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INSPIRED BY THE LIFE AND WORK
OF NELLY ARCAN
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ÉDITIONS DU SEUIL / ÉDITIONS POINTS
3
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:45,689
Once upon a time there was a tavern
4
00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:50,069
Where we used to raise a glass or two
5
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:55,866
Remember how we laughed away the hours
6
00:01:56,700 --> 00:02:02,081
And dreamed of all
The great things we would do
7
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:07,545
Those were the days, my friend
8
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:10,297
We thought they'd never end
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00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:15,678
We'd sing and dance, forever and a day
10
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:18,430
We'd live the life we choose
11
00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:21,225
We'd fight and never lose
12
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:26,480
For we were young and sure to have our way
13
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,608
-Come in.
-Hi.
14
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:15,821
-Pierre, right?
-Yeah.
15
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:19,617
I'm Cynthia. I'm happy to meet you.
16
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:21,076
Me, too.
17
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,047
Have a seat.
18
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,434
This is my first time.
19
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:51,899
Do you think I'm attractive?
20
00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:53,859
Yes.
21
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:57,321
-Do you want me?
-Yes.
22
00:03:59,198 --> 00:04:00,324
I want you too.
23
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:06,789
Some johns only want to talk,
and that's perfect too.
24
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:11,669
But you...
25
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,469
I'm glad you want to fuck me.
26
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,350
You turn me on.
27
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,855
I don't know why, but you turn me on.
28
00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:34,233
You too.
29
00:04:38,988 --> 00:04:39,947
Will you suck me?
30
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:46,787
It'll be my pleasure.
31
00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:11,747
Yes, life has pierced me through.
32
00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:21,298
I didn't dream up those men,
33
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,384
the thousands in my bed, in my mouth.
34
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,930
I invented nothing of their sperm on me,
35
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:30,182
in my face, in my eyes.
36
00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:32,684
I saw it all,
37
00:06:33,644 --> 00:06:35,145
and it still goes on,
38
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,523
every day, or almost.
39
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,485
You owned everything already.
40
00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:45,103
We were helpless against
the outcome of our encounter.
41
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:09,669
With you
42
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:15,258
I experienced the moments of languor
known to those who feel death approaching.
43
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,278
I'm sorry, Suzanne.
44
00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:00,530
I look horrible.
45
00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:02,491
No, you're sublime, as always.
46
00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:05,452
-Thanks.
-Come, we're late.
47
00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:08,955
Are you OK? Ready for this?
48
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:10,874
Always.
49
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,402
I'm sorry for being late.
50
00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:42,239
I'm systematically late, without fail.
51
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:44,991
It's like champagne...
52
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:48,286
Beauty is a weapon that subjugates.
53
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:57,087
Beauty is an order that commands
immobility and contemplation by all.
54
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:01,299
One must compel others to stop living,
55
00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:03,426
for the time they look,
56
00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:06,846
force them to become an audience,
57
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,849
arrange them around you,
58
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:11,601
up in the bleachers.
59
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:35,792
Here you have the Emperor.
60
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,254
That, with the Chariot...
61
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:43,550
A major professional success
may await you.
62
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,970
But you have to be careful, go slow.
63
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:49,806
I won't bank on it.
64
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,726
Pack your bags, Isa.
We're going on a trip!
65
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,480
-My turn now!
-Shh! Mom's sleeping, sweetie.
66
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,484
Move over, big girl.
67
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,697
Do you have a question?
68
00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:07,532
No.
69
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:18,168
The reversed Female Pope,
70
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:20,378
the Hermit...
71
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:22,130
What?
72
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:24,966
Nothing.
73
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:27,927
Pick a different card.
74
00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:37,562
Something in me was always lacking.
75
00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:58,166
Yes?
76
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:01,086
Yes, speaking.
77
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:04,547
I was sleeping, yes.
78
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,425
It's 5:30.
79
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:11,221
No, that's alright.
80
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:16,726
Which publisher?
81
00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:21,856
In Paris?
82
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,613
Yes, that's my manuscript.
83
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:37,122
Really?
84
00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:43,420
Yes, it's very good news.
85
00:16:59,102 --> 00:16:59,936
Mathieu?
86
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:01,771
Yes, that's me.
87
00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:03,565
-Hello.
-Hello.
88
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,942
-I'm very pleased to meet you.
-Me too.
89
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:13,950
It's an honor, miss.
90
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:18,538
It's not every day we travel to Canada
to meet a new author.
91
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,374
Your writing is magnificent.
92
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:24,377
Thank you.
93
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,255
Your text sent...
94
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,841
a shock wave
through the editorial committee.
95
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:33,845
Whiskey.
96
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:38,683
I guess I'll have the same. Whiskey.
97
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,230
Is it your first novel?
98
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:46,399
Yes.
99
00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:49,027
Have you been working on it long?
100
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:51,946
For a few months.
101
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:54,657
How old are you?
102
00:17:57,327 --> 00:17:58,703
I'm 26.
103
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:04,250
You're very young.
I mean, for that style, that...
104
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,003
that density.
105
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:09,422
Thank you.
106
00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:16,763
Is it based on your life?
Is it your own story?
107
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:20,099
Is that important?
108
00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:23,895
No, it doesn't alter the book's quality.
109
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:24,979
We read you and...
110
00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,649
want to know everything about you.
111
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,443
Or to avoid you, perhaps.
112
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:33,655
But no one can remain indifferent.
113
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:38,243
Some things are true, others not.
114
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,372
Will you go on writing?
115
00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:48,002
Apart from my writing,
I'm nothing.
116
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:54,968
Hello.
117
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,345
Oh my god, your hair!
118
00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:00,056
It's so awesome.
119
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,310
What smells? Did you cook?
120
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,232
-It's gonna be awful.
-No way.
121
00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:10,733
It's gonna be amazing!
122
00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:13,444
Hey, babe! Your top is way cool!
123
00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:16,281
-Thanks.
-You are sexy.
124
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:17,949
-Nice shoes!
-Thanks.
125
00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:20,702
-Time to drink!
-Wanna do some shots?
126
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:27,792
I swear, she comes out
and says, all proud,
127
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:30,253
"The last john tipped me $200."
128
00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:34,132
You just fucked him bareback.
129
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,722
-How's it look?
-Fuckin' A!
130
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:42,140
-Did you buy it with him?
-No.
131
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:45,935
He brought a Holt's bag
and had me try it on.
132
00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:48,021
-He has taste.
-Seriously.
133
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,356
No john ever gave me a dress.
134
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:53,109
-But you're a great whore.
-For sure.
135
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,653
-Wanna check our reviews?
-Yes!
136
00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:57,906
No, not again!
137
00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,617
Thanks. Ok...
138
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:01,951
Here we go.
139
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:06,873
-There.
-I'm ready to be humiliated.
140
00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:10,209
Bad start, sweetie.
141
00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:15,965
Must be the guy this aft.
What does the pig say?
142
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,557
-You're a fucking beauty!
-Go on.
143
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:30,355
Asshole!
144
00:20:36,611 --> 00:20:37,612
OK, fine, stop.
145
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:39,405
I have my fans.
146
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:45,036
What about the Goddess?
147
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,789
-Come on, who cares?
-No, keep going!
148
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:50,458
OK, the lovely Cynthia. 8:56 pm.
149
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:56,130
Warning, you'll be addicted
to Cynthia in no time."
150
00:20:56,214 --> 00:20:57,882
Bitch! What's your secret?
151
00:20:57,966 --> 00:21:00,885
-Go on!
-"Cynthia is a beautiful young girl.
152
00:21:00,969 --> 00:21:03,471
A magnificent body, gorgeous ass,
153
00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,723
and breasts close to perfection.
154
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:09,227
She has soft skin and she smells divine.
155
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,312
I got a very sweet welcome.
156
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:14,607
Her photos are accurate, no bad surprises.
157
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:18,528
She's a natural,
loves her work as much as you do.
158
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:19,862
She gets wet, moans...
159
00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:22,448
She gave one of the best BJs ever.
160
00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:26,244
Deep throat. Sucks like
she hasn't had cock in months.
161
00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:28,579
She's ravenous, loves it.
162
00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:31,374
No DATY, I don't know why.
163
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:33,459
She has the prettiest pussy.
164
00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:35,044
Clean, shaven.
165
00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:38,089
She said she never accepts being eaten.
166
00:21:38,339 --> 00:21:42,260
You should see her ass doing doggy.
Anal costs more.
167
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:45,388
Cumshot, she swallowed every drop.
168
00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:47,765
Beautiful eyes you can get lost in.
169
00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:49,767
Guys, treat her well."
170
00:22:27,597 --> 00:22:29,140
I like making love with you.
171
00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:32,518
So do I.
172
00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:37,482
I'm glad I found you.
173
00:22:43,154 --> 00:22:43,988
Do you love me?
174
00:22:48,117 --> 00:22:48,951
Yes.
175
00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:51,704
You?
176
00:22:54,082 --> 00:22:54,916
Yes.
177
00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:59,420
I'm not a good girl, but I love you.
178
00:23:03,633 --> 00:23:05,134
I'm not a good boy, but I love you.
179
00:23:31,077 --> 00:23:33,204
We're in love!
180
00:23:34,038 --> 00:23:37,416
We're in love!
181
00:24:13,536 --> 00:24:14,704
During this stage,
182
00:24:15,580 --> 00:24:20,126
we lived the exaltation of our highs
and the crash of early mornings.
183
00:24:27,717 --> 00:24:32,138
Your hand, bigger than god,
knew how to hit without hurting me.
184
00:25:07,798 --> 00:25:11,594
-Not the sun, Frankie! The sun's rising.
-Come, vampire!
185
00:25:18,726 --> 00:25:19,602
What's the plan?
186
00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:22,021
Go to sleep?
187
00:25:23,773 --> 00:25:24,690
Fuck sleep.
188
00:25:26,692 --> 00:25:28,277
What time does Fred's dealer quit?
189
00:25:28,611 --> 00:25:29,445
Six o'clock.
190
00:25:30,321 --> 00:25:32,240
-It's 5:47.
-Let's call him!
191
00:25:34,116 --> 00:25:35,785
Take me away, my steed!
192
00:26:52,611 --> 00:26:54,113
Suzanne!
193
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,868
-Everything's good?
-Marvelous.
194
00:26:58,951 --> 00:26:59,994
How many drinks?
195
00:27:00,786 --> 00:27:01,620
Just enough.
196
00:27:06,876 --> 00:27:08,336
Guillaume Rival's here.
197
00:27:08,669 --> 00:27:11,630
A rising star.
A genius, pure and simple.
198
00:27:12,006 --> 00:27:14,133
The genius of the century, I'd say.
199
00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:22,808
-Where you going?
-To meet this genius.
200
00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:23,809
Are you sure?
201
00:29:12,877 --> 00:29:15,296
It all happens to someone else.
202
00:29:21,260 --> 00:29:22,094
I'm there,
203
00:29:23,387 --> 00:29:24,430
just next to myself.
204
00:29:28,893 --> 00:29:30,227
I'm there watching,
205
00:29:33,314 --> 00:29:34,815
but it's not really me.
206
00:29:39,487 --> 00:29:40,529
I watch her.
207
00:29:42,865 --> 00:29:45,659
I see her talking, drinking,
208
00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:48,537
dancing, fucking,
209
00:29:49,330 --> 00:29:50,164
laughing,
210
00:29:51,832 --> 00:29:52,666
crying.
211
00:29:57,546 --> 00:29:59,381
I see this blonde woman,
212
00:30:00,508 --> 00:30:03,135
lying on the couch facing her analyst.
213
00:30:06,889 --> 00:30:08,265
But I'm not that woman.
214
00:30:13,771 --> 00:30:15,814
Though I play that woman well.
215
00:30:25,032 --> 00:30:26,408
I need to be seen,
216
00:30:28,577 --> 00:30:30,162
but it's not me I reveal.
217
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:34,458
So I disappear a bit.
218
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:39,338
Do you understand?
219
00:30:45,427 --> 00:30:47,346
I appear to disappear.
220
00:30:53,644 --> 00:30:54,478
Felix,
221
00:30:55,229 --> 00:30:56,230
from math class.
222
00:30:57,064 --> 00:30:59,733
-So you two are dating?
-Yes.
223
00:31:00,150 --> 00:31:01,902
-Since when?
-Monday.
224
00:31:02,194 --> 00:31:04,446
He left me a letter in my locker.
225
00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:06,073
-He did?
-He said
226
00:31:06,365 --> 00:31:08,367
I'm the prettiest girl in class.
227
00:31:09,285 --> 00:31:12,079
-That's so random!
-No, it isn't.
228
00:31:12,663 --> 00:31:17,626
Anyway, Tuesday after school
we went to the handball court.
229
00:31:18,460 --> 00:31:19,545
-By yourselves?
-Yeah.
230
00:31:20,754 --> 00:31:21,797
Did you French?
231
00:31:22,798 --> 00:31:23,632
Yes.
232
00:31:24,049 --> 00:31:26,552
That, and lots of other stuff.
233
00:31:32,141 --> 00:31:33,809
Come on. What?
234
00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:37,855
Well...
235
00:31:39,315 --> 00:31:40,149
He touched me.
236
00:31:43,861 --> 00:31:44,695
The...
237
00:31:44,987 --> 00:31:46,238
Over your shirt?
238
00:31:47,197 --> 00:31:48,032
No!
239
00:31:48,991 --> 00:31:49,825
Under it.
240
00:31:52,077 --> 00:31:53,120
And what else?
241
00:31:54,413 --> 00:31:55,414
It's personal.
242
00:31:56,540 --> 00:31:57,374
Come on!
243
00:31:58,334 --> 00:31:59,168
What?
244
00:32:01,003 --> 00:32:02,171
He fingered me.
245
00:32:04,757 --> 00:32:06,884
-You wanted him to?
-Sure.
246
00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:10,346
Did it hurt?
247
00:32:11,096 --> 00:32:12,306
No. It was just...
248
00:32:13,098 --> 00:32:13,932
really nice.
249
00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:15,643
Really fun.
250
00:32:16,852 --> 00:32:17,936
When I watched her,
251
00:32:18,854 --> 00:32:20,814
the burning spread from the plexus.
252
00:32:21,857 --> 00:32:25,152
The burning burnt.
The sensation of traumatism.
253
00:32:26,153 --> 00:32:27,154
It flashed on me
254
00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:31,283
in bursts of clarity
that it wasn't her fault if she was she
255
00:32:31,992 --> 00:32:33,619
and I, just me.
256
00:32:34,161 --> 00:32:37,873
As those glimpses of truth
hit me like a thunderbolt,
257
00:32:39,458 --> 00:32:40,876
it was myself I cursed.
258
00:32:42,086 --> 00:32:43,879
And life became even harder.
259
00:32:46,298 --> 00:32:48,884
A literary revelation, here and in France,
260
00:32:49,385 --> 00:32:53,347
the wildly talented young Québécoise
spews her loathing...
261
00:32:53,430 --> 00:32:54,765
-Stop!
-Wait, wait!
262
00:32:55,641 --> 00:32:59,728
Her novel is a litany strewn
with rhetorical flourishes.
263
00:32:59,812 --> 00:33:01,772
Stop, it's unbearable!
264
00:33:03,065 --> 00:33:05,401
Why does it say you're 26 on the cover?
265
00:33:07,611 --> 00:33:08,487
I'm ashamed.
266
00:33:10,531 --> 00:33:12,783
I wanted to be published
before I turned 30.
267
00:33:14,201 --> 00:33:16,829
-You lied about your age?
-I'm so ashamed.
268
00:33:17,371 --> 00:33:18,414
You're amazing.
269
00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:21,417
Your book's great.
270
00:33:23,210 --> 00:33:24,044
Thanks.
271
00:33:33,637 --> 00:33:35,222
You? You're not drinking?
272
00:33:39,977 --> 00:33:40,811
I'm pregnant.
273
00:33:48,694 --> 00:33:49,528
Bravo.
274
00:33:50,154 --> 00:33:50,988
Thanks.
275
00:34:34,948 --> 00:34:36,283
-Yes?
-Mathieu?
276
00:34:37,159 --> 00:34:37,993
It's me.
277
00:34:38,994 --> 00:34:41,079
Hi, what time is it in Montréal?
278
00:34:42,873 --> 00:34:43,707
Late.
279
00:34:44,917 --> 00:34:45,751
Early, actually.
280
00:34:46,543 --> 00:34:48,295
I can't sleep.
281
00:34:50,339 --> 00:34:51,340
What's going on?
282
00:34:53,050 --> 00:34:53,884
Nothing.
283
00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:03,435
I'm happy to hear your voice.
284
00:35:04,978 --> 00:35:05,813
Me too.
285
00:35:08,899 --> 00:35:10,317
How's the book doing?
286
00:35:11,735 --> 00:35:13,362
Incredibly well, as you know.
287
00:35:14,822 --> 00:35:15,864
How well?
288
00:35:17,991 --> 00:35:19,034
Let me repeat it:
289
00:35:19,827 --> 00:35:22,830
We're atop the lists in Québec and France.
290
00:35:24,414 --> 00:35:25,958
We've sold 30,000 copies.
291
00:35:27,376 --> 00:35:28,752
We'll print a second run.
292
00:35:31,797 --> 00:35:32,631
Is that good?
293
00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:38,095
5,000 copies is a bestseller,
so 30,000 is better than good.
294
00:35:40,389 --> 00:35:43,767
-You're sure?
-Yes, it's a hit.
295
00:35:48,856 --> 00:35:50,190
I find it hard to believe.
296
00:36:00,033 --> 00:36:01,660
We make a beautiful duo, babe!
297
00:36:05,038 --> 00:36:08,834
-He was happy, huh?
-Disgustingly happy!
298
00:36:09,376 --> 00:36:13,589
That fat filthy rich
fucking shithole bastard.
299
00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:16,049
One whore's good, two's better!
300
00:36:18,010 --> 00:36:20,512
Has fatso put on even more weight?
301
00:36:20,637 --> 00:36:24,474
Probably. I try not
to look at those pigs.
302
00:36:25,767 --> 00:36:26,727
Hand me my cash.
303
00:36:31,231 --> 00:36:33,025
He always has you finish him.
304
00:36:33,191 --> 00:36:37,195
-No idea why. Count yourself lucky.
-At least he's fast.
305
00:36:37,404 --> 00:36:39,865
Exactly. You came, now beat it, man!
306
00:36:40,198 --> 00:36:41,909
He insists on his full hour.
307
00:36:42,409 --> 00:36:43,911
He's a businessman.
308
00:36:44,286 --> 00:36:47,289
We put on a great show.
He keeps coming back.
309
00:36:48,999 --> 00:36:50,000
You lick really well.
310
00:36:50,792 --> 00:36:53,253
Yeah? I'm never sure what to do.
311
00:36:53,462 --> 00:36:57,591
No, you're good. Your fingers, tongue.
Really not bad, no joke.
312
00:36:58,592 --> 00:37:01,261
-When I moaned it wasn't all an act.
-Really?
313
00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:04,973
If fatso wasn't there,
I think I'd come for real.
314
00:37:06,892 --> 00:37:08,852
How 'bout another try?
315
00:37:09,478 --> 00:37:10,562
Please, sweetie!
316
00:37:10,646 --> 00:37:12,689
-Silly!
-C'mon, I'll pay you!
317
00:38:42,112 --> 00:38:44,322
It was a new world. I was captivated.
318
00:38:45,907 --> 00:38:47,075
In my captivity,
319
00:38:47,993 --> 00:38:49,494
I suffered like a martyr.
320
00:38:52,289 --> 00:38:54,041
Something inside me broke.
321
00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:59,921
Something ripped in two
like a tree trunk split by lightning.
322
00:39:01,006 --> 00:39:02,632
I swear that at that moment,
323
00:39:03,884 --> 00:39:05,927
I heard it crack in pain.
324
00:40:18,375 --> 00:40:21,795
After our session last week
I walked home. It was dusk.
325
00:40:27,008 --> 00:40:29,928
A few streets from home
I saw a man laying bricks.
326
00:40:32,347 --> 00:40:35,100
He was wearing a tank top and work boots.
327
00:40:39,479 --> 00:40:40,313
He was sweating.
328
00:40:41,898 --> 00:40:42,899
His hair was filthy.
329
00:40:44,651 --> 00:40:45,485
In fact,
330
00:40:46,611 --> 00:40:48,738
every inch of him was filthy.
331
00:40:52,117 --> 00:40:53,410
I stopped beside him
332
00:40:55,662 --> 00:40:59,082
and asked if he could take a short break
333
00:41:00,792 --> 00:41:02,711
to fuck me in the alleyway
334
00:41:04,004 --> 00:41:05,088
right there.
335
00:41:07,799 --> 00:41:09,384
He looked a bit surprised
336
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:12,053
but did what I wanted.
337
00:41:15,265 --> 00:41:16,391
Exactly.
338
00:41:25,483 --> 00:41:26,860
He followed me to the alley.
339
00:41:27,694 --> 00:41:28,778
He hardly spoke.
340
00:41:30,322 --> 00:41:31,281
Neither did I.
341
00:41:33,575 --> 00:41:34,993
He took me by the neck
342
00:41:37,370 --> 00:41:39,706
and pressed my face
against the damp bricks.
343
00:41:43,168 --> 00:41:44,628
He reached under my skirt
344
00:41:47,672 --> 00:41:49,841
and stuck his fingers in my pussy.
345
00:42:00,352 --> 00:42:01,645
I was dripping wet.
346
00:42:04,648 --> 00:42:06,358
His whole hand was wet.
347
00:42:12,697 --> 00:42:13,865
He was rough.
348
00:42:15,784 --> 00:42:17,953
He never let go of my neck.
349
00:42:20,205 --> 00:42:21,539
He pinned me there.
350
00:42:24,793 --> 00:42:27,045
But I wanted to be pinned down.
351
00:42:31,508 --> 00:42:33,343
He took his cock out of his jeans.
352
00:42:34,135 --> 00:42:36,221
I felt it hard against my ass.
353
00:42:37,347 --> 00:42:38,515
He fucked me,
354
00:42:39,975 --> 00:42:41,059
fast and hard.
355
00:42:42,644 --> 00:42:44,938
He smelled of sweat and wet cement,
356
00:42:46,398 --> 00:42:47,691
a mixture of the two.
357
00:42:58,910 --> 00:43:01,037
I could hear the sounds of the city.
358
00:43:02,497 --> 00:43:03,665
Passers-by,
359
00:43:05,375 --> 00:43:07,127
their banal conversation.
360
00:43:15,468 --> 00:43:17,637
His cock pounded my pussy.
361
00:43:20,098 --> 00:43:21,558
He moaned softly in my ear.
362
00:43:25,603 --> 00:43:26,646
He came fast,
363
00:43:27,272 --> 00:43:28,440
on my thigh.
364
00:43:31,234 --> 00:43:32,944
I felt perfect,
365
00:43:34,988 --> 00:43:36,197
like in a daze.
366
00:43:39,159 --> 00:43:41,369
I pulled up my panties and left.
367
00:43:45,623 --> 00:43:47,792
I couldn't describe his face.
368
00:43:56,676 --> 00:43:58,094
And what...
369
00:44:02,223 --> 00:44:03,933
How do you feel about it?
370
00:44:07,645 --> 00:44:09,689
I needed to belong to someone.
371
00:44:12,901 --> 00:44:14,527
I belong to those who take me.
372
00:44:26,748 --> 00:44:27,707
What are you doing?
373
00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:30,043
I don't want to talk anymore.
374
00:44:38,635 --> 00:44:41,054
Let's be reasonable, OK?
375
00:44:51,022 --> 00:44:52,649
I want you so badly.
376
00:45:00,115 --> 00:45:03,118
-And so do you.
-My wife's right outside.
377
00:45:04,536 --> 00:45:05,495
I know.
378
00:45:10,083 --> 00:45:12,127
No, stop it! Stop.
379
00:45:42,240 --> 00:45:43,324
Pretty good waist.
380
00:45:47,412 --> 00:45:48,955
Nice line of the hips.
381
00:45:52,625 --> 00:45:54,961
Your ass is just as it should be.
382
00:45:56,171 --> 00:45:58,631
The finest of the finest.
383
00:46:09,225 --> 00:46:11,186
Your breasts are starting to sag a bit.
384
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:20,570
Legs, knees, belly...
385
00:46:21,696 --> 00:46:22,655
No complaints.
386
00:46:26,993 --> 00:46:29,954
You have everything you need
where you need it.
387
00:46:53,811 --> 00:46:55,230
How have you been since last time?
388
00:46:55,730 --> 00:46:56,564
Fine.
389
00:46:58,024 --> 00:46:59,192
You haven't changed jobs?
390
00:46:59,526 --> 00:47:00,360
No.
391
00:47:04,614 --> 00:47:06,074
How many clients do you see?
392
00:47:07,867 --> 00:47:09,160
Ten or twenty a week.
393
00:47:12,372 --> 00:47:15,708
You always use protection, no matter what?
394
00:47:18,044 --> 00:47:19,921
-Yes.
-For oral sex too?
395
00:47:22,173 --> 00:47:23,007
Yes?
396
00:47:23,758 --> 00:47:24,592
Not always.
397
00:47:26,844 --> 00:47:28,596
You've never been treated
for an STD?
398
00:47:29,264 --> 00:47:30,098
No.
399
00:47:34,102 --> 00:47:34,936
Are you pregnant?
400
00:47:36,145 --> 00:47:36,980
No.
401
00:47:40,233 --> 00:47:43,152
Noticed any changes
in your health recently?
402
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:45,154
No.
403
00:47:50,243 --> 00:47:51,828
Alright, let's examine you.
404
00:47:53,288 --> 00:47:54,455
Put this on, I'll be back.
405
00:48:00,003 --> 00:48:01,713
I prefer the biggest number.
406
00:48:03,298 --> 00:48:04,882
The accumulation of clients,
407
00:48:05,425 --> 00:48:06,426
professors,
408
00:48:07,135 --> 00:48:08,886
doctors, psychoanalysts.
409
00:48:09,554 --> 00:48:10,930
Each one has a specialty,
410
00:48:12,140 --> 00:48:14,976
busying himself
with one part of me or another,
411
00:48:15,893 --> 00:48:18,396
for the healthy development of the whole.
412
00:48:20,481 --> 00:48:22,442
One man in my life would be dangerous;
413
00:48:24,235 --> 00:48:26,487
too much hatred in me for one head.
414
00:48:28,197 --> 00:48:29,741
I need the planet,
415
00:48:31,451 --> 00:48:33,244
the full range of humankind.
416
00:51:13,571 --> 00:51:15,239
Since you didn't look at me,
417
00:51:16,407 --> 00:51:18,493
I placed myself in your gaze.
418
00:51:59,408 --> 00:52:00,243
Hello.
419
00:52:03,579 --> 00:52:05,373
Thanks for agreeing to meet me.
420
00:52:05,748 --> 00:52:06,749
My pleasure.
421
00:52:07,959 --> 00:52:09,460
I'm a huge admirer.
422
00:52:10,211 --> 00:52:12,255
Everyone at the magazine is.
423
00:52:13,089 --> 00:52:13,923
Thank you.
424
00:52:15,132 --> 00:52:17,885
A new novel,
you must be feeling the pressure.
425
00:52:19,512 --> 00:52:20,346
Why?
426
00:52:21,222 --> 00:52:26,018
Sales, reviews, nominations for Europe's
most prestigious literary awards...
427
00:52:26,853 --> 00:52:28,771
You must dream of repeating that.
428
00:52:30,815 --> 00:52:32,441
I'd prefer to have won the awards.
429
00:52:37,238 --> 00:52:40,449
People buy my novel
for my face on the front cover.
430
00:52:41,576 --> 00:52:42,660
But do they read it?
431
00:52:44,036 --> 00:52:44,871
I don't know.
432
00:52:46,372 --> 00:52:47,415
That's rather dark.
433
00:52:50,376 --> 00:52:53,921
I feel like it's sort of a mess.
434
00:52:55,923 --> 00:52:58,759
The mess is part
of my vision of the world.
435
00:52:59,969 --> 00:53:01,053
What do you mean?
436
00:53:06,392 --> 00:53:07,643
There are too many watching.
437
00:53:09,729 --> 00:53:12,773
reflecting back my beauty or my ugliness,
438
00:53:12,899 --> 00:53:14,650
my talent or my stupidity.
439
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:17,278
I am lost,
440
00:53:20,197 --> 00:53:23,576
knowing people think things about me
441
00:53:23,659 --> 00:53:25,703
over which I have no control...
It's very upsetting.
442
00:53:28,164 --> 00:53:30,041
It's part of the mess.
443
00:53:30,917 --> 00:53:32,209
And what do they think?
444
00:53:34,420 --> 00:53:35,379
I don't know.
445
00:53:36,964 --> 00:53:38,090
I don't want to know.
446
00:53:42,887 --> 00:53:45,097
Maybe I shouldn't have exposed myself.
447
00:53:48,601 --> 00:53:51,228
I think I don't like
being exposed, in fact.
448
00:53:54,857 --> 00:53:56,442
Now I keep a low profile.
449
00:53:58,069 --> 00:53:59,987
Success must have calmed you down?
450
00:54:02,907 --> 00:54:04,992
I lost something with that book.
451
00:54:07,954 --> 00:54:08,955
I have the impression
452
00:54:10,706 --> 00:54:12,291
something's been soiled.
453
00:54:14,961 --> 00:54:16,671
I think it's starting to kick in.
454
00:54:21,092 --> 00:54:21,926
I'm sorry.
455
00:54:26,263 --> 00:54:27,264
Do you want to go on?
456
00:54:31,018 --> 00:54:32,603
What is your next novel about?
457
00:54:42,321 --> 00:54:43,155
Mathieu?
458
00:54:46,283 --> 00:54:48,285
What if my new book doesn't sell?
459
00:54:49,745 --> 00:54:51,872
Don't worry, it'll all go fine.
460
00:54:53,541 --> 00:54:55,459
But if it doesn't, what'll we do?
461
00:54:57,378 --> 00:55:00,589
Well, nothing. What can we do?
462
00:55:02,299 --> 00:55:04,176
But if no one likes what I wrote?
463
00:55:07,555 --> 00:55:08,597
I like it.
464
00:55:09,140 --> 00:55:09,974
I'm here.
465
00:55:10,599 --> 00:55:12,518
I'll be there, I always will.
466
00:55:15,604 --> 00:55:16,814
You won't abandon me?
467
00:55:17,940 --> 00:55:18,774
Never.
468
00:55:21,110 --> 00:55:22,820
And if the critics demolish me?
469
00:55:23,904 --> 00:55:28,159
First, critics demolish books,
they don't demolish you.
470
00:55:30,494 --> 00:55:32,121
You know it's the same thing.
471
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:34,165
It won't happen.
472
00:55:40,796 --> 00:55:42,631
I can't breathe, Mathieu.
473
00:55:44,675 --> 00:55:46,177
It's absolutely suffocating.
474
00:55:55,811 --> 00:55:57,521
I missed you, Cynthia.
475
00:55:59,106 --> 00:55:59,982
Me too.
476
00:56:02,193 --> 00:56:03,319
You're really beautiful.
477
00:56:05,404 --> 00:56:06,322
Thanks.
478
00:56:09,575 --> 00:56:11,243
Am I your favorite john?
479
00:56:14,789 --> 00:56:17,792
I think so. You're one of my best, yes.
480
00:56:21,212 --> 00:56:24,381
Turn over, I want to take you from behind.
481
00:56:26,383 --> 00:56:27,343
OK.
482
00:56:41,482 --> 00:56:42,483
You're beautiful.
483
00:56:43,109 --> 00:56:44,276
You're so beautiful!
484
00:56:48,072 --> 00:56:50,157
-I'll fuck you in the ass, OK?
-No.
485
00:56:51,075 --> 00:56:52,326
Come on, Cynthia.
486
00:56:53,077 --> 00:56:54,078
No.
487
00:56:54,745 --> 00:56:56,080
I'll pay you extra.
488
00:56:56,705 --> 00:56:57,540
I don't want to.
489
00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:00,876
I'll give you $100 more.
490
00:57:02,503 --> 00:57:03,337
No.
491
00:57:04,296 --> 00:57:05,131
Two hundred.
492
00:57:09,218 --> 00:57:10,052
OK.
493
00:57:12,972 --> 00:57:13,806
Thank you.
494
00:57:18,561 --> 00:57:19,728
I won't hurt you.
495
00:57:28,904 --> 00:57:29,822
It's so good.
496
00:57:32,283 --> 00:57:33,284
Tell me you like it.
497
00:57:36,871 --> 00:57:37,705
Say it.
498
00:57:56,140 --> 00:57:58,058
-Hello?
-Where are you?
499
00:57:59,685 --> 00:58:00,519
At home.
500
00:58:01,020 --> 00:58:04,565
What the fuck?
Your first client was at 8. He's mad.
501
00:58:07,401 --> 00:58:08,444
I'm sorry.
502
00:58:16,911 --> 00:58:18,495
I think I want out.
503
00:58:24,335 --> 00:58:25,794
Get some rest.
504
00:58:26,962 --> 00:58:29,173
I'll find a replacement
for you today.
505
00:58:35,095 --> 00:58:36,347
OK, no. I'll come.
506
00:58:36,722 --> 00:58:37,556
You sure?
507
00:58:39,391 --> 00:58:40,226
Yeah.
508
00:58:46,690 --> 00:58:50,236
I'd describe the beauty
of the world if I could see it.
509
00:58:51,612 --> 00:58:55,950
Write how faith and courage
can overcome the worst misfortunes.
510
00:58:57,826 --> 00:58:59,912
But I'm too busy dying.
511
00:59:01,705 --> 00:59:03,332
We have to cut to the chase,
512
00:59:04,667 --> 00:59:05,876
to what's killing me.
513
00:59:14,385 --> 00:59:16,679
Good, it'll be simple. Come with me.
514
00:59:18,055 --> 00:59:20,266
Maybe my mouth too.
515
00:59:21,642 --> 00:59:23,811
I'd like a mouth with more punch.
516
00:59:25,688 --> 00:59:27,064
It's really not necessary.
517
00:59:28,107 --> 00:59:29,024
That's kind.
518
00:59:30,150 --> 00:59:31,443
But just a bit, OK?
519
00:59:32,569 --> 00:59:33,404
Come.
520
00:59:40,953 --> 00:59:42,454
It'll heal fast.
521
00:59:54,341 --> 00:59:56,969
Can you stay with me tonight?
522
00:59:59,263 --> 01:00:00,097
Yes.
523
01:00:23,579 --> 01:00:24,413
Suzanne?
524
01:00:25,622 --> 01:00:26,457
Yes?
525
01:00:30,919 --> 01:00:32,713
The tragedy, when people love you,
526
01:00:34,465 --> 01:00:35,966
is they can stop loving you
527
01:00:39,511 --> 01:00:40,596
at any moment.
528
01:02:11,478 --> 01:02:12,312
Hi, Patrick.
529
01:02:13,772 --> 01:02:14,606
Hi.
530
01:02:14,857 --> 01:02:16,066
I'm happy to meet you.
531
01:02:16,442 --> 01:02:17,276
Me too.
532
01:02:55,147 --> 01:02:56,440
OK, you like it rough.
533
01:03:03,030 --> 01:03:03,989
So do I.
534
01:03:11,622 --> 01:03:12,831
Not too rough, OK?
535
01:03:15,125 --> 01:03:17,169
Don't speak. Don't speak.
536
01:03:40,609 --> 01:03:41,443
That's so good.
537
01:04:05,175 --> 01:04:06,468
What are you doing?
538
01:04:06,843 --> 01:04:07,678
Stop!
539
01:04:08,303 --> 01:04:09,221
Stop!
540
01:04:12,683 --> 01:04:13,809
Don't scream.
541
01:04:36,665 --> 01:04:38,333
-Hello.
-Hello.
542
01:04:38,625 --> 01:04:41,295
I have a delivery for you.
Sign here please.
543
01:04:47,342 --> 01:04:48,176
Thank you.
544
01:04:51,930 --> 01:04:54,099
-Are you alright, Madame?
-Sure.
545
01:04:56,143 --> 01:04:58,687
I really like your work.
I'm a big admirer.
546
01:04:59,980 --> 01:05:00,814
Thanks very much.
547
01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:05,444
Your first novel's still my favorite,
but I like all your books.
548
01:05:06,987 --> 01:05:07,821
Thank you.
549
01:05:08,655 --> 01:05:10,157
Are you working on something?
550
01:05:11,700 --> 01:05:12,534
Yeah.
551
01:05:13,994 --> 01:05:15,078
Can't wait to read it.
552
01:05:18,165 --> 01:05:19,458
I have to find the ending.
553
01:05:21,418 --> 01:05:22,252
OK.
554
01:05:23,587 --> 01:05:24,421
Thank you.
555
01:05:26,590 --> 01:05:27,424
Thanks.
556
01:05:55,327 --> 01:05:56,745
Aren't you coming?
557
01:06:00,332 --> 01:06:01,667
Who's that bitch?
558
01:06:05,671 --> 01:06:06,505
What?
559
01:06:10,676 --> 01:06:12,511
Leave with that slut if you want.
560
01:06:16,473 --> 01:06:17,599
What's going on?
561
01:06:19,893 --> 01:06:21,186
We're waiting for you.
562
01:06:23,188 --> 01:06:24,815
We're all having fun.
563
01:06:30,070 --> 01:06:31,530
Don't touch me!
564
01:06:34,866 --> 01:06:36,284
OK, I don't get it.
565
01:06:37,035 --> 01:06:39,579
I saw you with that fat cow!
566
01:06:41,665 --> 01:06:43,166
I saw you!
567
01:06:47,587 --> 01:06:48,880
You're fucking nuts.
568
01:06:49,131 --> 01:06:50,882
I saw you!
569
01:06:54,886 --> 01:06:57,806
-I saw you, shit!
-How much have you drunk?
570
01:07:08,692 --> 01:07:10,277
It's time to end it for real.
571
01:07:12,696 --> 01:07:13,572
This isn't fun anymore.
572
01:07:56,114 --> 01:07:57,282
What'll I do with her?
573
01:08:03,747 --> 01:08:05,081
I don't know what to do with her.
574
01:08:08,668 --> 01:08:09,878
I haven't found the ending.
575
01:08:12,881 --> 01:08:14,216
Will I have to kill her?
576
01:08:16,593 --> 01:08:18,136
I can't really have to kill her.
577
01:08:20,972 --> 01:08:22,224
I'll have to kill them.
578
01:08:26,186 --> 01:08:29,689
I'll make my death a poster
that will multiply on walls.
579
01:08:31,817 --> 01:08:33,860
I'll die like you die on stage,
580
01:08:35,237 --> 01:08:36,822
in a storm of emotion.
581
01:08:56,842 --> 01:09:00,136
I expected that you'd still love me
or that you'd kill me.
582
01:09:02,722 --> 01:09:04,182
Because you are so great,
583
01:09:05,100 --> 01:09:07,269
I expected something grandiose.
584
01:09:33,086 --> 01:09:34,462
When death comes,
585
01:09:35,171 --> 01:09:36,506
I don't want to be there.
586
01:09:52,022 --> 01:09:52,939
If you move,
587
01:09:55,191 --> 01:09:56,109
you're dead.
588
01:10:19,966 --> 01:10:22,344
What are you doing? I'm not finished.
589
01:10:29,809 --> 01:10:30,810
Crazy bitch!
590
01:10:58,964 --> 01:11:01,257
In the end what counts is the crash,
591
01:11:02,258 --> 01:11:03,551
the place of my defeat,
592
01:11:05,053 --> 01:11:08,765
when chance gives way,
and the actions embodying me
593
01:11:08,848 --> 01:11:10,934
finally have me on a leash,
594
01:11:11,810 --> 01:11:13,436
forcing me toward my end.
595
01:11:15,438 --> 01:11:17,941
I will lower my body into death,
596
01:11:19,567 --> 01:11:21,569
where my soul already lies.
597
01:12:40,648 --> 01:12:42,317
You have to eat, miss.
598
01:12:42,901 --> 01:12:44,486
You're thin as a coffin nail.
599
01:12:45,361 --> 01:12:46,196
Go on!
600
01:13:04,255 --> 01:13:05,256
Mathieu...
601
01:13:21,397 --> 01:13:22,398
Let's walk a bit.
602
01:13:36,621 --> 01:13:37,622
Get me out of here.
603
01:13:38,790 --> 01:13:39,624
Do you dislike it?
604
01:13:41,793 --> 01:13:44,379
Only the insane like being in an asylum.
605
01:13:46,131 --> 01:13:47,507
It's not an asylum,
606
01:13:48,424 --> 01:13:49,676
it's a rest home.
607
01:13:50,885 --> 01:13:52,095
I've rested enough.
608
01:13:54,430 --> 01:13:55,306
I feel better.
609
01:13:57,058 --> 01:13:59,227
I'm happy to hear it. Really.
610
01:14:01,229 --> 01:14:02,480
I'm not like them.
611
01:14:04,315 --> 01:14:06,234
I'll truly go crazy if I stay.
612
01:14:08,862 --> 01:14:10,196
Get me out of here.
613
01:16:14,696 --> 01:16:15,863
What are you doing?
614
01:16:19,867 --> 01:16:21,119
You saved my life.
615
01:16:36,676 --> 01:16:37,593
What are you doing?
616
01:17:08,124 --> 01:17:09,334
You saved my life.
617
01:17:59,801 --> 01:18:00,760
I missed you.
618
01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:05,598
Me too.
619
01:18:10,645 --> 01:18:12,105
We'll be good to each other.
620
01:18:15,775 --> 01:18:16,609
Yes.
621
01:18:21,531 --> 01:18:22,698
I can't live without you.
622
01:18:27,078 --> 01:18:28,162
Neither can I.
623
01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:33,835
OK.
624
01:18:35,878 --> 01:18:38,047
Now don't freak out.
625
01:18:42,385 --> 01:18:43,344
What is it?
626
01:18:47,140 --> 01:18:49,183
I want us to stay together.
627
01:18:51,018 --> 01:18:52,103
OK...
628
01:19:00,695 --> 01:19:01,779
Will you marry me?
629
01:19:04,782 --> 01:19:05,616
What?
630
01:19:05,992 --> 01:19:10,788
We can get engaged,
and get married next year and have kids.
631
01:19:12,206 --> 01:19:15,334
Ideally you'd be
this pregnant at the altar.
632
01:19:17,503 --> 01:19:18,921
You want to marry me?
633
01:19:20,047 --> 01:19:23,551
-You're crazy!
-I know. I don't understand.
634
01:19:25,344 --> 01:19:26,721
I want us to be together.
635
01:19:28,723 --> 01:19:30,641
Come on, we've dicked around enough.
636
01:19:32,310 --> 01:19:33,269
Will you say yes?
637
01:19:35,980 --> 01:19:36,814
Yes.
638
01:19:36,898 --> 01:19:37,732
Yes?
639
01:20:15,269 --> 01:20:18,940
-Mathieu? It's me.
-I'm happy to hear your voice.
640
01:20:19,148 --> 01:20:20,399
-You got home alright?
-Yes.
641
01:20:22,068 --> 01:20:22,902
I'm writing.
642
01:20:23,986 --> 01:20:27,240
-That's great. Are you happy?
-Yes.
643
01:20:27,907 --> 01:20:30,451
I'm writing as I, with strong emotions.
644
01:20:30,910 --> 01:20:32,286
I'm on track, I feel it.
645
01:20:33,287 --> 01:20:34,121
I'm working fast.
646
01:20:34,956 --> 01:20:36,123
That's extraordinary.
647
01:20:36,666 --> 01:20:38,751
I'm so happy.
When can I read it?
648
01:20:39,210 --> 01:20:41,504
I should have a first draft
in 6 months.
649
01:20:48,010 --> 01:20:50,513
-As soon as we're married, we'll stop. OK?
-Yeah.
650
01:20:58,104 --> 01:20:59,355
You have some there.
651
01:21:05,653 --> 01:21:06,904
Come, come, come.
652
01:21:17,331 --> 01:21:18,666
We'll be OK, right?
653
01:21:20,251 --> 01:21:21,794
-Yeah.
-OK.
654
01:21:24,880 --> 01:21:27,341
-Should we invite some people over?
-Sure.
655
01:21:28,759 --> 01:21:29,677
Is that all we have?
656
01:21:31,721 --> 01:21:32,930
Fuck, did you sneak some?
657
01:21:33,598 --> 01:21:34,432
Course not.
658
01:21:34,765 --> 01:21:37,643
I'm sure you had more than me.
It's almost gone.
659
01:21:37,935 --> 01:21:38,769
No.
660
01:21:40,146 --> 01:21:42,898
Like when you shared our coke
with that slut.
661
01:21:43,107 --> 01:21:44,734
Fred's new girlfriend.
662
01:21:44,984 --> 01:21:47,153
It was a party. Everybody shares.
663
01:21:47,612 --> 01:21:48,779
What are you doing?
664
01:21:49,864 --> 01:21:53,075
We can order more
or go out for some. Chill!
665
01:21:53,659 --> 01:21:54,785
What's your problem?
666
01:21:56,454 --> 01:21:58,539
-Why'd you take it all?
-Fuck off!
667
01:21:58,623 --> 01:22:00,291
There are two of us, we share.
668
01:22:01,709 --> 01:22:02,793
Fucking junkie!
669
01:22:04,837 --> 01:22:06,505
You're the fucking junkie.
670
01:22:06,797 --> 01:22:08,841
The fucking whore and the fucking junkie.
671
01:22:13,888 --> 01:22:16,057
Don't you ever push me again.
672
01:22:18,768 --> 01:22:20,061
Christ, you're a cunt!
673
01:22:22,688 --> 01:22:24,023
Christ, you're a dick!
674
01:23:11,946 --> 01:23:13,406
-Hello.
-Hi.
675
01:23:14,156 --> 01:23:15,241
Am I too early?
676
01:23:16,534 --> 01:23:19,120
No, I was expecting you. Come in.
677
01:23:19,245 --> 01:23:20,079
Thanks.
678
01:23:21,372 --> 01:23:23,916
-Thanks for seeing me.
-You're welcome.
679
01:23:24,709 --> 01:23:26,335
We're eager to read your novel.
680
01:23:28,379 --> 01:23:29,714
Can you describe it?
681
01:23:31,716 --> 01:23:32,883
It's a...
682
01:23:34,802 --> 01:23:36,929
I can say that I write with passion.
683
01:23:39,098 --> 01:23:39,932
Good.
684
01:23:41,225 --> 01:23:45,438
You've never matched your early success.
How do you live with that?
685
01:23:47,732 --> 01:23:48,566
What?
686
01:23:50,443 --> 01:23:53,070
Maybe I'm wrong, but I read that
687
01:23:53,154 --> 01:23:57,283
your latest novels sold a tenth
as many copies as the first one
688
01:23:58,325 --> 01:23:59,660
in France and Québec.
689
01:24:02,747 --> 01:24:04,373
Yes, that's possible.
690
01:24:15,843 --> 01:24:18,929
Are you alright? Should we postpone this?
691
01:24:21,390 --> 01:24:22,224
No, that's fine.
692
01:24:30,107 --> 01:24:33,986
From day one, people wanted to know
if what you write is true,
693
01:24:35,696 --> 01:24:37,782
if your books are autobiographical.
694
01:24:40,326 --> 01:24:42,077
People lack imagination.
695
01:24:44,580 --> 01:24:45,414
That's true.
696
01:24:49,293 --> 01:24:52,296
Like in that magnificent passage...
697
01:24:52,421 --> 01:24:55,841
A prostitute jumps from the 20th floor
698
01:24:56,091 --> 01:24:57,927
to escape a dangerous client.
699
01:25:01,972 --> 01:25:03,307
Did I write that?
700
01:25:06,352 --> 01:25:07,186
Yes.
701
01:27:39,463 --> 01:27:43,175
Once upon a time there was a tavern
702
01:27:45,970 --> 01:27:49,390
Where we used to raise a glass or two
703
01:27:53,811 --> 01:27:58,816
Remember how we laughed away the hours
704
01:28:00,776 --> 01:28:05,239
And dreamed of all the great things
We would do
705
01:28:09,493 --> 01:28:12,121
Those were
706
01:28:13,122 --> 01:28:16,583
the days, my friend
707
01:28:17,042 --> 01:28:20,004
We thought they'd never end
708
01:28:20,504 --> 01:28:25,509
We'd sing and dance, forever and a day
709
01:28:28,429 --> 01:28:31,140
We'd live the life we choose
710
01:28:31,932 --> 01:28:34,601
We'd fight and never lose
711
01:28:35,185 --> 01:28:36,979
For we were young
712
01:28:39,481 --> 01:28:41,817
and sure to have our way
713
01:30:41,311 --> 01:30:43,772
I haven't confessed for many years.
714
01:30:46,316 --> 01:30:48,610
I'm not exactly sure what to do.
715
01:30:52,072 --> 01:30:54,158
I've done many stupid things.
716
01:30:56,160 --> 01:30:58,871
I'm too ashamed to tell you the details.
717
01:31:06,336 --> 01:31:07,462
I have the feeling...
718
01:31:10,424 --> 01:31:12,217
that everything is killing me.
719
01:31:15,596 --> 01:31:16,805
Words kill me.
720
01:31:21,268 --> 01:31:24,188
For a while I thought
writing would save me
721
01:31:26,398 --> 01:31:28,775
but writing took chunks out of me.
722
01:31:33,363 --> 01:31:36,200
Writing brings you too close to death.
723
01:31:42,039 --> 01:31:44,499
I invented Nelly to protect Isabelle,
724
01:31:47,794 --> 01:31:50,005
but I think the opposite happened.
725
01:31:54,843 --> 01:31:57,054
I did things to write about them.
726
01:32:00,724 --> 01:32:02,059
I shouldn't have.
727
01:32:09,775 --> 01:32:11,610
Love kills me too.
728
01:32:15,322 --> 01:32:16,990
Sex kills me.
729
01:32:19,117 --> 01:32:21,245
Beauty, ugliness,
730
01:32:22,829 --> 01:32:23,830
success,
731
01:32:25,374 --> 01:32:26,458
failure...
732
01:32:30,504 --> 01:32:32,881
I feel myself dying in everything I do.
733
01:32:50,983 --> 01:32:53,151
But now I'd like to move on.
734
01:33:04,496 --> 01:33:06,290
I'd like to feel better.
735
01:34:15,817 --> 01:34:21,281
ISABELLE FORTIER ENDED HER LIFE
ON 24 SEPTEMBER 2009 AT THE AGE OF 36.
736
01:34:21,365 --> 01:34:23,825
SHE PUBLISHED FOUR NOVELS,
ONE POSTHUMOUSLY.
737
01:34:26,828 --> 01:34:33,835
WE SINCERELY THANK HER FAMILY,
FRIENDS AND ALL THOSE WHO LOVED HER.
44965
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