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1
00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:03,869
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:25,757
You got Feeny this year?
3
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,792
Yeah. You?
Yeah. Which courses?
4
00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:28,860
All of them.
Yeah, me, too.
5
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,297
Oh, boy.
6
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:35,600
I can't believe I made it
through the whole summer
without Topanga.
7
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:38,002
You know, I feel bad
about her parents
splitting up and all,
8
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:40,406
but don't you think
she's taking it a little hard?
9
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:43,108
I mean, so her parents
hate each other.
Get over it.
10
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:46,111
My mom walked out on my family
when I was nine,
and I'm fine...
11
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:47,545
Fine.
12
00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:52,050
What's the matter, buddy?
13
00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:54,686
I just had such
a bad year...
14
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,121
Bad year.
15
00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:58,690
Well, buck up, bucker.
16
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:01,526
Angela's on her way here,
and everything's
going to be okay.
17
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,662
You know, before the summer
I asked her to be
my girlfriend again?
18
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:07,399
Oh, yeah? What did she say?
She gave me a kiss
on the cheek,
19
00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:09,902
which I take to mean
that she's wildly
in love with me.
20
00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:12,136
You think I'm reading
too much into this?
21
00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:14,606
No. That's all I get.
You know why?
22
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:19,177
Because these girls think
they've got us wrapped around
their little fingers.
23
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,747
But you know what?
I've got a little suggestion.
24
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:23,448
It's just
a little suggestion.
25
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:26,284
We play it cool.
26
00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:28,987
A little cooler with
the emotions.
27
00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:30,822
Hey, Cory.
(SCREAMS)
28
00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:36,461
I don't believe it!
Topanga, honey,
I missed you so much!
29
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,533
My parents officially
filed for divorce
this morning.
30
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:47,439
That's bad.
That's not good.
31
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:50,676
I don't know what to say.
32
00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:54,279
It's okay.
You don't have to
say anything.
33
00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:57,349
Hey, Shawn.
34
00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:58,750
I'm sorry, Topanga.
35
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:01,253
I'm sorry, too.
36
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:03,421
I've just accepted that my
parents are not going to spend
37
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:05,123
the rest of their
lives together.
38
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,859
Well, it's, uh...
39
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,762
It's important to face
reality, and I'm glad
you're okay.
40
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:14,899
Now we can get back to
planning our wedding.
41
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,275
Now we can get back to
planning our wedding.
42
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:30,181
Here we go.
43
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:35,320
Cory, I've had nothing
but time to think about this.
44
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:36,922
I just don't want to
get married anymore.
45
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:37,989
Even though
we love each other?
46
00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:40,358
So did my parents.
47
00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:43,362
Hey, everybody.
Angela!
48
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:45,697
Oh! Bigger hello than me.
Did you see that?
49
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:47,832
Hi, Angela.
Hi, Shawn.
50
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,300
Hi, Cory.
Hi.
51
00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:51,937
Topanga, I need to
talk to you.
52
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:55,373
What is going on?
Oh, not much.
She's calling off the wedding.
53
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,742
Again?
Even though
we love each other.
54
00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,811
I don't want to hear
about "love" anymore. Okay?
55
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,814
What is with
putting finger quotes
around the word "love"?
56
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,950
I'm putting quotes around
the word "love"
57
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,651
because I don't think
"love" exists.
58
00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:09,921
Of course love exists.
That's the craziest thing
I've ever "heard."
59
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:13,125
Did you think about
what I asked you
before the summer?
60
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,192
Did ya?
61
00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:15,794
You don't think love exists?
62
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:19,331
Don't listen to her.
She's stressed out.
63
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,933
Your hair looks so good.
64
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:25,036
If love exists, why do people
hurt each other all the time?
65
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,506
Why do they?
They don't!
66
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:30,242
She's just saying that
because your hair
looks better than hers.
67
00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:33,277
Topanga, I wouldn't hurt you.
68
00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:35,914
You say that now.
I would never hurt you.
69
00:03:35,982 --> 00:03:39,251
How do you know
I wouldn't hurt you?
Because I know you love me.
70
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:41,219
That's why I can't marry you.
71
00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:47,459
She's nuts.
72
00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:51,128
Angela, don't let her
influence you. You know how
you feel about me.
73
00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:54,098
Trust your heart.
Don't listen to your brain
74
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:56,267
because your brain
and your heart are enemies,
75
00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:59,771
and your brain will...
Topanga makes sense.
76
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:02,273
Kill me dead.
77
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:08,580
What about everything that
happened before the summer?
78
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,782
What happened?
At Feeny's wedding,
79
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:13,085
I put my hand on your hand
and you pulled it away,
80
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:15,653
and I did it again and you
pulled it away.
81
00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:18,724
And I did it again and you
pulled it away.
82
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:21,626
So?
You know you liked it.
83
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:26,631
We're friends.
No. I don't want to
be friends with you.
84
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:29,100
I can hate you
or I can love you
for the rest of my life,
85
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:31,536
and those are the choices
as far as I see it.
86
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,805
You know, she got this
crap from Topanga.
87
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,973
If you knew how to
keep your girlfriend...
Keep her what?
88
00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:38,777
Happy? Pleasant? Quiet?
89
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:40,612
I don't know how to do
any of those things.
90
00:04:42,349 --> 00:04:45,016
Hey, guys, welcome back.
Hey, how are you?
91
00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:48,252
Hello, Jack and Rachel.
Very good.
92
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:51,356
Just the people to tell these
women how to keep
themselves in line.
93
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:55,026
Will you please tell these two
that being in love is
the greatest thing there is?
94
00:04:55,094 --> 00:04:57,562
Tell them.
Girls, listen.
Listen.
95
00:04:58,799 --> 00:04:59,798
Jack and I broke up.
96
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:04,469
You morons.
You're killing us.
97
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:09,307
Topanga! You're gonna
listen to them?
98
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,778
Friends, okay?
Hate you or love you,
99
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,280
and know this,
100
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,182
(IN SPANISH ACCENT)
I hate as good as I love.
101
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,119
Goodbye, Shawn.
102
00:05:22,188 --> 00:05:26,991
Fine. Goodbye.
You're going?
Fine. Goodbye.
103
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:28,760
Angela?
104
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,363
You know, Jack, um...
105
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:34,433
It is going to be
uncomfortable, since we're
not together anymore,
106
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:35,700
us living in the
same apartment...
107
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,769
Yeah, I meant to talk
to you about that.
108
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:41,039
Everybody, look at my head!
109
00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:44,642
No. I promised myself
I'm not going to look
at his head all year.
110
00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:46,711
All right, everybody,
111
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:48,646
I think it was clear that my
life needed examination
and change.
112
00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:50,448
I think it was clear
113
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,850
that a drastic measure
needed to be taken
114
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:56,220
so that Eric Matthews
could reach the next plateau
in his life...
115
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:59,957
In my life. In all of
our lives.
116
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:04,963
Would you like to know
what he did? What I did...
117
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,766
What he all did?
ALL: No!
118
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:12,270
Okay, Eric, tell us
what you did.
119
00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:16,340
I did a little something
called this...
120
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,522
Eric, I don't understand.
121
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:32,824
You said you loved
your long hair. You swore
you'd never cut it.
122
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,492
I didn't just cut it.
123
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,628
I had, like,
a religious experience.
124
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:42,033
I had a deeply meaningful,
life-altering metamorphosis.
125
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,601
I also got a bikini wax.
Check this out.
126
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:44,669
No!
127
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:46,905
Eric, please.
128
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:48,606
All right, so, anyway,
129
00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:51,076
I'm getting my
hair cut, right?
I'm sitting on the pony
130
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,880
and I'm watching my
once-precious locks
fall to the floor.
131
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:59,584
That's when I realized
that the stuff that was so
important to me last week
132
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,253
doesn't mean a thing
to me today,
133
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:04,456
so this new haircut
symbolizes the new Eric,
134
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:07,392
the smarter Eric.
135
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:10,362
Wait a second.
What are you going to do when
your hair grows back?
136
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,031
(SCOFFS)
It's not going to grow back.
I got my receipt.
137
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,939
Ah, my favorite couple.
138
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:22,373
Back together, hmm?
139
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,243
Mr. Feeny, just the man to
talk some sense into her.
140
00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:26,544
Are you all right, Topanga?
141
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,512
Yeah, she's fine.
She's terrific.
142
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:31,015
She's calling off the wedding
is how terrific she is.
143
00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,318
Hello, Mr. Feeny.
144
00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:35,953
Well, this is really
none of my business.
145
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:37,755
Are you kidding me?
146
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,792
You have been butting into
my business my entire life.
147
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:43,628
That is 19 years
of butting, baby.
148
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:46,397
And now, when I
actually need butting,
why you don't butt?
149
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:49,500
Oh, back off.
150
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,338
You want to talk
about this, Topanga?
151
00:07:53,407 --> 00:07:55,840
I just don't want to end up
divorced like my parents.
152
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,242
Divorce is devastating
for everyone involved.
153
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,779
Topanga, we're not going
to get divorced, okay?
154
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:02,580
We love each other too much.
155
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:06,384
Cory thinks anything
can be magically resolved
with "love."
156
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:09,520
How about I bite off
those fingers right now?
157
00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:12,189
Over half of all
marriages fail.
158
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:13,958
It's even worse with
people our age.
159
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,294
Every statistic that you
throw at me is going to be
about other people.
160
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:17,796
I don't care about
other people.
161
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:19,897
I care about you and me.
162
00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:24,369
If every marriage failed
except one, I'd guarantee you
that one would be ours.
163
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:28,472
Uh, Feeny...
164
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:31,610
Topanga, I've always
known you to be
a practical thinker.
165
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:35,246
Now, I know you're going
through a terrible time
and it's affecting you,
166
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:41,586
but this, ultimately, has to
be about you and Cory,
no one else.
167
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,354
You see that?
Ultimately about
you and Cory.
168
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,890
Ultimately you have to decide
if you want to marry me.
169
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:48,693
Thanks.
170
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,562
I think we're going
to be okay.
171
00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:53,864
I think we got to her.
172
00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:57,936
Feeny!
173
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,272
Eric!
174
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,943
No, it's me. It's Eric.
175
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:08,512
Oh, see, I don't blame you
for not recognizing me.
176
00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:10,481
I do recognize you, Eric.
177
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,450
It's because I got
my hair cut, see?
178
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:15,853
See, this new haircut
kind of symbolizes
the new smarter Eric.
179
00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:18,155
Is your head cold?
Because mine's cold.
180
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:20,825
Goodbye, Mr. Matthews.
181
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,627
Oh, bye, Mr. Feeny.
Oh, wait, Mr. Feeny!
182
00:09:22,695 --> 00:09:24,729
Great news! I don't have to
sleep in your car anymore.
183
00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:29,134
You've been sleeping
in my car? Since when?
184
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,002
Oh, since I got kicked
out of the apartment.
185
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,604
I usually wait for you
and dean what's-her-head
to go to bed
186
00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:35,406
and then I curl up
in the back seat,
187
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:37,475
unless I have company over.
188
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,912
You have company in my car?
189
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,615
Thursday is spaghetti night.
190
00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:46,918
Look, now that
Jack and Rachel
are splitsky,
191
00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:48,519
they asked me to move
back into the apartment.
192
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,488
So, it looks like
everything's good for
old Eric again, huh?
193
00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:51,923
All right, Mr. Feeny.
194
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,694
I like spaghetti,
too, you know.
195
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:03,200
She's still a baby.
She's 13 years old.
196
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,703
Okay, who is this boy?
197
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,505
Someone she knows from school.
198
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:08,673
From her grade?
199
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:11,041
You don't trust your daughter.
200
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:14,311
I don't trust her? You think
I don't trust my daughter?
201
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,413
You're right.
202
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:19,283
Morgan, who is this boy?
How old is he?
203
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,619
Alan, it is her first date.
Don't spoil it.
204
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:24,655
I've raised three
children, Amy. I think
I can handle this.
205
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:28,426
The boy. How old?
How old's the boy?
206
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,495
His name is Dominick.
He's in the eighth grade.
207
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:32,463
If you embarrass me, I'll die.
208
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,432
The eighth grade?
209
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,667
What's wrong with the boys
in the fifth grade?
210
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:38,536
I'm in the seventh grade, Dad.
211
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,806
Don't lie to me.
Mom!
212
00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:44,408
No. No. No Mom.
Look at me. Look.
213
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:46,511
Morgan, this is hard for me.
214
00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:49,147
You are my only little girl.
215
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:50,948
I don't like this.
216
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:54,018
I'm sorry, Daddy.
I grew up.
I won't do it again.
217
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,787
Fine. Just go
get dressed.
Mom!
218
00:10:56,856 --> 00:10:57,855
She is dressed.
219
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:01,392
The hell she is!
220
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:02,827
Here we go.
221
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:06,563
You've got hot pants on.
She's wearing hot pants!
222
00:11:06,632 --> 00:11:09,433
Alan, they're shorts.
The same shorts
she wears all the time.
223
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,936
When she's on a date,
with a boy, they're hot pants.
224
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,604
Mom!
Change.
225
00:11:14,373 --> 00:11:15,907
What is wrong with you?
226
00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:18,375
I just don't want this.
I don't want it.
227
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:19,810
She's too young to be dating.
228
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:22,179
Well, Cory dated Topanga
when he was four.
229
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:24,449
Well, he's a boy.
230
00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:26,317
And you're a pig.
Hey!
231
00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:27,652
Pig.
232
00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:34,024
Nothing's ever going
to be good again, is it?
233
00:11:34,093 --> 00:11:37,261
Wrong. Me and Feeny
just got it fixed up.
234
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:40,198
So Topanga's off realizing
how much she loves me.
235
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:44,235
She tells Angela. Angela
says, "You know what?
I love Shawn, too."
236
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,704
They come over here.
Huggy, huggy, kissy, kissy,
237
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:50,574
"Get your hand off that,"
we're back to normal.
238
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,076
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
239
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,946
Oh, who could that be
knock, knock, knocking?
240
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:02,353
Ha ha. Topanga
and Angela, hello.
241
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:04,722
Hi. Cory, you were right
to make me think about this.
242
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:07,625
I was right to make her think
about this. We're fixed up,
fixed up.
243
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:10,595
Have you been thinking,
too, Angela?
Yes, Shawn, I have.
244
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:13,364
Cory, maybe we shouldn't
talk about this in front
of Shawn and Angela.
245
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:14,699
No, no, no.
246
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,768
Of course we can talk
about it in front of them.
247
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,136
They're our best friends,
248
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:20,438
and we have no secrets
from our best friends
249
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:23,574
because whatever you're going
to say is very, very good,
250
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:27,345
so say what you're
going to say. Say it.
251
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,113
I don't think I can be
with you anymore.
252
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:30,181
Shh! They'll hear you!
253
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,818
Angela, the one thing I've
always respected about you
254
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:37,955
is that you're an independent
thinker and you won't be
influenced by the crazy lady.
255
00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:39,991
I'm sorry, Shawn, but...
Shush.
256
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,893
Shush.
257
00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:44,862
I think it would be better
if we just don't see
each other anymore.
258
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,264
Oh, no.
259
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:51,202
Cory, it's just too painful
to think about you and I
ending up like my parents.
260
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:53,938
Our relationship
has to be over.
261
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:57,308
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
262
00:13:09,822 --> 00:13:10,821
We don't need them.
263
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,495
It doesn't matter
what they say, Shawnie.
264
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,130
Those girls love us.
265
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:22,132
Another bad year.
Another bad year.
266
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:25,837
Shawn, lighten up. Okay?
It's not like you're
losing your crops.
267
00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:27,705
Well, I guess that's so.
268
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:30,008
I believe in love
like I believe in God.
269
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:32,977
Okay? You can't see it,
you can't touch it,
270
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:36,413
but you know it's there
because you can
feel its wrath.
271
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,350
And goodness.
You can feel
love's goodness.
272
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,286
I wouldn't know.
273
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,122
But I do know
they love us,
Shawn,
274
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,891
and because they love us,
proximity is going to
be our weapon.
275
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:49,394
They're going to see us
every day and they're
going to realize
276
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,963
that we are the most important
people in their lives.
277
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:55,633
Proximity, Shawn. Proximity.
278
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:58,403
So they're probably moving
out of the dorm right now.
279
00:13:58,471 --> 00:13:59,470
Yeah, probably.
280
00:14:02,641 --> 00:14:05,109
(EXCLAIMS)
281
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,644
Wait a minute, I thought
you gave us your key back
when you moved out.
282
00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:09,380
Yeah, well, I decided
to keep a copy
283
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,449
in case I wanted
to seek revenge.
(CHUCKLES)
284
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:13,751
Oh.
285
00:14:13,819 --> 00:14:15,552
You think Rachel's going to be
okay with me moving back in?
286
00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:17,021
Yeah, she'll be thrilled.
287
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,490
It's me that
doesn't want it.
Oh.
288
00:14:20,326 --> 00:14:22,526
What's with these books?
289
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:23,795
I don't know.
Look at this.
290
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,597
Native Son.
291
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:29,466
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.
292
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:32,403
The Autobiography of Malcolm 10.
293
00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:34,272
Rachel must be
taking arithmetic.
294
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:39,710
ANGELA: Those are mine.
295
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:42,813
JACK AND TOPANGA:
Rachel?
296
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,116
You didn't tell me we were
having guests for dinner.
297
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:49,053
Oh, wait a second.
I know what's going on.
No, I don't.
298
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:55,693
I don't appreciate
the word "pig."
299
00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:59,530
How about "loving father
who's concerned about
his only daughter"?
300
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,233
How about "pig"?
301
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:07,005
Well, she packed her things
and moved out on me.
302
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:10,508
Who?
Who? Martina Navratilova!
"Who?"
303
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,176
Topanga moved out on you?
304
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:15,312
I didn't even know
she was living with you.
Smooth, baby.
305
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:18,749
Pig.
306
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:19,884
(DOORBELL RINGS)
307
00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:22,586
Morgan, your date is here.
308
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,888
Date? Since when do you guys
allow her to date?
309
00:15:24,957 --> 00:15:27,758
Since your mother.
Oh, I will get the door.
310
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:32,563
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
311
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,866
What are you wearing?
312
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,133
It's a tankini.
313
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,637
That's a bra.
That's a bra.
314
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:41,305
Is that a bra?
315
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:42,506
Sadly, I wouldn't know.
316
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,977
It's a tankini.
317
00:15:46,045 --> 00:15:49,614
Well, I don't want you
wearing anything that
ends in "ini."
318
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:53,317
Okay? Now, go upstairs.
Put on some of that unsexy
crap your mother...
319
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,755
Alan, this is Dominick.
320
00:15:57,823 --> 00:15:59,323
And I heard that, you pig.
321
00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:02,559
Hello, Dominick.
322
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,662
Wow. A bra.
323
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:07,931
It's a "tanqueray."
324
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,635
Mom.
325
00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:14,205
Could we just have a little
sensitivity here?
This is Morgan's first date.
326
00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:16,841
I didn't want him
to know that, Mom.
327
00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:19,076
Well, now he does know,
328
00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:22,346
and it's good he knows
329
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,681
because this is where
it all begins, guys,
330
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,883
the pain, the torture.
331
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:29,120
Be careful, Dominick.
332
00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:32,323
Be so careful.
333
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,327
Is this really
your first date?
334
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:39,796
It's my first date, too.
335
00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:46,036
Fools!
336
00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:51,509
Eric, what are you
doing here?
(GIGGLES)
337
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:53,444
I asked him to move
back in with us.
338
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,280
What?
Yeah. Isn't that
what you wanted?
339
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:59,116
Oh, no, Jack. When you told me
you were uncomfortable
living together,
340
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:02,887
I naturally assumed you were
asking me if I'd be okay
if you moved out.
341
00:17:02,956 --> 00:17:04,688
No, I wasn't asking you that.
342
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:07,091
Well, I...
343
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,328
I asked Topanga and Angela
to move into the apartment.
344
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:12,497
Really? For us?
345
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,866
Oh, wow, but you know
something? I'm going to have
to take a rain check
346
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,767
because she's
my brother's boo-tay.
347
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:26,010
Obviously there's been
a big misunderstanding.
348
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:27,311
You know what?
We'll leave.
349
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,413
I'm so sorry.
This is all my fault.
350
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:32,149
I feel so bad about
this, you guys.
Oh, yeah, I feel horrible.
351
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:35,119
Horrible. Now, get out
of my house before I have to
throw you in the street. Okay?
352
00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:37,288
Eric!
353
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:40,458
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was
looking so forward to the
three of us living together.
354
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:43,828
Yeah, so was I.
Would have been fun.
355
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:44,896
Now we can't.
356
00:17:46,198 --> 00:17:47,632
(GIRLS SIGH)
357
00:17:51,370 --> 00:17:52,369
Wait.
358
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:57,308
Wait.
Why? Why?
359
00:17:57,376 --> 00:18:00,478
We can't just throw them
out on the street.
Oh, you know, we really could.
360
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:03,847
We'll move out.
361
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:04,915
Oh, Jack,
you are the greatest!
362
00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:07,952
Yes! Oh, you're the best.
Thanks.
363
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:10,421
No, no, no, no, no!
Don't fold.
364
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:12,156
I don't want to sleep
in Feeny's car anymore.
365
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:14,024
The beaded seat cushion
hurts my tushy.
366
00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:19,029
Oh, and, Eric, it's such
a cute tushy, too.
367
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,765
Do you really think so?
368
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:26,837
(LAUGHING)
369
00:18:29,475 --> 00:18:30,474
Oh.
370
00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:33,244
Dude, what just happened?
371
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:34,311
We don't live here anymore.
372
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:36,213
Well, where do we live?
373
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,917
Have a wonderful time.
374
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:44,255
Good night. Bring her back
by 10... Minutes! Ha!
375
00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:46,891
Where are you going?
Away from you.
376
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,759
Fine.
Fine!
377
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,761
Dad, I need to talk to you.
378
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:53,898
I need to find a way
to prove to Topanga
that love never dies.
379
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:57,434
AMY: I hate you.
I hate you more.
380
00:18:57,503 --> 00:18:58,869
What are you two
fighting about?
381
00:18:58,937 --> 00:19:02,172
I don't know.
Very rarely do I know.
382
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:05,175
We are fighting because
your father and I
had all these children
383
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:08,613
and he doesn't get
to keep them
because they grow up.
384
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:10,815
Well, you called me a pig.
385
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:12,850
(SIGHS)
You're acting like one.
386
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,819
Well, why does she
have to grow up?
387
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:16,287
Well, somebody has to.
388
00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:18,789
We have another one
after her, don't we?
389
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:20,424
Brand-new one.
390
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,992
I'm still the boss
of him, right?
391
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:23,761
Yes, Alan.
392
00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:26,631
Yes, you are.
393
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:30,467
Wait a minute. That's it?
394
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:33,370
What?
395
00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:35,306
That's it? The
fighting's over?
396
00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:37,975
You disappointed?
397
00:19:38,043 --> 00:19:40,678
No, no, I'm not disappointed.
398
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:42,713
I'm very happy.
399
00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:44,281
About what?
400
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,618
I've seen you guys
fight all my life,
401
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:50,254
but no matter what,
you always work it out,
402
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:53,924
and you always
work it out because...
403
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:56,827
They love each other!
They just forgot that they do.
404
00:19:56,896 --> 00:20:00,230
Somebody has to go to
Pittsburgh and remind them.
405
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,500
Oh, no.
Oh, yes!
406
00:20:02,568 --> 00:20:05,603
Do you know what the
difference is between my
parents and Topanga's parents?
407
00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:08,005
Yeah, your parents
birthed an idiot.
408
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:11,275
No. The difference
between my parents
and Topanga's parents
409
00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:13,644
is that my parents never
forget that underneath
410
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:17,347
all the horrible things
they do to each other,
they're still in love.
411
00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:21,285
Topanga's parents forgot
they're in love, and we have
to go and remind them.
412
00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:23,720
The whole thing should take
15 minutes, tops.
413
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:25,989
Now, we are going
to Pittsburgh.
414
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,391
Are you with me?
415
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:30,060
Cory, we can't treat this
like one of our little scams.
416
00:20:30,128 --> 00:20:31,862
We're talking about
people's lives.
417
00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:36,033
We could ruin Topanga's
parents' lives and ours.
418
00:20:36,101 --> 00:20:38,969
Yes, I know.
Are you with me?
419
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:40,037
Yeah.
420
00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:57,254
Oh.
421
00:20:57,323 --> 00:21:00,524
Mr. Feeny, this is so good.
You got to try some of this.
422
00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:03,460
Oh, no. Is it Thursday?
Here, taste it. Taste it!
423
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:05,762
(GROANS)
424
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:08,399
Mmm. It's tasty.
425
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,434
Ah, see, dude? I told you
there was nothing wrong
426
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:11,701
with eating a
three-week-old
meatball.
427
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,739
That's my hair, right?
37571
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