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Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
Exclusive for http://UKsubtitles.ru
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Match point - llsa and Jackson.
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As previously agreed,
the winners are awarded the right
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to subject the losers
to one dare of their choice,
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to be redeemed at any time.
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Don't screw this up.
7
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I apologise.
8
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Hey, llsa, did you listen to
that record I gave you?
9
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Sort of?
10
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- You don't like music?
- Hey, llsa...
11
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Here's your Remigio Matina album.
12
00:02:03,936 --> 00:02:06,621
It really opened my mind
to easy listening.
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- Everybody sit down!
- Greetings, Colonel.
14
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I said sit down!
15
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Now, you know I don't like
to use the sit-down gun,
16
00:02:16,056 --> 00:02:18,900
but this morning we just don't
have time for mucking about.
17
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Major Allied cities
have come under attack from...
18
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Nazi monst...
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Close... your... mouth.
20
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Nazi monsters.
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No conventional weapons
can stop them.
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And Allied command
was almost ready to surrender
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until they received a telegram
from this man.
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He calls himself Gibraltar, and claims
to be from the lost city of Atlantis.
25
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This might sound crazy, but the
Atlanteans have developed a weapon
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00:02:44,976 --> 00:02:46,466
that can stop the Nazi monsters.
27
00:02:46,656 --> 00:02:50,183
All they need is some of our
refined uranium to power it.
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Your mission is to take the uranium
to Atlantis,
29
00:02:53,296 --> 00:02:55,583
use this weapon to destroy
the Nazi monsters,
30
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:58,825
and for the love of God,
damn well kill Hitler.
31
00:03:01,896 --> 00:03:04,581
There's something I don't like about
this whole caper.
32
00:03:06,096 --> 00:03:09,305
This is an opportunity to learn from
an alternative civilisation, Claire.
33
00:03:09,496 --> 00:03:12,102
Mankind has been searching for
Atlantis for hundreds of years.
34
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I see your meaning, Claire.
35
00:03:14,296 --> 00:03:16,060
What if there is no Atlantis?
36
00:03:16,256 --> 00:03:18,179
And this Gibraltar character
is full of...
37
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Crab!
38
00:03:19,536 --> 00:03:21,982
- Precisely.
- No, look at that crab!
39
00:03:22,176 --> 00:03:25,385
Bet you could fry that up
and live off leftovers for a year.
40
00:03:25,576 --> 00:03:27,624
I think I just found
your dare, guys.
41
00:03:28,536 --> 00:03:30,823
Don't be a child, Jackson,
we're on a mission.
42
00:03:31,016 --> 00:03:34,225
Hey, betting on a table ball match
is an unbreakable bond...
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Right, Pierre?
44
00:03:35,656 --> 00:03:39,456
- It is the sport of kings.
- You want us to go into the water?
45
00:03:39,656 --> 00:03:43,263
What's the matter, Tucker?
Chicken?
46
00:03:44,976 --> 00:03:47,104
Nice one, Kilroy!
47
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I'll get your crab, if it means we can go
on without any more juvenile interruptions.
48
00:03:51,536 --> 00:03:53,425
- Aw, man!
- Except from Kilroy.
49
00:03:53,616 --> 00:03:55,380
Radical!
50
00:04:04,016 --> 00:04:05,859
My God, a shark!
51
00:04:08,736 --> 00:04:10,181
We have to help her!
52
00:04:11,336 --> 00:04:13,100
Give it here!
53
00:04:26,056 --> 00:04:27,706
llsa, can't you shoot it
with something?
54
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Hurry!
55
00:04:39,856 --> 00:04:42,257
Where else was I supposed
to put the munchies?
56
00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:43,742
Dr Snack's Jumbo Crunch.
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I'm afraid they're delicious,
my friends.
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00:05:07,896 --> 00:05:09,421
Atlantis!
59
00:05:11,616 --> 00:05:12,822
Claire...
60
00:05:23,616 --> 00:05:26,586
Greetings, ambassadors.
Welcome to Atlantis.
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00:05:26,776 --> 00:05:29,780
Now, let us indulge
in a refreshing beverage.
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00:05:29,976 --> 00:05:31,865
- It's all my fault.
- Pardon?
63
00:05:32,056 --> 00:05:35,617
Er... We ran into some difficulty
on the way here, Captain.
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00:05:35,816 --> 00:05:37,944
We lost two of our team.
65
00:05:38,136 --> 00:05:39,820
He's not taking it very well.
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- It's all my damn fault.
- How tragic indeed.
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00:05:43,016 --> 00:05:46,782
But these are the perils of the sea.
You do have the uranium?
68
00:05:48,136 --> 00:05:51,379
Superb. We can begin
the final alterations to the weapon!
69
00:05:51,576 --> 00:05:54,500
- No!
- What is the meaning of this?
70
00:05:56,616 --> 00:05:58,425
- Take it easy.
- Nobody's getting it!
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00:05:58,616 --> 00:06:01,222
I killed her!
I killed her...
72
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:05,461
And now the world's not worth
living in without her.
73
00:06:06,336 --> 00:06:08,816
Without this case,
the whole world is going to burn
74
00:06:09,016 --> 00:06:10,461
and I'm going to let it!
75
00:06:18,056 --> 00:06:20,423
Hush now, land-walker.
76
00:06:21,016 --> 00:06:24,418
Let this potion
ease the pain in your heart.
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00:06:27,736 --> 00:06:31,422
- Apologies, Captain...
- The pain of loss is a cruel serpent.
78
00:06:31,616 --> 00:06:35,416
It will take my technicians
several hours to ready the device.
79
00:06:35,616 --> 00:06:38,620
In the meantime,
I think you should get some rest.
80
00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:40,978
A quick siesta
would sharpen my senses.
81
00:06:41,176 --> 00:06:44,498
- Way ahead of ya, buddy.
- You're the best, Kilroy.
82
00:06:54,336 --> 00:06:56,020
- Tucker...
- I have to save you.
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Tucker!
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Claire!
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- You're alive!
- Why didn't you save me, Tucker?
86
00:07:02,536 --> 00:07:05,585
- I...
- You were afraid.
87
00:07:05,776 --> 00:07:09,144
- And now it's too late!
- No! No!
88
00:07:19,616 --> 00:07:20,981
Hey...
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00:07:26,456 --> 00:07:29,460
You know, you're much more
attractive than Claire.
90
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,624
I guess this is goodbye.
91
00:07:51,536 --> 00:07:55,382
Hey, Pierre... Pierre!
Wake up, Pierre.
92
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:59,137
Can I take batteries
from your remote for my video game?
93
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You're the best, Kilroy!
94
00:08:02,856 --> 00:08:06,099
How was your rest?
Do you feel any better, Tucker?
95
00:08:06,296 --> 00:08:08,219
- She's here.
- Oh, no.
96
00:08:08,416 --> 00:08:10,464
She's here. She's alive!
97
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,181
- Who's here?
- Claire!
98
00:08:12,376 --> 00:08:14,424
- I spoke with her.
- You are having visions.
99
00:08:14,616 --> 00:08:17,859
This can happen when not accustomed
to high pressures under the ocean.
100
00:08:18,056 --> 00:08:20,058
Did anyone else have any visions?
101
00:08:20,616 --> 00:08:24,701
I had some, but it's probably
from smoking all this Thai stick.
102
00:08:25,656 --> 00:08:27,738
She wasn't a damn vision!
She was real!
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00:08:27,936 --> 00:08:29,461
I'm going to find her.
104
00:08:31,576 --> 00:08:34,705
- It's for his own good.
- You have the deep-sea madness.
105
00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:38,503
- You'll have to sleep it off.
- I'm not crazy!
106
00:08:42,456 --> 00:08:45,505
Come, the preparations are complete.
107
00:08:46,496 --> 00:08:49,545
This fighting machine was developed
by our scientists
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00:08:49,736 --> 00:08:52,819
over the last century
as the ultimate self-defence weapon.
109
00:08:53,016 --> 00:08:58,056
Now that it is complete, we should
be able to defeat the Nazi monsters.
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00:08:58,256 --> 00:09:01,100
This is indeed
an impressive device, Gibraltar.
111
00:09:01,296 --> 00:09:03,947
llsa, is this not a wonderment?
112
00:09:05,576 --> 00:09:07,066
llsa?
113
00:09:12,096 --> 00:09:13,461
Hey!
114
00:09:15,456 --> 00:09:19,745
Hello, do you think I could get
some more of this lobster bisque?
115
00:09:32,896 --> 00:09:34,625
Where are they keeping her?
116
00:09:36,936 --> 00:09:38,461
Your German is very good.
117
00:09:48,416 --> 00:09:49,383
Tucker...
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- Hurry up, we don't have much time.
- Wait!
119
00:09:57,856 --> 00:09:58,857
Jackson?
120
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,578
My friend!
What is the meaning of this?
121
00:10:27,096 --> 00:10:30,066
My Fuehrer, it is now truly
the ultimate fighting machine.
122
00:10:38,376 --> 00:10:41,346
Jackson! Claire!
You are alive!
123
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:44,343
Where are we?
124
00:10:44,536 --> 00:10:47,107
You knew where you were
when you lured me here.
125
00:10:47,296 --> 00:10:49,458
- What are you talking about?
- What's going on, Adolf?
126
00:10:49,656 --> 00:10:52,421
What did you do to Claire?
Brainwash her?
127
00:10:52,616 --> 00:10:55,222
- Is she working for you now?
- Nobody's done anything to me.
128
00:11:25,416 --> 00:11:27,384
You cloned us!
129
00:11:34,376 --> 00:11:36,185
They are my children.
130
00:11:39,496 --> 00:11:41,305
So that vision I had...
131
00:11:49,656 --> 00:11:51,181
You heartless dog of a man.
132
00:11:51,376 --> 00:11:54,585
You're tearing the world apart with your
damn monsters. What more do you want?
133
00:12:44,656 --> 00:12:47,500
- Not so fast, Hitlerino.
- I knew you would save us, Kilroy!
134
00:12:47,696 --> 00:12:49,346
De nada, compadre.
135
00:12:51,976 --> 00:12:55,059
Noooooo!
136
00:13:22,096 --> 00:13:24,064
We need to get the last two clones!
137
00:13:28,056 --> 00:13:29,501
How do you feel, my friend?
138
00:13:29,696 --> 00:13:33,143
Hook me up with a Mac and some fries
and I'll be like new.
139
00:13:33,336 --> 00:13:36,101
- That's the spirit.
- I'm gonna fuckin' die, man!
140
00:13:36,296 --> 00:13:38,298
No, it will be all right, my friend.
141
00:13:38,896 --> 00:13:43,538
Nine parts vodka, four parts
grape flavoured fruit drink,
142
00:13:43,736 --> 00:13:46,706
freeze overnight,
serve in plastic...
143
00:13:46,896 --> 00:13:49,866
the perfect Beyond Chunderdome.
144
00:14:01,976 --> 00:14:03,660
Shoot her, Tucker.
No, shoot her, Tucker!
145
00:14:07,656 --> 00:14:09,260
Shut up! All of you.
146
00:14:09,456 --> 00:14:12,266
- This is a quite a conundrum.
- Can't we just tie them up?
147
00:14:12,456 --> 00:14:14,663
We don't have time for prisoners.
148
00:14:14,856 --> 00:14:16,699
- What's my middle name?
- Felix!
149
00:14:16,896 --> 00:14:19,217
What's my mortal fear?
Water!
150
00:14:19,416 --> 00:14:22,067
Well, it seems Gibraltar has copied
their memories perfectly.
151
00:14:22,256 --> 00:14:25,419
- Then it's impossible.
- Not entirely, my friends.
152
00:14:25,616 --> 00:14:27,778
Whilst you can copy
the information in someone's brain,
153
00:14:27,976 --> 00:14:29,978
you cannot copy their emotions.
154
00:14:30,176 --> 00:14:31,985
This is how
we'll find the imposters.
155
00:14:32,176 --> 00:14:33,507
I see.
156
00:15:02,616 --> 00:15:04,186
That was beautiful.
157
00:15:05,016 --> 00:15:06,905
I wrote that for you, Claire.
158
00:15:08,296 --> 00:15:10,025
Thanks for the lessons, Pierre.
159
00:15:11,376 --> 00:15:15,381
Russians don't have emotions.
So the test is no good on her, my friend.
160
00:15:15,576 --> 00:15:17,305
The cloned llsa will say whatever...
161
00:15:17,496 --> 00:15:19,817
she thinks I wanna hear
to stay alive.
162
00:15:20,016 --> 00:15:22,064
But the real llsa...
163
00:15:22,256 --> 00:15:24,657
I don't know what she wants
164
00:15:24,856 --> 00:15:27,018
and I don't think
she'll ever really know.
165
00:15:28,496 --> 00:15:30,260
So...
Why shouldn't I kill you?
166
00:15:38,016 --> 00:15:39,700
Too easy.
167
00:15:43,976 --> 00:15:45,580
So, what was your answer?
168
00:17:00,576 --> 00:17:02,419
Cinque... Cinque!
169
00:17:03,096 --> 00:17:04,586
Cinque!
170
00:17:05,936 --> 00:17:06,903
Cinque!
171
00:17:09,216 --> 00:17:10,377
Cinque!
172
00:17:11,496 --> 00:17:12,827
Cinque!
173
00:19:00,536 --> 00:19:02,823
Oh, no...
We killed Hitler's clone!
174
00:19:38,016 --> 00:19:39,347
What happened?
175
00:19:41,256 --> 00:19:42,826
Can we fix it?
176
00:20:02,416 --> 00:20:04,498
I fear it is too late, my friends.
177
00:20:28,896 --> 00:20:29,977
Tucker!
178
00:20:39,816 --> 00:20:41,386
Wake up, Tucker!
179
00:20:41,576 --> 00:20:42,657
Tucker!
180
00:20:43,656 --> 00:20:45,101
Not now!
181
00:20:46,296 --> 00:20:47,536
Tucker...
182
00:20:48,536 --> 00:20:49,822
Tucker?
183
00:20:57,856 --> 00:21:00,336
Right then, are we back in business?
184
00:21:59,656 --> 00:22:01,101
Ladies and gentlemen...
185
00:22:01,296 --> 00:22:04,937
I know you're all here just
for the drinks, so I'll be brief.
186
00:22:05,816 --> 00:22:06,977
Only joking.
187
00:22:07,176 --> 00:22:10,419
Except for Marco Pranzo,
he is just here for the drinks.
188
00:22:12,736 --> 00:22:14,181
We're all here today
189
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:17,346
to honour the five finest soldiers
I've had the under my command.
190
00:22:17,536 --> 00:22:18,503
I salute you.
191
00:22:18,696 --> 00:22:21,586
And now I have the honour
of handing over the formalities
192
00:22:21,776 --> 00:22:26,259
to the President of the World,
Signor Massimiliano Importante.
193
00:22:27,336 --> 00:22:30,021
Cinque, cinque, cinque, cinque.
Ciao.
194
00:22:31,536 --> 00:22:32,503
Buona sera.
195
00:22:45,856 --> 00:22:48,336
Looks like we need to get
some copies cut!
196
00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:52,501
There's only one.
197
00:22:52,696 --> 00:22:54,380
And now we dance.
198
00:23:32,856 --> 00:23:35,097
Are you sick of striking out?
199
00:23:35,296 --> 00:23:39,062
Moreno pre-lit matches are lit
at the factory for your convenience.
200
00:23:39,256 --> 00:23:42,703
Moreno pre-lit matches...
keeping you alight.
201
00:23:48,128 --> 00:23:59,196
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
Exclusive for http://UKsubtitles.ru
202
00:24:29,216 --> 00:24:32,220
- What do you want?
- I want to speak to the manager.
203
00:24:32,416 --> 00:24:34,384
The manager does not want
to see you.
14652
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