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1
00:00:10,547 --> 00:00:13,714
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:17,673 --> 00:00:19,923
Hey.
Have you ever gotten
a mani-pedi?
3
00:00:20,589 --> 00:00:22,631
Uh, I've gotten
a manicure.
4
00:00:22,714 --> 00:00:25,839
-Really?
-Uh, but I've never
got a pedicure.
5
00:00:25,923 --> 00:00:28,130
The toes rank
second on the body
6
00:00:28,214 --> 00:00:30,923
only to the testicles
in terms of how
repulsive they are.
7
00:00:31,005 --> 00:00:33,881
-Hey. You know Hobe Turner?
-He was a writer on Seinfeld.
8
00:00:33,964 --> 00:00:36,506
-Yeah. Of course. Yeah.
-Okay. Doing a movie
9
00:00:36,589 --> 00:00:39,506
starring Jon Hamm,
and Jon Hamm
10
00:00:39,589 --> 00:00:42,798
is playing
a Larry David-type writer.
11
00:00:42,881 --> 00:00:46,381
They're going against type,
and he wants to, uh,
12
00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:48,714
follow you around,
spend a day with you.
13
00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:50,005
Yeah, let's do it.
14
00:00:50,089 --> 00:00:51,881
I'm gonna try and make
it happen for tomorrow.
15
00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:53,381
-That'll be fun.
-Yeah, it will be fun.
16
00:00:53,464 --> 00:00:54,381
Susie:
We're back!
17
00:00:54,464 --> 00:00:55,714
All right, listen.
18
00:00:55,798 --> 00:00:58,005
We are not getting along
at all.
19
00:00:58,089 --> 00:00:59,756
Susie and I are at odds.
20
00:00:59,839 --> 00:01:01,547
Oh, my God.
I, I don't even know--
21
00:01:01,631 --> 00:01:02,881
-Susie: Saw your car!
-Hi!
22
00:01:02,964 --> 00:01:04,631
-Hi, ladies. Hi.
-Oh.
23
00:01:04,714 --> 00:01:06,255
-Well, well, well.
-Hi.
24
00:01:06,339 --> 00:01:07,381
-Hey, look who's here?
-Hey.
25
00:01:07,464 --> 00:01:09,839
-I'm glad you're here.
-Are you?
26
00:01:09,923 --> 00:01:12,047
I never thought
I'd hear those words
come out of your mouth.
27
00:01:12,130 --> 00:01:14,464
Okay.
So, Becky, my sister...
28
00:01:14,547 --> 00:01:16,464
-Larry: Uh-huh.
-...is selling that house
we bought her.
29
00:01:16,547 --> 00:01:19,005
-Really?
-And what's really
interesting is,
30
00:01:19,089 --> 00:01:20,172
it's appreciated,
31
00:01:20,255 --> 00:01:21,714
because that section
of town is, like--
32
00:01:21,798 --> 00:01:24,005
Fantastic!
Make a little dough!
33
00:01:24,089 --> 00:01:25,631
Becky's gonna make some money.
34
00:01:25,714 --> 00:01:27,839
What do you mean
she'll make some money?
35
00:01:27,923 --> 00:01:29,506
I bought the house.
36
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,422
-We bought the house.
-Larry: Okay, yeah, okay.
37
00:01:31,506 --> 00:01:33,089
-And we gave it...
-Larry: We bought the house.
38
00:01:33,172 --> 00:01:34,089
-...as a gift.
-Okay.
39
00:01:34,172 --> 00:01:35,923
A gift-- It wasn't a gift
40
00:01:36,005 --> 00:01:37,756
for her to sell
and make money.
41
00:01:37,839 --> 00:01:39,255
It was a gift for her
to live in.
42
00:01:39,339 --> 00:01:41,089
-You gave it to her.
It was a gift.
-Cheryl: Yeah. You--
43
00:01:41,172 --> 00:01:43,047
I didn't give her the house
so she could sell it.
44
00:01:43,130 --> 00:01:44,464
What if she sold it
in three days?
45
00:01:44,547 --> 00:01:46,047
Would she be allowed
to keep the money?
46
00:01:46,130 --> 00:01:48,339
-She's flipping houses now?
-She's been there for 15 years.
47
00:01:48,422 --> 00:01:49,756
That's not exactly a flip.
48
00:01:49,839 --> 00:01:52,714
So she's gonna sell it
and make this tremendous
profit?
49
00:01:52,798 --> 00:01:55,214
-And get everything?
-That's, that's crazy talk.
50
00:01:55,297 --> 00:01:56,881
-Larry: That's insane.
-Why are you siding with him?
51
00:01:56,964 --> 00:01:58,339
-What do you mean,
why am I siding with him?
-No!
52
00:01:58,422 --> 00:01:59,714
Jeff:
That's the right thing!
53
00:01:59,798 --> 00:02:01,631
Listen, I don't wanna be
54
00:02:01,714 --> 00:02:02,631
in the middle of this.
55
00:02:02,714 --> 00:02:04,297
I don't really
talk to Becky.
56
00:02:04,381 --> 00:02:05,381
Why?
57
00:02:05,464 --> 00:02:07,589
We've grown apart
through the years.
58
00:02:07,673 --> 00:02:09,631
She calls me
Queen Elizabeth.
59
00:02:09,714 --> 00:02:11,673
She calls herself
Princess Margaret--
60
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,214
-Queen Elizabeth?
-Yeah.
61
00:02:13,297 --> 00:02:15,047
Oh, yeah.
'Cause you got everything.
62
00:02:15,130 --> 00:02:17,798
-That's what she says.
-And she's jealous.
63
00:02:17,881 --> 00:02:19,547
So if you're comfortable...
64
00:02:19,631 --> 00:02:22,130
-going to her and asking
her for money--
-Oh, you better believe it.
65
00:02:22,214 --> 00:02:23,923
Oh, you better believe it.
I feel comfortable.
66
00:02:24,005 --> 00:02:25,923
All right, well, you do it,
because Cheryl doesn't
feel comfortable.
67
00:02:26,005 --> 00:02:27,714
-Is that a character?
-Larry: Yeah. Kramer.
68
00:02:27,798 --> 00:02:29,214
-Jeff: Oh.
-Oh, I feel comfortable.
69
00:02:29,297 --> 00:02:32,005
-Cheryl: Okay.
-Oh, you better believe it.
70
00:02:33,422 --> 00:02:36,839
This Hobe Turner movie
is, like, one of the--
is a big thing for me.
71
00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:38,798
-Yeah.
-And I'm excited to do it.
And, you know,
72
00:02:38,881 --> 00:02:40,464
the guy is kind of
based on you.
73
00:02:40,547 --> 00:02:43,506
So the best way
I can figure it
is to just hang out.
74
00:02:43,589 --> 00:02:45,964
-You know. I ask--
-It's not gonna be easy, Jon.
75
00:02:46,047 --> 00:02:47,589
I'm a very complex man.
76
00:02:47,673 --> 00:02:49,506
-Very complicated.
-(laughs) I get it.
77
00:02:49,589 --> 00:02:51,422
But I just wanna say
I'd really appreciate it.
78
00:02:51,506 --> 00:02:53,214
-You'd appreciate it.
-Yes, I would.
79
00:02:53,297 --> 00:02:57,297
Really. This--
this word "appreciate,"
it's very, very odd.
80
00:02:57,381 --> 00:02:59,506
People seem to think
that if they use
the word "appreciate,"
81
00:02:59,589 --> 00:03:01,506
all of a sudden,
the seas part for them.
82
00:03:01,589 --> 00:03:04,339
"Oh, hey, I'm so sorry
that I...
83
00:03:04,422 --> 00:03:06,089
"I robbed your house
and burned it down.
84
00:03:06,172 --> 00:03:08,297
I'd really appreciate it if
you wouldn't tell the cops."
85
00:03:08,381 --> 00:03:12,089
-You know?
-(laughing): This is exactly
what I'm talking about.
86
00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:16,047
-This is perfect.
-All right. Let's order
the main course.
87
00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:17,673
Yes, we should.
88
00:03:17,756 --> 00:03:20,130
-There's so many
things on this.
-I can't look at these menus.
89
00:03:20,214 --> 00:03:22,714
There's so much.
Oh, you know what?
90
00:03:22,798 --> 00:03:25,673
We should just ask them.
They got-- They know
what they're doing.
91
00:03:25,756 --> 00:03:26,923
Ho-bo-bo. Ho-ho-ho-ho.
92
00:03:27,005 --> 00:03:28,756
Why are you--
Why are you doing this?
93
00:03:28,839 --> 00:03:32,339
Excuse me. What, uh--
What'd you guys get?
94
00:03:32,422 --> 00:03:33,923
Why do you want to know?
95
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,923
Because we're about to order.
96
00:03:36,005 --> 00:03:37,631
But, uh, you have a menu.
97
00:03:37,714 --> 00:03:39,589
Yeah, but I figured,
you know,
98
00:03:39,673 --> 00:03:42,047
you're the experts,
why not copy you.
99
00:03:42,130 --> 00:03:44,297
Why would you think
we're the experts?
100
00:03:44,381 --> 00:03:45,798
Chinese.
101
00:03:45,881 --> 00:03:48,798
-Ai-yah!
-That doesn't make us
an expert on food.
102
00:03:48,881 --> 00:03:50,005
Yeah. Yeah, I think it does.
103
00:03:50,089 --> 00:03:51,881
I mean, if there was
a table of fat people,
104
00:03:51,964 --> 00:03:53,297
and a table of skinny people,
105
00:03:53,381 --> 00:03:55,339
I'd ask the fat people
what they were getting.
106
00:03:55,422 --> 00:03:58,297
'Cause they're a little
more expert at eating
than the skinny people.
107
00:03:58,381 --> 00:03:59,506
Anyway...
108
00:03:59,589 --> 00:04:02,673
-Return to your meal.
-All: Thank you.
109
00:04:04,506 --> 00:04:07,297
-What?
-This is gold.
110
00:04:10,214 --> 00:04:11,339
-Schmo-hawk.
-Yeah, schmo-hawk.
111
00:04:11,422 --> 00:04:12,506
-I thought I heard that.
-Yeah.
112
00:04:12,589 --> 00:04:14,089
But I wasn't sure
I heard it right.
113
00:04:14,172 --> 00:04:15,714
-S-C-H?
-S-C-H.
114
00:04:15,798 --> 00:04:16,923
You know,
you got the "schmo."
115
00:04:17,005 --> 00:04:19,297
-(laughing)
-It's a schmo. Yeah.
116
00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:22,214
It's the browsing, right?
You can't stand it.
117
00:04:22,297 --> 00:04:23,673
-You hate it.
-No browsing.
118
00:04:23,756 --> 00:04:25,422
-No browsing. Yeah.
-No browsing.
119
00:04:25,506 --> 00:04:28,589
-You own this stand?
-No. I work for the owner.
120
00:04:28,673 --> 00:04:31,172
What do you do
if you have to go
to the bathroom?
121
00:04:31,255 --> 00:04:32,506
I don't go.
122
00:04:33,381 --> 00:04:34,756
You don't go.
123
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:36,130
The whole shift,
you don't go?
124
00:04:36,214 --> 00:04:38,464
I can't go.
I have to watch.
125
00:04:38,547 --> 00:04:39,964
All right. You know what?
126
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,005
Do you have to go
to the bathroom now?
127
00:04:43,339 --> 00:04:45,089
-Go. I'll watch it.
-You'll watch it?
128
00:04:45,172 --> 00:04:47,297
-I'll watch the stand. Go.
-Okay. Put this on.
129
00:04:47,381 --> 00:04:49,089
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
-Thank you.
Thank you so--
130
00:04:49,172 --> 00:04:50,547
Yeah. You're, you're,
you're welcome.
131
00:04:50,631 --> 00:04:51,881
I really have to go.
132
00:04:51,964 --> 00:04:53,339
-No browsing, okay?
-No browsing.
133
00:04:53,422 --> 00:04:55,005
-You browse, you buy.
-You browse, you buy.
134
00:04:55,089 --> 00:04:57,589
-Thank you.
-Take your time.
Take your time.
135
00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:59,881
Get your papers here.
Papers!
136
00:04:59,964 --> 00:05:01,923
Magazines. Newspapers!
137
00:05:02,964 --> 00:05:04,339
Sir.
138
00:05:04,422 --> 00:05:05,798
-Oh.
-Sir.
139
00:05:05,881 --> 00:05:08,130
-Sorry, no browsing.
-I'm not browsing.
140
00:05:08,214 --> 00:05:11,673
The rule here is,
you buy, then browse.
141
00:05:11,756 --> 00:05:13,798
Customer:
I browse to buy.
142
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:15,422
I know, but that's--
I'm sorry.
143
00:05:15,506 --> 00:05:16,881
That's, that's just
not gonna work.
144
00:05:16,964 --> 00:05:18,339
What the fuck?
145
00:05:18,422 --> 00:05:19,923
-Hey!
-Hey.
146
00:05:20,005 --> 00:05:21,756
Yeah, sorry. Yeah.
147
00:05:22,214 --> 00:05:24,839
L.D. What the--
What are you, nuts?
148
00:05:24,923 --> 00:05:26,589
-No.
-Are you having
a breakdown?
149
00:05:26,673 --> 00:05:28,172
-Richard: Hey, Jon.
-Hey, how are you?
150
00:05:28,255 --> 00:05:29,881
-Jon Hamm.
-Yeah, it's nice to meet you.
Big fan.
151
00:05:29,964 --> 00:05:31,714
What is-- What the f--
What, are you guys...
152
00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:33,255
-...escaped from
a mental institution?
-No.
153
00:05:33,339 --> 00:05:34,839
The guy had to go
to the bathroom,
so I took over.
154
00:05:34,923 --> 00:05:36,714
-So get this--
-What, what are
you guys doing?
155
00:05:36,798 --> 00:05:38,506
Jon's starring in a movie.
156
00:05:38,589 --> 00:05:40,547
-Well, what else is new?
-And the character...
157
00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:42,172
The character's based on me.
158
00:05:42,255 --> 00:05:43,673
So he's kind of shadowing me.
159
00:05:43,756 --> 00:05:45,839
What's the name of the movie?
The Biggest Asshole...
160
00:05:45,923 --> 00:05:47,714
-... That Ever
Roamed the Earth?
-Larry: Oh, I like that.
161
00:05:47,798 --> 00:05:49,422
-(laughing)
-Yeah, that's, that's good.
162
00:05:49,506 --> 00:05:51,339
-I'll tell Hobe.
-That's good.
163
00:05:51,422 --> 00:05:54,214
You're a great actor,
but this could be the end.
164
00:05:54,297 --> 00:05:55,506
So what are you doing?
165
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,255
You know Michelle,
the CEO...
166
00:05:57,339 --> 00:05:58,964
-...I'm dating?
-Yeah, I know she's a CEO.
167
00:05:59,047 --> 00:06:01,339
Well, I gotta go
furniture shopping
with her today.
168
00:06:01,422 --> 00:06:03,130
Furniture shopping?
169
00:06:03,214 --> 00:06:04,381
Yeah, but I gotta
really get going.
170
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:06,339
-Larry: Okay.
-Why don't we have a meal?
171
00:06:06,422 --> 00:06:07,673
We haven't had dinner
in a while.
172
00:06:07,756 --> 00:06:09,172
Yeah, let's do it.
Let's have dinner.
173
00:06:09,255 --> 00:06:11,631
-Can, uh, Michelle come?
-No.
174
00:06:11,714 --> 00:06:13,798
Listen, I--
I really want her
to come. I--
175
00:06:13,881 --> 00:06:15,339
I really would appreciate it.
176
00:06:15,422 --> 00:06:17,673
See? See what I'm saying
with the "appreciate"?
177
00:06:17,756 --> 00:06:19,714
-I'm finally starting to get it.
I see what you're saying. Yes.
-Huh? You see it?
178
00:06:19,798 --> 00:06:21,130
Richard:
What are you
talking about?
179
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,881
I don't succumb
to "appreciate."
180
00:06:23,964 --> 00:06:26,214
I'm not gonna bring her.
For you, okay?
181
00:06:26,297 --> 00:06:27,714
-Larry: Yeah.
-To honor our friendship.
182
00:06:27,798 --> 00:06:29,964
-But she's gonna give me
shit for it.
-Larry: So what?
183
00:06:30,047 --> 00:06:31,756
You're gonna pay
down the line for this.
184
00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:34,464
-You text me where you
want to meet, asshole.
-Okay.
185
00:06:37,089 --> 00:06:39,130
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
186
00:06:39,214 --> 00:06:40,381
-Oh, sure.
-That was quick.
187
00:06:40,464 --> 00:06:42,881
-I feel so much better.
-I'm sure you do.
188
00:06:42,964 --> 00:06:44,547
-Get this off me.
-Okay.
189
00:06:44,631 --> 00:06:46,964
-What do I owe you?
-You owe me nothing.
190
00:06:47,047 --> 00:06:49,839
-Nothing. Oh, boy.
-Larry: No. I insist.
191
00:06:49,923 --> 00:06:52,756
-Yeah.
-Thank you. That piss
was worth $10, easy.
192
00:06:52,839 --> 00:06:55,673
Well, see ya, man.
I mean, look what you did.
193
00:06:55,756 --> 00:06:57,506
Yeah.
194
00:06:57,589 --> 00:06:59,506
A $10 piss.
195
00:07:01,339 --> 00:07:04,756
-Mm. Mm.
-And he offered me $10
to take a piss.
196
00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:07,172
-Wow.
-And I'm thinking...
197
00:07:07,255 --> 00:07:09,339
what a great idea
for a business.
198
00:07:09,422 --> 00:07:11,964
You relieve people
who have jobs
199
00:07:12,047 --> 00:07:13,923
where they can't
use a bathroom.
200
00:07:14,005 --> 00:07:16,547
Toll booth collectors,
shoe shine stands,
201
00:07:16,631 --> 00:07:18,130
parking garage attendants.
202
00:07:18,214 --> 00:07:20,714
They contact you
on your phone,
it's an app,
203
00:07:20,798 --> 00:07:23,547
and then you go down
and man the store,
204
00:07:23,631 --> 00:07:24,798
when they go to the bathroom.
205
00:07:24,881 --> 00:07:26,381
Do you know how many times
I've peed
206
00:07:26,464 --> 00:07:27,798
in a fuckin'
Gatorade bottle
207
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,381
when I couldn't find
a fuckin' bathroom?
208
00:07:29,464 --> 00:07:30,964
Plenty of fuckin' times.
209
00:07:31,047 --> 00:07:32,089
Mm-hmm.
210
00:07:32,172 --> 00:07:33,756
And know how
many times I forgot
211
00:07:33,839 --> 00:07:35,214
I peed in that
Gatorade bottle
212
00:07:35,297 --> 00:07:37,506
and drank that shit?
Once.
213
00:07:38,047 --> 00:07:39,506
That's a fuckin'
good idea.
214
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:40,756
Thanks for sharing
that story.
215
00:07:40,839 --> 00:07:42,172
This could be
the pee Amazon.
216
00:07:42,255 --> 00:07:44,339
-You know? This, this is big.
-This could be big.
217
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:45,547
-This could be very big.
-Every fuckin' where.
218
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:46,964
-Yeah.
-Very big. We need a name.
219
00:07:47,047 --> 00:07:48,798
-Poober.
-Poober!
220
00:07:48,881 --> 00:07:50,964
-Meh. It's too close to Uber.
-Meh.
221
00:07:51,047 --> 00:07:52,631
I got something.
222
00:07:52,714 --> 00:07:54,005
"Gotta Go."
223
00:07:54,089 --> 00:07:56,130
-Like that.
That's catchy as hell.
-You like that?
224
00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:59,339
♪ ♪
225
00:08:06,255 --> 00:08:07,714
(police siren in distance)
226
00:08:08,547 --> 00:08:10,714
(doorbell rings)
227
00:08:12,506 --> 00:08:15,089
-Oh. Hey!
-Hey, Becky.
228
00:08:15,172 --> 00:08:17,547
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
229
00:08:18,381 --> 00:08:20,381
Yeah. Okay. Come on.
230
00:08:20,964 --> 00:08:22,714
Larry: (scoffs)
Wow.
231
00:08:22,798 --> 00:08:24,714
What, did you have
a party in here?
232
00:08:24,798 --> 00:08:27,214
Nope. Nope. Just me.
233
00:08:27,297 --> 00:08:29,047
Can I make you
something to drink?
234
00:08:29,756 --> 00:08:31,255
Uh, no, thanks.
235
00:08:31,339 --> 00:08:33,005
Okay.
236
00:08:33,089 --> 00:08:35,464
You know, you're trying
to sell a house.
237
00:08:35,547 --> 00:08:36,923
-It's-- (laughs)
-Oh.
238
00:08:37,005 --> 00:08:38,964
It's gonna be hard
to sell a house like,
like this.
239
00:08:39,047 --> 00:08:40,923
I gotta tidy up a bit,
I know.
240
00:08:41,005 --> 00:08:43,381
You know, it's all based
on first impressions.
241
00:08:43,464 --> 00:08:45,714
-People come over,
they're gonna see this...
-Yeah.
242
00:08:45,798 --> 00:08:47,047
...and then no one's
gonna buy it.
243
00:08:47,130 --> 00:08:49,089
All right.
I'll take care of it, Dad.
244
00:08:49,172 --> 00:08:51,089
-(laughs) Oh. Yeah.
-Hey.
245
00:08:51,172 --> 00:08:53,964
Heard about the whole
Cheryl-Ted blowup in Mexico.
246
00:08:54,047 --> 00:08:55,798
-Oh.
-(laughs)
Oh, boy.
247
00:08:55,881 --> 00:08:58,047
-Little bit of ash. Sorry.
-Yeah, that was...
248
00:08:58,130 --> 00:09:00,172
-That was wild.
-Yeah, that made me happy.
249
00:09:00,255 --> 00:09:02,005
-Oh, you-- Really?
-Little Miss Perfect.
Yeah.
250
00:09:02,089 --> 00:09:03,923
It made me feel better
about myself.
251
00:09:04,589 --> 00:09:06,631
Boy, you two used
to get along so well.
252
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:08,631
Yeah, well, not anymore.
253
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,964
You sure I can't get you
something to drink?
254
00:09:11,047 --> 00:09:12,964
No. What are you drinking
in the daytime for?
255
00:09:13,047 --> 00:09:15,381
-Who drinks in the daytime?
-People who go to brunch.
256
00:09:15,464 --> 00:09:16,881
Well, we're not at brunch.
257
00:09:16,964 --> 00:09:18,839
Okay.
So I am not having
a mimosa.
258
00:09:19,381 --> 00:09:22,297
-All right.
-What, what, what do you--
What do you want?
259
00:09:22,381 --> 00:09:24,005
-What, what's going on?
-Okay. Well,
260
00:09:24,089 --> 00:09:25,714
obviously, I heard
you're selling the house.
261
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:27,339
Yeah.
(clears throat)
262
00:09:27,422 --> 00:09:29,756
You know,
the thing is, Becky,
263
00:09:29,839 --> 00:09:32,839
you know, I did buy you
the house, so...
264
00:09:32,923 --> 00:09:34,881
-I know.
-It's kind of my house.
265
00:09:34,964 --> 00:09:37,756
-No. No, you--
-I paid for the house.
266
00:09:37,839 --> 00:09:40,881
-And I thought it was only
fair and reasonable--
-Okay.
267
00:09:40,964 --> 00:09:44,005
I'm gonna let you
keep the profits
268
00:09:44,089 --> 00:09:45,422
to, to the house.
269
00:09:45,506 --> 00:09:48,381
But of course,
I'll get my investment back.
270
00:09:48,464 --> 00:09:51,464
No, no, no. No.
271
00:09:51,839 --> 00:09:55,631
-Hey.
Say I gave you $700,000--
-It's my house.
272
00:09:56,923 --> 00:09:59,422
Please don't do
this to me, okay?
273
00:09:59,506 --> 00:10:01,422
Please don't do this.
This is my house.
274
00:10:01,506 --> 00:10:02,923
It's all I have left.
275
00:10:03,005 --> 00:10:06,798
(sobbing): Oh, my God.
Please don't do this to me.
276
00:10:06,881 --> 00:10:09,005
I, I lost my job.
277
00:10:09,089 --> 00:10:10,631
And my boyfriend
broke up with me.
278
00:10:10,839 --> 00:10:12,631
-Geez. Don't cry--
-He was from Poland,
279
00:10:12,714 --> 00:10:15,881
and it turns out
all he wanted was a visa.
280
00:10:15,964 --> 00:10:18,923
-(sobbing)
-Okay, you...
281
00:10:19,005 --> 00:10:21,964
Forget, forget it.
You, you, you can keep
the house.
282
00:10:22,047 --> 00:10:24,089
You can keep all the money,
keep, keep the profits.
283
00:10:24,172 --> 00:10:26,047
-Keep, keep it all.
-(Becky panting)
284
00:10:26,130 --> 00:10:29,547
-Is this a joke?
-No. No. No.
285
00:10:29,631 --> 00:10:30,881
-You mean it?
-Keep it all.
286
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,881
-Thank you, Larry.
-Keep it. You can have it.
287
00:10:33,964 --> 00:10:36,047
Yeah. It's okay.
288
00:10:38,798 --> 00:10:40,881
♪
289
00:10:42,923 --> 00:10:44,130
-Really?
-Yeah.
290
00:10:44,214 --> 00:10:45,631
-Wow.
-I know.
291
00:10:45,714 --> 00:10:47,964
I think I always had a secret
little crush on her.
292
00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:49,339
-Me too.
-Yeah.
293
00:10:49,422 --> 00:10:51,255
It was in the daytime.
294
00:10:51,339 --> 00:10:53,005
I love daytime sex.
295
00:10:53,089 --> 00:10:54,589
You're filled with energy.
296
00:10:54,673 --> 00:10:57,381
-Yes! I mean, nighttime,
you're so close to going to bed.
-Filled!
297
00:10:57,464 --> 00:10:59,297
-Right!
-Why are you doing that
before you go to bed?
298
00:10:59,381 --> 00:11:01,130
-The whole thing should be
all flipped around.
-I know.
299
00:11:01,214 --> 00:11:02,714
-It should never happen
at night.
-The daytime.
300
00:11:02,798 --> 00:11:03,881
-Always during the day.
-Yes.
301
00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:05,422
Ah. It's Jon.
302
00:11:05,506 --> 00:11:07,631
-What's going on?
-Nothing. We're just
going out to dinner.
303
00:11:07,714 --> 00:11:10,130
-Is that working out okay?
-Yeah. Yeah.
304
00:11:10,214 --> 00:11:12,172
Cheryl:
Where is he?
305
00:11:14,422 --> 00:11:17,381
Did you have sex
with my sister Becky?
306
00:11:17,464 --> 00:11:19,047
Who said that?
307
00:11:19,756 --> 00:11:20,714
Becky!
308
00:11:20,798 --> 00:11:21,964
What did she say?
309
00:11:22,047 --> 00:11:24,214
She said,
"Guess who I fucked?"
310
00:11:24,297 --> 00:11:27,005
-Huh...
-Oh, my God.
311
00:11:27,089 --> 00:11:29,881
-He did.
-Oh, my God!
312
00:11:29,964 --> 00:11:31,839
-What, what are you thinking?
-I was there,
313
00:11:31,923 --> 00:11:35,506
and she was,
she-she was upset,
she was sobbing,
314
00:11:35,589 --> 00:11:37,506
and I consoled her, and...
315
00:11:37,589 --> 00:11:39,339
And, you know, it just,
it happened.
316
00:11:39,422 --> 00:11:41,089
-Larry: That's why.
-Yeah, what about the money?
317
00:11:41,172 --> 00:11:42,464
I told her, uh,
318
00:11:42,547 --> 00:11:44,339
she didn't have to, uh,
share the money with me.
319
00:11:44,422 --> 00:11:46,673
-Oh, my God.
-That's, that's
like prostitution.
320
00:11:46,756 --> 00:11:49,214
-It was consensual sex
between two adults!
-Oh, my God.
321
00:11:49,297 --> 00:11:52,005
-There's nothing wrong
with that, as far as I know!
-Susie: She was vulnerable.
322
00:11:52,089 --> 00:11:54,130
We were all in the
living room over there
323
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,673
when you gave a big speech,
324
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,381
and you were gonna
march over there
325
00:11:57,464 --> 00:11:59,464
-and get your money back
for that house.
-I did march over there,
326
00:11:59,547 --> 00:12:00,923
and then I felt sorry for her.
327
00:12:01,005 --> 00:12:02,381
-Oh, my--
-Yeah, you marched over there,
328
00:12:02,464 --> 00:12:03,756
you got
a fuckin' blow job,
329
00:12:03,839 --> 00:12:05,214
and then you gave
the house away.
330
00:12:05,297 --> 00:12:07,172
There's a million
fuckin' women
in the world.
331
00:12:07,255 --> 00:12:10,214
-You have to have sex
with Cheryl's sister?
-What?
332
00:12:10,297 --> 00:12:11,839
-Oh. Hey, Jonny.
-(Jon laughs)
333
00:12:11,923 --> 00:12:13,673
Uh, yeah.
The door was ajar.
334
00:12:13,756 --> 00:12:14,839
The fuck are you
doing in my house?
335
00:12:14,923 --> 00:12:16,381
What is Jon Hamm
doing in my house?
336
00:12:16,464 --> 00:12:18,464
-He's, he's, um...
-Hold on. Yeah,
I should get this down.
337
00:12:18,547 --> 00:12:19,673
He's starring in a movie,
338
00:12:19,756 --> 00:12:21,214
and he's kind of,
you know, shadowing me.
339
00:12:21,297 --> 00:12:22,839
He's bas--
The character's based on me.
340
00:12:22,923 --> 00:12:25,214
So, the character
is a disgusting pervert?
341
00:12:25,297 --> 00:12:27,047
That's good.
(laughs)
342
00:12:27,130 --> 00:12:29,047
It's actually not funny,
Jon Hamm.
343
00:12:29,297 --> 00:12:31,047
Oh, no, no. I'm not here.
Act like I'm not here.
344
00:12:31,130 --> 00:12:32,881
-I'm just a fly
on the wall. Just, uh--
-Larry: Hey.
345
00:12:32,964 --> 00:12:34,381
-New sneaks?
-Oh, yeah.
346
00:12:34,464 --> 00:12:36,005
-Good, right?
How comfortable?
-Love 'em.
347
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,589
-Yeah.
-Cheryl: Hey, guys?
This is not the time, okay?
348
00:12:38,673 --> 00:12:40,214
It's my house,
you're in my house.
349
00:12:40,297 --> 00:12:42,005
-Jon: I'm terribly sorry.
-You crossed a line...
350
00:12:42,089 --> 00:12:43,589
-...this time.
-You crossed a line!
351
00:12:43,673 --> 00:12:45,130
-Oh, my God.
-Larry: I didn't cross a line.
352
00:12:45,214 --> 00:12:47,255
I went over the line
that you already crossed.
353
00:12:47,339 --> 00:12:48,589
-What?
-Larry: He's a friend.
354
00:12:48,673 --> 00:12:50,881
Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry.
Ted and Larry,
355
00:12:50,964 --> 00:12:53,464
it's just like
you and your sister.
It's the same thing.
356
00:12:53,547 --> 00:12:55,923
-It's nowhere close.
-It is not close.
357
00:12:56,005 --> 00:12:58,923
It is close! She slept
with my friend, Ted Danson.
358
00:12:59,005 --> 00:13:00,756
-Okay?
-Larry: Okay.
That's fine.
359
00:13:00,839 --> 00:13:03,255
-But I can't sleep
with her sister?
-It feels like the same thing.
360
00:13:03,339 --> 00:13:06,422
-Because Ted is like
a sister to Larry.
-Larry: Yeah!
361
00:13:06,506 --> 00:13:08,422
No. It's a relationship
with Ted.
362
00:13:08,506 --> 00:13:10,381
-It's not,
I didn't just go have s--
-Larry: Oh, it's a relationship?
363
00:13:10,464 --> 00:13:12,172
Who's to say that I'm not
gonna have a relationship
364
00:13:12,255 --> 00:13:13,673
-with Becky,
what do you mean?
-Cheryl: Oh, my God.
365
00:13:13,756 --> 00:13:16,130
Susie:
You know how jealous
Becky is of Cheryl.
366
00:13:16,214 --> 00:13:19,798
You know that Becky thinks
of herself as Princess Margaret,
367
00:13:19,881 --> 00:13:21,756
and that Cheryl
is Queen Elizabeth.
368
00:13:21,839 --> 00:13:23,923
-Yeah. Right.
-Yeah. Oh, and you think
you're Prince Philip?
369
00:13:24,005 --> 00:13:25,130
Is that what you're saying?
370
00:13:25,214 --> 00:13:26,631
-Yeah.
-Cheryl: Oh, my God.
371
00:13:26,714 --> 00:13:29,631
Prince Philip would put
a fucking gun to his head
372
00:13:29,714 --> 00:13:31,923
before he had you
representing him.
373
00:13:32,005 --> 00:13:33,964
Again, real quick,
are we talking about
The Crown now?
374
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,589
-Yeah.
-How good is that show?
375
00:13:35,673 --> 00:13:37,964
You know what, Jon Hamm,
it was nice meeting you.
376
00:13:38,047 --> 00:13:39,631
But, really,
this is between us.
377
00:13:39,714 --> 00:13:42,422
You know what,
I've heard enough.
Come on, Jonny. Let's go eat.
378
00:13:42,506 --> 00:13:44,089
-I'll call you.
-You've had enough...
379
00:13:44,172 --> 00:13:45,547
-...you petty piece of shit.
-Thank you so much,
by the way.
380
00:13:45,631 --> 00:13:47,589
Susie:
Yeah, it's great.
It's great.
381
00:13:47,673 --> 00:13:50,172
-Go, go be him, asshole.
-Thank you.
382
00:13:54,339 --> 00:13:56,464
-Aw, man.
-Larry: What are you doing?
383
00:13:56,547 --> 00:13:59,547
You just plopped
that into your,
into your water?
384
00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:02,172
Yeah, I plopped it in
because I like lime
with my water.
385
00:14:02,255 --> 00:14:04,673
I know but they,
they don't wash
these rinds.
386
00:14:04,756 --> 00:14:06,464
You gotta have
some trust in people.
387
00:14:06,547 --> 00:14:09,172
You ever see
signs in bathrooms,
"Wash before leaving"?
388
00:14:09,255 --> 00:14:10,881
It doesn't matter
if their hands are clean.
389
00:14:10,964 --> 00:14:12,506
-Richard: They don't have to--
-The rind's dirty.
390
00:14:12,589 --> 00:14:15,047
-You get a disease.
-Aah, please.
391
00:14:15,130 --> 00:14:16,673
It's bullshit.
392
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:19,005
And I'm really irked
about something, man.
393
00:14:19,089 --> 00:14:20,506
Did you say "irked"?
394
00:14:21,089 --> 00:14:23,506
-Yeah, irked.
-I never heard you use
that word before, but go ahead.
395
00:14:23,589 --> 00:14:26,673
I'm irked because--
with all due respect--
396
00:14:26,756 --> 00:14:28,297
Jon is here, and Michelle is--
397
00:14:28,381 --> 00:14:29,881
you wouldn't let Michelle
come to dinner.
398
00:14:29,964 --> 00:14:31,839
I have to watch
my Ps and Qs.
399
00:14:31,923 --> 00:14:33,631
I don't wanna watch
Ps and Qs.
400
00:14:33,714 --> 00:14:35,047
Do you wanna watch
Ps and Qs?
401
00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:36,923
What are you, Shari Lewis?
Where's Lamb Chop?
402
00:14:37,005 --> 00:14:38,631
-In your pants?
-(laughing)
403
00:14:38,714 --> 00:14:42,005
-Look, she's irked.
-She's irked.
404
00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:43,506
So you're both irked?
405
00:14:43,589 --> 00:14:47,172
She's so angry at me
that I had to, you know,
make an excuse.
406
00:14:47,255 --> 00:14:48,547
Oh. What did you say?
407
00:14:48,631 --> 00:14:50,339
I said you had
a bleeding rectum,
408
00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:52,089
and that you were
worried and scared,
409
00:14:52,172 --> 00:14:53,839
and you needed
to talk to me alone,
410
00:14:53,923 --> 00:14:56,172
and you'd be embarrassed
if she heard it.
411
00:14:56,255 --> 00:14:58,714
Are you out of
your fucking mind?
412
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,589
-Well...
-You couldn't think of
a better excuse than that?
413
00:15:00,673 --> 00:15:02,506
You should have called me.
I got thousands of 'em.
414
00:15:02,589 --> 00:15:04,923
-I can't even face her now.
-Why not?
415
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:07,047
Nobody respects a person
with a bleeding rectum.
416
00:15:07,130 --> 00:15:09,214
You think Lincoln
could have prosecuted a war
417
00:15:09,297 --> 00:15:11,005
if people knew he had
a bleeding rectum?
418
00:15:11,089 --> 00:15:12,881
And by the way, when you
come to the dinner party
419
00:15:12,964 --> 00:15:14,547
in a few days,
I would not mention it.
420
00:15:14,631 --> 00:15:16,339
Who mentions that
at a dinner party?
421
00:15:16,422 --> 00:15:18,881
Do I still have it
or-or am I over it?
422
00:15:18,964 --> 00:15:20,964
No, I left it open.
423
00:15:21,047 --> 00:15:22,964
Sorry to hear that.
424
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,964
Jon:
I also-- Can I say,
425
00:15:25,047 --> 00:15:26,589
we ordered this
kind of for the table,
426
00:15:26,673 --> 00:15:28,756
and I feel like you've
gone way over your
427
00:15:28,839 --> 00:15:30,297
appetizer allotment
at this point.
428
00:15:30,381 --> 00:15:32,547
-My allotment?
-Jon: Well,
there's three of us.
429
00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:35,422
-We each get a third.
-Who makes up
that fuckin' rule?
430
00:15:35,506 --> 00:15:37,130
Both:
It's an unwritten rule.
431
00:15:37,214 --> 00:15:38,631
Oh, my God.
432
00:15:38,714 --> 00:15:40,381
There's two Larry Davids.
433
00:15:40,464 --> 00:15:42,255
Holy shit.
434
00:15:42,339 --> 00:15:43,673
Pretty good.
435
00:15:43,756 --> 00:15:46,297
Pretty, pretty good.
436
00:15:49,214 --> 00:15:50,881
Both:
Aah.
437
00:15:52,631 --> 00:15:53,964
(knocking on door)
438
00:15:56,297 --> 00:15:58,881
-She threw me out.
-She threw you out?
439
00:15:58,964 --> 00:16:01,172
-Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep.
-Why?
440
00:16:01,255 --> 00:16:04,673
Well, she doesn't like
the way I defended you
being with Becky.
441
00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:07,547
-Come on in.
Make yourself at home.
-I will.
442
00:16:07,631 --> 00:16:08,798
I, I gotta go.
443
00:16:08,881 --> 00:16:10,297
-Where are you going?
-I'm going to Becky's.
444
00:16:10,381 --> 00:16:13,297
Oh. If you keep going
to Becky's,
445
00:16:13,381 --> 00:16:15,172
I can't go home.
446
00:16:15,255 --> 00:16:16,631
Keep going to Becky's.
447
00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:18,547
-I'll see you later.
-Bedroom's upstairs.
448
00:16:18,631 --> 00:16:20,297
-Second one.
-Got it.
449
00:16:20,381 --> 00:16:22,172
Okay.
450
00:16:22,255 --> 00:16:24,506
(clattering)
451
00:16:27,714 --> 00:16:31,172
♪ ♪
452
00:16:36,381 --> 00:16:39,297
(whistling)
453
00:16:39,381 --> 00:16:41,881
(clattering)
454
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:46,339
No.
455
00:16:48,923 --> 00:16:51,589
♪ ♪
456
00:16:54,923 --> 00:16:56,422
You're welcome.
457
00:17:04,673 --> 00:17:06,839
(both laughing)
458
00:17:06,923 --> 00:17:10,464
We did it.
We did it!
459
00:17:13,005 --> 00:17:14,839
You didn't expect
an airport drop-off,
did you?
460
00:17:14,923 --> 00:17:17,422
-Nope. Nobody expects
an airport drop-off anymore.
-Ah? Airport drop-off.
461
00:17:17,506 --> 00:17:19,923
-All right, well,
have fun skiing.
-I will.
462
00:17:20,005 --> 00:17:21,506
I'll text you when I land.
463
00:17:21,589 --> 00:17:23,005
-Eh, not necessary.
-I didn't really want to.
464
00:17:23,089 --> 00:17:24,589
-Yeah.
-It's like an extra,
unnecessary step.
465
00:17:24,673 --> 00:17:27,130
-I'll find out if you're dead.
-Yeah, yeah. You'll know.
466
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:28,673
-Yeah.
-You got big plans
for when I'm gone?
467
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:30,339
I'm gonna help
a friend out
468
00:17:30,422 --> 00:17:32,047
with his, uh,
with his new business.
469
00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:33,255
-Cool.
-Yeah.
470
00:17:33,339 --> 00:17:35,172
-Thank you.
-Bye.
471
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,089
Leon:
He told her you had
a bleeding rectum?
472
00:17:39,172 --> 00:17:41,214
Yeah. Now I gotta
walk around
473
00:17:41,297 --> 00:17:43,547
knowing this woman thinks
I have a bleeding rectum.
474
00:17:43,631 --> 00:17:44,673
I can't live like that.
475
00:17:44,756 --> 00:17:46,214
'Cause once that
starts to spread,
476
00:17:46,297 --> 00:17:47,381
she's gonna tell everybody.
477
00:17:47,464 --> 00:17:48,756
And the worst part is,
478
00:17:48,839 --> 00:17:50,714
no one's ever gonna know
that the bleeding stopped.
479
00:17:50,798 --> 00:17:53,255
People are thinkin',
how does he stop
the bleedin'?
480
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:54,547
Is he wearin' a pad?
481
00:17:54,631 --> 00:17:56,339
Is he, is he a little boy,
a little Dutch boy
482
00:17:56,422 --> 00:17:57,589
with his finger in his ass,
483
00:17:57,673 --> 00:17:59,631
with wooden shoes on,
with socks to his knee,
484
00:17:59,714 --> 00:18:01,881
little shorts on, little vest,
little top hat on,
485
00:18:01,964 --> 00:18:03,714
with his finger
in your damn rectum?
486
00:18:03,798 --> 00:18:05,381
Right. Right.
487
00:18:05,464 --> 00:18:07,381
Hey.
There's a parking lot.
488
00:18:07,464 --> 00:18:09,047
-Woo, let's go.
-Yeah, let's do it.
489
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:12,547
(laughing)
Get to work, baby.
"Gotta Go"!
490
00:18:13,673 --> 00:18:15,089
Can I help you guys?
491
00:18:15,172 --> 00:18:17,422
We got, uh, we got a little
business proposition for you.
492
00:18:17,506 --> 00:18:18,589
My name's Larry.
493
00:18:18,673 --> 00:18:20,005
-Hey, Larry.
-This is Leon.
494
00:18:20,089 --> 00:18:21,756
-I'm Bill.
-Here. Here you go, Bill.
495
00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:23,047
-"Gotta Go"?
-That's right.
496
00:18:23,130 --> 00:18:25,089
You ever sit in that booth
at this time of day
497
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:26,881
and gotta go to the bathroom,
what do you do?
498
00:18:26,964 --> 00:18:28,130
I just stay in the booth.
499
00:18:28,214 --> 00:18:29,964
I can't go anywhere,
just gotta hold it in.
500
00:18:30,047 --> 00:18:31,964
Until now.
For a dollar a minute,
501
00:18:32,047 --> 00:18:33,839
five dollar minimum,
I will sit in that booth
502
00:18:33,923 --> 00:18:35,422
while you go
and use the bathroom.
503
00:18:35,506 --> 00:18:37,130
-You're serious?
-Very serious.
504
00:18:37,214 --> 00:18:39,255
-Right now,
I really have to go.
-Larry: Go!
505
00:18:39,339 --> 00:18:40,422
Leon:
Go ahead, brother.
506
00:18:40,506 --> 00:18:42,047
-I'll be right back.
-My man.
507
00:18:42,130 --> 00:18:43,756
-Thank you.
-My man, I got you!
508
00:18:43,839 --> 00:18:45,339
My man, you gotta go!
509
00:18:45,422 --> 00:18:46,631
Ha-ha!
510
00:18:46,714 --> 00:18:48,422
-Look at this shit,
Larry. Woo!
-Huh? Told ya.
511
00:18:48,506 --> 00:18:51,464
-Did I tell ya? Huh? I told ya!
-You fuckin' told me, Larry.
512
00:18:53,714 --> 00:18:55,881
-You order a "Gotta Go"?
-Yes, I gotta go.
513
00:18:55,964 --> 00:18:57,464
-Okay. You go.
-Thank you.
514
00:18:57,547 --> 00:18:59,381
-Before I gotta go.
Get on out of here.
-Okay.
515
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,506
-Gino! Go handle
your business.
-Bye.
516
00:19:06,547 --> 00:19:08,255
-(spits)
-Hey. Excuse me.
517
00:19:08,339 --> 00:19:10,964
-You just spat on my shoe.
-It's a fuckin' spit shine.
518
00:19:11,047 --> 00:19:12,297
-It's a-- Stop!
-(spits)
519
00:19:12,381 --> 00:19:13,839
Stop!
Stop spitting on my shoe.
520
00:19:13,923 --> 00:19:15,214
I'm not, I'm not paying
for this.
521
00:19:15,297 --> 00:19:16,839
-Okay?
-Your tips are appreciated.
522
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,756
Give me a fuckin' break.
I'm not giving you a cent.
523
00:19:19,839 --> 00:19:22,923
Fuck it, then.
I don't give a fuck.
I don't work here.
524
00:19:23,005 --> 00:19:25,172
Woo!
525
00:19:25,255 --> 00:19:27,506
Ha-ha! Woo!
526
00:19:27,589 --> 00:19:29,714
♪ ♪
527
00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:33,964
Thank you.
528
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,214
-Thank you for having me.
-Thank you.
529
00:19:35,297 --> 00:19:36,839
-Yes, indeed.
-My pleasure to have you.
530
00:19:36,923 --> 00:19:38,339
-And by the way,
your home is lovely.
-You're welcome.
531
00:19:38,422 --> 00:19:40,005
I should be complimenting
you, too, because--
532
00:19:40,089 --> 00:19:41,589
Richard:
Well, I did pick out,
533
00:19:41,673 --> 00:19:43,130
I would say,
a majority of the stuff.
534
00:19:43,214 --> 00:19:45,130
Jon:
Well, I can tell.
Great taste.
535
00:19:45,214 --> 00:19:46,714
Michelle (muttering):
He's sitting down, Richard.
536
00:19:46,798 --> 00:19:47,881
Richard, he's sitting down.
I can't--
537
00:19:47,964 --> 00:19:49,547
He's gotta sit somewhere.
538
00:19:49,631 --> 00:19:51,172
-I can't--
I don't want--
-You know what?
539
00:19:51,255 --> 00:19:53,339
You can't sit on the arm.
It's too thin.
540
00:19:53,422 --> 00:19:55,881
-No, I like a thick, cushy arm.
-I agree with you.
541
00:19:55,964 --> 00:19:59,005
Excuse me, everyone,
but dinner is ready.
542
00:19:59,089 --> 00:20:01,172
-Please follow me
into the dining room.
-Okay.
543
00:20:01,255 --> 00:20:02,589
This way.
544
00:20:02,673 --> 00:20:05,756
We have assigned seating,
so everyone find your name.
545
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:08,631
-Jon: Here we are.
-Welcome. Here we are.
546
00:20:08,714 --> 00:20:10,172
Richard, darling, this way.
547
00:20:10,255 --> 00:20:11,923
-Richard: Thank you, babe.
-Michelle: Next to me.
548
00:20:12,005 --> 00:20:13,339
-Thank you.
-Michelle.
549
00:20:13,422 --> 00:20:16,005
Wh-what's with the, uh,
wooden chair here?
550
00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:17,756
Oh, you know,
I'm so sorry.
551
00:20:17,839 --> 00:20:19,881
I-I-- This set only
comes with seven chairs.
552
00:20:19,964 --> 00:20:21,673
-Seven chairs.
-Richard:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
553
00:20:21,756 --> 00:20:23,381
-How unusual.
-Richard:
I was with her.
554
00:20:23,464 --> 00:20:25,798
-I never heard of that before.
-Yeah. You know what?
It was odd.
555
00:20:25,881 --> 00:20:28,339
It was weird,
but I, I loved them,
so, I went with it.
556
00:20:28,422 --> 00:20:30,047
-Ah.
-Richard: Hey,
we're having a dinner.
557
00:20:30,130 --> 00:20:32,422
-Come on.
Let's enjoy ourselves.
-Okay, sure. You're right.
558
00:20:32,506 --> 00:20:34,422
-Let's all enjoy.
Let's enjoy.
-Yes!
559
00:20:34,506 --> 00:20:36,005
-Michelle: Let's enjoy.
-Let's enjoy.
560
00:20:36,089 --> 00:20:37,798
-That's the spirit.
That's the spirit.
-There we go.
561
00:20:37,881 --> 00:20:39,297
-Yes, let's enjoy.
-Bless the new table.
562
00:20:39,381 --> 00:20:41,714
-About time.
-Can I, uh, talk to you
in the kitchen...
563
00:20:41,798 --> 00:20:42,839
-...for a second?
-Who, me?
564
00:20:42,923 --> 00:20:44,005
-Yeah.
-What now?
565
00:20:44,089 --> 00:20:45,798
You got me sitting
in that wooden chair?
566
00:20:45,881 --> 00:20:48,089
-It's embarrassing.
-It's new furniture.
567
00:20:48,172 --> 00:20:50,547
She's afraid if you sit on it,
you're gonna ruin it.
568
00:20:50,631 --> 00:20:52,255
I don't have
a bleeding rectum. Okay?
569
00:20:52,339 --> 00:20:53,756
And even if I did,
570
00:20:53,839 --> 00:20:55,381
it's not gonna bleed
onto the chair.
571
00:20:55,464 --> 00:20:58,130
How stupid!
You could have said
a million different things.
572
00:20:58,214 --> 00:20:59,756
A rectum came
to my mind first.
573
00:20:59,839 --> 00:21:02,255
You could have at least
said I was better,
that I was over it.
574
00:21:02,339 --> 00:21:03,923
-I forgot.
-All right.
575
00:21:04,005 --> 00:21:05,089
The chair's in the house.
576
00:21:05,172 --> 00:21:07,506
You tell the CEO
that I want that chair.
577
00:21:07,589 --> 00:21:09,005
You can't get one.
578
00:21:09,089 --> 00:21:10,422
If I don't get
a normal chair,
579
00:21:10,506 --> 00:21:13,255
I'm gonna blow this
bullshit bleeding rectum story
580
00:21:13,339 --> 00:21:15,172
sky high. Okay?
581
00:21:15,255 --> 00:21:16,839
So get me a normal chair.
582
00:21:16,923 --> 00:21:18,464
I'd really appreciate it.
583
00:21:18,547 --> 00:21:20,255
All right,
you'll get the chair.
584
00:21:20,339 --> 00:21:21,756
-Okay?
-Michelle: That's great.
585
00:21:21,839 --> 00:21:23,839
Let's get
the salads, and...
586
00:21:23,923 --> 00:21:26,381
egg rolls out.
We'll wait about
15 minutes for dinner?
587
00:21:26,464 --> 00:21:28,047
Hey, Michelle.
Hi, honey.
588
00:21:28,130 --> 00:21:30,589
-Hi. What's going on?
-Listen, I spoke to Larry,
589
00:21:30,673 --> 00:21:32,714
and he's really embarrassed,
and, uh...
590
00:21:32,798 --> 00:21:34,255
you gotta get him the chair.
591
00:21:34,339 --> 00:21:36,464
-Oh, no. Absolutely not.
-You have to get him
a regular chair.
592
00:21:36,547 --> 00:21:38,172
No, he's not--
he's not sitting
in the chair.
593
00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:41,214
-No.
-He said he'd really
appreciate it.
594
00:21:41,714 --> 00:21:44,381
Really? He said that?
He said he would appreciate it?
595
00:21:44,464 --> 00:21:46,464
Yeah,
I wouldn't lie to you.
596
00:21:46,547 --> 00:21:48,130
Okay. Okay, fine.
Fine, fine.
597
00:21:48,214 --> 00:21:50,214
Let him, let him sit
in the chair, but...
598
00:21:50,297 --> 00:21:52,631
if he bleeds in my new chair,
599
00:21:52,714 --> 00:21:54,714
you're in big fuckin' trouble.
600
00:21:56,297 --> 00:21:57,631
(sighs)
601
00:21:57,714 --> 00:21:59,047
-All: Ooh.
-Mm.
602
00:21:59,130 --> 00:22:00,589
Cassie:
Okay. So, Jon.
603
00:22:00,673 --> 00:22:03,923
-you're playing
a Larry-type character...
-Yes.
604
00:22:04,005 --> 00:22:05,422
...in this movie.
So, uh,
605
00:22:05,506 --> 00:22:06,881
what does
the character even do?
606
00:22:06,964 --> 00:22:08,798
-He's a sitcom writer.
-Cassie: Of course.
607
00:22:08,881 --> 00:22:10,631
Uh, but the whole--
Very successful.
The whole thing is,
608
00:22:10,714 --> 00:22:13,464
it turns out that
the thing he's most known for,
609
00:22:13,547 --> 00:22:16,005
his big sitcom
that he created,
610
00:22:16,089 --> 00:22:18,464
he stole it from
an Australian sitcom.
611
00:22:18,547 --> 00:22:20,047
-Larry: What?
-The guy's a total fraud.
612
00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:21,214
He stole the idea.
613
00:22:21,297 --> 00:22:22,297
-He stole--
-What?
614
00:22:22,381 --> 00:22:23,673
What do you mean?
Stole it?
615
00:22:23,756 --> 00:22:24,756
I didn't steal anything.
616
00:22:24,839 --> 00:22:26,005
No, in the movie,
not you.
617
00:22:26,089 --> 00:22:27,714
-It sort of implies that...
-Larry: Yeah!
618
00:22:27,798 --> 00:22:29,255
-...their show is stolen.
-Larry: Yes!
619
00:22:29,339 --> 00:22:31,005
The character's name
is Lawrence Dean.
620
00:22:31,089 --> 00:22:32,673
-Lawrence Dean? What?
-It isn't the same
as Larry David.
621
00:22:32,756 --> 00:22:36,130
Hey, hey, hey.
Guess what I found?
I found a chair!
622
00:22:36,214 --> 00:22:37,506
All:
Oh!
623
00:22:37,589 --> 00:22:39,214
Yes! Hey!
624
00:22:39,297 --> 00:22:41,881
-What a miracle.
-Richard:
It was in the garage.
625
00:22:41,964 --> 00:22:43,172
Michelle: How come
you didn't tell me?
626
00:22:43,255 --> 00:22:44,589
Richard:
I didn't know it was a chair.
627
00:22:44,673 --> 00:22:45,839
-It was all wrapped up.
-Ooh.
628
00:22:45,923 --> 00:22:47,172
It was wrapped up
in plastic.
629
00:22:47,255 --> 00:22:49,339
I thought it was, uh,
my dead grandmother's ghost.
630
00:22:49,422 --> 00:22:52,005
-I didn't know
what the fuck it was.
-How could you not tell me?
631
00:22:52,089 --> 00:22:53,964
-What a lucky thing.
-Richard: Yeah.
632
00:22:54,047 --> 00:22:56,422
Because they didn't know,
and they just found it
633
00:22:56,506 --> 00:22:58,839
-in the garage.
-It all worked out.
Look at that!
634
00:22:58,923 --> 00:23:01,172
-They're very comfortable,
very pretty.
-Larry: Yeah.
635
00:23:01,255 --> 00:23:03,631
It's very bouncy.
It's, it's kind of bouncy.
636
00:23:03,714 --> 00:23:04,839
Larry:
Yeah. I love this chair.
637
00:23:04,923 --> 00:23:06,214
Jon:
Now we can eat.
638
00:23:06,297 --> 00:23:08,339
-Want more of these?
-Larry: Ah. Love Chinese.
639
00:23:08,422 --> 00:23:10,255
Thank you.
640
00:23:11,089 --> 00:23:14,923
You guys, do you pick up
the rice bowl and eat it
like this?
641
00:23:15,005 --> 00:23:17,631
Or do you start
on the table,
642
00:23:17,714 --> 00:23:19,839
and then pick it up,
pick the rice up?
643
00:23:19,923 --> 00:23:21,381
You pick up
the bowl first.
644
00:23:21,464 --> 00:23:22,839
Oh, you pick it right--
eat it right out
of the bowl.
645
00:23:22,923 --> 00:23:24,089
Yeah, eat right out
of the bowl.
646
00:23:24,172 --> 00:23:26,005
It's just like eating it
over the garbage can.
647
00:23:26,089 --> 00:23:27,881
-Alex: Huh?
-Larry: Yeah, yeah.
In a way.
648
00:23:27,964 --> 00:23:29,547
Oh, Michelle.
649
00:23:29,631 --> 00:23:32,506
-The walnut shrimp
is scrumptious.
-Mm.
650
00:23:32,589 --> 00:23:33,756
Scrumptious?
651
00:23:33,839 --> 00:23:35,881
-You think so?
-It's really good.
652
00:23:36,547 --> 00:23:38,923
-What are we waiting for?
-I mean, come on. Come on.
653
00:23:39,673 --> 00:23:41,422
-Larry: Hey, hey, hey, hey.
-What are you doing?
654
00:23:41,506 --> 00:23:43,673
-What are you doing?
I want the walnut shrimp?
-What are you doing?
655
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:46,923
Andy:
I'm turning the Lazy Susan
the way it should be turned.
656
00:23:47,005 --> 00:23:48,798
-In order.
-Larry: No, no,
no, no, no.
657
00:23:48,881 --> 00:23:51,547
A Lazy Susan is like
a roundabout, okay?
658
00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:53,798
I'm sorry,
I don't think
you're right.
659
00:23:53,881 --> 00:23:55,589
-Cassie: Okay, can I--
-I don't think you know
how a roundabout works.
660
00:23:55,673 --> 00:23:57,255
It's first come, first serve.
That's a roundabout.
661
00:23:57,339 --> 00:23:59,756
-I do know how
a roundabout works.
-I don't think you do.
662
00:23:59,839 --> 00:24:02,047
-It works like a Lazy Susan.
-Larry: No!
663
00:24:02,130 --> 00:24:03,839
-The cars--
-That's now how
a lazy Susan works.
664
00:24:03,923 --> 00:24:05,464
-Can I ask you a favor, please?
-It's how a lazy Susan--
665
00:24:05,547 --> 00:24:07,214
Can I ask you both a favor?
666
00:24:07,297 --> 00:24:10,130
Can you please not use
that term "Lazy Susan"?
667
00:24:10,214 --> 00:24:12,923
It's got racist and sexist
connotations,
668
00:24:13,005 --> 00:24:14,381
and I'd really prefer
669
00:24:14,464 --> 00:24:16,756
-you just not call it that.
-Whoa.
670
00:24:16,839 --> 00:24:18,130
-Larry: Lazy Susan?
-Yes.
671
00:24:18,214 --> 00:24:19,798
Who's that racist towards?
Susans?
672
00:24:19,881 --> 00:24:21,839
Larry: That's crazy.
Where'd you get that?
-Cassie: Okay.
673
00:24:21,923 --> 00:24:23,881
I would just like you
to not use the term.
674
00:24:23,964 --> 00:24:25,673
You're right.
You know what?
It should be--
675
00:24:25,756 --> 00:24:27,714
We should definitely
start using
the Ambitious Susan.
676
00:24:27,798 --> 00:24:30,089
Yes, yes. Please spin
the Indefatigable Susan.
677
00:24:30,172 --> 00:24:33,839
Oh, can we have
the Multifaceted Susan
my way, please?
678
00:24:34,047 --> 00:24:35,798
Yeah, spin
the Industrious Susan.
679
00:24:35,881 --> 00:24:37,964
Ooh, can you spin
Ambidextrous Susan,
please.
680
00:24:38,047 --> 00:24:39,464
-Oh, the Ambidextrous Susan.
-Yes, both ways.
681
00:24:39,547 --> 00:24:41,255
-Both: Both ways.
-So funny. You want it?
682
00:24:41,339 --> 00:24:44,339
-You want it?
You want your stuff?
-Whoa!
683
00:24:44,422 --> 00:24:46,297
♪ ♪
684
00:24:46,381 --> 00:24:48,172
-(gasps)
-Whoa!
685
00:24:54,255 --> 00:24:55,923
Richard:
Oh, man.
686
00:24:56,839 --> 00:24:59,297
-Andy: Oh, boy.
-What did you do?
687
00:24:59,381 --> 00:25:01,130
-Larry: What? I, I didn't--
-What did you do?
688
00:25:01,214 --> 00:25:03,964
-She spun the thing
around like that.
-The thing, it was too fast.
689
00:25:04,047 --> 00:25:07,297
-You wouldn't shut up!
-(all arguing)
690
00:25:07,381 --> 00:25:09,839
I don't give a shit!
I want you out!
691
00:25:09,923 --> 00:25:12,756
-You're kicking me out?
-Michelle: Yeah. And you,
692
00:25:12,839 --> 00:25:14,673
Larry David Junior,
you can go, too.
693
00:25:14,756 --> 00:25:16,506
-You're kicking me out.
-Yes, Jon Hamm.
694
00:25:16,589 --> 00:25:19,172
-Hey, you're getting kicked out.
Look at that, beautiful.
-What's up, huh? Hey.
695
00:25:19,255 --> 00:25:21,047
Out!
696
00:25:21,464 --> 00:25:23,756
-All right.
-All right.
697
00:25:23,839 --> 00:25:26,005
-Okay. (grunts)
-We should, uh...
698
00:25:26,089 --> 00:25:27,756
-Eh.
-Eh.
699
00:25:34,506 --> 00:25:36,172
(cell phone rings)
700
00:25:36,255 --> 00:25:37,589
Larry:
Hey.
701
00:25:37,673 --> 00:25:39,839
Becky: Larry.
Oh, thank God
you answered.
702
00:25:39,923 --> 00:25:42,089
I just got in a huge accident
on Mount--
703
00:25:42,172 --> 00:25:43,547
-(screams)
-Wha?
704
00:25:43,631 --> 00:25:45,631
Becky (over phone):
It was a ski school
of children.
705
00:25:45,714 --> 00:25:47,881
They just flew
right in front of me. Ow!
706
00:25:47,964 --> 00:25:50,589
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
707
00:25:50,673 --> 00:25:52,089
They're taking me
to a hospital,
708
00:25:52,172 --> 00:25:53,714
and I don't--
I just don't know
where it is or...
709
00:25:53,798 --> 00:25:55,964
-I don't know this town.
-Okay, don't worry
about a thing.
710
00:25:56,047 --> 00:25:57,464
I'll be on the next flight
to Denver.
711
00:25:57,547 --> 00:25:59,381
-You would do that for me?
-Of course.
712
00:25:59,464 --> 00:26:02,214
Oh, my God, Larry.
You really are a prince.
713
00:26:02,297 --> 00:26:04,381
Don't worry. I'm calling
my travel agent right now.
714
00:26:04,464 --> 00:26:07,130
Thank you so, so much.
Ow!
715
00:26:07,214 --> 00:26:08,923
-(phone rings)
-Westside Travel and Tour.
716
00:26:09,005 --> 00:26:11,714
-Eliza speaking.
-Oh, hi. It's Larry David.
I have an emergency.
717
00:26:11,798 --> 00:26:13,881
I need to get
on the next flight
to Denver, please.
718
00:26:13,964 --> 00:26:16,047
I've got one leaving
in an hour and 40 minutes.
719
00:26:16,130 --> 00:26:18,005
Perfect. Fantastic.
Book it.
720
00:26:18,089 --> 00:26:20,047
Eliza:
Oh, you're lucky.
There's only one seat left.
721
00:26:20,130 --> 00:26:22,339
19E.
722
00:26:23,964 --> 00:26:25,381
19E.
723
00:26:25,464 --> 00:26:28,506
It's a coach seat.
Oh, it's a middle seat.
724
00:26:30,339 --> 00:26:32,047
Shall I book it?
725
00:26:32,130 --> 00:26:34,130
Any other flights
going to Denver?
726
00:26:34,214 --> 00:26:36,172
We've got a two,
a four,
727
00:26:36,255 --> 00:26:37,589
and a six.
728
00:26:37,673 --> 00:26:41,756
Anything in rows...
one through four?
729
00:26:41,839 --> 00:26:44,297
The only thing left
is coach.
730
00:26:45,422 --> 00:26:46,547
Okay.
731
00:26:47,673 --> 00:26:49,756
Give me the next
first-class flight to Denver.
732
00:26:49,839 --> 00:26:52,255
It's not until 9:00 p.m.
733
00:26:52,339 --> 00:26:54,506
9:00 p.m. Perfect.
I'll take it. Book it.
734
00:26:54,589 --> 00:26:55,964
Eliza:
Very well.
735
00:26:59,339 --> 00:27:01,464
(cell phone rings)
736
00:27:04,547 --> 00:27:05,381
Hey.
737
00:27:05,464 --> 00:27:06,297
Hey, Larry.
738
00:27:06,381 --> 00:27:07,547
I got a "Gotta Go"
emergency.
739
00:27:07,631 --> 00:27:09,214
I'm at the shoe shine shop,
right?
740
00:27:09,297 --> 00:27:11,005
And the guy must have
food poisoning.
741
00:27:11,089 --> 00:27:12,756
He's stuck on the fuckin'
toilet right now.
742
00:27:12,839 --> 00:27:14,130
So? What do you want
me to do?
743
00:27:14,214 --> 00:27:15,714
I need you to cover for me
at the newsstand.
744
00:27:15,798 --> 00:27:17,547
The guy relies on me
for his six o'clock piss.
745
00:27:17,631 --> 00:27:20,381
-I'll call you back.
-Leon (over phone):
Okay. Okay.
746
00:27:20,464 --> 00:27:22,381
-Larry: (claps) Hey.
-Yeah.
747
00:27:22,464 --> 00:27:24,798
I need you to do me a favor.
Actually, do Leon a favor.
748
00:27:24,881 --> 00:27:27,047
He needs somebody
to fill in for him
at the newsstand.
749
00:27:27,130 --> 00:27:28,798
-For the "Gotta Go" app?
-Yeah.
750
00:27:28,881 --> 00:27:29,881
I can't do it.
751
00:27:29,964 --> 00:27:31,506
No, no. You gotta do it.
I can't do it,
752
00:27:31,589 --> 00:27:32,798
because I have
to fly to Denver.
753
00:27:32,881 --> 00:27:35,297
-I already got
my sweats on.
-So what?
754
00:27:35,381 --> 00:27:36,798
Yeah, well, once I got
my sweats on,
755
00:27:36,881 --> 00:27:39,130
there's no going back.
I got my sweats on.
756
00:27:39,214 --> 00:27:41,047
What is it, an immutable
law of physics?
757
00:27:41,130 --> 00:27:42,464
Once you're in sweats,
you can't get out?
758
00:27:42,547 --> 00:27:43,506
Newton's Law of Sweats?
759
00:27:43,589 --> 00:27:46,756
It's Jeff Greene's Law
of Day Over.
760
00:27:46,839 --> 00:27:48,673
Listen, I'd really
appreciate it.
761
00:27:48,756 --> 00:27:51,297
-I'm in my sweats!
-(phone rings)
762
00:27:51,381 --> 00:27:53,381
-Hello?
-Larry, what the fuck
you doin', man?
763
00:27:53,464 --> 00:27:55,047
-Goddamn!
-Larry (over phone):
All right, okay!
764
00:27:55,130 --> 00:27:57,172
Shut the fuck up!
I'll come!
765
00:27:57,255 --> 00:27:59,047
Thank you.
Thank you, by the way.
766
00:27:59,130 --> 00:28:01,923
-(sneezes) Wow.
-Larry: God bless you.
767
00:28:07,005 --> 00:28:08,047
Hey.
768
00:28:08,130 --> 00:28:09,923
-Hey. I'm from "Gotta Go."
-Larry?
769
00:28:10,005 --> 00:28:12,005
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Oh.
770
00:28:12,089 --> 00:28:14,839
-I really gotta go.
-Okay. Okay. Hurry up.
771
00:28:14,923 --> 00:28:16,172
-Okay. I'll be quick.
-Okay.
772
00:28:16,255 --> 00:28:17,798
-Okay. Thank you.
-Yeah. Hurry up.
773
00:28:17,881 --> 00:28:19,214
Okay.
774
00:28:19,297 --> 00:28:21,714
(distant siren wailing)
775
00:28:22,130 --> 00:28:23,464
Fuck.
776
00:28:26,047 --> 00:28:27,172
Oh, my God.
777
00:28:27,255 --> 00:28:28,881
-(phone rings)
-Hello?
778
00:28:28,964 --> 00:28:30,673
Larry (over phone):
The newsstand guy
left 15 minutes ago.
779
00:28:30,756 --> 00:28:31,631
Hasn't come back.
780
00:28:31,714 --> 00:28:33,506
I gotta catch a plane to Denver.
781
00:28:33,589 --> 00:28:35,047
Hey, no browsing.
782
00:28:35,130 --> 00:28:36,714
Hey, do you carry
Vegan Living ?
783
00:28:36,798 --> 00:28:38,673
Who gives a shit?
Get the hell out of here.
784
00:28:38,756 --> 00:28:40,047
You gotta come
and relieve me.
785
00:28:40,130 --> 00:28:41,923
I can't, Larry.
I'm at the shoe shine stand.
786
00:28:42,005 --> 00:28:43,631
This guy's taking
a $40 shit.
787
00:28:43,714 --> 00:28:45,798
Larry (over phone):
Aw! All right,
I'll get somebody else.
788
00:28:48,756 --> 00:28:50,714
Thanks very much.
Hey.
789
00:28:50,798 --> 00:28:51,798
Larry:
Hey!
790
00:28:51,881 --> 00:28:53,631
-I got your back.
-Oh, my God.
791
00:28:53,714 --> 00:28:55,547
-You are a lifesaver.
-No worries, no worries.
792
00:28:55,631 --> 00:28:58,047
-Thank you so much.
-Not at all.
793
00:28:58,130 --> 00:28:59,381
Jonny.
794
00:28:59,464 --> 00:29:01,089
Really appreciate this.
795
00:29:01,172 --> 00:29:02,839
Hey, no prob--
796
00:29:02,923 --> 00:29:04,714
-Ah? (laughing)
-Larry: Ah?
797
00:29:04,798 --> 00:29:06,506
I get it.
(laughs)
798
00:29:11,464 --> 00:29:12,964
Larry:
Oh, my God.
799
00:29:15,506 --> 00:29:16,881
Excuse me, I'm so sorry.
800
00:29:16,964 --> 00:29:18,506
I got seven minutes
to catch the plane.
801
00:29:18,589 --> 00:29:20,297
It sounds like a lie,
but it's not.
802
00:29:20,381 --> 00:29:21,631
I'm not a cutter by nature.
803
00:29:21,714 --> 00:29:23,923
Um, my, my girlfriend
got in a skiing accident.
804
00:29:24,005 --> 00:29:25,673
You know,
she's my ex-wife's sister.
805
00:29:25,756 --> 00:29:27,589
We don't have to get
into that, but,
806
00:29:27,673 --> 00:29:29,172
nevertheless,
thank you so much.
807
00:29:29,255 --> 00:29:31,297
-I really appreciate it.
-Next.
808
00:29:31,381 --> 00:29:32,673
Are you together?
809
00:29:34,714 --> 00:29:35,964
No.
810
00:29:36,506 --> 00:29:37,881
Man:
No.
811
00:29:38,964 --> 00:29:40,506
Why would you think
we were together?
812
00:29:40,589 --> 00:29:41,798
No reason.
813
00:29:41,881 --> 00:29:43,881
-No, no reason at all?
-No reason?
814
00:29:43,964 --> 00:29:45,464
I just assumed
you were a couple--
815
00:29:45,547 --> 00:29:46,923
-Woman: You assumed?
-Man: You assumed--
816
00:29:47,005 --> 00:29:48,881
-Oh, really?
-You assumed
we're a couple. We--
817
00:29:48,964 --> 00:29:50,589
I mean, I've never--
I mean, nice to meet you.
818
00:29:50,673 --> 00:29:53,089
-Nice to meet you, too.
-Yeah, see, look,
we just met.
819
00:29:53,172 --> 00:29:54,547
Honest mistake.
820
00:29:54,631 --> 00:29:56,631
But why did you
make the mistake?
821
00:29:56,714 --> 00:30:00,422
-That's what I'm wondering.
-Any two people standing
together could be a couple.
822
00:30:00,506 --> 00:30:02,005
Two men, two women.
823
00:30:02,089 --> 00:30:04,297
If I saw a man
wearing a yarmulke,
824
00:30:04,381 --> 00:30:06,506
standing next to a woman
wearing a kerchief
825
00:30:06,589 --> 00:30:08,339
and carrying a mahjong set,
826
00:30:08,422 --> 00:30:09,714
I would think
they were a couple.
827
00:30:09,798 --> 00:30:12,047
-What?
-It's just
a natural assumption.
828
00:30:12,130 --> 00:30:13,964
Anyway, I'd love to continue
our discussion.
829
00:30:14,047 --> 00:30:16,089
It's been very interesting.
I have to catch a flight
to Denver.
830
00:30:16,172 --> 00:30:18,964
-Eh, there's a lot of
black people in Denver.
-Yeah. Tell 'em we said hi.
831
00:30:19,047 --> 00:30:20,422
Hello, sir. Boarding pass?
832
00:30:20,506 --> 00:30:22,130
(beeps)
833
00:30:22,214 --> 00:30:24,589
You've been randomly selected
for a security search, sir.
834
00:30:24,673 --> 00:30:27,297
What? What? Secure--
What are you talking about?
835
00:30:27,381 --> 00:30:29,464
-Can someone get my spot?
Thank you.
-Larry: Oh, please.
836
00:30:29,547 --> 00:30:32,005
Are you kidding me?
Oh, they couldn't be
a couple.
837
00:30:32,089 --> 00:30:33,089
Oh, it's crazy.
838
00:30:33,172 --> 00:30:34,339
It has nothing to do
with that, sir.
839
00:30:34,422 --> 00:30:36,589
Oh, it has nothing to do
with that?
840
00:30:36,673 --> 00:30:38,631
-No.
-Come on, I'm gonna miss
my flight to Denver.
841
00:30:38,714 --> 00:30:40,798
-Enjoy that search. Yeah.
-Enjoy it.
842
00:30:40,881 --> 00:30:42,047
Honestly,
if you're looking--
843
00:30:42,130 --> 00:30:43,506
I wouldn't look in
the food and wine section.
844
00:30:43,589 --> 00:30:45,673
I would look...
Los Angeles magazine.
845
00:30:45,756 --> 00:30:46,673
Right down there.
846
00:30:46,756 --> 00:30:48,130
You don't find what you need,
847
00:30:48,214 --> 00:30:49,964
-look online.
Everything's online.
-Thanks.
848
00:30:50,047 --> 00:30:51,756
Excuse me, ma'am.
No browsing.
849
00:30:51,839 --> 00:30:54,005
No, I'm just looking
for an article that
Jay Inslee--
850
00:30:54,089 --> 00:30:55,214
Both:
Oh.
851
00:30:55,297 --> 00:30:57,005
-Oh, hi.
-Cheryl.
852
00:30:57,089 --> 00:30:58,339
-Jon.
-That's me.
853
00:30:58,422 --> 00:30:59,464
-Hamm. Hi.
-Yes.
854
00:30:59,547 --> 00:31:00,631
What are you doing here?
855
00:31:00,714 --> 00:31:02,255
I'm just watching
the newsstand for Larry.
856
00:31:02,339 --> 00:31:04,464
He had to--
He had to jump out
and run to the airport.
857
00:31:04,547 --> 00:31:07,714
I'm sorry.
Does Larry own
a newsstand now?
858
00:31:07,798 --> 00:31:09,339
Great question.
859
00:31:09,422 --> 00:31:11,255
-I don't have an answer.
-Okay.
860
00:31:11,339 --> 00:31:14,214
-So you are Larry's
ex-wife. Wow.
-Yeah. I know.
861
00:31:14,297 --> 00:31:16,964
-I find that fascinating.
-Do you?
862
00:31:17,047 --> 00:31:19,547
Oh, my gosh.
Spending the last few days
with him?
863
00:31:19,631 --> 00:31:22,381
-I gotta know everything.
-It's a lot.
864
00:31:22,464 --> 00:31:24,714
Well, do you wanna
just go get some coffee?
865
00:31:24,798 --> 00:31:26,881
Sit down and talk?
866
00:31:26,964 --> 00:31:29,172
-Now?
-Well, yeah. Why not?
867
00:31:29,255 --> 00:31:31,130
-Okay. Uh...
-Let's go.
868
00:31:32,047 --> 00:31:33,881
I mean, do you really
wanna hear...
869
00:31:33,964 --> 00:31:36,047
Are you kidding me?
I wanna hear everything.
870
00:31:36,130 --> 00:31:38,381
Cheryl:
You might be bored.
Ah, 17 years...
871
00:31:38,464 --> 00:31:39,964
Jon:
Wow.
872
00:31:48,464 --> 00:31:50,172
Do you recognize
that signature?
873
00:31:50,255 --> 00:31:51,673
Leon:
He killed the motherfucker
'cause the waffles
874
00:31:51,756 --> 00:31:52,923
had expired and shit.
875
00:31:53,005 --> 00:31:55,631
Gonna sit in that room
and get interrogated--
876
00:31:55,714 --> 00:31:57,756
Hey. Okay? You happy?
You happy?
877
00:31:57,839 --> 00:31:59,547
-I hope you're happy.
-What the fuck, man?
878
00:31:59,631 --> 00:32:01,464
-I missed my flight to Denver.
-Jeff: Sorry.
879
00:32:01,547 --> 00:32:03,506
Larry:
Oh, because you wouldn't
get out of your sweat pants.
880
00:32:03,589 --> 00:32:05,339
Suppose there was an emergency?
Then what?
881
00:32:05,422 --> 00:32:06,506
You take the sweat pants off?
882
00:32:06,589 --> 00:32:07,881
Well, what kind of
an emergency?
883
00:32:07,964 --> 00:32:10,381
Suppose, uh, your friend
was in a car accident.
884
00:32:10,464 --> 00:32:13,255
-Which friend?
-Me. I got hit by a car.
885
00:32:13,339 --> 00:32:14,756
How did you get hit by a car?
886
00:32:14,839 --> 00:32:16,339
I, I got a piece of pizza, and,
887
00:32:16,422 --> 00:32:17,839
and I was crossing the street,
888
00:32:17,923 --> 00:32:19,255
and the, the cheese fell off,
889
00:32:19,339 --> 00:32:20,756
and I bent down
to pick up the cheese,
890
00:32:20,839 --> 00:32:22,130
and I got hit by a car.
891
00:32:22,214 --> 00:32:24,381
Who the hell picks up cheese
in the middle of the street?
892
00:32:24,464 --> 00:32:26,047
I don't want to litter
so I picked up the cheese
893
00:32:26,130 --> 00:32:27,589
and I put it
in the garbage can.
894
00:32:27,673 --> 00:32:29,923
No. You were gonna
pick up the cheese,
895
00:32:30,005 --> 00:32:31,506
and put it on your pizza
and eat it.
896
00:32:31,589 --> 00:32:33,631
Bullshit. I was not.
I was gonna throw it
in the garbage.
897
00:32:33,714 --> 00:32:34,923
-You don't know.
-I know.
898
00:32:35,005 --> 00:32:36,214
-What do you know?
No, you don't!
-I know.
899
00:32:36,297 --> 00:32:37,923
And you, fuckstick,
don't ever ask me
900
00:32:38,005 --> 00:32:40,089
to man any post for you again,
'cause I'm not doin' it!
901
00:32:40,172 --> 00:32:42,297
Just consider me
in sweatpants all the time.
902
00:32:42,381 --> 00:32:44,714
Fuck that job.
I quit that shit already.
903
00:32:44,798 --> 00:32:47,798
-Wow. That was fast.
-Fuck, yeah. I'm in and out.
904
00:32:47,881 --> 00:32:49,714
All right, I gotta go
text Becky now
905
00:32:49,798 --> 00:32:51,506
and tell her I missed my flight
'cause of you two assholes,
906
00:32:51,589 --> 00:32:52,964
and tell her I'll be on
the first flight out to Denver
907
00:32:53,047 --> 00:32:54,506
tomorrow morning.
Actually, second flight.
908
00:32:54,589 --> 00:32:56,005
Why second flight?
909
00:32:56,089 --> 00:32:57,631
First class.
910
00:32:57,714 --> 00:32:59,214
Yeah.
911
00:32:59,839 --> 00:33:02,798
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
912
00:33:02,881 --> 00:33:05,130
Oh, my God. What?
913
00:33:05,214 --> 00:33:07,047
Oh, my-- Larry!
914
00:33:07,130 --> 00:33:08,547
Larry!
915
00:33:09,964 --> 00:33:11,631
Larry!
916
00:33:11,714 --> 00:33:13,339
Cheryl:
Oh, look.
917
00:33:13,422 --> 00:33:14,464
Latte Larry's.
918
00:33:14,547 --> 00:33:15,964
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Spite store.
919
00:33:16,047 --> 00:33:17,089
-I heard about this.
-Yeah.
920
00:33:17,172 --> 00:33:18,756
-This must be, uh...
-Mocha Joe's.
921
00:33:18,839 --> 00:33:19,798
There we go.
922
00:33:19,881 --> 00:33:20,964
Okay, don't tell Larry
we did this.
923
00:33:21,047 --> 00:33:22,923
You got it.
924
00:33:23,005 --> 00:33:26,047
I've never been
in this shop. I just--
925
00:33:26,130 --> 00:33:28,673
It's kind of a wobbly table,
you know?
926
00:33:28,756 --> 00:33:30,506
It's like
my least favorite thing.
927
00:33:30,589 --> 00:33:31,839
-It's all right.
-Mocha Joe:
Here we go.
928
00:33:31,923 --> 00:33:33,714
-Two cups of coffee.
-Hey. Thank you very much.
929
00:33:33,798 --> 00:33:36,005
Thank you so much
for coming in, Mr. Hamm.
How's that scone?
930
00:33:36,089 --> 00:33:37,714
Uh, not so much a scone.
931
00:33:38,172 --> 00:33:40,714
-No, it's a scone.
-Nah, this is like a muffin.
932
00:33:40,798 --> 00:33:43,172
I mean, I'm just saying,
like, there's kind of a specific
933
00:33:43,255 --> 00:33:45,297
quality that a scone has
that's sort of dry and crumbly.
934
00:33:45,381 --> 00:33:47,798
This is sweet.
It's a little more like
a muffin than a scone.
935
00:33:47,881 --> 00:33:49,756
What you are describing
is a stale scone.
936
00:33:49,839 --> 00:33:52,673
-That's a, that's fresh one.
-I'm not sure you know
what a...
937
00:33:52,756 --> 00:33:54,005
definition of a scone is.
938
00:33:54,089 --> 00:33:56,047
It looks good.
I think, um...
939
00:33:56,130 --> 00:33:57,839
-I'm just saying,
I'm saying it's a muffin.
-Let's not worry about it.
940
00:33:57,923 --> 00:33:59,089
You want me to take it away?
941
00:33:59,172 --> 00:34:00,381
No, I'm gonna keep the muffin.
942
00:34:00,464 --> 00:34:01,839
-Thank you very much.
-You enjoy the scone.
943
00:34:01,923 --> 00:34:03,506
-Yeah, I'll enjoy the muffin.
-Cheryl: I'm good.
944
00:34:03,589 --> 00:34:05,631
-Thank you, that's great.
Thank you.
-Okay. Awesome.
945
00:34:05,714 --> 00:34:07,089
It doesn't matter.
946
00:34:07,172 --> 00:34:08,964
-Yeah. I'm just having
a good time.
-Hmm? Doesn't it?
947
00:34:10,089 --> 00:34:11,631
Um...
948
00:34:11,714 --> 00:34:13,798
Oh! So when
I first met Mocha Joe--
949
00:34:13,881 --> 00:34:16,047
Ugh. Oh, hold on.
950
00:34:16,130 --> 00:34:17,839
-No. No. No.
-What's wrong?
951
00:34:17,923 --> 00:34:18,881
Mocha Joe!
952
00:34:18,964 --> 00:34:21,130
-Mocha Joe!
-Mocha Joe: Yeah.
953
00:34:22,756 --> 00:34:25,214
This coffee's...
it's not hot.
954
00:34:25,297 --> 00:34:27,714
-It's plenty hot.
-No, it's, it's plenty not.
955
00:34:27,798 --> 00:34:30,589
-It's, it's, it is,
it is at best luke.
-It's hot.
956
00:34:30,673 --> 00:34:32,464
-Oh, God.
-Jon: I don't know
what to tell you.
957
00:34:32,547 --> 00:34:34,047
This is not, this is
not a hot cup of coffee.
958
00:34:34,130 --> 00:34:35,673
-It's a hot cup of coffee.
-Coffee should be served hot.
959
00:34:35,756 --> 00:34:36,714
-This is not hot.
-It's hot.
960
00:34:36,798 --> 00:34:38,214
I beg to differ.
This is not hot.
961
00:34:38,297 --> 00:34:39,839
And I tell you what.
Here's how I'll prove it
to you.
962
00:34:39,923 --> 00:34:41,047
-No, no, no, I don't know--
-Would I be able to do this?
963
00:34:41,130 --> 00:34:42,714
Would I be able to do this
964
00:34:42,798 --> 00:34:44,506
if this was a hot cup
of coffee?
965
00:34:45,130 --> 00:34:47,005
-Oh. Oh.
-Okay.
966
00:34:47,798 --> 00:34:49,881
-Doesn't even hurt.
Doesn't even hurt.
-I can't do this.
967
00:34:49,964 --> 00:34:51,172
-This coffee's not hot.
-Jon Hamm...
968
00:34:51,255 --> 00:34:52,964
-...you have
turned into Larry.
-What--
969
00:34:53,047 --> 00:34:55,047
-I'm done. I can't do this.
-Cheryl--
970
00:34:55,130 --> 00:34:56,047
Cheryl:
God.
971
00:34:56,130 --> 00:34:57,673
-Cheryl!
-No.
972
00:34:57,756 --> 00:34:59,506
-Come on.
-Nope.
973
00:35:00,464 --> 00:35:02,881
See, now look.
The table. Look at this.
All over the place.
974
00:35:02,964 --> 00:35:04,422
-All right,
you know what, Jon Hamm?
-All over the place.
975
00:35:04,506 --> 00:35:05,964
-Unbelievable.
-Get out.
976
00:35:06,339 --> 00:35:07,673
Happy to.
977
00:35:09,714 --> 00:35:11,547
And you're banned, Jon Hamm!
978
00:35:11,631 --> 00:35:13,631
Jon:
I don't care!
979
00:35:19,673 --> 00:35:20,923
Hey!
980
00:35:21,005 --> 00:35:23,089
I'm here!
981
00:35:23,172 --> 00:35:25,881
Look. Look! Flowers, balloons.
982
00:35:25,964 --> 00:35:28,631
Larry David.
What could be better?
983
00:35:28,714 --> 00:35:31,339
-Take a smell of that.
Yeah? Pretty good.
-Yep. Smells like flowers.
984
00:35:31,422 --> 00:35:33,381
-Right? Where do
you want 'em? Here?
-Yeah.
985
00:35:33,464 --> 00:35:36,005
Ugh.
I came as soon as I could.
986
00:35:36,089 --> 00:35:37,297
Did you?
987
00:35:37,381 --> 00:35:38,464
Yes, I did.
988
00:35:38,547 --> 00:35:41,214
'Cause it's, uh, been
a little over 24 hours
989
00:35:41,297 --> 00:35:42,964
since I called you
and you were gonna
990
00:35:43,047 --> 00:35:45,756
hop on the next flight.
So I just, I've been
a little confused.
991
00:35:45,839 --> 00:35:48,172
Big issue with the TSA
last night.
992
00:35:48,255 --> 00:35:50,964
-Ugh. I'm not even gonna
bore you with it.
-Why would book a night flight?
993
00:35:51,047 --> 00:35:53,130
I called you at 10:00 o'clock
yesterday morning.
994
00:35:53,214 --> 00:35:55,964
Um, you know, the--
I couldn't get a seat.
There were no seats.
995
00:35:56,047 --> 00:35:58,839
There were no seats
on any of the planes?
996
00:35:58,923 --> 00:36:01,255
There were...
997
00:36:01,339 --> 00:36:02,964
no seats...
998
00:36:03,047 --> 00:36:04,214
for me?
999
00:36:04,297 --> 00:36:08,047
Are you talking about
first class seats?
1000
00:36:08,130 --> 00:36:11,047
Uh...
1001
00:36:13,047 --> 00:36:14,631
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Becky: Yeah?
1002
00:36:14,714 --> 00:36:16,005
I broke my leg!
1003
00:36:16,089 --> 00:36:17,464
-I called you scared.
-Yeah.
1004
00:36:17,547 --> 00:36:18,631
-And hurt.
-Yeah. I know.
1005
00:36:18,714 --> 00:36:21,172
I'm not worth two hours
in a coach seat?
1006
00:36:21,255 --> 00:36:23,506
-You know. All right,
I'm gonna be...
-What?
1007
00:36:23,589 --> 00:36:25,756
-I'll just be straight
with you, okay?
-Yeah. That'd be great.
1008
00:36:25,839 --> 00:36:28,047
-I've been honest
with you up until now.
-Yes.
1009
00:36:28,130 --> 00:36:30,589
-So I'm gonna be honest
with you again.
-Go for it.
1010
00:36:32,130 --> 00:36:34,422
I have a bleeding rectum.
1011
00:36:35,714 --> 00:36:37,255
They're okay
with you bleeding
1012
00:36:37,339 --> 00:36:39,089
out of your rectum
in first class?
1013
00:36:39,172 --> 00:36:42,339
It's a more comfortable
place to bleed.
1014
00:36:42,422 --> 00:36:44,798
I think it's probably best
that you go.
1015
00:36:44,881 --> 00:36:46,756
-What?
-Yeah. Leave the flowers,
1016
00:36:46,839 --> 00:36:49,089
but take the ugly balloon,
and just go.
1017
00:36:50,047 --> 00:36:51,255
Okay.
1018
00:36:53,381 --> 00:36:56,422
-Hey. You gonna eat that Jell-O?
-I'm not gonna eat the Jell-O.
1019
00:36:57,339 --> 00:36:58,589
Hmm.
1020
00:36:59,798 --> 00:37:02,255
(theme music playing)
1021
00:37:18,756 --> 00:37:20,839
♪ ♪
1022
00:37:50,464 --> 00:37:52,547
♪ ♪
1023
00:38:13,756 --> 00:38:16,047
Ah! Mr. Takahashi!
How you hitting 'em, Mr. T?
1024
00:38:16,297 --> 00:38:18,172
-Not your concern.
-Ah.
1025
00:38:18,547 --> 00:38:20,631
♪ ("EL DESEO"
BY JANET SHERBOURNE PLAYS) ♪
1026
00:38:20,714 --> 00:38:23,172
LARRY DAVID: The color of a car
doesn't really matter to me,
1027
00:38:23,255 --> 00:38:26,047
because I don't really see it
when I'm inside the car.
1028
00:38:26,130 --> 00:38:27,464
It's like being inside
your face.
1029
00:38:27,547 --> 00:38:28,506
I don't know what my face
looks like.
1030
00:38:28,714 --> 00:38:30,631
-Who forgets their face?
-I'm in a capsule.
1031
00:38:30,714 --> 00:38:32,547
Everything's coming
from inside the capsule.
1032
00:38:32,839 --> 00:38:34,964
I haven't seen you take
one piece of red licorice yet.
1033
00:38:35,047 --> 00:38:35,881
Only black for you?
1034
00:38:36,381 --> 00:38:38,798
Something wrong with a person
supporting black and shit?
1035
00:38:38,881 --> 00:38:41,172
Black licorice,
black jellybeans...
1036
00:38:41,255 --> 00:38:43,297
-You feel me?
-No, I feel you.
1037
00:38:43,381 --> 00:38:45,547
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
78959
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