All language subtitles for S01E04 Hooray For Homicide

You are changing my simple little mystery
into something unforgivably crass.

No, I'm turning your dull, little book
into an all-time hit picture.

What do I know about the picture?
It's a high school horror film
with sexy dances.

You cut out every line that required
acting skills, so you could get
your little playmate on the screen.

I know. Wanna go
skinny-dipping in the ocean?

- I used to live at the beach house.
- Do you have any questions
about the scene?

- We make love.
- This is a murder investigation.

Norman! Stop that man!
Stop him!

[Seagulls Screeching]

[Chair Creaking]

I've decided to go back to
the bayonet. It's a lot cleaner.

[Ethan]
How's that?
Oh, I was just talking to myself. Nothing.

[Clattering]

Ethan. Ethan!
I'm sorry. I'm trying to write.

That's all right.
You're not disturbing me.

Well, I'm glad to hear it.
[Chuckles]

I don't suppose there's
a quieter way of doing it?

No way that I know of.

[Clattering]

[Phone Ringing]
Oh.

Hello. Hello, Agnes.

How nice to hear from you.
[Clattering Continues]

Agnes, I'm sorry. I can't talk right now.
I am in the middle of a crucial chapter.

[Clattering]
Agnes, you're gonna have to
speak up.

Well, Ethan is fixing the drain.
He's under the sink. What?

Really? They're talking about
one of my books?

Well, maybe I could watch
for a couple of seconds.

Thanks so much
for calling me, Agnes.
I'll call you right back.

[Man]
Jerry Lydecker.

Jerry, why do we call you
Hollywood's most controversial producer?

Well, because you hate my pictures.
The critics hate my pictures.

Everybody hates my pictures,
except the public.

[Man]
And today you started shooting
a new motion picture.

Yes. J.B. Fletcher's
The Corpse Danced at Midnight.

Now the Fletcher book
was a big success.

Do you anticipate
another box-office hit?

It's got everything
today's young moviegoers want.
Music, sex and violence.

Too much violence perhaps?
What's too much?

I'm referring to the scene where
the psychotic killer uses a flamethrower
on a group of break-dancers.

That's not my book.
I didn't write that.
[Scoffs]

Looks like that Mr. Lydecker
is putting some of his own ideas
into the movie.

Well, it's high time
they heard some of my ideas.

Calling the TV station?
My publisher.

I'm gonna put a stop to this nonsense
even if I have to fly out to Hollywood.

What do I know about the picture?

Well, it's guaranteed box office magic,
that's all.

[Chuckles]
It's a combination of Halloween,
Porky's and Flashdance.

You can't be serious.

[Laughs]
Oh, yeah. You got yourself
a hot property here, Mrs. Fletcher.

You oughta follow it up real quick.
Have you written any other books like this?

I've never written one book like that.

Look, I don't know what
my publisher told you, Mr. Strindberg,

but I didn't come out here
to take advantage of
an intolerable situation.

Are you saying you don't want
a piece of the action?

I only want to
determine my legal rights...

to prevent that movie producer
from debasing my novel.

- I was told that you could help me.
- Mrs. Fletcher, I make deals.

And, apparently,
you don't want a deal.
So what can I do?

Look, I'll tell ya.
Uh, I'll assign someone from my staff
to dig out your contract and we'll be in touch.

When?
Well, don't worry about it.
Relax. Enjoy yourself.

Is this your first trip to L.A.
Oh, yes. But I wanna get
this thing settled.

Well, you're gonna love it.
You should go to Disneyland.
Farmer's Market.

Take a Hollywood tour.
La Brea Tar Pits. Have a ball.

I don't have time to...
Mrs. Fletcher, it has been
great meeting you.

Let's have lunch sometime
before you fly back east, okay?

Thank you for you trouble,
Mr. Strindberg.
Sure.

I am sorry to be a pest about this,

but I am the author of the book
that is supposedly the basis of
Mr. Lydecker's movie.

Look, I don't care if
you�re Jackie Collins.
You can't get in without a pass.

Hold it. Hold it, Paddy.
I'll vouch for Mrs. Fletcher.

Put her down as my guest.
Sure thing,
Miss Quintessa.

Hop in.
That is so nice of you.
Thank you.

Oh, my goodness.
I was beginning to give up hope
of ever getting inside.

I'm Marta Quintessa.
I'm the costume designer for
The Corpse Danced at Midnight.

Okay. Great. Great.
Get lost.

You lied to me, baby.

Jerry...
I checked with your drama coach.

You canceled those extra sessions.

I meant to tell you.
Yeah, sure you did.

I just didn't want you
to be mad at me.
[Exhales]

You're still lying. Eve, I know
you're seeing some guy.

No.

I don't wanna know who he is...
just stop.

Oh, Jerry...
Stop. Do you hear me?

You're doing okay, Eve.
A couple of nice pictures.

But you're not there yet.

When this picture's released,
you're gonna be a big star.

There won't be any room
in your life for anybody else.

[Man]
Miss Crystal.
I'm your future, Eve.

Miss Crystal?
Remember that.

- We're ready for rehearsal, Miss Crystal.
- She'll be right out.

Okay, sure.
Whenever she's ready, Mr. Lydecker.

I loved your book, Mrs. Fletcher,
which is more than I can say
for the screenplay.

Jerry and the writer did
a wonderful job of trashing your story.

Well, I must confess, I haven't read it.
No one sent me a copy.

Oh, well, I've got an extra one here.
Why don't you take this?

How nice of you.

I hope you have a strong heart, darling,
and an even stronger stomach.
[Both Laugh]

Jerry. Jerry.
How come you never
return my telephone calls?

Nothing personal.
I don't, uh, return anybody's calls.

That's a good line. I'll use it.
Listen, my contracts finally came through.

The points you promised me
for writing the screenplay under price...
they're not there. What happened?

Business Affairs.
Oh. Just a mistake, huh?

They said it was more than
you were worth.

Listen, that's my screenplay
you're shooting in there,
and, uh, what would you do without it?

Tell me about your Oscar nomination
when you were 25.
You know my credits.

Yeah, I know your credits.
Aging wunderkind. Burned out by
pills and booze before you were 30.

Look, I'm a recovering alcoholic.
I'm also a damn good writer,
and you know that too.

Yeah? That's why I had to do
a page one rewrite on your script.

You cut out every line that required
acting skills, so you could get
your little playmate on the screen.

Buddy boy, you just wrote your ticket
off this lot. I don't want you around.

You're bad news.

Yeah? Well, just remember.
The picture's not over
till the credits roll.

Well, darling, it's good to see you
looking so cheerful in the morning.

Did you sleep well, darling?
I was looking for you.

I have a wonderful surprise for you.

I would like you to meet Jessica Fletcher,
who is the original author.

Pleased to meet you.
Uh, Marta, we got a problem.

Uh, excuse me, Mr. Lydecker,
but at your convenience,

I'd like a few minutes of your time
to talk about our picture.
Maybe later, okay?

Well, could you be more specific?

I mean, after all, this is something
of great importance to me.

- My office, first thing
after lunch, all right?
- Thank you.

Eve's costumes.
The marching band sequence,
the glitzy number?

She hates it.
She says it makes her look like a kid.

Does she know
she's playing a teenager?

Sex it up.
Cut it lower in front,
higher on the sides.

Darling, if I cut it higher,
there'll be nothing left but a belt.

Jerry, I refuse to be
treated this way.

That girl knows nothing
about costumes.

All right. Quiet people, please.
For rehearsal.

[Man]
Jenny is earthy, sexy, sensual.
She's a wild female animal...

who will do anything
for the boy that she loves.

But-But, why does he
want to do it in a cemetery?
It's sick.

Yes, but remember,
his friends have been
horribly murdered.

He's defying death
with an act of joy.

Then he knows the killer's watching?
No, no, sweetheart.
It's symbolic.

He's in this cold, grim, dead place
with this wild, warm, compliant woman.

Sounds kinky.
No, no, no.
It's rich.

Hi.
How are you?

Hey, Ross, Ross.
Listen, I'm sorry I'm late.

Those stupid makeup people
wanted to put body makeup
all over me.

Can you believe it?
With my tan?
You look great, Scott.

Do you have any questions
about the scene?
We make love.

All right. Let's do it.
Go to number one positions.

This is a complete dress rehearsal.
I want everyone out of here.

Okay. Let's clear the set, please.
Let's clear everybody.
That means everybody.

[Buzzer Buzzes]
Everything works
for this one.

Everyone in position.
Shoot the rehearsal!

All right. Nobody stop in this.

We're gonna go
all the way in this one.

[Man]
Wait. Over here.

[Ross]
Everyone out of here, please.
Thank you. Thank you very much.

Sorry, you're gonna
have to leave, ma'am.
Why?

Well, we're clearing the set
for the nude scene.
Come on. Please.

Come on.
Nudity is necessary for the story.

It reveals Jenny's true character.

In my story, "Jenny" was "Johnny,"
the 10-year-old son of
a Presbyterian minister,

and he didn't take off his shirt
in 200 pages.

So I made a few changes.
Mr. Lydecker,
I don't want to carp,

but, quite honestly, you are
changing my simple little mystery
into something unforgivably crass.

No. I'm turning your dull, little book
into an all-time hit picture.

But, surely, that's why you bought it
was because it was a best seller.

Wrong.
[Chuckles]

I bought it for the title.
I see.

Well, it so happens that
my name and my reputation
are attached to that title.

Now, I don't want to seem disagreeable,
but I do believe that I have a right
to protect my interests.

Wrong again.
I bought your rights.

You can't stop me from
doing whatever I want to your story.

Just because the Almighty gave people
a taste for lobsters...

doesn't mean that he gave lobsters
a taste for being boiled alive.

I'm sorry, Mr. Lydecker, but I'm going to
do whatever I have to do...

to stop this picture being made.

[Knocking]
Yes?

Mrs. Fletcher?
Yes.

I'm from Carr, Strindberg
and Roth.

Which one are you?
[Laughs]
Actually, none of the above.

I'm Norman Lester,
a junior member with the firm.

Marty Strindberg sent me.
Oh. Come inside, please.

Thank you.
Sorry if I look disappointed,

but I was expecting
a pot of tea and room service
with some aspirin.

I saw Mr. Lydecker today, and l...

I'm afraid that I completely
lost my temper with him.

Yes, well...
[Chuckling]
He-he has that effect on people.

Well, uh, Mrs. Fletcher,
I searched our file,

and I finally found a copy
of the contract
with your original publisher.

Oh, good.
Suddenly, I feel so much better.

Uh... [Clears Throat]
"Whereas the party of the first par"...

uh, that's the publisher...
and uh, "does hereby"...

Excuse me, Norman.
Hmm?

May I read this, please?

Well, you may not be able to read it.
It's in legalese.

[Sighs]

[Tsks]
Oh, my.

- Are you all right?
- I can't believe that I signed this.

Mr. Lydecker was correct.

I signed away my right
to interfere with the film.

[Paper Crumples]
Oh, I feel so foolish.

Well, I guess there's nothing else to do
but to make amends.

- Make what?
- As painful as it sounds,

I owe Mr. Lydecker an apology.

Mr. Lydecker is not in.

He went to the screening room
and from there he was going
directly to the set.

I assume you mean Stage 3?

No, they wrapped early for the day.
I suggest you call Mr. Lydecker tomorrow.

What I must do cannot be done
on the telephone. Excuse me.

Mr. Lydecker?

Mr. Lydecker?

Excuse me, lady.
How come you're sneaking around
a deserted soundstage?

Oh, I was gonna get-get the police.
There's been a dreadful accident
here on the set.

Yeah, well,
why don't we just go have a look, huh?
Uh.

It's right over there. You see?
Right there behind the stone.

- Mr. Lydecker.
- I'm afraid he's dead.

I believe he was hit over the head
with that heavy metal urn.

- Security, we have a murder on Stage 3.
- Say what?

Murder, Charlie,
and I think I got ahold of the killer.

[Scoffs]

Cover him.
[Clears Throat]

Excuse me.
Uh, did you lose something?

A gold button with
a very interesting design.
Only I didn't lose it. I found it.

Right there.
Next to the body.
Okay, okay. Come on.

Let me see it.
Well, I certainly
didn't pick it up.

I left it right there, untouched.
It could be a very valuable clue.

[Exhales Loudly]

I... I don't see
any gold button.

Well, neither do I,
but it was right there.

When I went to call for help,
I was only gone about 30 seconds.

So the button disappeared
in 30 seconds?

Maybe the killer
was hiding behind the set.

Now he saw me find it,
and he realized it could be incriminating,

so he grabbed it
while I was talking to the... to the guard,

and then
he slipped out of the building.

That's a very interesting theory.
You have any thoughts about
the Jimmy Hoffa disappearance?

There's no need to be
sarcastic, Lieutenant.

I'm sorry.
I didn't catch your name.
Hernandez. Mike Hernandez.

And you are?
Oh. Jessica Fletcher.

Fletcher? Isn't that the guy
who wrote the book
that Lydecker was filming?

Got a couple of initials up front.
What...

J. B. "B" for Beatrice.

That's you, isn't it?
Hey, this is terrific.

It's a pleasure to meet you.
I do a little writing myself.

Oh.
Well, I've never
sold anything.

But I've got a screenplay with an agent.
There's some interest in it for a TV movie.

How nice.
Yeah. Listen, J.B.

Careful, watch your step.
Do you have any theories
about the murder?

Oh, I leave theories
to the experts, Lieutenant.

I'm only a mystery writer.
I'm not a detective.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
What the hell is going on in here?

Wait a minute.
Hold it. Hold it.

Lieutenant Hernandez.
Who are you?

Ross Haley. I'm directing this picture.
This is Marta Quintessa.
She's doing the costumes.

- Why are all you police here?
- Hasn't anybody told you yet?

No, Lieutenant. We were in
the Ladies' Wardrobe going over
the costume changes.

Heard the sirens, went outside,
saw the police car
in front of the soundstage.

- Ross, I think there's been an accident.
- No, no. No accident.

Who is it?

- [Marta Gasps]
- Whoa. Take it easy.

Get her over here.
Come right over here.

Help her...
Let her sit down right there.
That's good. That's right.

Take a deep breath, sweetheart.
Fill your lungs with air.
That's better. That's...

[Gasps]
That's better. It must have been
a terrible shock to you.

I'm gonna get you
some cold water.
Oh, thank you.

Do either of you know anybody
who might have had a reason
to kill Lydecker?

Anybody? What about everybody?
Would the suspects please
form a double line.

Lieutenant, Jerry was not exactly
America's sweetheart.

Particularly after he started this movie.
I mean, even his best friends
were beginning to hate him.

By the way, Lieutenant.
Sorry to bring this up,

but, uh, shouldn't someone
tell our star that her-her
starmaker has gone to his Maker?

- Oh, yes, Eve.
- Eve? Eve who?

Eve Crystal. She and Jerry
were, uh, quite close.

She left right after
the shooting today.

I'd tell her myself,
but I have an appointment
with the studio brass.

Well, there's no love lost
between us.

I think it would only
make it worse
if I told her.

Oh, dear. Well, I wouldn't want to
hear it on the 11:00 news.

I agree. You tell her.

Well, l-I thought the police
were supposed to do that.
Not if we can get somebody.

Look, J.B.,
I'd appreciate it.

I'm gonna be tied up here
for quite a while.

If you don't mind,
I'll get somebody to drive you, okay?

Very well, I'll do it.
I'll take care of it.

Marta, can you tell me
where I can find her?

Yes, yes.
She lives at Jerry�s beach house.

Oh, Miss Crystal?
Yes?

I was afraid I had
the wrong house.
Do I know you?

Well, actually, we've never met.
But I was on the set today.
You work at the studio?

No. The movie that
you're starring in though
is based on a title that I wrote.

I'm Jessica Fletcher.
Charmed.

- What a lovely place.
- Some scotch?

Oh, no. No, thank you.

Or a pill?
Any color you like.

- Jerry has it all.
- Nothing for me, thank you.

I'm having enough trouble
coping with jet lag.

[Giggles]
I'll drink to that.

[Giggles]
Can't seem to hold my liquor today.
That's a joke.

Did Jerry send you here?

Where is Jerry?

Eve, I have something
very important to tell you.

Go on.
But I want to be sure you're capable
of understanding what I have to say.

It's okay.
I can hear every single word.

This won't do.

[Laughs]
You take everything so serious.

You gotta relax a little.
Have some fun.

I know. Wanna go
skinny-dipping in the ocean?

Uh, Eve...
Well, maybe a dash of cold water
is just what you need.

- Come with me.
- [Shrieking]

Lady, cut it out!

It's freezing!
Okay. Wrap up warm
in this.

I'll go put the kettle on.
You get into something dry.

[Jessica]
How do you feel?

[Chuckles]
Okay.

Should've known better.
I was so tense when
I got home from the studio.

I thought a couple of drinks
would make me feel better.

I couldn't stop.
Guess I shouldn't drink alone.

What time is it?
Why isn�t Jerry here?

Eve, listen to me.

Something tragic happened
at the studio after you left.

I'm so sorry to have to tell you this,

but, Mr. Lydecker is dead.

Dead?

[Voice Breaks]
I don't believe it. He...

He can't be dead.
Eve...

Well, what happened?
An accident? What?

I'm sorry, Eve, that there's
no easy way to tell you.

Somebody killed him.

God.
[Crying]

[Man]
Uh, Mrs. Fletcher...
Mrs. -Mrs.... Over here. Come on.

Mrs. Fletcher,
is it true that you found the body?

Mrs. Fletcher, as a prize-winning
mystery writer, what can you tell us
about the murder of Jerry Lydecker?

I have no idea.
Now, please, excuse me.

How are you involved
in this real-life crime?
Give us a break, will ya?

Hey, this is okay.
It is quite charming,
isn't it?

You mentioned
some questions, Lieutenant?
Oh.

Yeah. Listen, J.B.,

when you discovered the body,
did you touch the murder weapon?

The metal urn?
Certainly not.
I never touched anything.

Well, that's funny.

Someone took the trouble
to wipe off all the fingerprints,

and it's something an ordinary
killer in a big hurry to get away
probably wouldn't think about.

But somebody might...
But it's the sort of detail that...

an experienced mystery writer
wouldn't overlook, right?

You said it, J.B., not me.

Lieutenant Hernandez,
are you seriously suggesting
that I murdered Jerry Lydecker?

Hey. Now, look.
I don't think you murdered anybody.
Thank you.

But the captain is not a writer,
and he doesn't have my keen insight.

And the way he sees it,
you didn't like what Lydecker
was doing to your book.

You had the opportunity,
and you were caught leaving
the scene of the crime.

So, what do you think?

[Sighs]
Put that way, I do sound like
a good suspect.

Look, J.B., if you've got
any ideas on this case,

this is the time
to share them with me.

[Laughs]
Lieutenant Hernandez,

I have absolutely no intention
of trying to help you solve this murder.

I'm going back home
to Maine tomorrow
on the noon plane.

Unless of course,
that is now out of the question.

I thought you might wanna
stick around. Anyway, to see what
Ross Haley does with your picture?

Ross Haley, the director?
Also the producer.

As of two hours ago,
the studio decided to go ahead with
The Corpse Danced at Midnight.

Hello.
I know you.

Well, we haven't actually met,
but I'm Jessica Fletcher.

Oh, sure.
I loved your book.

I'm just sorry I couldn't
put more of it in my screenplay.
So am I.

But, I understand your difficulties,
Mr. Gebhart.

Call me Allan.
I'm only Mr. Gebhart to my mother.

You were there the day
Jerry gave me the boot.

But guess what?
Ross invited me back.

Oh. I must say,
I find the motion picture business
so confusing.

I mean, how can a director
also be a producer?

Well, these days,
anybody can be a producer.
Even a writer.

Then I suppose it was an opportunity
for him?

Uh, in this town, Mrs. Fletcher,
we have two kinds of people.
Those working and those in development.

The ones in development
spend a lot of time
at the unemployment office.

Ross Haley was practically
a regular.
Until this film came along.

Mr. Haley must be
very grateful.
To Jerry? No way.

It was Ross's project from day one
until Jerry horned his way in,
dragging little Eve behind him.

It was a payoff, pure and simple.

Ross had to give up
his producer's credit
or no Eve Crystal.

Now things are back to
the way they should've been.
Mmm. I see.

You know, it seems to me as if
Mr. Lydecker's death may have been
a stroke of good luck for Mr. Haley.

For all of us,
Mrs. Fletcher.

With this picture,
we could all make it big.
Now, come on. I'll show you.

??[Dance]

[Ross]
Cut!
Okay. Kill the music.

Let's start clearing the smoke.
Get those doors open.

Jessica, you look so bewildered.
Oh. I must have misread
the shooting schedule.

I could've sworn this called for
a high school marching band parade.

No. That was changed because
Eve's new costume isn't ready.

Not that there was anything wrong
with the old one, but, uh,
she likes to make my life difficult.

[Chuckles]
That sounds catty.
I'm sorry.

Well, you did mention
there was no love lost between you.
That's putting it mildly.

I want some of this neon to pulsate.
Get rid of the car, and you have too much
smoke over there, not enough here.

On the first day of shooting,
a party scene,

someone put
real vodka into her glass as a joke.

She turned bright red
and accused me of
trying to ruin her scene.

Well, why pick on you?
[Laughs]
Is it possible that you don't know?

Before Eve wiggled her way
into Jerry�s heart,
I used to live at the beach house.

[Hernandez]
Excuse me. Uh, everybody hold up.

May I have your attention, please?

Lieutenant, this is a closed set.

And this is a murder investigation.

Miss Finch, will you be so kind as to
point out the person you saw
threaten Jerry Lydecker's life?

- She's the one. Mrs. Fletcher.
- [Murmuring]

That's ridiculous.
I never threatened him.

Uh, Miss Finch.
Do you recall her exact words?

Yes. She said,
"I promise you, Mr. Lydecker,

that I will do whatever I have to do
to stop you from making this picture. "

[Scoffs]
Well, I admit it sounds
rather provocative out of context...

Miss Finch, what did she say
to you yesterday...

when you suggested that
she phone Jerry Lydecker instead of
coming to see him on the set?

She said, " What I must do
cannot be done on the telephone."

And then she killed him.
Rubbish.

Mrs. Fletcher, you better
come with us. Brody.

Good heavens.
I think I'm under arrest.

Hey, Arnold. I'm tired of being
jerked around on Ghetto Detective.

Now either you get me the deal I want
or I get a new agent. All right?

[Handset Slams In Cradle]

Lieutenant, don't you think it's time
you read me my rights?
Not necessary.

Would you like a cup of coffee?
No, I don't want a cup of coffee.
I want justice.

Relax. J.B., I'm not gonna book you.
At least not now.

Well, why'd you bring me in?
Ah-ha. To throw off
the real killer...

and to give you a chance
to do your thing.

Having someone accuse me of murder
in front of all those people was a ploy?

Not necessarily.
That secretary did hear you
make that accusation.

And, frankly, J.B.,
you've been upgraded from
a good suspect to the prime suspect.

The D.A. Thinks that he can
get a conviction based on that evidence.
What do you think?

Ah, see? I know you better than that.

And I said to the D.A., I said,

"Hey, you watch.

This lady is gonna clear herself
by coming up with the real killer."

- And what if I don't?
- Well, then we're both in
a lot of trouble.

[Knocking]
Is that you, Norman?

Yes.
The door's open.
Come on in.

Mrs. Fletcher?
Oh. Mrs. Fletcher.
Let me tell you...

As soon as Marty Strindberg heard that
you had been arrested, he sent me
straight to police headquarters.

To spring me?
No. To make a deal.

He can get you anything you want at
Warners, Fox, Paramount... anywhere...

except for the studio where
your picture's being made.

On account of your arrest,
you've been banned from the lot
as a disruptive influence.

Norman.
Mrs. Fletcher.

Norman, would you like to
defend me on a murder charge?

Murd... Murder? Mrs. Fletcher,
I'm not a real-real lawyer.
I'm in show business.

Well, we may be able to avoid it,
but it'll take very hard work
and a good deal of research.

Are you game?
Name it. Mrs. Fletcher, I will do
anything to stay out of a courtroom.

Good. Well, Norman,
I want you to look into
Eve Crystal's medical records,

Allan Gebhart's battle with alcohol
and drugs, Ross Haley's financial status...

and Marta Quintessa's relationship
with Jerry Lydecker.

[Exhales Forcefully]
Ah.

[Nervous Laugh]
Mrs. Fletcher,
I don't know where to start.

Be resourceful.
Meantime, I have a few things
to look into at the studio.

Do you have any contacts there?
Yes, but it won't
do you any good.

They won't allow you
to set foot on the lot.

[Man]
Is this what you wanted to see?

Yes. I think so.

If you want to talk to me,
you have to push
that little switch forward.

This switch?
You got it.

Are you sure this is the footage
Mr. Lydecker was watching
just before he was murdered?

Yes. I checked the reel number myself.
This is it.

Thank you, Mr. Lester.
My pleasure.

And please give my regards to
my nephew Norman,

who almost never comes by
for Friday night dinner anymore.

I'll tell him.

[Man]
End marker. End marker.
End markers.

Hey, hey. Come on, guys.
Hey, come on. We gotta go.

Hey, come on.
We gotta go.

[Shrieks, Giggles]
[Man]
Get out of the way. Get out of the way.

Oh, excuse me, Mr. Bennet.
I hope I'm not disturbing you.

I thought you were in the slammer.
Well, that was just
a police mistake.

I want you to know that
I just came from seeing some rushes.

It's so exciting to see my book come alive,
and you are absolutely wonderful.

Yeah? Thanks.

Say, um, could I give you
an autographed picture?

Just a little something
to take back to Vermont with you.
Why, that's very thoughtful.

I just happen to have
a couple with me here.

I suppose once this movie's over,
you'll be an even bigger star.
Matter of time, that's all.

Such a shame about
Mr. Lydecker.

I'm sure he was a great help to you
in your career.

[Scoffs]
About like a pair of combat boots
at a track meet.

[Laughs]
There you are.

Oh, "Love and kisses, Scott Bennet."
How nice.

But wouldn't you rather
give this to Eve?

What's that supposed to mean?

Oh, I'm sorry.
I was under the impression
that, you know, you were,

what do they call it, an item,
is that the term?

Bennet to the set, please.
[Clears Throat]
Um, who told you about us?

Well, actually, Mr. Bennet, you did.
Just now. Or, rather, you...
We're ready for you on the set.

You bore out what I noted
up on the screen.

Mr. Bennet.
Wh-What?

You're wanted on the set.
Now?

Yes.
I don't want to hold you up.

[Frustrated Sigh]
Ross, what the hell's going on around here?
I thought this was a closed set.

[Jessica]
You know, it must be so difficult to cope
with those last-minute costume changes.

You have no idea, Mrs. Fletcher.

- Oh, please. Call me Jessica.
- I'm Elinor.

You know, Elinor,
I was just thinking.

Our director and costume designer
were right here in this room
discussing the new costume changes...

at the very moment that
Mr. Lydecker was murdered.

No.

According to the director,
they left together soon after
they heard the police siren.

They left before the siren.

I was alone when I heard it.
It gave me goose bumps.

But they did leave together?
No. Separately.

I believe Miss Quintessa left first.
Did it matter?

Oh, not that I know of.

I suppose the police asked
a lot of questions
about the original costumes.

They were only interested in seeing
the new costumes.

Mostly all I could show them
were the sketches.

You know, I'd be terribly interested
to see those original costumes.
I heard they were gorgeous.

Ah. Come with me, Jessica.

Here. Look for yourself.

[Gasps]
Breathtaking.

Oh, and all of these discarded.
It's a shame.
That's what it is.

A wasteful, extravagant shame.

You know, I seem to recall a drawing
of a drum majorette's costume.

That's the only costume
that isn't here.

You wouldn't happen to know
where it is, would you?

Well, I know who took it
and never brought it back.

[Jessica Gasps]

Stop that man!

[Jessica]
Norman! Stop him.

Let me go.
[Norman]
Who are you?

Ross Haley. Let me go.

What happened?
Well, Mr. Haley was hiding
in Eve's dressing room,

and when I surprised him,
he shoved me aside
and ran out the door.

All right. Search him, Brody.
You can't search me.
I didn't do anything.

All right. Listen,
he's got a point.

I don't need any problems with
the Supreme Court.

Lieutenant, he knocked me off my feet.

Oh, that's right.
That's felonious assault.
Search him, Brody.

All right. Against the car.
Assume the position.

Spread your feet.
Hands on the hood.
Now what happened?

I went into Eve's dressing room
because I was searching for
the costume...

- Lieutenant.
- Hey, a gold button.

Isn't this the button that you saw
next to Jerry Lydecker's dead body?

That's it.
It has the same design.
Well, that's good enough for me.

Haley was trying to plant this button
in Eve Crystal's dressing room
when you caught him in the act.

Cuff him, Brody.
I want my lawyer, Hernandez.
You're not gonna get away with this.

[Vehicle Drives Away]

Mrs. Fletcher, you did it.

You uncovered the real killer
and got yourself off the hook.

Well, Lieutenant Hernandez
seems to be of the same opinion.

Now, Norman,
did you get the information that I want?

Oh, yes, ma'am, and you were dead-on.
Listen to this.

Ross Haley mortgaged his house
on a couple of bad option deals.

He is overextended in every direction
and deeply in debt...
[Snaps Fingers]

That's why he had to make this
his picture. He wanted to get credit
for a hit.

And the rest.
The rest?

The rest, Norman.
Oh. Oh, yeah. The rest.
It's right here.

Allan Gebhart successfully kicked drugs
but is still having a problem with alcohol.

Eve Crystal has diabetes mellitus
and takes oral medication.

And Marta Quintessa?
Oh. She used to be
Jerry Lydecker's mistress...

and once-once threatened
to turn him into a shish kebab
for fooling around with younger women.

[Laughing]
Norman, I knew you could do it.

Mrs. Fletcher,
could I buy you a drink?

You cracked this case,
and, well, that calls for a party.

A party?
That's a brilliant idea.

Ooh!
Oh. Here you go.

Oh, thank you.
And thanks to our gracious hostess...

for this lovely little farewell
get-together with my new friends.

I hate to say good-bye to people
that I like.

Marta.
Oh, thank you.

- Eve.
- No. Thanks.

How about you, tiger?
Oh, you bet.

Perhaps you'd prefer a diet soda?
I'm sure Eve has some in the house.

Oh, yeah.
It's in the refrigerator.
I'll get it.

Bring me one?
Sure.

I hope this isn't going to be
too sentimental.

I have been known to
weep buckets over a verse
in a greeting card.

I cry over greeting cards too,
especially when they say "Happy Birthday."

- [Laughing]
- Well, I see no reason
to let this stuff get warm. Skoal.

The man at the wine shop
said that's a very good vintage.
He wouldn't know.

It went past his taste buds
too fast to even leave a flavor.

Scott, now you won't be able
to drink to Mrs. Fletcher's toast.

You're absolutely right,
and I must do something about it.

Eve.
Thank you.

Dear lady, you're on.

If you don't mind,
I'd like to save my toast till last.

Okay.
To The Corpse Danced at Midnight.

The film that died at noon.

You're sure they won't try to
finish the film?

I mean, with a new director
and a new producer?
Not a chance.

The top-grossing picture this week
is about sex-crazed teenagers
on a cruise.

And, uh, Eve's studio
has asked her to do a picture about
sex-crazed teenagers on safari.

Based on a Hemingway short story.
Oh. Poor Ernest.

To Jerry Lydecker,
wherever he may be.

You know, it's easy for us
to make fun of him, but he really
wasn't such a terrible person.

Oh, tell me about it, darling.
He-He was always kind to me.

Well, I'll drink to that.
I might choke drinking to Jerry.
I prefer to drink to your toast.

Well, you might choke
on my toast too, Allan.

To Ross Haley,
a man wrongfully accused of murder.

I have to be going.

I have decisions to make about my life.
New places. New people.

- I may get married.
- I have to go too.

Not that this hasn't been fun.

Tomorrow morning, I'm starting
a new screenplay to try to
restore my self-esteem.

Well, I hope you'll send me a copy
if it's not too much trouble.

No trouble at all.
Just don't make a book out of it
and do to me what I did to you.

I promise.
[Laughs]

I refuse to say good-bye to you, Jess.

Au revoir.
Au revoir.

More champagne?
No, I wanna look good
in the morning.

I have a breakfast meeting
with a guy from a TV network
who wants me to star in a new series.

- [Eve] Great. Tell me about it.
- Well, there's nothing to tell.
Just another series.

Look, I gotta go work out.
In fact, I'm running late for
my health club appointment now.

Scott, don't go.
Look, I gotta stay in shape.
That's showbiz.

Look, I'll call you.
I really will. I'll call you.

And a very good-bye to you too,
Mrs. Fletcher.
Good-bye, Scott. Good luck.

Thank you.

Well, party's over.

Did you, uh,
really have to say that about Ross?

It's true, you know.

He didn't kill Jerry Lydecker.

He was arrested.
Oh, he committed a crime.

He removed evidence from
the scene of the murder.

And according to his confession
with the police,

while I was trying to
make myself understood
to the security guard,

he came onto the stage by
another entrance and found the body.

He also found a gold button
from a costume.

He knew at once
who had killed the producer.

But he wanted to
protect that person to finish the picture.

So he took the button and removed
the fingerprints from the urn...

and left the same way
that he'd come in.

There's still time to tell your story
to Lieutenant Hernandez, Eve.

I don't know what
you're talking about.
Don't you?

Mr. Lydecker caught on to the fact
that his prot�g� was having an affair
with her costar.

It's not true.
Oh, Eve. Your relationship
was obvious in the love sequence...

Mr. Lydecker saw
just before he went to the set.

He wanted to discuss the costumes
that you didn't like.

That would explain why you wore one
from a scene that hadn't been shot yet...

and that never will be shot.

Jerry told me he wanted to
drop Scott from the film.

Only a few of his scenes had been shot,
so they could be restaged with
another actor at no great financial loss.

Jerry's words.

It would've ruined his career.

I begged Jerry not to do it.
He just laughed.

Don't you see? I had to do something
to stop him.

I grabbed the nearest thing
I could get my hand on. A heavy urn.

He was going to spread the word
that Scott had been fired...

because he was trouble,
didn't bother to learn his lines.

Never showed up
at the set on time.

I didn't know I lost a button.
I just ran to the car and drove here
in my costume.

Well, that's why Ross Haley
couldn't find your costume
in your dressing room closet.

He was trying to return the button
when I walked in on him.

- Protecting me?
- No. Not you, Eve.

His picture.
He desperately needed a success.

Even a dreary, secondhand success.

- How did you know?
- Well,

I didn't, not at first.

You fooled me with your drunk scene.

People don't give you
enough credit as an actress.

It was only later that
I started thinking about
what you were drinking that night.

I'm no expert,

but even I know that real drinkers
don't mix scotch whiskey with diet cola.

Then I remembered Marta saying...

that someone put vodka in
your glass in a party scene,
and it caused you to turn bright red.

Well, there is a certain
oral medication that diabetics use
that could've caused that.

You're not a drinker.
You never were.

You knew somebody would
come to tell you about Mr. Lydecker,

and you knew that
you had to have an alibi.

I thought I could make it
look as though I'd been
drinking alone for hours...

so no one would ever suspect.

Do you want me
to make the phone call?

You know, it's-it's funny.

I never wanted to be a movie star.

It was all Jerry�s idea.

I would've done anything for him.

Jerry. Scott.

I sure know how to pick 'em,
don't I, Mrs. Fletcher?