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1
00:00:00,459 --> 00:00:02,669
Growing up, I hated sports.
2
00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:05,672
It wasn't just that I was unathletic
and uncoordinated, but...
3
00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:07,841
Yeah, okay, that was most of it.
4
00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:09,551
Why are the halls bustling?
5
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,054
Everyone's pumped for Friday's
big game against Germantown.
6
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:14,681
It's the one day the jocks
high-five me instead of low-two me.
7
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:17,100
- What's a low-two?
- Ah, nice try!
8
00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:18,685
That court document is sealed.
9
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:21,522
I'm gonna face-paint a football on
one cheek and a helmet on the other.
10
00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:22,898
Or more likely,
just wear something blue.
11
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,900
Is this about barbaric football?
12
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,109
Adam, this is a big deal.
13
00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:27,319
It's the seniors' last game
14
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:28,695
and a memory that they'll share forever.
15
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,322
Good luck having any memories
16
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,366
with so many traumatic head injuries!
17
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:33,909
Excuse me?
18
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:37,287
There they are,
my cognitively awesome bros.
19
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:38,539
We're too pumped up to even hear
20
00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:39,873
your high-pitched voice right now!
21
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,416
Germantown's going down!
22
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:42,876
Quaker football for life!
23
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,044
Chest bump!
24
00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:46,338
Wha!
25
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,756
Uh, hello?
26
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,008
Our chests are waiting to be bumped.
27
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,469
Thank you, no.
But I will give you an actor's bow.
28
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:54,680
And it's happening!
29
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,807
Mr. Goldberg, off the floor.
30
00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,684
This is a school, not a street corner.
31
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:00,394
Break-dance on your own time.
32
00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:02,020
Principal Ball, you're all riled up
33
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,188
about this dumb game, too?
34
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,190
Hell to the yes!
35
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,192
This is the one day of the year
36
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:08,944
we put our Quaker values aside
37
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,572
and hope that Germantown's
quarterback tears his ACL.
38
00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:12,948
This is been a healthy give and take.
39
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:16,451
No, no, no, no, no.
I need you to film the game.
40
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:20,247
Yeah, our AV teacher is going to a
wedding in Ann Arbor this weekend,
41
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:22,708
leaving Friday and taking
the whole day off.
42
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,209
Sometimes you need a travel day.
43
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,253
Don't take his side.
He's not even a groomsman.
44
00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:27,963
Sports aren't really my thing.
45
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:31,550
You know, that nice
admissions lady from NYU
46
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:34,386
would just hate to hear that
one of their wait-listed students
47
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:35,637
passed up a chance
48
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:38,390
to be of service because
it wasn't his "thing."
49
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,267
Since when do you play hardball, Ball?
50
00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:43,020
Since we haven't beat
Germantown since 1924!
51
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,981
And, yeah, back then, the game
was called "Who's Got the Peanut?"
52
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,691
and women weren't allowed in the stands,
53
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,860
but this is our year!
54
00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:51,486
Fine, I'll film the thing.
55
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,989
Attaboy! Germantown is going down!
56
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,407
Hey, chest bump!
57
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:56,700
Not again! Whoa!
58
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,618
♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
59
00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:02,164
♪ But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say ♪
60
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,499
Subs by kinglouisxx
for www.addic7ed.com
61
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:05,792
♪ I don't know the future ♪
62
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:09,630
♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪
63
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:12,382
It was October 13th, 1980-something.
64
00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:14,760
With Erica engaged
and living with Geoff,
65
00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:17,179
it was time to clean out
her childhood bedroom.
66
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,014
Keep. Ugh, big toss.
67
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,557
Bup-bup.
68
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,476
Strawberry Shortcake, Erica?
69
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:23,935
For shame.
70
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,854
You've been sniffing her
since you were six.
71
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,689
Mmm.
72
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,107
Fruit baby.
73
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,109
Never mind, I'll just put her
on my keep pile.
74
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,111
You realize puttineverything
from my trash pile
75
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,030
into your keep pile makes
all this pointless?
76
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,531
I got a system,
77
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,784
which is not to let my baby
flush her precious memories
78
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,077
down the toilet.
79
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,204
Mom, it's obvious you're really upset
80
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,789
because your most attractive child
81
00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:46,083
will never live under
your roof again. Ever.
82
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,959
You'll be back, because I still have
83
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,795
the one thing you need most.
84
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,963
- Money?
- B.L.C.
85
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:53,340
Bever-Loving-Care.
86
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,592
You may want to try money.
87
00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:00,013
Jane Bales.
88
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,473
I didn't say your name three times
89
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:02,516
while looking in a mirror.
90
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:03,850
Beverly.
91
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:06,311
I see you still haven't
updated your decor...
92
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,105
Or face.
93
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:09,481
Is there something you needed,
94
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,275
or do goblins just
trick-or-treat year-round?
95
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:14,903
As you know, I have
a thriving real estate empire,
96
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:18,031
hence the gold jacket, which
exudes opulence and success.
97
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,908
And doesn't at all make you look like
98
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,493
a valet from Atlantic City.
99
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,995
I'm not letting you sell my home.
100
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,872
This moldy box of off-brand furniture?
101
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,290
Oh, God, no.
102
00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:28,959
I'm the agent for the house next door,
103
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,377
and I need you to mow your lawn.
104
00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:32,423
- Our lawn is fine.
- Fine?
105
00:03:32,509 --> 00:03:34,047
I keep thinking Shoeless Joe Jackson's
106
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:35,549
going to come out of it
and play baseball.
107
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,551
Wait, Arnie Wofsy's moving?
108
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:40,303
To Palm Springs. Well, Palm Desert.
109
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,431
People say it's the same, but it is not.
110
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:43,974
So there's an open house?
111
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:45,809
Yes, but steer clear.
112
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,352
I don't want any potential buyers
113
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,479
to meet the riffraff
they share a fence with.
114
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,369
You get it. You've seen you.
115
00:03:51,471 --> 00:03:52,524
Ta.
116
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,154
Murray, Wofsy's moving.
117
00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:58,321
What the hell's a Wofsy?
118
00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:00,031
You know Arnie Wofsy.
119
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:02,033
He's lived next door to us for 20 years.
120
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,494
That guy's a putz. He's got my rake.
121
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,830
Well, you can ask for it back
at the open house.
122
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,707
It's the last shot I have to quietly
123
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,834
judge the inside before
someone moves in.
124
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,086
You mean I gotta get up and
walk all the way next door?
125
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:14,254
And put on shoes.
126
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,590
Oh, it just keeps getting worse.
127
00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:20,218
And so, my mom dragged
my dad to the open house next door.
128
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:23,597
Oh, my God. Can you believe this place?
129
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:26,516
They even have a drawer
just for batteries.
130
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:30,520
They got the AAs, the Ds,
and even the square ones.
131
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:33,899
This brochures says there's a pool,
a sauna, and a chef's kitchen
132
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,192
Can you imagine what I would do
133
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:36,860
with meats and cheeses in here?
134
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,195
I already have.
135
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,156
And they got a TV in
the half-bath off the den.
136
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,491
Well, if you like that little fella,
137
00:04:42,623 --> 00:04:44,124
you should check out the media room.
138
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,118
Media room?
139
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:48,246
It is a space dedicated to television.
140
00:04:49,297 --> 00:04:51,124
Complete with sumptuous leather chairs,
141
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:54,294
a full-size fridge, and stadium seating
142
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,671
so that no one can ever block your view.
143
00:04:56,796 --> 00:05:00,050
It's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
144
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:01,968
I know.
145
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,179
I had no idea all this was here.
146
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,306
Why weren't we friendly with the Wofsys?
147
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,183
Friendly? Who wants to be
friendly with their neighbors?
148
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,476
Hello, Goldbergs.
149
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:12,979
Ah, it's the guy from,
uh, the thing that I know.
150
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:14,898
I'm your child's guidance counselor,
151
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,983
John Glascott. You know me.
152
00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:18,109
If you say so.
153
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:19,736
Are you in the market for a new home?
154
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:22,948
Oh, I wish. I'm your classic lookie-loo.
155
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:25,534
I'm currently living above
a Bengali restaurant.
156
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,744
The intense spices permeate my bedroom,
157
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:30,455
causing a rare condition
called "curry eye."
158
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:32,582
Ugh. Now I know things about you.
159
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:33,893
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
160
00:05:34,002 --> 00:05:36,086
- Never have before.
- I want to live here.
161
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,171
- What?
- This house is incredible.
162
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:39,881
The kids are moving out,
but if we live here,
163
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,406
they'll want to move back in.
164
00:05:41,523 --> 00:05:43,149
That doesn't seem like the right reason,
165
00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:44,953
but I do love the media room.
166
00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:46,304
Love is real!
167
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,057
- Murray.
- Wofsy.
168
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,476
Quite a house you have here.
169
00:05:50,586 --> 00:05:52,519
- And?
- We want to buy it.
170
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,646
Way under asking and with
multiple contingencies.
171
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,189
Thank you for accepting.
172
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,149
Not a chance in hell.
173
00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,734
We can negotiate the price.
174
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,319
I would never sell to the likes of you.
175
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:02,362
What is happening?
176
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:05,031
I'll show you to the lovely,
solid mahogany door,
177
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:07,158
which is a real showpiece
for the entryway,
178
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,160
or in your case, the exit way.
179
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,879
- It's an open house.
- It's a closed house.
180
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,915
Dang it! This is
my air-conditioning time.
181
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,334
But why?
We haven't spoken to you in years.
182
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:17,896
Ask your husband.
183
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,589
Come to think of it,
184
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,675
it might have been me
that took his rake.
185
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:24,593
You better fix it.
186
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,428
I want this house, Murray.
187
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:27,721
Oh, my.
188
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,431
I came for the fresh-baked cookies,
189
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:32,142
but I'm leaving with fresh-baked drama.
190
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:33,977
And a cookie.
191
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,437
As my mom's dream was crushed,
192
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,814
I was ready to crush
my video assignment.
193
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:41,151
Go, physically gifted people
who live in my area!
194
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:42,986
You sure you're going to be
able to follow all the action?
195
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:46,615
Uh, I've seen Wildcats
with Goldie Hawn, so maybe.
196
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,158
You make everything less fun.
197
00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:49,492
We're gonna go find a seat.
198
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:50,702
What's wrong with up here?
199
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,245
Sorry, babe.
The top row of the bleachers
200
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,663
is for weirdos and oddballs.
201
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,582
- And superfans!
- No, Barry!
202
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,083
You graduated three years ago.
203
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,960
This is the alumni section...
204
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,754
Former students and honored graduates
205
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,339
who've gone on to make
something of themselves
206
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:03,757
and like to give back.
207
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:05,008
Give back?
208
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,593
What could you possibly have to offer?
209
00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:08,678
My encouraging screams.
210
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:11,014
And we are seconds away, folks.
211
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:14,684
I had to admit, that night,
there was an energy in the air.
212
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,354
Had I been wrong? Were sports exciting?
213
00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:20,482
And here is the kickoff!
214
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:21,942
Germantown...
215
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:23,276
Does not return.
216
00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:24,903
Nah. It was boring as hell.
217
00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:26,279
Here's the snap.
218
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:27,906
Nope. Dead ball.
219
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,699
Oh, so slow.
220
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:32,243
Which led me to get distracted
by just about anything.
221
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:35,205
I have to say it,
that is a handsome pigeon.
222
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,791
My Spanish teacher's really
mowing down that snow cone.
223
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,293
That dude in the opposite
stands looks like Carl Weathers.
224
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:43,588
Scoreboard zoom! Ee-ooh-ee-ooh.
225
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,090
Hot pigeon is back!
226
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:47,175
Strut your stuff, my fetching friend!
227
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,637
This is it, folks.
Six ticks left on the clock.
228
00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:53,932
Looks like the Quakers are about
to lose another heartbreaker.
229
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,433
There's the snap.
230
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:56,768
Walls drops back.
231
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:57,769
And he fumbles!
232
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,145
But wait,
233
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,231
Corbett, he squirts out of the pile!
234
00:08:01,386 --> 00:08:02,619
Whoa, look at the veins
235
00:08:02,721 --> 00:08:04,395
- on Principal Ball's head.
- He laterals back to Spink!
236
00:08:04,464 --> 00:08:06,843
- He's really getting into it.
- Spink back to Walls, and...
237
00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:09,155
And there's daylight! There's daylight!
238
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:14,160
He... could... go... all... the... way!
239
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:16,496
Touchdown! Touchdown!
240
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,331
What are we so excited about?
241
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:19,874
Is the band coming back on the field?
242
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,835
We won! We won!
243
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,253
I'm going down there.
244
00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,797
Maybe a lineman will give me
a hip pad as a souvenir!
245
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:29,384
Oh, [bleep].
246
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,302
While I missed the biggest play ever,
247
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:34,448
my dad was taking a swing
making nice with the neighbor.
248
00:08:34,519 --> 00:08:35,562
Hey, Wofsy.
249
00:08:35,651 --> 00:08:37,559
Here's your rake. Are we good?
250
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,603
This isn't my rake.
This is a small hand rake.
251
00:08:40,736 --> 00:08:43,486
I loaned you a full-size leaf rake.
252
00:08:43,627 --> 00:08:44,698
A rake's a rake.
253
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:47,444
Every autumn,
I love gathering all the fallen leaves.
254
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:50,029
I build a big pile,
and sometimes, I frolic in it.
255
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:51,322
You took that from me.
256
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,199
Fine. I'll buy you another rake
257
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:54,993
so you can do your
upsetting leaf business.
258
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:56,911
Oh, it's not just the rake.
259
00:08:57,037 --> 00:09:00,707
Your kids hit a million balls
and Frisbees over my fence,
260
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,959
and for some reason, three hockey nets.
261
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:04,169
You could have tossed them back over.
262
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:06,296
I did, and they hit them back,
263
00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:08,965
and then they say,
"We're playing fence volleyball."
264
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,675
That's between you and them.
265
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,510
And what about the avocado tree?
266
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:15,472
I love guacamole, okay? Is that a crime?
267
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:18,558
No, but dangling your
youngest child from a ladder
268
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:21,478
to steal your neighbor's
tree treasure is.
269
00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,897
Screw this! Screw you!
270
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:25,774
I need my special hand-rake back.
271
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,068
Choke on my guac, Goldberg!
272
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,695
I can't, Wofsy! 'Cause you ran out!
273
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,572
While my dad dropped the ball,
274
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:36,451
I was hoping a test audience
wouldn't notice my costly fumble.
275
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:40,705
...could... go... all... the... way!
276
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,083
Touchdown! Touchdown!
277
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,667
What the hell is this?
278
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,544
Why are we looking at Principal Ball?
279
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:49,339
Well, Principal Ball's
unbridled enthusiasm
280
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,299
distracted me from the
handsome pigeon I was filming.
281
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,425
You were filming a pigeon?
282
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,052
You didn't see this pigeon.
283
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:56,012
Birds do have a mesmerizing way.
284
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,180
Shut up, Matt Bradley.
285
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,681
Birds are the roaches of the sky.
286
00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,058
Is it that bad?
287
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:02,227
Because the school wants
to do a post-game pep rally
288
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,020
and show the game at lunch tomorrow.
289
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,730
I'd probably just leave
the country if I were you.
290
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,565
I mean, they're going to hunt
you down wherever you go,
291
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,567
but see a little bit
of this crazy world first.
292
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:12,112
You should also change your name.
Maybe Xander Hamlin?
293
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:15,406
Oh, he can't pull off Xander.
Maybe Bernard or a Chester.
294
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:16,491
I'm not moving out of the country
295
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,430
and living a different life
as a Chester.
296
00:10:18,555 --> 00:10:20,056
Then there's only one solution.
297
00:10:20,133 --> 00:10:21,121
Come clean and...
298
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,123
We re-create the play on video.
299
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,875
Yes. That sounds reasonable
to me in this moment.
300
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,293
But we're just four dudes.
301
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,337
Four dudes with the raw skill
302
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:32,132
and physical perfection
of a varsity football team.
303
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,466
Plus, with my slick editing,
304
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,968
no one will know
the difference, probably.
305
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,053
At least that's what I'd hoped,
306
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:38,888
but they knew the difference,
307
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,849
and were not afraid
to express their opinion.
308
00:10:44,026 --> 00:10:45,621
Dude, what did you do?
309
00:10:45,730 --> 00:10:47,488
A seamless re-creation?
310
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:49,691
That's clearly your brother
and his idiot friends!
311
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,318
- One of them's wearing jeans!
- I'll handle this.
312
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:55,113
Relax! Sports don't matter!
313
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,662
My brother couldn't help me fix
my big sports screw-up,
314
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,498
so I had to step up to the
plate and face the high heat...
315
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:06,666
Whatever that means.
316
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,751
This is the worst thing that
ever happened to our school
317
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,503
since the witch burnings.
318
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,547
You're lucky we don't do that anymore.
319
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,299
Technically, I'd be a warlock.
320
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:15,884
That's what they call male witches.
321
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,802
Just FYI, if it comes up socially.
322
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,137
When would it come up socially?
323
00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:21,014
At a Wiccan cocktail party?
324
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:23,224
Perfect example, but I'm still furious.
325
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,935
What if we just lob a call to
Germantown Prep and redo the game?
326
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,520
That's your solution?
327
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,355
Look, I don't want to overstate this,
328
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,858
but you have killed
our school spirit forever!
329
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:32,984
I can fix that.
330
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,402
What is spirit anyway
331
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,070
if not something dead that
comes back to haunt people?
332
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:37,280
But in a good way.
333
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:38,948
Stop speaking in tongues, warlock.
334
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:41,117
I'll make a new video of the seniors
335
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:44,078
sharing their joyful
William Penn experiences.
336
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,288
Why should I give you another shot?
337
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,415
Because, like our football team,
338
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,459
you love the story of an underdog
339
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:51,753
coming from behind for a big win.
340
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:54,756
But if you don't reinvigorate
our student spirit,
341
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,300
I'm calling NYU and showing
them the pigeon video.
342
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:58,676
The stakes are weirdly high.
343
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,888
With that,
I set off to win back my classmates.
344
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:04,432
Yo, Walls! Senior year!
Hit me with your favorite memory.
345
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,310
Eat a hot, wet dog turd, Goldberg.
346
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,145
Which they weren't exactly happy about.
347
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,813
You ruined my life.
348
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,274
I was gonna put that in my
hype reel to get into SMU!
349
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,068
Here's a senior quote...
350
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:16,277
"Every second of every day,
351
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,487
"I want to kick you in the head."
352
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,656
I say this as an educator...
You [bleep] up.
353
00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:21,616
While my peers rejected me,
354
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,452
my mom was looking for a
little help from her friends.
355
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,829
Okay, Wofsy won't sell to us,
356
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:29,123
so, Ginzy, I need you to put
the house in your name
357
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:32,669
and I will pay you back over many,
many years at little to no interest.
358
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,462
Beverly, this is book club.
359
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:37,382
We're talking about
Toni Morrison's Beloved.
360
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:40,677
Well, I would be-love-it
if you would just do it.
361
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:42,804
- Linda, how's your credit?
- Bad.
362
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,931
Then I'm tapped out. Anyone else?
363
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:47,350
Why don't you seduce him with
home-cooked meals and baked goods?
364
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:48,601
Or...
365
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,853
Essie actually seduces him.
366
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,230
Excuse me, now?
367
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,691
Come on, you're single
and ready to mangle.
368
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:57,485
Let's fix your hair and makeup
and send you over there.
369
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,611
What's wrong with my hair and makeup?
370
00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:00,571
Mom, I shouldn't have to say this again,
371
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,449
but sending your friends to do adult
favors is no way to get a house.
372
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:04,784
Do you have any better ideas?
373
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,202
Ooh, write a letter.
374
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,745
That's what my parents did
when they bought their house.
375
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:10,832
Lou and I wrote a note that
was so moving and heartfelt
376
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:13,334
that the nice, old lady wept in my arms.
377
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:16,504
Of course. A heartfelt letter. Oh.
378
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:19,299
But instead of Geoff's stupid
idea, we'll do my thing.
379
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,466
Kids, follow me.
380
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,036
I'm insulted, but along for the ride.
381
00:13:22,153 --> 00:13:25,305
And so my mom took a
shot at doing what she does best...
382
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,307
Emotional manipulation.
383
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:29,892
Listen, I know you
have issues with Murray,
384
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:33,187
but I gotta tell you the real
reason we need this house.
385
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,148
- What's that?
- We're pregnant.
386
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:36,316
- The hell?
- Mom!
387
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,109
They're shy about it, but it's true.
388
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,486
Erica is with child.
389
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:41,654
I can't feel my body.
390
00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:43,698
Congrats. How far along are you?
391
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,742
Oh, far enough along
to know the clock is ticking,
392
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:49,537
and they cannot start a family
in that dingy studio apartment
393
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:53,041
with asbestos and raccoons,
right, Erica?
394
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,293
Uh, poison, woodland
creatures, and a baby...
395
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:56,627
It could all be true.
396
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,380
I loved having my grandkids close.
397
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,591
Then my son-in-law dragged
them away to the desert
398
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:03,426
so he could start a magic club.
399
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:06,679
Idiot. With his cards
and illusion cabinet.
400
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,306
Well, these two aren't going anywhere.
401
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,058
Or stopping at one.
402
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,769
She's got about, uh,
five to seven more to spit out.
403
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:14,479
She definitely knows my body.
404
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,731
Have you ever heard of a family bed?
405
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,817
Well, ours is gonna
fit three generations.
406
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:22,737
Oh, speaking of three,
let's talk numbers.
407
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,947
As my mom made headway with Wofsy,
408
00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:27,557
I needed a new way
to restore school spirit.
409
00:14:27,642 --> 00:14:28,400
- Hot...
- Hype!
410
00:14:28,455 --> 00:14:29,713
Every second of every day, I want to...
411
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,080
- What do we think?
- I love it.
412
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,247
Sorry.
413
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,208
I'm talking about my giant Tootsie Roll.
414
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,210
Your video is crap.
415
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:38,753
Stupid sports ruin everything!
416
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,546
It's not sports' fault.
417
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:43,257
In fact, you actually love sports.
418
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,760
For example, what's this?
419
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,221
That's my costume from
Jesus Christ Superstar.
420
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:49,847
I played Unnamed Apostle.
421
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,391
That's your jersey.
422
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,643
- And this is?
- My playbill from The Wiz.
423
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,186
The school paper said my performance
424
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,896
was "alarmingly insensitive."
425
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,898
See? That's your program.
426
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,734
And the script is your playbook.
427
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,249
The stage is your playing field,
the cast is the team,
428
00:15:04,359 --> 00:15:05,485
and the audience is the crowd.
429
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,698
I get it. Theater is my sport.
430
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,034
Only one problem, football sucks.
431
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:11,828
To you. But for a lot of people,
432
00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:13,413
it's their best memory of high school.
433
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:17,208
I mean, what if some jerk took
your precious musical away?
434
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,503
I wouldn't have that permanent
rash from that cat costume,
435
00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:22,755
but I see what you're saying. Thanks.
436
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,507
As I set out with a new plan,
437
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:28,344
my parents went about the
business of selling our old house.
438
00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:30,847
You know, usually, during open houses,
439
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,598
the homeowner isn't around, and yet,
440
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,183
uh-heh, here you are.
441
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:36,060
Work around me.
442
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,145
Okay.
443
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,441
Hi, welcome! Come on in!
444
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:42,859
Thanks.
445
00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:45,027
- So much character.
- Mm-hmm.
446
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:48,114
Banister's a little wonky, though.
447
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:49,949
You'll definitely want to replace that
448
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:52,410
with maybe something
tasteful and not gross,
449
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:54,620
but the house has good bones.
450
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:58,040
Just terrible skin and teeth
and furniture and room flow.
451
00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,417
Ugh. And the carpet.
452
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:01,169
Oh, yeah. It's from a crime scene.
453
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:04,297
Let's pop into the kitchen and see
what else we can rip the ass out of.
454
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:07,633
Turns out that one
open house did make a sale...
455
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,010
To my dad.
456
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:12,388
Whoo-hoo! Old man Wofsy took the bait.
457
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:15,349
10% over asking in cash!
458
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,936
Look out, block!
The Goldbergs are upsizing!
459
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:20,354
We're moving!
460
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,356
No, we're not.
461
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,320
After messing up
462
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,155
and becoming the most
hated kid in school,
463
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,782
I had one final shot
for a legendary comeback.
464
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,284
Okay.
465
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,036
I know none of you want to be here,
466
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:38,539
but there's one senior
who just won't quit.
467
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,416
Adam.
468
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:45,588
So, I know we'll never have video
469
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:48,174
of the amazing thing our
football team did that day.
470
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,510
I'm sorry.
471
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:53,554
I just figured, if I lost
one special moment,
472
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,515
maybe I could help find a few more.
473
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:56,766
That night,
474
00:16:56,891 --> 00:16:59,519
I didn't know if I'd graduate
with everyone hating me,
475
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,812
but I figured that with a great song,
476
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:05,983
I could remind everyone that our
time together was truly a wonder.
477
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:11,322
♪ What would you do
if I sang out of tune? ♪
478
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:15,117
Looking back, I'm amazed
at the time we've spent here,
479
00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:18,412
that we've gotten to grow up
together at William Penn Academy.
480
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:21,749
What else can I say about
our class other than...
481
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,459
There wasn't another one like it.
482
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,336
♪ Try not to sing out of key ♪
483
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,797
♪ Oh, baby, I get by ♪
484
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:30,174
♪ I get by with a little help
from my friends ♪
485
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:31,926
♪ All I need is my buddies ♪
486
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:35,221
♪ I get by with a little he
from my friends... ♪
487
00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:37,598
Some of us have been together
since first grade,
488
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,934
and most haven't changed a bit.
489
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:44,772
It's funny how, even if
we weren't close friends,
490
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,232
we were all connected.
491
00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:48,609
That's what makes this place special.
492
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:49,944
The people,
493
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:52,989
and that's what we'll take away.
494
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:55,074
William Penn has taught us lots...
495
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,201
That is, when we paid attention.
496
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:59,662
We learned that life
is about messing up,
497
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:01,831
getting up, growing up.
498
00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:06,961
Yeah, we're all just kids with
our whole lives ahead of us,
499
00:18:08,303 --> 00:18:12,091
but the William Penn years,
they really were the best.
500
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:40,786
Seniors! Seniors!
Seniors! Seniors! Seniors!
501
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:42,913
Whoo!
502
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:50,048
Nice work, Mr. Goldberg.
503
00:18:50,853 --> 00:18:54,091
You might really have a
future in this kind of thing.
504
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:55,567
Maybe I did.
505
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:03,893
Murray, I don't get it.
You wanted that house, too.
506
00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:05,645
I did.
507
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:07,813
Until that mean lady realtor
508
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:09,857
wanted to replace the banister.
509
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,776
So? It is wobbly.
510
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:13,277
Really? Tear down the banister
511
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:16,097
where little moron Barry
got his head stuck?
512
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:18,741
- No, thank you.
- You remember that?
513
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:20,826
Of course I remember that.
I remember everything.
514
00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:23,037
That stain in the carpet
that they want to pull out,
515
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,122
that's from Adam being an idiot,
516
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:28,167
and that chip in the wall
that they want to replace,
517
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:30,086
that's from Erica's stupid head.
518
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:33,631
Oh, Murray.
519
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:36,717
No media room is worth
losing all of that.
520
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:40,846
This is our broken-down,
busted-up house.
521
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:41,931
It's perfect.
522
00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:43,432
You're not moving?
523
00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:45,309
No.
524
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:46,686
I thought I could trick you
525
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:49,170
into spending more time with me, but...
526
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,899
I can't leave these memories.
527
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,151
Mom, we'll go, but no matter what,
528
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:55,820
we'll always come back.
529
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,488
This is our home forever, too.
530
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,703
But I already wrote the check to Wofsy.
531
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,346
Oh, damn it.
532
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,457
Well, I guess you guys
will have to live next door.
533
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:09,709
Yeah, no.
534
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:11,502
Your little pregnancy
performance earlier
535
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,671
made living next to you
seem not so great.
536
00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:15,548
It was the family bed for me.
537
00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:17,800
Then I think I have another idea.
538
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:20,261
Turns out you can think about the future
539
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:22,096
and still hold onto the past.
540
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,225
Looking back at high school,
541
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:29,061
we were all different people
with different interests,
542
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,397
but we shared a certain bond,
543
00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:33,899
not because of where we'd come from,
544
00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:36,777
but because of the years
we had spent together.
545
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:40,573
Because in the end,
all that matters is the people.
546
00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:43,367
Sure, they may come and go
throughout the course of our lives...
547
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:46,537
Oh, howdy, neighbor-slash-landlord.
548
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:48,038
I hope you like bird-sitting.
549
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:51,500
...but the memories
they create are forever.
550
00:21:02,393 --> 00:21:04,103
The Wonder Years is the best.
551
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:06,223
Who doesn't love a kid looking
back at his formative years
552
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,601
with... I'm just gonna say it... Wonder?
553
00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:10,394
Except I don't buy Kevin and Winnie.
554
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:11,771
It's like, why is she with him?
555
00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,564
What? He's a loveable every-boy
556
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,399
with timeless and deceptive charm.
557
00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:17,610
Ehh. He's short and has a weird voice.
558
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:19,320
Plus, he's got that
really annoying best friend.
559
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:20,529
Paul's the breakout character.
560
00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:22,323
If anyone's annoying,
it's the older brother.
561
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,699
Wayne rules.
562
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:25,284
I like the way he doesn't
think anything through.
563
00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:27,244
I'm a fan of the older sister.
564
00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:28,996
Why don't they give her more stories?
42865
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