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1
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2
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,320
This walk is exactly
what you need.
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00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:21,000
You've been coiled up like a spring.
I don't even know who you are anymore.
4
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,200
It's a big meeting, I'd think
you'd be a little nervous.
5
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:26,920
I don't get nervous, Dan. I get excited.
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Please don't tell the story.
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You're a people person,
Charlie, that's wonderful,
8
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but in business meetings you tell
personal items from my life,
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- and it embarrasses me.
- Girls, girls, girls!
10
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:39,200
Hey! Ten miles!
11
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,360
I'm sorry, Lucky.
12
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,120
I think he's too old for sprints.
I can hear his legs clicking.
13
00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:46,600
Those are my knees.
14
00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:49,280
Do you really think I tell
that story for my own amusement?
15
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,280
I do it because it's a sales tool.
16
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:53,240
Charlie, let's win this account
on our pitch.
17
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,040
It's sports marketing.
You need an edge.
18
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,560
- I don't want to be the edge.
- Hey, mister! Little help!
19
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,400
Sure thing, guys!
20
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,160
Whoa!
21
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,360
- Ow!
- Oh! Oh! Oh!
22
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,280
- Why did you do that?
- My bad! Sorry!
23
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:11,000
- I didn't mean to.
- You're a monster!
24
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,640
I'm sorry!
25
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,360
You're allergic to anything
under four feet. You're a mess.
26
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,880
- Promise you won't tell the story.
- Fine. I won't tell the story.
27
00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:20,760
OK, you guys want to hear
the greatest Dan Rayburn story ever?
28
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,800
- No, don't.
- Please. Come on, Danny.
29
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,680
All right. Seven years ago,
Dan's divorce had just come through
30
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,840
and his ex-wife had
left his heart in tatters.
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00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,520
And his bank account drained.
Tell them that.
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00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:33,040
He was taking it pretty well.
33
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,520
That's good.
You're taking it like a man!
34
00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:39,120
Stiff upper lip! Getting smart!
35
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:41,440
- What?
- Oh, God!
36
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:45,120
/People say I saved
/my partner's life that day.
37
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,320
So many people get divorced.
38
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,480
And neither one of you wanted kids.
Now that seems like a stroke of genius!
39
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,680
But that didn't console him.
I had to act. I had to do something.
40
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:57,040
Mr. Good Time is going to
teach you how to live! Yeah!
41
00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:01,760
- Why are there two pieces of luggage?
- Oh, just a little jaunt.
42
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,040
Nothing too wild.
43
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,800
Hey, Mr. Good Times.
You said we'd come to Miami, we did.
44
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:09,880
Can we go home now?
45
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,680
Whoa!
46
00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:13,120
- Whoa.
- Yeah!
47
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:14,680
Does this drink
come with a diving board?
48
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,880
It's insane! Just a sip, I think.
49
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:19,440
So as a best friend, I felt compelled
50
00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:22,720
to give him a gentle reminder
of what it was like to be free.
51
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,280
- I want it to say: "free man!"
- Free man.
52
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:26,680
Big letters, right across his chest.
53
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,520
"Free man!" Comprende?
54
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:33,160
Oh. Good night, nurse.
55
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,280
/I could have sworn
/that guy spoke English.
56
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:39,520
It was supposed to say "free man."
57
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,880
Fremont, Fremont, Fremont...
58
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,520
Free man!
59
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:52,520
It's funny, guys.
Come on. They love it.
60
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,080
Then the unexpected happened.
61
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:57,440
Look at all the babes.
Don't look, don't look. Now look.
62
00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:59,520
/Fourteen hours after
/signing his divorce papers,
63
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,080
/Dan met Vicki, the girl of his dreams.
64
00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:03,760
- Whoa!
- Whoa.
65
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,200
Girl in white,
eleven o'clock.
66
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,640
- Yeah, but...
- Oh, give her the Queen's wave.
67
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:10,000
- No, the other Queen.
- Oh. Hello.
68
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,640
/She was traveling
/with a friend.
69
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,320
/I thought maybe the friend
/was a magician or a jazz dancer,
70
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:15,840
/because of the way
/she was moving her hands.
71
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,680
Turns out she's a hand model.
72
00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:19,920
- ... hand model.
- A hand model?
73
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:22,680
They model with their hands.
74
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,760
So, within minutes,
Dan is back to his old self.
75
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:28,080
No, scratch that.
He's better than his old self.
76
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,520
Charlie, look at these pictures!
77
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:32,160
My whole life I've never taken
a good picture.
78
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,040
/No matter how
/they toss the dice, it had to be
79
00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:36,400
/I'd never seen him
/so free, OK?
80
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:40,800
/I mean, so impulsive.
/He was a changed man.
81
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,960
/Or maybe not so changed.
82
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,840
/It's hard to explain to a guy
/who's never had an impulsive moment
83
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,240
/in his life there's
/two kinds of impulsives.
84
00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:52,480
The good kind, OK,
but this is plain stupid!
85
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:56,040
That was so romantic.
86
00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:01,600
But when he woke up, he remembered,
"I was just married 14 painful years
87
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,520
- and I've gone and done it again!"
- Whoops.
88
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:09,240
To a woman that
he barely knows. His "soul mate."
89
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:13,800
...soul mate.
- Soul mate!
90
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:17,560
Soul mate!
91
00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:24,360
They never laugh this much.
92
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:27,800
So, a few hours later,
my buddy here, my hombre,
93
00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:31,520
is the only guy I know that's been
divorced twice in a 24-hour period.
94
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:35,400
Now, that's a true story.
95
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:39,800
Fremont! Fremont! Fremont!
96
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:46,520
- It was supposed to say "free man."
- But it didn't. It said "Fremont."
97
00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:48,960
It's a big mistake.
It's on his chest forever.
98
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:54,320
I don't really think that story
honors the feelings I had for her.
99
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,040
No, I'm sorry.
Dan, people love that story.
100
00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:01,120
So just get up there and do
your thing. Because I killed.
101
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,240
/Banzai!
102
00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:04,480
Ixnay on the banzai.
103
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,240
Nishamura Media Group
104
00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:09,240
entering the US sports market
is a huge deal.
105
00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:11,840
Now, I know you've met
with larger groups,
106
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:16,320
but I'm about to show you
why working with a boutique firm
107
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:21,760
run by two seasoned pros
is a smart move for you.
108
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,200
Forty-seven million dollars
over five years.
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00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,640
Man, you better shape up
on your Japanese,
110
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,120
'cause you're going to Tokyo, baby!
111
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,680
Thank you. This is the kind of
opportunity I've been looking for.
112
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:34,080
And you will not be sorry.
In college my nickname was "GT."
113
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:37,840
- That's "Go To." You go to me.
- What's the matter with you?
114
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:40,480
Biggest deal of our lives
isn't exciting enough for you?
115
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,480
So it's a done deal now?
There are a few small details.
116
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:45,080
Like next week when Nishamura
and his son come to town
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00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:46,520
we have to win them over
on the golf course.
118
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:47,960
- That'll be easy.
- I'm great at golf.
119
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,120
Then, two weeks from now,
we have to make a presentation
120
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,240
- to their executive board of directors.
- Done.
121
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,600
All right, sunshine.
What's really wrong with you?
122
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,720
I was not divorced twice, OK?
123
00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,440
One of them was an annulment.
124
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,920
- Look at that face!
- Charlie, don't!
125
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,760
Look at this, Craig.
You know what this face is?
126
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,720
- The face of a winner.
- This face is willing to hibernate
127
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,480
for six months to make the
best deal he could possibly make.
128
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:12,000
And I don't care who knows it. A toast
to my best buddy and business partner,
129
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:13,760
- Dan Rayburn! Whoo!
- Whoo!
130
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,400
/Arigato!
131
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:23,760
It all comes down to this.
132
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,200
- I don't think so.
- Three, two, one.
133
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:26,760
This one's the shooter.
134
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,600
- Let's see it.
- Golden moment.
135
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:30,960
- Oh. Uh-oh!
- Oh, you're just sinkin' em.
136
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,720
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh.
137
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,720
Let's hit it. There you go.
138
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,160
- It's a leaking dog.
- Yeah.
139
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:39,840
That's a... That's a neat trick.
How old is that dog?
140
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,240
I lost count. Vet said it was a record.
141
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:45,920
You might want to put
a diaper on him, or underwear.
142
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,640
- Yo.
- Hey. Where you been?
143
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:51,120
Japanese real estate agents.
Some apartments for Craig-san.
144
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,120
Thank you. I just want to find
something authentic.
145
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,120
I've been getting so immersed
in Japanese culture,
146
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,520
by the time I hit Tokyo, they're
going to think I'm part Japanese.
147
00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:59,640
They'll be like, "Who is this local?"
148
00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:03,200
I don't care if you stay on the top
of Mount Fuji. Just bring home the yen.
149
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:06,760
- This can't be.
- What do you got?
150
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,440
- Vicki.
- Vicki who?
151
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,560
South Beach Vicki? She's in town.
152
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:15,400
- She wants to see me. Today.
- She just called you out of the blue?
153
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,240
- No.
- Dan? Dan?
154
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:19,960
You know last Christmas
when I moved in to the condo?
155
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,400
I was feeling really lonely.
156
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,640
And maybe I wrote a seven-to-ten-page
single-spaced letter.
157
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:26,840
Oh, Dan.
158
00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:28,800
You've been using your feelings
for this woman
159
00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:30,240
to avoid your life for seven years.
160
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:34,240
I set you up in the most exclusive
adult-only condo.
161
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:35,680
You've never been to theme nights.
162
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:38,560
You never once went to the
Sunday morning schmooze and schmeer.
163
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,720
You know, maybe she hasn't
moved on either.
164
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,200
- Well, you can't do it.
- Why?
165
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,320
Because we're in the middle
of our biggest deal ever,
166
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:45,400
and you don't have the time.
167
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:48,480
She lives in Vermont. It's perfect.
Start of a long-distance relationship.
168
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,720
You get six to nine months
of the spa weekends,
169
00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:53,120
late-night phone calls.
I'd still have my days free to work.
170
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:54,760
She wants to meet me
at Grand Central Station,
171
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,120
and I don't know what
I'm supposed to wear.
172
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,560
It's not formal, obviously,
it's a train station,
173
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,920
but do I wear a sport coat,
or coat and tie...
174
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,760
You can wear a sports coat,
but you're not going like that.
175
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:06,800
- Why?
- 'Cause you look like an albino.
176
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:10,600
This is his first time, so you can see
his complexion is ghost-like.
177
00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,880
- What do you think of the El Tropical?
- Perfect beginner's tan.
178
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,520
- Oh, great.
- Yeah. Let's go!
179
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:16,000
- You all set?
- Oh, yeah.
180
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:20,760
- I'm ready. Alrighty, let's do this.
- Um... so...
181
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:24,280
Face forward, press the red button,
spray lasts ten seconds.
182
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:27,760
Keep your eyes closed and call me
on the intercom when you're done.
183
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,960
OK.
184
00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:35,280
Eyes closed. She wanted a golden god,
she's going to get one.
185
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,280
Whoa, um...
186
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,520
HAL?
187
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:43,200
I definitely think that the tan line
accentuates the look, don't you?
188
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:44,760
- Uh-huh. Sexy.
- Mmm.
189
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:48,240
I'm gonna start now.
190
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,760
Whoa!
191
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,160
One... Whoa!
192
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:08,000
Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.
193
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:11,720
Seven. Eight. Nine. OK!
194
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,200
Hello!
195
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,040
I'm finished!
196
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:20,560
Be there in a sec.
197
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,280
So, do you, like, really know Shaq?
198
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:28,400
- Whose numbers are those?
- Oh, my gosh.
199
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:32,440
We have a problem here!
200
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:36,560
- Shaq! Yeah, Charlie.
- It's not turning off!
201
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:39,360
- Tell him your name.
- Shaq? Hi, it's Kelly.
202
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:40,560
Anybody out there?
203
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,800
Do you remember me?
I went to one of your games.
204
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:43,840
Help!
205
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,000
Yeah. I don't know who
you were playing against, but...
206
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,120
I have an emergency here!
207
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,520
/Help!
208
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,760
Just relax. Be there in a sec.
209
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,200
Help!
210
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:59,320
- A tanning emergency?
- Newbies.
211
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:02,080
Keep the heat kind of medium...
212
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:06,800
Throw a little bit of butter, and...
213
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,320
/Westbound local
/now arriving on track two.
214
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:28,560
/Westbound local now arriving.
215
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,880
I'm from Hoboken.
216
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,720
What am I, the United Nations?
This is crazy.
217
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,840
Look, Mom,
it's an Oompa-Loompa.
218
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,000
I'm an Oompa-Loompa. I can't do this!
219
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:52,560
- Excuse me...
- Dan?
220
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:54,960
Vicki?
221
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,880
- Wow!
- Hey!
222
00:12:57,920 --> 00:12:59,800
- I mean, hi!
- Hi.
223
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,560
Look at you! You're so tan.
224
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,880
Yeah. Yeah.
225
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:08,320
Boca. Volleyball, and...
Look at you. You're hot!
226
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,000
- Thanks, Tan.
- Dan.
227
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:13,840
- I mean, Dan.
- I'm Tan Dan.
228
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,760
I got us a table upstairs.
229
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:20,000
- Let's eat. Yeah.
- Shall we?
230
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:25,880
- Thank you.
- Oh!
231
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:33,360
I really don't know where to start, Dan.
But...
232
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:34,880
I need to share it with...
233
00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:39,000
Stop... in the name of love.
234
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:43,120
Look, seven years ago,
we made magic happen.
235
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,160
But it was bad timing.
236
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:50,080
Now, we'll take it super slow,
there'll be no outside distractions.
237
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:53,360
Just us. I, um...
238
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:57,440
I'm ready to put these back together.
All I need is your half.
239
00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,200
- I'm going to jail.
- What?
240
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,520
Tomorrow. Two weeks for trespassing.
241
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:03,880
- Why?
- A chemical company wanted
242
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:07,040
to build a plant that would've
drained into a stream near my house.
243
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,880
So I kind of chained myself
to a bulldozer
244
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,360
and burned the blueprints to the plant.
245
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,200
Look at you.
You're a political activist.
246
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,240
Well, I had ulterior motives.
247
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,080
- You're... Career politician?
- My kids.
248
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:22,200
Zach and Emily play near that stream.
249
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:23,760
Kids.
250
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,400
You know, I just never thought that...
251
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:30,240
You... you'd be attached. But...
252
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:33,000
Actually, I'm a single mom.
253
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,560
You kidder!
254
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,800
- Twins!
- Ouch!
255
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:40,520
Yeah. They think I'm going
to a spa named Westford Farms.
256
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,440
Whoops!
257
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,280
You remember my best friend,
Jenna, from South Beach.
258
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,000
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, the hand model.
259
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,320
They're staying with her.
She's like family.
260
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:51,800
You got so much going on, girl.
It just blows my mind.
261
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:54,520
That's good, because there's
one other small detail.
262
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:58,160
- What is it?
- Daddy!
263
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,360
You guys weren't supposed
to be back for 45 minutes!
264
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:04,960
I'm... Da... Da...
265
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:09,680
Oh! Hey, look who's panicking again.
266
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,080
He does not look good.
I'm calling the paramedics.
267
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,880
No! I'm OK.
268
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:25,920
Guys, would you give us
a minute? Please.
269
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:39,720
Dan, I got your letter six months ago,
and I won't lie, it threw me for a loop.
270
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:43,000
I was completely ready to go it alone.
271
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,440
But here was this...
272
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:51,360
...12-page, single-spaced letter
from the father of my kids,
273
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:54,840
and suddenly
I had to ask if I was being selfish.
274
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,560
Then three weeks ago,
we were in Friday's for dinner,
275
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,840
and Zach had to go to the bathroom,
and as I was taking him
276
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:03,240
to the ladies' room
for the umpteenth time...
277
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,760
...I realized, he's never
even been in a men's room.
278
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:10,080
- Really?
- My kids are seven. They have a father.
279
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:14,440
So I thought, maybe it's time
they got to know who he is.
280
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:21,680
I have to confess, I've always been
a little awkward around children.
281
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:25,280
But I guess, if they're your own,
it's a different ballgame.
282
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:29,360
Well, we got a few hours to kill
while Jenna goes out on a hand audition.
283
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,440
- Let's find out.
- OK.
284
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:36,880
But first, what do you say
we get rid of that ridiculous tan?
285
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,680
I know a few family secrets.
286
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:40,800
- You don't like it?
- I'm sorry, do you like it?
287
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,520
- Not at all.
- OK.
288
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,880
- How's your face feel?
- Oh, pretty much everything.
289
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,080
- Come on, Dad!
- Oh, no.
290
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,520
Not the spinning one.
That's a recipe for disaster.
291
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,000
Hey, Dad? Want to see my
Five Favorite Food lists?
292
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:55,360
Oh, I'd love to, Z. Thanks.
293
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,760
- Zach likes to make lists.
- I love lists.
294
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,920
- Hot wings and milkshakes.
- Chocolate?
295
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,520
Oh, no, it gives me diarrhea.
296
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:05,560
I mean, stomach problems
and frequent gas-spasms.
297
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,360
- Oh.
- I have to go to the bathroom.
298
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:08,480
Oh, OK.
299
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,160
Hang on. Can you watch Emily?
300
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:13,240
- Sure.
- I want to go to the men's room.
301
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:15,360
With me?
302
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,560
OK.
303
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,880
You're pretty old. How come
you don't have any other kids?
304
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,680
Well, um...
305
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,480
Initially, it was kind of a...
306
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:33,880
You do know where kids
come from, right?
307
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:38,280
- Yeah, sure.
- Can you tell me?
308
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,080
Well, um...
309
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:47,120
In nature, the male and
the female of the species, uh,
310
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:51,840
in what some have called the
"dance of springtime," you know...
311
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:55,120
It's complicated.
312
00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:00,280
Do I just stand here?
313
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,080
My mom usually waits outside.
314
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:06,720
I'll bet she does. I'm out of here.
315
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,440
OK.
316
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:15,160
- Ooh! You're early.
- Hi, hon!
317
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,160
I can do my hand cream later. Hi!
318
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,560
- Hi, Aunt Jenna!
- Hi.
319
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:22,280
Hi, Zach. Hello, Emily!
320
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,920
I booked it!
321
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:28,240
- I gotta go potty.
- All right. Lemonade inside!
322
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:29,720
- OK, I got them.
- I got the bags.
323
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,720
- No, no, it's all right...
- No, please.
324
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,080
Oh!
325
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:36,280
Oh, no! I got it.
326
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,760
OK, I got it.
327
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:41,440
No, wait. No, please don't.
328
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,680
- Oh, my God.
- Breathe! Breathe!
329
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,400
Oh, sorry!
330
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,120
Oh...
331
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,320
She's gonna be fine. She's a fighter.
332
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:59,960
She looks good. You look good, hon.
333
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:06,160
Can you hand me my cell phone?
I have to call my agent.
334
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:10,400
All right. Here we go. Here it is, hon.
335
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,960
- Do you want help?
- No, no.
336
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,800
I'm going to give you a minute.
337
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,760
I'm so sorry.
338
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:25,440
Oh, God! What am I gonna do?
339
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,720
Come on, you're a great gal. You must
have plenty of friends you could call.
340
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,200
That I could trust
with my kids for two weeks?
341
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:35,040
This is a disaster!
I don't have anybody else!
342
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,080
That's not true.
No, no. You have me.
343
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:42,400
I'll do it. I'll take the kids.
344
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:46,320
I'll do it.
345
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,760
- I will.
- Really?
346
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,400
Oh, yeah.
347
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:53,280
Hey, yeah, see?
348
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:57,920
This is good.
This is a good thing.
349
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:05,640
- Do you know anybody else?
- No, just me.
350
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,680
And then suddenly,
you're supposed to take care of twins
351
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:12,080
when we have the biggest deal ever?
Aw, Dan!
352
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:15,440
I put their aunt in a halo for a month!
What am I supposed to do?
353
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,440
You're supposed to give them back!
They got 24 hours!
354
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,360
- They'll find another baby-sitter!
- I can't give them back!
355
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,600
They're my kids. It's not like puppies.
"Take them back."
356
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,680
- Let's break it down. It's two weeks.
- OK.
357
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,600
- Yeah.
- All right, let's see. We got, uh...
358
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,360
They sleep 10, 12 hours, right, a day?
359
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,960
- If you're lucky.
- You've got TV.
360
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,320
You've got bathroom time.
You give them a lot of timeouts.
361
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:33,320
You know what?
362
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:35,760
You're looking at about 90 minutes
of being a dad a day.
363
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,040
Ninety minutes?
364
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:38,840
It's a run-out-the-clock
situation, that's all.
365
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,320
- It's not sudden death.
- You'll be fine.
366
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:43,440
- Ha! We can do this.
- "We?" No, no.
367
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,240
You are on Planet Dan now, baby.
368
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,640
I'm down here on Earth,
just cheering you on.
369
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:52,440
You started this, remember? You're
the one who took me down to Florida.
370
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,160
"Mr. Feel-good" is gonna
teach me how to live.
371
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:58,560
I wasn't alone then,
I'm not gonna be alone now, OK?
372
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:02,240
So, tomorrow morning, 7:30, I want you
outside your apartment ready to go.
373
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,560
Because if I'm going to be
an old dad for two weeks,
374
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:08,440
you're going to be "Uncle Charlie."
375
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:13,600
Well, I don't want to
take care of the kids!
376
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,600
For both of them, I've packed
enough clothes for every occasion.
377
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,200
- That everything?
- Yeah.
378
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,640
I can't believe I'm doing this.
379
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,840
Me, too.
380
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,240
Here's the number for
the poison control center.
381
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,200
- Poison control?
- Do you need a list of poisons?
382
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,000
No, I think most of them I know.
383
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,600
I should have compiled a list
of commonly ingested poisons!
384
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,880
I'm not going to poison our
children. They're in safe hands.
385
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:34,280
- Have you ever been to a casino?
- No.
386
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:36,080
- Have you ever seen the movie Casino?
- No.
387
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:39,040
OK, there are only pay phones
in the common room,
388
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,640
so I will call you on your cell phone.
389
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,360
- OK.
- And no baby-sitters.
390
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,240
Please, Dan.
They've gone seven years without a dad.
391
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,120
Promise me you will not
leave them with strangers.
392
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,440
- No strangers. Check.
- Dan! Vicki!
393
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:53,040
The kids have never seen
/Friday the 13th, part one or two!
394
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,000
- Oh, my God!
- He's kidding. He's a kidder.
395
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,960
He was scared of
/The Wizard of Oz. He's kidding.
396
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,480
The monkeys got him nuts.
397
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,680
- Oh, and one more thing.
- I'm up for it.
398
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:05,600
Well, Emily has kind of concocted
this idea that you're a superhero.
399
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:07,120
Oh. Why?
400
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,240
Well, it was her way of
explaining where you were,
401
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,000
and it seemed harmless enough to me.
402
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,600
- What are my powers?
- You can stop bullets and you can fly.
403
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,160
- Bulletproof and flying.
- One... Two... Three!
404
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,560
- Ooh!
- Whoa!
405
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,840
- Oh, gosh, I gotta go.
- OK.
406
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:23,920
I'm going to miss them so much.
407
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,640
OK...
408
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,360
Promise me...
409
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:31,320
You will devote every ounce of
your being to taking care of them, Dan.
410
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:32,600
I promise.
411
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:36,560
- Promise me.
- I promise.
412
00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:41,520
- So, you're not a superhero?
- Not at the present time.
413
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,640
Want to pick up the pace, Chachi?
We just got passed by a street sweeper.
414
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,360
How about putting it in drive, grandma?
415
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:51,600
There are babies on board!
Excuse me, kids.
416
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,440
Ooh... Who's up for
chocolate chip pancakes?
417
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,920
- Me! Me!
- No chocolate chips for breakfast.
418
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,440
- Why not?
- Kids crave limits. It's in the books.
419
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:08,760
Hey everybody, let's kick this off
with some really healthy choices.
420
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:10,160
How about the heartland granola?
421
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,600
That's like nature's broom!
That's kind of wonderful.
422
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:14,640
Hey! Whoa!
423
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,000
- Sorry.
- It's OK, Zach.
424
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:18,800
- Here you go.
- It's an accident.
425
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,920
That kind of thing happens.
You have nothing to worry about.
426
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,040
- Hi there. How are you?
- Hi.
427
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,600
- Good.
- Well, hello.
428
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,240
- What's your name?
- Rochelle.
429
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:31,160
Oh, Rochelle.
430
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:35,640
Well, I didn't know they could
afford to hire supermodels here.
431
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:38,720
Hey, Pops?
Isn't being a grandparent the best?
432
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:40,480
I'm not a grandparent.
433
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:44,160
My grandkids call me "Nub-Nub."
What do your grandkids call you?
434
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:45,280
Nub-Nub's good.
435
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:46,360
/Attention, Pamela's diners.
436
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:52,800
We've just been informed we have two
new members to the grandparents' club.
437
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:55,840
/Hey! Seniors, seniors, seniors!
/Enjoy the grand buffet!
438
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,560
/Seniors, seniors, seniors!
/We hope you're here to stay!
439
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,280
/Seniors, seniors, seniors!
/We like to make a fuss!
440
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,640
/Seniors, seniors, seniors,
/every tenth meal is
441
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,120
/On us!
442
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:12,160
/- Seniors, seniors, seniors...
- I'll be right back.
443
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:16,440
Rochelle, Rochelle... I don't know
what happened back there.
444
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:19,200
Just a little too much
excitement for me.
445
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:20,800
Oh, no.
446
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,440
Oh, no, no.
This is just an accident.
447
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,680
Don't worry. It's nothing
to be embarrassed about.
448
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,720
- I'm not embarrassed.
- I'll get you something.
449
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,000
It's a glass of water, that's all.
450
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,960
One glass of water
gets my pump going, too.
451
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,920
Uh-huh. Uh...
452
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,800
Also, please tell them
we are very focused
453
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:42,720
on the golf game with Mr. Nishamura.
454
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,440
Write that on your resume?
"Oh, I pop bubble paper."
455
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:48,800
- Would you handle them?
- We want to Xerox our butts.
456
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:50,800
Will you excuse me for one moment?
457
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:52,880
Get off there. I'm sorry, Dan.
458
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,960
- What are you, a frat boy?
- I got your phone.
459
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,280
- Timeout.
- Ah! Timeout.
460
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,520
- Give that back! Yes.
- Keep-away? Are we doing this?
461
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,880
Toss it to me, Emily!
Toss it to me!
462
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,920
Your Japanese is so terrific.
463
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:07,520
- You speak Japanese?
- Well, no.
464
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,720
But I don't have to speak Japanese
465
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,640
to see how beautiful
you are when you speak it.
466
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:15,680
Don't go out there! Don't go out there!
Come back this way.
467
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:21,160
- Yeah, I'm their favorite uncle.
- How old are they?
468
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:25,320
- How old do you think they are?
- Um...
469
00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:29,560
- Seven?
- Seven! Yeah. You're good.
470
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:34,880
- Fraternal twins?
- Is there any other kind?
471
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:37,600
Oh, jeez. When you're around
kids as much as I am,
472
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,840
you got to develop a sense of humor.
473
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:43,040
- But it's rewarding, too.
- Hmm...
474
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,120
Do you like the beach,
"favorite uncle" Charlie?
475
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,360
Love!
476
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,440
Why don't you come
to Westport on Saturday.
477
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,120
I'm going to meet some friends
at their beach house.
478
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:52,720
You can even bring
your niece and nephew.
479
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:58,440
Well, I just may do that,
"beautiful translator" Amanda.
480
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:00,720
Go camping,
learn how to ride a two-wheeler,
481
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:04,640
my first pro baseball game,
refinish a deck and surfing.
482
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:06,200
That's my Dad List.
483
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:10,000
That sounds great.
Pull up your hoods, OK?
484
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:13,120
- Put these on, all right?
- Why?
485
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,840
Technically, you're not supposed
to be here, let alone living here.
486
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:21,400
But we're going to have
a lot of fun. Let's go.
487
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:25,760
Dan?
488
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,880
Ooh! Betty. Hide! Go, go!
489
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,880
- Dan, is that you?
- Hey, Betty!
490
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:33,600
- Hi! You are looking good.
- You, too, baby.
491
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:36,320
What's all that racket?
492
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:38,600
I don't know. Maybe immigrants.
I'm not sure.
493
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,000
Raccoons, most likely.
494
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,160
No... Oh, my God, I see kids!
495
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:46,800
- No, these are my...
- I see kids!
496
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,520
Why don't you put them in a hotel?
They would love room service.
497
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,120
They'd also love a spa,
but we can't... Don't run! Careful!
498
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,920
- Don't touch that!
- Easy. Slow down! No running!
499
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:57,920
Watch out! A lot of expensive things...
500
00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:59,560
- Are you out of your mind?
- Why?
501
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:00,640
Come on!
502
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,840
Listen. You're the one
that forced me into that place.
503
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,080
- I cajoled you, I cajoled you.
- Don't give me semantics.
504
00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:09,280
Look, they're going upstairs now!
505
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,160
This is my crib, man!
This is where I get down.
506
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,520
This is where I sink the three points.
This is where I throw the TD.
507
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:17,640
This isn't for kids, man.
508
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:20,800
Look, that pool out there,
that's got a 15-foot deep end.
509
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,120
Look at this place! I got
pointy-edged furniture. I got...
510
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,000
Those spears probably
still have poison on them.
511
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:27,760
You don't want them in this house.
512
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:32,560
I do not lead a child-safe life, man!
513
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,120
It is not... not how I roll. You know?
514
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:36,960
Charlie...
515
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,360
- I'm barely treading water here.
- Aw, don't...
516
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:41,840
I don't know these kids very long,
but I'm still their dad.
517
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:45,720
And they need a home. And so do I.
518
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:50,960
Right now,
you're the closest thing we got.
519
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:58,320
Thanks, bro. You're the best.
520
00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:00,960
OK. You went emotional and it paid off.
521
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,840
- Good.
- This time.
522
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,040
OK.
523
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:09,880
Oh, it's Vicki! Kids!
524
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,920
Well, first everybody thought
Dad was our grandpa.
525
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:16,440
/Then he pretty much worked
/the rest of the day.
526
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,440
"Everything is fine."
527
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,960
And he did say he was going to do
the first thing on Zach's Dad List.
528
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,000
That sounds promising. See?
This is gonna be great.
529
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,480
Here's Dad.
530
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:30,520
Hey, Vic. Didn't she sound wonderful?
531
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,800
/- How's everything going?
- I'm OK.
532
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,040
Don't you worry a moment
about how things are going here
533
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:39,080
because everything's going great.
534
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:43,120
OK, you guys... lights out.
535
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:44,960
OK.
536
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,480
Alrighty. There you go.
537
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:52,440
- You have your creature? Good.
- I do.
538
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:56,000
- You OK?
- Mm-hm.
539
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,800
Good night.
540
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:27,360
I just shook my daughter's hand
good night.
541
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,080
I'm no good at this, Charlie.
542
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:32,120
Come on. You're trying.
That's what matters.
543
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:34,600
Thanks.
544
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:40,200
They are cute, though.
545
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:46,600
Yeah. They are when they're
in a... dormant configuration.
546
00:29:56,120 --> 00:30:00,280
Whoo-wee! Look at this, Nick!
547
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,240
- Ready for the other one?
- Don't get drill happy.
548
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:09,920
No, no, no. It's all good.
549
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,200
Hey!
550
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,400
- What are you doing?
- Sir, it's cool.
551
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:19,280
That's Nick and I'm Gary.
We're the childproofers.
552
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,600
- Really?
- I'm going to need access
553
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:24,080
to all your personal drawers and stuff.
554
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:28,480
- Dan! Dan! Did you do this?
- Charlie!
555
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:30,080
- Oh, yeah.
- Did you bring them in?
556
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,480
- Definitely.
- Why?
557
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:33,760
You described this house as being
a dangerous place for kids,
558
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:35,640
so I hired the best
childproofers there are.
559
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,720
The tall guy over there,
he was a civil engineer.
560
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:44,480
What kind of a civil engineer
would be baby-proofing a house?
561
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:47,600
Failed one, sir,
I'm a failed civil engineer.
562
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:51,480
I got a lot of bad road
behind me. Lot of potholes.
563
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,480
That's why I'm going to be extra
vigilant in protecting your children.
564
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,240
They're seven. And they're his kids.
565
00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:58,000
- That's true.
- That's progressive,
566
00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,680
- and I'm all for it.
- Oh, come on!
567
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:03,440
Even I know you do not baby-proof
a house for seven-year-olds.
568
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,560
- Oh!
- What about the 15-foot deep end?
569
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:08,000
Sir, you got a flamethrower
for a fireplace.
570
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,400
- It's a fashion. It's a style.
- The spears?
571
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:12,160
What guy buys poison-tipped spears?
572
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:15,160
A thousand years ago they were poison.
I don't know if they're poison now.
573
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:16,960
You bought those a thousand years ago?
574
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:20,120
- Expect me to believe that?
- You designed this house of horrors.
575
00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:23,200
You brought the kids to this house.
Stop it! Don't eat that.
576
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:24,640
Those are dog treats.
577
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:28,640
Everything tastes like dog food
after that smoked salmon I just had.
578
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,280
You ate the salmon?
579
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:35,760
- That was a gift.
- Yes, it was.
580
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,000
- You guys better pack.
- Pack?
581
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:42,120
- Why are you dressed like that?
- What do we pack for?
582
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,320
Camping.
That's first on my Dad List.
583
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,560
And we're Pioneers, so you
have to find the nearest campground.
584
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:50,640
We have 50 files of Nishamura
work to do before Saturday.
585
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:53,720
Guys, camping...
I don't think we can do it.
586
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:56,000
- But you promised!
- I know I promised,
587
00:31:56,040 --> 00:32:00,040
but I didn't realize camping involved a
camping trip, and we have to reschedule.
588
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,360
- But you promised.
- Sometimes promises
589
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:07,840
- aren't written in stone.
- But you promised!
590
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:28,920
We've been a Pioneer family
for four generations now.
591
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:32,880
I practically grew up in these woods
following Grandpa Ted.
592
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,960
Gramps was troop leader 63 years ago,
593
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,840
and was the recipient of the
supreme Pioneer honor.
594
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:43,640
Interred for eternity...
595
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:49,480
...in a tomb erected with his own hands,
596
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:54,800
right here on this...
on this very campsite.
597
00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:59,040
Not in front of the kids.
598
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:02,160
Hey. Hey. Psst.
599
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:06,960
Hey! You remind me of that
old dude who stole my girlfriend.
600
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:10,000
- What?
- I promised myself...
601
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,120
Yeah, you. You! Mr. Wall-of-Hair.
602
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,640
Rick, you're a counselor here.
This is sacred ground.
603
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:17,200
- Something I got to tell you.
- The Pioneers have meant
604
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:22,480
the world to the Taylor clan.
That's who I am.
605
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:26,240
Troop leader. Patriot. TSA supervisor.
606
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:30,280
And dad. I am Barry Taylor.
607
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:37,440
Gentlemen, why don't we
put down the electronic devices,
608
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:39,480
and try to get into it a little bit?
609
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:44,680
Hmm? After all...
we're here for the kids.
610
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:47,560
Fine.
611
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,040
Sorry.
612
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:57,760
Here for the kids?
What's he talking about?
613
00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:59,960
OK, kids. Who wants to have some fun?
614
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,680
Yeah!
615
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:04,720
Let's go dig a hole.
616
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:06,960
- What's your problem?
- How about we go dig a hole.
617
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,640
He's giving me the stink eye.
618
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:12,400
You thief. I loved her.
I loved her so much.
619
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:14,320
- What are you saying?
- My beef is not with you, old woman.
620
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,600
Thank you.
621
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:21,240
- OK, now I got it.
- He has a lot.
622
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:27,360
Hey, Zach, Emily.
Why don't you get your grandpa
623
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,120
to leave the office...
624
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:31,040
...and come over here
and join us in the woods?
625
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:35,680
He's not our grandpa, he's our dad.
626
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:43,200
Sure, Zach. My grandpa
was like a dad to me, too.
627
00:34:43,240 --> 00:34:47,360
He is, Troop Master Barry.
He's my dad, and that's his partner.
628
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:50,080
- It's like we have two dads!
- Just found out.
629
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:52,480
Trust me. It was a surprise.
630
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,880
- Been together 30 years.
- Feels like 50.
631
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,440
- Oh, well...
- We're soul mates, really.
632
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:01,280
You must have a best buddy.
633
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:04,280
Yeah. A pal?
Someone you can...
634
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,120
- Fine.
- Take care.
635
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:07,680
- Loner.
- Loner.
636
00:35:07,720 --> 00:35:10,880
- Loser!
- Loser.
637
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,480
- No bears allowed.
- Thank you, Troop Master Barry.
638
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:16,680
- Thanks.
- No trouble at all, kids.
639
00:35:16,720 --> 00:35:19,000
You ladies ready to play
a little Ultimate Frisbee?
640
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:21,720
- I think so, Mr. Testosterone.
- Yeah.
641
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:23,680
Ultimate Frisbee?
That's our game.
642
00:35:23,720 --> 00:35:27,640
- Let's do this for our kids, huh?
- Yeah!
643
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:30,560
Come on, man. Let's do it.
Yeah, for the kids. Yeah, baby.
644
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,600
All right, let's do this.
Sports marketing!
645
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:36,520
Sports marketing! Yeah!
Make the deal. Get them!
646
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:41,320
- That's bear scat, gentlemen.
- Yeah... Yeah, it is.
647
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:42,880
- Dad?
- Yeah?
648
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,400
I think "scat" is poop.
649
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:47,520
- Really, son?
- Yeah.
650
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:51,320
- You wiped poop on my face?
- Yeah.
651
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:54,640
Scat happens, man.
652
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:09,280
One, two, three, four,
653
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:13,240
five, six, seven, eight...
654
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:24,640
Aah...
655
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,520
Go long!
656
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:43,840
Yes! Yeah, baby!
657
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:48,960
Barry! I'm over here, I'm open!
658
00:36:49,720 --> 00:36:53,000
- Hey!
- I'm open!
659
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:58,080
- Oh!
- Get...
660
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:04,040
- Sorry.
- Ow, my gums!
661
00:37:07,720 --> 00:37:10,040
You get your wingman to fight
your battles for you?
662
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,480
- I didn't take your woman.
- I'm a man.
663
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:15,520
- I don't know your woman!
- First you steal Janice Applebaum.
664
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:18,040
- You're confused!
- Then you steal my soul.
665
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:21,360
- What?
- Now it's on, smiley.
666
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,320
Prison rules!
667
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:28,520
- Prison rules?
- Oh, boy.
668
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:34,000
Whoo!
669
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:38,840
Come on, Dad. You can get up.
670
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:42,040
Never mind.
671
00:37:43,240 --> 00:37:44,560
Back, back, back, back.
672
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:45,680
Time out.
673
00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:47,880
Ah!
674
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:53,480
Get off of me!
675
00:37:59,240 --> 00:38:02,160
Stay down, gentle warrior.
676
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:04,560
Ooh...
677
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,480
Pull.
678
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:17,040
- Textbook double bull's eye.
- Nice, Barry.
679
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:22,280
That's how you get yourself a chest
full of merit patches. Anyone else?
680
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:24,640
Pull!
681
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:29,880
- Barry...
- I said... pull!
682
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,040
My bad!
683
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,240
No!
684
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:48,480
- Grandpa Ted!
- We should get our merit patches
685
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:52,200
- just for being his kids.
- Sorry! How bad is it?
686
00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:55,080
- Bad!
- OK.
687
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:07,840
As a result of your
little outdoor adventure,
688
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:11,000
I just want you to know
that my sciatica has flared up,
689
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:12,400
and I stink like a steakhouse.
690
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:13,880
- So thanks.
- Oh, you're welcome.
691
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:15,200
Don't mind the fact that I took
692
00:39:15,240 --> 00:39:17,400
a three-day camping trip
and shortened it to nine hours.
693
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:21,320
- I made fire! Wow!
- Oh, no!
694
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:24,000
That's not good. Get the car ready.
695
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:27,200
Little collateral damage,
but we're back on track with the deal.
696
00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:30,160
Now it's all about the golf game.
How's your back?
697
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:32,000
- Tight.
- Untighten it.
698
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:34,920
Because Nishamura uses golf
as a metaphor for life.
699
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:38,560
So if you mess that up,
it's sayonara, Nishamura.
700
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:42,400
- One of my little magic pills.
- My housekeeper happens to
701
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:45,160
arrange them in an organized
circular fashion, like so.
702
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:46,960
/- Pardon-moi.
- Yes.
703
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,680
That's amazing.
When did we become our fathers?
704
00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:51,440
Man, I'd like to see Troop Leader Barry
705
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,400
deal with the side effects
of even one of these puppies.
706
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:55,760
Look at this. For my aging prostate.
707
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:57,440
- Right.
- Side effects include
708
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:00,760
swollen tongue, dry mouth
and pus-filled canker sores.
709
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,120
- Come on.
- This is a joint anti-inflammatory.
710
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:06,240
Maximum dosage may cause bouts
of uncontrollable appetite.
711
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:08,480
That's not so bad. The munchies.
I could deal with that.
712
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:10,320
Look at this one. High blood pressure.
713
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:13,040
"Watch out for sudden loss
of depth perception."
714
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:16,040
This tiny pill lowers
your bad cholesterol.
715
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:18,920
But the first time I took it,
partial facial paralysis.
716
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:21,520
- Come on.
- I froze up like a circus clown.
717
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:22,720
- I was, like, "Ha."
- You're kidding.
718
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,040
Yeah, like...
719
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:29,240
- Threw my back out.
- Man...
720
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:32,160
- How much longer we got?
- One week, four days, nine hours.
721
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:37,040
- Mmm... Good Lord.
- God help us all.
722
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:40,480
Hey, Dad, I'm in
desperate need of a King Fontana.
723
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:42,280
- You want to play?
- My doctor says that
724
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,720
I can't get down on the floor,
even crouch, on a golf day.
725
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:47,480
It seems I have a genetic
predisposition to knee problems.
726
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:50,400
That means you have it, too.
So you have to be very careful.
727
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:51,960
Nick, I told you not to use epoxy.
728
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,400
It's going to leave a
permanent stain and an odor.
729
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:57,440
Why can't you ever
tell me I did a good job?
730
00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,360
All right, maestro, how do I do this?
731
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:03,840
Um, OK... You want to go
quarter turn clockwise,
732
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:07,200
grab the lever, then use the
counter lever to spin 180 degrees...
733
00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:09,440
Why are you
charging that in here?
734
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:13,200
I keep getting in Dad's way.
He can't do any business in here, right?
735
00:41:13,240 --> 00:41:17,400
Release like that, and voil�.
736
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:20,800
Check if they
have kids' toothpaste.
737
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:25,280
That old people stuff burns my...
738
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:30,560
- Should we tell?
- I think I remember where they go.
739
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:32,480
We'll put this one in...
740
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:37,440
- This one in here.
- Put them in here.
741
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:51,400
Ooh... Mmm.
742
00:42:08,720 --> 00:42:12,920
What am I doing? They're guys.
743
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:19,280
OK, guys, let's go!
Are you guys still hungry?
744
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:21,240
- We just ate.
- So did you.
745
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:25,040
I know, but I'm starved.
746
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,760
That's weird. Hmm.
747
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:39,960
Do you have candy bars on you?
Don't lie to me.
748
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:41,760
- What's wrong with him?
- I don't know.
749
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:44,160
- Hey!
- Hey! You made it.
750
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:46,640
- We made it. Yeah.
- Can we go play?
751
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:49,760
Go ahead. There's games
over there. Check it out.
752
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,960
Catch you later.
753
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:59,360
- Oh!
- Wow. You got a lot of friends.
754
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:01,720
Oh, well, they're not
actually all my friends.
755
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:03,520
It's a bereavement group I belong to.
756
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:05,000
- Bereavement?
- Yeah.
757
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,000
My grandma passed away six months ago.
758
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:09,320
- I'm sorry.
- Everyone here is dealing with loss.
759
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:12,160
And then on the weekends
we have a potluck.
760
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:15,080
Potluck? Where?
761
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:19,280
Mr. Nishamura. It's an honor.
762
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:22,600
- Nice to meet you.
- You, too.
763
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:24,240
Oh.
764
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:27,520
- My son, Riku.
- Riku.
765
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:30,960
- Yeah, hey. Hey. Hey...
- Hey. Hey. Hey.
766
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,160
Oh!
767
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:38,880
Thank you.
768
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:46,560
Tongue is swollen.
769
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:51,440
We are dedicating lunch today
to our brave Justine,
770
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:54,800
who passed away just two days ago.
771
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:58,240
Voicemail. No! Charlie, it's me.
772
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:00,720
I think we switch peers.
773
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:02,240
I love cupcakes!
774
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:07,120
She left us a gift of one of her
world-famous rhubarb pies,
775
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:12,480
that she baked through her pain
of the last few hours of her life.
776
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:17,800
- Good mercy!
- No talk. Nishamura. Call me.
777
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:22,160
Are you ready?
778
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:27,120
That's Justine's rhubarb pie!
779
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:30,240
Where is she?
I want to give Justine a big hug.
780
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:34,480
- She's dead.
- My condolences.
781
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:37,280
She's dead!
782
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:44,680
She's dead! She's dead!
Give me it! Dead! She's dead!
783
00:44:44,720 --> 00:44:48,320
That's a close second.
784
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:51,600
Ooh... Ah!
785
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:58,240
- Is my face twitching?
- You look great.
786
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:00,760
You look... great.
787
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:02,880
Charlie? Are you OK?
788
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:05,600
I am so sorry about
that whole pie thing.
789
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:08,000
It must be my blood sugar or something.
790
00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:10,280
It's OK. I think I calmed them down.
791
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:11,960
Come on. We're having circle time.
792
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,600
- Circle time?
- It's when the whole group
793
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:16,160
gathers and shares their grief.
794
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:22,200
Oh... Guys, I'll be back.
I got to go to circle time.
795
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:29,280
- Um... Hey, Dan?
- Hmm?
796
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:36,760
How are you doing? I recently put down
$3,000 on an authentic Japanese kimono.
797
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:41,480
I just want to make sure it goes OK.
798
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:54,280
Aah... Aah...
799
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:05,680
Dan-san, would you like to use my club?
800
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:09,840
Is that a "yes"?
801
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:13,080
- Why is he ignoring my father?
- No, he's just really intense.
802
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:19,800
He excludes all but the game.
A focus you could learn, my son.
803
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:30,160
- Ooh...
- I knew it. Oh, gosh.
804
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:34,080
Breathe. Just breathe through it.
Walk it off. Walk it off.
805
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:35,680
We're good. We're good.
Just take a shot.
806
00:46:35,720 --> 00:46:38,200
It just passes, and then...
And then it comes back.
807
00:46:38,240 --> 00:46:42,840
After nine months of excruciating pain,
808
00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:48,640
- the cancer had spread.
- We're all here for you.
809
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:55,440
- Do you think this is funny?
- He thinks it's funny.
810
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:57,280
Everybody grieves in their own way.
811
00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:02,600
- That's true.
- If I don't laugh, I'll cry.
812
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:17,280
The golf gods look favorably upon you.
813
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:21,160
This is a very good omen.
814
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:35,640
That was some delicious pie.
815
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:50,520
Dan, have you
seen the Nishamura file?
816
00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:53,520
Hey Dad, maybe tomorrow you can
teach me how to ride a two-wheel.
817
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:55,200
I got a lot on my mind right now.
818
00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:57,280
I'm trying to focus,
finish this business deal.
819
00:47:57,320 --> 00:47:59,520
Come on, Dad. You're not even trying.
820
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:06,840
I'm struggling, OK? That's like trying,
it just... without succeeding.
821
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:14,440
Oh, come on.
He unplugged the fax machine.
822
00:48:14,480 --> 00:48:17,080
Two open plugs and he has
to unplug the fax machine
823
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:19,960
- to plug in his little gaming system.
- Big deal. Come on.
824
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,320
You can't run a business
if you can't get faxes on time.
825
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:27,800
This is the reason
I didn't want to have kids.
826
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:32,360
I wasn't talking about you, Zach.
827
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:35,680
Hey, Zach.
828
00:48:35,720 --> 00:48:39,000
Hey, Zach. Zach...
829
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:42,560
Zachary!
830
00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:58,720
I defaced a venerated monument,
literally. Burned down a campground.
831
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:01,800
My son, for all intents and
purposes, is giving up on me.
832
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:03,880
I'm failing them everywhere I look.
833
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:07,240
Emily, one minute she
wants me to be a superhero,
834
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:10,960
- the next minute a lion, then a king.
- Then be a king, you idiot!
835
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:15,400
Be a superhero, be a lion,
be whatever she wants.
836
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:19,840
Don't you get it? She just
wants someone to protect her.
837
00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:22,000
- That's it?
- Yes.
838
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,640
You have to be on their level.
Be like them.
839
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:26,960
You know what my dad gave me
for my fifth birthday?
840
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:30,560
- What?
- A calculator.
841
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,440
I don't know what it is about me
842
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:37,440
that sees you in a crisis and then
comes galloping to your rescue.
843
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:41,760
But I guess I am who I am, aren't I?
844
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:44,280
You need help connecting
with these kids?
845
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:48,320
I'm going to find you help.
846
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:53,560
Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy!
847
00:50:17,720 --> 00:50:19,000
- Whoo!
- Rocked it, baby.
848
00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:20,960
Ladies, beautiful as always.
849
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:22,880
- Jimmy Mac!
- Charlie!
850
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:25,120
- Yeah, brother!
- What's up? Charlie, look at you!
851
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:26,400
- Meet my friend, Dan.
- Hey.
852
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:29,000
Tell me you felt it.
Did you feel it, man?
853
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:30,600
- Was it electrifying?
- Electrifying.
854
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:31,960
Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.
855
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:34,560
Like chocolate milk coming
through the nose, baby! Yeah!
856
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:37,040
Two shows tomorrow, everybody.
So what's going on?
857
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:38,480
- I was gonna ask you a favor.
- What you need?
858
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:40,640
Remember at Wade's party
you were talking about
859
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:43,920
a human puppeteer, this mechanism?
You got that done?
860
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:46,080
When I was talking to you in confidence?
861
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:48,920
- Yeah.
- You always had that problem.
862
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:51,920
This man is in trouble. He has trouble
relating to his own children.
863
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:53,480
- Oh, my God.
- He needs your help.
864
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:55,200
With your technology, we can fix this.
865
00:50:55,240 --> 00:50:56,640
- Oh, thank you.
- It's true.
866
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:59,120
Let me get this right.
You want to hire me
867
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:01,440
to take this uptight man
and make him a human puppet?
868
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:03,840
- Yes.
- I'm gonna do it for you.
869
00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:06,720
- Aah!
- Everybody, chop, chop! Whoo!
870
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:10,400
- I feel so doggone good here.
- All right. We're good to go.
871
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:12,720
Now, you told me that your
friend didn't know how to play.
872
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:14,840
- It's true.
- Dan, now you don't have to.
873
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:17,360
- Charlie's going to play for you.
- With this suit?
874
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:19,680
- Yes. Stick this down your pants.
- Why?
875
00:51:19,720 --> 00:51:27,680
That thing will emit such a jolt that it
will literally tickle your funny bone.
876
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:39,800
This is a proper tea.
877
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:43,080
Cup. Bring it up.
878
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:45,480
Pinky.
879
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:46,680
This is awesome.
880
00:51:46,720 --> 00:51:50,680
Oh, King Fontana,
I do so admire a proper gentleman.
881
00:51:50,720 --> 00:51:56,960
I admire proper gentlemen, too.
I admire them very, very much.
882
00:51:57,000 --> 00:51:59,320
What?
883
00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:04,080
That was a good cup of tea.
884
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:07,440
Why, thank you. As princess of the land,
I have made it specially.
885
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:10,880
- It is poo-poo flavored.
- She's cute.
886
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:16,520
- He didn't laugh. Make him laugh.
- Watch this.
887
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:21,000
Laugh, puppet. Laugh, laugh.
888
00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:39,520
"Here with my board. Have questions."
889
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:43,560
Cool. I have my board, too.
890
00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:03,320
"Nissan has been our marketing partner
in racing for many years."
891
00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:06,600
"Nissan is poop."
892
00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:18,400
Ah, ah.
893
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:23,440
Strong words. You suggest we sever ties?
894
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:25,600
Racecars. Cool.
895
00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:29,120
"... but robots are cooler."
896
00:53:29,160 --> 00:53:35,760
How could he know we're exploring
a major push in that field?
897
00:53:39,040 --> 00:53:43,560
"This is boring. I'm leaving now."
898
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:46,720
- Fearless, this one.
- Spin him.
899
00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:51,360
- Whoa!
- Spin him. Spin him again.
900
00:53:57,200 --> 00:54:00,960
- Too much spin.
- Yeah.
901
00:54:01,240 --> 00:54:03,680
I'm OK.
902
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:07,880
I told your boy not to get the
battery pack wet. He's on his own.
903
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:10,840
Sorry, Emily.
904
00:54:15,720 --> 00:54:18,320
Princess?
905
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:23,280
King Fontana?
906
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:27,120
Game on.
907
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:32,840
At your service, my lady.
908
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:36,480
You know when they found you
after so many years
909
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:39,200
there were many in my kingdom
who were trepidatious.
910
00:54:39,240 --> 00:54:43,480
- Really hard word.
- Oh. People were scared.
911
00:54:43,520 --> 00:54:47,760
And even most regal I,
your king, was frightened.
912
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:51,840
- A king who was scared? Ha!
- I know. 'T is to laugh. Ha...
913
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:53,480
But 'tis true.
914
00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:57,880
'T is the reason why
a king may act like a toad.
915
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:00,320
/But the day your king found you,
916
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:02,920
he vowed to protect you forever.
917
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:06,960
Even though he didn't know you,
could barely speak your language,
918
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:10,880
and yes, was a little afraid...
919
00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:18,120
...he vowed to vanquish any and all
who would do you harm in any way.
920
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:21,600
You know that. Right, Emily?
921
00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:23,840
You know I'll always be there for you.
922
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:29,480
You're my daughter,
and I will love you forever.
923
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:43,560
- Are you crying?
- No, I'm not. I'm not crying.
924
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:48,440
Jimmy Mac, you crying?
Come on, Jimmy.
925
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:54,880
Your humble servant, madam.
926
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:57,320
- OK.
- Don't let go, Dad.
927
00:55:57,360 --> 00:56:00,000
This reminds me of an article
I once read in Advertising Age,
928
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:03,840
which talked about the fact
that a loss in a firm's brand assets
929
00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:07,040
is negatively correlated
with increased market valuation.
930
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:08,720
I don't know what
you're talking about, Dad.
931
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:11,240
Let's talk about the fact that
you're riding a two-wheeler on your own.
932
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:15,480
- No hands, baby! No hands!
- I'm doing it, Dad! I'm doing it!
933
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:19,120
Yeah! You're doing it.
934
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:22,680
Oh...
935
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:26,320
Hit it!
936
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:29,920
Rookies.
937
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:36,400
There you go. That was awesome.
938
00:56:41,240 --> 00:56:44,120
Hey, look! Look! That's us!
939
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:46,480
Yeah!
940
00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:55,200
/We were most impressed by your
/knowledge of our assets base.
941
00:56:55,240 --> 00:56:58,800
/But ultimately,
/it was your robotics idea
942
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:01,160
/that pushed us over the top.
943
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:03,680
- Robotics?
- Smile and nod.
944
00:57:03,720 --> 00:57:08,160
/We here, at NMG, are ready
/to go to the next step.
945
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:14,040
/Pack your bag, Craig-san.
/You're moving to Tokyo.
946
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:26,400
I've worked so hard!
It's like I've just been traded!
947
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:31,880
- We'll translate that later.
/- Come on over!
948
00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:36,200
- He's very excited.
- Whoo!
949
00:57:45,800 --> 00:57:47,160
Remember, Thursday morning,
950
00:57:47,200 --> 00:57:49,280
conference call with
Nishamura and the board.
951
00:57:49,320 --> 00:57:51,360
You set things up,
and we'll take it from there.
952
00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:55,760
Got it. Conference call Thursday,
tee it up for the big guns.
953
00:57:55,800 --> 00:57:57,760
I just want to say thanks, you guys.
954
00:57:57,800 --> 00:58:01,040
Nobody's ever really believed
in me the way that you two have.
955
00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:05,800
And it really means a lot to me.
You guys are like...
956
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:10,040
You're like the two dads that I
never had. I really appreciate it.
957
00:58:10,080 --> 00:58:14,000
My two father figures.
I'm going to do you proud.
958
00:58:14,040 --> 00:58:17,520
- All right.
- Go To.
959
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:19,520
- You don't want to be late.
- Whoo!
960
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:25,320
Look out, Japan. Here comes
some serious business.
961
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:36,000
Oh, God help us.
962
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:39,000
It was so cool, Mom.
Dad taught me how to ride a two-wheeler,
963
00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:42,040
/and then we got to hang out
/with the New York Mets!
964
00:58:42,080 --> 00:58:45,240
Let me talk to her.
And Dad promised that he'd
965
00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:47,400
do something huge
for our birthday this year.
966
00:58:47,440 --> 00:58:49,080
But he won't even tell us what it is.
967
00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:50,840
- Let me say hi to him.
/- OK.
968
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:53,880
Hey. I'm coming to get you tomorrow.
No arguments.
969
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:55,960
Tomorrow morning, I have
the biggest conference call
970
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:58,680
in my entire career,
but after that I'm all yours.
971
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:01,920
It's amazing. I left the kids
with you out of desperation,
972
00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:04,720
but now I can't imagine
having done it differently.
973
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:07,200
Me too.
974
00:59:53,640 --> 00:59:56,520
Oh, great. This is a record.
975
00:59:56,560 --> 01:00:01,920
He unplugged a laptop,
BlackBerry, lamp, an alarm cl...
976
01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:03,360
- Charlie!
- What?
977
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:06,960
- What?!
- Conference call.
978
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:08,280
- Let's go!
- No, no, no.
979
01:00:08,320 --> 01:00:11,920
- My notes!
- No time!
980
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:17,640
- In three, two, one...
- Kids! In the car!
981
01:00:20,960 --> 01:00:24,720
Just a second... Good...
982
01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:27,520
Nishamura-san.
983
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:30,080
Please accept our
sincere apology for the delay.
984
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:33,280
/We trust our colleague, Craig,
/has already begun the presentation.
985
01:00:33,320 --> 01:00:36,080
/I'm afraid your colleague,
/Craig, has not been
986
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:39,040
/seen nor heard from
/since the moment he arrived.
987
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:41,280
Really?
988
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:43,040
/He's just a little thing.
989
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:45,600
/He looks more like a little
/leprechaun in a business suit.
990
01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:46,840
/- You can't miss him.
/- Red hair...
991
01:00:46,880 --> 01:00:50,120
/He called me from
/the Ginza his first night,
992
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:53,840
/and all I heard was...
993
01:00:54,120 --> 01:01:00,800
/Techno music... and something about
/the teachings of a karaoke master.
994
01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:02,880
/Hey-hey
995
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:05,680
Ai! Ai! Ai!
996
01:01:05,800 --> 01:01:08,240
- Ah...
/- Dan-san.
997
01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:12,800
/I have the utmost respect for you,
/but an hour delay
998
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:16,960
/and a missing executive is not the way
/to begin a relationship.
999
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:18,720
/We will do anything
/to make it work out.
1000
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:20,960
/We are there for you,
/Nishamura-san, 24/7.
1001
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:26,160
Good. That is what I hoped to hear.
So, if we are to move forward
1002
01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:30,640
you and Charlie are the ones
who must move here to Tokyo
1003
01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:32,840
/and be our liaison.
1004
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:37,240
That is my final and only offer.
1005
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:49,400
OK... Let's do this.
Let's do this. Just do it.
1006
01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:56,400
- Thank you. Oh!
- Hey.
1007
01:01:56,440 --> 01:02:01,360
Oh! Freedom. I can smell the air again.
1008
01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:03,520
- How are the kids?
- Great.
1009
01:02:03,560 --> 01:02:07,000
- Maybe we should get going.
- OK.
1010
01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:12,120
I just went with the motto, "Don't
serve the time, let the time serve you."
1011
01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:16,320
The truth is, Dan, most of what
I was reflecting on was us.
1012
01:02:16,360 --> 01:02:17,760
Really?
1013
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:21,040
And the way you've proven yourself
to me with the kids.
1014
01:02:21,080 --> 01:02:23,040
- Bless you.
- Our kids.
1015
01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:27,200
- Yeah.
- Maybe you were right two weeks ago.
1016
01:02:27,240 --> 01:02:31,040
Maybe it is time to give us another try.
1017
01:02:31,080 --> 01:02:33,440
Really?
1018
01:02:33,480 --> 01:02:35,080
Timing.
1019
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:36,800
- Timing's perfect.
- Timing.
1020
01:02:36,840 --> 01:02:39,760
- Wow.
- Wow.
1021
01:02:49,400 --> 01:02:51,960
Where are they?
1022
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,400
- Oh, my babies.
- Mom.
1023
01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:57,520
Oh! I missed you so much.
1024
01:02:57,560 --> 01:03:00,600
All right. I made you guys something.
1025
01:03:00,640 --> 01:03:02,960
Cool!
1026
01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:04,480
Thanks, Mom.
1027
01:03:04,520 --> 01:03:06,560
Don't worry, Charlie.
I didn't forget you.
1028
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:09,760
I carved you a little soap bunny.
1029
01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:11,200
Oh, Charlie.
1030
01:03:11,240 --> 01:03:13,640
I'll strike that right off
my Christmas list.
1031
01:03:13,680 --> 01:03:18,320
Hey, that's a thoughtful gift.
That's wonderful.
1032
01:03:18,360 --> 01:03:20,800
We need to discuss something,
though, as a family.
1033
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:25,120
- I'll give you a moment.
- OK.
1034
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:34,720
When you reappeared in my life, Charlie
and I were in the middle of a deal
1035
01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:38,760
that could be the culmination
of our 30 years in this business.
1036
01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:44,960
But in order to close that deal...
I have to move to Japan.
1037
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:47,160
What about our birthday? The big party?
1038
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:49,520
I'm probably going to miss this one.
1039
01:03:49,560 --> 01:03:52,640
But I'm going to try really hard
and come back every six months.
1040
01:03:52,680 --> 01:03:56,440
So I'll make the next one
most likely, you know?
1041
01:03:56,480 --> 01:03:58,520
What about what you said two weeks ago?
1042
01:03:58,560 --> 01:04:00,800
What about trying to make us work?
1043
01:04:00,840 --> 01:04:04,960
I meant that. I really did. But...
1044
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:11,760
But, Daddy, if you move to Japan,
who will protect the kingdom?
1045
01:04:12,240 --> 01:04:14,760
I know you wanted me
to be a superhero, Emily.
1046
01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:17,440
You all wanted me to be one.
1047
01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:20,040
But I'm not. I wish I could be.
1048
01:04:20,080 --> 01:04:25,360
I'd fly back and forth
from Japan every day.
1049
01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:30,240
I'm just a guy in marketing.
1050
01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:37,200
I'm going to go pack the kids.
1051
01:04:37,240 --> 01:04:40,680
I'm sorry, you guys.
1052
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:55,040
- Hello. Thank you.
- May I take your bag?
1053
01:04:55,080 --> 01:04:57,800
Why don't we think of
this deal as our child.
1054
01:04:57,840 --> 01:05:01,440
- Uh-huh.
- Hello. Hi.
1055
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:04,640
I know you're upset about leaving,
but we're going to fix it, OK?
1056
01:05:04,680 --> 01:05:07,240
We're going to find somebody
to replace Craig who's smarter,
1057
01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:10,560
and in six months
to a year, we're home. OK?
1058
01:05:10,600 --> 01:05:12,840
- You think?
- This time I just say to you,
1059
01:05:12,880 --> 01:05:16,440
"Embrace it. People love Japan."
1060
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:18,400
- Want some?
- No!
1061
01:05:18,440 --> 01:05:22,280
- What? No?
- No. No. OK.
1062
01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:34,400
The truth is, I probably
looked like the Joker from /Batman.
1063
01:05:34,440 --> 01:05:36,880
But I felt bad. These poor, sad people.
1064
01:05:36,920 --> 01:05:39,840
Anyway, I'm the first guy
to insult a bereavement group
1065
01:05:39,880 --> 01:05:43,560
and still get the girl.
1066
01:05:44,360 --> 01:05:46,560
That's Yankee ingenuity!
1067
01:05:46,600 --> 01:05:53,640
Please, Charlie, show us that
facial paralysis smile one more time.
1068
01:05:58,880 --> 01:06:01,120
All right, do your thing, superstar.
1069
01:06:01,160 --> 01:06:03,840
Thank you.
1070
01:06:04,680 --> 01:06:06,960
The American sports market
is a minefield,
1071
01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:08,520
and what I'd like to do today
1072
01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:14,080
is draw a map
through that minefield so that...
1073
01:06:18,440 --> 01:06:20,960
OK, Dan. Let's get going.
1074
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:23,600
I accessed the wrong file.
1075
01:06:23,640 --> 01:06:27,080
/- Dad!
/- Hey, Dad.
1076
01:06:27,240 --> 01:06:31,240
Um... A little technical...
1077
01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:37,640
- I can do it from my notes.
- OK.
1078
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:50,360
The first market segment is, um...
1079
01:06:50,920 --> 01:06:53,520
Let's go.
1080
01:06:53,800 --> 01:06:58,000
The idea of sports to a kid...
1081
01:07:01,240 --> 01:07:04,760
Dan, what's going on?
1082
01:07:05,360 --> 01:07:07,800
How could you have tanked that
meeting? The way I set you up,
1083
01:07:07,840 --> 01:07:11,200
you could've told them we were hiring
monkeys and they would have bought it!
1084
01:07:11,240 --> 01:07:12,640
That was our dream, Dan!
1085
01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:16,000
That was going to put us in the hall
of fame of sports marketing.
1086
01:07:16,040 --> 01:07:17,040
Go!
1087
01:07:17,080 --> 01:07:20,160
Remember that USFL account we got?
That would've been the one to tank!
1088
01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:23,000
- Will you please shut up?!
- Now you speak!
1089
01:07:23,040 --> 01:07:24,960
- You want a piece of me? Bring it!
- Bring it! Come on!
1090
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:27,520
All right! Sorry.
1091
01:07:27,560 --> 01:07:29,280
How's this going to work out, snowball?
1092
01:07:29,320 --> 01:07:31,920
I don't know, man tan. You'll be OK.
1093
01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:35,680
You'll tap-dance your way into a
brand-new job, still date 35-year-olds.
1094
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:41,560
You never grew up.
You never had to. You always had me.
1095
01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:43,360
- God!
- It is small enough!
1096
01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:45,520
- Shut up, Charlie!
- Made for a sardine.
1097
01:07:45,560 --> 01:07:48,480
- I'm a big man. This is a little seat.
- Yeah, you're a big ma...
1098
01:07:48,520 --> 01:07:51,680
- Stop trying to change me, Charlie.
- You know I can't do that.
1099
01:07:51,720 --> 01:07:54,040
- Then I'm done.
- Done with taking my advice?
1100
01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:56,680
- Mmm-hmm.
- Late-night rap sessions?
1101
01:07:56,720 --> 01:07:58,520
But not done
with the time-share in Vail.
1102
01:07:58,560 --> 01:08:00,640
No, I'm done with you.
1103
01:08:00,680 --> 01:08:02,600
/Welcome aboard,
/flight nine to New York.
1104
01:08:02,640 --> 01:08:04,720
/We got 18 hours
/of flight time ahead of us,
1105
01:08:04,760 --> 01:08:08,040
/so turn to the person next to you
/and get to know them.
1106
01:08:08,080 --> 01:08:12,000
/It's going to be a long ride.
1107
01:08:12,040 --> 01:08:15,120
Where you from?
1108
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:18,400
The whole trip was a bust
from start to finish.
1109
01:08:18,440 --> 01:08:19,960
Amanda, could I call you back?
1110
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:24,800
I got to pick up Lucky
from the dog hotel. I'll call you.
1111
01:08:24,840 --> 01:08:27,600
Where's my boy? Where's my boy?
1112
01:08:27,640 --> 01:08:32,200
Lucky, come here, boy.
Where's my goo-go!
1113
01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:35,080
Where is he?
1114
01:08:37,400 --> 01:08:41,920
- Where is he?
- We tried to call.
1115
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:50,280
/Hello, Daniel, it's Charlie.
1116
01:08:50,320 --> 01:08:53,920
/Thought you'd like to know that after
/14 wonderful, fulfilling years together,
1117
01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:56,600
/my true best friend, Lucky, has passed.
1118
01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:59,880
/Maybe my life isn't as blessed
/as you paint it to be.
1119
01:08:59,920 --> 01:09:02,400
/I thought you'd like to know
/that the funeral is this Tuesday
1120
01:09:02,440 --> 01:09:05,440
/followed by a small,
/tasteful reception at my house.
1121
01:09:05,480 --> 01:09:07,040
/I'm indifferent as to whether you come.
1122
01:09:07,080 --> 01:09:08,640
/Gentlemen, it's Craig,
1123
01:09:08,680 --> 01:09:10,320
/and I'm back in New York.
1124
01:09:10,360 --> 01:09:11,640
I know I messed up.
1125
01:09:11,680 --> 01:09:14,040
I take full responsibility
for the mistakes that I made.
1126
01:09:14,080 --> 01:09:17,840
I'm not going to beg,
and I won't call again.
1127
01:09:17,880 --> 01:09:19,760
The truth is that I was a preemie.
1128
01:09:19,800 --> 01:09:23,720
I was several weeks premature, and
there was talk of oxygen deprivation.
1129
01:09:23,760 --> 01:09:25,320
I'm not making excuses,
but the doctor said...
1130
01:09:25,360 --> 01:09:27,720
Idiot.
1131
01:09:39,920 --> 01:09:41,800
Oh...
1132
01:09:41,840 --> 01:09:44,160
You know someone a bunch of years,
1133
01:09:44,200 --> 01:09:48,240
and it's easy to forget
that you were fortunate enough
1134
01:09:48,280 --> 01:09:51,040
to have known them for even one day.
1135
01:09:51,080 --> 01:09:55,520
And that was Lucky, to me.
I mean, he was my friend.
1136
01:09:55,560 --> 01:09:59,000
He... Well, even more important,
he was my family.
1137
01:09:59,040 --> 01:10:01,760
And where was I when he was
breathing his last breath?
1138
01:10:01,800 --> 01:10:05,760
In Japan, making a business deal.
1139
01:10:05,800 --> 01:10:08,880
Is there anyone who would like
to say anything about Lucky
1140
01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:13,520
- before we say goodbye?
- I would.
1141
01:10:20,280 --> 01:10:22,080
I've had the great pleasure
of being the other old dog
1142
01:10:22,120 --> 01:10:25,920
in Charlie's life for the past 30 years.
1143
01:10:25,960 --> 01:10:28,120
Like Lucky,
1144
01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:35,080
I feel like a fortunate son of a gun
to have Charlie as a friend.
1145
01:10:36,320 --> 01:10:37,920
You're so cute.
1146
01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:39,280
Here. A nice bowl of cold water.
1147
01:10:39,320 --> 01:10:41,600
- I'm really glad you came, man.
- Me too.
1148
01:10:41,640 --> 01:10:44,360
It's really important to me.
1149
01:10:44,400 --> 01:10:46,720
- I've said some things...
- Please, don't go there.
1150
01:10:46,760 --> 01:10:47,920
- I have to.
- Why?
1151
01:10:47,960 --> 01:10:50,840
You've always had faith in me,
even when I didn't have faith in myself.
1152
01:10:50,880 --> 01:10:54,360
You're not just my best friend,
you're the best kind of friend.
1153
01:10:54,400 --> 01:10:57,080
You're loyal, honorable...
1154
01:10:57,120 --> 01:11:00,760
But? See I knew there was a "but."
This is gonna sting like a mother. Go.
1155
01:11:00,800 --> 01:11:02,480
Aside from going into business with you,
1156
01:11:02,520 --> 01:11:05,600
I've only made two good decisions
in my entire life.
1157
01:11:05,640 --> 01:11:09,040
Marrying Vicki and taking those kids.
1158
01:11:09,080 --> 01:11:11,480
And those are the two most impulsive
things I've done in my entire life,
1159
01:11:11,520 --> 01:11:14,400
besides the tattoo, which,
God willing, I'll get over one day.
1160
01:11:14,440 --> 01:11:18,080
I feel another moment of Dan Rayburn
impulsivity about to happen.
1161
01:11:18,120 --> 01:11:20,360
Charlie, this is big.
I'm talking about uprooting,
1162
01:11:20,400 --> 01:11:23,000
change of scenery,
the end of the business as we know it.
1163
01:11:23,040 --> 01:11:26,880
Oh, Dan. We'll figure out the business.
We always do.
1164
01:11:26,920 --> 01:11:33,040
- Yeah, but... I have to get them back.
- Nah. Absolutely not.
1165
01:11:33,080 --> 01:11:35,040
We're gonna get 'em back.
1166
01:11:35,080 --> 01:11:38,760
Yeah. Yeah, little man.
1167
01:11:48,640 --> 01:11:52,000
- Out of the way. Dad on a mission.
- You guys aren't gonna regret this.
1168
01:11:52,040 --> 01:11:55,200
I'll do whatever it takes
to get back into your good grace...
1169
01:11:55,240 --> 01:11:57,280
You want to lighten up
on the throttle, Sparky?
1170
01:11:57,320 --> 01:12:00,640
We got a zoo exit coming up here.
1171
01:12:00,680 --> 01:12:02,320
I'm not gonna miss that birthday party.
1172
01:12:02,360 --> 01:12:04,280
It's just great to get the three amigos
back together again.
1173
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:08,240
You're still on probation!
1174
01:12:10,360 --> 01:12:13,080
- No, no. That's not a lock.
- You open?
1175
01:12:13,120 --> 01:12:15,680
Nah. Sorry,
the zoo closes at 3:00 to new visitors.
1176
01:12:15,720 --> 01:12:18,320
But my kids are in there.
They're having a birthday party,
1177
01:12:18,360 --> 01:12:20,640
and I have to be there because I'm Dad.
1178
01:12:20,680 --> 01:12:22,640
Yeah. This is Dan Rayburn, superdad.
1179
01:12:22,680 --> 01:12:24,960
Check on your list. R-A-Y-B-U-R-N.
1180
01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:29,360
Superdad is super late, all right?
Rayburn? You know what?
1181
01:12:29,400 --> 01:12:32,440
You don't even have the same last name
as the birthday kids. Can't do it.
1182
01:12:32,480 --> 01:12:36,080
- How does three big ones sound?
- A little money, huh?
1183
01:12:36,120 --> 01:12:39,680
Don't you ever hand me
three dollars again.
1184
01:12:39,720 --> 01:12:41,720
- Come on. You can let us...
- You already have a kid there.
1185
01:12:41,760 --> 01:12:43,280
- It's fine.
- I can't let you in.
1186
01:12:43,320 --> 01:12:46,040
He's got a heart problem.
He just wants to see his kids.
1187
01:12:46,080 --> 01:12:49,800
- You shall not pass.
- You're great at your job, man!
1188
01:12:49,840 --> 01:12:53,440
Charlie, what are you doing?
1189
01:12:53,480 --> 01:12:55,160
What are you thinking?
1190
01:12:55,200 --> 01:12:58,600
Danny boy, I am going to
get you into that party,
1191
01:12:58,640 --> 01:13:02,120
at great risk
to my perfect legal record.
1192
01:13:02,160 --> 01:13:04,560
- Through here?
- Oh, yeah. Here we go.
1193
01:13:04,600 --> 01:13:06,800
- That's breaking and entering. No, no.
- Bingo!
1194
01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:08,600
- Don't do that.
- Wait. Let me do it.
1195
01:13:08,640 --> 01:13:10,200
- Why?
- I'll take the risk.
1196
01:13:10,240 --> 01:13:13,160
OK. Go ahead.
1197
01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:15,360
Yeah...
1198
01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:18,440
- Come on. Come on.
- I got it.
1199
01:13:18,480 --> 01:13:21,760
I need some help. I need help.
1200
01:13:21,800 --> 01:13:23,360
- OK.
- Go, Craig.
1201
01:13:23,400 --> 01:13:25,440
- Me? OK.
- Yeah, you first.
1202
01:13:25,480 --> 01:13:28,640
What's her name?
1203
01:13:35,040 --> 01:13:36,600
- We made it.
- We did it!
1204
01:13:36,640 --> 01:13:41,080
Yeah! Can't keep Dan Rayburn out.
1205
01:13:41,480 --> 01:13:43,320
Never doubt you, Charlie. Never.
1206
01:13:43,360 --> 01:13:45,720
- We are in the zoo, guys.
- All right, which way?
1207
01:13:45,760 --> 01:13:48,160
A moat. I wonder what lives here.
1208
01:13:48,200 --> 01:13:50,720
We're in the gorilla enclosure.
1209
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:52,760
- What?
- Stand still.
1210
01:13:52,800 --> 01:13:55,080
Hold still. Don't do it. Don't move.
1211
01:13:55,120 --> 01:13:57,920
- Gorilla. Silverback gorilla.
- Stay where you are.
1212
01:13:57,960 --> 01:14:00,000
Don't look at him in the eyes.
Just look away.
1213
01:14:00,040 --> 01:14:02,960
If you don't see him, he doesn't
see you. Back up to the tunnel.
1214
01:14:03,000 --> 01:14:05,360
You have to be aggressive with
the larger apes. I've read about this.
1215
01:14:05,400 --> 01:14:07,680
- Back up to the tunnel.
- No, no. No retreat.
1216
01:14:07,720 --> 01:14:10,960
- Retreat. No, retreat.
- You retreat, we are dead.
1217
01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:16,160
He senses fear, he attacks.
Be aggressive.
1218
01:14:24,520 --> 01:14:27,840
- Food!
- Don't provoke it! Charlie, no!
1219
01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:30,120
Aah!
1220
01:14:32,600 --> 01:14:35,360
- Oh!
- Charlie!
1221
01:14:35,400 --> 01:14:38,080
Aggression not working.
Maybe we should be submissive.
1222
01:14:38,120 --> 01:14:41,120
- Or run!
- Every man for himself!
1223
01:14:41,160 --> 01:14:43,680
Run! Go!
1224
01:14:44,840 --> 01:14:46,880
Come on, Danny boy.
1225
01:14:46,920 --> 01:14:49,280
Uh-oh.
1226
01:15:02,560 --> 01:15:05,120
We're alive!
1227
01:15:05,160 --> 01:15:08,160
- Penguins!
- Aw...
1228
01:15:08,200 --> 01:15:12,280
- I love penguins.
- Me too.
1229
01:15:13,480 --> 01:15:16,080
- Angry penguins!
- Save yourself!
1230
01:15:16,120 --> 01:15:18,880
Go to your kids!
1231
01:15:18,920 --> 01:15:21,680
Ow! Ow! Ow!
1232
01:15:22,240 --> 01:15:25,400
Charlie! Charlie!
1233
01:15:25,440 --> 01:15:29,600
- I love you, Charlie!
- Ooh!
1234
01:15:38,440 --> 01:15:42,600
Help. Help.
Help. Help. Help.
1235
01:15:42,640 --> 01:15:45,080
Aahh...
1236
01:15:45,960 --> 01:15:49,880
Everybody, it's cake time.
1237
01:15:51,240 --> 01:15:53,400
Oh!
1238
01:15:53,880 --> 01:15:56,480
- Birthday parties. Which way?
- They're on Adventure Island.
1239
01:15:56,520 --> 01:15:58,720
But the tunnel's closed.
There's no way to get there from here.
1240
01:15:58,760 --> 01:16:04,400
No, no. I got to get
to that birthday party. Please.
1241
01:16:04,440 --> 01:16:06,600
OK.
1242
01:16:07,200 --> 01:16:08,960
- What are you doing?
- Some little girl
1243
01:16:09,000 --> 01:16:11,160
wants a superhero
to fly into her birthday party.
1244
01:16:11,200 --> 01:16:15,880
- Mom calls me, I show up.
- Really?
1245
01:16:17,640 --> 01:16:21,040
We're going to sing /Happy Birthday.
1246
01:16:21,080 --> 01:16:23,240
- How does this work?
- You go up, you come down.
1247
01:16:23,280 --> 01:16:26,360
- It's not rocket science, chief.
- And it's safe?
1248
01:16:26,400 --> 01:16:29,840
- Aah... Sure.
- Oh.
1249
01:16:31,280 --> 01:16:34,720
Daddy's coming. Yeah!
Which way is the party?
1250
01:16:34,760 --> 01:16:36,800
- Northwest!
- You got it!
1251
01:16:36,840 --> 01:16:40,760
- Go for it!
- Yeah. Yeah!
1252
01:16:42,000 --> 01:16:46,240
Killer penguins.
Killer penguins!
1253
01:16:46,280 --> 01:16:48,920
- Killer penguins!
- Charlie!
1254
01:16:48,960 --> 01:16:51,560
Dan! What's he doing up there?
1255
01:16:51,600 --> 01:16:54,080
Ah, he wanted to be a superhero
for his daughter's birthday.
1256
01:16:54,120 --> 01:16:58,560
- He know what he's doing?
- It's like a ride. Don't worry.
1257
01:16:58,600 --> 01:17:02,000
Go, Danny boy!
I'm the wind beneath your wings!
1258
01:17:02,040 --> 01:17:06,400
There's no stopping Dan Rayburn!
1259
01:17:06,600 --> 01:17:08,840
Did you see a little man?
He's about yea-big.
1260
01:17:08,880 --> 01:17:11,600
He's got reddish hair.
He looks like a Hobbit.
1261
01:17:11,640 --> 01:17:14,080
Just go to your happy place!
1262
01:17:14,120 --> 01:17:19,280
- Just go to a happy place!
- One, two, three!
1263
01:17:19,320 --> 01:17:22,000
I can fly!
1264
01:17:22,880 --> 01:17:25,960
I can fly! Yes!
1265
01:17:28,800 --> 01:17:32,960
Happy birthday, Zach and Emily!
1266
01:17:33,000 --> 01:17:35,800
Look, guys, it's a superhero,
just like you wanted.
1267
01:17:35,840 --> 01:17:38,480
I'm coming, kids!
1268
01:17:38,520 --> 01:17:40,960
- Oh, my gosh! Dan?
- It's Dad!
1269
01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:43,400
- It's me, Fatherman!
- Dad!
1270
01:17:43,440 --> 01:17:45,080
Yeah!
1271
01:17:45,120 --> 01:17:46,080
I knew it.
1272
01:17:46,120 --> 01:17:50,080
That's right, kids.
Believe what you see!
1273
01:17:50,120 --> 01:17:54,640
- Isn't enough fuel.
- Be careful!
1274
01:18:19,240 --> 01:18:22,560
I'm so sorry.
I just wanted to make an impact.
1275
01:18:22,600 --> 01:18:24,160
Mission accomplished.
1276
01:18:24,200 --> 01:18:26,680
I'm not that bad. It doesn't hurt.
I don't need to go to the hospital.
1277
01:18:26,720 --> 01:18:29,080
I just need to go home and sleep it off.
1278
01:18:29,120 --> 01:18:30,720
- You want to go home?
- Yeah.
1279
01:18:30,760 --> 01:18:32,400
You're in Burlington.
You know that, right?
1280
01:18:32,440 --> 01:18:36,960
I know that.
I rented a house a half mile from here.
1281
01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:38,760
You moved here?
1282
01:18:38,800 --> 01:18:41,760
Look, I know
I loused it up for us romantically
1283
01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:44,640
when I chose Japan over you.
1284
01:18:44,680 --> 01:18:48,520
And after what happened in South Beach,
that's pretty much unforgivable.
1285
01:18:48,560 --> 01:18:51,320
But these guys
weren't around in South Beach.
1286
01:18:51,360 --> 01:18:55,600
Good timing or bad timing, I love them.
1287
01:18:55,640 --> 01:18:58,400
I moved here so,
whether they want to visit me or not,
1288
01:18:58,440 --> 01:19:01,280
I could be closer to them.
1289
01:19:01,320 --> 01:19:03,840
I'm not a superhero, kids.
Maybe that's a good thing
1290
01:19:03,880 --> 01:19:08,320
because, you know, superheroes
are always off fighting crime.
1291
01:19:08,360 --> 01:19:10,920
And I just want to be with you guys...
1292
01:19:10,960 --> 01:19:15,120
...forever, if you'll let me.
1293
01:19:17,560 --> 01:19:19,480
Deal.
1294
01:19:19,520 --> 01:19:21,600
You're on my oxygen!
1295
01:19:21,640 --> 01:19:23,880
Aah!
1296
01:19:56,480 --> 01:19:58,640
Long story short,
he gets the kids, he gets his wife.
1297
01:19:58,680 --> 01:20:00,040
And Nishamura calls and says,
1298
01:20:00,080 --> 01:20:02,680
"We want a family man
to represent a family business."
1299
01:20:02,720 --> 01:20:05,520
Boom, $47 million in fees later,
1300
01:20:05,560 --> 01:20:07,520
here we are on my best friend's boat
going to Aruba.
1301
01:20:07,560 --> 01:20:09,800
That is a true story. I mean, come on.
1302
01:20:09,840 --> 01:20:12,640
Well, it's a good thing
you brought us down here
1303
01:20:12,680 --> 01:20:16,480
because the high seas are a
dangerous mistress for these children.
1304
01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:20,600
Excuse me. What are you doing
to my boat? Oh, the safety squad? Why?
1305
01:20:20,640 --> 01:20:24,280
It's my kid, OK? The fruit of my loins.
And you just relax, OK?
1306
01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:26,240
We're going to fix this boat
so it's safe for her.
1307
01:20:26,280 --> 01:20:27,760
Your baby's only three months old!
1308
01:20:27,800 --> 01:20:30,120
Nick!
1309
01:20:30,360 --> 01:20:33,560
This is not a Sizzler!
1310
01:20:33,600 --> 01:20:34,880
All right, so two weeks.
1311
01:20:34,920 --> 01:20:37,120
Keep the office running smooth
until the big guns get back.
1312
01:20:37,160 --> 01:20:39,440
- That'll be my sole scope of work.
- Now, Craig,
1313
01:20:39,480 --> 01:20:41,680
no more karaoke. You are cut off.
1314
01:20:41,720 --> 01:20:43,960
Not even in your own house.
You can do it.
1315
01:20:44,000 --> 01:20:51,760
- Go To! We're gonna miss you, Go To.
- Hey, you guys are using my nickname.
1316
01:20:53,240 --> 01:20:55,360
- Oh...
- Nick?
1317
01:20:55,400 --> 01:20:57,440
Listen. Are you good at puzzles?
1318
01:20:57,480 --> 01:21:00,960
Everybody take their
seasickness pills? Come on, guys.
1319
01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:02,560
Wow. Should we tell?
1320
01:21:02,600 --> 01:21:06,160
I think I remember where they go.
1321
01:21:06,200 --> 01:21:08,520
Yeah.
1322
01:21:08,920 --> 01:21:11,840
All right, we got the bags stowed below.
Seasickness pills
1323
01:21:11,880 --> 01:21:14,160
have been distributed.
Let's just get one bon voyage photo,
1324
01:21:14,200 --> 01:21:16,480
and then
we're ready to shove off, folks.
1325
01:21:16,520 --> 01:21:18,640
All right,
everyone get together for a picture.
1326
01:21:18,680 --> 01:21:20,520
Big smiles. Let's look real happy.
1327
01:21:20,560 --> 01:21:22,720
- Today, Craig.
- Got it?
1328
01:21:22,760 --> 01:21:26,600
Maybe not quite so happy.
1329
01:21:27,600 --> 01:22:27,600
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