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1
00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:04,172
"Cheers"Is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,172 --> 00:00:06,874
Good gravy.
Look here.
1
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:05,206
Sam: cheers is filmed
Before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,475
Woods,
Refill, please.
3
00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:10,511
Yeah, sure.
Whatever you want.
4
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:14,248
Hey, hey.
Why so down in the mouth
There, bud?
5
00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:15,683
Well, I'm understudying
Another play,
6
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,285
And I know I'm never
Going to get to go on
7
00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:19,987
Because the star
Never gets sick.
8
00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:22,022
Darn it, the part
Is perfect for me.
9
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,724
Yeah?
What is that part?
10
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:24,625
Moses.
11
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,130
My theater group is
Doing an original play--
12
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,598
An evening
With the prophets.
13
00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:31,965
Mm-hmm.
14
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:35,303
I've got more lines
Than any of
The other israelites.
15
00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:38,239
But I managed to jam them
All in, right up here.
16
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:41,875
Yeah, your head looks
Packed, all right.
17
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,844
Go on, test me.
Give me a cue.
18
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:46,180
All right.
19
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:49,117
What's
The first line?
20
00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:50,884
"And I have said
I will bring you up
21
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,286
"Out of the affliction
Of egypt
22
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:53,821
"Into the land
Of the canaanites,
23
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:56,924
"And the hittites,
And the amorites,
And the perizzites,
24
00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:59,493
And the hivites."
25
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:00,561
Wait, wait,
Wait, wait.
26
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,563
What happened
To the cellulites?
27
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:09,337
They, uh, settled
In the land of vera.
28
00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:10,804
Did you hear
What he said?
29
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:17,578
* makin' your way
In the world today *
30
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:20,581
* takes everything you've got *
31
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:23,417
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
32
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,654
* sure would help a lot *
33
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:32,560
* wouldn't you like
To get away? *
34
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,595
* sometimes
You wanna go *
35
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:38,166
* where everybody
Knows your name *
36
00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:43,337
* and they're always
Glad you came *
37
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,308
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
38
00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:49,710
* our troubles
Are all the same *
39
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:55,149
* you wanna be where
Everybody knows your name *
40
00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:57,618
* you wanna go
Where people know *
41
00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,288
* people are all the same *
42
00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:04,458
* you wanna go where
Everybody knows your name *
43
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:25,879
Here we go.
Thank you.
44
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,315
Boy, what a day.
Yeah?
45
00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:29,650
Yeah. I can't wait
For it to end.
46
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,018
All I can think about
Is getting home
47
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:32,553
And jumping into bed.
48
00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:34,355
Need anybody
To break your fall?
49
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,792
Hi. Sam malone.
50
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,761
Hi.
Suzanne porter.
51
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,863
Sam, you done
Picking up
On this lady?
52
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,535
Not quite, woody.
53
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:48,702
I'm sorry
To interrupt you,
54
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,904
But denise called.
55
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:53,774
Oh, denise.
56
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,209
Who's denise?
57
00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:56,610
Um...
58
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:59,112
My brother's
Kid, de niece.
59
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,080
I have to say hi
To her
60
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,482
And de nephew.
61
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:04,952
Hey, hey.
Ha ha ha.
62
00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:08,489
Very smooth,
Sam.
63
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:10,123
So who's
This denise, sam?
64
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:13,427
She was somebody.
We had quite a thing
Going there a while ago.
65
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:16,129
Then we both realized
That sex wasn't anything
66
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,131
To base
A relationship on.
67
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:21,068
6 months later,
We broke up.
68
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:22,270
She must be
Quite a dish
69
00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:23,271
If you're
Willing
To pass up on
70
00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:24,772
Door number one
Over there.
71
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:27,140
It's kind
Of like avocados.
72
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,509
One of them's
Ripe and ready
73
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:31,011
To be squashed
Into guacamole.
74
00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:33,781
The other one needs
To stay on the shelf
A little while longer.
75
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:39,387
Anyway, call her back.
She says it's urgent.
76
00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:42,456
The accent
On urge, huh?
77
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,558
Actually, you know,
I think this is a call
78
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,226
I should return
In person.
79
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,695
Aw, sam.
80
00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:50,264
Hey.
81
00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:51,765
Where
Are you going?
82
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:54,335
To my niece's house.
Her grandma's sick.
83
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,736
If it's your
Niece's grandma,
84
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,471
Wouldn't that
Be your mother?
85
00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:58,972
My mom's sick?
Oh, my god!
86
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:04,945
Excuse me.
87
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,179
Why don't you
Stick around
For a little while?
88
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:07,981
My mom bounces
Right back.
89
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:20,628
Hey, sam. Hey, back from
The denise decathlon, huh?
90
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:27,335
Heh heh.
Got another gold medal
In the broad jump?
91
00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:30,304
You know, you got
A big mouth, clavin.
92
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:33,407
He happens
To be right, you know.
93
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:35,776
It's a genetic quirk
In the clavin family
94
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,911
That we all have
Two extra teeth.
95
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:40,113
You see, that's the only way
That we can prove
96
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:45,152
That we are the rightful heirs
To the russian throne.
97
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,320
Hello in there,
Cliff.
98
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:51,892
Tell me, what
Color is the sky
In your world?
99
00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:56,129
What's wrong?
100
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,566
I just want to be
Left alone for
A while, all right?
101
00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:00,300
You got it.
Thank you.
102
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,103
Hey, everybody, sam
Wants to be left alone.
103
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:05,939
Ok, sammy, spill your guts.
What's the matter?
104
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,608
Carla, I just
Said that
I want--
105
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,643
Yeah, but you're gonna end up
Telling me eventually,
106
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,279
So you might as well
Get it over with.
107
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,214
Go on.
Make you feel better.
108
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:16,884
Just keep this
To yourself.
109
00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:19,119
Remember how
I went over to
Denise's house?
110
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:23,156
Well, she didn't
Invite me over
For a good time.
111
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,659
She wanted to
Show me something.
112
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,795
What?
113
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:29,196
My child.
114
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,931
7 pounds,
10 ounces.
115
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:31,999
A baby boy.
116
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:35,068
[laughs]
117
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:43,210
What's so funny?
118
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,845
Sam malone
Finally got caught
119
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:48,816
With his hand
In the cookie jar.
120
00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:51,184
Carla, come on.
This is serious.
121
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:54,822
Oh, of course
It is, sam,
122
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:57,357
But I really think
You're going to be ok,
You know?
123
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,727
Yeah?
Just remember this.
124
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:01,529
This little piggy
Went to market...
125
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:06,366
This is not funny.
126
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,168
I'm sorry.
127
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:09,937
You sure it's yours?
128
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:12,440
No. It's between me
And another guy,
129
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,507
But the kid's
A real looker,
130
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:18,746
So, you know,
You figure it out.
131
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:21,715
So when are you going
To find out, dad?
132
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,084
Soon. She dragged me
Down to a lab
133
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,719
To have a blood test.
134
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,020
Well, what's the big deal?
You know,
135
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,789
You could just do what
All the other jerks do--
136
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:31,759
You pay a little
Money for support
And get off the hook.
137
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,961
Carla, it means a lot
More to me than that.
138
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:36,497
I'm telling you,
If this kid is mine,
139
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:39,099
Then I want to see
That he's fed,
140
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:41,502
That he's clothed,
And he's educated.
141
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:44,004
You know, I'm gonna
Take him to
Little league games, too.
142
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:47,575
I'm gonna be the best
Damn father you've
Ever seen.
143
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:49,076
Please don't
Let him be mine!
144
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:53,881
Oh! I tell you,
If I get out of this,
145
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:54,815
I swear to god,
146
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,684
I am through
Fooling around forever.
147
00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:58,586
Sam, don't swear to god.
148
00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:00,554
No, I mean it.
I mean it.
If I get out of this,
149
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:05,125
I swear to god, I'll
Never have sex again.
150
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,094
You? "Never?"
151
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,897
Yeah, not ever.
I mean, for the rest...
152
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:14,034
Well, 3 months,
3 months.
153
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:16,770
Well, I guess
The amount of sex
You have in 3 months
154
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,640
Is what most people
Have in a lifetime.
155
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:20,941
If they're
Attractive, I guess.
156
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,012
You have a phone call
From denise.
157
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,385
Carla, you know
That pitcher
Of beer
158
00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:33,754
You left
On your tray?
159
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:36,189
Some guy from
Table 6 came
And drank it.
160
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:39,059
We don't have
A table 6.
161
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,694
I knew I should have
Said table 5.
162
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:46,033
Hello?
163
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,568
Hi, denise.
164
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:49,870
What did
The doctor say?
165
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,271
Oh, thank god,
Oh, thank god,
166
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:53,106
Oh, thank god! Oh!
167
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,608
Oh, I'm so happy!
168
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:58,178
Well, I'm so happy
For the other guy. Yeah.
169
00:07:58,178 --> 00:07:59,913
Congratulations, huh?
170
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:02,449
Well, I'll call you
Some other time, then,
All right?
171
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:04,351
Bye-bye.
172
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:06,186
Doctor, sam?
173
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:07,087
Uh, yeah.
174
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:10,591
Uh, denise and I
And this other guy
175
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,392
Share the same doctor.
176
00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:13,994
She just wanted to
Let me know that
177
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:18,799
He'd gotten
Some new magazines
In the waiting room.
178
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:20,400
Ooh, you lucky dog!
179
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,603
Must be the
"Sports illustrated"
Swimsuit issue.
180
00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:29,943
Say, suzanne,
What do you say?
181
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:32,580
You want to help me
Celebrate here?
182
00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:34,414
I'd love to.
What are we celebrating?
183
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:37,017
I have no idea,
But whatever it is,
We're overdressed.
184
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:42,455
Ahem! Sam, aren't
You forgetting
Something?
185
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,391
I know, I know.
I'm gonna drop by
The old drugstore.
186
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:47,527
Don't worry.
I learned my lesson.
187
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,396
Could you wait
Just one second?
188
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:50,430
What?
189
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:53,033
Does the name god
Ring a bell?
190
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:53,934
Yeah.
191
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:56,837
The guy
You made a vow to?
192
00:08:56,837 --> 00:09:00,207
Oh, yeah, boy!
I almost forgot about that.
193
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:01,609
That's no big thing.
194
00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:03,310
No big thing?
195
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:06,780
Come on, god's a sport.
196
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,749
People make promises
Like that all the time,
197
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:10,751
But if god had to collect
On all of them,
198
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:13,687
He wouldn't have any time
To create natural wonders
199
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,255
Like that, for instance.
200
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,290
So you'll...
Oh, boy.
201
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,792
Give me
A minute here.
202
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,594
Sammy, I don't want to tell you
How to run your life,
203
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,462
But I want
To tell you this.
204
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:24,598
Don't mess with god.
205
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,834
Look at all the people
In the bible who did.
206
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:30,137
The entire population
Of sodom and gomorrah.
207
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:31,071
Lot's wife--
208
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,206
Turned into
A salt lick with boobs.
209
00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:38,846
Come on.
What's he going to do,
210
00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:43,283
Reach down from the clouds
And snatch me up?
211
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:44,718
Halt, infidel!
212
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:06,139
Sorry, sam. I was just
At an understudy rehearsal.
213
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:10,210
I thought you might
Get a kick out of
My costume.
214
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,244
You ought to warn people
215
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:14,715
Before you go around
Pretending to be god.
216
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,149
You thought I was god?
217
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:19,452
Thanks. I was only
Trying to be moses.
218
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:23,523
Hey, guys,
He thought I was god!
219
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,058
Sam, can we go now?
220
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,026
Yeah, you bet.
221
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:29,730
No, sam.
He has sent
His messenger.
222
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:32,599
What messenger?
That is just woody.
223
00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:34,067
You think
It's a coincidence
224
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,469
That woody came in
Just at that
Very moment
225
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,871
Dressed as moses?
226
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:40,007
I mean, of all
The places he
Could have been in.
227
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:42,375
Sam, he could
Have been dressed
As auntie mame.
228
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,277
Would that
Have scared you?
229
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:47,180
Yeah, a little.
230
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,516
Let's face it, sam.
That was a warning,
231
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:53,854
And you'd better
Take heed!
232
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:56,990
Oh, come on.
What's he going to do?
233
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,325
Well...
234
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:02,529
My cousin tino swore
He'd give up meat.
235
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:04,698
That night,
He ate a burger.
236
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,566
The next day,
His teeth fell out.
237
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:09,636
Oh, come on, carla,
There's no connection here.
238
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:12,405
I swore I would
Not have sex, so...
239
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:13,306
Ohh.
240
00:11:19,146 --> 00:11:22,649
Listen, I-I-I'm
Not really in
The mood anymore.
241
00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:24,952
Why not?
242
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:29,957
Carla's cousin tino's
Teeth fell out.
243
00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:32,793
Yeah, well, maybe
Some other time.
244
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,494
Why don't you
Give me a call?
245
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:35,763
I don't have
Your number.
246
00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:36,864
Perfect.
247
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:44,571
Are you satisfied,
God's little helper?
248
00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:48,008
Oh, listen, sam,
In the interest
Of authenticity,
249
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:51,278
You think there's any way
I could sound less like god
And more like moses?
250
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:54,314
Yeah.
Stop going around
Scaring people.
251
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,548
That's good.
That's good.
252
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:56,850
Now, how about the voice?
253
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:05,058
Now, sit down.
254
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:09,096
Now, how can I
Be of help?
255
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:12,165
Well, I would like
Your advice, father.
256
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:15,402
Actually, it's for
A friend of mine.
257
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,037
He, uh...
258
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:19,506
Got himself
Into kind of a bind,
259
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:22,175
And so, in desperation,
260
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:25,078
Promised god
He'd give up something.
261
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:29,182
And what did he
Promise to give up?
262
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:32,119
Sweets.
263
00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:35,388
Oh. I see.
264
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:39,092
Yeah, but my friend really
Likes sweets a lot...
265
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:43,931
And sweets
Like him a lot.
266
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:46,666
He hasn't had sweets now
For about two weeks,
267
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:51,905
And if he doesn't
Have sweets soon,
He's gonna explode.
268
00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:55,042
I see. And god's
Contractual obligation
269
00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:57,677
Was to get your friend
Out of this bind
You spoke of.
270
00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:00,613
Yes, sir,
Which he did.
271
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,916
Well, then,
What is the problem?
272
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,252
Well, my friend
Was wondering
273
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:08,388
What the penalty
Would be if he, say,
274
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:13,193
You know, had a huge
Box of chocolates.
275
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:16,196
Sam, I think
This is between
You and your god.
276
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:20,934
Yeah. Right.
277
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,769
Well, how--
278
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,204
How did you know
It was me?
279
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,605
In all the years
People have been
280
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,240
Coming here for
Their friends,
281
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:31,344
I have never met one
Of their friends.
282
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:34,114
Well, as long as
I'm busted,
283
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:36,116
I guess I might as well
Tell you the truth here.
284
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:39,119
I didn't promise
To give up sweets,
285
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:41,788
I promised
To give up sex.
286
00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:45,325
Ah, that is a tough one.
287
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,496
You know, sam,
288
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:53,566
The church does
Recommend chastity
To unmarried people.
289
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,006
Oh, I'm sorry.
You were serious. Um...
290
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:03,076
How do you do that?
291
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,577
I mean,
What do you do?
292
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:06,079
How do you not?
293
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,115
I mean,
Are there special tricks
294
00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:13,486
Or a certain way
Of sitting, maybe?
295
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:14,587
Well, yes,
296
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:18,391
But we are
Strictly forbidden
To reveal it.
297
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:19,726
You're kidding.
298
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:21,294
Yes.
299
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:22,229
Oh.
300
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:28,568
You know, sam,
I think you're
Looking for someone
301
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:32,105
To tell you
It's all right
To break your vow,
302
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,641
But I can't do that.
303
00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,509
You know,
I've found that
304
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:40,213
People who come here
Looking for answers
305
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,848
Usually know
What the answer is,
306
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:44,884
And I think
You do, too.
307
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,853
Yeah, maybe.
308
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:48,688
Well, thank you.
309
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:49,656
Oh.
310
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:50,557
Oh, no, no.
311
00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,565
Carla, carla,
Oh, great.
312
00:14:58,565 --> 00:14:59,566
Look, I think
I got it.
313
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,634
God's gonna have to
Accept this one.
314
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:04,404
"With the lord,
One day is as
A thousand years,
315
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:08,908
"And a thousand
Years is as
One day."
316
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,643
So?
So, that means
317
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:14,114
I've been out of
Action for
21,000 years.
318
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:15,815
That's gotta be
Good enough for him.
319
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:17,617
Sam, I'd like
To agree with you,
320
00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:20,487
Since you're so pathetic
It's annoying,
321
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:21,754
But no sale.
322
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:25,258
All right, all right.
I still got
Deuteronomy here.
323
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:30,263
Don't look, sammy.
Temptation at 12:00.
324
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,799
Oh.
325
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:34,401
Oh, oh, god.
326
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:37,637
Man, they're
Coming in waves.
327
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:40,440
[telephone ringing]
328
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,909
Cheers.
329
00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:46,013
This is him.
330
00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:51,451
You're kidding.
Moses has an ear infection.
331
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,321
All right! Yeah.
I'll be right there.
332
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,223
So, woody, they're
Gonna let you go on?
333
00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:57,924
No. I got to stop by
The drugstore
334
00:15:57,924 --> 00:15:59,292
And pick up
Some antibiotics.
335
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:04,931
So, believe it or not,
I've given up sex entirely,
336
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:07,300
But you gotta promise
Not to tell anybody.
337
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,503
Sam, confidentiality
Is the bedrock
Of my profession.
338
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,639
Besides,
Who'd believe me?
339
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:13,940
You were saying?
340
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:17,844
Well, I was just
Wondering what you think
I ought to do.
341
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:21,414
Well, you need to find
Another outlet for your
Sexual energies.
342
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:22,715
For example...
343
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:27,054
During 6 painfully
Frustrating months
Of my adolescence,
344
00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:30,290
I built a submarine
In our basement.
345
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:31,891
One of those little
Plastic models?
346
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,293
No. Life-size.
Slept 6.
347
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,896
The happiest
Hours of my youth
Were spent down there
348
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:40,900
In the dark
Shouting, "Fire one!"
349
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,936
"Fire two!"
350
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:46,206
Well, enough about me.
351
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:48,208
Let's address
This problem, sam.
352
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:50,543
Well, I don't
Know anything
About submarines.
353
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:52,612
Surely, you have
Other interests.
354
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,981
Sports, sailing, music?
355
00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:58,218
Well, yeah, I had
A piano lesson once.
356
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:02,989
Actually, I had
The piano teacher,
And it was twice.
357
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,591
I liked it.
358
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:07,994
Well, I tell you.
If you were to sit down
At the piano today
359
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:10,163
And channel
Your energies into it,
360
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:11,964
You would find
All your sexual tensions
361
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,833
Pouring out
Through your fingertips.
362
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,103
Yeah. Fingertips.
Yeah, right.
363
00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:17,837
And best of all, sam,
364
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:19,639
No matter how badly
You perform,
365
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,341
A piano never laughs,
366
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:22,675
Never stomps out
Of the room
367
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:27,314
And refuses to
Let you play again
For 3 days.
368
00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:29,048
Well...
I'm off to lilith.
369
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:37,056
Sam, would you please
Lock up?
370
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,658
I'm going
Home to bed.
371
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:39,559
Ok.
Good night.
372
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:44,364
Did you hear me?
373
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,499
I said I'm going
To go to bed.
374
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:49,769
Well, I hope you get
A good night's
Sleep.
375
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:50,703
Thank you.
376
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:55,074
Carla, I just
Left myself wide open
377
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,909
For one of sam's
Sleazy remarks,
378
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,511
And nothing.
379
00:17:58,511 --> 00:17:59,679
I mean,
Not that I want to,
380
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,080
But what does it mean
381
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:05,752
When you can't turn on
The horniest guy
That ever lived?
382
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,487
I am really getting old.
383
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,756
Rebecca,
Would you stop
Being ridiculous?
384
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,992
You're still
A young, beautiful,
Vibrant woman
385
00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:14,894
With a whole life
Ahead of her.
386
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,629
Are you
Just saying that?
387
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:17,530
Yes, I am.
388
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:21,268
I was taught
To humor old folks.
389
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:29,276
Carla, I can't
Take this anymore.
390
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:30,577
I mean,
I've tried everything.
391
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:32,179
I've stopped
Eating oysters.
392
00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:33,546
I'm taking cold showers.
393
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:37,384
I even started stuffing
Ice in my pockets.
394
00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:39,018
I tell you,
I'm not gonna make it.
395
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:40,620
Oh, sammy, buck up.
396
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,555
You only have 9
More weeks to go.
397
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:43,856
I'm talking about tonight.
398
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:54,867
Guess who.
399
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:55,835
Uh-oh.
400
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:57,036
I'll give you a hint--
401
00:18:57,036 --> 00:19:01,174
Vermont ski lodge,
A roaring fire,
And baby oil.
402
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:02,942
Uh...
403
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,477
Could you be
More specific?
404
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,080
Gravity boots.
405
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,783
Oh, rachel patterson.
406
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:12,552
Hi, sam.
How are you?
407
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,120
Oh, oh, boy,
I tell you, honey,
408
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,255
You're the last person
In the world
409
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:17,190
I want to see right now.
410
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,259
Nice to see you, too.
411
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:22,128
Listen, I have got
An 18-hour layover,
412
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:24,831
And I'm not
The least bit sleepy.
413
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,999
How would you like
To help me kill some time?
414
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:29,769
Listen,
Actually, I hear
415
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,504
Movies are good for
That kind of thing.
416
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,839
Why don't you--
Why don't you
417
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:36,709
Take in about
Two or 3 right in
A row there.
418
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:38,945
I know.
Smell.
419
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,079
I'm wearing that perfume
420
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:42,215
That always
Drove you so crazy.
421
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:44,251
Oh. "Devastation," huh?
422
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:49,422
Actually, I got this,
Uh, this head cold.
423
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,824
I wouldn't want you
To catch it.
424
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:54,193
I-I'm sorry.
425
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,829
What do you say?
Some other time?
426
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:57,964
Well...
427
00:19:57,964 --> 00:20:00,132
Ok.
428
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:02,001
Oh, sam...
429
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,069
Yeah?
430
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:04,170
A friend of mine
Snapped this
431
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:06,072
Of me on a beach
In ipanema.
432
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:08,508
I thought
You might like a copy.
433
00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:09,442
Oh.
434
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:16,283
Would you
Excuse me just for
A minute here?
435
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:22,289
Look at this.
436
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:28,995
I mean,
This is not fair.
437
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:30,497
I'm going for it.
438
00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:32,332
It's not like
I'm murdering anybody.
439
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:35,802
I'm just gonna bring
A great deal of pleasure
To two people.
440
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:40,740
So if in your
Infinite wisdom
441
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:44,210
You feel you have
To spite me down,
442
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:45,812
Please make it
Quick and painless.
443
00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:49,949
And if you could give me
About 3 hours,
444
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:50,983
I'd appreciate it.
445
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,322
Ok.
446
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,296
Sam?
447
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:09,736
[sniff sniff]
448
00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:10,770
"Devastation."
449
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:17,810
The hound is loose.
450
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:19,178
Please...
451
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:20,380
Go easy on him.
452
00:21:29,456 --> 00:21:31,324
Sammy, now you've
Done it.
453
00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:35,762
There's nothing
In your future but
Frogs and locusts.
454
00:21:35,762 --> 00:21:39,366
Why did you
Have to go
And do it, sammy?
455
00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:40,700
I didn't do it.
456
00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:41,601
What?
457
00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:44,103
I didn't do it.
458
00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:46,238
We went to the hotel.
459
00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:48,140
She got into bed.
460
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,477
I got into bed with her.
461
00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:52,645
Then I was folding up
My socks--
462
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:53,746
You fold up
Your socks?
463
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:55,548
Sure.
I'm not an animal.
464
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:01,454
Anyway...
465
00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:02,922
All of a sudden,
For no reason,
466
00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:07,226
I went over and I opened
The nightstand drawer,
467
00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:09,028
And there it was,
468
00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:11,163
Staring
Right up at me--
469
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,699
The bible.
470
00:22:12,699 --> 00:22:15,635
Can you imagine that,
A bible in a hotel room?
471
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,939
So we got out of there
Real quick,
472
00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:21,040
And we got another room,
473
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:24,844
And there it was again.
474
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:27,414
I mean, we went
From hotel to hotel,
475
00:22:27,414 --> 00:22:30,383
And it just followed
Us wherever we went.
476
00:22:30,383 --> 00:22:33,152
Then it dawned on me--
477
00:22:33,152 --> 00:22:35,622
This was
A bona fide miracle.
478
00:22:35,622 --> 00:22:37,390
God was speaking
To me directly
479
00:22:37,390 --> 00:22:39,426
Through hotel nightstands.
480
00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:44,597
He works
In mysterious ways.
481
00:22:44,597 --> 00:22:47,199
Amen.
Amen.
482
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:50,269
Excuse me, sam, but
In all the years
You played baseball
483
00:22:50,269 --> 00:22:51,971
Traveling throughout
The country,
484
00:22:51,971 --> 00:22:53,473
All the hotel rooms
You stayed in,
485
00:22:53,473 --> 00:22:54,874
Didn't you
Ever once noti--
486
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:58,645
Frasier, sam
Was just telling us
About a miracle
487
00:22:58,645 --> 00:23:01,514
That affected him
Very deeply.
488
00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:03,516
Now, what was it that
You were noticing?
489
00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:07,887
They always
Put those little
Strips of paper
490
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:10,657
Across the toilet.
491
00:23:10,657 --> 00:23:11,824
Just an observation.
492
00:23:14,961 --> 00:23:17,897
Sammy, I'm so
Proud of you.
493
00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:19,331
If you could
Hold out last night,
494
00:23:19,331 --> 00:23:21,067
You can make it
The whole 3 months.
495
00:23:23,335 --> 00:23:24,537
Sam, I'm late
For a party.
496
00:23:24,537 --> 00:23:25,872
Can you help me
With this zipper?
497
00:23:35,515 --> 00:23:38,150
Sam...Sam.
498
00:23:38,150 --> 00:23:39,118
Piano.
499
00:23:39,118 --> 00:23:40,186
Piano, sam.
500
00:23:40,186 --> 00:23:41,454
For god's sake, piano.
501
00:23:42,321 --> 00:23:44,457
[playing chopsticks]
3
00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:09,210
It says that one out of
Ever 3 of our leisure
Dollars
4
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:11,512
Is spent in some kind
Of amusement park.
5
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,714
Mickey mouse is
A billion-dollar
Industry.
6
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:14,882
For crying out--
You know,
7
00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:16,384
If you gotta have
Theme parks,
8
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,586
Why not give the kids
Some real heroes
To look up to.
9
00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:19,453
You know what I mean?
10
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,055
Like generals
Or astronauts,
11
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:23,224
Postal workers,
Pioneers--
12
00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:25,093
Whoa. Whoa.
Back up there, cliff.
13
00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:26,727
Postal workers?
14
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:29,897
Sure. Eh, why not?
15
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,799
Hey.
16
00:00:31,799 --> 00:00:32,966
Why not, indeed.
17
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:34,068
Get this--
18
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:35,869
Postal world.
19
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,705
Huh?
20
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:38,706
No. Hey, hey.
21
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,341
That's--that's
Not half bad.
22
00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:42,943
No. It's all bad.
23
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:44,145
No. No.
24
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:45,379
Just imagine this--
25
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,614
A whole
Amusement complex
26
00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:48,182
Devoted to
The postal
Experience.
27
00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:50,351
All america could
Thrill to the glory
28
00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:52,086
And the pageantry
And the passion
29
00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:53,687
That is the u.S.
Postal service.
30
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:56,924
And you seriously think
That will work?
31
00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:58,459
You bet I do.
32
00:00:58,459 --> 00:00:59,727
If I can
Peddle this idea,
33
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,462
I might be able to
Make some real money
34
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:04,632
And get out of
This dead-end job.
35
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:13,107
* making your way
In the world today *
36
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:16,144
* takes everything
You've got *
37
00:01:16,144 --> 00:01:18,912
* taking a break
From all your worries *
38
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:22,350
* sure would help a lot *
39
00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:25,453
* wouldn't you like
To get away? *
40
00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:30,090
* sometimes
You want to go *
41
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:33,727
* where everybody
Knows your name *
42
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:40,201
* and they're always
Glad you came *
43
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:42,570
* you want to be
Where you can see *
44
00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:45,306
* our troubles
Are all the same *
45
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:50,544
* you want to be where
Everybody knows your name *
46
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:53,113
* you want to go
Where people know *
47
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,683
* people are all the same *
48
00:01:55,683 --> 00:02:00,588
* you want to go where
Everybody knows your name *
49
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:24,212
Uh, we got a delivery here
For a woody boyd.
50
00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:25,546
Already?
51
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,748
Oh, boy.
52
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,850
Great. Sign right there.
53
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,885
Hey, sam, you think
Miss howe would mind
54
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:34,388
If I put this
In her office till
The end of my shift?
55
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:35,689
That depends.
What's in it?
56
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,291
4,000 bees.
57
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:40,528
Then, by all means.
58
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,732
Woody, I didn't know
You kept bees.
59
00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:45,833
Are you kidding?
60
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,134
Hey, when I was kid,
61
00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:48,336
You couldn't keep me away
62
00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:49,937
From my uncle fergie's
Hives.
63
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:52,540
If fact, you'll never guess
What they used to call me.
64
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,542
"The kid rolling
Around on the ground
65
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:58,178
In agony covered
With painful welts"?
66
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:02,450
No. Woody the beekeeper.
67
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:05,753
But you couldn't
Have known that.
68
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:08,222
Yeah, uncle fergie always
Told me that when he retired,
69
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,958
He's send me a batch
Of of his best
Buck fast bees.
70
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,660
Huh? This is
Gonna be great.
71
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:15,629
Woody, are you sure
It's safe to keep
Those things in here?
72
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:19,367
Mr. Clavin, a bee
Won't hurt you
Unless you scare him.
73
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:21,969
Like my uncle fergie
Always told me,
74
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,804
"Move slowly
And methodically
75
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,739
And a bee can be
Your best friend."
76
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:28,376
Go for it, cliff.
77
00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:30,210
It's the best offer
You ever had.
78
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,750
Oh, well, if it isn't
The boss lady
79
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,052
Rolling in at
The crack of 3:30.
80
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:42,756
You know, I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to tell
Your superior
81
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:45,025
And my close personal
Friend mr. Stone
82
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,193
That you were late.
83
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:47,861
You're a lousy snitch, malone.
84
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:50,230
Hey, that's not true.
I'm gonna tell him
You said that.
85
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:53,834
Tell him whatever you want
To tell him. I don't care.
86
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:55,803
I'm sick and tired of
Spending my time
87
00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:58,306
Catering to the whims
Of that psycho stone.
88
00:03:58,306 --> 00:04:01,442
How many ks in psycho?
89
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:04,278
Hi, miss howe.
You got a message.
90
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:05,713
Mr. Stone got fired,
91
00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:07,114
And the new executive
Vice president
92
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:10,451
Wants to see you
In his office at
4:30 p.M. Sharp.
93
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:11,852
Let me see that.
94
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,823
This is a blank
Piece of paper, woody.
95
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:19,660
I know. I just carried
It to remind me to
Give you the message.
96
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,230
Stone's out?
97
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,699
My main man at hq?
98
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:28,836
Boy, there go all my
Corporate hopes.
99
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:32,506
Wait a minute. I don't
Have any corporate hopes.
100
00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:36,176
Well, this let's you
Off the hook
101
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:37,645
A little bit,
Doesn't it?
102
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,179
Don't be so sure.
Things don't change.
103
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:40,548
It's just
Another executive
104
00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:41,782
Who'll take an instant
Dislike to me
105
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,984
And then make
My life hell...
106
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:46,954
Unless he's been
Reading my reports,
107
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,989
And sees that I've been
Treated unfairly,
108
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:51,124
And decides to
Champion me in the firm.
109
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,660
Come off it!
110
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,161
I'm sure he's already
Heard the stories,
111
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:57,531
And he's just gonna bring
Me in there and laugh at me.
112
00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:58,832
I need to calm down.
113
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:01,068
I'm beginning to hear
Buzzing sounds.
114
00:05:04,372 --> 00:05:06,073
What the hell's
In this box?
115
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:07,808
Those are my bees,
Miss howe.
116
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,843
Enough said.
117
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,979
Hey, can I keep them in there
Till the end of the day?
118
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,013
Sure, anything you want.
119
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,248
In my mood,
I'll agree to anything.
120
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,250
Sounds like my cue.
121
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,687
Sammy, for crying
Out loud.
122
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:21,922
Why is it always
The great ones who never
Know when to retire?
123
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,291
Hey, come on, I'm the cy young
Of skirt chasers.
124
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:25,859
Yeah. Cy young's
108 and dead
125
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:29,463
And still doing
Better with rebecca
Than you are.
126
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:31,865
That all right.
I know where
My problem was.
127
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:33,867
I made too big a deal
Out of everything.
128
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:37,170
I've always been at my best
When I was spontaneous.
129
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,338
I'm just gonna
Go in here
130
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,773
And say whatever
Comes to my mind.
131
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:40,741
Ready, norm?
132
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:41,942
Frasier: say, what are those?
133
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,076
Visual aids.
134
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:46,480
Good afternoon, ms. Howe.
135
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,816
I believe you've met
My associate mr. Peterson.
136
00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:50,851
How do you do?
137
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:51,985
What is this?
138
00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:53,320
Well, since you admire
139
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,355
The people in the business
World so much,
140
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,890
I thought that I would
Try speaking to you
141
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,492
In a language that
You might understand.
142
00:05:58,492 --> 00:05:59,727
First graph, please.
143
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:01,562
Norm, how much did he
Pay you to do this?
144
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:04,465
Come now.
Mr. Malone and I
Go way back.
145
00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:06,934
We're dear old friends--
$80, not yet.
146
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:14,374
Ok. Now this
First graph represents
Your dating history.
147
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,375
There's nothing on it.
148
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:18,912
Exactly!
Next graph, please.
149
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:22,115
Now, this line
Represents
The sexual drive
150
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:23,684
Of a woman
About your age
151
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:25,118
Throughout
Her entire life.
152
00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:28,689
Now, this line here,
153
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,023
Represents
The sexual drive
154
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:30,991
Of a man about my age.
155
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:32,693
You'll notice that
These two lines
156
00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:35,062
Intersect at
Approximately 4:27
This afternoon
157
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,064
Right here.
158
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,298
What's that?
159
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:39,867
My place.
160
00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:43,871
Thank you,
Mr. Peterson.
That will be all.
161
00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:45,873
You know, norm, I would have
Expected this of sam,
162
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,608
But I can't believe
You were part of it.
163
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:48,942
Well, it was either this
164
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:51,579
Or listen to cliff
Sing the "Ave maria."
165
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,949
Cliff: * ave maria... *
166
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:00,688
Please. Five more minutes.
Could I, please?
167
00:07:00,688 --> 00:07:03,924
Ho, ho! I've got work
To do here, man.
168
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:06,860
* maria,
Of the most high *
169
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:13,400
Well, that concludes
The formal part of our program.
170
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:17,037
Now, let's get naked.
171
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,472
Sam, I am very flattered
172
00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:20,608
That you went to the trouble
To buy a pointer.
173
00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:25,378
But I'm not
Going out with you.
174
00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:27,080
Oh--why?
175
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,316
Because
I'm concentrating
On my career.
176
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:33,654
That's fine. But before you
Make the final decision on this,
177
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,355
Let's try this.
178
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:38,458
Have sex with me
25 times,
179
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,827
And if at the end
Of the night,
180
00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:40,994
You're still not sure,
181
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,931
Then I won't say
Another thing.
182
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:46,333
No. Sam, look, I have
Wasted too much time.
183
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:47,901
I'm not getting
Any younger,
184
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,136
And I've made
A decision
185
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:51,371
To only date men
Who can help
My career.
186
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:53,574
They have a name
For women like that.
187
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:57,010
Yeah.
Vice-president.
188
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,879
You know, I'll tell you
Something, lady.
189
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,048
You know, you go ahead
And have a career
190
00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:03,517
Of sucking up to people
That'll get you ahead.
191
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:05,152
I wouldn't date you now
192
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,287
If you got down on
Your hands and knees
193
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:09,189
And begged me to
Go out with you.
194
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,824
You--you want proof?
195
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,693
Go ahead. Come on.
Ask me out on a date.
196
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,294
Sam, you've tried
This ploy before.
197
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:16,597
No. I'm serious.
Ask me.
198
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:17,798
Will you go out with me?
199
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,199
No, not in
A million years.
200
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:21,635
Not if you were
The last woman on earth.
201
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,073
Ok. Now we know
I can do it.
202
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:28,175
Let's celebrate.
203
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:44,692
Whup.
204
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:45,893
Here you go, miss.
205
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:48,629
Thank you.
206
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:50,764
You work here
In headquarters?
207
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:53,266
No, I'm out in the field
In a managerial position.
208
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:56,336
I'm here for a meeting
With the new executive
Vice-president mr. Teal.
209
00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:58,138
Ooh.
210
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,207
He's tough.
211
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:01,308
You nervous?
212
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:04,044
Hardly. I've seen so
Many suits come and go
213
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,446
That now I just
Take them in stride.
214
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:07,981
I admire that.
215
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,583
Of course
I admire anything
216
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:12,986
With those dark,
Smoldering eyes.
217
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:16,957
[bell rings]
218
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:18,325
Excuse me.
219
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:20,661
If you would like--
220
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,864
It's getting a little
Crowded in here.
221
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:26,333
Maybe we could continue
This conversation
222
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,168
Over dinner tonight.
223
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,340
You're asking me
To dinner?
224
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,442
Dinner and...
Who knows?
225
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:37,745
Oh.
226
00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:39,546
Well, that sounds fine.
227
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:40,681
Shall we take my car,
228
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:43,250
Or will your mommy
Be driving it?
229
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,153
What?
230
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:48,021
Oh, and I have
One other strict rule.
231
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,190
I like all my guys to eat
All their nice vegetables
232
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:53,160
And not spill anything
On their bibbums.
233
00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,633
[knock on door]
234
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,102
Mr. Teal, your secretary
Must have stepped out
For a moment.
235
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,537
I'm rebecca howe.
What an honor
To meet you, sir.
236
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:05,939
I'm not martin teal.
237
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,040
I am.
238
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,776
Aah!
239
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:26,093
I see you've met dennis,
My administrative aide.
240
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:28,829
I'm so sorry, mr. Teal,
I didn't realize--
241
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,630
My age
Probably threw you.
242
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:31,832
As it often does.
243
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:34,802
After all, how many
Corporate executives
244
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:36,970
Have graduated
From harvard at 18,
245
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,972
Wharton business school
At 20,
246
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,874
And assumed
A major leadership role
247
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:43,210
While still practically in
The flower of their youth?
248
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:46,914
He's fair but firm
And hates yes men.
249
00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:49,482
Thank you, dennis.
Yes, sir.
250
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,318
Get the door.
251
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:53,153
I called
This meeting
252
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,521
So that we can get
Better acquainted,
253
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,924
But now I don't suppose
That's necessary.
254
00:10:56,924 --> 00:10:59,226
Believe me, mr. Teal--
255
00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:01,862
May I call you mister?
256
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:05,899
I would have never have
Been so harsh with you
In that elevator if...
257
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:08,802
I hadn't
Been so...
258
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:11,238
Powerfully tempted
To say yes.
259
00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:14,241
And I couldn't because
I make it a policy
260
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,143
To never date anyone
In the company.
261
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:17,044
Mistake.
262
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,411
I think that's
A good policy.
263
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:22,049
Oh, as a policy, yes.
I missed the policy part.
264
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:25,252
Yes, I think that's
A very good policy.
265
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:27,921
That's why I've decided
To have you terminated.
266
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:30,791
[laughs]
267
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:32,259
[laughs]
268
00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:34,227
Ha ha ha!
269
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,729
Oh, thank you, sir,
270
00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:37,097
For easing the tension
271
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:40,200
Of what could have been
A very difficult moment.
272
00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:44,671
Yes, I think
It's a very good policy
273
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:46,239
Not to date
Fellow employees.
274
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,942
But of course, I'm not
An employee, miss howe,
275
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:51,311
I'm an employer.
276
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,613
That's true, sir.
277
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,148
In light of that,
278
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:58,318
Would you like to reconsider
My earlier offer of dinner?
279
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,720
Oh, well...Uh...
280
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:01,989
Now you're forcing me
281
00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:03,824
To tell you
The real reason
282
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:06,226
Why I couldn't accept
Your poetic
283
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:10,630
And, may I say,
Very touching proposal.
284
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:14,367
And that reason
Is that I...
285
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,303
You're seeing
Someone else?
That's it!
286
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:19,006
Very good, sir.
Bull's-eye.
287
00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:21,842
Who's the lucky devil?
288
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:24,277
Oh, it's just somebody
At the bar.
289
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:26,479
Sam malone.
290
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,483
I see.
Well, fair enough.
291
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:35,722
Margie, have
Sam malone fired.
292
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:37,057
[laughs]
293
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:40,393
Ho ho ho ho!
Ha ha ha.
294
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:42,195
Forgive me again, rebecca.
295
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,797
We'll say no more
About this.
296
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:45,899
Sit down.
297
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,334
I called you here today
298
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,837
Because I've decided
To reinstate you
299
00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:52,072
As the sole manager
Of cheers.
300
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:54,875
Oh, thank you, sir.
301
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:56,476
You're
A wonderful man.
302
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:57,577
And I want to assure you
303
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,346
That our earlier
Misunderstanding
Will have
304
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:01,648
Absolutely no bearing
On our working
Relationship.
305
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:02,816
Good.
306
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,617
I hope you'll
Forgive me, though,
307
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,786
If I do
Occasionally dream
308
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:10,157
About your dark,
Haunting eyes.
309
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:16,063
Nothing would make
My eyes happier, sir.
310
00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:18,431
Well, then there's hope.
311
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:20,267
Till we meet again?
312
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:30,310
Margie, get me
Sam malone at cheers.
313
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,345
Sir?
314
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:35,082
May I ask why
You're calling him?
315
00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:37,384
I just thought I'd
Introduce myself.
316
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:38,385
Have a little chat.
317
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:40,120
I didn't get
Where I am today
318
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,089
Without sizing up
The competition.
319
00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:44,591
And I suppose
You'll be mentioning
320
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:46,426
My relationship
With sam.
321
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:47,727
It might come up.
322
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:50,263
Then I'd better
Come clean.
323
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,199
He's at lunch.
Call him back in an hour.
324
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:53,901
It's a bit late
For lunch.
325
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,735
He had
A big breakfast.
326
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:58,138
I have to run, sir.
Bye-bye.
327
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:06,513
Ok, little bee buddies!
328
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:07,881
Here comes dinner!
329
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:11,051
Equal parts
Sugar and water.
330
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:14,087
Can you blame them
For loving it?
331
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,224
Sure nobody
Wants to help?
332
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:18,758
No, they're all yours,
Woody.
333
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:21,261
Ok, but
You haven't lived
334
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,663
Till you've heard the soft,
Warm, contented hum
335
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,732
Of a well-fed hive.
336
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:27,400
[buzzing]
337
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,003
That's not it.
338
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,838
Those bees
Loose in there?
339
00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:33,106
No, there's nothing
To worry about.
340
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:34,307
I'll just go in
And round them up.
341
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,910
My uncle fergie sent
His bee-keeping gear
342
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:39,146
In one
Of these boxes.
343
00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:41,481
I don't mean to be
An alarmist or anything,
344
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:44,551
But I think I saw
One of those bees fly out
When he closed the door.
345
00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:52,292
I--well, I sort of have
This thing about insects.
346
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:53,793
Relax, frasier.
The last thing
347
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:55,128
That bee wants to do
Is sting you.
348
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:56,529
He stings you,
He dies.
349
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:57,897
True.
350
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,199
Unless, of course,
351
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:01,301
It's one of those
A rare rogue bees.
352
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,335
Oh, frasier,
There he is!
353
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,337
He just flew
Down your shirt!
354
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:11,078
Ah! I was wrong.
355
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:13,480
It was just
A piece of lint.
356
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,385
Well, thank goodness
You told me
357
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,988
Before I made
A fool of myself.
358
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:26,459
I'm ready, guys.
359
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,795
The smoke will calm
Them right down
360
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,330
So I can get them
All rounded up
361
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:33,133
Before miss howe even
Knows about this.
362
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,036
Oh, hi, miss howe.
363
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,905
Listen, I was wondering
If I could
364
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:40,840
Use your phone for
A second in private
365
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,242
With you not in there.
366
00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:43,710
Not that
There's anything
Wrong or anything.
367
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,545
Why would I think that?
368
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,149
[buzzing]
369
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,683
[door closes]
370
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:53,753
So...
371
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:55,155
How did
Your meeting go?
372
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,657
It was very nice.
I met the new boss mr. Teal.
373
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,192
We exchanged
Pleasantries.
374
00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:00,660
You're no longer
The co-manager
375
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,862
And have been demoted
To just bartender.
376
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:05,132
Demoted?
Just like that?
377
00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:06,933
The company didn't
Even have the courtesy
378
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,335
To give me
A phone call?
379
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,937
By the way, sam, you had
A phone call his afternoon.
380
00:16:10,937 --> 00:16:12,439
You've been demoted.
381
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:15,342
Why didn't
You tell me?
382
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:19,012
Do I look like
An answering service
For bartenders?
383
00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:21,548
Sam, I do have some
Really good news, though.
384
00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:22,882
What?
385
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:24,684
I'm accepting
Your offer.
386
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:25,985
Which offer is that?
387
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,620
Dinner, silly.
388
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:28,821
Is this pity?
389
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,624
'cause I just
I want to know
How to dress.
390
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,293
No, it's not pity.
391
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:36,729
Boy, from now on,
I'm just going
To stop being coy.
392
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,066
[telephone rings]
393
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:41,701
Cheers.
394
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:45,338
Sam. Martin teal
For you.
395
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,209
Oh.
396
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,911
Uh, hello, mr. Teal.
397
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:53,480
Oh, no, no.
398
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,847
There's no need
To apologize.
399
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,650
As a matter of fact,
I think my new position's
400
00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:04,023
Going to get me
Into all sorts
Of new positions.
401
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:07,560
Well, y-yes.
As a matter of fact,
402
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,062
Wearegoing
Out tonight.
403
00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:11,664
Boy, news travels fast.
404
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,866
Um...Yes.
405
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:16,469
Yes, she is beautiful.
406
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:19,339
I-I-I will take
Good care of her, sir.
407
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:22,442
Could you--could you hold on
For a second here?
408
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:27,280
I think I--
There's a fire
Somewhere here.
409
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,848
You're only
Going out with me
410
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:31,017
'cause you want to
Avoid this guy, am I right?
411
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:33,253
Don't be silly, sam.
412
00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:35,822
You're my guy.
413
00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:40,293
Could you hold
For a second?
414
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:43,029
You told me you
Wanted to go out
415
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:44,964
With somebody who was
Rich and powerful.
416
00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:46,032
This guy's rich and powerful.
417
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:47,567
Yet you still want
To date me?
418
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:50,470
Come on. What's wrong
With this picture?
419
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:55,007
Oh...What's wrong
With his picture?
420
00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:58,878
I got to see
This turnip.
421
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:00,680
Hel--yes. Sir?
422
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,915
I found out what
Was on fire there.
423
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:06,119
Well, rebecca...
Rebecca's burning
My love letters.
424
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,720
She says we're
All through. Yeah.
425
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,823
What's that, rebecca?
Oh. She wants to talk
To you, sir.
426
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:12,459
No.
427
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:18,131
Hello, sir.
428
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:21,234
Yes, it is
Very sudden.
429
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:22,969
Oh, no.
It's going
To take me
430
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:26,839
A long, long time
To get over this.
431
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:29,142
8:00 tonight
Will be fine.
432
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,278
I'll see you
Then, sir.
433
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,146
Sir? Sir, are you there?
Listen...
434
00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:34,814
I hope you do us
The honor of coming down
435
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,949
To our establishment
For a drink, 'cause we...
436
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,686
Well, we'd sure love
To welcome you aboard.
437
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:42,189
Ok. Thank you.
438
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:47,194
[buzzing]
439
00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:50,930
No sudden movement.
440
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,265
No need to worry.
441
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:54,534
I'm just going to
Take 'em home with me.
442
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:59,372
I just hope
I have exact change
For the bus.
443
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:04,377
No sudden movement.
444
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:17,590
Oh. I forgot.
We close at 2:00.
445
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:20,059
And I so wanted everyone
To meet you, martin.
446
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:22,329
Well,
Maybe next time.
447
00:19:22,329 --> 00:19:24,397
Hi, rebecca.
Hi, rebecca.
448
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:34,674
What were you all
Doing down there?
449
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:39,145
Uh, we were playing
Hide and seek.
450
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,780
Who was seeking?
451
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:44,251
I guess that's why it was
Going so slowly.
452
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,957
So you must be,
Uh, mr. Teal.
453
00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:52,859
Well, this is
An honor, sir.
454
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:56,396
Meet sam malone
And a bunch
Of other people.
455
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:58,698
Yeah, you know,
456
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,968
We've been waiting
For this moment
For a long time.
457
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,536
Geneva on
The car phone, sir.
458
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,406
Will you excuse me
For a moment?
459
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:17,517
[snickers] go ahead.
Get it over with.
460
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,151
Get what over with?
461
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:21,454
The stupid
Cradle robber jokes--
462
00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:23,155
Did I cut his meat
At dinner?
463
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,892
Or did he order
Beanie wienies?
464
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,663
We don't know what you're
Talking about, rebecca.
465
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:35,568
Unless...Well...He--
He is a little young.
466
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:38,104
What's wrong with
That fact that he's young?
467
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:39,806
Well, no,
Nothing at all.
468
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:41,541
Unless you're planning
On taking him
469
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:44,243
Across state lines.
470
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:53,252
Ok, guys, let's leave
These two lovebirds
To themselves here.
471
00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:59,292
Well, all right.
Home to my swarm.
472
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:01,127
I just hope they
Stayed in the room
473
00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:03,262
Like I told them.
474
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,832
Woody, that swelling
Go down yet, buddy?
475
00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:08,968
Yeah, almost. I can nearly
Button my cuffs now.
476
00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:13,172
Well, I hope you had
A good time tonight.
477
00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:15,675
No, but at least now
I know why
478
00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:17,977
I never stood
A chance with you.
479
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:22,415
I have all these flaws.
I'm tall. I'm good-looking.
480
00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:25,217
I'm old enough to vote.
481
00:21:25,217 --> 00:21:28,254
You know, martin can
Pick up the phone
And get a reservation
482
00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:31,324
At any top restaurant
In boston at
A moment's notice.
483
00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:32,625
Oh, and I can't?
484
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:33,793
Well, pick up
The phone
485
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,328
And get me
A reservation at, uh,
486
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:36,529
Chez maurice.
487
00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:38,998
I already said I can't.
488
00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:44,837
I do have an in
At shea stadium, though.
489
00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:48,708
All right, granted.
490
00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:50,677
Martin isn't exactly
What I pictured,
491
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:52,845
But he can
Help my career.
492
00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:55,482
And it wouldn't be in
My best interests
To say no.
493
00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:56,883
Oh, please!
494
00:21:56,883 --> 00:21:59,486
You don't have the guts
To say no to this guy.
495
00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:01,888
That is absolutely
Not true.
496
00:22:01,888 --> 00:22:06,926
I choose to not
Have the guts to say
No to this guy.
497
00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:09,328
And so what if
It helps my career?
498
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:11,030
He gets something
Out of it, too.
499
00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:12,365
Yeah. I bet he does.
500
00:22:12,365 --> 00:22:13,533
I resent that.
501
00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:14,834
I'll have you know
That he has been
502
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:17,136
Nothing but a
Perfect little ge--
503
00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:19,005
A perfect gentleman,
504
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:21,007
Which is something
You wouldn't understand,
505
00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:22,609
Mr. Groin!
506
00:22:26,646 --> 00:22:27,814
I mean, here are
Two people
507
00:22:27,814 --> 00:22:29,382
That are getting
Something out of this,
508
00:22:29,382 --> 00:22:30,717
No strings attached,
509
00:22:30,717 --> 00:22:32,051
And nobody's
Getting hurt.
510
00:22:32,051 --> 00:22:33,853
End of discussion.
511
00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:40,927
Where's rebecca?
512
00:22:40,927 --> 00:22:44,130
She's in the office,
And I'm on my way out.
513
00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:45,932
Sam, before
You take off--
514
00:22:45,932 --> 00:22:49,769
Um, are you planning
On winning rebecca back?
515
00:22:49,769 --> 00:22:51,037
No.
516
00:22:51,037 --> 00:22:52,138
Excellent.
517
00:22:52,138 --> 00:22:54,306
Because I'm a man
Who gets what he wants,
518
00:22:54,306 --> 00:22:58,411
And I've decided
I want her.
519
00:22:58,411 --> 00:23:00,980
You're giving her
A doorknob?
520
00:23:05,351 --> 00:23:07,620
It's a diamond ring, sam.
521
00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:10,590
You know,
Isn't a diamond ring
522
00:23:10,590 --> 00:23:12,258
What guys usually give
When they're about to--
523
00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:14,260
That's right, sam.
524
00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:15,628
When I see something
I want,
525
00:23:15,628 --> 00:23:17,196
I see no reason
To wait for it.
526
00:23:17,196 --> 00:23:19,632
Now if you'll
Excuse me,
527
00:23:19,632 --> 00:23:21,634
I have a deal
To close.
528
00:23:21,634 --> 00:23:24,471
Don't take no
For an answer, sir.
529
00:23:24,471 --> 00:23:27,507
I never do.
530
00:23:35,381 --> 00:23:37,249
Rebecca: aah!
531
00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:38,918
Ohh.
[body falls]
532
00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:39,986
Rebecca?
533
00:23:41,721 --> 00:23:44,023
[whistling"Wedding march"]
534
00:23:49,496 --> 00:23:51,698
[theme music playing]
72803
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