Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,330 --> 00:00:10,400
Hey, Dave.
2
00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:11,709
Oh, hey, buddy.
3
00:00:11,710 --> 00:00:13,229
Hey, this came while you guys were out,
4
00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:14,829
so I just signed for it.
5
00:00:14,830 --> 00:00:15,919
Ah, thanks.
6
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:18,339
No problem. It's just what neighbors do.
7
00:00:18,340 --> 00:00:19,550
Looks like you opened it.
8
00:00:20,460 --> 00:00:22,390
Again, it's what neighbors do.
9
00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:26,583
Calvin, this could have been
something personal or private.
10
00:00:26,584 --> 00:00:29,542
I know. I was pretty disappointed.
11
00:00:33,290 --> 00:00:34,330
'Sup, dudes?
12
00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:37,739
Whoa, is that a rooster?
13
00:00:37,740 --> 00:00:39,879
Yeah, man, why are you
walking your dinner?
14
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,079
This isn't dinner. This is Beaker.
15
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,049
I'm Wyatt. I just moved
in the house behind you.
16
00:00:45,050 --> 00:00:48,190
Oh, nice to meet you.
I'm-I'm Dave. This is Calvin.
17
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:49,679
Welcome to the neighborhood.
18
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:52,375
And welcome to the neighborhood
to you, little buddy...
19
00:00:52,376 --> 00:00:54,417
Ow! No!
20
00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:57,120
I get it.
21
00:00:57,130 --> 00:00:59,291
Threatened by another alpha male.
22
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:02,417
Yeah, seriously, though, man,
what's up with the rooster?
23
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:05,414
Well, I'm what some might
call an urban homesteader.
24
00:01:05,415 --> 00:01:07,610
Oh, does that mean you
have a lot of wives?
25
00:01:08,870 --> 00:01:10,990
No. Calvin, an urban
homesteader is someone
26
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,619
who lives in the city, but does things
27
00:01:12,620 --> 00:01:14,279
you'd normally do on a farm.
28
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,350
Actually,
29
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,280
it's a little more sophisticated
than that.
30
00:01:19,410 --> 00:01:22,600
See, I live a totally
sustainable lifestyle,
31
00:01:22,610 --> 00:01:25,250
only eating from my organic
vegetable garden,
32
00:01:25,260 --> 00:01:27,990
harnessing energy from
the sun and the wind.
33
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:31,040
Basically, trying not to be
just another parasitic leech,
34
00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:33,089
sucking the life out of Mother Earth.
35
00:01:33,090 --> 00:01:35,289
Okay, yeah, I get it.
36
00:01:35,290 --> 00:01:37,292
- This dude smokes a lot of weed.
- No.
37
00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:40,660
Don't listen to him.
38
00:01:40,670 --> 00:01:42,669
I think it's great that you're
trying to save the planet.
39
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:43,917
Forget the planet.
40
00:01:43,918 --> 00:01:45,399
You want to save that bird,
41
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,849
don't walk him down Third Street.
42
00:01:46,850 --> 00:01:48,280
It's a chicken joint on the corner,
43
00:01:48,290 --> 00:01:51,499
and you walking a number
four combo plate.
44
00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:53,859
I know you think that's funny,
45
00:01:53,860 --> 00:01:57,200
but if you ask us,
it's finger-lickin' rude.
46
00:02:01,670 --> 00:02:03,079
Well...
47
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:05,600
- congratulations, Dave.
- Well, for what?
48
00:02:05,610 --> 00:02:07,670
You're finally cooler than a Black guy.
49
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:13,240
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
50
00:02:18,890 --> 00:02:20,240
Hey, babe.
51
00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:22,339
Why you reading that fiction
52
00:02:22,340 --> 00:02:24,790
when you got a fantasy right here?
53
00:02:26,140 --> 00:02:29,084
Oh, yeah? Well, what is it about?
54
00:02:29,090 --> 00:02:31,590
Well, once upon a time,
55
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,820
there was all this.
56
00:02:33,830 --> 00:02:35,542
Ooh.
57
00:02:35,550 --> 00:02:37,729
You get in here,
my knight in shining armor,
58
00:02:37,730 --> 00:02:39,580
and you storm my castle.
59
00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:45,460
Oh, no, not again.
60
00:02:45,470 --> 00:02:46,820
Oh, b-babe, ignore it.
61
00:02:46,830 --> 00:02:48,689
O-Or make it a part of the fantasy.
62
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,789
I'm a knight that lives on a farm.
63
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,600
You know what? That damn
bird has been crowing
64
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:59,170
- for the last three nights.
- Come on, Tina.
65
00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:01,709
I'm not trying to get
rooster-blocked again.
66
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,069
Uh, I-I'm sorry, Calvin.
67
00:03:05,070 --> 00:03:08,789
I can't do this to animal
sounds going on.
68
00:03:08,790 --> 00:03:10,910
I'm freaky, but not that freaky.
69
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,920
Come on, Beaker. Knock it off!
70
00:03:23,350 --> 00:03:26,220
Hey. How are we supposed
to get any sleep
71
00:03:26,230 --> 00:03:28,129
with all that crowing going on?
72
00:03:30,980 --> 00:03:34,789
Gemma. Gemma.
73
00:03:34,790 --> 00:03:36,560
Gemma.
74
00:03:36,570 --> 00:03:38,869
- Huh? What?
- Oh, great.
75
00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:41,010
Now the rooster woke you up, too.
76
00:03:42,770 --> 00:03:45,039
Dave, just ignore it.
77
00:03:47,890 --> 00:03:51,042
How can you possibly sleep through that?
78
00:03:51,050 --> 00:03:52,999
I-I grew up in Hickory Corners.
79
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,510
You learn real quick to sleep
through animal noises,
80
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:59,130
tractor engines and the
occasional exploding meth lab.
81
00:04:02,430 --> 00:04:04,530
Well, since we're both up,
82
00:04:04,540 --> 00:04:07,209
I do know one thing that'll
help me get back to sleep.
83
00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:14,625
Shut up, Beaker. Stop rubbing it in!
84
00:04:18,350 --> 00:04:19,869
Oh, hey, everybody.
85
00:04:19,870 --> 00:04:21,449
Uh, Mom, I got some laundry for you.
86
00:04:21,450 --> 00:04:22,888
Okay, baby. Just leave it on the table.
87
00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:24,708
All right.
88
00:04:24,709 --> 00:04:27,289
Why can't Marty do his own laundry?
89
00:04:27,290 --> 00:04:29,499
He is a grown man, not a child.
90
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,699
Plus, Mama, he ate the piece of pie
91
00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:33,660
that I hid in the back of the fridge.
92
00:04:35,050 --> 00:04:37,239
I know he's not a child.
93
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,619
- But look at these cheeks!
- Hey, aw, come on.
94
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,900
Hey, Malcolm, what can I say, man?
95
00:04:42,910 --> 00:04:44,990
It ain't easy being squeezy.
96
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:49,417
Well, I just don't know why you
let him take advantage of you.
97
00:04:49,420 --> 00:04:50,780
He's not taking advantage of me.
98
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:53,129
His apartment doesn't
have a washer and dryer.
99
00:04:53,130 --> 00:04:55,900
And I don't want him having
to lug all his dirty laundry
100
00:04:55,910 --> 00:04:57,809
to some sketchy Laundromat.
101
00:04:57,810 --> 00:05:00,349
Yeah, she's right, Malcolm.
Look at these cheeks.
102
00:05:00,350 --> 00:05:01,520
It ain't safe out there, man.
103
00:05:04,050 --> 00:05:06,570
Well, I'm-a put these in
the washer right now.
104
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:10,208
You have no shame.
105
00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:12,917
That's true. But you have no pie.
106
00:05:17,170 --> 00:05:18,580
Oh, hey, Calvin.
107
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,170
Calvin?
108
00:05:24,180 --> 00:05:26,200
Hey. Calvin.
109
00:05:26,210 --> 00:05:27,810
Pick a lane, jackass!
110
00:05:31,010 --> 00:05:33,875
Let me guess: Wyatt's rooster's
been keeping you up, too?
111
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,090
Every night this week.
112
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,875
I'm so exhausted, this morning,
113
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,028
I put my phone in the toaster
114
00:05:40,030 --> 00:05:41,834
and tried to call my mom on a bagel.
115
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,130
You know what? That's it.
116
00:05:46,140 --> 00:05:47,580
I can't take it anymore.
117
00:05:47,590 --> 00:05:49,429
I'm going over there to
wring his damn neck.
118
00:05:49,430 --> 00:05:52,309
Okay, Calvin, you can't just
go over there and kill Beaker.
119
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:55,100
Beaker? I was talking about Wyatt.
120
00:05:56,170 --> 00:05:58,480
Calvin, just hold on.
121
00:05:58,490 --> 00:06:00,490
I know we're both tired and grouchy...
122
00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:03,360
which, I know for you,
is business as usual...
123
00:06:05,180 --> 00:06:08,119
... but that doesn't mean
that violence is the answer.
124
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:09,829
Then what is?
125
00:06:09,830 --> 00:06:12,690
We kill Wyatt with kindness.
126
00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:14,619
- I like the first half of that.
- No, no.
127
00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:17,130
Calvin, we're gonna go over there,
128
00:06:17,140 --> 00:06:18,858
we're gonna bring him
some homemade cookies,
129
00:06:18,860 --> 00:06:20,379
we're gonna say,
"Welcome to the neighborhood,"
130
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,730
and then we're gonna
bring up the rooster,
131
00:06:22,740 --> 00:06:25,049
at which point, I'm sure he's
gonna be very reasonable.
132
00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:28,299
D-Dave, please. He'd be
a fool to fall for that.
133
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:30,620
Would he? I got you to
stop mowing your lawn
134
00:06:30,630 --> 00:06:31,749
so early in the morning.
135
00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:32,990
Are you kidding me?
136
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,859
I got to sleep in and I got cookies?
137
00:06:35,860 --> 00:06:37,292
Who played who, Dave?
138
00:06:43,860 --> 00:06:45,870
Oh, hey, Mom. What are you doing here?
139
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,258
Well, I finished doing your laundry
140
00:06:47,260 --> 00:06:48,368
and thought I'd bring it over to you.
141
00:06:48,370 --> 00:06:50,869
Oh, Mama, you didn't have to
come all the way over here.
142
00:06:50,870 --> 00:06:53,700
I was gonna drop off
another load later tonight.
143
00:06:54,830 --> 00:06:57,160
Well, actually, I was also thinking
144
00:06:57,170 --> 00:06:58,990
that maybe I could take a nap here.
145
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,739
I just can't get any rest at home
146
00:07:00,740 --> 00:07:03,049
with that rooster crowing all the time.
147
00:07:03,050 --> 00:07:05,680
Yeah, no problem. But I
was just on my way out.
148
00:07:05,690 --> 00:07:07,618
Some cast members from
Star Trek are doing a signing
149
00:07:07,620 --> 00:07:09,359
at my favorite comic book store.
150
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:10,949
Captain's log: excited!
151
00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:14,099
Okay, baby, well, go have fun.
152
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,750
And may the Force be with you.
153
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,579
Eh, ooh, um,
154
00:07:18,580 --> 00:07:20,050
actually, that's Star Wars.
155
00:07:20,060 --> 00:07:21,539
See, Star Trek takes place
156
00:07:21,540 --> 00:07:22,707
in a completely different universe
157
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:24,508
where there's a united federa...
158
00:07:26,170 --> 00:07:27,939
Look at that.
159
00:07:27,940 --> 00:07:29,610
I'm half asleep already.
160
00:07:30,860 --> 00:07:32,409
Point taken.
161
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,290
Uh, sleep well and prosper.
162
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,789
Thank God.
163
00:07:41,790 --> 00:07:45,250
All right, so where does
he keep his pillows?
164
00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:48,650
Pillows... Ah.
165
00:07:48,660 --> 00:07:49,740
Yeah.
166
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:55,959
Oh, hell no!
167
00:08:00,290 --> 00:08:02,292
I'm-a beam my foot up his ass.
168
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,819
Calvin, I'm telling you,
this is gonna work.
169
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,084
Wyatt is gonna love my ladyfingers.
170
00:08:09,085 --> 00:08:12,280
Yeah, I bet he's gonna
love your cookies, too.
171
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,250
Oh, hey, guys.
172
00:08:19,380 --> 00:08:20,959
Hey, there, Wyatt.
173
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,690
What you doing there?
174
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:26,209
Yeah, did we, uh, catch
you in a private moment?
175
00:08:26,210 --> 00:08:28,599
Oh, no, just churning some butter.
176
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:30,089
You want to take a tug?
177
00:08:30,090 --> 00:08:32,639
I most certainly do not.
178
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:36,559
Uh, yeah, Wyatt, we just
came by to officially say
179
00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:37,917
welcome to the neighborhood.
180
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:40,000
Oh, thanks, but no thanks.
181
00:08:40,010 --> 00:08:42,420
I don't know about you, but
my conscience won't allow me
182
00:08:42,430 --> 00:08:44,359
to support the sugar cartels.
183
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,939
Oh, well, I-I've never heard
of the sugar cartels.
184
00:08:46,940 --> 00:08:48,999
And yet, you're a soldier in their army.
185
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:53,750
L-Look, man, your rooster
has been crowing every night,
186
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,909
and no one around here
is getting any sleep.
187
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,740
Yeah, I hear you.
Beaker's a bit of a night owl.
188
00:08:58,750 --> 00:09:01,959
Which is funny because my
night owl is a real early bird.
189
00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:05,459
Great, then you'll do
something about it?
190
00:09:05,460 --> 00:09:06,900
Oh, no.
191
00:09:06,910 --> 00:09:08,240
Getting rid of Beaker would upset
192
00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:09,750
my delicate backyard ecosystem.
193
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,450
I don't want to play God.
194
00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:14,167
That is his/her/their business.
195
00:09:14,180 --> 00:09:16,599
You know what? That's it.
196
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:19,334
Old MacDonald is about
to get E-I-E-I-O'd.
197
00:09:19,335 --> 00:09:21,449
No, uh, Calvin, no.
198
00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:22,579
Hey, Wyatt,
199
00:09:22,580 --> 00:09:24,170
we all really appreciate
200
00:09:24,180 --> 00:09:25,558
what you're trying to do for the planet,
201
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:28,230
but, uh, you know, a-around here,
202
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,569
we look out for our neighbors.
203
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,440
Mm.
204
00:09:31,450 --> 00:09:33,970
Oops, got to go. It's feeding time,
205
00:09:33,980 --> 00:09:35,999
and Beaker hates to eat alone.
206
00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:39,539
Oh, keep your feathers on.
207
00:09:39,540 --> 00:09:41,750
I'm coming!
208
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:48,090
You were right.
We got to whack that bird.
209
00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:56,130
All right.
210
00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:58,689
- You ready to do this?
- Oh, yeah.
211
00:09:58,690 --> 00:10:00,459
Let's choke this chicken.
212
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,139
If we go to jail for this,
213
00:10:03,140 --> 00:10:05,280
you have got to stop talking like that.
214
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,199
- All right, let's go.
- Hold on.
215
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,280
Let me just get my pillow out.
216
00:10:10,290 --> 00:10:12,510
A pillow? W-Why a pillow?
217
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,150
This is a bird-napping, not a sleepover.
218
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:16,779
It's a part of my plan.
219
00:10:16,780 --> 00:10:19,210
Look, if we just steal the rooster,
220
00:10:19,220 --> 00:10:21,660
Wyatt is gonna know that
it was us, which is why...
221
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,792
we're gonna make it look
like a coyote attack.
222
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,584
Why would a coyote be carrying a pillow?
223
00:10:28,850 --> 00:10:30,570
No. When we get into the yard,
224
00:10:30,580 --> 00:10:32,438
we're gonna rip open the
pillow and throw feathers
225
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:33,459
all over the place.
226
00:10:33,460 --> 00:10:35,170
Then...
227
00:10:35,180 --> 00:10:37,990
we're gonna squirt this
fake blood everywhere.
228
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,418
After that, the only
thing that's left to do
229
00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:41,298
is to grab the rooster,
jam it in the pillowcase,
230
00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:43,792
and then go home to
a good night's sleep.
231
00:10:43,793 --> 00:10:45,250
Damn it, Dave.
232
00:10:46,350 --> 00:10:47,919
That's the most brilliant plan
233
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,160
- I've ever heard.
- That's what I'm saying.
234
00:11:13,350 --> 00:11:15,000
You knew there was a gate?
235
00:11:15,020 --> 00:11:19,209
Yeah. I was gonna say something,
but then I thought, "Why?"
236
00:11:21,570 --> 00:11:23,098
- Okay, so where is he?
- He's right over there,
237
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:25,329
- on top of the chicken coop.
- Ah.
238
00:11:25,330 --> 00:11:27,619
Standing guard over the ladies.
239
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:30,270
Respect, respect.
240
00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,840
Okay, you go grab him.
241
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,580
I'm gonna frame a coyote.
242
00:11:36,380 --> 00:11:37,959
Okay, Beaker...
243
00:11:39,250 --> 00:11:40,959
... this is nothing personal.
244
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,917
I just hate you and I want you to die!
245
00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:49,949
All right.
246
00:11:49,950 --> 00:11:52,329
- Get him, Calvin, get him!
- I'm trying.
247
00:11:52,330 --> 00:11:54,209
But this sucker's fast.
He must be free-range!
248
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,619
Calvin, quit messing around. Get him.
249
00:11:57,620 --> 00:11:58,940
Look, I'm trying.
250
00:11:58,950 --> 00:12:00,909
Okay, I got him, I got him.
251
00:12:00,910 --> 00:12:03,089
- Ooh.
- Calvin, nice work.
252
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,530
- That was amazing.
- I know.
253
00:12:04,540 --> 00:12:05,999
When it comes to chasing chickens,
254
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,779
it's all about the footwork.
255
00:12:07,780 --> 00:12:09,625
Come on. Let's get out
of here before, uh...
256
00:12:10,740 --> 00:12:11,749
... that happens.
257
00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:13,020
Go, go, go!
258
00:12:15,890 --> 00:12:17,119
Oh, hey, Mama.
259
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,119
- I'm surprised you're still here.
- Mm.
260
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,439
Well, I guess that's the
thing about surprises.
261
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:24,334
You never know when you're
gonna open a door and find one.
262
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,119
So, how was the comic book store?
263
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:28,730
- Oh, it was incredible.
- Mm?
264
00:12:28,740 --> 00:12:30,390
I got my shirt signed by two Klingons,
265
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:31,940
a Romulan and a Borg.
266
00:12:33,310 --> 00:12:34,710
Well, that's wonderful, baby.
267
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,205
- I'm glad you had fun.
- Yeah.
268
00:12:36,206 --> 00:12:37,873
How about you? Did you have a good nap?
269
00:12:37,874 --> 00:12:39,999
Well, I ended up not taking one.
270
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,209
Oh, why not?
271
00:12:41,230 --> 00:12:43,330
Well, you know, your place is so nice,
272
00:12:43,340 --> 00:12:45,199
I just got caught up doing other things,
273
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:48,670
like watching your big TV and
enjoying your beautiful view,
274
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:51,500
and finding you have a
damn washer and dryer!
275
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:58,830
What? There's a washer and dryer here?
276
00:12:59,830 --> 00:13:01,209
I can't believe you.
277
00:13:01,210 --> 00:13:02,749
Why would you lie to me?
278
00:13:02,750 --> 00:13:04,370
Uh, well, uh, technically, I didn't lie.
279
00:13:04,380 --> 00:13:06,590
I just withheld the truth,
which, according to Dad,
280
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,369
there's a big difference.
281
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:10,470
All these years I've been
doing your laundry
282
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,330
when you could've been
doing it your damn self?
283
00:13:12,340 --> 00:13:14,130
Actually, actually,
that's not true, either.
284
00:13:14,140 --> 00:13:15,698
See, 'cause I never learned
how to do my laundry,
285
00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:16,808
because you always did it for me.
286
00:13:16,810 --> 00:13:19,375
So, if you think about it,
this is kind of on you.
287
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:24,959
It's on me?
288
00:13:26,150 --> 00:13:28,069
No, no, no, it's-it's on me.
289
00:13:28,070 --> 00:13:30,409
It's on me.
290
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:31,949
Well, in that case,
291
00:13:31,950 --> 00:13:33,940
this is on you.
292
00:13:33,950 --> 00:13:36,010
Mama!
293
00:13:36,020 --> 00:13:38,249
Oh! Mama.
294
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:41,319
This is a collector's item.
Why would you do that?
295
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,789
To give you a reason to learn
how to do your own laundry.
296
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:46,040
And you better do it quick
before that stains.
297
00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:48,480
Oh, mama's log:
298
00:13:48,490 --> 00:13:49,630
payback!
299
00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,210
Wow.
300
00:13:59,220 --> 00:14:01,167
I've never really seen
a rooster up close.
301
00:14:02,020 --> 00:14:03,542
Yeah, me, neither.
302
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:05,869
They're weirdly kind of beautiful.
303
00:14:05,870 --> 00:14:07,749
Yeah, really is.
304
00:14:07,750 --> 00:14:09,709
Okay, now, go ahead and snap its neck.
305
00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:13,329
What?
306
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,084
I can't do it. I'm not a killer.
307
00:14:15,085 --> 00:14:17,489
I can't, either. I caught him.
308
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,830
He'd see it coming from me.
309
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,740
Uh-uh. Not me. I can't do it.
310
00:14:22,750 --> 00:14:24,558
Look, I know this is gonna
be hard for you to believe,
311
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,540
but I'm not as hard-core as I look.
312
00:14:28,340 --> 00:14:31,039
Okay. If you can't do it,
then I guess I'll do it.
313
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,210
Stand back.
314
00:14:32,220 --> 00:14:35,969
Let me show you how a
gangsta takes out a bird.
315
00:14:39,510 --> 00:14:41,000
Ah, ooh, ah.
316
00:14:45,209 --> 00:14:46,792
Ah...
317
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:06,709
- Ah, I can't.
- Why not?
318
00:15:06,710 --> 00:15:09,160
We made eye contact. I saw his soul.
319
00:15:10,590 --> 00:15:11,850
Saw whose soul?
320
00:15:11,860 --> 00:15:13,370
Uh, uh, Calvin's.
321
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,590
By the way, beautiful
soul, Calvin. Really.
322
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:21,670
Oh, my God. Did you two
steal that guy's rooster?
323
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,670
Okay, look, I know,
I know it seems crazy,
324
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,875
but we tried talking to Wyatt, and
he wouldn't do anything about it.
325
00:15:25,876 --> 00:15:27,759
Which is why we had to steal it.
326
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,829
And now neither one of
us can bring ourselves
327
00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:32,440
to send him to the big
chicken coop in the sky.
328
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,869
I can't believe you guys.
329
00:15:34,870 --> 00:15:37,699
You are two grown men,
330
00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:39,659
and you can't kill a rooster?
331
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:41,530
- Whoa! Whoa!
- Whoa!
332
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,450
Come on, it's no big deal.
333
00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:47,249
Back on the farm, I used
to kill chickens all the time.
334
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:48,369
You did?
335
00:15:48,370 --> 00:15:50,450
Trust me, once you've gone elbow-deep
336
00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:52,110
to inseminate a cow,
337
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,090
you can do pretty much anything.
338
00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:56,417
Wow.
339
00:15:56,420 --> 00:15:58,667
Tina won't even stick her
fingers in a bowling ball.
340
00:15:58,668 --> 00:16:00,409
Okay, okay, okay.
341
00:16:00,410 --> 00:16:02,709
Stop, please. I-I know what we can do.
342
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,050
We can drive him out to the country
343
00:16:05,060 --> 00:16:07,416
and leave him at a, at a real farm.
344
00:16:07,417 --> 00:16:08,914
You know what? That's a great idea.
345
00:16:08,915 --> 00:16:11,070
Stay here. I'm gonna go get a box.
346
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,760
You... keep an eye on her.
347
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:17,930
Come on, please, come
out, come out, come out!
348
00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:20,699
How's it going out here?
349
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:23,409
Terrible. The stain's spreading.
350
00:16:23,410 --> 00:16:26,439
Oh, well, I am so glad I
switched from red to white.
351
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,120
It pairs so much better with revenge.
352
00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:31,770
You know, how can you sit there
353
00:16:31,780 --> 00:16:33,490
and just watch me suffer like this?
354
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:34,800
You mean like how you sat
355
00:16:34,810 --> 00:16:36,792
and watched me do your
laundry for years?
356
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,028
That's not true. I never watched.
357
00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:39,550
I just dropped it off and left.
358
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,810
That's it. I give up.
359
00:16:43,820 --> 00:16:44,899
The shirt's ruined.
360
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:48,160
- I hope you're happy.
- No, I am not happy.
361
00:16:48,170 --> 00:16:51,370
My own son lied to me and
treated me like the help
362
00:16:51,380 --> 00:16:54,369
just because he was too damn
lazy to do his own laundry.
363
00:16:54,370 --> 00:16:56,124
Mom, I didn't lie to you
because I was lazy.
364
00:16:56,125 --> 00:16:57,699
Then why did you?
365
00:16:57,700 --> 00:16:59,749
I don't want to say.
366
00:16:59,750 --> 00:17:01,369
It's embarrassing.
367
00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:03,330
Marty, you went out in public
368
00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:05,720
dressed as an imaginary space captain.
369
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,600
The embarrassing ship has sailed.
370
00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:13,929
Fine.
371
00:17:13,930 --> 00:17:16,130
The truth is, the reason
I had you do my laundry
372
00:17:16,140 --> 00:17:18,459
is so I had an excuse to come home.
373
00:17:18,460 --> 00:17:20,600
What are you talking about?
374
00:17:20,610 --> 00:17:21,930
You don't need an excuse
375
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:23,750
- to come home.
- Yes, I do.
376
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,000
Mama, I'm a grown man living on my own.
377
00:17:26,010 --> 00:17:27,599
I'm not supposed to run home
378
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,450
every time I get lonely
and miss you guys.
379
00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:30,709
How does that look?
380
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,084
It looks like somebody
who loves his family.
381
00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:35,667
No, more like somebody
who can't live without them.
382
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,125
Marty, that's a good thing.
383
00:17:40,530 --> 00:17:42,390
Too many kids can't wait to grow up
384
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,360
and get out of their homes.
385
00:17:44,370 --> 00:17:46,229
And the fact that you love coming back
386
00:17:46,230 --> 00:17:49,429
means that we have something special.
387
00:17:49,430 --> 00:17:51,710
You should never be ashamed of that.
388
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:56,439
You're right, Mama.
389
00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:59,000
I'm sorry I lied to you.
390
00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:02,449
It's okay. I forgive you.
391
00:18:02,450 --> 00:18:04,479
That's why I'm gonna do this.
392
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,700
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
393
00:18:07,810 --> 00:18:09,910
Mama! Why'd you do that?
394
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,250
You said you forgave me.
395
00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:12,510
I do forgive you.
396
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:15,416
White wine is the only thing
that gets red wine out.
397
00:18:15,417 --> 00:18:17,750
Wait, so the shirt's gonna be okay?
398
00:18:17,770 --> 00:18:20,333
- Sure is.
- Okay, awesome.
399
00:18:20,334 --> 00:18:22,541
That means I won't look
ridiculous wearing it.
400
00:18:22,542 --> 00:18:24,209
I never said that.
401
00:18:26,340 --> 00:18:29,699
How's Beaker doing in there?
He seems pretty quiet.
402
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:32,779
He actually looks pretty comfortable.
403
00:18:32,780 --> 00:18:35,669
I think he knows that we're
taking him to a good home.
404
00:18:35,670 --> 00:18:38,130
Hopefully, one without
someone like Gemma.
405
00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:43,989
All I know is I'm looking forward
to a good night's sleep.
406
00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:46,417
Yeah, me, too.
407
00:18:46,430 --> 00:18:48,917
You don't feel bad about what
we're doing to Wyatt, do you?
408
00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:51,020
Hell no.
409
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,170
This guy gets what he deserves.
410
00:18:53,180 --> 00:18:57,510
Moving in with his stupid farm,
trying to save the Earth.
411
00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:58,880
I mean, if you ask me,
412
00:18:58,890 --> 00:19:01,209
- it's just plain selfish.
- Yeah.
413
00:19:01,210 --> 00:19:02,832
You know what? You're right.
414
00:19:02,833 --> 00:19:05,164
He was driving everyone
in the neighborhood nuts.
415
00:19:05,165 --> 00:19:07,819
You're damn straight.
W-We're the good guys here.
416
00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:09,999
Good guys? We're practically heroes.
417
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,710
Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying
that we deserve a holiday,
418
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,210
- but I wouldn't be mad at a parade.
- Yeah...
419
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,129
I mean, seriously, who
keeps a rooster, anyways?
420
00:19:19,130 --> 00:19:20,959
Yeah. Get yourself a dog.
421
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,980
That's a real pet.
422
00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:25,209
Did you ever have a dog?
423
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:29,049
Yeah. Yeah, his name was Duke.
424
00:19:29,050 --> 00:19:31,159
Best friend I ever had.
425
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:32,378
Don't you mean second best friend?
426
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:33,667
I said what I said.
427
00:19:36,130 --> 00:19:37,559
Well, what happened to him?
428
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:40,120
He ran away.
429
00:19:40,130 --> 00:19:44,119
I left the gate open one day,
and when I came home,
430
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:45,541
he was gone.
431
00:19:45,542 --> 00:19:47,869
Oh, man. That's awful.
432
00:19:47,870 --> 00:19:50,759
Yeah, broke my heart.
433
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,410
Yeah, but this-this is different.
434
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,120
Yeah, no, totally.
435
00:19:56,130 --> 00:19:59,299
I mean, just 'cause
Wyatt took him for walks
436
00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:02,499
and cared for him and...
437
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,410
gave him a name.
438
00:20:07,060 --> 00:20:08,875
- We're monsters!
- What have we done?!
439
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:10,109
I feel terrible.
440
00:20:10,110 --> 00:20:12,009
Yeah, me, too, man. You know what?
441
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,058
W-We got to get Beaker home.
442
00:20:13,060 --> 00:20:14,128
Yeah, turn the truck around.
443
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:15,959
- Hold onto the box.
- Okay.
444
00:20:17,540 --> 00:20:19,584
I miss you, Duke!
445
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:26,940
This is great.
446
00:20:26,950 --> 00:20:28,819
I've always wanted to
make my own butter.
447
00:20:28,820 --> 00:20:29,900
You know what they say.
448
00:20:29,910 --> 00:20:32,792
Once you go churn, you never return.
449
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,449
Oh, hey, Calvin. Check this out.
450
00:20:38,450 --> 00:20:41,700
Dave, please don't say my
name when you're doing that.
451
00:20:42,690 --> 00:20:44,123
Hey, you know, I'm really worried
452
00:20:44,124 --> 00:20:45,919
about my technique.
Am I doing this right?
453
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,750
Close. But do it like this.
454
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:51,709
Oh.
455
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:54,330
That's it. Tina!
456
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:55,760
Throw out the butter!
457
00:20:55,770 --> 00:20:57,959
From now on, I'm eating my toast dry!
458
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:04,209
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
33211
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.