All language subtitles for Riverdale.S07E04.WEB

Things were dire.

My friend Ethel's parents

had been brutally murdered
the night of the sock hop.

And suddenly, Ethel and I
were the prime suspects.

You drew this picture,

didn't you, Ethel?

And they're meant to be
your mother and father.

Yes, but it was a joke.

Then why did Mr. Jones hide it under
his mattress like a dirty secret?

And is this where
your far-fetched story

about a killer milkman
came from? A comic book?

No, no. I saw a milkman
leaving my house...

Don't say anything else, not
until we talk to a lawyer.

You know, a picture is worth
a thousand words, Mr. Jones.

And these... Well, these
tell a very disturbing story.

Well...

Well, maybe they'll be more
talkative down at the station.

Jughead, what's happening?

They're railroading us.

Let's go, Jughead.

Where do you get off, Andrews,
taking advantage of my sister?

Going all the way with her
at Veronica's make-out party.

Okay, first of all, you
encouraged me to date Cheryl.

And second of all, I didn't.

We did not go all the way.

That's not what Cheryl's saying.

Cheryl, why did you tell your
brother we went all the way?

We didn't, we kissed.
That's all we did.

We did more than that, Archie.

I mean, Bela Lugosi didn't
give me this beauty mark.

Oh, okay, okay. We barely
made it to second base.

So why tell Julian
we scored a homerun?

I can't explain it.

But by saying that we
did, it's helping me...

with a problem I'm having.

Just know that by
corroborating my story...

you'd be protecting me.

Protecting you?
How and from whom?

My family.

Archie, please don't ask me
any more questions than that.

Anyway, it's just a
little white lie, right?

Really, who is it hurting?

I want to give this
back to you, Betty.

That was fast.

Did you glean something
from it, at least?

I think so.

I think I know what you want.

And?

And I... I wanna
wait until marriage.

Oh, I see.

Well, how about this?

I'm not okay with you

making all of the decisions
in this relationship, Kevin.

So, as far as I'm concerned,

we're not going steady anymore.

Betty, what is it?
Why are you crying?

Kevin and I broke up.

Boys ruin everything.

What did he do?

Well, we were talking about having
a more physical relationship.

And an ultimatum was put down.

You wanted to wait
till marriage?

No, Kevin said he wanted
to wait until marriage.

So I broke up with him.

Don't be ashamed of
your desires, Betty.

More girls should
do what you did.

Ask for what they want from
their supposed boyfriends.

What do I do now?

Well, how about you and
I go to the Dark Room

and grab a coffee?

And Betty...

maybe this breakup is exactly
what the doctor ordered.

How's poor Ethel doing?

I think she's in shock.

I can only imagine. What
are they saying to you?

Not much. Just that they can only
hold us legally for 24 hours.

After which, they either have
to release us or charge us.

But you were at the dance.

We were all there together.

If there was some way that
we could prove the time

that Ethel's parents were killed,
it might be enough to clear me.

Then I'd figure out a
way to exonerate Ethel.

Putting on my Nora Charles hat,

doesn't Riverdale
have a coroner?

That would have performed
an autopsy on the Muggs?

Every town has a coroner.

But I don't know who that is.

Let me find out.

I'll be back.

Hey, Veronica... Nora Charles?

The Thin Man is one
of my favorite films.

I had a feeling.

Mom, what's wrong?

Mrs. Blossom just came by.

Is it true what she's
saying you and Cheryl did?

How did this happen?

Mom, I don't really feel comfortable
discussing this with you.

You think I do?

Never mind.

Just go upstairs and
change into your suit.

Why?

Because we're going over to
the Blossoms' for dinner,

to figure out a path through this
mess that you and Cheryl made.

So, how was your trip to
Washington, Mr. Mayor?

Oh, Mary, please.
It's Clifford.

As for my trip, well, it
was, uh... It was productive.

But...

to come home to our
fair town torn asunder.

Two murders, and our
young people in crisis.

World has indeed gone
sideways. Joe was right.

Senator McCarthy.

So, tell me, Archie.

What do you think of
the Russia problem?

The Russia problem, sir?

The Russians. Arming
themselves against us,

infiltrating us, undermining
our very way of life.

Well...

Well, Russia is a big...

It's a massive problem, sir.

It's, I mean, clearly...

You're a very smart
young man, Archie.

You remind me of your father.

Fred was a decent, hard
working, red-blooded American.

Thank you, sir.

Mary, after dinner, I think
we should adjourn to my study.

We have much to discuss.

I'm sorry I never
got to meet your dad.

You must miss him a lot.

Yeah, he was...

He was my best friend.

That is so sweet.

We used to go to the movies
almost every weekend.

- Westerns, those
were his favorites.

Mine too.

And afterwards we'd go
to Pop's for burgers.

We'd joke about riding out west
to California, to live on a ranch.

Being cowboys.

It's funny. I think
about that a lot.

All right.

First things first.
Let's get you that decaf.

You know what?
Betty, let's go.

You don't wanna see this.

See what?

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

According to the time of
death on that certificate,

Jughead was at the dance

when Mr. and Mrs.
Muggs were murdered.

This doesn't account for Ethel's
whereabouts at the time of the murders.

That may be the case.

But you can at least
release Jughead, can't you?

I'm sorry, but is that
cell gonna unlock itself?

Because I'm a very
busy teenager, Sheriff.

Mm.

I think they were trying
to starve me in there.

Thankfully, I managed to get
Ethel to finally open up.

She told you where she was
when her parents were killed?

Mm-hmm. And her reluctance
to fess up makes sense too.

It turns out, she was doing the
car seat cha-cha with, get this...

Julian Blossom.

Ethel was waiting at the
bus stop to go to the dance

when Julian drove by
and offered to take her.

You going to the dance?

Come on, I'll give you a ride.

When instead, he took
her to Lover's Lane

and then tried to
put the moves on her.

As Ethel described it,
she welcomed it at first.

But Julian decided to
get a little handsy.

Julian warned her
not to say anything

and that if she did, he would
call her a nymphomaniac.

Make her the town laughingstock.

Of course, we know what
happened after that.

When she decided to go
home instead of the dance.

Terrible.

I say we talk to Julian
at school tomorrow.

Ethel thinks that
ratting him out

is only going to make
things worse for her.

And she may be right.

So it's up to Julian to
do the honorable thing.

God help us.

And where have you
been, young lady?

I was just having coffee
with my friend Toni.

Hmm. Well, Mrs. Keller called.

Did you break up
with Kevin today?

Oh, Betty, why did you do that?

He is so upset.

He's devastated.

Mrs. Keller doesn't
know where he is.

She's worried sick.

Kevin is fine.

I just saw him at
the coffeehouse.

And rest assured, he's
found a shoulder to cry on.

A very manly shoulder.

And?

And looking back, that's been the
problem with us this whole time, Mom.

Kevin likes boys.

Oh, Elizabeth.

Here, honey, come sit.

Even if he does,
it's just a phase.

See, carnal passion like
that, it never lasts.

It will fade.

And then, eventually,
he'll be ready to...

To what?

To kiss me? To want to kiss me?

To marry you.

To settle down.

Start a family.

Mom, how could I possibly
marry and live with Kevin,

knowing the truth now?

You and Kevin,

you've been building a
relationship for two years.

I know.

And if he's going through some
kind of sexual identity crisis,

don't you owe it to him
to help him through it?

If only as a friend.

Holy heck.

Hot Dog.

Where'd they take you, boy?

Well...

That was torture.

Well, Mr. Blossom said some
nice stuff about Dad, at least.

Oh, Clifford Blossom has
always been a hypocrite.

And a war profiteer
and a draft dodger.

How is he a war profiteer?

He sold maple syrup to the Army at
a premium during the Korean War.

I've always managed to give
the Blossoms a wide berth.

But now, thanks to you, we'll be
linked for the rest of our lives.

What are you talking about?

The Blossoms and I
have had a long talk.

And we've decided that,
based on your actions,

the best thing to do would
be for you and Cheryl...

to get married.

Married?

Aren't Cheryl and I
too young to do that?

Dr. Werthers will be giving
you and Cheryl a test tomorrow.

I have to take a test now too?

A compatibility test.

Cupid's checklist, to make
sure that you and Cheryl are...

Compatible.

Yes, and psychologically
ready to get married.

Mom, this can't be
what you want for me.

It isn't.

But if you're old enough to...

do what you did,

then you're old enough to
take responsibility for it.

Think of Cheryl's honor.

That poor girl's reputation
could be destroyed.

And I know you don't want that.

Gosh, Midge... Are you sure?

I'm never late.

I'm scared, Fangs.

Don't worry, baby. I love you.

We're going to figure
this out. I promise.

What do you two want?

We know that you were with Ethel
before arriving to the dance.

Is that what Ethel says?

She wishes.

You're a terrible liar.

If you already know the whole
story, then why the third degree?

Because they're trying
to bamboozle Ethel.

You were the only one that was with
her when her parents were eighty-sixed.

So you can be her alibi.

But you need to tell the
truth to Sheriff Keller.

I'm not doing that.

Why not?

I'm a Blossom.

It would be...

unseemly for me to admit that
I made a play for someone as...

inappropriate as Ethel Muggs.

Then why do it in
the first place?

I don't know.

Cheap thrills, I guess.

What the hell, Jones?

You disgust me, Julian.

People like you make
my stomach churn.

You're rich. You're entitled.

You strut around the
world like you own it.

And then you take advantage of
people like my friend, Ethel.

So you're going to do the right
thing for once in your life.

Julian gave a statement.

Ethel's free to go, right?

Yeah. She's no longer
an active suspect.

Though an adult is gonna
need to sign her out.

The Coopers are on their way.
They've agreed to take her in again.

My compatibility test,

or, uh, Cupid's checklist,

shall we say, consists
of only three questions.

First question.

Do you come from
similar backgrounds?

The Blossoms are descended from
European barons and baronesses.

Um, my dad used to talk about

how Grandpa Artie and his wife
barely survived the Dust Bowl.

Very good.

Second question.

Are you close friends?

Um...

You know, I pride myself on getting
along with pretty much everyone.

Hmm.

Last question.

Do you understand the
concept of marriage?

Uh... Um...

Marriage is not to be
taken lightly, Ms. Blossom.

And you, Mr. Andrews,
you must remain faithful.

It goes against our
nature as men, of course.

But...

a kind word, sympathetic
ear and a home-cooked meal

can go a long way towards
keeping a wandering eye in check.

Have I clarified things?

Well, that is such a relief
to hear, Dr. Werthers.

Mrs. Andrews and I are elated.

Yes, we'll talk soon.

My best to Myrna.

The most wonderful
news, Mary, dear.

The children are compatible.

Well, frankly, I'm surprised.

You know, Archie and
Cheryl are so different.

Well, they both have that
glorious red hair, don't they?

Hey, Fangs. How's it hanging?

Not well, Toni.

Midge thinks that she
might be in trouble.

Oh, jeez.

Are you sure?

Not 100%, but,
yeah, pretty sure.

Okay, well, first things first.

We need to confirm that
Midge is, in fact, pregnant.

Here's what we're going to do.

You, me and Midge
are going to meet

at the biology lab at
school tonight at midnight.

That'll give me enough time to gather the
supplies we need to make our own test.

Can you dig it?

Big Daddy?

Kev, can we talk?

I went to the Dark
Room last night,

and I saw you and Clay there.

Yeah, I don't know
what you think you saw,

but Clay and I were
just kidding around.

No. No, you weren't.

How long have you and Clay...

Last night was the first time.

After you broke up with me,
I went to the gym and...

just was bawling
my eyes out and...

Clay was in the locker room

and he just heard me, and he
came and just talked to me and...

I'm sorry.

I know this must be throwing you
for a loop, but just believe me.

If I had known what...

I... I was, I wouldn't
have wasted your time.

I'm not going to pretend that
I understand most of this.

But our relationship
was not a waste of time.

At least not to me.

Well, I guess it's happening.

Mr. and Mrs. Andrews.

So, it seems.

Cheryl, are you... Are you sure you
really wanna go through with this?

Would it really be that bad?

To be married to you?

No. Oh, heck, no.

I just... I wanna get
to know you better.

And through that process, maybe
I'll get to know myself better too.

I think it's easy to
figure out your path

when someone's
walking alongside you.

Word around school is you wrote
Veronica a beautiful love poem.

Maybe you could find it in
your heart to write one for me.

Yeah, yeah. Sure I can.

To small victories.

Hear, hear!

Though Ethel's not out
of the woods just yet.

No, but she's in a better place
than she was two hours ago.

We make a good team, Nick.

Yes, we do, Nora.

So, after dinner,

what do you think
about walking me home?

Oh, shucks...

I was actually planning
on staying here tonight.

At the diner?

Why?

Sheriff Keller and his goon
squad trashed my train car.

Oh.

Well...

do you want to stay
at the Pembrooke?

No, no. I'm... I'm
allergic to silk sheets.

You're in luck, then.

Because we only have sheets made

from the finest Egyptian cotton.

Well, I wouldn't
wanna crowd you.

Please. There's an entire
wing of the apartment

I haven't even set foot in.

Really, I insist.

I'm confused, Toni.

How will any of this stuff tell
us whether or not I'm pregnant?

It's a simple process.

I'm going to inject some of
your pee into our friend here.

And if you're pregnant,
it's gonna cause

a chemical reaction in the frog,
causing it to lay eggs overnight.

Will it hurt the frog?

No, it's quick and painless.

Promise.

Okay, I got Midge's pee
in a cup in a bag here.

So why don't you two just wait
outside and I'll be out in a jiffy?

Well, Midge, you're
definitely preggers.

There's like, 400-500
eggs in there.

Oh, my God.

All right. Fangs,
Midge, listen up.

Do you two love each other?

- Yeah, we do.
- Completely.

All right. Fangs, you're going
to have to clean yourself up.

Wash the grease
out of your hair,

put on a button-up shirt

and go ask the Klumps for
Midge's hand in marriage.

I'd do anything for Midge.

But no way will her folks
give us their blessing.

Well, you're gonna
at least have to try.

And maybe they'll surprise you.

But, I wouldn't tell them that Midge
has a bun in the oven just yet.

Good morning. What's all this?

Well, I woke up early.
I figured I'd make you

a little breakfast as
a show of gratitude.

Little?

My typical breakfast consists of half
a grapefruit and a cup of coffee.

I feel like I'm at the Polo
Lounge having Sunday brunch.

How did you sleep? Were
the sheets to your liking?

I slept like a log.

But I'll admit, I do feel a bit
like Little Orphan Annie in here.

Which makes me,
who? Daddy Warbucks?

Should we walk to
school together?

I'm skipping school today.

I have to go to the
pound and spring Hot Dog.

And then I have to
fix up my train car.

Well then, I'll skip too.

Why don't you focus
on getting Hot Dog

and I'll focus on sprucing
up your train car?

Wait a minute.

You and Cheryl didn't
go all the way?

But now you two are
getting married?

I know. It's confusing.

It's lunacy, Arch.

Why don't you just tell
your mom the truth,

so you don't have
to do any of this?

Cheryl's in trouble, Betty.

And I want to protect her.

And it's weird to say,
but if I can save her

from something, it
might help me...

I don't know.

Figure out my purpose in life.

But do you love her?

I could.

I mean, according
to Dr. Werthers,

love grows over time.
He showed us a graph.

It starts when you're 17
and it peaks when you're 21.

I mean, that's when you
really start loving someone.

Arch, there's a difference between
saving someone and loving someone.

What if the love never grows?

Archie. My father has requested
a sit-down with us after school.

I trust you can accommodate him.

- I'll be there.
- Wunderbar.

I'll let him know.

Betty.

You're a wonderful guy, Arch.

And it's really sweet that
you wanna help Cheryl.

But marriage is forever.

It's the rest of your life.

So very happy to hear that you
passed Dr. Werthers' evaluation.

I suppose you're both
wondering what happens next.

Well, we were thinking of a
small ceremony at Niagara Falls.

Don't be asinine, Cheryl.

You're going to be married
by a judge at Thornhill.

And I will set Archie up with a
part-time job at the Naval factory.

And you'll both graduate
high school, of course.

And college as well.

That's a waste of
time and money.

After high school, you,
Archie, will enter into

the Blossom Management
Training program.

And once that's completed,
we'll start you on full-time.

Cheryl will help her
mother manage Thornhill,

eventually learning how
to run the estate herself.

Why? It's not as if
we're gonna live here.

Certainly you will.

Where else are you gonna live?

Well, Cheryl and I haven't
talked about it yet, sir,

but I was thinking we could
move into my parent's house.

Cheryl? In that hovel?

Wow!

I barely even
recognized you, Fangs.

How did it go with the Klumps?

It went horrible.

They had a conniption.

Forbade me from ever
seeing Midge again.

Yeah, I was afraid
that was gonna happen.

Midge is rich.

She's white, her
parents love her.

And on top of it all, you're
a greaser wannabe rockstar.

Oh, jeez.

What do I do, Toni?

You do exactly what
the Klumps say.

Stay away from Midge.

They don't know she's pregnant.

You got four months
before she starts to show.

Which means we have four
months to make you into

a Ritchie Valens-type rock star.

Huh?

Once you become rich and famous and
undeniable, you'll re-propose to Midge

and they'll have no choice but
to give you their blessing.

You're in love.

Like a Romeo and
Juliet kind of love.

No matter what, you and
Midge will be together.

Well, do you fellas approve?

Wow! You really are
like Daddy Warbucks.

I consulted with some of my
set decorator friends out West.

I could have done more,
but time was very limited.

Are you kidding?

It's like the Orient Express.

Without the murder, of course.

Of course.

You know, Jughead,
you and Hot Dog

are more than welcome to
stay at the Pembrooke.

Um, golly, uh...

I appreciate the offer. I'm
just a creature of habit.

As is Hot Dog.

But thank you for
everything. This is... Gosh.

My pleasure.

All right. Well, I will
leave you boys to it.

Bye.

Do you wanna explain this to me?

What were you doing in my room?

Cleaning it.

Now tell me, why do
you have this book?

I was reading it, Mom.

To try to make some
sense of my life,

since everything that you tell
me is backwards and nonsensical.

Watch your tone, little miss.

A girl your age should
not be reading this filth.

Well, then when, Mom?

And it's not filth.
It's just the truth.

Where did you even find this?

It's mine.

It was at my house. That's where
Betty found it, Mrs. Cooper.

I ordered it from a
catalog through the mail.

Oh, Ethel. Why am
I not surprised?

It doesn't matter
where I got it.

And I'm not done reading it yet.

Betty. Young lady!

Cheryl, I can't go
through with it.

After that crazy
talk with your dad,

this whole plan is suddenly
feeling really wrong to me.

I understand, Archie.

I do.

I demanded too much of you.

Asking you to lie, to marry
into my life, my family.

That's my cross, and my
cross alone, to bear.

No, no, but it
doesn't have to be.

Because, I have another
plan, Cheryl. A better one.

What do you mean?

What if we elope?

Go out West.

You could get away
from your family.

I could get a job on a ranch.

Or be, I don't
know... A folk singer?

- A what?
- A folk singer.

All I'm saying is, out West,

we can find ourselves.
Be whoever we want to be.

Imagine it, Cheryl.

You'd be free from whatever's
weighing you down here.

If only it were that easy.

It can be.

We just have to do it.

Okay.

Okay, let's try, Archie.

I read more of my book, Kev.

Including Chapter 20,
about men like you.

And I wanted to say that
I think you're so brave.

Swell to the last.

And here's your pin back.

I thought maybe you
could give it to Clay.

That's not mine.
It's your mom's.

What are you talking about?

When we were having our
troubles, she gave it to me

to give to you to take the
pressure off of our relationship.

You went to my mom for advice?

No, she... She
reached out to me.

I hope that's okay.

Toni Topaz.

What are the odds? I was actually
just about to come find you.

To say goodbye?

You can't do it, Cheryl.

Running away with Archie
would be a huge mistake.

You don't understand
my situation.

You think you can run away
from Riverdale, your family.

But you can't outrun yourself.

Who you are.

What makes you think you know
me better than I know myself?

I was you.

Do you love him?

Archie...

Archie is a great person.

With the best heart.

And he's nothing
like my family. So...

I see.

So you hop on a bus with a boy
and move across the country.

But...

eventually, you're gonna
have to look at yourself

in the mirror and face
who you really are.

Otherwise, you'll
just wither away.

Mom, where's Ethel?

Why, she's gone, dear.

Gone? Gone where?

I called my friend Janet
at Social Services,

and she thought it would be best

that we send Ethel to The
Sisters of Quiet Mercy.

Mom, the nuns there are bonkers.

They do experiments on people.

They do not, Elizabeth.

That rumor has been debunked.

It's what's best for Ethel.

Trust me. I know I'm
right about this.

Is that what you said to Kevin
when you told him to pin me?

What on earth are
you talking about?

Did you give this to Kevin and
tell him to pin me, Mother?

To settle me and my urges down?

I may have given some
advice in passing.

Oh, come off it, Mom.

What are you so afraid of?

Is it... Is it Ethel?
Is it that book?

Is it me? What is it?

You know, I'm here
to protect you

from dangers that you don't
even know are coming your way.

But one day you will, and
you'll thank me for it.

I really doubt it.

I burned it.

Your sex book.

So you won't be reading it
under the covers anymore.

Wait, I got us bus tickets.

Or, are we taking your
convertible instead?

I'm so sorry, Archie, but...

I can't go out West with you.

This has been the most
beautiful pipe dream with

the most wonderful guy a
girl could ever ask for.

But that's all
it is. A fantasy.

You've been a true gentleman,
but I have to face the music.

I can't keep running
from all my problems.

At least, not this one.

- Cheryl...
- Archie, someday you are going

to make some girl very happy,

and she is going to want to
go with you to California.

Unfortunately...

that girl isn't me.

But maybe, she lives
right next door to you.

- You mean...
- Maybe you should write Betty

one of those sweet
poems of yours.

Cheryl.

Shouldn't you be halfway
to Frisco by now?

I decided not to leave with
Archie, for many reasons.

Oh, yeah?

I don't know where
I go from here.

Well, why don't you start
by reading this book?

See if anything in it
resonates with you.

Will you do that?

Not for me, but...

for yourself.

Archie, can you come in
here for a minute, please?

Uncle Frank.

What are you doing here?

Your mom called.

Caught me up on everything.

Sounded like I needed to come
to town to knock some heads...

starting with yours.

All I know is what
they've told me,

that Ethel was
staying at some home

for wayward children
with a bunch of nuns.

Called The Sisters
of Quiet Mercy.

Are you okay?

No.

No, I feel like I failed her.

That I failed Ethel.

You didn't.

You fought hard to save
her, Jughead, and you did.

You did save her.

Wowie.

You can say that again.