All language subtitles for The Goldbergs (2013) - 03x17 - The Dirty Dancing Dance.

The '80s was the decade
of great dance movies,

but nothing had the moves or magic

of the epic love
story "Dirty Dancing."

And no one loved it more
than Beverly Goldberg.

Somebody who's taught me...

...that there are people willing
to stand up for other people

no matter what it costs them.

Sit down, Jake.

Unfortunately, my mom dragged
me to see it with her...

17 times.

You said we could see "Spaceballs."

There's no space or
balls in this whole movie.

Hold my hand. Live this with me.

My mom was so obsessed,

she even bought a copy for
the low price of $89.99.

Nobody puts Baby in a corner.

Nobody!

My God, his arms are like
glistening tree trunks.

And... woof... Mama like that mullet.

"Dirty Dancing" was the only thing

that got my mom and
sister to get along.

For the first time ever,
they were, like, friends.

You know, this is actually
based on a true story.

I'm pretty sure that's not true.

It's real, and you can't
take that away from me.

Wait... maybe it can be!

The sucky losers on the
school dance committee

are still fighting over a theme.

We can do a "Dirty Dancing" dance!

Are you telling me you get
to live "Dirty Dancing,"

and I could live every moment through you?

That's not what I'm saying at all.

It's decided. We do this dance.

Aw, screw it! Help me plan it.

Lame!

Sorry, ladies.

Truth bomb coming in!

This one gonna hurt!

"Dirty Dancing" sucks!

No! Don't you ruin this for us!

There's only one dance movie
in this world that matters...

"Footloose"!

- Go away!
- Stop this at once!

It has it all... gymnastics,

bros bonding secretly with dance,

and a ruggedly handsome outsider

who dances into the hearts of a small town.

Please!

"Dirty Dancing" is at least realistic.

A beautiful girl dances into
the hearts of a small resort.

No. Patrick Swayze can only
be a badass roadhouse bouncer,

not some tight-pants-wearing
mountain dancer.

You are grounded for six weeks!

No TV or phone!

But I need the phone to talk
and the TV to watch television!

That's the point.

Fine! You take away my "Footloose,"

I take away your "Dirty Dancing."

- What?
- No!

- Hey!
- No!

Hands off my Swayze!

He's a bouncer! No!

Dancer!

He is a bouncer!

- He's a bouncer!
- Dancer!

- Dancer!
- He's a bouncer!

- Dancer!
- Dancer!

♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪

♪ But nonetheless, I
feel the need to say ♪

Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com

♪ I don't know the future ♪

♪ But the past keeps
getting clearer every day ♪

It was March 2nd, 1980-something,

and my mom had one
simple request of my dad.

Murray, there's something wrong with
the wheels on this vacuum cleaner.

Can you come down and take a look at it?

I just bought you a new
used one nine years ago!

I'm telling you, it's sticking.

See, if you just move it
back and forth, you know?

Seems fine to me.

Just move with it a little.

Just, uh, take a few steps forward

and a few steps back.

- Yeah.
- There it goes.

♪ Because I've had ♪

Just really get into the rhythm

- of the vacuum.
- ♪ The time of my life ♪

Oh-ho-ho,
no!

I see what you're doing. I am
not dancing with you.

Damn it!

I was inches away from
having the time of my life.

Inches!

♪ And I ... ♪

Hoo-hoo!

That was a close one, huh?

You mean, how you almost
gave your wife the one thing

she's desperately wanted
for the last 25 years?

The nerve of some people.

See? You get it. Why doesn't she?

Murray, it's important to her.

It's just dancing. What's the big deal?

For one thing, I literally

have never danced a day in my life.

And based upon my current energy level,

not gonna start soon.

Oh, stop.

Everyone's danced at some point.

Yeahhhh, not me.

You've never been in the
shower and hummed a few bars?

I'm all business in the shower.

Soap, rinse, out.

You've never once been driving,

and Miami Sound Machine comes on

and you tap your finger on the wheel?

Tap my finger? Who am I, Gregory Hines?

Are you trying to say
that even as a little boy,

you never once clapped
your hands to the radio?

My dad traded it for a bucket.

That's how I got my birthday bucket.

This is a nightmare!

And you're to blame.

True.

And it's going to be the first
school dance ever worth going to.

No. When will this "Dirty
Dancing" oppression end?!

When will everybody cut loose, footloose,

lick off your sundae spoons?!

Sweetie, I keep telling you,
the song is not about ice cream.

You don't know! No one does!

Hey, pretty pretty.

Guess you're gonna be looking for a partner
to practice those sensual moves with.

And it's not going to be you.

Come on, I know every single move
that Swayze does in that movie.

- Seriously?
- Ah, good for you.

Actually, I've never
seen it, but I will now,

and I will dedicate my life to
becoming your own personal Swayze.

You go full Swayze,

maybe I'll let you dance near me.

Proximity dance! It's a deal!

Yeah. No deal.

Hey!

There is no way "Dirty Dancing"

will ever be a theme at
a school-sanctioned dance.

Give me one good reason!

It's literally got "dirty" in the title,

not to mention it's wildly inappropriate.

Inappropriate?!

"Wildly inappropriate."

That piece of human

doesn't know what's
inappropriate for children.

He said the theme's
gonna be "Soda Pop Hop."

It's over, Mom.

Over?

Did Johnny Castle give up when he
was unjustly fired from Kellerman's?

No, he did not.

That's right!

He came back and danced dirty,

and so will you after I
march down to that school

and give Principal Ball a piece of my mind.

No. Let me march.

- You want to march?
- I do.

- Down there?!
- Yes!

To demand unrealistic
changes to school policy,

with a complete disdain
for reason and common sense?

I learned from the best.

I've never been prouder
to call you my daughter.

And I've never been proud to
be your daughter until now.

And so, for the first time,

Erica Goldberg
marched down to school

and channeled Beverly Goldberg.

And if you still say no,

I'll go above your shiny head to the PTA.

No, the school board.

No, the secretary of education.

So, what do you and
your coffee-stained tie

have to say to that?

- A month's detention.
- What?!

That's not how this is supposed to work!

The thing is, I'm an adult,

and the way you're speaking to
me is completely unacceptable.

But I'm a Goldberg. This is what we do.

And fortunately for both of
us, you're not your mother

and she's not here right now.

But... I think we could compromise

on something besides a dirty dance.

A compromise, huh?

Okay, door's always open,

but no more steamrolling me!

I want your respect. Understand?

Uh, I'm not following.

Thank goodness that's over.

As Erica was channeling
my mom at school,

my dad was being schooled by Pops.

Ah, Murray, perfect timing.

Come over here, take a seat.

I want you to look at
that handsome young man

and tell me what you see.

Someone who was still able
to drop his pants in peace.

No!

This is a photo of your first dance,

your first act as a married man,

and you're not even moving.

I moved plenty that day.

I walked down the aisle,
I stepped on the glass,

I walked back up the aisle.

I was a regular Carl Lewis.

Damn it, Murray, when you
asked for my daughter's hand,

you said you'd do everything
you could to make her happy.

Does that look
like happiness to you?

Ugh. Fine!

I'll do one dance, but I'm
not moving my lower half.

Did someone say "dance instructor"?

No! Where did you even come from?!

Come on! It's like "Footloose"!

You're the dopey farm
boy, and I'm Kevin Bacon!

Let me be your Bacon!

Don't distract me with bacon.

I'm not dancing.

Come on!

- ♪ Everybody cut footloose ♪
- Yeah! Feel the beat!

There's nothing wrong with
two bros bonding over dance.

Barry, this is a delicate situation.

You're making it worse!

Well, the infectious music of
Kenny Loggins will win him over.

It's not winning him over.

The human body is literally
programmed to love Loggins.

He can't say no!

No!

Hey!

What if I told you there was a way

that you could be a dancing god

without ever having to move your body?

No! Don't listen to him!

- I'm listening.
- All you got to do

is raise your hands over your head.

- At the same time?
- Yes.

You're gonna listen to this lazy-eyed nerd

when you have this at your disposal?

I'm gonna go with Adam's easy thing.

Okay, if you can pull this off with Mom,

you'll never have to dance again.

Are you insane? I can't do that!

And neither could Ferris
Bueller's lame-ass sister.

That is, until she learned how.

I'm in a pool. I don't
want to be in a pool.

In the movie, they were in a lake.

Would you rather be in a lake?

I'd rather be in my chair!

Put your hands up. I'll jump to you.

You catch me.

1... 2... 3.

Aah! My soft-belly meat!

I'm cold. Let's forget this.

This is your chance to make
Mom feel loved and delighted!

I'm freezing and miserable!

Don't you swim away from me!

What is that, a doggy paddle?

You're a grown man!

While my dad's plan to dance sank,

Erica was ready to
rise to the occasion.

Mom, guess what?

I actually got Principal Ball to say yes,

so the dirty dance is back on.

Well, that is very
surprising to me, Schmoop-aloo!

I can't believe I did it.

Uh, you! You did it, not me.

I was here mopping.

The dance is back on?

That means I can still Swayze you.

Let it go, Jeff.

I'm not gonna sensually gyrate with you.

I'm sorry, "gyrate"?

If I'm gonna get dirty with anyone,

it's gonna be Marc McGonagle.

Marc McGonagle?

Erica, I'm begging you.

Give me a chance to groove all up on you.

No. Do not do that.

Let our bodies speak without words.

Stop! Nobody's body is
speaking to any other bodies.

This is just a school dance.

Dirty dance.

Ugh, again with that awful movie.

Think about it, dude.

The school is letting us dirty-dance.

They want us to get freaky.

Unh!

Ladies' man Cogan bringing it dirty, y'all!

That was not in the movie.

Yeah, we never saw the movie,

but the title says it all.

Guys, if you're gonna dirty-dance,

at least do it right.

What have I done?

- Florida.
- Yes.

After my dad's botched dance lesson,

it seemed this was as
close to "Dirty Dancing"

as he would get.

Look at him. Has to be special effects.

No man can lift a tiny lady like that.

You're finally watching that movie, huh?

I know I promised I'd
take Bevy out dancing,

but I can't do it.

I'll look stupid.

Since when do you care about how you look?

You spend half your life
puttering around this house

in your underpants.

Well, that's about comfort.

It's also a warning shot to outsiders

that you're not welcome.

All I'm saying is, you always

care less about what other people think.

Why is this different?

Let me be honest with you.

I don't like to move my body.

Yeah, we've met.

Now, the thing is, I'm afraid.

Dancing in front of all those
people with their judgy eyes...

I-I can't do it.

Well, you'll never know how
you'll look if you don't try.

Pops was right. My dad
had to see for himself.

Luckily, he spotted
my trusty camera.

And, with no one around,

he decided to give dancing a shot.

He grooved, he grinded,

he gyrated,

he did... whatever this is.

Look at me! Ha ha ha!

I'm a guy who dances now!

He danced like no one was watching,

and luckily, no one was.

Just a reminder, I will be performing

with with my barbershop
quartet, The Princi-pals,

at the open mike Thursday...

♪ ni-i-ght ♪

Stop the announcements. We need to talk.

No, no, no, no, no!

We had an agreement over stern eye contact

that if I gave in to your
daughter's dance demands,

you would stay far away from my office.

But that was before I
realized that you were right

and there can be no dance.

But you forced me to flip-flop!

I flipped! I can't flop back!

I didn't know how dirty
that dance was gonna be!

Which is why I wanted
it to be a Soda Pop Hop!

It was my favorite dance as a teen,

but no one's embraced it.

Well, I'm embracing it, Earl.

Fine! The dirty dance
is once again dead.

One thing... my daughter,
Erica, must never know

that I had anything to do with this.

I think that's your mom!

Yes, thank you, Lainey!

You.

Hey!

What's up, best friend
who's also my daughter?

The P.A. system was on the whole time.

The whole school heard
every crazy word you said.

Oopsie.

You completely betrayed me.

Who does that?!

A normal mama who loves
you and you love back?

For once, I thought we were a team

and had something in common.

Turns out, we never will.

As Erica left my mom feeling low,

my dad was still high
on his sweet moves.

Hoo-hoo! Look at me go!

I have to admit, at first,
I was a little bit nervous,

but now look at me!

Burn this.

I'm sorry?

This must never be seen by anyone.

I'm not following.

If you love my daughter,

you won't do any of this ever again.

You said I wouldn't know if
I could dance until I tried.

Well, you tried and now we know.

You cannot and should not dance.

Look at this.

Oh, no!

Adam, no, turn away!

It'll change you forever!

Oh, no, no, no! What am I looking at?!

Turn away!

I want to, but I can't.

It's like the Ark from "Raiders"!

You promised you wouldn't judge me,

but I'm feeling a lot of judging right now.

Don't make yourself the victim in this.

That boy is the victim.

All I did was walk into the room.

Okay, I know you're super pissed at Mom.

Well, I got good news.

Let my sanctuary heal you!

I come here to release my
angry rage that I always have.

- How?
- A little thing called...

- the angry dance.
- That's not a thing.

Tell that to Kevin Bacon's
body double in "Footloose."

Go on. Angry-dance!

Unleash your pain with tumbles and flips!

You're an idiot.

I'm trying to help you here.

The only thing you're doing
is proving what a dope you are.

Your words make me so angry!

Dance it out, Barry. Dance it out.

♪ I've been working so hard ♪

♪ I'm punching my card ♪

♪ Eight hours for what? ♪

♪ Oh, tell me what I got ♪

♪ I've got this feeling ♪

♪ That time's just
holding me down ♪

♪ I'll hit the ceiling ♪

♪ Or else I'll
tear up this town ♪

♪ Now I gotta cut loose ♪

♪ Footloose ♪

♪ Kick off the Sunday shoes ♪

♪ Loose, footloose ♪

♪ Everybody cut footloose ♪

Now it's your turn. Fight
the power with dance!

Okay, I will never
do what you just did.

But you were right about one thing.

I can and will
fight the power with dance.

Since when do we need
permission to dance dirty?

We are gonna go to that dance and get dirty

whether Principal Ball likes it or not.

That's right. You can't stop this.

Exactly, although never do that again.

The Soda Pop Hop was in full effect.

It was less than thrilling.

The '50s suck.

To think I dressed up in my
good Rush shirt and everything.

Thankfully for every
kid in that gym,

Erica and her friends
had other plans.

It's 21:00.

Operation "Dance My Way
Into Erica's Heart" is a go.

- That is not the name!
- It's way too long.

Yep, Erica was a
girl on a mission...

make a squeaky-clean
dance a little more dirty.

Baby has the watermelon.

- Roger.
- 10-4.

- I love sharing secrets with you!
- You're so loud.

- Way too loud.
- I knew it.

♪ Sometimes loving dreams
really do come true ♪

Hey, dude, some guy,
like, barfed on your van.

What? Who?

Who? Uh... me?

I'll kill you!

It was a needlessly intricate plan

that was ready to rock 'n' roll...

that is, until Barry rolled up.

It's boom time!

Stop! I don't know what this is, but stop!

It's a confetti cannon.

Now cut-up paper will
endlessly rain down on us

like in the final scene of "Footloose."

I told you...

this is "Dirty Dancing," not "Footloose"!

Hello? An authority figure

has banned us from moving our bodies.

Seriously, Erica, I pity you.

I pity you both.

There is no way I'm letting you

ruin this wonderful Soda Pop Hop!

Both of you, out!

If I'm going out, I'm going out dirty!

Hit it, Lainey!

And just like that,

my sister took a leap of faith.

- ♪ Now I've had the time of my life ♪
- No!

It's a dance about soda!

- ♪ No, I never felt like this before ♪
- Just like you practiced, dude. You can do this.

- ♪ Yes, I swear ♪
- Too fast!

- Slow down!
- ♪ It's the truth ♪

Maybe too big.

Ohhh, I just blew it.

And...

footloose!

Tell me where she is,

and I'll get the ball rolling
by calling her a moron.

My office.

And it is thrilling

to finally be on the same page for once.

I'm so sorry about all of this, Earl.

I never should've shown her that movie.

It's just too dirty for a child to handle.

I get it. I'm a parent, too.

Our job is to save these
kids from themselves,

even if it means crushing a dream or two.

Good luck.

It turned out, my mom was
living "Dirty Dancing,"

but she wasn't Baby...

she was her controlling
parent, Jerry Orbach,

and that was a role
she refused to play.

Mom, I know I screwed up...

humiliated myself.

Got cake in my ear and
inhaled some confetti.

And I'm grounded for life, which I deserve.

No, you don't.

What?

So, you wanted to live "Dirty Dancing."

Nobody gets that more than me.

I'd love to be Baby...

get swept off my feet

and spun around the dance floor.

Honestly, it's all I've ever wanted.

I know it can't happen for me,

but, uh, it still can for you.

What are you saying?

Nobody puts my baby in a corner.

And so, with the help of our mom,

Erica cleaned herself
off and took center stage

to have the time of her life.

♪ Now I've ♪

♪ Had the time of my life ♪

♪ No, I never felt
like this before ♪

♪ Yes, I swear ♪

♪ It's the truth ♪

♪ And I owe it all to you-ou ♪

♪ I've been waiting
for so long ♪

I think she gets that from me.

What in heaven's name is happening?

I brought you here to
shut this nonsense down,

not make it worse!

The dirty dance is back on!

You might want to Orbach
these kids, but not me.

- I miss the '50s.
- ♪ Just remember ♪

♪ You're the one thing ♪

Just look at them. It's not even 9:30.

Hey, I know it's not "Footloose,"

but will you just dance a little?

For me?

I'll do it... but I won't like it.

♪ This could be love ♪

♪ Because ♪

♪ I've had ♪

♪ The time of my life ♪

♪ No, I never felt
this way before ♪

Sure, we didn't magically
do the same dance number

like in the movies.

In fact, most of us weren't
good dancers at all.

But for the first time,
it didn't seem to matter.

♪ Hey, baby ♪

I'm really doing it!

I can't believe it, either!

- My baby is Baby!
- ♪ With my body and soul ♪

♪ I want you more than
you'll ever know ♪

Wow. Um, that was something.

It was everything.

Like you.

♪ Yes, I know what's
on your mind ♪

You talked and ruined it.

Of course.

♪ When you say "Stay
with me tonight" ♪

Look at her go.

Living her dream.

- ♪ You're the one thing I can't get enough of ♪
- It's time you live yours, too.

Come on.

Ohh.

In that moment,

my mom wasn't just watching
"Dirty Dancing" for the 18th time.

She was living it
for the very first.

It's all she ever wanted.

♪ No, I never felt
this way before ♪

For one unforgettable night,

everyone in that gym
felt like Jennifer Grey.

We moved like Swayze

and were as footloose
as Kevin Bacon.

We all ruled that dance
floor, and it was epic.

♪ The time of my life ♪

- _
- ♪ No, I never felt this way before ♪

♪ Yes, I swear, it's the truth ♪

- _
- ♪ And I owe it all to... ♪

Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com