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1
00:00:16,698 --> 00:00:19,075
You know, Niles,
I think I'm going to have a dinner party.
2
00:00:19,242 --> 00:00:20,327
You care to co-host?
3
00:00:20,535 --> 00:00:22,329
What a lovely idea.
What's the occasion?
4
00:00:22,537 --> 00:00:23,955
Actually, I got the idea last night
5
00:00:24,122 --> 00:00:27,167
when we bumped into Gene
and Hollis Ashby at the symphony.
6
00:00:27,334 --> 00:00:28,835
I want to get to know them better.
7
00:00:29,002 --> 00:00:30,629
Me too.
They're such a charming couple.
8
00:00:30,795 --> 00:00:33,340
They remind me of Maris and me
when we were happy.
9
00:00:35,175 --> 00:00:38,720
Really? I must have been sick
that day.
10
00:00:41,431 --> 00:00:44,058
- Oh, well, Roz.
- Thank you.
11
00:00:44,225 --> 00:00:46,311
- Is that your dry cleaning?
- No, it's Daphne's.
12
00:00:46,478 --> 00:00:49,814
Alice spit up on her dress
so I had to have it dry-cleaned for her.
13
00:00:49,981 --> 00:00:52,483
I also had to buy her
a new pair of shoes and detail her car.
14
00:00:52,650 --> 00:00:54,903
I've never seen a kid so sick.
15
00:00:55,069 --> 00:00:56,446
Hey, Roz. You look gorgeous.
16
00:00:56,613 --> 00:00:58,156
Thanks. How much time do we have?
17
00:00:58,323 --> 00:01:00,825
- Twenty minutes. I better get changed.
- Where are you going?
18
00:01:00,992 --> 00:01:02,744
Daphne has friends
at the British Consulate.
19
00:01:02,910 --> 00:01:05,246
They're having a big reception
and she got us invitations.
20
00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:09,500
Who knows? Maybe you'll meet some
English lord who'll make you a lady.
21
00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:13,463
I think at this point it would take
the actual Lord to make her a lady.
22
00:01:14,005 --> 00:01:18,593
Well, let's pick a date for our party.
You've got your book?
23
00:01:19,385 --> 00:01:21,095
Let's see.
24
00:01:21,971 --> 00:01:25,641
- The first is no good.
- No, wine club.
25
00:01:25,808 --> 00:01:28,144
- Nor the second.
- Library fund-raiser.
26
00:01:28,311 --> 00:01:30,313
- The third, no.
- Fourth, fifth or sixth?
27
00:01:30,479 --> 00:01:32,773
No, no, no, no.
28
00:01:32,982 --> 00:01:34,609
No, no, no.
29
00:01:34,775 --> 00:01:37,069
- Oh, what about the 11th?
- No, concert tickets.
30
00:01:37,278 --> 00:01:40,615
- Oh, really? I don't have that marked.
- Yes, I'm taking a date.
31
00:01:41,699 --> 00:01:43,409
Well, isn't that nice? The 11th,
32
00:01:43,576 --> 00:01:46,370
"Expect desperate, last-minute call
33
00:01:46,579 --> 00:01:50,750
from F."
34
00:01:52,001 --> 00:01:55,921
- Anything the next week?
- No. No.
35
00:01:56,088 --> 00:01:58,924
- I've got the 19th.
- I've got the 19th.
36
00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:01,385
- The 19th it is then.
- Huzzah!
37
00:02:04,096 --> 00:02:05,890
- Hey, boys. What's up?
- Hey, Dad.
38
00:02:06,098 --> 00:02:09,101
Well, actually, after an unusually
protracted game of duelling date books,
39
00:02:09,268 --> 00:02:11,520
Niles and I have set upon
a mutually acceptable evening
40
00:02:11,687 --> 00:02:13,689
for an intime soiree.
41
00:02:15,608 --> 00:02:16,775
We're having a dinner party.
42
00:02:16,984 --> 00:02:19,528
Oh, sounds good.
Any night but the 19th.
43
00:02:20,738 --> 00:02:22,656
Well, what's wrong with the 19th?
44
00:02:22,865 --> 00:02:24,241
My poker game's here that night.
45
00:02:24,450 --> 00:02:25,701
- Can't you reschedule it?
- No.
46
00:02:25,868 --> 00:02:28,954
It's always the third Saturday
of the month, and everybody shows.
47
00:02:29,121 --> 00:02:31,623
You know, Jimmy once postponed
his daughter's wedding
48
00:02:31,790 --> 00:02:33,125
just so that he could be here.
49
00:02:33,333 --> 00:02:36,378
And if you ever saw his daughter,
you'd know how risky that was.
50
00:02:37,337 --> 00:02:39,548
Gee, Dad, you know,
we wouldn't ask
51
00:02:39,715 --> 00:02:41,758
if there were any other date
that worked.
52
00:02:41,967 --> 00:02:43,844
Do you really expect me
to just give up my game
53
00:02:44,011 --> 00:02:46,430
just so that you can have
one of your intime soirees?
54
00:02:46,638 --> 00:02:48,974
I knew he knew what that meant.
55
00:02:49,266 --> 00:02:51,435
Dad, please, couldn't you at least
make a few calls?
56
00:02:51,602 --> 00:02:52,644
Look, I'll tell you what.
57
00:02:52,853 --> 00:02:55,397
If you can change the day,
I'll cover your losses that night.
58
00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:59,818
Well, all right, I'll try. But, you know,
these guys lead pretty busy lives.
59
00:02:59,985 --> 00:03:01,653
I can't always get in touch
with them.
60
00:03:01,862 --> 00:03:05,032
Yes, let's hope that dog track
has a PA system.
61
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,742
All right, Niles, back to our party.
62
00:03:06,908 --> 00:03:09,161
Now, have you got any thoughts
on a caterer?
63
00:03:09,369 --> 00:03:13,373
Well, Cornell Evans.
I mean, he's pricey, but he's the best.
64
00:03:13,582 --> 00:03:15,417
- Oh, let's book him.
- Oh, marvellous!
65
00:03:15,584 --> 00:03:18,003
Oh, I'm sorry, Dad,
I didn't know you were on the line.
66
00:03:18,211 --> 00:03:19,880
- Oh, my.
- My goodness.
67
00:03:20,046 --> 00:03:22,674
Well, we're off to the ball.
Don't wait up for us.
68
00:03:22,883 --> 00:03:24,301
Oh, Daphne, wait, wait, wait.
69
00:03:24,467 --> 00:03:26,761
There's something on the back
of your dress.
70
00:03:26,928 --> 00:03:29,472
Oh, my God!
It looks like bleach or something.
71
00:03:29,806 --> 00:03:31,349
The dry cleaner must have done it.
72
00:03:31,558 --> 00:03:33,977
- I saw it. It's nothing.
- You saw it?
73
00:03:34,185 --> 00:03:36,938
- Don't worry. It's hardly noticeable.
- Dr. Crane noticed it.
74
00:03:37,147 --> 00:03:39,524
- Because he's always looking at your...
- Roz.
75
00:03:41,234 --> 00:03:43,570
- Well, I can't go now.
- Why not?
76
00:03:43,737 --> 00:03:45,739
This is the only formal dress I've got.
77
00:03:45,905 --> 00:03:48,074
Wait. I've got the rest
of my dry cleaning in the car.
78
00:03:48,241 --> 00:03:50,577
I bet I have something you can wear.
I'll be right back.
79
00:03:50,785 --> 00:03:55,081
You know, Daphne, I bet
I would be able to get that out for you.
80
00:03:55,248 --> 00:03:57,709
No, the cleaner spoiled it.
He can damn well fix it.
81
00:03:57,876 --> 00:04:00,378
- Well, it would probably just take...
- Niles.
82
00:04:00,587 --> 00:04:03,131
Yes, may I speak to Cornell, please?
Yes, of course, I'll hold.
83
00:04:03,298 --> 00:04:05,800
I mean it. If I just had a toothbrush
and a jeweller's loupe...
84
00:04:05,967 --> 00:04:07,260
Niles!
85
00:04:11,514 --> 00:04:13,766
How long is he gonna keep me
on hold?
86
00:04:14,142 --> 00:04:17,395
Oh, hey, Roz,
did you find any kind of thing that...?
87
00:04:17,603 --> 00:04:19,397
Can't talk right now.
88
00:04:20,481 --> 00:04:22,442
Hello, Cornell?
Yes, Frasier Crane here.
89
00:04:22,608 --> 00:04:25,862
Listen, I'm hoping
that you're not booked on the 19th.
90
00:04:26,028 --> 00:04:27,822
Oh, Lord.
91
00:04:27,989 --> 00:04:29,574
Yes, of course, I understand.
92
00:04:29,782 --> 00:04:33,119
Yeah, same to you.
All right. Bye-bye.
93
00:04:33,286 --> 00:04:34,704
Damn. Wouldn't you know it?
94
00:04:34,871 --> 00:04:37,915
The only date he's got free is the 11th.
Damn those concert tickets.
95
00:04:38,124 --> 00:04:41,252
Oh, you know who might be available?
Tyler Wilkins.
96
00:04:41,460 --> 00:04:44,338
- Doesn't he work with Cornell?
- Oh, dear God, no. Mortal enemies.
97
00:04:44,505 --> 00:04:47,341
They were catering a seafood banquet
when Cornell flew into a rage
98
00:04:47,508 --> 00:04:50,428
because Tyler had ordered mahi-mahi
instead of ahi.
99
00:04:51,804 --> 00:04:53,806
Of course,
Tyler blamed it on Cornell's stutter,
100
00:04:53,973 --> 00:04:55,641
and they haven't spoken since.
101
00:04:58,185 --> 00:04:59,353
Tyler? Niles Crane.
102
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,273
Yes, I was wondering
if you were available on the 19th.
103
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:06,068
Wonderful. Dinner for ten.
104
00:05:06,235 --> 00:05:08,737
That's great. I'll call you later on,
we'll discuss the menu.
105
00:05:08,904 --> 00:05:09,989
Thanks. Bye-bye.
106
00:05:10,156 --> 00:05:12,158
That is wonderful. All right.
107
00:05:12,366 --> 00:05:17,830
We've got you, me,
and the fabulous Ashbys.
108
00:05:17,997 --> 00:05:20,165
That leaves six chairs to fill.
109
00:05:20,374 --> 00:05:22,543
We have to have the Berkins.
That's a no-brainer.
110
00:05:22,710 --> 00:05:25,629
Technically, that's two no-brainers.
Forget the Berkins.
111
00:05:25,796 --> 00:05:27,131
- Who else?
- Well, wait a minute.
112
00:05:27,298 --> 00:05:29,675
You can't just steamroll over me.
I want the Berkins.
113
00:05:29,842 --> 00:05:31,885
- Well, I don't.
- Well, I do.
114
00:05:32,302 --> 00:05:34,179
All right, all right.
115
00:05:34,346 --> 00:05:38,809
We'll each have the right to blackball,
let's say, three guests.
116
00:05:38,976 --> 00:05:40,561
That way we'll each get an equal voice.
117
00:05:40,727 --> 00:05:43,063
- That's fair enough.
- All right. There's three for you.
118
00:05:43,230 --> 00:05:44,857
And three for me.
119
00:05:45,023 --> 00:05:50,362
And just to get the blackball rolling.
Bye-bye, Berkins.
120
00:05:50,737 --> 00:05:52,573
All right. What about John
and Carol Peterson?
121
00:05:52,739 --> 00:05:57,077
- Everyone loves them.
- Not everyone. Blackball!
122
00:05:58,078 --> 00:05:59,621
- Why?
- No, no, no.
123
00:05:59,788 --> 00:06:02,416
We never question the blackball.
We just bow to its will.
124
00:06:03,875 --> 00:06:06,211
Fine. Nina and Arch Duncan.
125
00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:09,798
The drunken Duncans?
Have you lost your...?
126
00:06:10,507 --> 00:06:11,925
Wait a minute.
127
00:06:13,593 --> 00:06:15,929
You loathe the Duncans.
You want me to waste a blackball.
128
00:06:16,138 --> 00:06:19,474
- That's insane. I adore the Duncans.
- Really?
129
00:06:19,933 --> 00:06:22,853
Well, then perhaps
I've misjudged them.
130
00:06:23,019 --> 00:06:25,313
Very well, Niles. The Duncans it is.
131
00:06:26,523 --> 00:06:29,025
- Nina and Arch...
- Oh, stop it. They're hideous.
132
00:06:29,192 --> 00:06:30,735
Blackball.
133
00:06:34,614 --> 00:06:37,033
- What about the Wolperts?
- Oh, I like the Wolperts.
134
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,785
Finally. Oh, the Gordons?
135
00:06:38,994 --> 00:06:40,787
I love the Gordons.
Now we're rolling.
136
00:06:40,996 --> 00:06:44,374
- How about the DeFalcos?
- Blackball. She is a twit.
137
00:06:44,541 --> 00:06:47,669
- How about the Whitneys?
- Oh, blackball. He's a dolt.
138
00:06:48,002 --> 00:06:49,671
- Cromwells?
- Blackball.
139
00:06:49,838 --> 00:06:51,756
Look, if you're going to...
140
00:06:54,717 --> 00:06:57,137
Wait a minute.
You're out of blackball...
141
00:06:57,303 --> 00:06:59,681
This is a dried-up old fig.
142
00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:02,183
So is Missy Cromwell.
I don't want her at my party.
143
00:07:02,350 --> 00:07:04,352
I'm sorry. Rules are rules.
The Cromwells are in.
144
00:07:04,519 --> 00:07:07,105
The guest list is complete.
Now, let's start calling everyone.
145
00:07:07,272 --> 00:07:10,858
Yes, beginning with
our guests of honour, the Ashbys.
146
00:07:11,067 --> 00:07:13,361
- Oh, yes.
- All right, here.
147
00:07:14,362 --> 00:07:16,698
Hello, Hollis. Frasier Crane calling.
148
00:07:16,864 --> 00:07:21,119
Listen, Niles and I are planning
on having a dinner party on the 19th...
149
00:07:22,161 --> 00:07:23,871
They're leaving for Africa
on the 19th.
150
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:25,456
Oh, gee, that's a shame.
151
00:07:25,623 --> 00:07:27,834
We were sort of building the evening
around you.
152
00:07:29,377 --> 00:07:30,461
They've got the 11th free.
153
00:07:30,670 --> 00:07:33,631
- No good. We've got that concert.
- I didn't ask you to that.
154
00:07:34,882 --> 00:07:36,551
The 11th should be just fine.
155
00:07:36,759 --> 00:07:38,261
Oh, no, no, they've got a conflict.
156
00:07:39,053 --> 00:07:41,848
Oh, well, that's no problem.
They were our very next call.
157
00:07:42,056 --> 00:07:45,768
We absolutely adore the Duncans.
All right, see you then.
158
00:07:45,977 --> 00:07:47,019
Not the drunken Duncans.
159
00:07:47,186 --> 00:07:50,439
Sorry, they have plans with the Ashbys
on the 11th so they're invited too.
160
00:07:50,648 --> 00:07:52,066
Fine. I want my blackball back.
161
00:07:52,275 --> 00:07:55,569
- The blackball, once dropped, can't...
- Oh, shut up.
162
00:07:57,279 --> 00:07:58,614
Anyway, the Ashbys are worth it.
163
00:07:58,781 --> 00:08:00,783
You know what?
And there's an additional plus.
164
00:08:00,950 --> 00:08:03,786
Since we're changing our plans
for the 11th, Cornell can cater.
165
00:08:03,953 --> 00:08:05,079
Quick. You call Cornell.
166
00:08:05,246 --> 00:08:07,164
I'll call Tyler
and tell him we're cancelling.
167
00:08:09,291 --> 00:08:11,460
Tyler? It's Niles Crane again.
Yes, listen,
168
00:08:11,627 --> 00:08:14,088
it turns out we're not gonna need you
on the 19th after all.
169
00:08:14,296 --> 00:08:16,966
- Yes, Cornell, please.
- No, we're not going to someone else.
170
00:08:17,132 --> 00:08:19,260
Cornell? What gave you that idea?
171
00:08:19,426 --> 00:08:21,512
Cornell, please. Frasier Crane again.
Thank you.
172
00:08:21,679 --> 00:08:23,764
Listen,
we've changed our party plans,
173
00:08:23,931 --> 00:08:26,475
and it turns out
that we'd rather have it on the 11th.
174
00:08:26,684 --> 00:08:30,729
We're cancelling the party entirely.
No, no, there's no reason to be upset...
175
00:08:35,818 --> 00:08:37,069
Which is which?
176
00:08:38,278 --> 00:08:40,614
This one's mine. This one's mine.
I can smell my cologne.
177
00:08:41,532 --> 00:08:43,867
- Hello, Cornell.
- Tyler, of course, you're who we want.
178
00:08:44,076 --> 00:08:46,995
Yes, as I was saying,
we were just about to change the...
179
00:08:49,623 --> 00:08:51,542
- Hello, Tyler...
- Cornell.
180
00:08:51,708 --> 00:08:54,294
- You're gonna laugh when you hear...
- It's the funniest thing...
181
00:08:54,461 --> 00:08:56,338
- Hello?
- Hello?
182
00:08:58,173 --> 00:08:59,841
Well, thanks
to your keen sense of smell,
183
00:09:00,008 --> 00:09:01,885
we've lost both caterers.
184
00:09:02,094 --> 00:09:03,887
I suppose
we can always get Kiki Price.
185
00:09:04,096 --> 00:09:07,140
- Is she still in business?
- Yeah, they dropped the charges.
186
00:09:07,516 --> 00:09:09,601
I'll call her after I get in touch
with the Duncans.
187
00:09:09,768 --> 00:09:12,312
My God, I hope I can catch them
before happy hour.
188
00:09:15,357 --> 00:09:17,526
Hello, Nina? Too late.
189
00:09:18,777 --> 00:09:19,861
It's Frasier Crane calling.
190
00:09:20,028 --> 00:09:23,073
Niles and I are having the Ashbys over
and a few other people for a dinner,
191
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:26,409
and we were hoping
that you could join us on the 11th.
192
00:09:26,618 --> 00:09:28,370
Don't cry, Nina, please.
193
00:09:28,954 --> 00:09:31,206
Yeah, well,
I've always loved you too.
194
00:09:32,249 --> 00:09:34,584
What? Joaquim?
195
00:09:34,751 --> 00:09:36,169
Joaquim is coming in
from Argentina.
196
00:09:36,336 --> 00:09:39,047
- You'd like him to join us. Well...
- Joaquim?
197
00:09:39,256 --> 00:09:42,008
Joaquim Juarez. He's the conductor
of the Buenos Aires Philharmonic.
198
00:09:42,175 --> 00:09:44,261
Right, they were down there.
They must have met him.
199
00:09:44,427 --> 00:09:46,888
We would love
to have Joaquim join us.
200
00:09:47,097 --> 00:09:48,348
Oh, that's splendid.
201
00:09:48,556 --> 00:09:51,518
All right, then we'll just see you
on the 11th. The 11th.
202
00:09:52,769 --> 00:09:54,854
Take two swizzle sticks,
stand them up side-by-side.
203
00:09:55,021 --> 00:09:56,689
Eleven. That's right. Bye-bye.
204
00:09:56,898 --> 00:10:00,485
- We've got Joaquim!
- Well, don't cry for me, Arch and Nina.
205
00:10:02,445 --> 00:10:05,490
All right, let's see.
We've got the Duncans and Joaquim.
206
00:10:05,657 --> 00:10:08,409
And that means we're going to have
to cut out two couples.
207
00:10:08,576 --> 00:10:11,246
All right, well, the Cromwells and...
208
00:10:11,412 --> 00:10:12,789
- The Gordons.
- The Gordons.
209
00:10:12,956 --> 00:10:15,708
All right, that leaves us short by one.
210
00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:17,585
We're going to need a single female.
211
00:10:18,127 --> 00:10:19,504
Oh, Roz, perfect timing.
212
00:10:19,671 --> 00:10:21,547
- What's up?
- We're having a dinner party.
213
00:10:21,756 --> 00:10:23,800
We need an interesting
single woman.
214
00:10:23,967 --> 00:10:25,677
Do you know anybody?
We're desperate.
215
00:10:27,428 --> 00:10:28,888
Excuse me?
216
00:10:29,097 --> 00:10:32,850
Naturally, we thought of you first, Roz,
but this isn't really your kind of crowd.
217
00:10:33,059 --> 00:10:35,269
What, sophisticated? Cultured?
218
00:10:35,436 --> 00:10:38,272
Is that why you think I won't fit in
with your snooty A-list friends?
219
00:10:38,439 --> 00:10:40,274
- I'm not genteel enough?
- Oh, now, Roz...
220
00:10:40,441 --> 00:10:41,609
Now, Roz, my ass.
221
00:10:41,776 --> 00:10:45,446
I'm just as refined as you are.
Shut up, Niles.
222
00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,658
Roz, please.
223
00:10:48,824 --> 00:10:52,620
Well, I hope you're satisfied.
I got everyone to change.
224
00:10:52,787 --> 00:10:54,747
We're gonna have it on the 11th.
225
00:10:56,958 --> 00:10:59,502
- The 11th?
- Yeah, and it wasn't easy either.
226
00:10:59,669 --> 00:11:02,922
Mel had to reschedule
his polyp surgery.
227
00:11:03,881 --> 00:11:06,509
Well, Dad,
you are really gonna laugh at this.
228
00:11:06,676 --> 00:11:09,428
Frasier and I rescheduled
our dinner party for the 11th.
229
00:11:09,637 --> 00:11:11,138
I'm not changing it back. I'm not.
230
00:11:11,305 --> 00:11:15,184
And, Dad, I would never even consider
asking you to do such a thing.
231
00:11:15,351 --> 00:11:18,229
Tell you what, there's no reason
why we can't hold both parties
232
00:11:18,395 --> 00:11:19,438
simultaneously.
233
00:11:19,605 --> 00:11:21,148
The apartment
is certainly big enough.
234
00:11:21,816 --> 00:11:24,568
I know what you're trying to do,
and it won't work.
235
00:11:24,777 --> 00:11:29,365
What, Dad? I'm serious.
No, no, we can share the buffet table.
236
00:11:29,573 --> 00:11:33,118
We can even have the harpist learn
Bobby Darin tunes for your crowd.
237
00:11:33,494 --> 00:11:34,787
I can stand it if you can.
238
00:11:34,954 --> 00:11:37,164
Of course, we will have
to dim the lights at one point.
239
00:11:37,331 --> 00:11:39,083
You see,
Nina Duncan always insists
240
00:11:39,249 --> 00:11:41,502
on sharing her extensive collection
of slides
241
00:11:41,669 --> 00:11:43,337
from the summer
she danced "Agamemnon"
242
00:11:43,504 --> 00:11:45,714
at Jacob's Pillow.
243
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,804
All right! I'll change it.
244
00:11:54,389 --> 00:11:55,474
Call Kiki and the Wolperts.
245
00:11:55,641 --> 00:11:57,184
- I'll talk to Roz.
- I'm on it.
246
00:11:57,392 --> 00:11:59,353
Come on, just pick something.
247
00:11:59,561 --> 00:12:01,730
Pick what?
This one isn't dressy enough.
248
00:12:01,897 --> 00:12:03,565
This one doesn't fit, and this one...
249
00:12:03,732 --> 00:12:06,985
Well, it's hardly appropriate
for a posh cocktail reception.
250
00:12:07,569 --> 00:12:10,447
Excuse me. Roz, listen,
I just came to apologise.
251
00:12:10,614 --> 00:12:12,532
- Whatever.
- What happened?
252
00:12:12,741 --> 00:12:15,118
He said I wasn't classy enough
to come to his dinner party.
253
00:12:15,285 --> 00:12:17,663
- Roz, you know I didn't mean that.
- Oh, get in line.
254
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,457
I've lived here for six years.
Only time I'm asked to that table
255
00:12:20,624 --> 00:12:22,667
is when I'm holding
a freaking serving spoon.
256
00:12:23,919 --> 00:12:26,838
It's just a silly dinner party.
What's everybody getting upset about?
257
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:30,592
Oh, let's just go. I suppose this colour
might look nice on me after all.
258
00:12:30,759 --> 00:12:33,094
Excuse me. I left messages for Kiki
and the Wolperts.
259
00:12:33,261 --> 00:12:35,847
Could you two please leave
so Daphne can change?
260
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,891
Daphne, you're not going out
in that, are you?
261
00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:39,976
That's it. I'm staying home.
262
00:12:40,185 --> 00:12:43,188
No, just try it. We can accessorise it.
263
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:45,232
With what?
A lamppost and a public defender?
264
00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:53,406
Good Lord,
was that the answering machine?
265
00:12:54,366 --> 00:12:58,411
Hi, it's Allison Wolpert and yes,
count us in for the 11th.
266
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:00,497
Looking forward to it. Bye.
267
00:13:00,663 --> 00:13:02,582
That's wonderful.
I so enjoy the Wolperts.
268
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:04,042
- Yes.
- Who was that?
269
00:13:04,375 --> 00:13:07,712
We just got invited to a dinner party
at Dr. Crane's.
270
00:13:07,879 --> 00:13:10,173
- Which Dr. Crane?
- Does it matter?
271
00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:12,217
You get the one,
you get that other one.
272
00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:16,137
Personally, I think
the whole arrangement is a little...
273
00:13:16,304 --> 00:13:20,433
- Is that thing off the hook?
- What? Oh, my God.
274
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,654
What do you suppose
she meant by that?
275
00:13:33,363 --> 00:13:37,283
Obviously, she thinks
we're always together,
276
00:13:37,742 --> 00:13:41,287
that we're some sort of couple.
277
00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:47,043
That's ridiculous.
We spend lots of time apart.
278
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,713
Besides, who is she to talk?
Look at her and Harry.
279
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,716
- They go everywhere together.
- They're married, Niles.
280
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:59,138
Still, it's no reason for her
to call us odd.
281
00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:01,515
Well, wait.
She never called us odd. Listen.
282
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:07,772
Does it matter? You get the one,
you get that other one.
283
00:14:07,938 --> 00:14:11,150
Personally, I think
the whole arrangement is a little...
284
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:13,152
- Is that thing off the hook?
- See?
285
00:14:13,361 --> 00:14:16,155
She never said odd.
We're getting upset over nothing.
286
00:14:16,363 --> 00:14:17,782
Nothing?
287
00:14:17,948 --> 00:14:20,576
Is there a good end
to that sentence?
288
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:24,872
"Personally, I think the whole
arrangement is a little" what?
289
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:26,957
Charming?
290
00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:30,169
Now, you really... Stop overreacting.
291
00:14:30,544 --> 00:14:32,796
Well, perhaps she has a point.
Ever since your divorce,
292
00:14:32,963 --> 00:14:34,840
you've become more
and more attached to me.
293
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:36,759
Maybe that's why she said
what she said.
294
00:14:37,468 --> 00:14:41,096
- What?
- You get Frasier, you get that Niles.
295
00:14:41,597 --> 00:14:42,765
She didn't say that.
296
00:14:42,931 --> 00:14:45,017
She said, "You get the one,
you get that other one."
297
00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:47,519
What makes you think you're the one
and I'm the other one?
298
00:14:47,728 --> 00:14:50,898
Because I am the one giving the party,
and you are that other one!
299
00:14:51,106 --> 00:14:53,817
I'm the one that invited her,
so that makes you that other one.
300
00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:55,402
- That's ridiculous!
- It's not!
301
00:14:55,569 --> 00:14:58,071
- Absolutely no foundation of truth...!
- No, I knew...!
302
00:14:58,238 --> 00:15:01,158
All right, wait, wait. This is absurd.
Why don't we just call Allison up,
303
00:15:01,325 --> 00:15:03,202
ask her what she thinks
is so strange about us?
304
00:15:03,368 --> 00:15:04,703
We can both get on an extension.
305
00:15:04,870 --> 00:15:06,997
Better yet, we both get on a bicycle
built for two,
306
00:15:07,164 --> 00:15:10,334
ride over there ourselves, and ask her
what's so strange about us?
307
00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:16,757
Hello?
308
00:15:16,965 --> 00:15:18,842
Yes, hello, Nina.
309
00:15:19,635 --> 00:15:21,053
Right. What can I do for you?
310
00:15:21,386 --> 00:15:23,722
No, no, dear, you called me.
311
00:15:25,349 --> 00:15:27,976
Oh, yes,
Joaquim can only eat certain foods.
312
00:15:28,143 --> 00:15:30,145
Yes, of course,
we'll be glad to accommodate him.
313
00:15:30,312 --> 00:15:31,730
How exotic.
314
00:15:32,689 --> 00:15:33,774
Let's see. All right.
315
00:15:34,441 --> 00:15:37,527
Rice. Beans.
316
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,613
Jerked beef.
317
00:15:42,699 --> 00:15:44,868
Any particular reason?
318
00:15:45,035 --> 00:15:46,786
I see.
319
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:52,375
Interesting. Okay. Bye.
320
00:15:53,168 --> 00:15:56,129
Why is Joaquim
on such a strict diet?
321
00:15:57,589 --> 00:16:00,550
Because the Joaquim
they're bringing to dinner...
322
00:16:01,343 --> 00:16:03,845
...is their foster child...
323
00:16:09,934 --> 00:16:12,979
...from a tiny village on the Pampas.
324
00:16:13,938 --> 00:16:15,315
He speaks no English,
325
00:16:15,482 --> 00:16:18,651
and he gets nauseated
when he eats American food.
326
00:16:21,571 --> 00:16:24,365
So he's not the conductor
of the Buenos Aires Philharmonic?
327
00:16:24,574 --> 00:16:26,576
Oh, you are so that other one!
328
00:16:27,827 --> 00:16:28,870
All right, fine.
329
00:16:29,078 --> 00:16:31,623
Where are we gonna find someone
to babysit a 9-year-old child?
330
00:16:31,789 --> 00:16:36,127
Quit your blubbering
and just pick something, damn it!
331
00:16:36,836 --> 00:16:37,879
Roz?
332
00:16:38,046 --> 00:16:39,255
- Now what?
- You were right.
333
00:16:39,422 --> 00:16:41,966
You know, you would be
a welcome addition to any party.
334
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,634
Oh, you don't have to say that.
335
00:16:43,843 --> 00:16:47,472
No, no, no, honestly, Niles and I
want you to join us for dinner.
336
00:16:47,847 --> 00:16:48,890
- You mean it?
- Yes.
337
00:16:49,056 --> 00:16:52,810
We're having someone who might
make a dinner companion for you.
338
00:16:53,019 --> 00:16:55,146
He's not some stuffy old coot, is he?
339
00:16:55,354 --> 00:16:57,565
- No, no. Young.
- No. Yes, very young.
340
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,735
Okay, thanks.
341
00:17:01,068 --> 00:17:03,946
- All right, we've got our ten.
- All right, let's see.
342
00:17:04,113 --> 00:17:06,991
Not exactly my wish list,
but at least we've got the Ashbys.
343
00:17:07,158 --> 00:17:09,535
Yes, and Allison Wolpert
can say what she wants.
344
00:17:09,702 --> 00:17:11,537
Why should we care
what anybody else thinks?
345
00:17:11,704 --> 00:17:12,830
- Am I right?
- Absolutely.
346
00:17:12,997 --> 00:17:15,458
Dad, do you think we're odd?
347
00:17:16,125 --> 00:17:20,129
No, you're not odd.
You're just special.
348
00:17:22,757 --> 00:17:24,592
Your mother told me that
when you were kids,
349
00:17:24,759 --> 00:17:26,469
and I still believe it.
350
00:17:27,344 --> 00:17:30,764
Yes, but do you think
we spend too much time together?
351
00:17:31,265 --> 00:17:32,600
What kind of questions are these?
352
00:17:32,766 --> 00:17:35,186
You're close.
Lots of brothers are close.
353
00:17:35,394 --> 00:17:37,104
Yes, I suppose
you're right about that.
354
00:17:37,271 --> 00:17:39,857
Yes, I mean, the Gershwins,
the Wright Brothers.
355
00:17:40,024 --> 00:17:41,775
I told you we're getting upset
over nothing.
356
00:17:41,942 --> 00:17:43,986
Then there were
the Collyer brothers.
357
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,780
- The Collyer brothers?
- Oh, yeah, a couple of nutsos,
358
00:17:46,947 --> 00:17:49,199
shared an apartment in New York
their whole lives.
359
00:17:49,408 --> 00:17:52,036
They even built a maze
out of newspapers in there
360
00:17:52,202 --> 00:17:54,038
that only they knew
how to get through.
361
00:17:54,246 --> 00:17:55,831
Then it collapsed on one of them,
362
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,167
and the other one just sat there
with the dead body
363
00:17:58,333 --> 00:18:01,044
until the neighbours complained
about the smell.
364
00:18:01,462 --> 00:18:03,464
Pretty crazy story, huh?
365
00:18:05,841 --> 00:18:08,635
You recycle, right, Niles?
366
00:18:11,138 --> 00:18:12,514
You know,
367
00:18:12,723 --> 00:18:16,476
maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea
if we went our own ways a bit more.
368
00:18:16,643 --> 00:18:21,732
Well, it's possible we have grown
a tad dependent on one another.
369
00:18:22,441 --> 00:18:24,693
Perhaps this is just the warning
we need.
370
00:18:24,860 --> 00:18:26,862
Today, we're planning a dinner party.
371
00:18:27,029 --> 00:18:28,905
Tomorrow,
we're wearing matching pyjamas
372
00:18:29,072 --> 00:18:31,366
and washing each other's hair.
373
00:18:33,243 --> 00:18:35,954
Let's face it, Niles,
we are one stone's throw away
374
00:18:36,121 --> 00:18:38,540
from becoming
the neighbourhood kooks,
375
00:18:38,749 --> 00:18:42,252
right down to the local children
ringing our doorbell and running away.
376
00:18:42,461 --> 00:18:45,297
Now, Frasier, you are letting
your imagination get the better of you.
377
00:18:45,464 --> 00:18:49,259
Come on,
let's go make a seating chart.
378
00:18:49,426 --> 00:18:51,928
You always know
how to cheer me up.
379
00:18:53,179 --> 00:18:55,348
- Oh, hello, Daphne.
- Daphne...
380
00:18:55,515 --> 00:18:56,600
Isn't that Roz's dress?
381
00:18:56,808 --> 00:18:59,185
Yes, it was really the only thing
that looked good on me.
382
00:18:59,352 --> 00:19:01,104
Come on, Roz,
we don't want to be late.
383
00:19:04,983 --> 00:19:06,526
Doesn't she look beautiful?
384
00:19:06,735 --> 00:19:09,237
Oh, shove it, Daphne.
I know you think I look like a hooker.
385
00:19:09,404 --> 00:19:12,991
No! No, Roz, I said
it made me look like a hooker.
386
00:19:13,158 --> 00:19:16,161
On you, it... Well, it works.
387
00:19:20,123 --> 00:19:21,791
Hello?
388
00:19:22,167 --> 00:19:23,918
Yes, yes.
389
00:19:24,085 --> 00:19:28,298
Oh, Lord, well, I'm so sorry
you can't make it.
390
00:19:28,464 --> 00:19:32,594
No, no, that's all right.
Yes, some other time. Goodbye.
391
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:34,512
Oh, please, not the Ashbys.
392
00:19:35,805 --> 00:19:37,890
Family emergency.
393
00:19:38,766 --> 00:19:40,685
Apparently, so urgent
they didn't even have time
394
00:19:40,852 --> 00:19:43,021
to think up a plausible excuse.
395
00:19:43,646 --> 00:19:47,650
- So where does that leave us?
- Well, let's see.
396
00:19:49,485 --> 00:19:52,613
We have a third-rate caterer
with a record,
397
00:19:52,905 --> 00:19:54,323
two lushes,
398
00:19:54,490 --> 00:19:58,077
a couple
who think we're both nutcases,
399
00:19:58,286 --> 00:20:01,664
an Argentine wild child and Roz.
400
00:20:02,707 --> 00:20:05,960
Dinner is served.
401
00:20:07,587 --> 00:20:09,005
I still have one blackball left.
402
00:20:09,213 --> 00:20:10,756
I don't think
it'll make any difference.
403
00:20:10,923 --> 00:20:12,466
It will to me. I'm using it on myself.
404
00:20:12,633 --> 00:20:13,801
- No.
- Blackball!
405
00:20:14,010 --> 00:20:16,012
No, no, you cannot self-blackball.
406
00:20:16,178 --> 00:20:18,681
You're gonna go to that party
or you'll go over my dead body.
407
00:20:18,848 --> 00:20:19,974
You just give me that now!
408
00:20:24,020 --> 00:20:28,357
God, we are the Collyer brothers.
409
00:20:31,902 --> 00:20:36,407
You know,
why don't we just face the inevitable?
410
00:20:36,574 --> 00:20:39,368
Let's just cancel
the whole damn thing.
411
00:20:39,535 --> 00:20:42,079
Of course, cancelling a party
20 minutes later,
412
00:20:42,246 --> 00:20:44,415
people will think it's strange.
413
00:20:44,582 --> 00:20:46,333
Frankly, I'm sick and tired
of giving a damn
414
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:47,918
about what other people think.
415
00:20:48,085 --> 00:20:51,547
Most of them are one marble away
from not being here in the first place.
416
00:20:52,172 --> 00:20:53,424
You're right.
417
00:20:53,590 --> 00:20:56,677
So we spend a lot of time together.
So what?
418
00:20:56,844 --> 00:20:58,178
I enjoy it.
419
00:20:58,971 --> 00:21:01,181
So do I, Niles.
420
00:21:01,765 --> 00:21:03,934
You know, we can make
those calls tomorrow and cancel.
421
00:21:04,101 --> 00:21:05,269
I'm famished.
422
00:21:05,477 --> 00:21:08,647
Why don't we just head over
to Campagne for dinner? My treat.
423
00:21:08,814 --> 00:21:09,940
You're on.
424
00:21:10,149 --> 00:21:12,818
Unless you think it's too odd
to have dinner together.
425
00:21:14,611 --> 00:21:16,280
I don't think
we're in any danger of that.
426
00:21:16,446 --> 00:21:17,948
If our relationship became truly odd,
427
00:21:18,115 --> 00:21:21,451
I think we're both intelligent enough
to recognise the signs.
428
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:33,922
- I think I'll pass on dinner.
- Okay, good night.
429
00:21:34,089 --> 00:21:35,632
- I'll see you soon.
- Good night.
35203
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