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1
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:03,001
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:33,865
Hey! How come you guys
aren't goin' at it?
3
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:36,368
Shawnie, you don't
understand what
I got here.
4
00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,437
I mean, once you
start up this engine,
5
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:40,372
it's nonstop
to Puerto Rico.
6
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,008
Well, isn't he romantic?
7
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,843
I don't even know
what he's talking about.
8
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:47,679
That's right.
Papa don't make sense.
9
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:49,915
(SIGHS)
10
00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:52,517
I hate this job!
11
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,385
"Rachel, the shower drain's
clogged!"
12
00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:56,654
"Rachel, somebody
puked in the hall!
Go clean it up."
13
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,891
"Rachel, the candy machine's
out of corn nuts!"
14
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,960
It is? Well, fix it!
15
00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:04,796
I am a resident adviser,
I'm not a vending-machine
stuffer!
16
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:08,333
I took this job for the one
stinking perk they give you.
Do you know what that is?
17
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,368
Great roommate?
A parking spot!
18
00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:12,004
That's what I get.
19
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,606
A place to park
my little Beetle
near my room.
20
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:17,375
I've never seen
our favorite
redhead so fiery.
21
00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:18,510
I like it!
22
00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:20,879
I had to walk
a mile and a half
23
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:23,915
because of some
stupid, selfish,
spot-grubbing moron!
24
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,984
Maybe the moron
didn't know it was yours.
25
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:28,987
You!
26
00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:32,157
You parked in my spot?
27
00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:33,592
Don't have a hissy fit.
28
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,728
If you don't move your car
right now,
29
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:39,564
I will use my power as RA
to see that you do so!
30
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:42,200
Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
31
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:46,071
What are you gonna do,
ban me from the soda machine?
32
00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:48,273
Revoke my
corn nut privileges?
33
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,409
Oh! She can't do that!
34
00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:52,010
Because there aren't any!
35
00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:54,213
(BOTH LAUGHING)
36
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,381
Okay! That's it!
You're breaking
rules right now
37
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,882
because you're
in the dorms after hours!
38
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,519
I'm banning you
from the dorm.
Get out!
39
00:02:00,588 --> 00:02:02,353
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
40
00:02:04,058 --> 00:02:06,157
Can she do that?
I just did!
41
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,025
Goodbye.
42
00:02:08,094 --> 00:02:10,495
I am shocked
and dismayed.
43
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:11,663
Well, now,
you can't be both.
44
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,365
You be shocked,
I'll be dismayed.
45
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:17,636
Wifey, we're leaving!
Walk behind me!
46
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,103
I'm staying!
47
00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:23,208
You hear that, shocked?
48
00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:24,776
She's stayin'.
49
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,483
You are gonna be sorry,
homewrecker.
50
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:35,320
Oh, yeah.
51
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:42,527
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh, what?
52
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:45,364
Trust me. Rachel,
I've known Cory and Shawn
longer than you have.
53
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:46,998
You do not want
to make them upset.
54
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:48,433
Oh, I'm not scared of them.
55
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:50,735
Well, maybe you should be.
They're maniacs.
56
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,939
(CAR ALARM BLARING)
57
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,674
(CAR HORN HONKING)
58
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,248
ANGELA: Uh, Rachel!
59
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:11,222
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Step away from the car.
60
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,225
(SCREAMING)
61
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,495
(ECHOING)
62
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:20,164
(CHUCKLING)
63
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,269
There they are!
64
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:26,571
Hey, hey, hey!
Mr. Feeny!
65
00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:28,039
Angela!
66
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,242
Resident Adviser McGuire.
67
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:32,211
Good morning, Angela.
My Angela.
68
00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:33,478
Shut it!
69
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:34,712
Are you mad at me?
70
00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,348
I nearly broke my toe
71
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:39,183
trying to get over a car
on the way to the closet!
72
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:40,485
A car?
73
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,287
BOTH: In your room?
74
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:45,591
Isn't that a violation
of dorm rules?
75
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,192
We should report her
to the authorities.
76
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,594
But she is
the authorities.
77
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,763
BOTH: There's a car
in your room, lady!
78
00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:56,234
Oh, you both think
you're so clever,
don't you?
79
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:57,535
BOTH: Yeah, pretty much.
80
00:03:57,604 --> 00:04:00,038
But you're clever.
But you're clever.
81
00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:01,206
Get 'em, Feeny!
82
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:05,243
Gentlemen, this kind of
behavior is juvenile
83
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:08,947
and unbefitting
of college sophomores.
84
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:10,482
Did you really put
a car in her room?
85
00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:12,417
That's great!
86
00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:18,923
However,
these kinds of antics
will not be tolerated.
87
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,627
How did you do it?
(CHUCKLES)
88
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,464
Feeny, Feeny,
looky, looky!
Looky, looky!
89
00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:26,565
Mr. Feeny!
90
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:27,999
I'm sorry, Miss McGuire,
91
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,601
but there are no rules
on the books
92
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,369
about putting cars
in rooms.
93
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,939
Was there loud music
emanating from the car?
94
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:35,573
No.
95
00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:37,242
Then you got nothin'.
96
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:39,311
They set off my alarm
to wake me up!
97
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,948
Well, now, that's
just plain brilliant!
98
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:45,450
(ALL LAUGH)
99
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,452
You're not going to
teach them a lesson?
100
00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:50,655
No. And you
can't make me.
101
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:53,625
Okay. For the past two years,
I've had to endure
all these stories
102
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:56,227
about the great Mr. Feeny
and his amazing lessons,
103
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,296
and now, they put
a Volkswagen in my room,
104
00:04:58,364 --> 00:05:00,431
and you have not
one lousy lesson?
105
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:01,800
All right,
here's a lesson.
106
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:03,835
Relax. Take a nice drive
107
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:05,903
into your closet!
108
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,205
(ALL LAUGHING)
Feeny!
109
00:05:08,274 --> 00:05:10,208
That's my boy!
Let me have it!
110
00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:12,611
You all disgust me!
111
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:15,847
Oh, can it, McGuire,
they got you. Ha-ha!
112
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:17,916
That's great.
113
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:19,551
(SIGHS)
114
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:23,121
Well, I hope you know
this means war.
115
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,522
War?
With us?
116
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:27,359
Trust me, babe,
you don't want
to go there.
117
00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:30,661
Cory and Shawn are undefeated
in matters such as these.
118
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:33,064
Did you see how I referred
to myself in the third
person for emphasis?
119
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:35,000
I thought that was
a nice touch.
Cory did, too.
120
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,834
Don't be so sure
of yourselves.
121
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:39,938
You've never tangled
with Rachel McGuire before.
122
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,773
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
123
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,080
Okay.
124
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,048
(MIMICKING) Okay.
125
00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:51,983
Let's just consider this
a little preview
of things to come.
126
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,019
Okay. Come... Oh.
127
00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:57,055
All right!
128
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,456
All right!
129
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:03,594
You know what, Shawn? I...
I think I'm melting.
130
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,866
Oh, honey, please, please.
Do something at least
a little clever.
131
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:25,883
Your loss.
132
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:28,586
Guys, what is
going on here?
133
00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:30,589
They parked my car
in our room.
134
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:31,823
Nice one!
135
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:32,991
Yeah!
Yeah!
136
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,427
We dedicate it to you.
Aw.
137
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:37,695
BOTH: Topanga!
138
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,163
I warned you.
139
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:42,400
Topanga, join our side
and teach these guys
a lesson!
140
00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:44,402
Sorry, guys,
I have to go with them.
141
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:45,904
Good move.
Go with the experience.
142
00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:47,806
They need me more.
They're just not as smart.
143
00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:48,974
BOTH: Yeah.
144
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,575
Hey!
145
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:53,144
(CHUCKLES) Just kidding.
I would never want to bet
against you and Shawn.
146
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:55,546
Wait a minute.
This isn't fair.
Two against three.
147
00:06:55,615 --> 00:06:57,281
We need more troops!
You're right.
148
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,584
We need someone
highly intelligent.
149
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,386
Cagey with a crafty mind.
150
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,321
(GRUNTING)
151
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,960
You know what, Jack,
I'm having trouble
opening this jar.
152
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:11,763
That's because
it's a can.
153
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:15,567
We choose you!
154
00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:17,068
No, choose me!
155
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:19,504
You have to be on our side.
We're outnumbered.
156
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:20,939
I'll be on your side!
157
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,208
Jack, you're my brother.
158
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,409
Brothers can't be
on opposite sides
of a war.
159
00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:27,212
Sorry, ladies,
160
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,448
but that's the way it is,
and there's nothing
you can do to change that.
161
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:32,784
It could be really fun
to be on the same side.
162
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:34,085
I'm fun.
163
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,221
(STUTTERING) You think?
164
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,490
Jack, you know how good
Cory and Shawn are at this.
165
00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:41,526
You don't want to
go against them.
166
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:43,728
You know, Jack,
we were close once.
167
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:47,265
Who knows what can happen
when two people are caught up
in the heat of battle.
168
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:48,833
Hold on!
169
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:52,170
That's a foul.
No fair offering cookies.
170
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:54,972
Did Jack forget
how good my cookies were?
171
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:56,707
Whoa!
172
00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:01,379
Let me remind you.
173
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:05,750
I'm with her, guys.
Sorry.
174
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,485
Yeah, so am I.
175
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:10,288
Honey, would it be
okay if I went...
No? Okay. No.
176
00:08:10,356 --> 00:08:12,290
All right, look.
177
00:08:12,358 --> 00:08:14,059
I know both sides want me,
but I'm gonna reserve
my decision
178
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,060
until I hear
all the pitches, okay?
179
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,029
Uh, no, see,
you're Cory's brother.
180
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,764
You need to go over
to his side.
181
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,367
No, he's Jack's best friend!
He should be on their side!
182
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:24,469
Yeah, but it would be
a really unfair advantage...
183
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:26,270
Hey, hey, ho!
Come on!
184
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:29,106
Stop fighting over me, guys!
Stop fighting over me!
185
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,976
No, no, no,
I've already made
my decision, all right?
186
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,979
Do I get cookies?
No.
187
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:36,247
How about a cracker?
Nothin'.
188
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:37,515
Mutton?
189
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:41,853
Fine! Fine!
You'll regret this one day.
190
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:44,589
I've already decided to be
on the side of, um...
191
00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:45,757
Um...
192
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,528
Hey! Okay, okay.
193
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,163
(SHUSHING)
194
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:55,566
(WHISPERING) I'm not
really on your team.
I'm a spy.
195
00:08:57,737 --> 00:08:58,937
(YELLS)
196
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,341
Hey, wait. No.
I'm not really
on your team.
197
00:09:03,409 --> 00:09:04,909
I'm a spy.
198
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,745
The Civil War was
one of the darkest moments
199
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:10,081
in the history
of our nation.
200
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:13,318
Once united, we were now
on the precipice
201
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:16,021
of a terrible
conflagration
202
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:18,723
which would cast
friend against friend,
203
00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:20,358
and brother against brother.
204
00:09:20,426 --> 00:09:22,627
Mr. Feeny,
this war must be stopped!
205
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:27,599
Your passion for the material
is admirable, Mr. Matthews,
206
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:31,302
but not to worry.
The Civil War was fought
over a hundred years ago.
207
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:34,372
Oh, no one cares
about that crap.
I'm talking about now!
208
00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:35,673
Come on,
make 'em call it off.
209
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,575
I just don't want to
see anybody get hurt!
210
00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:40,945
Mr. Matthews, I have no idea
what you're talking about,
211
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:44,416
and "that's the way,
uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it."
212
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:51,122
Tomorrow, we'll begin
with the first shots
fired on Fort Sumter.
213
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,529
Hey, come on.
I was just looking
for a little kiss.
214
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,031
Don't do it.
He's on the other side.
215
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,399
Angela, it's still me.
216
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,770
All right,
but put your hands
where I can see 'em.
217
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,672
Hey, that goes both ways.
Hands up.
218
00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:11,409
(BOOING)
219
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:13,678
Come on! Come on!
Stop! Stop!
220
00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:15,546
I can't take
this anymore!
221
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,115
Friend against friend,
brother against brother.
222
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:19,284
Don't you realize that
nothing good can come
from this?
223
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:22,653
We surrender!
No, we don't!
224
00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:25,890
Then we surrender!
Get away from me!
225
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,459
(WHISPERING)
Come on, no.
I'm a spy!
226
00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:29,694
I'm on both sides, remember,
because we did... Shh!
227
00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:31,096
Come on...
228
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,031
Hey.
229
00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:35,033
Hey!
What?
230
00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:37,202
I'm stuck!
231
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:39,237
Super glue
on the chairs!
232
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:40,471
My skirt is ruined!
233
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:43,207
Oh, no, no!
Friend against friend!
234
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:46,144
(LAUGHS) The old
super glue trick.
235
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:48,012
Amateurs.
236
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,213
Wait. You're not mad?
237
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,949
Eric, this is nothing!
It's not even clever.
238
00:10:52,018 --> 00:10:54,452
You don't think so?
Not worthy of comment.
239
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,721
Well, what if
it isn't over?
240
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:57,855
Huh?
241
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:07,932
Ew!
242
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:14,872
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
243
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,041
Oh, God!
244
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,444
(SPUTTERS)
245
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,180
Honey!
246
00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:24,282
What?
247
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,649
No. Honey!
248
00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:28,252
What?
It's honey, idiot!
249
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:30,054
Ooh, I love honey!
Come here!
250
00:11:31,490 --> 00:11:32,924
Okay, okay.
251
00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:36,694
So, we're glued
to the seats
and we're sticky.
252
00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:39,330
Eh, it's pretty good.
It's not great.
253
00:11:39,398 --> 00:11:40,798
(LOUD GROWLING)
254
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:44,435
Now it's great.
255
00:11:47,673 --> 00:11:48,739
(YELPS)
256
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:52,710
A bear?
257
00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:56,180
A ferocious predator
mauling about my classroom?
258
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:59,384
Well, you must have been
glued to your seats!
259
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:00,818
(CHUCKLING)
260
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,388
We could have died!
261
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:06,590
Yeah.
262
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:10,595
What are we gonna do
to retaliate?
263
00:12:10,664 --> 00:12:11,830
What are we gonna do
to get 'em back?
264
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,130
We're gonna
get 'em back, right?
265
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:14,432
Down, catwoman. Down.
266
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,900
We'll get them.
Don't worry.
267
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,335
Tell me, tell me.
What are we gonna do?
268
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,572
ALL: Hey.
269
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:24,008
You had enough now that
you know who you're
dealing with?
270
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,943
Ready to discuss
terms of surrender?
271
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:28,847
Can you "bear"
to continue?
272
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:32,349
Come on.
Somebody surrender already.
Let's just be done with this!
273
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,218
No. No surrender.
274
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,187
And speaking of bear...
275
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:41,192
What's that all about?
276
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,161
We don't know.
277
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:44,295
(CHUCKLES)
278
00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:56,040
(EXAGGERATED LAUGHTER)
279
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,215
How could you?
280
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,353
(CRYING)
281
00:13:24,503 --> 00:13:26,870
You know, I knew it.
I knew this was
gonna happen.
282
00:13:35,414 --> 00:13:37,648
You only have yourselves
to blame for this.
283
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,583
Hope you feel really bad.
284
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,020
Look, Rachel,
I'm really sorry.
285
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:46,824
We were just picking it up
a step, that's all.
286
00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:49,026
You know, you look
really good in the picture.
287
00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:50,761
Right, Shawn?
Yeah, really good.
288
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,464
I even made a wallet size
for myself here.
289
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,867
Rip it up!
Okay.
290
00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:58,369
You went too far, Shawn.
This was bad.
291
00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:00,771
Oh, Angela.
Like I don't know
whose side you're really on!
292
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,907
What are you talking about?
I'm on your side.
293
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:04,709
I had that picture made
when Jack and I were dating,
294
00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:07,244
and I've had it
under my bed ever since!
295
00:14:07,313 --> 00:14:09,547
I've missed it
like crazy.
296
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:11,916
You were the only one
who had access to it!
297
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,951
Uh-oh.
Rachel, I would never!
298
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,586
Sure, you would.
He's your boyfriend.
299
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:17,722
But you're my roommate.
I can't believe
you're accusing me.
300
00:14:17,791 --> 00:14:19,657
You never let Shawn
into our room?
301
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,628
You said you left
a book in my room.
302
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,363
Uh-oh!
I knew it!
303
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,232
I can't believe
you lied to me.
304
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,668
War, Angela.
The thing all's fair in?
305
00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:33,904
Oh, no, you betrayed
my trust for a sick joke?
306
00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:35,606
Uh-oh!
307
00:14:35,674 --> 00:14:38,109
Wait a minute.
How did you even know
about the picture?
308
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:43,547
(LOUDLY) Uh-oh!
309
00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:47,818
You showed it to Shawn?
310
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,821
Once, all right?
When we were still
dating a long time ago!
311
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,322
Only because he showed me
a picture of Angela.
312
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,725
Hey! You showed him that?
313
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,461
Hey!
314
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,395
How come I never get
to see nothing?
315
00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,933
That was a private gift
from me to you!
316
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:04,468
I know. I know.
I'm sorry, all right?
317
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:05,836
I can't believe you, man.
318
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,404
Come on, Rachel,
we're brothers.
319
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:09,306
Brothers tell each other
everything.
320
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:12,010
We're only half brothers,
all right? I only have to
tell you half.
321
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,944
But you weren't
loyal to me, Jack!
No one was!
322
00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:16,447
Hey, wait a minute.
I took your side!
That's not fair!
323
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:17,682
Hey, I'm on your side, too.
324
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,717
It's Cory and Shawn
that we're mad at.
325
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:24,756
I still can't
get this honey
out of my hair.
326
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:25,856
What's going on?
327
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,625
Oh, as if
you didn't know!
328
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:30,394
Our team just got even.
Their team's being
a bad sport.
329
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,596
You're gonna pretend
that you don't know
what they did to me?
330
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,066
They blew this up for
the whole wide world
to see!
331
00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:36,567
Fun, huh?
332
00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:37,802
(SNICKERING)
333
00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:39,036
Funny, huh?
334
00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:41,539
The legend continues.
335
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:47,078
Rachel, I am so sorry.
I had nothing to do
with this.
336
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,513
Why did I have
nothing to do with this?
337
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,015
Uh-oh.
338
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:53,284
I am on your team,
remember?
Uh-oh.
339
00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:56,353
We make decisions together!
Remember?
340
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,454
It was Shawn's idea.
341
00:15:58,391 --> 00:15:59,590
Uh-oh!
342
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,159
But of course.
343
00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:05,429
Whenever there's trouble,
Shawn can't be too far behind.
344
00:16:05,497 --> 00:16:07,065
It was a nice toast
at the wedding, Shawn.
345
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,966
It's Cory and Topanga now.
346
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:12,103
Cory and Topanga
are best friends,
not Cory and Shawn.
347
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,471
I thought
we were a team.
348
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:14,838
Hey, look, we're all
in this together.
349
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:16,874
Yeah, for once,
I thought we were!
350
00:16:16,942 --> 00:16:19,843
For once, I thought it
could be the three of us!
351
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:22,513
That's why I wanted to be
on your guys' team.
352
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:25,383
To be part of
the legendary team,
but I guess I'm not.
353
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:28,885
Rachel, I'm sorry.
354
00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:31,589
Why are you all
taking Rachel's side?
355
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,257
You've known me and Shawn
all your life.
356
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,026
You've known Rachel, what,
a couple of years?
357
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:39,931
Oh, Rachel,
I'm really sorry.
358
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,732
That's not how
we think of you
or anything.
359
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:44,201
No, it's not.
360
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:46,971
How stupid am I? I actually
thought that you guys
were my friends.
361
00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:48,339
Of course we are!
362
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:50,007
Rachel, you were
in our wedding!
363
00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:52,743
I really thought that
you guys let me into
your special world.
364
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,682
I guess the joke
really is on me.
365
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:03,587
And I guess
it's no accident
366
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,622
the way the teams
are picked around here.
367
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:08,059
Yeah,
what a coincidence, huh?
368
00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:10,761
Lifelongers versus...
369
00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:12,930
I guess I really don't know
what we are.
370
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,033
Come on. Angela...
371
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:17,768
Jack!
372
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:20,037
It's okay.
It's okay, all right?
373
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:21,572
It's you and you
and me now.
374
00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:29,981
All right.
It's you and me now.
375
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,020
Okay, it's just me now.
376
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,759
I cannot believe that you
would take Rachel's side
over mine!
377
00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:44,462
I took your side!
378
00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:47,065
I wanted to be
on Cory and Shawn's team!
379
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:50,000
I was excited to be part
of that immortal friendship!
380
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:52,136
You left me out, Cory!
381
00:17:52,204 --> 00:17:55,739
Topanga, you were in
the shower washing your hair
for, like, 11 hours!
382
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,507
Do you know why a husband
is supposed to tell his wife
383
00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:59,243
when he's gonna
do something?
384
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:02,546
So she can tell him
what a stupid idea it is
before he does it!
385
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:04,382
Look,
386
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:06,484
I don't want you to think
that you're not my
best friend. Okay?
387
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:09,387
And I do not want you
to think that I would
ever hurt you.
388
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:13,757
Why was it
a stupid idea?
389
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,593
Because you hurt
someone's feelings!
390
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:17,328
Rachel's.
And mine.
391
00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:21,966
Oh, great, the butt!
392
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:32,376
All right, look.
I'm glad you're both here.
Listen to me.
393
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,711
I've been reading
a lot about this guy
named Gandhi.
394
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,347
Gandhi's an Indian.
395
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,382
He's a Cherokee,
I think, but it's not
really what's important.
396
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:41,485
Gandhi is a master
at solving all conflicts
peacefully.
397
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:44,989
Now, the first thing
we need to do is
start a dialogue.
398
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:51,095
Okay, see,
to have a dialogue,
somebody has to talk.
399
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:57,201
"Somebody has to talk."
Yeah.
400
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:58,936
So, who's gonna go first?
401
00:19:00,572 --> 00:19:01,838
Oh, to hell
with you, man.
402
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,507
Now, see, that's good.
Let's build from that.
403
00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:04,708
To hell with you, too.
404
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:06,210
I don't think you guys
are getting it,
405
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:08,212
so I'm gonna skip
right ahead to
the next chapter,
406
00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:10,381
which is, of course,
"The Hunger Strike."
407
00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:14,151
I will not eat or drink
until the two of you make up.
408
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,187
Okay, go! Om.
409
00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:21,625
Looks good.
410
00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:24,895
You got
a cheeseburger there?
411
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,065
Have a little bit of pie?
412
00:19:30,202 --> 00:19:31,669
It's fine, it's fine.
413
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,305
(CHANTING) Yum.
414
00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:39,110
Oh, I'm so freaking hungry!
415
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,612
Eric, butt out!
416
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,881
I can't butt out.
I'm the peacemaker.
417
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:46,317
That's why I was
on both sides.
Remember? Shh.
418
00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:49,086
You weren't on
anybody's side.
419
00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:50,621
What are you talking about?
Everybody wanted me!
420
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:51,989
No. Nobody wanted you!
421
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:54,591
What?
422
00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:56,026
Nobody wanted you
on their team!
423
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:06,737
What did you do that for?
424
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,605
Don't tell me
what to do, moron!
425
00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:19,016
Look, I know I do
crazy things sometimes.
426
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:21,852
I hope you still love me.
427
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,521
I'm not talking to you.
428
00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:28,959
I'm not talking
to you, either.
429
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:31,528
What? Come on, Topanga,
you and I are
on the same team.
430
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:33,130
Oh, sure we are. Right.
431
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:35,333
Well, here.
Here's my coffee.
432
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,100
Why don't you make a toast?
433
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,973
Hey, Angela.
I'm not talking to you.
434
00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:43,240
I'm not talking to you,
either!
435
00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:44,475
And I'm not
talking to you!
436
00:20:44,543 --> 00:20:45,909
And I'm not
talking to you!
437
00:21:00,193 --> 00:21:01,459
Are you talking to me?
Shut up!
438
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:02,559
Okay.
37016
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