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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,574 PAULA DOESN'T NEED TO WEAR MAKEUP. 2 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:17,280 SHE'S SUPER-BEAUTIFUL ALL ON HER OWN. 3 00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:19,348 [GASPS] 4 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:20,412 OH, HEY, JOHNNY. 5 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,610 UH, HI, PAULA. 6 00:01:21,681 --> 00:01:23,651 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY UNIBROW? 7 00:01:23,716 --> 00:01:27,086 OH...I LOVE IT. 8 00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:28,493 [CHUCKLES] THANKS. 9 00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:30,615 IT MAKES ME FEEL WILD AND FREE, 10 00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:32,690 JUST LIKE SALMA HAYEK IN FRIDA, 11 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,629 AND THAT'S HOW I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE, 12 00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:36,634 NOW THAT I'M TAKING AN ART CLASS 13 00:01:36,696 --> 00:01:38,326 AN ART CLASS, HUH? 14 00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:40,268 YES. IT'S FANTASTIC. 15 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,673 WE'RE GONNA STUDY THE HUMAN FORM. 16 00:01:42,735 --> 00:01:44,235 I LIKE TO DRAW. 17 00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:45,174 IT'S NOT JUST DRAWING. 18 00:01:45,238 --> 00:01:49,308 IT'S LOSING YOURSELF IN SOMEONE ELSE'S FLESH. 19 00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:52,105 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE, JOHNNY? 20 00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:52,708 NO. 21 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,479 WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW? 22 00:01:54,547 --> 00:01:56,647 YES, PAULA. YES, I WOULD! 23 00:01:56,716 --> 00:02:00,186 LOSING YOURSELF IN SOMEONE ELSE'S FLESH 24 00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:03,663 IS THE ULTIMATE IN SPIRITUAL AROUSAL. 25 00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:05,393 DO YOU AGREE, JOHNNY? 26 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,458 I DO! 27 00:02:06,526 --> 00:02:09,696 IT WILL BE THE CLIMAX OF MY ARTISTIC EXPRESSION. 28 00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:12,632 DO YOU WANT TO CLIMAX WITH ME, JOHNNY? 29 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:13,529 YES! 30 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,300 THEN, LET'S DO IT! 31 00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:17,368 OH, I'M READY, PAULA. 32 00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:19,667 [PANTING] LET'S...CLIMAX! 33 00:02:19,739 --> 00:02:20,409 OOH... 34 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:21,243 JOHNNY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 35 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,477 IF YOU WANTED TO BE A NUDE MODEL, 36 00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:25,553 ALL YOU HAD TO DO IS SAY SO. 37 00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:26,552 NUDE MODEL? 38 00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:28,383 YEAH. IT'S PERFECT TIMING 39 00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:31,278 BECAUSE, ACTUALLY, MY ART CLASS NEEDS ONE 40 00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:32,191 FOR THIS AFTERNOON. 41 00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:35,562 THIS IS SOMETHING WE CAN DO TOGETHER. 42 00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,462 I CAN DRAW YOU NAKED, 43 00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:39,394 AND YOU CAN JUST STAND THERE. 44 00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:42,299 HMM. GREAT. UHH. 45 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:43,362 OOH... 46 00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:44,499 WHAT'S WRONG, MAMA? 47 00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:47,504 IT'S NOT SOMETHING A MOTHER SHOULD DISCUSS WITH HER SON. 48 00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:50,667 GOOD, BECAUSE I WANT TO WATCH SOME BASEBALL ANYWAY. 49 00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:53,707 ♪ TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME ♪ 50 00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:55,343 FINE! I'LL TELL YOU. 51 00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:57,678 BUT DON'T BLAME ME IF IT MAKES YOU SQUIRM. 52 00:02:57,744 --> 00:02:58,484 YOU SEE, DOUGIE, 53 00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:01,205 MAMA LIKES A GOOD, DEEP DICKIN', 54 00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:04,581 BUT LATELY, EVEN A GANG BANG CAN'T FILL THE VOID. 55 00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:07,351 WHEN IN THE HELL DID I LOSE SIGHT OF LOVE?! 56 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:10,360 GET OUT OF THE WAY, MAMA. 57 00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:11,593 DAMN IT! 58 00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:13,358 WORK, DAMN IT! WORK! 59 00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:14,286 I'M MISSIN' THE GAME. 60 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,800 YOU FORGOT TO PAY THE CABLE BILL AGAIN, 61 00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:17,603 YOU IMBECILE. 62 00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:20,334 YEAH, WELL, NOTHING'S GONNA STOP ME 63 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,570 FROM WATCHING THE BIG GAME. 64 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:28,339 Paula: JOHNNY, WE'RE WAITING. 65 00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,378 YOU CAN TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF NOW. 66 00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:31,813 ISN'T IT MORE OF A CHALLENGE 67 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:34,708 TO DRAW SOMEONE WITH THEIR CLOTHES ON? 68 00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:35,681 NO. 69 00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:36,618 SHOW US YOUR TITS! 70 00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:38,283 WHAT'S THE PROBLEM NOW? 71 00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:41,421 OH...NO PROBLEM. 72 00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:42,761 Woman: JEEZ, THERE'S NOTHING TO DRAW. 73 00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:45,222 WE'RE NOT DOING STICK FIGURES HERE. 74 00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:46,361 [LAUGHTER] 75 00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:47,656 [TAKES DEEP BREATH] 76 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:48,827 [STRAINING] HOW'S THIS? 77 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,255 Man: BOO! 78 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,700 [LAUGHTER] 79 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,636 AH...THE PERFECT CRIME. 80 00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,572 Man: FREEZE! THIS IS THE POLICE. 81 00:03:57,637 --> 00:03:59,607 COME DOWN WITH YOUR HANDS UP! 82 00:03:59,672 --> 00:04:01,772 DAMN IT! YOU GOT ME. 83 00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:03,841 WHOA! UNH! 84 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,350 HO! 85 00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:08,749 OH, MY GOD, IT WORKS. 86 00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:11,475 TODAY'S TOPIC, THE SINGLES SCENE. 87 00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:13,391 HOW TO FIND THE PERFECT MATE. 88 00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:14,793 FORGET THE PERFECT MATE. 89 00:04:14,854 --> 00:04:18,324 I FOUND THE PERFECT... INMATE. 90 00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:19,331 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 91 00:04:19,392 --> 00:04:20,762 I USED TO CRUISE THE BARS, 92 00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:23,327 BUT I FOUND LOVE BEHIND THEM. 93 00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:25,396 YOU MEAN, LIKE, BY THE DUMPSTER? 94 00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:26,325 NO, SILLY WILLIE, 95 00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:28,769 I MEAN INCARCERATED MEN MAKE GREAT PARTNERS. 96 00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,695 THEY'RE DESPERATE, AND THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO, 97 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:33,840 SO THEY'LL PAY ATTENTION TO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY. 98 00:04:33,906 --> 00:04:35,676 YOU'RE ONLY AN E-MAIL AWAY. 99 00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,882 E-MAIL, HUH? HMM. 100 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:41,314 Man: IT'S LIKE HE JUST WENT SWIMMING. 101 00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:42,681 YOU'RE DOING GREAT, JOHNNY. 102 00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:45,449 Woman: HEY, JOHNNY, IS MR. TURTLE GONNA 103 00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:47,548 COME OUT OF HIS SHELL TODAY? 104 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,360 NO, HE'S NOT! 105 00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:51,762 YOU SCARED HIM AWAY. 106 00:04:51,824 --> 00:04:53,394 Woman: HI, DEAN McHOOTY. 107 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,659 HELLO, CLASS. I'M HERE TO ANNOUNCE AN ART COMPETITION. 108 00:04:55,728 --> 00:04:57,658 ONE STUDENT'S SKETCH WILL BE SELECTED 109 00:04:57,730 --> 00:04:58,500 FROM THOUSANDS OF ENTRIES, 110 00:04:58,564 --> 00:05:00,434 AND--AND WE'LL MAKE A STATUE OUT OF IT, 111 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:03,440 AND ERECT IT IN FRONT OF THE NEW ART BUILDING. 112 00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:04,703 Students: HOORAY! 113 00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:08,611 DEAN McHOOTY, WILL YOU CHECK MINE OUT FIRST? 114 00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:10,575 OF COURSE, MA'AM. 115 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,413 DO YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE? 116 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,708 YEAH. VERY MUCH SO. 117 00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,720 IN FACT, YOU'VE WON THE COMPETITION. 118 00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:18,622 CONSIDER THIS ART COMPETITION CLOSED. 119 00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:20,315 Students: HOORAY! 120 00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:24,316 UH, DEAR INMATE 427-926, 121 00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:27,560 SO, YOU'RE LOOKIN' FOR A PEN PAL, HUH? 122 00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:28,727 I'LL DO YOU ONE BETTER. 123 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:30,625 I'LL BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND. 124 00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:32,727 SEE, I'VE BEEN LOOKIN' FOR LOVE 125 00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:34,729 IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES, 126 00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:37,841 BUT THE ONE PLACE I NEVER LOOKED 127 00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:38,944 WAS JAIL. 128 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:42,535 TRADE IN YOUR CELLMATE FOR A SOUL MATE. 129 00:05:42,608 --> 00:05:47,948 SINCERELY, DAMSEL OF DEPRESSED. 130 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,654 IN YOU GO, JENKINS. 131 00:05:53,619 --> 00:05:54,549 FRESH MEAT. 132 00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:56,590 OH, MY GOD, YOU HAVE CABLE! 133 00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:58,756 THAT'S RIGHT, MEAT, WE DO. 134 00:05:58,825 --> 00:05:59,555 I'M HARVEY. 135 00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:02,555 I'M DOUG. YOU KNOW, I GOT LOCKED UP 136 00:06:02,628 --> 00:06:03,498 FOR TRYING TO WATCH THIS GAME. 137 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:06,373 YEAH, I GOT LOCKED UP FOR CHOPPING UP 2 GUYS 138 00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:07,902 WHO LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE YOU. 139 00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,767 SMALL WORLD, HUH, ESE? 140 00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:11,436 WHY'D YOU CHOP 'EM UP? 141 00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,414 SO THEY'D FIT IN THE BAG. 142 00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:14,313 MAKES SENSE. 143 00:06:14,373 --> 00:06:16,543 HOW'D YOU GET ALL THESE SPACE-AGE GADGETS? 144 00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:18,579 PEN PALS, BABY. PEN PALS. 145 00:06:18,644 --> 00:06:21,384 I WRITE TO LONELY WOMEN, AND WHENEVER I GET RAPED, 146 00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:23,947 THEY FEEL SORRY FOR ME, AND SEND ME MONEY. 147 00:06:24,016 --> 00:06:26,516 OH, BOY. I HOPE I GET RAPED. 148 00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,446 IT'S NOT AS FUN AS IT SOUNDS, 149 00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:29,591 BUT IT SURE PAYS. 150 00:06:29,655 --> 00:06:30,785 MAYBE I SHOULD GET A PEN PAL. 151 00:06:30,857 --> 00:06:32,927 HERE, GUERO, YOU CAN HAVE THIS ONE. 152 00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:33,932 I GOT TOO MANY ANYWAY. 153 00:06:33,993 --> 00:06:37,703 I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO MAKE SHANKS NO MORE. 154 00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,004 THANKS. WELL, LET'S SEE. 155 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,925 HERE'S ONE FROM DAMSEL OF DEPRESSED. 156 00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:42,771 YOU POOR BIRD, 157 00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:46,435 YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE SWEPT OFF YOUR FEET. 158 00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:49,676 HOW DO YOU SPELL "WIENER"? 159 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:51,636 HEY, JOHNNY. 160 00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:52,881 OH, HI, PAULA. 161 00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:55,945 YOU MADE A FANTASTIC NUDE MODEL. 162 00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:56,875 THANKS. 163 00:06:56,949 --> 00:06:57,619 GUESS WHAT. 164 00:06:57,683 --> 00:06:59,693 DEAN McHOOTY SAW MY SKETCH OF YOU 165 00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:02,722 AND DECIDED TO TURN IT INTO A STATUE. 166 00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:04,459 WHAT?! 167 00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:05,464 [CRASH] 168 00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:06,955 ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?! 169 00:07:07,026 --> 00:07:09,626 JOHNNY, AREN'T YOU HAPPY FOR ME? 170 00:07:09,695 --> 00:07:11,825 IT'S GOING UP IN FRONT OF THE ART BUILDING. 171 00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:13,528 IT'S A REAL HONOR FOR ME. 172 00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:16,599 BUT EVERYONE'S GOING TO SEE IT. 173 00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:17,699 EXACTLY. 174 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:21,670 MY SKETCH WILL GO DOWN IN COCONUT COLLEGE HISTORY. 175 00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:23,941 YIPPEE! [GIGGLES] 176 00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:25,010 ♪ SHAKE MY THING ♪ 177 00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:26,607 ♪ BA NA NA NA NA NA ♪ 178 00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:27,979 ♪ SHAKE MY THING, YEAH ♪ 179 00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:29,647 ♪ 'CAUSE YOU KNOW I CAN ♪ 180 00:07:29,715 --> 00:07:30,775 ♪ I'M GONNA SHAKE IT ♪ 181 00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:31,620 ♪ SHAKE IT ♪ 182 00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:33,624 ♪ SHAKE MY THING, 'CAUSE I CAN ♪ 183 00:07:33,686 --> 00:07:35,486 ♪ YES, YOU CAN, YES, I CAN ♪ 184 00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:37,815 THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME. 185 00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:39,860 I'M SUCH A GOOD BOY. 186 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:42,856 OHH, I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. 187 00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:44,599 "AND THAT IS WHY I NEED THE TiVo, 188 00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:47,674 "BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY GAMES ON AT THE SAME TIME, 189 00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:48,703 "AND I NEED TO WATCH 'EM. 190 00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:52,738 PLUS, LIKE YOU, I'M ALSO TIRED OF MEANINGLESS SEX." 191 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,465 WOW, THIS GUY REALLY UNDERSTANDS ME. 192 00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:56,781 "I WANT TO LOVE SOMEONE." 193 00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:59,883 ME, TOO, 427-926. 194 00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:02,616 ME, TOO! HEE HEE. 195 00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:04,582 "SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE TAKE THIS 196 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:05,690 TO THE NEXT LEVEL?" 197 00:08:05,751 --> 00:08:06,551 OH, YEAH. 198 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:10,489 I SOWED MY WILD OATS, AND I WANNA BE... 199 00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:14,486 MONA--MONON-A-GON-ON-GA... 200 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,700 MONOGAGAMUS? MAGA-- 201 00:08:16,762 --> 00:08:17,762 MONOGAMOUS. FUCK! 202 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:20,900 "ATTACHED IS A PICTURE OF ME WORKIN' OUT IN THE YARD 203 00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:21,897 "WITH A FRIEND. 204 00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:22,938 "THAT'S ME ON THE BOTTOM. 205 00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,812 "PLEASE SEND ME A PHOTO OF YOURSELF, AND A CHECK. 206 00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:28,642 "AND REMEMBER, THE PLAYOFFS ARE COMIN'. 207 00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:31,778 "AFFECTIONATELY, 427-926. 208 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,914 "P.S. I'M FALLIN' FOR YOU, 209 00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:35,780 SO YOU CAN CALL ME HARVEY NOW." 210 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:37,748 OOH! HE'S FALLING FOR ME. 211 00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:40,917 OK, NOW, LET'S CHECK OUT THE PHOTO. 212 00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:44,717 OH, MY GOD, WHAT A STUD! 213 00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:47,789 FUCK YOU, WORLD. 214 00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:49,530 YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MY GENERATION! 215 00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:53,095 [ANGUS SHOUTING INCOHERENTLY] 216 00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:55,597 OH, HEY, JOHNNY. 217 00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:57,538 WE WERE JUST PLAYING UNRULY ROCK STARS. 218 00:08:57,603 --> 00:08:59,013 GRAB A GUITAR. 219 00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:01,136 [SOBBING] 220 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,977 WHAT'S WRONG? YOU WANT TO PLAY BASS? 221 00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:06,052 THEY'RE GONNA ERECT A NAKED STATUE OF ME 222 00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:07,782 AT COCONUT COLLEGE. 223 00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:09,917 [LAUGHING] 224 00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:10,982 EXACTLY. 225 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,990 EVERYONE'S GONNA LAUGH AT ME. 226 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:14,952 EVERYONE LAUGHS AT YOU ANYWAY. 227 00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:16,691 I THOUGHT YOU'D BE USED TO IT BY NOW. 228 00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:18,816 THIS IS DIFFERENT. I'M NAKED. 229 00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,831 PEOPLE WILL LAUGH AT MY PEE-PEE. 230 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,033 UNTIL YOU START CALLING IT A DICK, 231 00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:23,034 NO ONE'S GONNA RESPECT YOU. 232 00:09:23,095 --> 00:09:26,665 I'VE GOTTA STOP THAT STATUE FROM BEING ERECTED. 233 00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:27,532 PLEASE HELP ME. 234 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,840 WELL, I HAVEN'T VANDALIZED ANYTHING 235 00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:30,742 FOR SOME TIME NOW. 236 00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:33,043 I DON'T KNOW. ANGUS, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 237 00:09:33,105 --> 00:09:36,705 ARE YOU UP FOR DESTROYING SOME UNIVERSITY PROPERTY? 238 00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:40,678 I'D SAY THAT'S A YES. 239 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:41,546 [CYNICAL LAUGH] 240 00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:45,584 "DEAR HARVEY, THANK YOU FOR YOUR E-MAIL. 241 00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,121 "BY THE LOOKS OF YOUR PHOTO, 242 00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:49,656 "IT LOOKS LIKE JAIL AGREES WITH YOU. 243 00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:53,592 "I WILL REMAIN CHASTE UNTIL YOUR RELEASE. 244 00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:58,659 SALUTATIONS, HANDMAIDEN OF HAPPINESS." 245 00:09:58,731 --> 00:10:00,871 LISTEN TO THAT. SHE CHANGED HER NAME. 246 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:04,143 "P.S. I'VE ATTACHED A PHOTO OF MYSELF. 247 00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:07,673 HOPE YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE." 248 00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:09,884 WOW, WHAT A HOT YOUNG BABE. 249 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:12,682 YEAH, SHE'LL PUT SOME CHEESE ON YOUR MEATBALLS. 250 00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:15,045 YOU KNOW, WHEN I FIRST STARTED THIS THING, 251 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,124 IT WAS ABOUT FREE MONEY, 252 00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:18,082 BUT OVER THE COURSE OF THIS AFTERNOON, 253 00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:20,820 I'VE LEARNED THAT SOMETIMES YOU CAN FALL IN LOVE 254 00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:22,186 WITH PEOPLE WHO GIVE YOU FREE MONEY. 255 00:10:22,254 --> 00:10:24,894 COÑO, SOUNDS LIKE BEING A PEN PAL 256 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:25,957 GIVES YOU AS MUCH PLEASURE 257 00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:29,155 AS SHANKIN' PEOPLE GIVES ME. 258 00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:31,098 OW! I'VE BEEN SHANKED! 259 00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:32,873 HARVEY! 260 00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:34,672 OK, LET'S GO OVER THIS PLAN 261 00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:35,744 ONE MORE TIME. 262 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,071 JOHNNY, ANGUS, AND I WILL GO FUCK UP THE STATUE-- 263 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,867 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHAT STATUE? 264 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:41,810 JESUS CHRIST! 265 00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:43,644 WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS, LIKE, A MILLION TIMES! 266 00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:46,049 WELL, WHY DON'T WE JUST PUT CLOTHES ON THE STATUE? 267 00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:49,052 IT WOULD BE FUN, LIKE DRESSING UP DOLLS. 268 00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:50,875 HERE'S THE NEW, SIMPLIFIED PLAN, OMAR. 269 00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:52,950 YOU SIT HERE AND DO NOTHING UNTIL WE GET BACK. 270 00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:55,759 OH, SURE, SIMPLE FOR YOU, MAYBE. 271 00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:57,661 Computer: YOU'VE GOT PRISON MAIL! 272 00:10:57,723 --> 00:10:59,663 HE WROTE ME BACK. 273 00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:00,585 OH... 274 00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:02,699 "MY LOVE FOR YOU GROWS STRONGER BY THE HOUR. 275 00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:06,032 "YOU AND THE POSSIBILITY OF A COLORADO CHAMPIONSHIP 276 00:11:06,098 --> 00:11:07,998 ARE THE ONLY THINGS KEEPING ME ALIVE." 277 00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:10,967 DUDE SAYS ALL THE RIGHT THINGS. 278 00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:12,737 "LIFE IN PRISON IS HARD, 279 00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:15,065 "ALTHOUGH THERE IS A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL MAN-LOVE. 280 00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:18,211 "ESPECIALLY SUNDAY NIGHTS AFTER QUEER AS FOLK. 281 00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:21,747 AND DID I MENTION I DON'T HAVE TiVo?" 282 00:11:22,281 --> 00:11:24,721 MY POOR BABY. 283 00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:27,894 NO ONE IN AMERICA SHOULD MISS THEIR SHOWS. 284 00:11:27,953 --> 00:11:33,193 [SEXY YOUNG VOICE] "I LONG FOR THE DAY THAT WE CAN CONSUMMATE OUR LOVE... 285 00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:36,229 [NORMAL HARSH VOICE] "BUT FOR NOW I'LL JUST HAVE TO SETTLE 286 00:11:36,295 --> 00:11:38,795 "FOR STIRRING UP MY OWN POT 287 00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:42,744 [SEXY YOUNG VOICE] AS I LOOK AT YOUR BEAUTIFUL PICTURE." 288 00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:44,942 AW. GUESS WHAT, HARVEY. 289 00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:46,814 SHE MASTURBATES TO MY PICTURE. 290 00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:49,012 SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT, MAN. 291 00:11:49,075 --> 00:11:50,835 WHY DON'T YOU SET UP A CONJUGAL VISIT, 292 00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,750 AND SHOW HER WHAT YOU LEARNED IN THE YARD? 293 00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:55,012 I'M NOT GONNA HAVE TO BEAT HER UP FIRST, AM I? 294 00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:57,251 NO, MAN, THEY GIVE YOU A ROOM AND SHIT. 295 00:11:57,316 --> 00:12:00,716 MAN, JAIL JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER. 296 00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:02,886 I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE. HEY HARVEY, 297 00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:04,155 HOW LONG YOU IN FOR? 298 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,793 40 YEARS TO LIFE. 299 00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:07,088 YOU LUCKY BASTARD. 300 00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:09,759 I SHOULD HAVE CHOPPED SOMEONE UP. 301 00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:12,133 [HUMMING] 302 00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:15,028 [HUMMING] 303 00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:16,871 [YAWNS, SIGHS, WHISTLES] 304 00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:19,806 HE'S GONE. THERE'S THE STATUE. 305 00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:24,143 Clay: ANGUS, GET THAT TORCH AWAY FROM MY BUTTHOLE! 306 00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:27,210 WHAT'S GOIN' ON UNDERNEATH THAT TARP? 307 00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:31,749 AAH! 308 00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:34,747 AAH-HA-HAAAAA! 309 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:36,220 AAH! AAH! 310 00:12:42,828 --> 00:12:44,758 [INSANE WAR CRY] 311 00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:45,970 WHEE! 312 00:12:46,031 --> 00:12:49,001 OMAR, START THE FUCKIN' CAR! 313 00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:50,898 I'M A GENIUS. 314 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,070 UNLOCK THE DOOR! 315 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:53,008 LET US IN! 316 00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:55,072 [GUARD SCREAMING] 317 00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:56,181 HURRY, OMAR! 318 00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:59,042 HANG ON. I THINK I'VE GOT IT. 319 00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:02,145 [GUARD SCREAMING] 320 00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:07,217 GOT IT. 321 00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:11,262 "CONJUGAL VISIT." 322 00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:13,033 MM-HMM, I LIKE IT A LOT. 323 00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:15,902 I'M FINALLY GONNA MAKE LOVE TO SOMEONE 324 00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:18,131 WHO REALLY CARES ABOUT ME. 325 00:13:18,197 --> 00:13:20,327 NOT JUST BLOW STRANGERS. 326 00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:23,339 "DEAR MR. FRISKY WHISKERS, 327 00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:26,912 "I WOULD LOVE TO CONJUGATE WITH YOU. 328 00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,812 "I SENT YOU A PIE WITH A SPECIAL FILLING. 329 00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:34,345 [CHUCKLES] "OH, I CAN'T WAIT TO TASTE YOUR SPECIAL FILLING. 330 00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:37,823 LOVE, IMPISHLY IMPATIENT." 331 00:13:37,883 --> 00:13:40,123 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT "SPECIAL FILLING" MEANS? 332 00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:44,016 IT'S CODE. CODE FOR APPLE. 333 00:13:44,089 --> 00:13:46,229 MY GOD, THIS ISN'T APPLE. 334 00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:48,162 IT'S MY FAVORITE CIGARS! 335 00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:50,157 DAMN IT, MY CODE'S ALL SCREWED UP. 336 00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:52,199 WHERE'S MY PRISON PIE DECODER RING? 337 00:13:52,264 --> 00:13:54,234 I LOANED IT TO JIMMY TWO PIES. 338 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:55,400 OH, WELL, THAT'S OK, THEN. 339 00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:58,097 JIMMY TWO PIES NEEDS IT MORE THAN I DO. 340 00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:59,140 WANT A CIGAR? 341 00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:01,365 CLARO. 342 00:14:03,475 --> 00:14:07,075 MY SHITHEAD SON WON'T EVEN MISS THESE. 343 00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:08,306 WHEN HARVEY MOVES IN, 344 00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:12,890 I THINK HE'LL BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL FOR DOUGIE. 345 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:16,189 YOU KNOW, STRAIGHTEN HIM OUT. 346 00:14:16,755 --> 00:14:18,215 THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, JOHNNY. 347 00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:20,230 YOUR FRIEND BLOWMAR BLEW OUR WHOLE PLAN. 348 00:14:20,292 --> 00:14:22,362 WELL, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD HIM 349 00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:23,298 TO START THE CAR. 350 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,232 AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LOOKS PATHETIC NAKED. 351 00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:26,297 WHOSE FAULT IS THAT? 352 00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,125 Doug: HOME RUN! 353 00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,074 HEY, THERE'S MY DAD. 354 00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:32,096 HI, DADDY! 355 00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:33,141 Prisoner: WHO'S YOUR DADDY, BITCH?! 356 00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:36,075 HEY, SON. I KNEW YOU'D END UP IN JAIL 357 00:14:36,141 --> 00:14:37,041 'CAUSE YOU'RE A LOSER! 358 00:14:37,109 --> 00:14:38,239 JOHNNY, HE'S CALLING YOU OUT. 359 00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:39,480 HE'S TRYING TO PUNK YOU. 360 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:40,275 DON'T LET HIM DO IT. 361 00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:42,106 YOU CAN'T SHOW ANY WEAKNESS IN JAIL. 362 00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:43,281 BUT HE'LL KILL ME. 363 00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:45,419 HOW? HE'S BEHIND BARS. 364 00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:47,424 OK. I'LL TRY. 365 00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:50,116 ♪ YOU LOOK STUPID ♪ 366 00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:51,989 HEH HEH HEH. HEY, DADDY, 367 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:54,087 YOU LOOK STUPID! [PRISONERS LAUGHING] 368 00:14:54,159 --> 00:14:56,299 JOHNNY, YOU'RE DEAD MEAT! 369 00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:57,032 GUARD, OPEN UP. 370 00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:58,496 I WANT TO GIVE MY SON A BEATING! 371 00:14:58,564 --> 00:14:59,604 I WAS JUST JOKING, DAD. 372 00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:03,935 HEY, IF YOU BACK DOWN NOW, YOU'LL ALWAYS BE HIS BITCH. 373 00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:06,173 TAKE IT FURTHER. 374 00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:07,912 IF YOU SAY SO. 375 00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:10,483 DRINKING A PINT OF SCOTCH EVERY NIGHT 376 00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:13,482 DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE NOT A FAILURE! 377 00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:14,505 THE HELL IT DOESN'T! 378 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,120 GODDAMN IT, I NEED A DRINK. 379 00:15:16,181 --> 00:15:18,451 IT'S NOT GONNA WORK THIS TIME, DAD. 380 00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:20,447 THERE'S NO SCOTCH IN JAIL! 381 00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:24,519 ACTUALLY, THERE'S A VERY FINE SELECTION. 382 00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:33,032 [SLURRING WORDS] JOHNNY, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE? 383 00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:34,998 YOU COME TO VISIT ME, SON? 384 00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:36,967 AW, THAT'S MY BOY. 385 00:15:37,036 --> 00:15:38,336 I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. 386 00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:39,414 THANKS, DAD. 387 00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:41,071 THANK YOU, JOHNNY. 388 00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:43,340 THANK YOU FOR BEING MY BOY. 389 00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:44,339 [SNIFFLES] 390 00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:47,080 HEY, YOUR SON HAS GOT QUITE A NOSE ON HIM, HUH? 391 00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:50,976 I THINK BOTH OF MY NUTS WOULD FIT PERFECT-- 392 00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:52,450 WHO'S THERE?! 393 00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,348 [RINGING] 394 00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,220 WELL, TODAY'S THE BIG DAY! 395 00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:58,518 I AIN'T NEVER DONE IT IN A PRISON. 396 00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:01,430 YOU READY DOWN THERE? 397 00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:05,297 OH, WELL, I'LL OIL UP BEFORE I GO. 398 00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:07,574 TIME TO CHANGE MY UNDERWEAR... 399 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:11,573 PUT ON THE SEXY STUFF FOR MY HARVEY. 400 00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:16,484 [SNIFFING] 401 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:19,452 THESE CAN GO BACK IN THE DRAWER. 402 00:16:19,511 --> 00:16:22,981 SHIT, THESE ARE ALL DIAPERS! 403 00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:30,020 [LAUGHING] 404 00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:31,589 YEAH...HEH HEH HEH. 405 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:34,187 OH, MAN, THIS INSIPID, DERIVATIVE 406 00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:38,059 SLAPDASH ASSEMBLAGE OF DISCORDANT HUES 407 00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:41,130 AND PERSPECTIVES, MAN, IS AN INSULT TO THE EYES, 408 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,470 AND A LAXATIVE TO THE SOUL. 409 00:16:43,535 --> 00:16:46,265 I POOH-POOH THIS MURAL. 410 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:49,208 Clay: LOOKS LIKE HE'LL BE OUT FOR A WHILE. 411 00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:50,244 YEAH... 412 00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:51,009 WHAT'S WRONG NOW? 413 00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:53,006 I JUST WISH I COULD TALK TO OMAR-- 414 00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:54,548 TELL HIM TO DESTROY THE STATUE 415 00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:56,553 BEFORE THE UNVEILING. 416 00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,479 KNOCK YOURSELF OUT. 417 00:16:58,550 --> 00:17:00,150 OH, THANKS, CLAY! 418 00:17:00,219 --> 00:17:02,189 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 419 00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:05,324 HEY, OMAR. HI, JOHNNY. HOW'S JAIL? 420 00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:07,231 NEVER MIND. I NEED YOU 421 00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:09,332 TO GO DESTROY THE STATUE. 422 00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:09,995 I DON'T KNOW. 423 00:17:10,062 --> 00:17:12,062 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DESTROY. 424 00:17:12,131 --> 00:17:13,571 I'M ALL ABOUT LOVE. 425 00:17:13,632 --> 00:17:15,432 WORD. BUT DO IT FOR ME. 426 00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,401 JUST PRETEND YOU'RE THE CORONA BROTHERS 427 00:17:17,469 --> 00:17:19,039 AND THE STATUE IS YOU. 428 00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:21,044 OH, LIKE, BEAT IT UP? 429 00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:21,766 YES! 430 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,110 ALL RIGHT, JOHNNY, I'LL GET ON IT 431 00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:25,035 AS SOON AS I FIGURE OUT WHERE I AM. 432 00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:28,510 I'M A LITTLE TURNED AROUND AT THE MOMENT. 433 00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:29,520 [CRASH] 434 00:17:29,581 --> 00:17:31,451 IT'S ALL TAKEN CARE OF. 435 00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:33,417 WHEW. WHAT A RELIEF. 436 00:17:33,485 --> 00:17:36,615 NOW I CAN JUST SIT BACK, RELAX, 437 00:17:36,688 --> 00:17:38,418 AND ENJOY MY SENTENCE. 438 00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:41,060 JENKINS, YOU GOT A VISITOR. 439 00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:43,060 YOU GOT THIS? 440 00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:44,658 UH, CERTAINLY. RIGHT THIS WAY. 441 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:50,170 UH, THIS IS FOR YOUR GREAT, GREAT GRANDDAUGHTER, RIGHT? 442 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:53,065 NO, MISSY, IT'S FOR ME! 443 00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:54,638 [GIGGLES, SIGHS] 444 00:17:54,706 --> 00:17:56,436 OH, YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE CRAZY OLD LADIES 445 00:17:56,508 --> 00:17:59,078 WHO THINKS THEY'RE YOUNG AND SHIT, RIGHT? 446 00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:01,214 JUST GIMME THAT! 447 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,350 THE CORONA BROTHERS, HUH? 448 00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,115 "OMAR, YOU DUMBSHIT, 449 00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:07,494 "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS EVERY DAY! 450 00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:10,663 "I'M GONNA SAW YOUR HEAD OFF UNTIL IT FALLS OFF! 451 00:18:10,722 --> 00:18:12,322 HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?!" 452 00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:15,531 I'M ONE SEXY MAMA! 453 00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:20,103 OH, MY GOD! 454 00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:22,095 YOUR BRA STRAP'S GONNA BLOW! 455 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:25,137 IT'S NOT A LOAD-BEARING BRA! 456 00:18:25,204 --> 00:18:26,174 OW! 457 00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:28,368 SHIT, IT NEVER HIT THE GROUND BEFORE. 458 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,240 UH, A LITTLE HELP? 459 00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:32,679 FINE! I'LL GO GET THE STOCK BOYS, 460 00:18:32,744 --> 00:18:35,484 YOU SLOPPY OLD CRAZY BITCH! 461 00:18:35,547 --> 00:18:37,317 OH! 462 00:18:37,749 --> 00:18:38,379 HI, PAULA. 463 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:41,150 JOHNNY, THEY TOLD ME YOU TRIED 464 00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:42,420 TO DEFACE MY STATUE, 465 00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:44,258 BUT I DIDN'T BELIEVE THEM. 466 00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:45,593 TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE. 467 00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:49,227 WOULD IT REALLY BE SO BAD IF I DID? 468 00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:50,104 WELL, I DON'T KNOW. 469 00:18:50,162 --> 00:18:52,702 IS IT SO BAD GETTING STABBED IN THE BACK 470 00:18:52,764 --> 00:18:54,174 BY YOUR BEST FRIEND? 471 00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:56,673 IS THAT SO BAD?! YOU TELL ME. 472 00:18:56,735 --> 00:18:58,565 WE WEREN'T SUCCESSFUL. 473 00:18:58,637 --> 00:18:59,707 YOUR STATUE'S FINE. 474 00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:02,511 WHY DID YOU WANT TO RUIN IT ANYWAY? 475 00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:04,744 YOU DON'T THINK I'M A GOOD ARTIST? 476 00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,180 IS THAT IT? 477 00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:07,405 OF COURSE NOT. [SOBS] 478 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:10,279 I WAS EMBARRASSED TO BE NAKED. 479 00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:12,249 DON'T LIE TO ME. 480 00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:13,417 WHEN YOU GOT THAT ERECTION 481 00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:14,545 AT THE THOUGHT OF MODELING NUDE, 482 00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:17,260 YOU TOLD THE WORLD HOW MUCH YOU WANTED IT. 483 00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:22,492 YOU'RE A BIG FAT LIAR, JOHNNY JENKINS! 484 00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:23,828 CLAY, GIVE ME YOUR PHONE. 485 00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:27,426 I'VE GOTTA STOP OMAR FROM DEFACING THE STATUE. 486 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,499 KNOCK YOURSELF OUT. 487 00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:31,668 OMAR! OH, HEY, JOHNNY. 488 00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:34,337 DID YOU DEFACE THAT STATUE YET? 489 00:19:34,406 --> 00:19:35,206 I'M ALMOST DONE. 490 00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:38,584 I'M DEFACING IT AS WE SPEAK, MY FRIEND. 491 00:19:38,644 --> 00:19:41,184 IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU LISTEN 492 00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:43,216 TO MY NEXT SENTENCE, OMAR? 493 00:19:43,282 --> 00:19:45,222 AAH! I'VE BEEN SHANKED! 494 00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:46,184 HA HA! 495 00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:48,391 THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO CALL YOUR OLD MAN STUPID! 496 00:19:48,453 --> 00:19:53,563 DARN IT! NOW PAULA'S NEVER GONNA FORGIVE ME. 497 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:54,585 YOU GUYS ARE FREE TO GO. 498 00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:55,590 BUT WHY? 499 00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:57,331 WELL, THE MAXIMUM SENTENCE 500 00:19:57,396 --> 00:19:58,126 FOR GETTING CAUGHT UNDER A TARP 501 00:19:58,196 --> 00:20:00,226 IS 4 HOURS IN THE STATE PENITENTIARY. 502 00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:01,799 YOU PAID YOUR DEBT TO SOCIETY. 503 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:02,727 THIS IS GREAT! 504 00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:05,371 WE COULD STILL GET TO THE UNVEILING IN TIME 505 00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:07,467 TO STOP OMAR. 506 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:08,509 Guard: YOU'RE FREE TO GO, TOO. 507 00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:10,544 IN FACT, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE 2 DAYS AGO. 508 00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:12,579 STEALING CABLE IS ONLY A 2-DAY STINT. 509 00:20:12,644 --> 00:20:14,254 WE OWE YOU A 2-DAY CRIME. 510 00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:15,353 I DON'T WANNA GO. 511 00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:17,354 YOU GUYS HAVE GOT THE SPORTS PACKAGE. 512 00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:18,616 I'LL MISS ALL THE GAMES. 513 00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:21,254 HOW MUCH WOULD ARGUING WITH THE GUARD GET ME? 514 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:22,420 AN EXTRA COUPLE OF DAYS. 515 00:20:22,487 --> 00:20:23,617 NO, IT WON'T. YES, IT WILL. 516 00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:27,229 NO, IT WON'T. THAT'S IT. BACK YOU GO. 517 00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:29,232 THANKS. I WILL NOTE THAT "THANKS." 518 00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:32,564 SHAVE SOME TIME OFF YOUR SENTENCE. DAMN IT! 519 00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,265 HOME RUN! 520 00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:39,737 HEY, HARVEY, YOUR CONJUGAL'S HERE. 521 00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:40,505 OOH, THAT'S MINE. 522 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,312 YOU GUYS ARE SWAPPIG CONJUGALS NOW? 523 00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:44,675 AW, THAT'S CUTE. 524 00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:46,653 Dean McHooty: INSULT TO THE EYES, 525 00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:48,652 AND A LAXATIVE TO THE SOUL. 526 00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:51,254 I POOH-POOH THIS MURAL. 527 00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:53,646 GRR... 528 00:20:58,657 --> 00:21:00,257 THIS IS YOUR ROOM. 529 00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:02,625 HARVEY WILL BE HERE IN A MINUTE. 530 00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:05,595 FANTASTIC! 531 00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:07,534 I'LL JUST TURN OFF THE LIGHTS FOR YOU. 532 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:08,769 MAYBE YOU'LL HAVE A BETTER SHOT. 533 00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:11,544 EAT SHIT, TURNKEY. 534 00:21:13,338 --> 00:21:14,668 [CHUCKLING CYNICALLY] 535 00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:16,780 McHooty: HEY, IT'S THE VANDALIZER. 536 00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:20,412 YOUR CROP CIRCLE SUCKS, FUCK FACE! 537 00:21:20,479 --> 00:21:22,349 [CHATTERING ANGRILY] 538 00:21:22,414 --> 00:21:24,554 DON'T GET EXCITED... 539 00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:27,616 [HOLDING BREATH] HAVE SOME OF THAT. 540 00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:33,433 [BELL RINGS] 541 00:21:33,492 --> 00:21:35,592 IN THIS CORNER, 542 00:21:35,661 --> 00:21:38,331 THE SIRE OF SECOND GUESSES, 543 00:21:38,397 --> 00:21:39,697 THE KNIGHT OF NEEDINESS, 544 00:21:39,765 --> 00:21:41,765 THE PHARAOH OF FEAR, 545 00:21:41,833 --> 00:21:45,343 UNCERTAIN ANGUS! 546 00:21:45,404 --> 00:21:46,814 [FRIGHTENED GROANS] 547 00:21:46,872 --> 00:21:49,572 AND IN THE CORNER TO MY LEFT, 548 00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:51,911 THE MONARCH OF MIDDLE FINGERS, 549 00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:54,907 THE DUKE OF DON'T GIVE A SHIT, 550 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,380 THE BARON OF BALLS, 551 00:21:57,449 --> 00:22:01,619 COCKSURE ANGUS! 552 00:22:01,687 --> 00:22:03,517 [GRUNTS] 553 00:22:04,122 --> 00:22:07,362 ALL RIGHT, NOW, I WANT A CLEAN FIGHT. 554 00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:14,804 [BOTH GRUNTING, CHATTERING] 555 00:22:23,742 --> 00:22:25,582 ANGUS, DON'T LET HIM UNDERMINE YOU. 556 00:22:25,644 --> 00:22:27,454 IT'S NOT IMPORTANT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK, 557 00:22:27,512 --> 00:22:29,352 ESPECIALLY THAT LARDASS DEAN McHOOTY. 558 00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:31,954 TAKE IT FROM ME, WHEN I WAS 4 YEARS OLD, 559 00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:33,747 I COULDN'T EVEN DUNK A BASKETBALL, 560 00:22:33,819 --> 00:22:35,489 BUT I KEPT TRYING. 561 00:22:35,554 --> 00:22:36,624 BY THE TIME I WAS 6, 562 00:22:36,688 --> 00:22:37,918 I WAS DOIN' WINDMILLS OVER GUYS 563 00:22:37,989 --> 00:22:39,419 THREE TIMES MY SIZE. 564 00:22:39,491 --> 00:22:41,631 IF HE GETS ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR BELT, 565 00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:42,863 YOU FALL DOWN IN PAIN. 566 00:22:42,928 --> 00:22:44,528 THEY'LL TAKE A POINT AWAY FROM HIM. 567 00:22:44,596 --> 00:22:47,796 THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU COME AWAY WITH A WIN, 568 00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:51,696 NO MATTER HOW CHEAP THE VICTORY IS. 569 00:23:03,482 --> 00:23:04,922 PULL YOUR TRUNKS UP HIGHER! 570 00:23:04,983 --> 00:23:05,823 A POINT'S A POINT. 571 00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:07,994 WHAT KIND OF FERRET TO YOU WANT TO BE? 572 00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:10,893 AN ASS KICKER OR A PUSSY? 573 00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:15,794 [BOTH GROANING] 574 00:23:15,861 --> 00:23:16,931 UNH! 575 00:23:16,995 --> 00:23:18,655 COME ON, ANGUS, FUCK HIM UP! 576 00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:19,930 [GROANS] 577 00:23:19,998 --> 00:23:22,668 [STRAINING] 578 00:23:32,511 --> 00:23:34,811 I NEVER KNEW THE CORONA BROTHERS 579 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:35,980 HAD IT SO TOUGH. 580 00:23:36,047 --> 00:23:37,817 SAWING MY HEAD OFF IS HARD WORK. 581 00:23:37,883 --> 00:23:40,823 I SHOULD SEND THOSE GUYS A MUFFIN BASKET. 582 00:23:40,886 --> 00:23:42,416 OMAR? 583 00:23:42,487 --> 00:23:45,857 HOLD ON. I'M ALMOST DONE. 584 00:23:46,691 --> 00:23:47,931 THERE YOU GO, JOHNNY. 585 00:23:47,993 --> 00:23:51,563 I DID IT. I SAVED THE DAY! 586 00:23:51,630 --> 00:23:53,900 NICE. 587 00:23:59,037 --> 00:24:00,067 JOHNNY, LET'S GO. 588 00:24:00,138 --> 00:24:01,968 YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HERE WHEN THE STATUE IS UNVEILED. 589 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,680 THE LAUGHTER WILL BE DEAFENING. 590 00:24:03,742 --> 00:24:04,912 BUT I WANT TO BE HERE 591 00:24:04,976 --> 00:24:06,946 TO SHARE PAULA'S BIG MOMENT WITH HER. 592 00:24:07,012 --> 00:24:09,952 OK. IF WE STAY, YOU BETTER BRACE YOURSELF. 593 00:24:10,015 --> 00:24:12,515 McHooty: WELCOME, EVERYONE, TO THE UNVEILING 594 00:24:12,584 --> 00:24:15,494 OF COCONUT COLLEGE'S FIRST STATUE 595 00:24:15,554 --> 00:24:17,964 DESIGNED BY OUR VERY OWN FRESHMAN 596 00:24:18,023 --> 00:24:19,993 PAULA WISCONSIN. 597 00:24:20,058 --> 00:24:21,858 [APPLAUSE] 598 00:24:21,927 --> 00:24:25,597 AND NOW FOR THE UNVEILING. 599 00:24:25,664 --> 00:24:27,574 [ALL GASP] 600 00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:30,000 [CHEERING] 601 00:24:30,068 --> 00:24:32,468 IT'S RESPLENDENT, MAN. 602 00:24:32,537 --> 00:24:34,637 A TRIUMPH OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT. 603 00:24:34,706 --> 00:24:36,536 I MEAN, IT COMPLETELY TRANSCENDS 604 00:24:36,608 --> 00:24:39,038 THAT CRAP SKETCH OF PAULA'S. 605 00:24:40,045 --> 00:24:41,575 TA-DA! 606 00:24:41,646 --> 00:24:44,646 THAT'S NOT MY FACE. I'M SAVED. 607 00:24:44,716 --> 00:24:47,746 JOHNNY, I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING NOW. 608 00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:49,919 YOU WEREN'T TRYING TO DEFACE IT. 609 00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:52,588 YOU WERE TRYING TO IMPROVE IT. 610 00:24:52,657 --> 00:24:54,627 YOU'RE A REAL ARTIST. 611 00:24:54,693 --> 00:24:57,803 YOU DESERVE THIS. 612 00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:02,104 WE'RE BOTH SALMA HAYEK NOW-- 613 00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:05,567 WILD AND FREE! 614 00:25:06,638 --> 00:25:07,768 GO GET 'EM, JENKINS. 615 00:25:07,839 --> 00:25:10,979 I'M COMIN' FOR YOU, BABY! 616 00:25:11,243 --> 00:25:14,013 [PASSIONATE MOANING, KISSING, GRUNTING] 617 00:25:14,079 --> 00:25:16,719 Doug: SOMETHING TASTES UNHOLY. 618 00:25:16,781 --> 00:25:17,921 Grandma: DOUGIE? 619 00:25:17,983 --> 00:25:19,683 MAMA? 620 00:25:19,751 --> 00:25:22,551 AAH! AAH! 621 00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:24,788 YOU'RE NOT HARVEY. 622 00:25:24,856 --> 00:25:26,586 AND YOU'RE NOT A LINGERIE MODEL! 623 00:25:26,658 --> 00:25:28,828 THIS WAS JUST A CRAZY MIX-UP. 624 00:25:28,894 --> 00:25:31,704 BUT, MAMA, WE WERE...KISSING. 625 00:25:31,763 --> 00:25:34,773 YEAH, WELL, I'M SURE YOUR MOUTH HAS BEEN 626 00:25:34,833 --> 00:25:36,673 A LOT WORSE PLACES. 627 00:25:36,735 --> 00:25:38,665 I KNOW MINE HAS. 628 00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:39,974 THAT WAS QUICK. 629 00:25:40,038 --> 00:25:42,038 YOU EVEN GET YOUR PICKLE INTO HER JAR? 630 00:25:42,107 --> 00:25:44,637 NO...IT WAS MY MAMA. 631 00:25:44,709 --> 00:25:46,649 THAT'S HOT. 632 00:25:46,699 --> 00:25:51,249 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 42696

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