All language subtitles for The A-Team (1983) - S04E05 - The Road to Hope (1080p x265 EDGE2020).eng

You're not Hannibal?
Oh, Jim Beam's the name...

[stammering]
and drinking's the game.

Well, then where is he?

Who the heck are you?

Jack?
Jack Daniels.

I think they got
a body laundry.

There's a piece
of nifty news.

B.A.,
I'm coming over the wall.

We're gonna open a mission
across the street
from the Moonlight Mission...

and run them
out of business.

Hallelujah!

This is all
too good to be true.
I know.

(male narrator)
In 1972,
a crack commando unit...

was sent to prison
by a military court...

for a crime
they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped...

from a maximum-security
stockade...

to the Los Angeles
underground.

Today,
still wanted
by the government...

they survive
as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem,
if no one else can help...

and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire
the A-Team.

[gun firing]

May I take your order, sir?

Just coffee for now,
please.

[cutlery rattling]

I rest my case,
meinColonel.

The woman came to the table,
she looked around...

and she saw only you.

It's because
I'm better-looking.

[laughing]

It's because
I made myself invisible.

I saw you the whole time,
Murdock.

You see, Colonel,
all I have to do...

is just
think of white paper.

Just concentrate
on white paper, white paper...

and then whammo-bammo,
I'm gone.
People can't see me.

[chuckling]

[people chattering]

Hi, Hannibal.
Hi, guys.

Well, that's her.
That's my new ride.

(Face)
Loudest noise in it
is the electric clock.

Man, is that clock loud.

[tires squealing]

[sighing]
Oh, boy.

Where's Murdock?

Here he is. Right here, man.
Where?

Nice try, Face, but I know
you picked him up
this morning...

so you've already seen his
"Carmine the Invisible" act.

I'm coming back into focus.

(Murdock)
My molecular structure
is reversing.

I'm solid and....
And I'm back.
Hi, guys. Miss me?

Oh, my gosh.
There he is. He's back.

(Face)
Minus the baseball cap,
of course.

Oh, by the way,
reason I'm late is...

I stopped off
to sign the sales agreement.

Yeah, I figured,
with all the cash we got now,
why not?

You only live once, guys.
You gotta grab all the gusto
and Excaliburs you can.

We don't have the money yet.

We haven't even
taken the job yet.

[whispering]
She's coming back.
She's coming back.

Now, watch this.
I'm going to fade out.
Don't let this spook you.

Hi.
Coffee?

Yeah, thanks.

Milk.

It's getting easier.

When I first realized
I could do this...

it would take sometimes
an hour or more...

for me to reverse
my molecular structure.

You know, Murdock,
sometime I wish
you were invisible...

'cause you don't ever
seem to go away.

Guys, this Christina Trapolis
is a little bit too good
to be true.

I mean, she wants us
to fly to Monaco...

spend two weeks
in her penthouse apartment...

followed by 10 days
in her 200-foot yacht...

all in the name of
upgrading her security.

And for this hazardous piece
of work, she's willing to pay
$300,000...

half of it up front.

She should be
selling bridges in Brooklyn.

Oh, come on, Hannibal,
please!

The Brooklyn Bridge
goes for $500,000,
$600,000 minimum.

Believe me, I know.
I've sold it twice already.

Boy, I'd love to own
that bridge.

I think she's a bird dog
for Decker.

I'm going to run her past
Jack Daniels when she brings
the money this afternoon.

I've got it set up
in an alley downtown.
But I want you guys on a roof.

I've got a feeling
that Decker's gonna show,
and I might need a bail-out.

Oh, when did you come in?
Can I get you some coffee?

Wait a minute.
I ain't going for it, guys.

You told her.
She's in on this.

Tell B.A. he's in place.

Invisible Apple to Apple 1,
Invisible Apple to Apple 1,
come in.

Hey, fool, you Apple 2.

Now, don't be messing
with the radio codes.

Now, this is Invisible Apple
reporting...

that Apple 3
is in position...

and Apple 4
is on the binoculars.

And yours truly is moving
in and out of a rainstorm
of molecular activity.

[garbage clattering]

[bottles rolling]

I didn't hear you come in.

[slurring]
I have been looking
for a new domicile.

Jim Beam.
Jack Daniels.

A moniker, I admit,
but it shields me...

from the torments
of reflective introspection.

You use some pretty
fancy words there, Jack.

It's a holdover
from my early days.

Listen, if I was you,
I wouldn't sleep
in this alley.

Two guys disappeared
in the last two weeks.

Is that so?

For what purpose?
Don't know.

They got some guy down here
picking off our guys.

I don't know why.
I've been trying to stay
at the mission...

but after two or three days
they make you, you know,
pack up and go off...

let somebody else
have a chance.

But they got a list.
Two weeks before you can
go back again.

Did anybody call
the constabulary?

You may have noticed
that the police...

don't have a real
high interest in bums.

[both laughing]

Are you hungry, Jack?

Look. You see that
restaurant down there?

Guy at the mission told me
you get a handout down there.

Ask for William.
William.

I thank you
for your courtesy.

[exhaling]

[pigeons cooing]

Molecules,
they don't know nothing.

No, you got to use
mental stimulation.

Electrified ions--
Hey, Murdock,
I'm in a....

Who are you talking to?
What are you talking about?

Never mind, never mind.
Listen.

We got a small problem.
I'm a little confused.

There's two winos down there.
Now, I don't know
which is which.

Did Hannibal
have a bald head...

or did he have the beard
and the red hair?
What you asking me for?

You're the one who goes
and buys the wigs
and the makeup all the time.

Well, listen,
there are two winos there...

one of them just sitting
still, the other one's gone
to the back of the restaurant.

Well, then, we'll have to
go down there
and take a look at them.

No. Hannibal would be
the one sitting down.
No, not necessarily.

If he thought
there was gonna be trouble,
he might move...

away from the other wino.
Negatory, good buddy.
Negatory.

Hannibal would be
holding his turf, knowing that
if he was with a wino...

we wouldn't know
which wino was his wino,
which wino wasn't his wino.

And the wino he was
is the wino he'd want us
to see, you know?

Good sir, I am seeking
one known as William.

[Hannibal moaning]

Invisible Apple
to Apple 1.

(Murdock)
We got two winos
in the alley.

Face thinks that
Hannibal is the wino
that moved away from you.

I think Hannibal
is the one sitting right
in the middle of the alley.

But it's up to you,
big guy.

I mean, this is too tall
to call from the top
of Spencer's Mountain.

(B.A.)
Right.

[exclaiming]

(Murdock)
Face! Something's shaking.
Get on that walkie-talkie.

Tell that ugly mudsucker
that an ambulance
just pulled up.

Apple 1--
They're going
into the restaurant.

But Hannibal,
he is still right down there
in the middle of the alley.

(Face)
B.A., we got an ambulance.

Pull up to the far side
of the alley. Over.

Listen, B.A.,
stay on that ambulance.

I'm not sure who's in it.
It could be Hannibal.
Could be.

It could be the other wino.
Could be somebody
from the restaurant.

Here comes the girl.

(B.A.)
Hey, man, what do you
want me to do?

Follow the ambulance
or watch the dude
in the alley?

I'm telling you,
that's Hannibal sitting right
in the middle of the alley.

Your call, Lieutenant.

All right, well, stay put.
She's got the briefcase.

Remember, guys,
that's our money in there.
We'll hold and wait.

I have your money.

$150,000 in advance.

This is my money?

Take it.

That's it. That's it, guys.
It's Hannibal.
He's got the money.

[siren wailing]

Grab him!

And throw him in the back
of that truck, and don't be
gentle about it.

[exclaiming]

They got Hannibal.
Invisible Apple to Apple 1.
They got Apple 3.

(B.A.)
Not yet, they haven't.

Search the entire area.
The rest of the A-Team
can't be far.

Corporal....

(driver)
Hey, what's going on?

Drop your weapons.

(Murdock)
Get down on the floor.

(Decker)
There they are. Open fire!

[guns firing]

Come on, Face!

It was a setup,
but at least you got
the money, Hannibal.

(Jim)
Who's Hannibal?
Everybody calling me Hannibal.

You not Hannibal?
Oh, Jim Beam's the name...

[stammering]
and drinking's the game.

Hey, guys,
this ain't Hannibal.

Well, then where is he?

Hello, hello.

Whom do I owe for this odyssey
into the world of science?

I understand
your name is Jim Beam.

I go by many names, sir...

but if you could edify
and clarify...

where it is I am...

and to what purpose?
All right, do it.

Chart and draw everything.
Tattoos, identifying marks,
height, weight, everything.

Am I here for
a physical examination?

What the hell is this?

[chuckling]
Oh.

That is a wig.

Sometimes I wear it
by itself...

sometimes I wear it
with my Groucho nose
and glasses.

(doctor)
This guy's wearing makeup.
Who the heck are you?

Well, I can see
why you guys are confused.

But think about me.

I mean, I walk
into a back of a restaurant...

and the next thing I know,
I'm in a science fiction
movie.

He's not the guy
we're looking for.
He's not even the right age.

I'm a newspaperman.
My name is
Thomas Fullerton III.

I was working on an article
on transients...

and I wanted to see
if I could infiltrate...

to see
what I could find out.

He's a newsman.
You don't like newsmen.

How about firemen?
Mailmen?

Cop? Wrong.

Say, I've been trying
to lay off, you know...

I don't really think
I need that.
You're not very....

Now what do we do?

We get a can of lye
and a shovel.

Take him out, plant him,
see what comes up
in the spring.

So, you told him
to go to the back
of the restaurant, huh?

Well--
Why?

Well, there was
a friend of mine
at the Moonlight Mission...

that told me
there was a guy there...

that would give me
a free handout.

Now, wait a minute,
wait a minute, cuz.

I know
a little something
about skid row.

Restaurant owners
don't give handouts.

They don't want
a crowd of winos hanging out
in front of their restaurant.

No, no, he told me to ask
for William.
He's in the kitchen.

And then he'd give me
something...

and I told your friend Jack.
Jack?

That's what Hannibal calls
his wino. Jack Daniels.

So, you told Jack...

and he goes
to the restaurant...

and gets slammed
in the back of the ambulance
and pulled out of there.

Huh, wh--

W-What's going on here?

Well, Hannibal was right
about one thing.

Christina works
for Decker.

I think I'm going to pay
this guy William
at the restaurant...

a little visit.

(Face)
Good idea, B.A.

You guys are going to set
medicine back 50 years.

What paper are you with?

The Buffalo Chip
Town Crier and Farm Report.

I don't like it, Jack.
He sounds like a cop.
Shut up, Bobby.

You better start talking,
friend...

or I'm going to do
open-heart surgery
with this shovel.

In that case,
I got two questions.

Are you sure
you're qualified,
and will it hurt?

A wise guy, huh?

(doctor)
All right, let's go!

(B.A.)
The MPs are still around.

They're probably in there
asking questions.

One of us have to go in.

It's gotta be Murdock.

He's the only one
who's not wanted
by the MPs.

Let's go.

White paper. White paper.

I'm concentrating
on white paper.

I'm gone, right, Face?
You always have been,
Murdock.

(MP)
Oh, man,
nobody ever comes in here.

I'm looking for William.

Hey, William,
you got a visitor.

William?
I thought someone was there.

[Hannibal panting]

Now,
I don't want to complain...

but I don't believe
this area's been
properly irrigated.

I mean, I'm only down here
about four feet,
and I'm down to bedrock.

Now, if you want
a nice, deep grave...

I mean, where I won't get
plowed up in the spring...

we really ought to try
over by the road.
Shut up!

I'm getting tired
of your chatter
and your crummy jokes.

You act like you're going
to a birthday party.

We're going to kill you,
goofball.

Really? Tough luck for me.

I got a good joke for you.
Gorilla story.

This gorilla comes into a bar
and orders a drink.

Bartender doesn't know
what to do...

so he goes down the bar
and he asks the owner.

Now, the owner,
he never had a gorilla
in his bar before...

and he doesn't want his bar
to become a hangout
for gorillas...

but he doesn't want
this animal to get angry
and tear the place up...

so he says,
"Serve him, charge him $20.
Maybe he'll go away."

So the bartender does.

He grabs the gorilla's $20
and he says...

"We don't get
many gorillas in here"...

and the gorilla says,
"No wonder, look
at the prices you charge."

[laughing]
Great story, huh?

[all laughing]

Keep them coming, whitey.
You're gonna die laughing.

Well, promises, promises.

Uh-oh.

I'm gonna need that pickax.

Cover him.

Now, everybody stand back.

I don't want anybody hit
by flying rock.

As I always like to say...

a cautious worker
never needs an excuse.

He's getting away. Get him!

[guns firing]

Okay, Bill. The temperature
of the water in this place
is 200 degrees, huh?

Now, I hate to see you
get parboiled...

with Murdock's sock
in your mouth...

so why don't you tell us
who you're working for...

and where Hannibal's
been taken?

[muffled groaning]

No screaming, huh?
This is a very sedate hotel...

and I'd hate to lose
my "preferred guest" standing.

Look, look, honest,
I don't know.

Some guy
I never saw before...

gave me $200
to chloroform a bum.

He gave me the chloroform,
he told me how to use it.

Well, what did this guy
look like, William?

He was a big guy,
huge shoulders.

He had a little head,
he weighed maybe 200 pounds,
maybe more.

He had a tattoo,
an anchor on his arm.

Bluto.
Yeah.

B.A.

(Face)
If I were you,
I'd start talking.

Honest.
That's what he looks like.

(Face)
The water's just going to
get hotter and hotter.

I'm not lying, I promise.

I think he's telling
the truth, Face.

He gave up being tough
20 minutes ago.

Okay, now let's
go find this guy
and get a line on Hannibal.

Bring him.

(Face)
Hannibal, what are you--

[Face groaning]
We've been looking
all over for you.

Oh, hi, guys.

Do you know what
we've been through?

Hey, Hannibal,
where you been, man?

I don't know...

but I made some neat
new friends.

I met a blue-eyed whale
in a sharkskin suit
who calls himself Bob...

and a doctor named Jack...

who does open-heart surgery
with gardening tools.

What do you say, William?
Who are you?

I'm the guy you chloroformed.

Jack Daniels
was an old geezer, a wino.

[slurring]
I, Jack Daniels,
remain your humble friend.

Well, I'll be damned.

Well,
you were right, Colonel.

Christina works
for Decker.

How much?
$150,000.

She gave it to Jim there.
She thought he was you.

Then he got picked up
by Decker, who also thought
he was you...

but we broke him out.

We thought he was you.

But, besides saving
the wrong man,
we were magnificent.

Face was hanging
on the outside of the van...

I was in my invisible station
in the front seat...

B.A. was driving
and we left Decker
upside down cursing.

Boy, I'm glad
that's over.
Yeah, but it isn't.

We're going to take
Christina's money...

and find out who's been
killing my fellow
knights of the road.

I don't know
who chloroformed me
or where they took me...

but I'm going to find out.
(Murdock)
I love it, Colonel.

Well, I hate it, Colonel.

Look, I still owe money
on the Excalibur.

B.A. owes money
on the reading machines
at the daycare center.

(B.A.)
That's right, man.

Oh, come on, guys.
It's a chance to get down
to skid row...

and party
with some real gentlemen.

I mean, we got Jim
to introduce us...

and we got William
to show the way.

He doesn't even know
who hired him.

Some 200-pound bald guy
with an anchor on his arm.

Sounds like Bluto.

There's a guy like that
on the row.

Yeah, a big guy,
anchor on the arm,
yeah, yeah.

Baldheaded?
That's the guy.

Where's he hang out?

Well, I've seen him
at that Moonlight Mission
on 7th Street.

Okay, now why does Foxy Loxy
and Chicken Little...

run around in a shiny
white ambulance...

dropping the skin
on defenseless winos...

and then taking them
to a state-of-the-art
hospital...

charting their age,
their scars,
the color of their eyes...

and then throwing them
into a 6-foot pit
with a sack of lime?

Is this multiple choice?
I give up, Colonel. Why?

I think they got
a body laundry.

I don't think
they want the winos.
They want the IDs.

Bums, who went away
from society for 10 years...

but still, of course, have
their birth certificates.

I think somebody
at the Moonlight Mission...

fingers the guys
who are the right age
and the right eye color...

for the guy
who wants the ID.

Then they take him
to hospital and they
wind up in Boot Hill.

And then, later...

the guy who wants the ID,
with maybe
some scars added...

turns up at City Hall
and says...

"I've been on skid row
for 10 years...

"but I'm cleaned up now.
I need a new ID."
And the switch is complete.

To... why?
(Hannibal)
Money, Face.

You could sell those IDs
to wanted felons
for $100,000, easy.

What are you going to
do with me?

Let me go, please.
No, sorry, Willie.

You better stay locked up
in the bathroom.

I hesitate to contemplate
what the rest of us are
gonna be doing.

We're gonna open a mission
across the street
from the Moonlight Mission...

and run them
out of business.

Welcome to...

The Road to Hope Mission...

with that soft-spoken
preacher of the road...

Father Foley, whose weapons
are love and rosewater.

And his renowned
revivalist...

Harry Dean Hanover.
Say hallelujah!

Hallelujah, sinners.

Lock your hands and
form a circle. We going to
take stock of things tonight.

The Lord is shining
on your house and all
you got to do is let him in.

And on the organ
and the tambourine...

Brother Ignatius Blacktop,
late of San Quentin...

but now committed
to the path of glory.

I don't like it,
Hannibal.

Say hallelujah!

B.A.
Hallelujah.

And where are you
going to be,
O Righteous One?

On the roof,
with a ham sandwich
and a pair of binoculars...

waiting for Lean Jack
and Chubby Bob to show
themselves. Neat, huh?

[horn honking]

Anything you scam
works for me, Face.

Like that empty building
over there. It's perfect,
but I need it by tonight.

Tonight? Oh, no, no, no, no.
A good scam takes time
to set up.

Well,
we can spend some money.

Okay, okay.
I'll come up with something.

But I'll need help.
I'll need...

Murdock.
It's Invisibility
at your service.

*[Excalibur horn honking]

Yes, and you must be
Miss Fulbright
of the real estate company?

Missus.
Pity. I'm J. Pettybean Ross.

And this is
my financial assistant,
Albert Steiner.

Pleased to meet you,
I'm sure.

Mr. Ross, I can't possibly
understand what you would want
with this building.

It's almost ready
to be condemned.
Condemned?

Oh, no.
Looks like we got here
in the nick of time, Albert.

I'm sure.

Yes. My card.

You're with
the Historical Society?

Well, the Building
and Architectural Division.

I know, I know.
It doesn't look like much...

but underneath all that stucco
and false fronting...

lies an original
Michael Fielding Spencer.

Um....
Michael Fielding Spencer.

[mumbling]

Well, he's
an architectural genius.

He designed buildings
in the South and Southwest.

A few here in LA
before his untimely demise
in the mid-19th century.

He was hit by a streetcar,
June 16, 1948.

Note. Beneath this shell
is a classic structure.

Note the detail
on the Doric columns.

It's here, here, here...

and the classical
winged Cupid
with a drawn bow.

So you want to purchase
the building?

Oh, my.
My, my, my, my....

Well, what we do, see,
is we select buildings
of architectural interest.

We invest our own money
in their renovation...

and then we seek to get
the Historical Society...

to charter them
as a national monument.

Obviously, the owners
will reap a substantial
economic benefit.

This is all
too good to be true.
I know.

Hi. Hi, brothers.

I'm
Father Michael Bing Foley.
It's so good to see you.

I want you to come on in
and have a rest.

Have a steak
and give us your best prayer,
for which we'll give you...

the Lord's reward of $5.

Small price to pay
for the opportunity...

to lure a sinner
home to the Lord.

You got a point there, Bingo.
Yes.
Indeed I do, yes.

Well, now,
won't you go on in there?

Evangelist Harry Dean Hanover
is in the rectory
on your right.

That's right, go right on in.
Bless you. Home to the Lord.

What,
are those guys kidding?

If this keeps up,
we won't have anybody in here.

I'd better get in touch
with Scarett and Colton.
They ain't gonna like this.

You say you can't find him.
You say he won't come.

He doesn't visit anymore.
I say, stand up!

Stand up and be counted.
The Lord will take you back...

if you just
stick out your hand.

You. You, sir, tell me...

how many years
have you been down here...

laying in the self-pity
of your own despair?

(man)
Sixteen years.
Sixteen wine-soaked years.

Sixteen years,
laying in the gutter...

sleeping with lice
in your hat.

Sixteen years of waste
and misery.

Well, I'm saying to you,
rise up!

Rise up
and shake off this misery.

Rise up and say hallelujah.

Rise up and grab that....

Grab that devil by the neck
and cast him out.

Can you do that, brother?

Father Blacktop,
show this sinner
the road to salvation.

You can be
what you wanna be, brother.

All you got to do
is believe.
I will.

Hallelujah!

Who's next?

It's hard to believe.

Hard to believe,
but I'm touched.
It's a touching story.

Welcome. I'm glad to see you.

Hello, brother.
How are you, brother?

Welcome to your new homes,
all of you. Yes, eat.

You're gonna have
three square meals a day.
I'm gonna see to that.

All the clothes you want,
all the fivers you could
possibly need.

Father Bing
is gonna see to that.

Yes, it's good.

Good to see
so many well-fed men
under one roof.

It makes me wonder
where all
the female bums are.

Hello, Face.

Yeah.

They're here.
Tell B.A. I need him.

We're gonna follow
these two cowboys back
to where they hang out...

and find out who they are.

Right.

[birds chirping]

Those guys aren't doctors,
they're playboys.

Stand by on the radio, B.A.

(Hannibal)
Well, look who we got here.

(Hannibal on walkie-talkie)
Apple 3 to Apple 4.
Apple 3 to Apple 4.

Yeah, Hannibal, what's up?

Fat Bob turns out to be
E. Robert Colton...

of the obnoxiously
wealthy Coltons.

Oil, hotels,
shipping, and textiles.

Which makes Skinny Jack
some sort of
underworld suckfish.

I'm not sure how he fits in.

What would a billionaire's
son be doing...

hanging out
with a guy like that?

Why would Christina Trapolis
be hanging out with Decker?

I mean,
the idle rich are begging
for strange playmates.

Must be the French food
makes their brains soft.

Boy, I hope it's not
something in the caviar.

[Murdock preaching]
Yeah.
How's Murdock doing?

Well, I believe
Murdock's finally found
his true calling.

He's in there
doing a rain dance now.

Me, I'm singing
White Christmas
and smiling blandly.

But they're sitting there
with their mouths open...

and we aren't even
giving away fivers anymore.

I wanted to get into
E. Bob's home
and feed him some bad news.

I'm gonna need you, Face.
I laid out a three-man
assault tactic.

All right, where are you?

1512 Cypress Court.

Hidden Valley.
All right.
I'll be right there.

Out.
(Murdock)
...liquor of the soul....

Welcome...

from the Buffalo Chip
Town Crier and Farm Report.

One wrong move
and you got a spot
in the obituary column.

If I call out,
they'll be here in seconds.

You do that, Bob...

then you better tell them
to bring a mop, 'cause
you're gonna be history.

Tough decision, huh?
Tell you what.
Let's take a field trip.

If you're real good,
I'll let you try on
one of my rubber noses.

You don't know
what you're messing with.

I think I got a good idea.

Where's Jack,
the heart surgeon?

I think he's the one
behind all this.

He's at my house
in the country.

How about we take
a little trip to see him?

Only this time,
I'll bring the shovel.

[alarm blaring]

Don't shoot me!
Please, please don't shoot me.

Sometimes a guy's got
no sense of humor.

B.A., it's in the gutter.

I'll cover you, Hannibal.

[guns firing]

B.A.,
I'm coming over the wall.

[grunting]

[tires squealing]

That's the way it's done
in the majors.

[birds chirping]

Victor 3 to Victor 1.
Unfriendlies approaching.

(Hannibal)
Okay, this is the place.

But let's make it fast.
That postman could come up
from breakfast...

and make a call anytime.

(Face)
I love it. He's worried
about the postal department.

This should be smooth.
They don't expect us.

B.A., you take the right.
Face, you take the left.

(Face)
Left, right.

Special delivery.

You've got something
for me?

Yeah, I got a great new
gorilla story.

I know how you love them,
so I came right out.

Save the jokes,
'cause I got plans for you,
wise guy.

Let me guess.
We're gonna dig
some more graves.

The man's a mind reader.

Sorry, guys. It's the ones
you don't see coming
that always get you.

They're not selling
these IDs for money.

Fat Bob is in some kind
of urban terrorist group.

All these guys
are international scumballs
wanted for who-knows-what.

He and Jack the heart surgeon
are getting legal IDs...

for their survivalist army
so they can live
in this country undetected.

Got to give them credit
for originality.

How's it going, B.A.?
Give me a minute.

I just hope
that fool knows what to do
when he hears the tone.

Well, that thing won't reach
all the way into LA, will it?

No. This is a short-range
transmitter signal.
Only goes about 200 yards.

Well, there's a piece
of encouraging news.

Got a relay in the van.
The transmitter in there
can send to anywhere.

Give me the code, Hannibal.

Sixteen minutes past 6:00.

[beeping]

Let's talk about the road
that you traveled.

Then let's plan
your trip to glory.

[watch beeping]

6:16, 6:16.

6:16, 6:16.

6:16 is...

"Mayday. Superior force."

Superior force?
But I'm but one man.

A kind of nutty one
at that, I....

How am I gonna take on
a superior force?

(men)
* Onward, Christian soldiers *

* Marching as to war *

* With the cross of Jesus *

* Marching as before *

We'll get them
in their own truck...

take them to that meadow
across that road there.

The white-haired guy
can tell us funny stories
while he digs his grave.

It's theater of the absurd.
Wait till you hear it.

You know me, Hannibal.
I always like to keep
a positive attitude, you know.

But Murdock is one man
and they have 30.

Where's he gonna
get the troops that he needs?

Are you ready?

Now, I'm gonna
circulate among you...

and I'm gonna ask you
to fill out a card.

Last name first.

First name,
middle name last.

Then, your military rank,
if any...

and your military specialty.

Now I'm gonna
ask you a question.

How many of you boys
have seen service...

in this great nation of ours?

(Murdock)
Raise your sinners' hands.
Good.

Now I'm gonna ask you
a more important question.

How many of you
can make yourself invisible?

Raise your hands.

Only one. Good.

And what's your name, sir?

Murdock, Howling Mad.
US Army. Captain.

All right, Captain Murdock.

It's gonna be up to you
to turn these men
into an army.

Roger.

On command. Ready.
Forward march!

We're gonna have
a little bit of trouble.

Gentlemen,
correct me if I'm wrong.

R. Miller, gunner sergeant,
United States Air Force?

Affirmative.

P. Neil,
military weapons analyst,
United States Army?

Yes, sir.

Gentlemen, I have
three automatic weapons.

One will be secured
by yours truly...

the other two handled
expertly by yourselves.

You will now gain control
of this vehicle,
heeding my direction only.

The rest of you men
in the catering truck.

But, men, remember...

some of us
won't be coming back.

But those of us that do,
will be back...

and those of us
that don't come back
won't be coming back.

Now, I point this out because
if you don't come back,
you won't be back.

And if you do come back,
you will be back.

Any questions?

Road to Hope Rangers,
mount up.

[all exclaiming]

(Hannibal)
Well, this is more like it.

You should have seen
the last one I had to dig.
Solid rock.

But this is great.

We'll be finished with this
in no time.

Well, there's a piece
of nifty news.

Hey, man, you guys
must be crazy...

if you think I'm gonna
dig my own grave.

There's always one shirker,
right, Jack?

Keep it up, whitey...

'cause I'm gonna waste you.

[groaning]

Killing you
is really gonna make my day.

I got a great riddle for you.

What are 30 winos
doing in a catering truck?

Who cares?

Well, now, that could be
a great mistake, Jack.

Because they're all armed
and they're all
right behind you.

[guns firing]

[guns firing]

You know, my little jokes
seemed to bother you, Jack...

but now you're lucky
I got a sense of humor.

You guys were great.
You guys were all great.

[all cheering]

(man)
We had a great commander.

Please! Please, please,
I don't wanna hear it.

I did what I did
because if I didn't do it,
it would have got done.

And I might add
that not doing it...

would have been a lot worse
than doing it badly,
which I was not about to do.

But, please, I....

I feel.... I feel like
I have to scoot over...

because
Father Harry Dean Hanover
wants to get a word in.

It was a fine,
fine piece of work, men.

A fine piece.

Now, how many of you are gonna
swear off that demon rum?

(Murdock)
Good. Good.

And how many of you are gonna
take that other path
to a greater glory?

[stuttering]
I'm gonna live
with my daughter.

I'm gonna take the room
above my kid's garage.

[all cheering]

Well then, my work here....

My work here is finished.

(Murdock)
There's nothing left
for me to do...

but to become invisible
and slowly disappear.

Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.

Well, I'm taking
this car back.

I can't have a car
full of holes.

[engine faltering]

That's one noisy clock
you got there, Face.

I think we did
some good down here.

Yeah, man. You called it,
and that fool Murdock did it.

Makes you wonder
who's crazy.

[engine running]

[car backfiring]