All language subtitles for Party Down s03e05 Once Upon a Time.eng

- Once Upon a Time.
- [Lydia laughs]

[Ron] Has a nice
fairy-tale quality, doesn't it?

[chuckles]
That was the actual theme

of the Glendale Flats High
senior prom

which Escapade
never got to attend.

Oh, did nobody ask her, or--

- Bobby Dando did.
- [Ron] Oh.

But, um, we booked
an adult diaper ad, yeah.

- Oh.
- It was a hard decision,

but she needed drama
on her reel.

- And she became a star,
so you made the right choice. - Yeah, yeah.

Or I might have ruined
her life.

She has been focused on work
for too long,

so I need for this to be
the magical prom experience

- that she missed.
- Mm.

I want her to dance.
I want her to have fun.

I invited Bobby Dando.

- Ah, maybe she'll fall in love.
- [laughs]

- Okay, Lydia, don't you worry
about a thing, - Okay.

'cause I have it
all planned out, okay?

We have
the fancy court ceremony

- over here.
- [Lydia] Yes.

We got King Bobby
and Queen Escapade, right?

And then the champagne tower
and--oh, Sackson,

come on, not that kind
of fairy tale.

Cinderella, happily ever after.

[Lydia] But don't forget, Ron,

this is a PR event
for her movie Proms Away,

so everything must go perfect
so that she doesn't fire me.

- And that's a real thing.
- [Ron] Oh, Lydia.

[Lydia] Yeah?

This is gonna be
a fairy-tale ending.

Fairy tale.

Oh, this takes me back.

I met my ex-husband Ed
at my senior prom.

Oh, talk about
a fairy-tale ending.

- [Lydia] Yeah.
- [Ron] Let me guess.

Captain of the football team.

Coach of the football team.

Oh, yeah.

[upbeat jazzy music plays]

♪ ♪

[Roman] But I realized
I could use the time loop

to link the secret
of the worm-kind

to the birth of the council.

And I still have some details
to work out, but...

I think I cracked it,
after ten years.

I even have a title:
Wells of Time.

I guess I owe you one
for shaming me

into taking shrooms.

[Lucy] Yeah, it works.

It's how I got the idea
for this appetizer,

which I didn't think
I'd ever get to try,

but tonight Ron insisted
I pull out all the stops.

I wanted to try
my ambient cod fog, but--

Hey-oh!
Who's psyched for prom night?

No one.

Prom is performative
social hierarchy bullshit.

Yeah, no kidding.

"Buy a ticket
to your own debasement."

It's a total scam.

Wait a minute,
you went to prom?

With who... or what?

Milda Peele,
who laughed so hard

at the jocks and socs
making fun of me

that her headgear
sproinged off.

- [Kyle snickers]
- [Roman] Fuck romance

and the entire
prom-industrial complex.

Okay, okay, okay.

All right, Constance
will not be Zooming in today,

so we can skip the spiritual
cleansing nonsense

and get straight to business,
all right?

Real business.
This is Sloan Meitz.

She's EVP of physical marketing
at Bisno Studios.

She is an events legend.

Events legend.

- She's an events legend!
- Okay.

Okay? If you're
in Sloan Meitz's Rolodex,

you will work constantly.

So our plan tonight:

dazzle Sloan
with our professionalism,

exchange business cards,

and get
into that goddamn Rolodex.

All right, let's do it!

Okay, Ron, just so you know,

you've almost eaten
the whole batch.

Okay, I'm sorry.
You know, I'm nervous eating,

so just, you know,
get a new tray.

I mean, that was it.

What do you mean, that was it?

That--you had one tray
for the whole party?

That was all the red urchin
I could get

with what you budgeted.

This is sea urchin?

You said pull out
all the stops.

Just do the shrimps!

Make the shrimps fancy.

Hey- hey Henry,
know who this is?

Sloan Meitz, PR legend,

and yes,
I will bartend my heart out.

That's right, and this is

for all the marbles,
everybody, okay?

So let's go!
Let's get it, okay?

I want tight,
professional service.

Hey, sorry I'm late.

Ah, Constance.

You said you were taking
your borzoi

to the dog spa in Ojai.

[Constance]
And miss the big night?

No, I'm here to support
my partner. [chuckles]

All right, everybody,
eyes over here.

We're going to do
a favorite mantra.

- Om--
- [Ron] No, no.

We-we already did
the team meeting,

- so, you know.
- Oh, okay.

Um, how about we do this?
How about you just monitor...

[Constance] Yes.

...uh, this area?

Yes. The room where it happens.

Ha-ha!
You can count on me, Ron.

- [Constance chuckles]
- All right.

Peak performance, people!

I like your wig.

Oh, it's just, uh,
gel and stuff.

Evie and I both missed our prom
back in the day...

[video game blipping]

...and, uh, well,
she suggested we do

this, like, '90s flashback
prom thing.

Hence, you know... [chuckles]

Yeah, must be getting serious
if you're in

the "humiliate yourself" stage.

Nah, you look good, man.

Shades of Van Der Beek.

What?

[singer] ♪ I'm like, hold up
Like, wow ♪

♪ Got ninety-nine problems
But a beat ain't one ♪

♪ ♪

Hey, once upon a time,

there was a magical prom

brought to you by Proms Away,

in theaters everywhere.

Evie, got your message,
uh, about dinner running late.

Uh, just... I'm here,
and I'll see you later.

Bye.

[Lydia] Oh, Escapade.
Do you think she's having fun?

So is that the kid who asked
her to prom in high school?

Yeah, Bobby Dando.

Oh, isn't he so handsome?

This is gonna be
the most romantic night.

Oh, for God's sake.

I've been in Hollywood how long

and I don't have even
the most rudimentary gaynar?

Gaynar?

Oh, it's, like, gay sonar
to know who's gay.

Oh, um, "Who Spiked The" Punch?
please.

- You got it.
- Fun party, Mom.

Great viral marketing
potential.

- Like the prom you never had.
- [Escapade] Mm-hmm.

Might even be... magical?

- Oh, maybe.
- Oh, maybe.

Well, she seems into it.
It's working.

Hmm, yeah. Maybe.

That's the thing
with a kid actor.

You never know what's real.

I mean, is she having fun?
Like, real fun?

I--ooh, Sackson, Sackson.

You do computer dances

like the Goobot and the Schmaz.

Go make her dance.

You mean, like,
just go over and--

Yeah! I just want her
never not having fun, okay?

[Lydia groans] Ooh!

So, uh, you want me in
on this one?

Oh, actually, Kyle,
it's her prom,

so I think she should be having
a cool, fun time

- with the kids.
- Sure.

Yeah, no, I just know
she always used to think

I was pretty cool and fun,
but--

[Lydia] Well, that was
a long time ago, honey.

- No, I-I get it.
- You're older now.

- It's okay.
- I--

Sloan's here.

- Sloan is here, okay?
- [Lydia] Oh, God, okay.

So I want you
to just introduce me.

You know, just something like,
"This is Ron."

Real casual.
Uh, you know, "Great guy.

- Total professional"--
- [Lydia] Oh, Sloan, hi.

Always great to see you.

Interesting party.

Brand messaging plus realness.

Escapade missed her prom, so...

I wish I missed mine.

[Lydia] Was it not romantic?

Did you see the movie Carrie?

No. Is it romantic?

[Ron clearing throat
excessively]

[Lydia]
Oh, speaking of, did you meet--

Hi, Ron Donald.
Party Down Catering.

Uh, may I have
my bartender, Henry,

prepare you a drink
to start out your evening?

Okay, very good.

Gin martini, dirty, one olive.

[Ron] Uh, you know what?

I have my card right here,
so let me--

[Sloan] Ron Donald.

Any relation to a Ronald Donald

who was cited
by the Event Guild

for an off-book quincea era
during the lockdown?

Um, uh, who-wh-wh-wh--uh, who?

[Henry]
Okay, here is a gin martini,

dirty, one olive.

[Sloan] Thank you.

[upbeat music playing,
people cheering and yelling]

♪ ♪

Very solid, Henry.

And nice haircut.

Wow!

She's never this friendly.

Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-kay.
Sloan Meitz. [chuckles]

Our ticket to the big time.

Hey, are you okay?
You're kind of sweating.

Hmm? Yeah, it's a big night.
A lot of pressure, you know.

But you know what they say
about pressure, Henry.

It smushes you?

Pressure makes diamonds, Henry.

And by the end of tonight,

this guy is going
to be a diamond, so...

♪ ♪

Chicken finger inventory?

Notes for a thing
I'm working on.

I'm actually a writer.

Oh, wow.

What kind of stuff
do you write?

- Sci-fi.
- I love sci-fi.

- Hardsci-fi.
- How hard?

This makes Dune
look like Star Wars.

[scoffs] Yeah, Dune
basically is Star Wars.

Yeah, um, but...

this-this is way harder.

And when the Novice Guardian
finds the time loop,

he learns the secret
of the council founding--

That they--that they stole
the energy well

from the worm-kind.

Yeah, and trapped them
in the past.

[Steph] I don't know
if you've heard this before,

but, like,
this should totally be,

like,
a quality streaming series.

- Totally.
- Right?

- Yeah.
- Like, it would be expen--

Roman. Roman. RDD, ABC.

Always Be Circulating.

- My boss--
- Is a bummer.

- Yeah.
- [Steph] Sucks.

Okay, well, I don't know,
if you're, like, interested.

Maybe you wanna, like,
talk more later?

[laughter]

[person] Awesome prom, Ms. D.

[Lydia] Oh!

[phone ringing]

Hey, Lydia. What's up?

- What are you doing?
- It's Ted Fine. Don't look!

What? Get! Get!

Come on, come here.

No, don't look. Hide!

Who's that?

Arguably the top manager
in town.

[gasps]

He's trying to steal Escapade.

[gasps]

I need you to get rid of him.

Like, murder?

No, just get him
out of here somehow.

[hyperventilating]

- Go!
- Okay.

- [Lydia] What the--
- [Lucy] I don't understand.

You were the one who said,
"Fuck romance

and the entire
prom-industrial complex."

Yeah, well, I mean,
I don't do romance.

But it's weird.
I think I felt...

what might have been
a romantic feeling.

Usually, that is just lust.

No, she's all right,

but my lust criteria
are very high.

This was different.

Like, we really talked.
We had a real connection.

You know, eyes locked.

- She had a sick burn on Dune.
- [Constance] Yeah.

I don't know,
she was really into my idea,

and I just, like,
felt something.

- Mm.
- I just don't know what to do.

Well, Roman,
if there's one thing

I take away
from all of my relationships--

marriages, affairs, flings,
one-night stands,

blindfold parties,
coin flip fucks...

- Jesus.
- ...it's this.

Follow your heart. [chuckles]

[singer] ♪ You love me
Till you wear me out ♪

♪ Then you love me more ♪

♪ I'm blue to the middle
Just like you ♪

♪ Freezing to the core ♪

♪ The days, they fly ♪

♪ Like trains go by... ♪

What the fuck?

[singer] ♪ Home to you ♪

♪ And I think about... ♪

Anti-Manvideo game release
was... okay.

Not special in any way.

The WeathererDVD release event
was solid.

Not good but solid.

Are you enjoying
the prom, though?

As brand marketing, it's fine,

but prom as a concept
is not for me.

Well, I'm sorry
you had a bad time at yours.

Who said I had a rough time?

Well, earlier, you compared it
to the movie Carrie.

Oh, yes.

We poured pig's blood
on an annoying girl

and got in trouble.

Huh.

Gin martini, olive, dirty.

[Sloan] Mm.

- Consistent.
- Thank you.

[phone chimes]

[Henry]
Longest dinner in history...

Getting stood up?

Again.

What do you mean, again?

Night of my high school prom,

my date's ex did the fucking
Say Anythingmove

where you stand under a window

and blast a song
out of a boom box.

- Wait, that worked?
- Yeah.

I tried that with a girl once.

She didn't even come
to the window.

Just her dad,

and he threw
a cup of urine on me.

Well, you know what they say.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice...

...fuck prom.

[upbeat dance music playing]

♪ ♪

[groaning] Come on, Ron.

Pull your shit together.
Pull your shit together, Ron.

Hey, Lydia, hey.
Oh, it's going great in there.

Yeah, yeah.
Is, uh--oh, is Sloan impressed?

I don't know. I've never
seen her have an emotion.

- [Ron] Mm.
- [Lydia] Is Escapade happy?

Oh, she's having
the time of her life.

And you, Ron?
You look red and wet.

No, I'm great. Yeah.
Top of my game, so...

Great. Cool as a cucumber.

- [Ted] No need to apologize.
- [Sackson] I am so sorry.

- That guy, he bumped my elbow.
- No, no, it's-it's fine.

- I lost tray control.
- I understand.

- I don't--
- Accidents sometimes happen.

Ah, Lydia, I was involved
in a little wine accident

and didn't bring
a backup shirt,

so I will be saying good night.

Um, perhaps another time.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Great to see you, Ted.

Wow!

I can't believe
I took a game off Ted Fine,

arguably the savviest manager
in town.

He doesn't know
you did it on purpose, right?

You pretended?

Yes.

Okay, we are looking good.
We are looking good.

- [Roman] Ron?
- [Ron] Yeah?

You look like
a lobster being boiled

while having a heart attack.

You do look weird.
Ron, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. What?
[chuckles]

I mean, you know,
a little pressure, you know?

But you know what they say.
Pressure makes diamonds, so...

Very rarely.
Usually it just crushes things.

Ugh!

I tried to power through,
but, um,

my stomach is in knots.

And I'm sweating,
and I have a fucking rash.

[Constance] Just relax.

This is just like
in high school

on the football team
when I really wanted to be

a wide receiver so bad,

and then I finally got
my lucky break

when they suspended
the starting offense

for rolling a nerd down a hill
in a trash can, you know?

And then on game day,
I got so nervous.

You know, I just was sweating,
and I broke out into hives.

And you played
the best game ever, right?

First play,
I threw up in my helmet,

and I ran
into a cheerleader pyramid.

I don't know football.
Is that bad?

[Ron] Yes. Hey, oh.

Lucy, did you get
any more sea urchin?

Because I wanted Sloan
to try some.

Actually, Ron,
I just found out my urchin guy

sold me hot urchin,

which might be
why you're feeling poorly.

Stolen urchin?

Stolen and left in a hot car.

- [Constance gasps]
- Did it smell or taste off?

- I can't smell or taste.
- He had COVID four times.

Wait, are you telling me
that I got food poisoning

from eating bad sea urchin?

Sorry, Ron.

I asked my urchin guy
to please not do that again.

Oh, thank God!

Thank God!
I have food poisoning!

- [Ron laughs]
- [Constance] Yay!

I thought I couldn't handle
the pressure,

but this is a relief.

Food poisoning.

- [Ron laughs]
- [Constance] Oh.

Food poisoning!

Okay, do you have any l--
that lady face stuff?

What, foundation?

Yeah, 'cause I just wanna put
a little bit of that on,

and then I'm just gonna
power through.

Constance, can you do
a quick app inventory

wh-while I do this, okay?

And thank you.
I will return it.

[singer]
♪ This is the vogue zone... ♪

No, no, you can keep it.

♪ This is the vogue zone
This is the vogue zone... ♪

E-Escapade.

Uh, sorry,
I was helping your mom.

Oh, don't worry,
Kyle's a great dancer.

Oh.

Yeah, and not in a dad way
at all.

- No.
- [Sackson] Mm.

Yeah, well, I wonder if he
can do the schmeeze, though.

[both] What?

- Schmeeze? Have you ever...
- No.

[Sackson] Oh, wh--

[Escapade] Oh!

Okay.

Hey.
Hey, I was looking for you.

Um, I wanted to continue
our conversation from earlier.

Um, okay, so I was thinking
about the end.

I had a bit of an idea,
if it's okay.

Um, the worm-kind--

Sure you wanna talk right now?

Don't you have someone
to make out with?

- What?
- I thought we had a thing.

Like, we were flirting, but--

What are you--
what are you talking about?

You were making out
with some guy.

My boyfriend?

[singer] ♪ Listen
It's called a dance ♪

♪ Shablam, Chanel ♪

♪ Hit that duck walk
Drop it low ♪

♪ In the light
And watch me glow ♪

♪ Put that weave
Against the floor ♪

♪ Hit that dip
Get a pop for me ♪

♪ Mug is dusted
Face is beat ♪

♪ Crack that fan
And keep the beat ♪

♪ Drop it, spin it
Then repeat ♪

♪ Dance, the vogue zone ♪

♪ This is the vogue zone
Vogue zone ♪

♪ Turn up the vogue song
Vogue song ♪

♪ Up all night
We vogue long, vogue long ♪

♪ So come get your vogue on
Vogue on ♪

♪ This is the vogue zone
This is the vogue zone ♪

♪ This is the vogue zone
Work ♪

♪ This is the vogue zone
This is the vogue zone ♪

♪ This is the vogue zone
Work ♪

♪ Walk to the walk, the walk
W-walk-walk... ♪

- [Kyle] Hup!
- [people cheer]

Shit, sorry,
I gotta deal with this.

Sure. No, yeah, as-as long
as you're having fun.

Yeah, totally. So fun.

Yeah, like, equally,
or, like, was there one person

you felt like was more fun?

What, like, who's cooler?

Which one of you
is-is the cooler dude?

Well, when you say it like
that, it kinda sounds goofy.

- [chuckles]
- Does it?

[Sackson] Yeah,
but if there's one person

you were having more fun with,
like...

Okay, look.

I'm here 'cause of my mom.

Okay?

You know, she did
this whole party for me.

I know it means a lot to her,
so I need her to think

that I am having
the greatest time.

Sure, but in terms
of fun with us?

Yes, Kyle,
I was having fun with you--

as part of a performance.

I've been acting...

all night. [laughs]

God, my sense memory
is exhausted

from psychological gesturing.

I have personalized
everybody in this room.

But you just broke character,
so maybe--

Right, right, right, right,
right, right, right.

Right, right, but, Kyle,
I'm getting right back in.

And whatever this is,
God, it is not part

of my super-objective
for tonight, you know?

So I gotta make this call,
okay?

[Kyle] Well, maybe you could
include us

in your given circumstances.

[wincing and groaning]

[Ron]
It's no joke, getting older.

[toilet flushes]

You know, back in the day,

I wouldn't even sweat it
over a little bellyache,

but now...

you know...

- time, man.
- Yeah.

It's a large decorated room,
and they play music.

I mean, what's the big deal?

Prom doesn't live up
to the hype.

Uh, sorry for the long message.

I will see you later.

- How are you guys doing?
- [Ron] Yeah, great.

Turns out, it wasn't stress.

It was just food poisoning.

So I'm fine.

[Kyle]
Yeah, I'm good. I'm good.

Yeah, I just, um,
had to stretch a little bit.

[Henry] Okay, great.

It is great, you know?

It's been a long road,

but I powered through, and...

here I am.

Ah. Right?
On the brink of success.

So I'm just gonna exchange
business cards with Sloan,

and I will feel so good.

All right, you know,
they, uh, say

the hardest part
of climbing Mount Everest

is the last 50 feet.

Oh, fuck.

[groans]

Jesus, Ron.

[Roman] Okay, so good news.

[gasps] Did you get kissed
at the prom?

No, it's not like that at all.

So she's a development exec.

Sci-fi is hot right now.
She likes my idea.

Oh!

So those romantic feelings
you had?

Well, I guess I've never
actually experienced

someone into my stuff.

Turns out, it's, like,
a really great feeling

that I mistook for, you know,
love or something.

But you said you had
this intense connection

with the eyes.

- She'd had a lot of cocaine.
- Oh.

But the big news:
she bought my idea.

- Roman!
- [Roman] Wells of Time.

Coming soon to Smydgyn. Huh?

Smydgyn? What-what is Smydgyn?

It's the future of streaming.

It's quality content
optimized for today's media.

Phones, tablets, screens
in the car for your dashboard.

- Right.
- Um, vacuum screens,

fridge screen--

- [Lucy] Oh, shit.
- [Constance gasps]

- [Henry] Okay.
- [Lucy] Oh, Ron!

[Henry] All right, Ron,

we're just gonna find
a seat over here, all right?

Don't get his slime
on anything.

- Here we go, here we go.
- [Constance] Here, here, here.

[Ron] No, I just need
a little rest.

- [groans]
- Okay, just rest.

Yep, and then
I'm just gonna power through.

And we're gonna, um...

[flatulence]

...set up the prom court
ceremony.

Where's my clipboard?

- Here. Here, Ron.
- [Henry] Right there.

- [Constance] Here you go.
- [Ron] Oh, okay. Okay, good.

- Constance?
- [Constance] Yes.

You-you took care
of the inventory?

I did not get to that yet.

Oh, God! I can't--

What happened
to "you can count on me"?

Well, what happened
to "I'll be fine"?

I am fine! God!

- [flatulence]
- [Ron] Oh, no.

- [Constance] Oh, Ron. Oh!
- [Henry] Jesus, Ron.

[Ron] Okay, no, I got it,
I got it, I got it.

- I got it, I got it, I got it.
- Okay, okay.

- [Ron] I'm a grown goddamn man!
- Don't kill him!

[groaning]

Constance.

Oh, honey, I'm here.

[groans] I don't think
I'm gonna power through it.

Oh, okay.

So we need to impress Sloan,

and we need to...

- exchange business cards.
- Yes.

And we need to finish
this party.

- [Constance] Mm-hmm.
- Okay?

- Okay.
- [Ron] All right.

Everything you need to know
is in here,

and you just need
to tell everybody what to do.

Ron, I can't do that.

Order people around,
I can't do it.

There's too much pressure.
There's too much tension.

It's tension-y.

In fact,
I'm actually allergic to it.

I-I experience
sweat and hives--

You mean--you mean like
what I'm going through?

No, not that bad, no.

Okay, see, Constance?

[Constance] Yes.

We're supposed to be partners,
right?

Oh, Jesus Christ, I'm gonna--

Henry, gonna need a pot.

Henry, Henry, Henry.

- [Henry] A pot.
- [Ron] I need a pot.

Somebody get me a pot.
Somebody get me a pot.

- Somebody get me a pot.
- [Lucy] Not that pot.

- Okay.
- [Ron gagging]

[retches]

Nope.

[retches]

- [groans]
- [flatulence]

- Oh, wrong end!
- [pot clatters]

Okay, everybody out!

Everybody out. Let's go!

- Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
- [flatulence]

- [Evie] Sorry I'm late.
- [Ron] Oh, Mama!

- Evie.
- Oh, my God, your hair.

- Uh--
- [Evie] I didn't even--

- [flatulence]
- [Henry] Let's just go.

What is that? What is that?

What is fucking wrong with me?

- Jesus Christ.
- [Ron screaming]

Let's go.

[DJ] It's almost time
for our prom court ceremony

to crown our prom king
and queen!

Brought to you by Proms Away.

Side by side, you guys,
side by side.

Arm's length.

Arm's length, like a human arm,
you guys,

not a baby arm.

Hello, I'm, uh,
Constance Carmell,

and I'm, uh--I'm Ron's partner.

Mm. Sloan.

- Sloan Meitz.
- [Constance] Yes.

[upbeat music playing]

♪ ♪

[breathing heavily]

[Lydia]
Oh, here you are, honey.

Having fun?

Hey,
did you see Ted Fine earlier?

I invited him,
but I guess he left suddenly--

Okay, so you admit it.

Admit what?

That you invited Ted Fine
to the party I planned

to give you the magical prom
you never had

so that you could talk
behind my back about firing me.

After everything I did,

after sacrificing
my whole entire life

to make your dream a reality--

Wait, Mom,
you think I invited Ted

so I could fire you

and sign with him?

Classic Ted.

Three-dimensional chess.
Oh, that guy's a total pro.

Was it--was it not for that?

Mom,
I invited Ted tonight for you.

It's a setup.

A setup?

For me?

Yeah.

[DJ] Okay, just about time
for us to crown

our king and queen
of the prom.

Brought to you byProms Away,

in theaters everywhere.

I worry, Mom.

You work too much.

Gotta go do some marketing,
okay?

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[DJ] Just beautiful.

Your prom king and queen,
everyone.

[Constance] Hey, you guys,

once you start pouring
that thing, you can't fuck up.

There's no going back in time,
okay?

It's a oner. Yeah.

[Panic! at the Disco's
"Impossible Year" playing]

♪ ♪

[singer]
♪ There's no sunshine ♪

♪ This impossible year... ♪

[Lydia] Aw.

Isn't it all so beautiful?

If you like that sort of thing.

My prom was magical.

Oh, I danced. I fell in love.

Let me guess,
captain of the football team?

[Lydia]
Mm, well, something like that.

[laughs] What about you?

Huh, was it magical?

It was a nightmare, actually.

[whispering]
Kyle! Straight tray.

Tray straight. What the fuck?

Did no one ask you?

Steve Deaver, popular kid
from the rich side of town.

- Handsome.
- That sounds magical.

But Andy Gorick,
not so handsome.

Sensitive, nice type
with a quirky sense of humor.

He was there as well.

I ended up having to choose.

Choosing between two boys?

One popular, one nice?

I mean, I like that.

It was so fucking tense!

How does anyone choose that?

It's like--

it's like
the ultimate conundrum.

Sackson, napkin down.
Napkin down.

[Lydia] So, um, well,
what did you decide?

- [Constance] Mm, I couldn't.
- [Lydia] Hmm.

I threw up in the bushes,
and I ran home crying.

Six miles.

It was the worst day
of my life.

Oh. At least this one's
been magical, right?

Mm, so long as I get

her fucking business card.

Sloan Meitz.

I'm sorry
that dinner went so late

and you and your hair
were stuck here all alone.

Seeing it now, I get it.

It must have been
a very difficult time for you.

Well, I do look like
a fucking idiot.

You do. You do.

Thanks.

It's just,
dinner got very business-y.

Mm.

There was good news,
and there was bad news.

The bad news, the part
that I wanted to get you,

- Colonel Striker...
- Right, the Mark Strong type.

...they went with Mark Strong.

Sorry.

Story of my entire life.

But what's the good news?

I got promoted.

Oh.

Great. Good for you.

And for you.

I was telling them at dinner

that I think the hero stuff
is dead end

and that I think
I wanted a change,

and he said,
"Well, how about Star Saga?"

Like,
oversee the whole franchise.

- What?
- [Evie laughs]

Starts in Tunisia
in three months.

Oh.

So good for me--
I don't get the job

and my girlfriend moves
to Tunisia.

Good for you, you can be
Colonel Barlorian.

Colonel Barlorian?

He's a space guy.

He-he-he pops up
over the entire franchise.

And they want
a Mark Strong type,

and now I get final say.

But isn't that kinda like,
I don't know,

- nepotism or something?
- Exactly.

It's a stroke of good luck
for you, finally.

- [Henry scoffs]
- [Evie] If--

if you still want it.

[singer] ♪ And a coast
That's unclear ♪

♪ All the guests
At the party... ♪

[Henry] Oh, shit.

- [Evie] What?
- Um, sorry.

- Ms. Carmell?
- Yes?

I wasn't aware
you condoned your staff

leaving their stations
to fraternize.

- Excuse me.
- [Sloan] Mm-hmm.

- Henry?
- [Henry] Yeah.

Why aren't you at your station?

Is this job a joke for you?

This is no joke.

This is catering.

- Absolutely.
- [Constance] Also no joke,

you're fired.

You're fired, Henry!

And if you ever bartend again,

it'll be to serve up
boiled shit in hell for Satan.

Go!

Okay, and I am sorry
to have let down

such a quality
catering company.

What is happening?

You too, Poindexter.
Get the fuck outta here!

Did you get a new boss?

Nah,
she doesn't even work here.

Come on, I'll walk you out.

[singer] ♪ Put your hands
On your hips ♪

♪ And you move like this ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la... ♪

[Lydia]
Oh, my little prom queen.

[Escapade] Mm!

I'm so proud of you.

- It was a good party, Mom.
- [Lydia] Mm.

I did have fun. I'm not acting.

Oh, I'm just glad you're not
all screwed up, sweetie.

That child actor thing
is a myth.

I figured it was.

[camera shutter clicks]

[chuckling] Oh, yeah.

What I'm worried about now
is the whole mom-manager thing.

- Wait, that's a thing?
- Yeah.

You end up getting
your work and your family life

all scrambled up.

Just a whole big mess.

Huh.

I just wanna be your mom, so...

I'm firing you
as a client, honey.

Wait, Mom, what?

[singer] ♪ Dance, ow ♪

[retching]

[groaning]

[Ron] Constance,
this is the men's room.

Ugh.

I'm sorry, Ron. I didn't check.

[sighs] It's done.

[Constance sighs]

I gave her our card.

And look.

You exchanged cards?

We exchanged cards.

Oh, man, yes!

[both] I knew I could do it!

I did it!

[sobs]

[belches] Ugh.

[upbeat jazz music plays]

♪ ♪

Am I thinking about it?

Well, I don't know.
Were you serious?

Then yeah,
I'm-I'm-I'm thinking about it.

Yeah, seriously.

[upbeat music playing]

[Lucy] I guess
they had unfinished business.

It's some kind of dance-off
to determine who's the coolest.

[Henry] Huh.

[Lucy] Kyle just slid
down the banister.

Anyway, Evie,
how about I come over?

We can discuss it further.

[Sackson] Hey, Kyle, top this!

[laughs]

[screaming]

[crowd gasps]

Yes! Hey!

Baby! Still the coolest!

♪ ♪

[person clears throat] Tree.

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