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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:04,338 Cheers is filmed before A live studio audience. 2 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,939 It's amazing what they're Making for kids nowadays. 3 00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,375 What? 4 00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:08,476 Here's an ad for a toy Where you make a monster, 5 00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:10,944 Then drop him In a vat of acid, 6 00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:13,181 And boil his skin Off his bones. 7 00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:15,683 Boy, oh, boy, norm, 8 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:18,119 When we were kids, We had real toys to play with, Remember? 9 00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:19,587 Oh, you're Damn straight. 10 00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:22,156 I tell you, I was up in my attic The other day. 11 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,358 Found my old Lionel train set. 12 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,927 Oh, now, There is a toy. Yeah. 13 00:00:26,927 --> 00:00:29,997 Remember the hours you spent Sticking those tracks together? 14 00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:31,399 Making the little Houses just so 15 00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:33,534 And making sure Those tunnels Were all straight. 16 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:36,904 Yeah. Smelling the electricity Burn off that transformer. 17 00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,839 Hey, did you have one Of those electric cattle cars 18 00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:41,075 Where the cows come Vibrating down the chute? 19 00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:43,144 I could move 40 head In 10 minutes, pal. 20 00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:44,412 Go on. Get out of here. 21 00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:47,481 You get out of here. I could, too. 22 00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:49,483 Got to get rid of That thing, though. 23 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:50,951 It's taking up Lots of space. 24 00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:52,186 I'll probably Sell it. 25 00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,455 Get a good price For it, I'll bet you. 26 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:56,190 Yeah. It's a collector's item. 27 00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:58,559 Shoot a little stick? 28 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,994 Yeah. Yeah. 29 00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:02,696 Ahem. 30 00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:05,399 I'm the engineer! 31 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,067 Like hell, you are. It's my train. 32 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:10,138 It's my train! Hey! 33 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,744 * making you way In the world today * 34 00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:19,713 * takes everything you've got * 35 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:22,550 * taking a break From all your worries * 36 00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:25,819 *sure would help a lot * 37 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:29,357 * wouldn't you like To get away? * 38 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,561 * sometimes You want to go * 39 00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:39,267 * where everybody Knows your name * 40 00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:43,637 * and they're always Glad you came * 41 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:46,274 * you want to be Where you can see * 42 00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:48,942 * our troubles Are all the same * 43 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,378 * you want to be * 44 00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:54,248 * where everybody Knows your name * 45 00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,884 * you want to go Where people know * 46 00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:59,353 * people are all the same * 47 00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:03,791 * you want to go where everybody Knows your name * 48 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,609 Sam, give me a double. 49 00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:24,111 Carla: a little early For that, huh, doc? 50 00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:25,313 Maybe you're right. 51 00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:27,481 Cancel that double. Make it a single. 52 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:30,684 Oh, skip it altogether. 53 00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,753 On second thought, Make it a single-- 54 00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:34,788 Little extra in it. 55 00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:38,025 Frasier, What's your order? 56 00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:39,460 Cup of coffee. 57 00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:43,364 You got troubles? 58 00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:46,234 I've just been invited To deliver a paper 59 00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,901 At the state psychiatric Convention this week, 60 00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:50,471 And I've got a first-class Case of the jitters. 61 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:55,576 Carla: I have a surefire way Of keeping yourself calm. 62 00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,711 Picture Your audience naked. 63 00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,548 Oh, thank you, carla, For that old chestnut From speech 101. 64 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:04,285 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I got a twist on it. 65 00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:07,087 Picture them naked And wearing black socks. 66 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,322 Oh, carla, That's ridiculous. 67 00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:11,925 I can't see that That would... 68 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,962 See? I told you. It works. 69 00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:16,964 Ok. Now try this angle. 70 00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,733 Ha ha ha! 71 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,735 Now shut up. 72 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,136 Sorry. 73 00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:24,405 I do see Your point, though. 74 00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:25,573 That could do Just the trick. 75 00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:27,341 Thank you, carla. Sure. 76 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,109 Oh, here comes A likely candidate. 77 00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:30,611 Try it out on her. 78 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:34,282 Hello, dr. Crane. Miss howe. 79 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,657 Doesn't work With everyone. 80 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:48,796 Miss howe, I have a message for you. 81 00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:51,299 "Mr. Sheridan is having Lunch up in melville's, 82 00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:54,101 And he's gonna be Coming down to talk to you When he's through." 83 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,603 Oh, great. Sheridan. 84 00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:57,237 Another one of the legions Of presidents, vice presidents, 85 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,307 And consultants This corporation 86 00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:00,774 Belches forth Every five minutes. 87 00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,776 Boy, seems like you Have to be a real loser 88 00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:06,580 Not to be at least A vice president In that company, doesn't it? 89 00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:10,284 I'm sorry. 90 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:14,488 He is undoubtedly here To ask me some humiliating, 91 00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,123 Menial favor that he Couldn't palm off 92 00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:18,292 On some other flunkey. 93 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:20,193 Today, I draw the line. 94 00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:22,095 Today, this gal Is going to shoot down 95 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,664 Her first Corporate bigwig. 96 00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:24,832 Oh, please. 97 00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:27,067 The first time you Try to stand up To this guy, 98 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:29,670 You're going to Crumble like a bag Of potato chips. 99 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,772 Oh, yeah, Mr. Smart guy? Yeah. 100 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,841 Watch me. I'm watching you. 101 00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:35,976 Oh, miss howe. 102 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,210 Mr. Sheridan. 103 00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:38,712 I'd like To ask you a favor. 104 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,113 I see. 105 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,683 I'm going to new york On a business trip For a few days, 106 00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:45,953 And I'd like you To take care of my dog While I'm away. 107 00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:49,590 Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Sheridan, 108 00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:51,224 But I have plans For the entire week, 109 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,360 And I could not Possibly break them. 110 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:53,727 I hope You understand. 111 00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:56,196 That's fine. I realize This is short notice. 112 00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:58,366 Thanks anyway. 113 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,638 Uh...My plans Could be changed! 114 00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:08,108 Please, sir, let me Do this for you. 115 00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:11,912 Well, if it you don't Think it would be any trouble, 116 00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:13,146 Thank you, miss howe. 117 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,281 Rebecca: Oh, no, sir. 118 00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:15,383 Thank you For the opportunity 119 00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:17,551 Of knowing your dog. 120 00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:23,323 God, I make myself sick. 121 00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,507 Ha ha ha! 122 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:44,445 Ha ha ha! 123 00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:46,113 What'll it be, Dr. Crane? 124 00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:49,082 The usual. 125 00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,485 What's so funny? 126 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,421 Ha ha ha! 127 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:55,122 Ha ha ha! 128 00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:56,457 Ha ha! 129 00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:59,660 Ha ha ha! 130 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:00,994 What's so funny? 131 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:03,831 Ha ha! It's a private joke, sam. 132 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,504 Sam: hey there, Rebecca. 133 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,906 How do you Like living with Sheridan's pooch? 134 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:16,276 Sir broundwin the gallant From fairhaven manor, 135 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:18,479 Better known As buster, is fine. 136 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,814 I, on the other hand, Am a nervous wreck. 137 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,282 What's the matter, Rebecca? 138 00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:24,885 I knew I was going To have to take care Of the dog, 139 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,319 But I didn't Know it was going to be 140 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,622 In a place that was huge And kind of like a mausoleum, 141 00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,558 And it's stuck way out In the middle of the moors. 142 00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:33,461 There are no moors In massachusetts. 143 00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:35,829 I think they had them Flown in or something. 144 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:39,467 The point is, this place Is big and scary, 145 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,168 And I really hate it, 146 00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:43,003 Oh, and to make matters Even worse, last night, 147 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,638 The only thing I could get on television 148 00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:47,407 Was this movie about this Young, beautiful, 149 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,709 Dark-haired woman 150 00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:51,545 That was all alone In this deserted house. 151 00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:54,515 What about where that Guy cuts her head off? 152 00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,383 Woody, please. 153 00:06:56,383 --> 00:07:00,153 There's no way her head Is going to come off In one clean cut like that. 154 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,024 Believe me, I've seen My uncle butcher hogs, 155 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:06,827 And you have to hack And hack and hack... 156 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,198 And when The gardener got it-- 157 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:12,900 Woody, that's enough. 158 00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:17,004 Oh, right. Don't spoil the ending For everybody else, 159 00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:19,439 But when you see it, Take my advice 160 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,308 And turn away when you hear Rmmm-rmmm-rmmm. 161 00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:23,043 Woody! Rmmm-rmmm-rmmm. 162 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:27,180 Woody, I am just A tiny bit on edge. 163 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,949 Oh. Sorry, miss howe. 164 00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:33,053 [blender whirs] 165 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:35,022 Damn it, woody! 166 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:43,531 Some bar manager-- Afraid of a blender. 167 00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:46,366 Let me see here. 168 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:49,603 Rebecca howe, All alone and scared 169 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,872 In a big old house. 170 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:56,810 Sounds to me like A job for sammy's Security company. 171 00:07:56,810 --> 00:08:00,848 We get in Before the burglars do. 172 00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:03,316 That's what I like about you, sam. 173 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,719 Your pants Are always thinking. 174 00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:09,590 Frasier, darling. 175 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:11,725 Hello there, Peanut butter cup. 176 00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:12,860 You're late for lunch. 177 00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,094 Yes. I know. I'm sorry. 178 00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,563 I'm sure you have A very good excuse. 179 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:16,897 Well, actually I do. 180 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,699 I started having lunch In another restaurant, 181 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,068 Then remembered We had a date. 182 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:22,836 Well, would you like To watch me eat? 183 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,238 I wouldn't miss it. 184 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,743 Ha ha ha! 185 00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:32,379 What's so funny? 186 00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,947 It's nothing, really, 187 00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:35,716 Just this Relaxation exercise I've been doing. 188 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,686 I've been imagining People naked and wearing Black socks, you see, 189 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,821 To relieve my anxiety Over my speech. 190 00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:41,989 Frankly, it's Worked miracles. 191 00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,156 I've been Doing it all week. 192 00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:44,391 Haven't even Thought about it once. 193 00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,927 When do you Present that? 194 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,896 My god. 195 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,847 [rustling] 196 00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:09,783 Buster, Did you hear that? 197 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:15,088 Calm down. 198 00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,057 It probably Wasn't anything. 199 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:21,094 It was probably just a tree Branch against the window... 200 00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,030 Or leatherface. 201 00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:26,734 Oh, god. Oh, god. 202 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,168 [knock knock] 203 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:31,038 Oh, god, buster, He's at the front door. 204 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,640 [whimpers] 205 00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,743 Good dog. 206 00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:59,299 Thank you. You're welcome. 207 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,669 Aah! 208 00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:04,504 How in the hell Did you get in here? 209 00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:05,806 You left The back door open. 210 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:08,709 I just followed some guy Carrying a meat hook. 211 00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,144 That is real funny, sam. 212 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:12,813 You almost gave me A heart attack. 213 00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:15,115 I'm sorry. It's all right. I'm here now. 214 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,017 It wasn't funny. I'm sorry. 215 00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:20,954 I have to admit, I'm glad you are here. 216 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,123 When the lights went out And the storm came, 217 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,225 I started getting Scared to death. 218 00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:28,962 What happened To that $10,000 Champion watchdog? 219 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,598 He's hiding In the kitchen. 220 00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:33,000 Oh, god, I can't Seem to calm down! 221 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,635 My heart is just Beating so fast! 222 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,605 Oh, yes, it is. 223 00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:43,143 Sam, get your hand Away from that. 224 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,212 I was doing pretty good Till the lights went out. 225 00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:47,147 Then this house really Started giving me the creeps. 226 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,682 Oh. Well, hey, Don't worry. 227 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:50,083 I got some candles here. 228 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,953 You brought Your own candles? Well, yeah. 229 00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:56,456 This kind of thing Happens in big old Spooky houses a lot. 230 00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:57,925 I like To be prepared. 231 00:10:57,925 --> 00:11:01,061 Sammy carries Whatever he needs. 232 00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,597 Sam, did you Come out here 233 00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,734 Because you were Concerned I was scared, 234 00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:08,902 Or did you come out here To get me in the sack? 235 00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:11,171 Hey, I came Out here because I was concerned 236 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:15,142 And scared That I'd never Get you in the sack. 237 00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:17,911 Kidding. I'm kidding. My goodness. 238 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,747 Sam, I really am Glad you're here. 239 00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:20,981 It makes me feel A lot better, 240 00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:23,250 But a man and A woman can Be together 241 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:24,584 In an evening Without ending up 242 00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:26,653 Rolling On the floor. 243 00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:27,988 I know that's true Of some people, 244 00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:31,158 But, sweetheart, We're good-looking. 245 00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:33,160 Sam... What? 246 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:36,296 Sit down here a minute. I want to tell you something. 247 00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:38,098 Ok. 248 00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:40,500 Now, believe this Or not, 249 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,770 Even good-looking people 250 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,504 Can spend An evening together 251 00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:46,039 Without having sex. 252 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,911 Have you ever Heard of conversation? 253 00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:53,313 Yeah, I've heard Of conversation. 254 00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,682 Contrary to what A lot of people think, 255 00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:57,417 I'm not that dumb. 256 00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:58,786 Here. Come on. Try me. 257 00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:00,453 Sit down. Let's conversate. 258 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,227 Ok. So what do you Want to talk about? 259 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,929 Sex. 260 00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:13,600 Sex is obviously The only thing on your mind. 261 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,535 So forget it. I'm going to bed. 262 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:18,405 Oh, that's good With me. 263 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,572 I am going to bed alone. 264 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,275 If you want to stay here, You sleep on the couch. 265 00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:24,945 Come on. I can sleep on A couch at my place. 266 00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:26,679 Fine. Go sleep On your couch. 267 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,282 All right, if that's What you want. 268 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:33,220 I'll leave you all alone In this big old Scary house. 269 00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:34,321 Whoo! 270 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,524 I'm moving the table. 271 00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:38,926 Don't pull a muscle. 272 00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,829 I'm serious. I'm moving the chair. 273 00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:43,964 You're breaking My heart. 274 00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,800 I got my hand On the doorknob. 275 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,668 I'm opening the door. 276 00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:49,937 Sam, don't! 277 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:52,472 I knew it. Pajama time. 278 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:53,807 Not you. The dog! 279 00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:56,076 What? Buster! Buster! 280 00:12:56,076 --> 00:13:00,513 Whew! Boy, can That sucker haul. 281 00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:01,748 He's gone. 282 00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:03,150 Well, hey, don't Worry about it. 283 00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:04,918 He's a hardy breed. 284 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,686 Speaking of breeding, Let's-- 285 00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,221 Are you crazy? 286 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:10,323 That is a champion dog, And I'm responsible For him. 287 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,692 If it takes all night, I'm gonna find that mutt. 288 00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:15,829 No. Don't--jeez. Buster! 289 00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:20,167 Oh, hell. 290 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:23,503 Oh, might as well turn The electricity back on. 291 00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:37,851 So, please, if you find him, You've got this number. 292 00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:39,586 Ok. Thank you. Bye-bye. 293 00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,121 [doorbell rings] 294 00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:44,057 Please, please, please Let it be somebody That found him.. 295 00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,926 Did anybody Find the dog? 296 00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,460 Listen, little lady. 297 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,528 We're not looking 298 00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,230 For aunt fanny's Amethyst pendant here. 299 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,865 This is a highly Organized search party. 300 00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:54,234 We're going to conduct This debriefing By the numbers. 301 00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:57,704 All right. Alpha sector, report. 302 00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:58,738 Negative. 303 00:13:58,738 --> 00:13:59,907 Bravo sector. Negative. 304 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:02,910 Charlie sector. Shut up, cliff. 305 00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:05,278 [telephone rings] 306 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,714 Hello. Yes, mr. Sheridan? 307 00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:10,517 Wow, you know, norm, I can't get over this place. 308 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,852 I think I'll do Something like this With my living room. 309 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,121 What are you Talking about? 310 00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:15,688 You live in 28 Square feet, 311 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,858 And your bed folds Out of a couch. 312 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,727 You're going to what? 313 00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:22,762 All right, sir. Bye-bye. 314 00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:26,499 Oh, god, he came home early. He's on his way home From the airport. 315 00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:27,901 Al right, men. 316 00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,069 I suggest We fall back 317 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,103 To our Original positions. 318 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,304 What are you Talking about? 319 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:34,074 To the bar! Back to the bar! 320 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:36,309 Yes, sir! Right away, sir! 321 00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:45,118 Well, I guess I deserve this. 322 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:50,723 I'm always Doing stupid favors For everybody. 323 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:54,061 Guess it finally Caught up with me. 324 00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:57,197 No, no. Don't Do that, please. 325 00:14:57,197 --> 00:15:00,600 I hate it When you cry. 326 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,669 All right. All right. Look. Wait, wait, wait. 327 00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:04,137 Come on. Listen. 328 00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,973 I'll tell sheridan It was all my fault, All right? 329 00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:08,708 Fine. Wait up, guys! 330 00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,243 That's great. Really nice. 331 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:13,180 Oh, god! What is it? 332 00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:15,715 A car. It's sheridan. We're doomed. 333 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:18,551 [doorbell rings] 334 00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:19,919 Uh... 335 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,055 Woody! You found him! 336 00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:24,324 Oh, god! I don't know Who to kiss first. 337 00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,994 I just had A breath mint. 338 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:33,166 Hey, man. Way to go. 339 00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:34,901 Where did you Find him? 340 00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,769 At an auto Wrecking yard. 341 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,471 What were you Doing there? 342 00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,340 Just browsing. 343 00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:44,877 Oh, buster, buster. Good old buster. 344 00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:46,980 Oh, no. That's not buster. That's satan. 345 00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:48,448 What? Who? 346 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,550 I was brushing the snow Off of the hubcaps, 347 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,719 And I saw satan here Chewing through a tire, 348 00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:56,456 And I thought, "He looks just Like that picture of buster." 349 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,557 So I borrowed him 350 00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:58,992 In case we don't find The other dog. 351 00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,994 Woody, take him To the kitchen. 352 00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:02,895 I only hope we can Fool sheridan 353 00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:04,364 With this fleabag. 354 00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:06,233 He's no fleabag, Miss howe. 355 00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:07,900 He's a trained Attack dog. 356 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:11,238 Come on, Sweetheart. 357 00:16:11,238 --> 00:16:14,674 An attack dog? He brings an attack dog Into this house? 358 00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,576 Come on. His heart's In the right place. 359 00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:17,977 Hello. 360 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,313 Oh, god! You found him? 361 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,115 Oh, that's wonderful! 362 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,584 Yeah. Give me Your address. 363 00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:25,985 Uh-huh. 364 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,321 Ok, I'll come And get him right now. 365 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,223 A neighbor at the end Of the road found him. 366 00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:31,658 Here's the address. You go get him. 367 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,592 I'm on my way. 368 00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:35,295 Woody, bring satan Out here, please. 369 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,297 Woody, We found buster. 370 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,166 You can take satan Back to the junkyard. 371 00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:41,534 Miss howe, He hadn't finished His snack yet. 372 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:44,037 I gave him something Out of the refrigerator. 373 00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:45,738 Actually, he opened The door and took it, 374 00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,640 But I got Out of the way. 375 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,377 Woody, whatever. Just take him out of here. 376 00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:53,080 Go, go. Hurry. Hurry, hurry, hurry. 377 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,614 Sheridan is here. He just drove up. 378 00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:55,848 Woody, cancel that. 379 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:59,119 Sam, you go around back way And get buster, all right? 380 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,888 Woody, you take satan Into the kitchen And get him some kibble. 381 00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:04,724 We hope that sam gets Back in time with buster So we don't have to use him, 382 00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,759 But if he doesn't, Get back in time with buster, 383 00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:09,429 Then we have to convince Sheridan that satan Is buster until sam gets back 384 00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,030 And we can switch Buster for satan, 385 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,166 Or I can just put Steak sauce on my throat 386 00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:16,436 And let satan chow down. 387 00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:19,139 I understand everything Perfectly, miss howe. 388 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,873 Come on, sam. Let's get your kibble. 389 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,510 Ha ha! Ha ha ha! 390 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,378 I was just kidding, Miss howe. 391 00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:31,017 [door opens] 392 00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:33,052 Oh... 393 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,921 I'm back. 394 00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:37,090 Where's my big boy? 395 00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,791 Where's my buster? 396 00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:40,460 What, no hello? No description Of the trip? 397 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,528 No slides? 398 00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:44,731 I finished early, so I Caught a late flight. 399 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:45,565 [whistles] 400 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,867 Here, boy! Where are you, boy? 401 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:50,437 Here, buster! He is, um... 402 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,472 He's sleeping In the kitchen. That's right. 403 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:55,475 Miss howe, Who's this man? 404 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:57,444 This man? He's woody. 405 00:17:57,444 --> 00:18:00,113 He's my boyfriend. 406 00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:02,515 Wow, miss howe. 407 00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:07,654 Your boyfriend Calls you miss howe? 408 00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:11,324 I was his teacher. 409 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,494 I got real lonely, And I thought 410 00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:15,495 I'd call him over here For company. 411 00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:16,796 I hope you don't mind. 412 00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:19,932 No, of course not. Listen. I'm very tired. 413 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,869 I just want to say Hi to my dog And then go to bed. 414 00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,337 So, if you Don't mind... 415 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:26,906 You want us To leave? 416 00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:29,776 He wants us To leave, woody. 417 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,578 Great! How about A burger and a movie? 418 00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:34,581 Then we can go Someplace and park. 419 00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,316 Later! 420 00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:38,385 First, I'd Like stand here 421 00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:39,919 And have a little chat With mr. Sheridan 422 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:40,953 About his trip. 423 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,555 Not now. I want to see buster. 424 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,090 No! Mr. Sheridan! Yes, miss howe. 425 00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:45,525 Come on, buster! Let's wrestle. 426 00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,260 Woody, we can't Let him do this. 427 00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:48,995 Don't worry, miss howe. 428 00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:51,231 He won't attack unless He hears the command word-- Cochise... 429 00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:52,432 Cochise? 430 00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:54,100 Well, he's never Going to say that. 431 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,068 Or unless He provokes him. 432 00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:58,371 [grr] 433 00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,473 Take that, Big boy. 434 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:04,244 I got your tail. I got your tail! 435 00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:06,746 Hey, it worked. He thinks that's his dog. 436 00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:10,217 You're right. If he lives, We fooled him. 437 00:19:10,217 --> 00:19:11,884 Sammy To the rescue. 438 00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:14,221 Sam, get that Mutt out of here! What? 439 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:16,055 Sheridan's In the kitchen With satan. 440 00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:19,091 This is no time For folk singing. 441 00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:21,528 Oh! Oh! Oh! What are we going to do? 442 00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:23,396 All right. Go out the front. 443 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:24,731 Sneak around the back. 444 00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:26,499 I'll try to divert Sheridan's attention 445 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:27,667 While you make The switch, 446 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,402 But remember, They look exactly alike. 447 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:32,004 All right. Come on, boy. Come on. 448 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,441 Boy, Buster is frisky. 449 00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:36,676 I was playing "Get my thumb", 450 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:40,079 And he was practically Bouncing off the ceiling. 451 00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,914 Well, I bet he was Just so glad 452 00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,316 To have You back. 453 00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:44,551 Yeah. Well, I'm going to Feed him now, miss howe. 454 00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,185 No. I already Fed him. 455 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,720 We ordered out. Chinese. 456 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:48,888 [woof woof] 457 00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,757 [grr] [woof] 458 00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:52,725 That sounds like Two dogs in there. 459 00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:54,461 Mr. Sheridan, There's something 460 00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:56,296 I've been wanting To ask you. 461 00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:59,432 Is this A bowling trophy? 462 00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:02,735 No, it's my... Late wife's ashes. 463 00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:05,372 Well, she was A good-sized woman. 464 00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:08,275 Excuse me. I want to see to buster. 465 00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:12,645 Mission Accomplished. 466 00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,914 I made the switch. Satan is in the car. 467 00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:15,882 Oh, good. 468 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,285 Well, there was Only buster in there. 469 00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:21,087 Good! Well, I'll Be going. Bye-bye. 470 00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:23,923 Good night. Miss howe! 471 00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:25,224 Who's that man? 472 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,893 I'm her boyfriend. 473 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,961 That's right! He's my boyfriend. 474 00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:31,764 Miss howe, We have to talk. 475 00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:39,439 Look at him. 476 00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,240 You're not so tough When you're not running loose, Are you? 477 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,611 Ha ha ha! Bbll-bll-bll-bll. 478 00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:48,948 I wouldn't do that, If I were you, cliff. 479 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,182 If you look Very closely, 480 00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:52,084 You'll see He has several tiny Little mail bags 481 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,321 Notched On his leash. 482 00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:57,624 Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm real scared, norm. 483 00:20:57,624 --> 00:21:01,961 Heh. Look at me shake. Bbll-bll-bll-bll. 484 00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:06,232 Woody, I thought you Were going to return 485 00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:07,700 The hound from hell. 486 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,669 Oh, the guy is Coming for him tomorrow, 487 00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:11,404 Unless, of course, You'd like to reconsider 488 00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:12,872 And keep him As our mascot. 489 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:14,607 That's exactly what This bar needs-- 490 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:15,908 A loaded weapon That goes off 491 00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:19,011 When you say the word C-o-c-h-I-s-e. 492 00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:23,616 Great! I spelled it right. 493 00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:26,252 Frasier: greetings, all. Sam: hey, doc. 494 00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:29,656 Well, there's A sturdy fellow. 495 00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:31,858 Hello, boy. How are you? 496 00:21:31,858 --> 00:21:33,560 What's this? 497 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:36,429 "Don't say cochise To this dog." 498 00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:42,201 Woody, He didn't attack. 499 00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:43,703 No. He didn't. 500 00:21:43,703 --> 00:21:46,038 Maybe he didn't hear The attack word. 501 00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,940 Frasier... 502 00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:50,009 Cochise! 503 00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:57,016 Cochise. Cochise, cochise! 504 00:21:57,016 --> 00:21:58,385 Rebecca: This is buster! 505 00:21:58,385 --> 00:21:59,819 I thought you were Going to make the switch. 506 00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:02,021 I did, but they were Tearing at each other, 507 00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:03,155 And it got confusing. 508 00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:04,357 I was trying To separate them 509 00:22:04,357 --> 00:22:06,593 And protect my goodies At the same time. 510 00:22:08,528 --> 00:22:11,364 Hey, if this Isn't satan, Then satan is-- 511 00:22:11,364 --> 00:22:13,733 Chewing the spleen Out of mr. Sheridan. 512 00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:16,436 All right. Sam, hand me the phone. 513 00:22:16,436 --> 00:22:18,070 Woody, come around here And untie buster. 514 00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:20,540 I've got to call mr. Sheridan And warn him. 515 00:22:20,540 --> 00:22:22,609 We've got to make Another switch. 516 00:22:22,609 --> 00:22:25,712 Hello. This is rebecca howe. 517 00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:28,481 Yes. I need to speak To mr. Sheridan, please. 518 00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:30,216 I don't care If he's asleep! 519 00:22:30,216 --> 00:22:32,419 Wake him up. This is an emergency. 520 00:22:32,419 --> 00:22:33,620 Well, all right. Would you-- 521 00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:35,522 Please just go upstairs And tell the man 522 00:22:35,522 --> 00:22:38,090 Not to say the word "Cochise" Around his dog. 523 00:22:38,090 --> 00:22:40,493 Wait... I just remembered. 524 00:22:40,493 --> 00:22:42,294 The attack word Isn't cochise. 525 00:22:42,294 --> 00:22:43,663 It's that other Indian name. 526 00:22:43,663 --> 00:22:45,297 Oh, woody, what Other indian name? 527 00:22:45,297 --> 00:22:47,700 There are a million Other indian names, My friend. 528 00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:49,168 There's crazy horse, Sitting bull, 529 00:22:49,168 --> 00:22:50,336 Pocahontas, Geronimo-- 530 00:22:50,336 --> 00:22:52,672 [woof woof] 531 00:22:52,672 --> 00:22:54,474 Woody: that's it! 532 00:22:54,474 --> 00:22:56,976 Cliff: Go on! Go on! 533 00:22:56,976 --> 00:22:58,445 [woof woof woof] 534 00:22:58,445 --> 00:23:01,848 Hey, he's got Mr. Clavin trapped In the men's room. 535 00:23:01,848 --> 00:23:05,184 That's ok. We can use the one Up at melville's. 536 00:23:05,184 --> 00:23:06,586 Oh, hey, it's ok. 537 00:23:06,586 --> 00:23:08,888 I got the number Of that guy 538 00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,690 From the auto Wrecking yard. 539 00:23:10,690 --> 00:23:12,391 I can call him and get The counter-command. 540 00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:13,392 I'll do it. 541 00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,728 Oh, hello, Mr. Sheridan. 542 00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:18,465 Sorry, I have The wrong number. 543 00:23:18,465 --> 00:23:20,933 Hello. Hey, I'm calling For woody. 544 00:23:20,933 --> 00:23:22,702 We need the counter-command For satan. 545 00:23:22,702 --> 00:23:25,104 Scram, you beast From hell! 546 00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:26,706 Ok, thanks. 547 00:23:26,706 --> 00:23:28,174 Did you get it? Yeah. 548 00:23:28,174 --> 00:23:29,341 Well, what is it? 549 00:23:29,341 --> 00:23:31,511 Oh, Go on! 550 00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:34,080 Good night, everyone! 551 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:35,247 [woof woof] 552 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:38,485 Good night, Everyone! Satan! 553 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,489 Good night, Everyone! 554 00:23:42,489 --> 00:23:44,223 Doesn't work! 555 00:23:44,223 --> 00:23:46,125 [woof woof woof] 39422

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