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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:05,047 ♪ upbeat theme playing ♪ 2 00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:08,300 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba ♪ 3 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:10,344 ♪ Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da da-da-da ♪ 4 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,935 - So in addition, my client is offering 5 00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:20,437 the townhouse on East 63rd Street, 6 00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,689 the oceanfront estate in Farhampton, 7 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,900 and this bottle... 8 00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:28,195 of 1831 single malt Glen McKenna, 9 00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:31,031 valued at $3 million. 10 00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:34,952 - I was saving this for a special occasion. 11 00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:38,121 But without my Becky, no occasion will ever be special again. 12 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,790 - Captain... 13 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,291 I don't want your houses. 14 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,751 I don't want your car. 15 00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:43,836 I don't want your private jet. 16 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:46,129 - You're having second thoughts. Marvelous! 17 00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,631 Let's drink to celebrate. 18 00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:49,883 Maybe there's a bar nearby. 19 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:52,845 - Captain... 20 00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:55,472 You broke my heart. 21 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:56,974 You hit me where it hurts. 22 00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:00,978 So now, I'm going to hit you where it hurts. 23 00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:03,856 - Oh no. Rough seas ahead. 24 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:07,985 - I only want 25 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,112 three things. 26 00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:13,240 Boats, boats... 27 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,325 - Please don't say boats. - ...boats. 28 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,035 - Oh god... 29 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,204 [pop] 30 00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:21,582 BECKY: That's right, Captain. 31 00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:24,918 I'm going to take 32 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,962 all your boats, 33 00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:30,465 and I'm gonna sink 'em! 34 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:33,343 Every. Last. One of them. 35 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:35,971 - But, you love boats-- - I hate boats! 36 00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,223 SOPHIE'S SON [on phone]: Mom! You left the story off 37 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:40,100 on you in a restaurant, being stood up. 38 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,186 You've got to stop with this random rich couple. 39 00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:44,062 - Would you trust me? 40 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,106 They're going to come into play soon. 41 00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:49,484 So, I was waiting at the restaurant... 42 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,111 - Dear god... 43 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,738 I'm being stood up. 44 00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:54,364 - Sophie. Hi! 45 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,533 - Hi. - I am so sorry. 46 00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,660 I was on the train. I bumped into that guy I got in a fight with. 47 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:01,079 You remember the dad with the two 5-year-old breakdancing twins? 48 00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,123 And I was like you shouldn't make your kids perform like that, 49 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,875 And he was like, "They love it!" I was like, "They're 5. 50 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:07,252 They'd probably also love a dad who obeyed child labor laws." 51 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:10,297 Anyway, I didn't want a repeat incident, so I got off the train, and I ran here. 52 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,257 [clears throat] 53 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,801 Okay, listen. 54 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,178 I wanna start this off right. 55 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:18,847 I went to see Meredith earlier today. 56 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,307 Uh, she released a single, 57 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,434 and I kind of spun out about it, 58 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,269 and I-I just needed some closure. 59 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,313 I-I hope you can understand that. 60 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:29,191 - Did you get the closure you were looking for? 61 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:31,109 - I did. 62 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:34,112 - I'm glad. - Me, too. 63 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,280 - Good. 64 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,033 FUTURE SOPHIE: We'd waited a long time to get to this moment, 65 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,952 so we decided to take things slow. 66 00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:44,206 - That was... 67 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,917 Wow. [Jesse laughs] 68 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,418 - Yeah. Uh, 69 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:51,088 I see your wow, and I raise you a whoa. 70 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:52,506 [both laugh] 71 00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:55,092 You think that Thai place delivers? 72 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:56,677 - Maybe. 73 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,721 Or we could just do that again. 74 00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:01,682 - Yeah. We'll eat when we're dead. 75 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:02,933 [both giggle] 76 00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:08,438 - On one hand, it's the best cardiothoracic fellowship 77 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:09,982 in the country, and I got a spot. 78 00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:10,983 - Of course you did, Hannah. 79 00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:13,110 You're like the ideal cardiothoracic fellow. 80 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,696 Sometimes, I want to puncture my own lung just so you can fix it. 81 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,948 - But it means another year of long distance. 82 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,616 - Year-schmear! 83 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:22,703 It's this ad I saw for the cream-cheese-of -the-month club, but it applies here, too. 84 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:23,704 Hannah... 85 00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,206 There's only one thing to do. 86 00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:29,459 We've got to become a bicoastal power couple. 87 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:33,714 We are going to scrimp and save, so we can visit each other a lot more often, 88 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:36,633 and we've got the best of both coasts. 89 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:39,219 Bagels and burritos, baby. 90 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,888 - I do like the sound of that. 91 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,807 You always know just what to say. 92 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,478 - You wanna go do it bicoastal style? 93 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,189 - What's bicoastal style? 94 00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:53,525 - I'm not sure, but I've got an image of you in a bikini top 95 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,360 and me wearing mittens. 96 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,945 - Ooh! 97 00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,281 [door opening] 98 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,495 [door closes quietly] 99 00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,873 - Ellen, where have you been? 100 00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:09,499 I can't sleep. I need you to do that thing 101 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,084 where you scratch my back and sing Enya to me. 102 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,669 And why do you have a cat? 103 00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:15,923 - Well, first I had my interview at Goliath Market, 104 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,799 which did not go well. 105 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,301 - Ellen, hi. - Hi. 106 00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:21,720 - I'm Mark, the lead producer buyer. 107 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,138 - Lead produce buyer? 108 00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:26,683 So, you're like the... head of lettuce. 109 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:32,439 Y-you know, the head of lettuce? 110 00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:35,317 - I'm sorry, I don't follow. 111 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,403 - Th-the head of-- 112 00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:42,950 After my interview, I went on OkCupid 'cause I thought a date might cheer me up, 113 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,952 but the woman showed up with her husband. 114 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:47,079 And then I realized that I had set my settings to 115 00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:49,206 "couples only" for months. 116 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,376 When I finally got home, 117 00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:54,419 I found this little lady outside the building. 118 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:57,381 Think she's exactly what I need right now. [meow] 119 00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:58,841 An emotional support animal. 120 00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:01,301 [growling] Look at us. 121 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,054 We're totally bonding. 122 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,055 [hissing] 123 00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:07,683 - Had something of a night myself. 124 00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:10,352 Valentina let slip that she wants kids someday. 125 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,354 And I absolutely do not. 126 00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:13,772 - Really? 127 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:16,275 But, you're a bossy narcissist with a sentimental streak. 128 00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,569 - I know. I mean, on paper, I'm a born parent. 129 00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:20,821 It's just... [cat hisses, growls] 130 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:24,116 Having children turned my mother into a mean, spiteful woman, 131 00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:25,993 and I want to be kind and generous 132 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:29,288 and not the sort of person who throws jewelry at their children in a fit of rage 133 00:05:29,288 --> 00:05:32,207 whenever the Duchess of Cornwall cancels tea time. 134 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:35,586 - Charlie, you and Valentina are still a very new relationship. 135 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,505 Valentina's nowhere near ready to have a baby. 136 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:41,133 [bed creaking] - Hi, Ellen. How'd the interview-- 137 00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:43,719 [gasps] Kitty! [cat growling] 138 00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:46,013 Oh hi, little baby! 139 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,556 [growling continues] 140 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,224 Aw... 141 00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:51,852 Mama loves you. Yeah. [meow] 142 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,520 [giggles] 143 00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:57,065 SOPHIE'S MOM: We fell asleep after an amazing night, 144 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,860 and all felt right with the world, 145 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,112 until... - I love you, Sophie. 146 00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:04,114 ♪ 147 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,871 ♪ 148 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:20,839 - Hey, you. - Ah! 149 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,591 I mean... 150 00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:25,135 hey! [Jesse laughs] 151 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,137 - Last night was pretty great, huh? 152 00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:30,265 I mean, two times? What are we, porn stars? 153 00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:31,767 [both laugh] 154 00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:34,728 I think keeping the laptop off my crotch has really paid off. 155 00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,272 FUTURE SOPHIE: Son, I'm not proud of this, 156 00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,149 but I wasn't used to guys 157 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:41,693 wearing their hearts on their sleeves, 158 00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,529 and it freaked me the F out. 159 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,072 - You gotta go now. 160 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:48,242 I mean, I've got to... 161 00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:49,910 start getting ready for my gallery show. 162 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,787 - Really? Already? - Mm-hmm. 163 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,205 - It's not for, like, 10 hours. 164 00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:55,415 - Yeah. But then, I-- You know, I gotta shower. 165 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,167 And then another shower, 166 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,752 and maybe squeeze in one more shower. 167 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,171 One thing you're going to learn about me is I love showers. 168 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,590 - Uh, okay. - Tata for now! 169 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:06,927 - Wow. 170 00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:10,138 All turned around from two times with Jesse. 171 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,768 - Wow. I have never planned two weddings for one couple before. 172 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,812 Love the Pinterest board you sent over, by the way. 173 00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:19,731 - Yeah! Dope boards, huh? You like the rustic chalkboard table signs? 174 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,650 - Truly inspired. 175 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,652 I've never seen anything like it before. 176 00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:27,364 Anyway, here's what I think we're looking at price-wise 177 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,199 for the New York wedding. HANNAH: Okay. 178 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:35,038 - Uh... I had to move my head to get to the end of this number, Lisa. 179 00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:36,623 This is too long of a number. 180 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,586 - And here's what I think we're looking at for the Indian wedding. 181 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:44,506 - Oh my god, you better tell me that's in rupees! 182 00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:46,633 - What did you think this was going to cost? 183 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,385 You're supposed to enter on a white horse. 184 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:51,513 - I can get you a great deal on a white horse. Do not ask me how. 185 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,433 Okay, you can ask me how. 186 00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:55,767 - How? - How? 187 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,227 You've heard of Tiger King? 188 00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:58,478 SID: Yeah. - Well, 189 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,522 I am in an on-again, off-again relationship 190 00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:01,899 with the White Horse King. 191 00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:04,318 And right now, we are on, baby. 192 00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:09,907 - She fits perfectly in my arms. [purrs] 193 00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,618 It's like they were made for you... 194 00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:14,161 - Oh god. 195 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:16,413 - I also just... 196 00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:20,918 adore her. [laughs] [howling] 197 00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:21,919 Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! - Whoa! 198 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,339 - I can't take this anymore. Valentina... 199 00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:28,091 I don't want kids, okay? 200 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:31,178 Not now. Not ever. 201 00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:34,181 - Uh... What? - Yesterday, you said, "One day, 202 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,225 we'd watch soccer with our future children," and I... 203 00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:39,645 care about you too much to not be honest with you. 204 00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,606 I'm never going to want children. 205 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,108 - Oh. 206 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:47,694 Got it. 207 00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:52,783 - Claw-kward. [growling] 208 00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:58,330 - I don't understand why you're suddenly freaking out about costs! 209 00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:01,291 You're the one who wanted a second international wedding. 210 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:04,336 - Yeah, when I thought our lives were about to get way less expensive. 211 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:07,464 Like, Hannah, I thought, we were gonna live in one city and share one apartment, 212 00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,716 not constantly be flying across the country 213 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,886 to maintain some semblance of a relationship. 214 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,306 - What happened to us being a bicoastal power couple? 215 00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:17,933 - Hannah, what do you want me to say? 216 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,185 Babe, I support you, 217 00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:23,146 but we both know doing this for another year, it's-- 218 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,356 it sounds hard as hell. 219 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,237 - Sounds like you're not even sure we should be planning 220 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,239 one wedding, let alone two. 221 00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:35,701 [sighs] 222 00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,870 - Bad news. 223 00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:40,831 Me and the White Horse King are off again. 224 00:09:40,831 --> 00:09:42,833 We're off. 225 00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:46,587 FUTURE SOPHIE: I showed up at the guys' apartment before my gallery show, 226 00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:49,464 determined to talk about the sleep "I love you" 227 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,175 and move past it. 228 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:54,803 After all, he was pretty damn cute. 229 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,889 - Hey. - Hey. 230 00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:00,642 ♪ soft, romantic music ♪ 231 00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:06,440 - I, uh, I took the liberty of... 232 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,150 making you a peach margarita. 233 00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:10,485 I even hand-muddled the peaches myself. - Hm. 234 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,237 - That's right. I muddle. 235 00:10:14,198 --> 00:10:15,199 [clink] 236 00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:19,912 - Mm! - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 237 00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:22,414 [clears throat] 238 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,334 Jesse, last night, something... 239 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:29,171 funny happened, and it's no big deal. 240 00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:31,924 It-it kinda freaked me out, and I just wanted to talk about it. 241 00:10:31,924 --> 00:10:34,384 - Okay, I'm not normally completely hairless down there. 242 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,012 It's just I was listening to a podcast while I was manscaping, 243 00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:39,389 and I just completely lost track of what I was doing. 244 00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:40,849 - No, not that. 245 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,601 Although, I, uh, was wondering. 246 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,231 Last night in your sleep, you... 247 00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,650 told me you loved me. 248 00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,777 - Oh god. I did? 249 00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:56,365 This is worse than when I sleep-sang Tradition from Fiddler on the Roof 250 00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:58,242 at overnight camp. 251 00:10:58,242 --> 00:11:01,078 In case you're wondering, I remained a virgin that summer. 252 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,957 - God, I already feel better that we're talking, 253 00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:07,668 and we could just laugh about this together. 254 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:10,128 Me first. Ha! That was so crazy! 255 00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:14,925 - I mean, it's not that crazy. 256 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,095 Well, it's not like we're two strangers who just met at a bar. 257 00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:19,888 We've been friends for a while now. 258 00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:21,640 We've built a solid foundation. 259 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,059 I even said no to going on tour with Meredith for you. 260 00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,020 - You did what? - Oh yeah. 261 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,565 Meredith wanted me to play piano for her on tour. 262 00:11:29,565 --> 00:11:31,400 She also basically said she wanted to get back together, 263 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,778 and both of those things would have been a dream come true a few weeks ago, but... 264 00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:37,406 Hey, I-I didn't even give it a second thought because... 265 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,616 I'm crazy about you. 266 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,244 ♪ 267 00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:43,745 - Jesse, I... 268 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,123 I like you, too. 269 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,710 It... 270 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:52,921 It's kind of a lot to hear that you gave up going on tour for me 271 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,840 because it's what you always dreamed of doing. 272 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,758 - So-so... 273 00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:58,552 what are you saying? You think I should have gone? 274 00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:02,514 - I don't know. Maybe. 275 00:12:03,849 --> 00:12:06,435 If you only said no for me, 276 00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,520 and this is brand new. I mean, 277 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,355 we don't even know if this is going to work out. 278 00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:12,441 - Got it. Uh... 279 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:16,028 So, you think I should go on tour with my ex. 280 00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:19,156 I read you loud and clear, Sophie. 281 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,204 - I-I don't know what to say. 282 00:12:25,204 --> 00:12:27,873 - Uh, I do. I-I'd like you to go. 283 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:29,750 ♪ 284 00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:30,792 Please. 285 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,879 FUTURE SOPHIE: I had no idea what to do. 286 00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:36,256 I mean, part of me wanted to run back in there 287 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:39,051 and to tell him that I had made a huge mistake. 288 00:12:39,051 --> 00:12:40,761 But the other part of me 289 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:43,305 wanted to run as far as humanly possible. 290 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,433 I decided to split the difference 291 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,477 and go to the bar downstairs 292 00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:49,978 to clear my head. 293 00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:54,274 - Hm. 294 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,527 This is what this place looks like. 295 00:12:57,069 --> 00:12:58,695 Weird we never come in here. 296 00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:03,742 Uh, one whiskey, please. 297 00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:05,661 Up, neat, and on the rocks. 298 00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:09,331 - That is not an order that makes sense. 299 00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,124 - Oh. [laughs] 300 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,419 Yeah, I-I don't actually know how to order whiskey. 301 00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:17,256 It's just been a day, and... 302 00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:18,298 it seems like the kind of thing 303 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,133 that people order when they're feeling a little extra-- 304 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,677 WOMAN: Good extra or bad extra? 305 00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:23,262 ♪ 306 00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:28,225 - Oh my god. 307 00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:30,519 Robin Scherbatsky? 308 00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:33,272 I know you from the news. [laughs] 309 00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:35,524 - Hear that, Carl? She's a fan. 310 00:13:35,524 --> 00:13:36,900 I have fans. 311 00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,111 - Yeah, most famous people don't go around saying, 312 00:13:39,111 --> 00:13:40,779 "I have fans," but okay. 313 00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:43,282 - What was that, Carl? I didn't hear you. I was focused on my fan. 314 00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:48,912 - I mean, seriously, my friend Valentina and I are obsessed with you. 315 00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:51,164 I remember th-the story you did on the bullfighters, 316 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,333 where you actually got in the ring and got... 317 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,835 BOTH: Gored by a bull. 318 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,421 - I loved that so much. 319 00:13:58,088 --> 00:14:00,132 - You're kind of a mean fan, huh? 320 00:14:00,132 --> 00:14:03,927 - No! No, no. Seriously, it was so bad-ass. 321 00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,846 - Well, it was bad for my ass. 322 00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,931 The ER doc in Seville spent six hours 323 00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:10,642 tweezing bullhorn fragments from my left butt cheek. 324 00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:12,019 But, uh, back to you. 325 00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:13,854 Was today "good" extra 326 00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:16,940 or "bullhorn to the ass" extra? 327 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,400 - Really? 328 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,277 A big famous reporter 329 00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:22,696 wants to hear about my stupid love life? 330 00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:25,282 - [sighs] Very, very much, actually. 331 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,494 Back in the day, my friends and I wasted years in this very bar, 332 00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:32,372 talking about our stupid love lives. 333 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,458 I stop in here whenever I'm in the neighborhood. 334 00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:36,376 - Hm. - So, 335 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:39,171 please tell me your stupid love story. 336 00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,798 Bring me back to the good old days. 337 00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:45,344 - Okay. [laughs] Well... 338 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,013 It all started in the back of an Uber. 339 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,515 - Nice. 340 00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:50,766 - Not like that. 341 00:14:50,766 --> 00:14:52,142 - Boo. 342 00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:56,188 - I-I'm surprised that you're so gung ho about this. 343 00:14:56,188 --> 00:14:58,398 I'd assumed that we were on the same page. 344 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:01,777 - I know kids seem very off brand for me, but... 345 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:04,488 I want it all. 346 00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:06,365 A big career, 347 00:15:06,365 --> 00:15:07,699 a big love story, 348 00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,701 and a big family. 349 00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,412 You really... 350 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,957 don't think you'll change your mind? 351 00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:18,460 - I don't think so. 352 00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:21,588 You? 353 00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:25,968 - I don't think so. [door opens] 354 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,137 [door shuts] [cat meowing] 355 00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:31,598 - She just reached under my bra and scratched my nipple. 356 00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:35,185 I think I'm in an abusive relationship with my emotional support animal. 357 00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,729 - Maybe you guys just need more time to bond. 358 00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:38,939 - No. 359 00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:40,232 Time won't help. 360 00:15:40,232 --> 00:15:42,150 Time hasn't helped my dating life. 361 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,861 It hasn't helped my job search. 362 00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:47,155 It's not gonna help my relationship with this feral cat. 363 00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:49,575 Nothing is coming up Ellen. [meow] 364 00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:51,910 Say goodbye to Kate Meow-Kinnon, everyone. 365 00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,161 [growls] 366 00:15:55,414 --> 00:15:58,125 Rachel? - Oh, perfect. 367 00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,752 It's the girl who pretended to be my dead grandma's best friend 368 00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:02,337 to try to get in my pants. 369 00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:03,839 - Oh... 370 00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:06,675 Just Ellen is fine. 371 00:16:08,177 --> 00:16:09,553 Is everything okay? 372 00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:11,221 - No. 373 00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,765 I was moving into my grandma's apartment yesterday, 374 00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:16,310 and somehow, in all the craziness, 375 00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:17,811 my cat went missing. 376 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,021 - I'm your cat! 377 00:16:20,189 --> 00:16:22,733 Sorry. I got too excited and I tanked that. 378 00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:25,611 But, I think... 379 00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:27,738 I found your cat wandering outside last night. 380 00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:29,448 - Oh my god, 381 00:16:29,448 --> 00:16:32,367 my sweet baby! 382 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,369 Aw, you found Cal! 383 00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:38,040 So, you took care of her last night? 384 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,416 - Yeah. I... 385 00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:42,503 Thought she could be my emotional support cat, but... 386 00:16:43,212 --> 00:16:44,505 She hates me. 387 00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:48,634 So, you two have that in common. 388 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:52,471 - I don't hate you, Ellen. 389 00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:56,725 You just made a really insane first impression. 390 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,313 But maybe we deserve a second chance. 391 00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:03,440 - Achoo! 392 00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:05,859 Oh... 393 00:17:08,237 --> 00:17:11,281 How about a third chance? 394 00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:14,243 - Okay, just so I'm clear, 395 00:17:14,243 --> 00:17:17,621 you were really excited to try being with this guy Jesse. 396 00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:21,124 Right? But now that he's all in, you're not excited. 397 00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,752 - Kind of. Uh... 398 00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:26,463 We just got together, and now, 399 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:28,632 he's turning down tours for me 400 00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:31,009 and dropping sleep "I love you's"? 401 00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:33,011 Like, it's too much too soon. 402 00:17:33,846 --> 00:17:36,890 - I once had a guy say, "I love you," on our first date. 403 00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:39,434 - Wow. [laughs] You win. 404 00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,353 Dude sounds like a real piece of work. 405 00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:43,355 - You have no idea. [laughs] 406 00:17:44,273 --> 00:17:46,191 But, a good piece of work. 407 00:17:46,817 --> 00:17:49,236 Which brings me to my advice. 408 00:17:51,029 --> 00:17:53,365 Do not waste your time being scared, Sophie. 409 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,326 Fear can make you run away from things 410 00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:58,620 that could be good, great even. 411 00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:00,622 Things that are supposed to be a part of your story. 412 00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:03,083 So, really think about it. 413 00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:04,793 What did Jesse do wrong 414 00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:08,046 other than say everything you ever wanted a guy to say 415 00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:10,966 just faster than you expected? 416 00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:14,595 - Nothing. 417 00:18:15,888 --> 00:18:17,389 He did nothing wrong. 418 00:18:18,557 --> 00:18:20,058 I'm just... 419 00:18:21,602 --> 00:18:23,395 scared. - There it is. 420 00:18:25,731 --> 00:18:28,317 Sophie, I have been married, I've been single, 421 00:18:28,317 --> 00:18:30,444 I have been everything in between. 422 00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:33,488 And the only decisions I regret making 423 00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:35,490 are the ones I made out of fear. 424 00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:37,993 So do me a favor, okay? 425 00:18:37,993 --> 00:18:40,746 Time travel 20 years into the future 426 00:18:40,746 --> 00:18:43,665 and ask future you, "Future me, 427 00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:45,584 "what do I wish I'd done 20 years ago, 428 00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:47,336 "the night I met smoking hot, 429 00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:49,421 "yet somehow still full of gravitas, 430 00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:52,090 news superstar Robin Scherbatsky?" 431 00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:55,260 And whatever future you says, 432 00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:56,595 do that. 433 00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,181 - Okay. 434 00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:01,767 I've got to go talk to Jesse! 435 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:05,979 You know, the-the truth is my feelings about love 436 00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,482 are complicated because I never knew my dad, 437 00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:10,317 and my mom's relationships were a mess. 438 00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:13,070 - Yeah, maybe save unpacking your whole childhood for Jesse. 439 00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:14,947 I have a limo picking me up in 10. 440 00:19:15,531 --> 00:19:17,407 - Yeah. Save it for Jesse. Okay. 441 00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:18,825 Robin, thank you. 442 00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,118 - Good luck. 443 00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:22,371 ♪ 444 00:19:22,371 --> 00:19:23,413 ♪ Juliet ♪ 445 00:19:24,748 --> 00:19:26,083 ♪ When we made love ♪ 446 00:19:26,083 --> 00:19:28,418 ♪ You used to cry ♪ 447 00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:30,712 ♪ Said I love you like the stars above ♪ 448 00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:33,131 ♪ I love you till I die ♪ 449 00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:36,134 ♪ There's a place for us ♪ 450 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:39,346 ♪ You know the movie song... ♪ 451 00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:47,229 ♪ soft music ♪ 452 00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:52,568 - I went to talk to Jesse... 453 00:19:52,568 --> 00:19:54,194 - No need to thank me. Just, you know, 454 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:56,238 name your first born Robin. [laughs] 455 00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,782 - And I-I walked in on him with this ex. 456 00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:01,660 - Well, I was more helping you get to the place 457 00:20:01,660 --> 00:20:03,829 where you made that decision, so... 458 00:20:03,829 --> 00:20:05,038 [sighs] 459 00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:06,707 Y... Maybe, 460 00:20:06,707 --> 00:20:09,668 he's not such a bad guy, this Jesse. 461 00:20:09,668 --> 00:20:12,045 If I've learned anything at all about love, 462 00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:14,047 it's that timing is everything. 463 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,968 And sometimes, timing's a bitch. 464 00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,221 Speaking of, I'm sorry, 465 00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:24,224 but I have a dinner with, uh, Savannah Guthrie and Katie Couric. 466 00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:30,731 You're gonna be okay. - You promise? 467 00:20:30,731 --> 00:20:32,399 - I do. 468 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,651 But, I'll meet future you back here in 20 years 469 00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:36,403 for a drink just to make sure. 470 00:20:37,905 --> 00:20:39,406 - It's a date. - Good. 471 00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:42,659 But that one's on you. Mama's not made of money. 472 00:20:46,371 --> 00:20:48,957 FUTURE SOPHIE: And so, I headed to the exhibition 473 00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:52,419 to see one of my photos hanging in a real New York gallery 474 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:53,962 for the very first time. 475 00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:56,423 I was determined to enjoy my moment 476 00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:59,510 and forget about any boy drama for the night. 477 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,597 Easier said than done. 478 00:21:03,597 --> 00:21:06,767 ♪ 479 00:21:08,519 --> 00:21:11,480 - Ms. Tompkins, is that you? 480 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,565 - Oh my god. It is you. 481 00:21:13,565 --> 00:21:15,275 You are, like, my favorite photographer. 482 00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:16,485 [excited squeal] 483 00:21:16,485 --> 00:21:18,904 I'm so proud of you! [laughs] 484 00:21:18,904 --> 00:21:20,906 - Guys, thank you for coming. 485 00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:23,534 [laughing] 486 00:21:26,245 --> 00:21:28,455 - What's... What's going on with you? 487 00:21:30,207 --> 00:21:32,000 - Okay, fine. I have a date 488 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:35,587 with the most beautiful girl in the whole world. 489 00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:36,630 And that's not all. 490 00:21:39,633 --> 00:21:42,928 [musical ringtone] 491 00:21:44,388 --> 00:21:46,098 Hello? - Ellen. 492 00:21:46,098 --> 00:21:48,141 It's Marc from Goliath Market. 493 00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:49,810 I just got your joke. 494 00:21:50,394 --> 00:21:52,437 I'm the head of lettuce. 495 00:21:52,437 --> 00:21:54,022 [laughs] 496 00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:55,566 You're hilarious. 497 00:21:55,566 --> 00:21:57,359 I'm offering you the job. 498 00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,278 - Oh my god! Congrats! 499 00:21:59,278 --> 00:22:01,905 - Thank you! Thank you. 500 00:22:03,073 --> 00:22:06,243 I bet I'm the most successful lesbian named Ellen in the whole world. 501 00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:08,704 Oh. 502 00:22:09,413 --> 00:22:11,373 - There she is! Lady of the hour. 503 00:22:11,373 --> 00:22:13,250 - Oh, you guys. Thank you for coming. 504 00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:15,460 I know you're just slammed with wedding planning. 505 00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:17,171 - Oh, uh, actually, 506 00:22:17,171 --> 00:22:19,214 we are not slammed anymore. 507 00:22:20,299 --> 00:22:22,050 Wide open, actually. 508 00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:26,305 - Because we're married! - Oh! 509 00:22:26,305 --> 00:22:29,308 [all exclaiming] 510 00:22:29,308 --> 00:22:32,311 [overlapping congratulations] 511 00:22:32,311 --> 00:22:34,730 HANNAH: Oh, thank you! ELLEN: Congrats! 512 00:22:34,730 --> 00:22:37,733 - Thanks. The weddings were just getting so stressful and expensive. 513 00:22:37,733 --> 00:22:40,068 We were like, you know what? Let's just go to City Hall, get it done. 514 00:22:40,068 --> 00:22:41,904 - Well, I think this calls for a toast, hm? 515 00:22:43,864 --> 00:22:46,158 [Sid laughs] 516 00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:49,995 - Hey, where's your muse, by the way? 517 00:22:50,913 --> 00:22:52,831 - He's... 518 00:22:52,831 --> 00:22:55,250 he's not coming. 519 00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:57,961 - Soph, what happened? - Um... 520 00:22:59,296 --> 00:23:00,714 Not tonight. 521 00:23:02,674 --> 00:23:05,177 Sid and Hannah look so happy. 522 00:23:06,803 --> 00:23:08,764 Who knows? Maybe you and Charlie are next. 523 00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:12,935 - Um... 524 00:23:13,852 --> 00:23:15,479 I don't think so. Um... 525 00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:19,650 We broke up. 526 00:23:20,108 --> 00:23:22,361 - Oh, Val... - Not tonight. 527 00:23:22,361 --> 00:23:25,364 Tonight, we celebrate my friend Sophie, 528 00:23:25,364 --> 00:23:28,659 the most talented photographer in New York City. 529 00:23:37,292 --> 00:23:40,754 - So, let's get back to those rich strangers going through a divorce. 530 00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:42,089 SOPHIE'S SON: What? No! 531 00:23:42,089 --> 00:23:44,883 This is not a good time to return to those boat freaks! 532 00:23:44,883 --> 00:23:46,301 - Oh, you're wrong. 533 00:23:46,301 --> 00:23:48,262 It's the perfect time. 534 00:23:48,262 --> 00:23:50,889 And as Robin Scherbatsky taught me, 535 00:23:50,889 --> 00:23:52,808 timing is everything. 536 00:23:52,808 --> 00:23:54,852 - I hate boats! 537 00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:57,938 - I haven't hurt this bad since someone stole that pineapple 538 00:23:57,938 --> 00:24:00,607 off my front doorstep in aught five. 539 00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:02,067 Oh, fine. 540 00:24:02,568 --> 00:24:04,027 You can have all the boats, 541 00:24:04,027 --> 00:24:07,447 but not the one in Australia. 542 00:24:07,447 --> 00:24:10,659 What those marine biologists are doing down there is important! 543 00:24:11,201 --> 00:24:13,579 They're trying to help coral reef procreate. 544 00:24:13,579 --> 00:24:16,373 SOPHIE'S SON: Oh my god. So, the Captain owned the boat that-- 545 00:24:16,373 --> 00:24:18,584 - That's right. - So, what happened? 546 00:24:18,584 --> 00:24:20,335 Did Becky let them continue the mission? 547 00:24:22,296 --> 00:24:25,299 ♪ 548 00:24:26,592 --> 00:24:29,344 - Weird. That guy... 549 00:24:29,344 --> 00:24:30,971 looks just like... 550 00:24:31,805 --> 00:24:33,807 FUTURE SOPHIE: No, she did not. 551 00:24:33,807 --> 00:24:34,975 - Ian. 552 00:24:34,975 --> 00:24:36,810 ♪ For one more try ♪ 553 00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:39,897 ♪ At a happy life ♪ 554 00:24:40,647 --> 00:24:41,899 [sighs] 555 00:24:41,899 --> 00:24:44,693 ♪ So, what do you say? ♪ 556 00:24:46,695 --> 00:24:48,322 Hi. - Hi. 557 00:24:49,239 --> 00:24:51,241 Is this a good time? 558 00:24:51,241 --> 00:24:55,579 ♪ 559 00:24:57,748 --> 00:25:01,251 ♪ Woo-hoo-hoo... ♪ 560 00:25:01,585 --> 00:25:05,422 ♪ Woo-hoo-hoo... ♪ 561 00:25:05,422 --> 00:25:07,466 ♪ Woo-oo-oo... ♪ 562 00:25:09,426 --> 00:25:11,595 ♪ Woo-hoo-hoo ♪ 563 00:25:13,222 --> 00:25:15,474 ♪ Can't believe ♪ 564 00:25:16,725 --> 00:25:19,228 ♪ It's a rising tide ♪ 565 00:25:20,562 --> 00:25:23,565 ♪ Like an hourglass ♪ 566 00:25:24,483 --> 00:25:26,985 ♪ Running out of time... ♪ 567 00:25:27,035 --> 00:25:31,585 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41241

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