't go out there sober.
I don't sing,
840
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:32,159
I don't dance, I don't act,
841
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:34,239
I don't do anything,
I'm like an appendix!
842
00:50:34,240 --> 00:50:35,639
It doesn't matter.
843
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:39,639
They just want to stare at you
and take pictures, like an accident
844
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:42,439
on the motorway. Really? Yeah. Just
think of yourself as a family of
845
00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:44,799
four who have had a head-on
collision with an 18-wheeler.
846
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:47,639
Yeah, good. This is this is making
me feel better. Keep talking.
847
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:49,279
They've cut out Mum and the kids,
848
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:51,239
but it doesn't look like Dad's going
to make it.
849
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:41,759
What's up, darlings?
850
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:47,559
How are we all tonight?
851
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:50,159
Who wants some free shit?
852
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:55,160
You can shout a bit louder,
who wants some free shit?
853
00:52:41,240 --> 00:52:44,399
It's going to take hours
to text all the numbers we've got.
854
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:47,439
No, it won't. We can automate
and SMS mailout from this laptop.
855
00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:48,759
I did a quick Google search
856
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:51,039
and found some open-source
robot-text software.
857
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:52,159
What did she just say?
858
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:54,039
So what's our message going to be?
859
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:56,399
"Oh, hi there, we've got some lovely
cocaine for sale"?
860
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:58,919
We need code words.
What about "grown-up sweeties"?
861
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:01,199
Well, that just sounds paedo-y,
doesn't it?
862
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:02,999
We need a euphemism that appeals
863
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:07,159
to middle-class users who get
the cocaine out at dinner parties.
864
00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:08,759
Colombian After Eights?
865
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:11,199
Throw in the words "Fairtrade"
and "organic". No can do.
866
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:13,799
If you call a product organic when
it hasn't been certified by
867
00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:16,039
an official body, you're actually
breaking the law.
868
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:18,759
Oh? Right, cos we don't want our
cocaine breaking the law.
869
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:20,719
This is never going to work. What,
870
00:53:20,720 --> 00:53:23,599
we're just going to send out spam
and hope that someone replies?
871
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:27,319
Listen, flyers, cold-calling, you're
looking at a 2-3% success rate.
872
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:28,879
What about referrals?
873
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:30,279
40-50%.
874
00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:33,559
OK, so we just need a few bites
to get word-of-mouth going.
875
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:35,879
And what if we accidentally message
a policeman?
876
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:38,239
Well, no policeman's making
extra work for themselves
877
00:53:38,240 --> 00:53:39,799
by chasing down an anonymous text.
878
00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:41,679
Well, what if we
accidentally message
879
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:43,839
a do-gooder who then notifies
a policeman?
880
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:44,879
Myrns, do you notify
881
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:48,799
a policeman every time you get spam
email from some Nigerian prince?
882
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:50,399
Don't...
883
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:52,639
And we're using burner phones,
so they won't be able
884
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:54,119
to trace them back to us.
885
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:56,719
Coffee. I'd love a coffee, mate,
thanks.
886
00:53:56,720 --> 00:53:59,759
No, as our code words.
"Flat white" for coke,
887
00:53:59,760 --> 00:54:02,279
"espresso" for crack.
888
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:05,400
"Single shot, double shot -
how many bags you want?"
889
00:54:07,240 --> 00:54:10,720
Sounds good. Yeah, it's good.
It's a good idea, yeah.
890
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:24,360
Godspeed.
891
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:51,320
Shall we order some actual coffees?
Yeah, good shout.
892
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:55,679
Oh, shit the bed!
893
00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:05,439
What's your need?
894
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:09,799
This message, is it what I think it
is? It is.
895
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:11,399
How do I know you're not police?
896
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,799
Well, unless you're planning on
buying a couple of kilos,
897
00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:15,879
the police aren't interested
in you.
898
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:19,040
Fair enough. Two flat whites
and a double espresso, please.
899
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:21,959
Where are you at?
900
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:23,719
Makepeace Avenue.
901
00:55:23,720 --> 00:55:26,359
Someone will be along shortly.
Tell your friends.
902
00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:29,400
OK. Bye. Oh.
903
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:35,480
Yes!
904
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,519
Hello? Yeah, what do you want?
905
00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:57,599
Where are you at?
906
00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:59,560
What coffees do you require?
907
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:17,799
Where are you?
908
00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:20,039
Where are you at? Where are you?
Where are you?
909
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:24,399
What are you wearing?
I don't mean that in a sexy way,
910
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:26,839
I just mean what you're wearing,
so we can identify you.
911
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:28,799
OK, one second. I'll be with you in
a second.
912
00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:31,440
OK, great.
913
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:34,880
It gets you buzzed up.
914
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:37,920
Spread the word, OK?
73521
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