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1
00:00:06,257 --> 00:00:07,463
Is it my turn?
2
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,451
No, we're still waiting
for Calvin to play.
3
00:00:09,469 --> 00:00:11,388
Okay, uh, stop rushing me.
4
00:00:11,670 --> 00:00:14,295
Dave took like ten minutes
to put down the word "cat."
5
00:00:14,976 --> 00:00:17,177
Well, I was one letter
away from "catnip,"
6
00:00:17,193 --> 00:00:19,255
but all I had was this blank tile.
7
00:00:21,804 --> 00:00:23,248
Damn it!
8
00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:28,672
Okay, all right, here we go.
Here we go right here. F-I...
9
00:00:28,827 --> 00:00:32,289
N-N-A.
10
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,606
Boom. Triple word score.
11
00:00:34,661 --> 00:00:36,718
"Finna"?
12
00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:39,290
What's "finna"?
13
00:00:39,374 --> 00:00:43,391
You know, as in, "I'm finna
get 38 points for that word."
14
00:00:45,443 --> 00:00:48,651
I'm pretty sure "finna"
isn't in the dictionary.
15
00:00:51,090 --> 00:00:52,814
Well, Black people say it all the time,
16
00:00:52,831 --> 00:00:55,534
so if it's not, your
dictionary's racist.
17
00:00:55,612 --> 00:00:57,674
Boom, triple word score.
18
00:01:00,472 --> 00:01:01,604
Ah...
19
00:01:01,616 --> 00:01:02,877
What's wrong?
20
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,834
I'm having some problems
with my wrist lately.
21
00:01:04,858 --> 00:01:06,359
I think I might have carpal tunnel.
22
00:01:06,620 --> 00:01:09,113
Damn it. I could've
played "carpal," too.
23
00:01:10,755 --> 00:01:13,260
Dave, if your wrist hurts,
you should see my doctor.
24
00:01:13,603 --> 00:01:15,326
Dr. Richards is like family.
25
00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:17,903
Calvin, Dr. Richards
died nine years ago.
26
00:01:18,783 --> 00:01:20,087
He did?
27
00:01:20,458 --> 00:01:23,427
Well, let that be a lesson.
Don't let family drift apart.
28
00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:25,962
Seriously, Calvin?
29
00:01:25,970 --> 00:01:27,712
You haven't seen a doctor in nine years?
30
00:01:27,729 --> 00:01:29,603
No. I've been begging him
31
00:01:29,625 --> 00:01:31,135
to get a physical for the longest time,
32
00:01:31,168 --> 00:01:33,636
- but he just won't go.
- That's because I don't need to.
33
00:01:33,878 --> 00:01:35,221
Look, I'm so healthy,
34
00:01:35,237 --> 00:01:38,372
I already outlived my
doctor by nine years.
35
00:01:39,726 --> 00:01:41,811
Calvin, you should
really listen to Tina.
36
00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:43,117
You know, your health is important.
37
00:01:43,150 --> 00:01:45,495
If I were you, I would
definitely be finna to go.
38
00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:51,954
Gemma, you're right. It's not a word.
39
00:01:57,898 --> 00:02:00,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
40
00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:03,715
- Oh, hey, Calvin.
- Hey, Dave.
41
00:02:03,914 --> 00:02:06,933
- What do you got there?
- Oh, just some of my old juggling clubs.
42
00:02:07,064 --> 00:02:10,265
You know, I would say I didn't
know you juggled, but deep down,
43
00:02:10,576 --> 00:02:12,214
I think I did.
44
00:02:12,608 --> 00:02:14,101
Well, I haven't done it in years,
45
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:15,497
so I might be a little rusty.
46
00:02:15,504 --> 00:02:17,501
But I figured, hey, what's
the worst that could happen?
47
00:02:17,827 --> 00:02:20,023
I don't know, but whatever it is,
48
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:22,190
I am definitely getting it on video.
49
00:02:22,970 --> 00:02:24,534
Just got to do one last thing.
50
00:02:25,176 --> 00:02:28,328
Whoa. Whoa, you're setting them on fire?
51
00:02:28,455 --> 00:02:31,115
I thought you said you hadn't
juggled in years. That's crazy.
52
00:02:31,199 --> 00:02:33,055
Well, maybe, but not half as crazy
53
00:02:33,071 --> 00:02:34,537
as skipping the doctor for nine years.
54
00:02:34,592 --> 00:02:37,747
So I guess you could say
we're both playing with fire.
55
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,555
Oh, okay. So that's what this is about.
56
00:02:41,663 --> 00:02:43,792
You know what? I take it back. Go ahead.
57
00:02:43,820 --> 00:02:45,518
Roast your marshmallows.
58
00:02:46,651 --> 00:02:48,293
Okay.
59
00:02:48,796 --> 00:02:50,112
Calvin, I'm serious.
60
00:02:50,145 --> 00:02:52,218
You got to go to the doctor every year.
61
00:02:52,241 --> 00:02:54,690
- It's really important.
- Dave, I'm fine.
62
00:02:54,939 --> 00:02:56,545
I treat my body like a temple.
63
00:02:56,767 --> 00:02:58,552
It's probably why so
many people worship me.
64
00:02:59,903 --> 00:03:02,580
Okay, I guess Tina was right.
You won't listen to reason.
65
00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:04,634
So it looks like I'm gonna have to try
66
00:03:04,649 --> 00:03:06,859
- something else to get you to do it.
- What?
67
00:03:06,976 --> 00:03:08,304
Embarrass you.
68
00:03:08,342 --> 00:03:10,153
If you don't go to the doctor,
I'm gonna make a T-shirt
69
00:03:10,154 --> 00:03:11,863
that says "Calvin is my best friend,"
70
00:03:11,869 --> 00:03:13,539
and I'm gonna wear it wherever we go.
71
00:03:13,842 --> 00:03:16,060
- Eh, you wouldn't.
- I already did.
72
00:03:18,548 --> 00:03:20,373
How'd you get that made so fast?
73
00:03:20,482 --> 00:03:22,324
You just found out
about this last night.
74
00:03:22,458 --> 00:03:24,119
Actually, I've had it for a while.
75
00:03:24,150 --> 00:03:26,683
I had it made for our
upcoming friendiversary.
76
00:03:27,797 --> 00:03:29,082
Just picture it, Calvin.
77
00:03:29,180 --> 00:03:31,068
You're in the barber shop holding court,
78
00:03:31,083 --> 00:03:33,564
I stroll in wearing this.
79
00:03:33,807 --> 00:03:37,525
So what? I've been the big
dog around here a long time.
80
00:03:37,571 --> 00:03:40,140
It'll take more than a
T-shirt to bring me down.
81
00:03:40,207 --> 00:03:42,800
I figured you'd say that, which
is why I made it a tank top.
82
00:03:45,132 --> 00:03:46,932
Okay, you know what? Fine. I'll go.
83
00:03:48,423 --> 00:03:51,337
But if Dr. Richards wasn't already
dead, this would've killed him.
84
00:03:54,483 --> 00:03:55,927
Hey, here you go, bro.
85
00:03:56,015 --> 00:03:57,382
Oh, man,
86
00:03:57,402 --> 00:03:58,965
it doesn't get any better than this.
87
00:03:59,088 --> 00:04:01,420
Two grown men, making it on our own,
88
00:04:01,580 --> 00:04:03,142
living our independent lives.
89
00:04:03,457 --> 00:04:06,200
Marty, we live 60 feet
from Mom and Pop's house.
90
00:04:07,098 --> 00:04:08,258
Exactly.
91
00:04:08,377 --> 00:04:10,234
It's far enough away to be independent
92
00:04:10,352 --> 00:04:11,998
but close enough to steal their Wi-Fi.
93
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:14,716
- See? Okay.
- I see. Yeah.
94
00:04:15,372 --> 00:04:16,543
Yo.
95
00:04:16,666 --> 00:04:17,945
- Hey, little man.
- Hey.
96
00:04:17,961 --> 00:04:19,183
What's up? Come on in.
97
00:04:19,508 --> 00:04:21,272
We're having career day at my school.
98
00:04:21,608 --> 00:04:25,126
Since my dad came last year
and my mom's the principal,
99
00:04:25,203 --> 00:04:28,612
and you have such an awesome job
at JPL, I thought I'd ask you.
100
00:04:29,009 --> 00:04:31,846
Well, your friendly
neighborhood rocket scientist
101
00:04:31,882 --> 00:04:33,914
gladly accepts your invitation.
102
00:04:34,405 --> 00:04:36,571
Oh, I was actually talking to Malcolm.
103
00:04:38,799 --> 00:04:41,024
What? But Malcolm's
just a security guard.
104
00:04:41,084 --> 00:04:44,905
Uh, yeah, a security guard
who just watched you blow up
105
00:04:45,116 --> 00:04:46,772
- on takeoff.
- What... ?
106
00:04:47,251 --> 00:04:48,969
Yeah, but that, that makes no sense.
107
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,645
Why would you want him instead of me?
108
00:04:50,712 --> 00:04:52,796
Because security guards are cool.
109
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:56,383
They've got uniforms and handcuffs,
110
00:04:56,524 --> 00:04:59,715
- and he takes down bad guys, right?
- Well, you know, uh,
111
00:05:00,218 --> 00:05:01,920
I do what I got to do.
112
00:05:02,952 --> 00:05:05,461
Yeah, and what you got
to do is check I.D.'s
113
00:05:05,467 --> 00:05:07,167
and let the pizza guy up the elevator.
114
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:09,679
And just for that, from now on,
115
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,344
the only lunch I'm letting up is salad.
116
00:05:12,435 --> 00:05:15,019
Whoa, guys, I didn't
mean to start a fight.
117
00:05:15,258 --> 00:05:17,546
Look, Marty, if you want
to, you can come, too.
118
00:05:17,572 --> 00:05:19,080
Yes!
119
00:05:19,158 --> 00:05:20,350
I'm gonna get started right now.
120
00:05:20,376 --> 00:05:23,793
You guys are gonna see just
how fun math and science can be!
121
00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:25,863
Great.
122
00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:30,678
If he gets too boring,
you do what you got to do.
123
00:05:35,094 --> 00:05:38,344
Well, I hope he has better
news for me than he had for you.
124
00:05:39,671 --> 00:05:41,309
Okay, Mr. Butler,
125
00:05:41,354 --> 00:05:44,642
I have the results from
your physical, and...
126
00:05:44,688 --> 00:05:47,675
You know what? I'm fine. I don't
care what your stupid test says.
127
00:05:48,443 --> 00:05:50,414
Actually, they say
you're in amazing health.
128
00:05:50,770 --> 00:05:53,164
Oh, well, tests don't lie.
129
00:05:54,572 --> 00:05:57,140
I told you he's a good doctor.
You should've listened to him.
130
00:05:57,934 --> 00:06:01,127
Your cholesterol is good,
your blood pressure is low...
131
00:06:01,142 --> 00:06:03,830
- all your numbers look great.
- Huh. Terrific.
132
00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:06,181
Now all we've got to do is
schedule your colonoscopy.
133
00:06:06,423 --> 00:06:08,053
Uh, say what, now?
134
00:06:08,445 --> 00:06:11,312
Your colonoscopy? When
it comes to colon cancer,
135
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:12,947
early detection can save your life.
136
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:15,465
It's standard procedure
for anyone over 45.
137
00:06:15,589 --> 00:06:17,781
Well, great, so there's no rush.
138
00:06:17,951 --> 00:06:20,723
I plan on being over
45 the rest of my life.
139
00:06:22,379 --> 00:06:26,083
Look, I know the idea makes
a lot of men uncomfortable,
140
00:06:26,113 --> 00:06:28,110
but trust me, it's not a big deal.
141
00:06:28,233 --> 00:06:29,941
First, you'll be put to sleep.
142
00:06:30,101 --> 00:06:34,805
Then we insert a small
camera into the rectum.
143
00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:36,848
From there, it travels
144
00:06:36,971 --> 00:06:39,086
through your large intestine,
145
00:06:39,117 --> 00:06:41,056
then it zigs and it zags
146
00:06:41,086 --> 00:06:43,887
deeper and deeper all the way
147
00:06:43,908 --> 00:06:45,863
up here into your small intestine,
148
00:06:45,888 --> 00:06:47,322
taking pictures along the way.
149
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,267
Then we just reel it back in, and...
150
00:06:50,319 --> 00:06:52,113
... out pops the camera.
151
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,937
Well, that all sounds
delightful, but, um...
152
00:06:58,314 --> 00:06:59,629
that's a hard pass.
153
00:07:02,352 --> 00:07:04,096
Hey, man.
154
00:07:04,317 --> 00:07:05,473
Oh, hey, Malcolm.
155
00:07:05,875 --> 00:07:08,877
Whoa, what is under there? Uh, Marty?
156
00:07:08,910 --> 00:07:10,721
If it's another Lego Death Star,
157
00:07:10,766 --> 00:07:12,636
you don't need to hide it from me, man.
158
00:07:12,681 --> 00:07:14,403
I already know you're a dork.
159
00:07:15,164 --> 00:07:17,923
For your information, that
was not the Death Star.
160
00:07:18,233 --> 00:07:19,761
That was the planet Tatooine.
161
00:07:19,793 --> 00:07:21,289
Okay? So who's the dork now?
162
00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:24,725
Right, okay, so, uh, what is it?
163
00:07:25,073 --> 00:07:28,415
Uh, just a little something to
ensure that I win career day.
164
00:07:28,539 --> 00:07:29,854
- "Win career day"?
- Mm-hmm.
165
00:07:29,896 --> 00:07:31,774
I didn't realize it was a competition.
166
00:07:31,789 --> 00:07:34,945
Oh, it won't be, because I have this.
167
00:07:37,163 --> 00:07:38,675
Marty, I don't want to know
168
00:07:38,685 --> 00:07:40,316
what you do with that robot hand,
169
00:07:40,326 --> 00:07:41,997
and I'm sure the kids won't, either.
170
00:07:42,771 --> 00:07:44,375
Malcolm, meet Elliot,
171
00:07:44,406 --> 00:07:46,441
a fully articulated bionic
limb designed to make
172
00:07:46,442 --> 00:07:48,806
exterior repairs to the
International Space Station.
173
00:07:49,023 --> 00:07:51,179
He also gives pretty sweet fist bumps.
174
00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:56,378
All right.
175
00:07:56,507 --> 00:07:58,705
- That is pretty impressive.
- I know, right?
176
00:07:58,730 --> 00:08:01,320
Yeah, but I'm not worried
about it, because I have this.
177
00:08:01,809 --> 00:08:03,878
A stun gun? Please.
178
00:08:03,981 --> 00:08:06,240
Elliot can crush steel
and survive temperatures
179
00:08:06,246 --> 00:08:08,102
down to 500 degrees below zero.
180
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,654
How can a stun gun compete?
181
00:08:09,825 --> 00:08:11,150
Maybe like this.
182
00:08:12,806 --> 00:08:14,693
Malcolm, are you crazy?
183
00:08:14,982 --> 00:08:16,963
Do you know how long this
is gonna take me to fix?
184
00:08:17,004 --> 00:08:19,073
Hopefully not too long,
because I would love
185
00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:20,981
to do that again in front of the kids.
186
00:08:29,847 --> 00:08:31,105
Oh, hey, babe.
187
00:08:31,513 --> 00:08:33,998
So, what did the doctor say?
188
00:08:34,442 --> 00:08:36,583
Exactly what I told you he would.
189
00:08:36,701 --> 00:08:37,986
I'm in perfect health.
190
00:08:38,615 --> 00:08:40,317
You know, I hate to say it, but, uh,
191
00:08:40,343 --> 00:08:42,246
I think I'm gonna outlive this one, too.
192
00:08:43,422 --> 00:08:45,295
Well, that is such a relief.
193
00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:46,760
Did he say anything else?
194
00:08:46,806 --> 00:08:49,963
Uh, no, uh, not that I recall.
195
00:08:51,005 --> 00:08:53,904
I am so happy to hear that.
You know what? And to celebrate,
196
00:08:54,151 --> 00:08:56,444
I've got something very
special planned for you.
197
00:08:56,490 --> 00:08:58,362
Okay. Uh, what's that?
198
00:08:58,517 --> 00:09:00,559
I scheduled your colonoscopy.
199
00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:04,103
Uh, s-say what, now?
200
00:09:05,356 --> 00:09:07,001
The doctor's office called.
201
00:09:07,011 --> 00:09:09,580
How could you leave there
without scheduling an appointment?
202
00:09:09,601 --> 00:09:11,824
Come on, Tina. The
doctor said I was healthy.
203
00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:14,767
- Isn't that good enough?
- No, Calvin, that is not good enough.
204
00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:16,965
You know, I looked it up online.
205
00:09:17,007 --> 00:09:20,488
Do you know that one in every
48 men will get colon cancer?
206
00:09:21,267 --> 00:09:23,593
And that number is even
worse for Black men.
207
00:09:23,810 --> 00:09:25,842
Well, you know what's
worse for this Black man?
208
00:09:25,924 --> 00:09:29,060
Is having someone turn
my ass into a photo booth.
209
00:09:31,912 --> 00:09:33,805
Calvin, this is nonnegotiable.
210
00:09:34,347 --> 00:09:35,796
You're too important to me.
211
00:09:37,292 --> 00:09:38,530
So here.
212
00:09:41,351 --> 00:09:43,629
- What's that?
- It's your dinner for tonight.
213
00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:46,998
It's a stimulant laxative that
will flush out your system.
214
00:09:47,219 --> 00:09:48,602
Come on, Tina. Quit playing.
215
00:09:48,736 --> 00:09:50,546
I don't want that stuff inside my body.
216
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,083
Oh, don't worry, baby.
217
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,708
It won't be for long.
218
00:10:00,795 --> 00:10:04,700
- Morning, babe. How you feeling?
- Terrible.
219
00:10:04,787 --> 00:10:07,508
That laxative had me running
to the bathroom all night.
220
00:10:07,869 --> 00:10:10,061
Aw, poor baby. I would hug you,
221
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:12,388
but squeezing you right now
might not be a good idea.
222
00:10:13,407 --> 00:10:16,108
Don't worry, Tina. There's nothing left.
223
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:19,527
I haven't felt this empty
since N.W.A broke up.
224
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,354
W... well, wait. What are
you doing sitting down?
225
00:10:22,390 --> 00:10:24,454
You got to go get dressed
for your appointment.
226
00:10:24,619 --> 00:10:27,310
You know, I was thinking
about rescheduling.
227
00:10:27,743 --> 00:10:30,652
We got a big shipment
coming into the shop today.
228
00:10:30,827 --> 00:10:32,725
Calvin, it's a box of air fresheners.
229
00:10:33,921 --> 00:10:36,412
I know. I just need to be there
230
00:10:36,453 --> 00:10:37,877
to make sure Hector doesn't steal 'em
231
00:10:37,888 --> 00:10:39,492
like he does the paper towels.
232
00:10:40,441 --> 00:10:42,618
Calvin, I can take care of the shop.
233
00:10:45,283 --> 00:10:46,542
Oh, hold on.
234
00:10:46,759 --> 00:10:49,772
If you're at the shop and the
doctor says I can't drive myself,
235
00:10:49,787 --> 00:10:50,919
who's taking me?
236
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,202
Oh, hey, buddy. Ready to go?
237
00:10:55,074 --> 00:10:56,177
Seriously?
238
00:10:56,570 --> 00:10:58,705
Dave's taking me to my colonoscopy?
239
00:10:58,808 --> 00:11:01,300
Why not? You always said
he was a pain in the ass.
240
00:11:01,331 --> 00:11:03,688
Just think of him as
the pregame warm-up.
241
00:11:08,687 --> 00:11:09,831
Hey, Gemma.
242
00:11:09,966 --> 00:11:12,555
Hey, Malcolm. Where's Marty?
I thought he was coming, too.
243
00:11:12,622 --> 00:11:15,717
Uh, I don't know. Maybe we
should check the lockers.
244
00:11:15,799 --> 00:11:18,331
He has a long history of
getting stuffed in 'em.
245
00:11:20,699 --> 00:11:22,509
Okay, class, let's get started.
246
00:11:22,818 --> 00:11:25,578
I just stopped by because
Grover's special guest
247
00:11:25,598 --> 00:11:28,373
for career day is a
close friend of mine.
248
00:11:28,595 --> 00:11:32,920
In fact, he's so close,
he's actually my neighbor!
249
00:11:36,381 --> 00:11:37,900
Okay, take it away, Grover.
250
00:11:39,288 --> 00:11:40,980
I told her that wouldn't work.
251
00:11:43,554 --> 00:11:48,958
My career day guest has
the coolest job ever.
252
00:11:49,371 --> 00:11:52,930
I don't want to brag, but
he's pretty much a superhero,
253
00:11:53,023 --> 00:11:55,875
and his name is Malcolm Butler!
254
00:11:56,241 --> 00:11:58,139
Well, thank you, G-man.
255
00:11:58,170 --> 00:12:00,754
I don't know if I would say
superhero, but then again,
256
00:12:01,032 --> 00:12:03,348
that's exactly what
a superhero would say.
257
00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:07,036
Now, as a security guard,
258
00:12:07,067 --> 00:12:09,202
my job is to keep people safe.
259
00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:13,135
Which is why I always make sure...
260
00:12:29,519 --> 00:12:31,121
What's up, tiny Earthlings?
261
00:12:31,946 --> 00:12:33,403
Are you kidding me?
262
00:12:33,423 --> 00:12:35,893
This is so cool.
263
00:12:35,912 --> 00:12:37,775
Guys, this is Marty.
264
00:12:37,788 --> 00:12:40,980
He's, uh, uh, what's-his-name's brother.
265
00:12:42,385 --> 00:12:44,686
Sorry I'm late, guys. It
was hard to find parking...
266
00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:47,407
for my spaceship. Oh!
267
00:12:49,580 --> 00:12:52,243
Okay, it's in that parking lot up there.
268
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:53,357
Okay.
269
00:12:53,435 --> 00:12:56,380
You know, I'm really glad
you decided to do this.
270
00:12:56,437 --> 00:12:57,907
After all, the healthier you are,
271
00:12:57,933 --> 00:12:59,541
the longer we get to be friends.
272
00:12:59,799 --> 00:13:02,134
Yeah. You know, I
thought about that, too,
273
00:13:02,151 --> 00:13:04,575
and then I decided to do it anyway.
274
00:13:05,891 --> 00:13:09,072
- Good, we're here, so pull in that space.
- Okay.
275
00:13:10,861 --> 00:13:12,980
Wait a second, uh...
276
00:13:13,823 --> 00:13:17,438
I don't see a doctor's office.
All I see is a Dave & Buster's.
277
00:13:17,939 --> 00:13:19,943
Because that's where we're going, Dave.
278
00:13:20,271 --> 00:13:22,262
Happy friendiversary.
279
00:13:24,356 --> 00:13:27,904
Okay, Calvin, we are supposed
to be going to your colonoscopy,
280
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:30,463
not combining all the
innocent fun of childhood
281
00:13:30,495 --> 00:13:32,497
with the alcoholic fun of adulthood.
282
00:13:33,439 --> 00:13:35,821
I know, I know, but a colonoscopy,
283
00:13:35,876 --> 00:13:37,151
that's just about me.
284
00:13:37,218 --> 00:13:39,962
A friendiversary is about us.
285
00:13:42,851 --> 00:13:46,404
You have no idea how long I've
waited to hear those words.
286
00:13:47,663 --> 00:13:50,057
But no, Calvin, I won't do it.
287
00:13:50,140 --> 00:13:52,521
- Your health is too important.
- Oh, come on.
288
00:13:52,592 --> 00:13:54,874
What could possibly be more important
289
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:59,807
than spending a full day of
uninterrupted fun with your...
290
00:14:01,068 --> 00:14:02,727
... BFF?
291
00:14:05,623 --> 00:14:07,460
That is a dirty trick, Calvin.
292
00:14:07,525 --> 00:14:08,985
And what's worse is you didn't tell me
293
00:14:09,034 --> 00:14:10,435
so I could have worn mine.
294
00:14:12,214 --> 00:14:13,890
Come on, Dave, so what's it gonna be?
295
00:14:13,916 --> 00:14:15,373
We gonna do this or what?
296
00:14:16,691 --> 00:14:18,109
Calvin, I don't know.
297
00:14:19,086 --> 00:14:20,838
All right, okay, how about this?
298
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:23,247
We play one game of Skee-Ball.
299
00:14:23,882 --> 00:14:27,049
If you win, I go ahead
and get my colonoscopy.
300
00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:31,980
If I win, you treat my
recently evacuated colon
301
00:14:32,016 --> 00:14:33,687
to hot wings and beer.
302
00:14:35,590 --> 00:14:36,998
Okay, you know what, fine.
303
00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:39,777
If that's the only way that I
can make you do it, then I'm in.
304
00:14:39,994 --> 00:14:41,536
Great. Come on, let's go.
305
00:14:41,810 --> 00:14:44,781
But FYI, that shirt would look
a lot cooler as a tank top.
306
00:14:49,670 --> 00:14:52,125
- Hey.
- Well, there he is.
307
00:14:52,176 --> 00:14:54,657
The world's first jackass-tronaut.
308
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:57,851
Hey, don't be mad at me.
309
00:14:57,892 --> 00:15:00,492
It's not my fault the kids
voted to have a mural of me
310
00:15:00,513 --> 00:15:01,941
painted on the handball court.
311
00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:04,918
Well, congratulations, Marty.
312
00:15:04,923 --> 00:15:07,677
You officially won career day
and made me look like a chump.
313
00:15:07,926 --> 00:15:09,647
Oh, come on, man, that's
not what I meant to do.
314
00:15:09,683 --> 00:15:11,102
Well, what did you mean to do?
315
00:15:11,293 --> 00:15:13,047
Malcolm, ever since we were kids,
316
00:15:13,099 --> 00:15:15,652
you were always the cool
one, but I was the nerd.
317
00:15:15,673 --> 00:15:17,122
The geek. The...
318
00:15:17,422 --> 00:15:19,299
whatever else Dad used to call me.
319
00:15:20,814 --> 00:15:22,512
Oh, you mean like poindexter
320
00:15:22,719 --> 00:15:24,183
and brainiac.
321
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:26,546
My favorite was dork chocolate.
322
00:15:28,964 --> 00:15:31,658
It's hard to forget that one when
he wrote it on my birthday cake.
323
00:15:33,029 --> 00:15:34,489
I mean, I know it might sound dumb,
324
00:15:34,499 --> 00:15:37,671
but I was really excited to
go back to school for a day
325
00:15:37,692 --> 00:15:39,327
and be the cool guy I never was.
326
00:15:39,734 --> 00:15:41,426
Oh, come on, man, you were cool.
327
00:15:41,459 --> 00:15:43,960
- Oh, yeah, right.
- No, I'm serious, Marty.
328
00:15:44,083 --> 00:15:46,330
I mean, I'm a really confident dude,
329
00:15:46,433 --> 00:15:48,515
but I think I would have felt ridiculous
330
00:15:48,541 --> 00:15:51,591
walking into that classroom
in a damn space suit.
331
00:15:52,158 --> 00:15:53,667
But not you.
332
00:15:53,699 --> 00:15:55,059
You owned it.
333
00:15:55,085 --> 00:15:57,477
And if owning who you
are is not cool, then,
334
00:15:57,696 --> 00:15:59,936
little brother, I don't know what is.
335
00:16:00,110 --> 00:16:02,008
- It was pretty cool, right?
- Yeah.
336
00:16:02,051 --> 00:16:03,733
And the lunch lady even
gave me her phone number.
337
00:16:05,192 --> 00:16:07,074
You see, man, you should keep that suit.
338
00:16:07,119 --> 00:16:08,660
A lunch lady today,
339
00:16:08,705 --> 00:16:11,419
maybe someone under 60 tomorrow.
340
00:16:13,018 --> 00:16:14,713
I wish I could keep it.
341
00:16:14,906 --> 00:16:17,486
Too bad it's a top secret
prototype worth a million dollars.
342
00:16:17,595 --> 00:16:20,497
What? You snuck a
million-dollar space suit
343
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,769
out of a high-security facility to
impress a bunch of fourth-graders?
344
00:16:23,789 --> 00:16:25,022
Are you crazy?!
345
00:16:25,197 --> 00:16:26,755
I don't know, but I'll
tell you what's crazier.
346
00:16:26,838 --> 00:16:28,256
You're gonna help me sneak it back in.
347
00:16:28,451 --> 00:16:29,875
Uh-uh.
348
00:16:29,911 --> 00:16:32,939
There's no way, man. Why
would I risk my job to do that?
349
00:16:33,032 --> 00:16:34,930
Well, because I snuck
it out on your watch.
350
00:16:35,471 --> 00:16:37,577
- Grab the suit. Let's go.
- Okay.
351
00:16:45,028 --> 00:16:46,627
Yes!
352
00:16:46,737 --> 00:16:49,889
Another 30. You are definitely
getting your colonoscopy today.
353
00:16:51,856 --> 00:16:54,874
This isn't fair. You didn't tell
me you were great at Skee-Ball.
354
00:16:54,908 --> 00:16:56,545
That's right. Because if I did,
355
00:16:56,576 --> 00:16:58,036
you might have picked Whac-A-Mole.
356
00:16:58,267 --> 00:16:59,478
It just makes me feel weird
357
00:16:59,483 --> 00:17:01,845
smashing those cute
little guys over the head.
358
00:17:03,208 --> 00:17:05,575
Well, I can still win this thing
359
00:17:05,668 --> 00:17:07,710
if I get that hundred in the corner.
360
00:17:07,731 --> 00:17:09,526
Please, Calvin, nobody ever hits those.
361
00:17:09,548 --> 00:17:11,552
- You might as well give up now.
- Uh-uh.
362
00:17:11,825 --> 00:17:13,827
If I get this ball in that hole,
363
00:17:13,971 --> 00:17:16,215
that means no one's getting near mine.
364
00:17:35,478 --> 00:17:36,783
Oh!
365
00:17:42,013 --> 00:17:43,534
How the hell'd you do that?
366
00:17:43,952 --> 00:17:47,325
Well, let's just say I was
literally fighting to save my ass.
367
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:55,671
Okay, you know what,
Calvin, fine, you win.
368
00:17:56,037 --> 00:17:58,213
But I don't... I don't get it.
369
00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:00,426
You know, you are one of
the toughest guys I know.
370
00:18:00,462 --> 00:18:03,664
How are you this afraid of
a minor medical procedure?
371
00:18:04,144 --> 00:18:06,688
It's not the procedure
I'm afraid of, Dave.
372
00:18:06,924 --> 00:18:09,364
Okay, well, then what is it?
373
00:18:09,539 --> 00:18:11,674
What if they find something? All right?
374
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:13,351
I just got a clean bill of health.
375
00:18:13,402 --> 00:18:14,990
I want to quit while I'm ahead.
376
00:18:15,088 --> 00:18:17,497
Okay, Calvin, what does that even mean?
377
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,947
It means if I'm sick,
I don't want to know.
378
00:18:21,494 --> 00:18:25,906
Look, Tina said that one out
of 48 men get colon cancer.
379
00:18:26,195 --> 00:18:27,870
What if I'm number 48?
380
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,301
But not knowing doesn't
keep you from being sick.
381
00:18:32,321 --> 00:18:34,920
It keeps you from being
able to do anything about it.
382
00:18:36,694 --> 00:18:38,690
Look, I know this
doesn't make any sense,
383
00:18:38,948 --> 00:18:42,388
but this disease is
even worse for Black men,
384
00:18:42,940 --> 00:18:44,208
and...
385
00:18:45,426 --> 00:18:49,315
I just can't think of the possibility
of not being there for my family.
386
00:18:49,697 --> 00:18:51,781
Yeah, but isn't family the whole point?
387
00:18:52,525 --> 00:18:55,159
I mean, how would... how
would you feel if Tina
388
00:18:55,278 --> 00:18:57,398
or the boys were in your situation?
389
00:18:57,558 --> 00:18:59,219
Wouldn't you want them to know the truth
390
00:18:59,234 --> 00:19:01,050
so if there was some sort of bad news
391
00:19:01,070 --> 00:19:02,845
they could do something about it?
392
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:04,345
Of course I would.
393
00:19:04,392 --> 00:19:07,407
Well, then don't you think you
owe it to them to do the same?
394
00:19:09,645 --> 00:19:12,477
Come on, Calvin, you know I'm right.
395
00:19:15,019 --> 00:19:17,412
Fine. Let's go.
396
00:19:17,969 --> 00:19:19,315
Great.
397
00:19:19,537 --> 00:19:23,318
But before we do, I want
you to know something, Dave.
398
00:19:26,351 --> 00:19:27,790
You are my BFF.
399
00:19:30,855 --> 00:19:32,107
Thank you.
400
00:19:33,660 --> 00:19:35,244
You know, with you wearing that shirt,
401
00:19:35,692 --> 00:19:37,612
well, it'll kind of be like,
402
00:19:37,695 --> 00:19:39,293
you know, we're in that room together.
403
00:19:39,618 --> 00:19:41,372
And you took it too far!
404
00:19:48,273 --> 00:19:50,408
Smells good, babe. What are we having?
405
00:19:50,429 --> 00:19:53,023
Well, in honor of the good
news about your colonoscopy,
406
00:19:53,039 --> 00:19:56,015
I thought we'd celebrate
with rump roast.
407
00:19:59,316 --> 00:20:01,317
Very funny. Go ahead.
408
00:20:01,338 --> 00:20:02,968
Get it out of your system.
409
00:20:03,143 --> 00:20:05,604
After that orange
laxative, I know I did.
410
00:20:07,177 --> 00:20:08,704
Well, seriously, Pop,
411
00:20:08,756 --> 00:20:10,679
I'm really glad that
you went through with it.
412
00:20:10,901 --> 00:20:12,541
Yeah, Dad, we're proud of you, man.
413
00:20:12,588 --> 00:20:14,604
I mean, I would have preferred
you showed us the pictures
414
00:20:14,639 --> 00:20:16,641
after dinner, but still.
415
00:20:18,849 --> 00:20:20,870
Well, what's important is now we know
416
00:20:20,885 --> 00:20:22,886
that you're gonna be
with us a long time.
417
00:20:23,020 --> 00:20:25,548
Yeah. And pretty soon, we'll
know the same about you.
418
00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:26,957
Ah. What do you mean?
419
00:20:27,137 --> 00:20:29,164
Well, I talked to your doctor today
420
00:20:29,252 --> 00:20:31,212
and scheduled your colonoscopy.
421
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:33,852
Say what, now?
422
00:20:34,698 --> 00:20:38,129
Babe, it's just as important
that women get them, too.
423
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,667
So, here you go.
424
00:20:45,082 --> 00:20:46,346
Enjoy your dinner.
425
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:53,975
Colon cancer is 90%
treatable if detected early.
426
00:20:54,145 --> 00:20:57,446
Go to StandUpToCancer.org/ColonCancer
427
00:20:57,518 --> 00:21:00,727
for information on which screening
test may be right for you.
428
00:21:02,036 --> 00:21:07,036
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