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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,201 --> 00:00:14,269 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells Exclusive for http://UKsubtitles.ru 2 00:01:10,416 --> 00:01:12,464 Match point - llsa and Jackson. 3 00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:15,421 As previously agreed, the winners are awarded the right 4 00:01:15,616 --> 00:01:18,347 to subject the losers to one dare of their choice, 5 00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:21,426 to be redeemed at any time. 6 00:01:21,616 --> 00:01:24,142 Don't screw this up. 7 00:01:41,216 --> 00:01:42,263 I apologise. 8 00:01:48,696 --> 00:01:51,825 Hey, llsa, did you listen to that record I gave you? 9 00:01:53,776 --> 00:01:55,221 Sort of? 10 00:01:59,136 --> 00:02:01,264 - You don't like music? - Hey, llsa... 11 00:02:02,016 --> 00:02:03,745 Here's your Remigio Matina album. 12 00:02:03,936 --> 00:02:06,621 It really opened my mind to easy listening. 13 00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:10,661 - Everybody sit down! - Greetings, Colonel. 14 00:02:10,856 --> 00:02:12,938 I said sit down! 15 00:02:13,136 --> 00:02:15,867 Now, you know I don't like to use the sit-down gun, 16 00:02:16,056 --> 00:02:18,900 but this morning we just don't have time for mucking about. 17 00:02:19,096 --> 00:02:21,224 Major Allied cities have come under attack from... 18 00:02:21,416 --> 00:02:23,180 Nazi monst... 19 00:02:24,016 --> 00:02:27,498 Close... your... mouth. 20 00:02:29,056 --> 00:02:30,660 Nazi monsters. 21 00:02:30,856 --> 00:02:32,301 No conventional weapons can stop them. 22 00:02:32,496 --> 00:02:35,147 And Allied command was almost ready to surrender 23 00:02:35,336 --> 00:02:37,657 until they received a telegram from this man. 24 00:02:37,856 --> 00:02:41,417 He calls himself Gibraltar, and claims to be from the lost city of Atlantis. 25 00:02:41,616 --> 00:02:44,779 This might sound crazy, but the Atlanteans have developed a weapon 26 00:02:44,976 --> 00:02:46,466 that can stop the Nazi monsters. 27 00:02:46,656 --> 00:02:50,183 All they need is some of our refined uranium to power it. 28 00:02:50,376 --> 00:02:53,107 Your mission is to take the uranium to Atlantis, 29 00:02:53,296 --> 00:02:55,583 use this weapon to destroy the Nazi monsters, 30 00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:58,825 and for the love of God, damn well kill Hitler. 31 00:03:01,896 --> 00:03:04,581 There's something I don't like about this whole caper. 32 00:03:06,096 --> 00:03:09,305 This is an opportunity to learn from an alternative civilisation, Claire. 33 00:03:09,496 --> 00:03:12,102 Mankind has been searching for Atlantis for hundreds of years. 34 00:03:12,296 --> 00:03:14,105 I see your meaning, Claire. 35 00:03:14,296 --> 00:03:16,060 What if there is no Atlantis? 36 00:03:16,256 --> 00:03:18,179 And this Gibraltar character is full of... 37 00:03:18,376 --> 00:03:19,343 Crab! 38 00:03:19,536 --> 00:03:21,982 - Precisely. - No, look at that crab! 39 00:03:22,176 --> 00:03:25,385 Bet you could fry that up and live off leftovers for a year. 40 00:03:25,576 --> 00:03:27,624 I think I just found your dare, guys. 41 00:03:28,536 --> 00:03:30,823 Don't be a child, Jackson, we're on a mission. 42 00:03:31,016 --> 00:03:34,225 Hey, betting on a table ball match is an unbreakable bond... 43 00:03:34,416 --> 00:03:35,463 Right, Pierre? 44 00:03:35,656 --> 00:03:39,456 - It is the sport of kings. - You want us to go into the water? 45 00:03:39,656 --> 00:03:43,263 What's the matter, Tucker? Chicken? 46 00:03:44,976 --> 00:03:47,104 Nice one, Kilroy! 47 00:03:47,296 --> 00:03:51,346 I'll get your crab, if it means we can go on without any more juvenile interruptions. 48 00:03:51,536 --> 00:03:53,425 - Aw, man! - Except from Kilroy. 49 00:03:53,616 --> 00:03:55,380 Radical! 50 00:04:04,016 --> 00:04:05,859 My God, a shark! 51 00:04:08,736 --> 00:04:10,181 We have to help her! 52 00:04:11,336 --> 00:04:13,100 Give it here! 53 00:04:26,056 --> 00:04:27,706 llsa, can't you shoot it with something? 54 00:04:29,216 --> 00:04:30,342 Hurry! 55 00:04:39,856 --> 00:04:42,257 Where else was I supposed to put the munchies? 56 00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:43,742 Dr Snack's Jumbo Crunch. 57 00:04:43,936 --> 00:04:45,506 I'm afraid they're delicious, my friends. 58 00:05:07,896 --> 00:05:09,421 Atlantis! 59 00:05:11,616 --> 00:05:12,822 Claire... 60 00:05:23,616 --> 00:05:26,586 Greetings, ambassadors. Welcome to Atlantis. 61 00:05:26,776 --> 00:05:29,780 Now, let us indulge in a refreshing beverage. 62 00:05:29,976 --> 00:05:31,865 - It's all my fault. - Pardon? 63 00:05:32,056 --> 00:05:35,617 Er... We ran into some difficulty on the way here, Captain. 64 00:05:35,816 --> 00:05:37,944 We lost two of our team. 65 00:05:38,136 --> 00:05:39,820 He's not taking it very well. 66 00:05:40,016 --> 00:05:42,826 - It's all my damn fault. - How tragic indeed. 67 00:05:43,016 --> 00:05:46,782 But these are the perils of the sea. You do have the uranium? 68 00:05:48,136 --> 00:05:51,379 Superb. We can begin the final alterations to the weapon! 69 00:05:51,576 --> 00:05:54,500 - No! - What is the meaning of this? 70 00:05:56,616 --> 00:05:58,425 - Take it easy. - Nobody's getting it! 71 00:05:58,616 --> 00:06:01,222 I killed her! I killed her... 72 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:05,461 And now the world's not worth living in without her. 73 00:06:06,336 --> 00:06:08,816 Without this case, the whole world is going to burn 74 00:06:09,016 --> 00:06:10,461 and I'm going to let it! 75 00:06:18,056 --> 00:06:20,423 Hush now, land-walker. 76 00:06:21,016 --> 00:06:24,418 Let this potion ease the pain in your heart. 77 00:06:27,736 --> 00:06:31,422 - Apologies, Captain... - The pain of loss is a cruel serpent. 78 00:06:31,616 --> 00:06:35,416 It will take my technicians several hours to ready the device. 79 00:06:35,616 --> 00:06:38,620 In the meantime, I think you should get some rest. 80 00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:40,978 A quick siesta would sharpen my senses. 81 00:06:41,176 --> 00:06:44,498 - Way ahead of ya, buddy. - You're the best, Kilroy. 82 00:06:54,336 --> 00:06:56,020 - Tucker... - I have to save you. 83 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,661 Tucker! 84 00:06:58,256 --> 00:06:59,701 Claire! 85 00:06:59,896 --> 00:07:02,342 - You're alive! - Why didn't you save me, Tucker? 86 00:07:02,536 --> 00:07:05,585 - I... - You were afraid. 87 00:07:05,776 --> 00:07:09,144 - And now it's too late! - No! No! 88 00:07:19,616 --> 00:07:20,981 Hey... 89 00:07:26,456 --> 00:07:29,460 You know, you're much more attractive than Claire. 90 00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,624 I guess this is goodbye. 91 00:07:51,536 --> 00:07:55,382 Hey, Pierre... Pierre! Wake up, Pierre. 92 00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:59,137 Can I take batteries from your remote for my video game? 93 00:07:59,336 --> 00:08:01,304 You're the best, Kilroy! 94 00:08:02,856 --> 00:08:06,099 How was your rest? Do you feel any better, Tucker? 95 00:08:06,296 --> 00:08:08,219 - She's here. - Oh, no. 96 00:08:08,416 --> 00:08:10,464 She's here. She's alive! 97 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,181 - Who's here? - Claire! 98 00:08:12,376 --> 00:08:14,424 - I spoke with her. - You are having visions. 99 00:08:14,616 --> 00:08:17,859 This can happen when not accustomed to high pressures under the ocean. 100 00:08:18,056 --> 00:08:20,058 Did anyone else have any visions? 101 00:08:20,616 --> 00:08:24,701 I had some, but it's probably from smoking all this Thai stick. 102 00:08:25,656 --> 00:08:27,738 She wasn't a damn vision! She was real! 103 00:08:27,936 --> 00:08:29,461 I'm going to find her. 104 00:08:31,576 --> 00:08:34,705 - It's for his own good. - You have the deep-sea madness. 105 00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:38,503 - You'll have to sleep it off. - I'm not crazy! 106 00:08:42,456 --> 00:08:45,505 Come, the preparations are complete. 107 00:08:46,496 --> 00:08:49,545 This fighting machine was developed by our scientists 108 00:08:49,736 --> 00:08:52,819 over the last century as the ultimate self-defence weapon. 109 00:08:53,016 --> 00:08:58,056 Now that it is complete, we should be able to defeat the Nazi monsters. 110 00:08:58,256 --> 00:09:01,100 This is indeed an impressive device, Gibraltar. 111 00:09:01,296 --> 00:09:03,947 llsa, is this not a wonderment? 112 00:09:05,576 --> 00:09:07,066 llsa? 113 00:09:12,096 --> 00:09:13,461 Hey! 114 00:09:15,456 --> 00:09:19,745 Hello, do you think I could get some more of this lobster bisque? 115 00:09:32,896 --> 00:09:34,625 Where are they keeping her? 116 00:09:36,936 --> 00:09:38,461 Your German is very good. 117 00:09:48,416 --> 00:09:49,383 Tucker... 118 00:09:50,536 --> 00:09:53,938 - Hurry up, we don't have much time. - Wait! 119 00:09:57,856 --> 00:09:58,857 Jackson? 120 00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,578 My friend! What is the meaning of this? 121 00:10:27,096 --> 00:10:30,066 My Fuehrer, it is now truly the ultimate fighting machine. 122 00:10:38,376 --> 00:10:41,346 Jackson! Claire! You are alive! 123 00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:44,343 Where are we? 124 00:10:44,536 --> 00:10:47,107 You knew where you were when you lured me here. 125 00:10:47,296 --> 00:10:49,458 - What are you talking about? - What's going on, Adolf? 126 00:10:49,656 --> 00:10:52,421 What did you do to Claire? Brainwash her? 127 00:10:52,616 --> 00:10:55,222 - Is she working for you now? - Nobody's done anything to me. 128 00:11:25,416 --> 00:11:27,384 You cloned us! 129 00:11:34,376 --> 00:11:36,185 They are my children. 130 00:11:39,496 --> 00:11:41,305 So that vision I had... 131 00:11:49,656 --> 00:11:51,181 You heartless dog of a man. 132 00:11:51,376 --> 00:11:54,585 You're tearing the world apart with your damn monsters. What more do you want? 133 00:12:44,656 --> 00:12:47,500 - Not so fast, Hitlerino. - I knew you would save us, Kilroy! 134 00:12:47,696 --> 00:12:49,346 De nada, compadre. 135 00:12:51,976 --> 00:12:55,059 Noooooo! 136 00:13:22,096 --> 00:13:24,064 We need to get the last two clones! 137 00:13:28,056 --> 00:13:29,501 How do you feel, my friend? 138 00:13:29,696 --> 00:13:33,143 Hook me up with a Mac and some fries and I'll be like new. 139 00:13:33,336 --> 00:13:36,101 - That's the spirit. - I'm gonna fuckin' die, man! 140 00:13:36,296 --> 00:13:38,298 No, it will be all right, my friend. 141 00:13:38,896 --> 00:13:43,538 Nine parts vodka, four parts grape flavoured fruit drink, 142 00:13:43,736 --> 00:13:46,706 freeze overnight, serve in plastic... 143 00:13:46,896 --> 00:13:49,866 the perfect Beyond Chunderdome. 144 00:14:01,976 --> 00:14:03,660 Shoot her, Tucker. No, shoot her, Tucker! 145 00:14:07,656 --> 00:14:09,260 Shut up! All of you. 146 00:14:09,456 --> 00:14:12,266 - This is a quite a conundrum. - Can't we just tie them up? 147 00:14:12,456 --> 00:14:14,663 We don't have time for prisoners. 148 00:14:14,856 --> 00:14:16,699 - What's my middle name? - Felix! 149 00:14:16,896 --> 00:14:19,217 What's my mortal fear? Water! 150 00:14:19,416 --> 00:14:22,067 Well, it seems Gibraltar has copied their memories perfectly. 151 00:14:22,256 --> 00:14:25,419 - Then it's impossible. - Not entirely, my friends. 152 00:14:25,616 --> 00:14:27,778 Whilst you can copy the information in someone's brain, 153 00:14:27,976 --> 00:14:29,978 you cannot copy their emotions. 154 00:14:30,176 --> 00:14:31,985 This is how we'll find the imposters. 155 00:14:32,176 --> 00:14:33,507 I see. 156 00:15:02,616 --> 00:15:04,186 That was beautiful. 157 00:15:05,016 --> 00:15:06,905 I wrote that for you, Claire. 158 00:15:08,296 --> 00:15:10,025 Thanks for the lessons, Pierre. 159 00:15:11,376 --> 00:15:15,381 Russians don't have emotions. So the test is no good on her, my friend. 160 00:15:15,576 --> 00:15:17,305 The cloned llsa will say whatever... 161 00:15:17,496 --> 00:15:19,817 she thinks I wanna hear to stay alive. 162 00:15:20,016 --> 00:15:22,064 But the real llsa... 163 00:15:22,256 --> 00:15:24,657 I don't know what she wants 164 00:15:24,856 --> 00:15:27,018 and I don't think she'll ever really know. 165 00:15:28,496 --> 00:15:30,260 So... Why shouldn't I kill you? 166 00:15:38,016 --> 00:15:39,700 Too easy. 167 00:15:43,976 --> 00:15:45,580 So, what was your answer? 168 00:17:00,576 --> 00:17:02,419 Cinque... Cinque! 169 00:17:03,096 --> 00:17:04,586 Cinque! 170 00:17:05,936 --> 00:17:06,903 Cinque! 171 00:17:09,216 --> 00:17:10,377 Cinque! 172 00:17:11,496 --> 00:17:12,827 Cinque! 173 00:19:00,536 --> 00:19:02,823 Oh, no... We killed Hitler's clone! 174 00:19:38,016 --> 00:19:39,347 What happened? 175 00:19:41,256 --> 00:19:42,826 Can we fix it? 176 00:20:02,416 --> 00:20:04,498 I fear it is too late, my friends. 177 00:20:28,896 --> 00:20:29,977 Tucker! 178 00:20:39,816 --> 00:20:41,386 Wake up, Tucker! 179 00:20:41,576 --> 00:20:42,657 Tucker! 180 00:20:43,656 --> 00:20:45,101 Not now! 181 00:20:46,296 --> 00:20:47,536 Tucker... 182 00:20:48,536 --> 00:20:49,822 Tucker? 183 00:20:57,856 --> 00:21:00,336 Right then, are we back in business? 184 00:21:59,656 --> 00:22:01,101 Ladies and gentlemen... 185 00:22:01,296 --> 00:22:04,937 I know you're all here just for the drinks, so I'll be brief. 186 00:22:05,816 --> 00:22:06,977 Only joking. 187 00:22:07,176 --> 00:22:10,419 Except for Marco Pranzo, he is just here for the drinks. 188 00:22:12,736 --> 00:22:14,181 We're all here today 189 00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:17,346 to honour the five finest soldiers I've had the under my command. 190 00:22:17,536 --> 00:22:18,503 I salute you. 191 00:22:18,696 --> 00:22:21,586 And now I have the honour of handing over the formalities 192 00:22:21,776 --> 00:22:26,259 to the President of the World, Signor Massimiliano Importante. 193 00:22:27,336 --> 00:22:30,021 Cinque, cinque, cinque, cinque. Ciao. 194 00:22:31,536 --> 00:22:32,503 Buona sera. 195 00:22:45,856 --> 00:22:48,336 Looks like we need to get some copies cut! 196 00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:52,501 There's only one. 197 00:22:52,696 --> 00:22:54,380 And now we dance. 198 00:23:32,856 --> 00:23:35,097 Are you sick of striking out? 199 00:23:35,296 --> 00:23:39,062 Moreno pre-lit matches are lit at the factory for your convenience. 200 00:23:39,256 --> 00:23:42,703 Moreno pre-lit matches... keeping you alight. 201 00:23:48,128 --> 00:23:59,196 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells Exclusive for http://UKsubtitles.ru 202 00:24:29,216 --> 00:24:32,220 - What do you want? - I want to speak to the manager. 203 00:24:32,416 --> 00:24:34,384 The manager does not want to see you. 14652

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