All language subtitles for So.Help.Me.Todd.S01E15.WEBRip.x264-ION10

Previously on
So Help Me Todd...

He's my client.
It's the mayor.

It seems like
just yesterday that

you were my secretary.

I'm not a client.

You're not?
Then who are you?

Oh, you're Peter.

Hey.

(typing on keyboard)

(alarm blaring)

Crap. Ivan the Terrible.
He's back.

What area?
115-G.

He must've left a backdoor
after his last hack.

Found him.
Damn, he's inside.

He's set up 30 proxy servers.
He's bouncing everywhere.

I caught his thread.

Watch out for the decoy.
Yeah, I see it.

God, he's good.

I've got a lock.

We've got a
location on Ivan.

Sending the address to agents
in the area now.

Are we gonna get him? Are
we gonna finally catch Ivan?

(elevator bell dings)

Oh, well...

good morning.

Hey, did you
leave a copy

of Zen and the Art of
Motorcycle Maintenance

in the conference
room yesterday?

Your initials,
"L.B."--

which also means
"pound," by the way--

were on the
inside cover.

It is 9:00 a.m.
Okay, and...?

And yes,
I'm in a book club.

Really? Oh, okay.

I'm sorry, I just can't
imagine you reading anything

that doesn't involve
blaster wounds from Star Trek.

Phaser wounds.
Star Wars is blasters.

And my point exactly.
What is your...

(cell phone chiming)
Oh, oh.

TODD:
Oh, motion detected.

You have a nanny cam
in your nook?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I just installed it.

Don't make a big deal
out of it, okay?

Look, look. That is the
"Forbidden Drawer." The one

you told me on my very first
day I can never touch or open.

No one's allowed

to touch or open that drawer.
Not me, not you.

But Agnes can?

Why didn't you report this
to me immediately?

Because you never believe
anything I say.

(elevator bell dings)
True.

Ooh, but look, look, Lyle.

Lyle, look.
Every Tuesday,

Agnes sneaks in there,
takes files from that drawer,

and puts them in
a big blue envelope.

And then,
every other Thursday,

she sneaks the
files back in.

I'm the only one who's noticing
because you stuck me in there.

So, what's going on?

Is she stealing
high-level firm secrets?

Oh, yes, yes.

She's probably
a dangerous Russian mole.

My God, I hadn't even considered
an international angle.

We've been stagnant
for too long. We need to evolve.

Then let's expand
to places that matter.

San Francisco,
Seattle.

Denver makes no sense.

Do we have any projections?

It makes perfect
business sense, Beverly.

You just lack vision.
BEVERLY: Oh, please.

You wouldn't know business sense
if it bit you on your...

(dance music playing
over cell phone)

(cha-ching sound effect)
(cartoon rabbit laughs)

Oh.

RABBIT: You got paid.
Oh. I'm-I'm sorry.

(cha-ching sound effect)
RABBIT: (laughs) You got paid.

Sorry, I... So sorry.

Um... I'm sorry.
RABBIT: (laughs) You got paid.

Still making lots of noise.

Okay, just, excuse me.
I'll just be right back.

Oh, this is not my scarf.

I don't have that.

Hey.

Hi. Um...

Hey. (chuckles)

Hello. Hello?

Hello.

Is there anything
you'd like to say to me?

Or... discuss?

About what...

happened?

No.

(cha-ching sound effect)
Why?

RABBIT: (laughs)
You got paid.

(both gasp)

Oh, my God, Mom.
I'm sorry.

(screams) Todd, my blouse.
Uh... Ah. Okay.

Come-come-come-come here.
Come, come, come.

Okay, hold on. I have stuff.
Oh, gosh.

Hold on. Um... no.

Get if off, get it off.
Here, here, here.

Get it off.
Um...

Uh...
Get it off.

Don't wipe, don't wipe.
Lift, lift.

Okay, well, I don't know...
Not me,

you ding-dong, no.
Just give me that.

Oh, never mind.

Stained forever.
Wait, what is that sound?

Is that your phone?

Yes, it is. I don't know
what's happening,

so I came to ask you.
This bunny has been

screaming at me for
the last five minutes.

Is that a virus?
No.

Someone named
"Ivan the Terrible"

just paid you
two crypto coins?

Why would Ivan the
Terrible pay me

50 cents?
No, Mom, two cryptos
is like $30,000.

It's a virtual payment
using blockchain.

Blockchain?
I don't understand.

Eh, no one does. It's like
explaining time travel.

Okay,
FRANCEY:
Oh, there you are.

Margaret...
Yes?

...the Federal
Detention Center called.

Somebody claiming to be
your client is in custody

and asking to
speak with you.

Your client
"Ivan the Terrible"?

And every other
Thursday,

Agnes leaves after lunch
with, guess what?

I'm gonna go out on a limb
and say, "Blue envelope."

Yes. So, there's
an empty drawer,

an envelope,

Agnes is snooping
around, but why?

I'm telling you,
something fishy is going on.

The only thing going on
is you having

too much time
on your hands.

And why would this
Ivan the Terrible

send me $30,000
out of nowhere?

Who is he?

He is a super-hacker
extraordinaire.

I checked out
some message boards.

Guy's an
absolute legend.

Well, he has been charged
with five counts

of violating
the Espionage Act,

stealing defense files,
he's looking at 30 years,

and I am not
representing him.

I mean, who sends
"crack-to" currency like that?

Crypto currency.
Crypto.
Well, it's crap either way.

And then files
papers saying that

I'm his attorney
when I am not.

I just want to clear this
all up and get out of here.

(gasps) Wait, Todd. Stop.

It's her.

Natalie Harris.

One of my tri-delt
college friends. (groans)

And the most conniving woman
you'll ever meet.

You have a nemesis?

Yes, well, we competed
at everything.

Debate, field hockey, boys.

And it pains me to say that
I was often on the losing end.

Because she was smarter?

Because she
played dirty.

You know,
I have to say,

I have a little bit more
respect for you

knowing
you're this passionate

about an arch-frenemy.

Is that
Margaret Fairway?

(Western showdown music playing)

You haven't changed a bit.

Margaret, I hear
you're an attorney now.

A career change
so late in life, how brave.

And this is?
My son, Todd.

You must be very proud.

Wow. I really am.

Me and the girls at the sorority
house called your mother

"The Little Engine That Could."

Oh.
No matter
how big she'd fail,

she'd just
keep on trying.

It was so cute.

(all laugh)

And-and you're still with
the Department of Justice?

An Assistant U.S. Attorney?
Yes, that's right.

Oh. (chuckles)
Well, none of us ever doubted

that Natalie would make it.

She was always willing to do
anything just short of murder

to win.
Maybe even that.

(all laugh)

Well, I'm questioning a suspect,

a hacker on the NSA's
most wanted list.

A tiny bit
more complex

than the slip-and-falls
I'm sure you're wrestling with,

but you'll get there in time.

Ivan the Terrible?

Yes, that's the one.

Oh.

Well, I hate to pop
your balloon, Natalie,

but that's my client.

But you said...
And no one talks

to Ivan but me.

Are you sure you're ready
to take on the U.S. Government?

You've been practicing
for, what,

seven minutes?

It was so nice to see
you again, Natalie.

Until court, then. (chuckles)

Oh, yay, you came! I was worried

because I feel like I've been
here for a million years,

but you made it.

You're Ivan the Terrible?

That's just my handle.
I was gonna be "NOOHASF,"

"Number One Original

Harry Styles Fan,"
but it felt basic.

I'm just Ava Morgan, IRL.

"In real life."
Wait, so

you're the one who hacked
the Department of Defense?

Oh, my God, I know,
but they totally deserved it.

Okay.

Uh, well,
let's just back up here.

I'm Margaret...
AVA: Wright.

Filed for divorce
two months ago. Sorry.

You've got a stellar win-rate
of 93%, don't like carnations,

and your Yelp reviews
are awesome,

five stars,
and it's super cool

you work with your family,
which makes you...

Todd.
AVA: ...Todd.

Only 334 hours before getting

your PI license back.

You live in your
sister's garage,

which seems kind of sketch,
TBH.

"To be honest."

Wait, so it was
you who hacked

the Miss Universe
pageant?

Ugh, like a million years ago.

I was in this lame
make-up-y stage.

Uh-huh. And-and
where are your parents?

I sort of don't have any.

I mean, I did
have a mom,

but she died a few years ago,

and then I had a bunch of
different foster parents,

nothing tragic,

but they were extra, so

I emancipated
myself at 17.

And how do you
support yourself?

Yeah, where'd you get all the
money for these crypto coins?

Companies hire me to fix
their computer security.

I'm a white hat hacker,
totally legal.

(chuckles) Hacking into
the Department of Defense

is not legal.
AVA: They are the worst.

Did you know they put
dangerous chemicals

underneath the Laurelhurst Zoo?

Was not aware.
No, I didn't.

And animals got sick.

I was gonna give
the information to the news,

but I got sloppy

and forgot
the first rule of hacking--

everything leaves a trace.

Oh.
AVA: That government
lawyer lady who was

just here
with the tragic sense of style

seems really mad.
I was just

trying to help the animals,
I swear.

Oh, and I have this.

It's proof.

All the hidden
Defense Department files

about the zoo,

but nobody knows I kept a copy.

Ooh...
This could make
our case, right?

Yes. Well, we'll just
take a little peek,

um, before we return it,
of course.

Uh, but let's get you
out of here first.

The federal government has
declared war on my client,

a teenager.

And to suggest

that she be detained

throughout these proceedings

is frankly cruel.

NATALIE: The
defendant is dangerous

with no ties to the area
or family and is a flight risk.

And she was previously convicted

of hacking Crystal Bay
Tuna Company.

Objection.
Because of the
mercury poisoning.

Ms. Harris
should not have divulged

that information
in a public hearing.

Ava was only 12

at the time.

That record was sealed.

Agreed.
But as a condition

to her release and to ensure
she does not go online,

she must be supervised
24 hours a day.

No Internet.

That is acceptable
to the defense.

NATALIE: Actually,
Your Honor,

it's come to our attention
the defendant's

counsel is in possession

of stolen, classified
government property.

Well, how did you know...

Is this correct, Counselor?

My client was acting

as a de facto
whistleblower

attempting to expose
the U.S. Government's crime

in illegally storing
harmful chemicals

and endangering
the public's safety.

Under the WPA,

she is entitled to
protection from retaliation

and access to evidence
to use in her defense.

It's a complicated issue.

We'll schedule

an evidentiary hearing.

Until then,

I'll hold the documents here.

I've got bad news and news.
Uh-huh.

Judge Reece took the thumb
drive. We have no evidence.

We're starting
from scratch.

Okay.
And the other news?

You are
babysitting Ava

for the duration
of the trial.

Wait, what? No.
I can't babysit.

You don't put a thoroughbred
behind a plow.

Won't you need me?
Well, Lyle will handle
the investigation.

(sighs) Lyle.
And this will be
a good lesson for you.

Being responsible for
somebody else for a change.

Being the adult.

And no more of that
blue envelope nonsense.

AVA: I'm starving.
When's lunch?

Are we gonna be staying in your
sister's garage the entire time?

Because that would
be so tragic.

I don't really eat meat,
unless it's bacon,

but I could make an exception,
but you should really watch

those dark web videos
about how hamburgers are made.

So intense.

You look kind of pale.
Are you okay?

Is it the murder hamburgers?
You don't really

have to watch it.
It's just interesting

because cows are my favorite
kind of farm animal.

SONG:
This is insanity.

Representing
a notorious hacker

against
the Department of Justice?

Alistair, I share
some of your concerns,

but our client is

acting as a
whistleblower.

Don't you understand

how difficult
these cases are to win?

I'm worried

you've bitten off
more than you can chew.

Ah. I'm guessing
you've been contacted

by Assistant
U.S. Attorney Harris,

under the guise of
professional courtesy,

no doubt.

You're putting a bullseye

on the firm's back.

We don't want
to get audited, do we?

So now we're taking advice
from opposing counsel?

This isn't a discussion.

You are forbidden

from continuing with this case.

Forbidden? Forbidden?

Ignore the man.
He's been an anchor

around this firm's neck
for years.

I'll take care of it.
He was very definitive.

This is exactly the type of case

you should be pursuing.

Alistair may have helped
launch your career,

but when your name
has come up for promotion,

he hasn't been
quite so supportive.

I don't think
he's comfortable

with his former secretary
surpassing him.

Wow. I had no idea...
I know.

Ask yourself,

why isn't your name
above the door?

TODD:
Of course, Mr. Millis.

We'll fix it
right away.

Thank you.

That was the
downstairs neighbor.

Did you re-program
the elevator

to only stop
on this floor?

Um, yeah, and you're welcome.

It's super convenient now.

Yeah, for us.

Exactly.

And-and what's
going on here

with these...?
(light switch clicks)

Oh, my God, did you break
all of these lamps?

Actually,
I fixed them.

What's the point of having
a smart speaker

if you don't use it?

Lumos Maxima.

BOTH:
Like in Harry Potter.

Okay, uh, that is...

cool, but, uh...
Lumos Minima? Whoa.

Okay, no, no.
New rule,

from now on,
don't touch anything

with a power
source, okay?

Ugh, that's so boring.

And if I don't find out what
Harry Styles is wearing today,

I will die.
What?

Can you look for me?
No.

You can just describe it
to me.
No, I'm not doing that.

Please...
No. What...

This is a sickness.

I'm not feeding
this addiction, okay?

Something is seriously--
Okay, anything to make you stop.

What am I doing here?

Go to "Harry Style's Style
dot com slash style."

Wow, three "styles."
Interesting.
Mm-hmm.

Well, he
was wearing

a few outfits today.

This shirt is,
uh, brown.

Okay. And?
Uh, it-it's brown-ish.

And, like, a collar that's
kind of asymmetrical.
And?

I don't know. It's not all
going in one direction.

What color is it?
It's a... it's a...

it's like a creamsicle brown.
(knock on door)

Ugh, you're so bad at this.

(cell phone chiming)
Wait, hey, hold on a second.

It's not even Tuesday.

SONG:
Don't let anyone see you.

Song.

AVA: Thanks. Bye.
(door closes)

Did you order a pizza?

Hold on, James &
The Giant Pepperoni?

It's my fave.

How did you even...

SMART FRIDGE:
Your pizza is delivered.

Did you hack the fridge?

Oh, my God, relax.

It uses an RFID system

to know when you're out of milk,
so I just tweaked it

to know when
we're out of pizza.

There's a stupid simple
motherboard in the back.

Okay, no, no, no, no.
New, new rule:

don't go near the fridge
and don't eat that.

That is illegal pizza.

Oh, my God.

MARGARET:
If we can prove
that the government

stored dangerous chemicals
on public land,

that is a clear violation
of the Solid Waste Disposal Act.

And no court will convict
"Ava the whistleblower"

for trying to stop the
government from hurting people.

Nope.
(sneezes)

Good God, Lyle.

What happened to you?
Apparently,

I'm allergic to zebras.

You went to the zoo?
Yes.

And I learned that zoo
employees had to evacuate

because of a supposed
gas leak about

eight months ago,

but the gas company
has no record of it.

SUSAN:
Ooh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
In her witness affidavit,

Ava claimed that she saw
a DOD memo authorizing

a "cleaning crew"
being sent to the zoo.

They created a gas leak,

so the employees

would evacuate
the zoo.

Has anyone fallen ill
at the zoo?

(sneezes)
Good God. Bless you.

Four buffalo died recently.

They blame it on
algae in the water.

They're just covering
their tracks.

And how did Natalie know

that we had Ava's thumb drive
with all the proof on it?

Maybe they didn't know about it.

Until Ava mentioned it to us.

Do you think that
it's possible that Natalie

was listening in on us
in the interrogation room?

SUSAN:
That's illegal.
Uh, seems awfully extreme.

MARGARET:
Oh...

You don't know Natalie.

She is up to her old dirty
tricks again. I can feel it.

We're going to have to be
very aggressive

if we want to beat her.

Francey.

Uh, how aggressive
are we talking?

Well, if she listened in
on a privileged conversation

with my client, then that
is grounds to remove her

as a prosecutor. Francey!

Uh, Margaret, I don't think
that's a good idea.

Susan, how else do you
explain the timing?

She is a cheater.

Francey, I need you to set
an emergency hearing

with Judge Reece.

Right now?
Yes.

We should really rethink...
And tell Todd

to meet me at the court.

Can somebody tell me
what's going on?
(elevator bell dings)

We have a snake to catch.

(sneezes)

MARGARET:
Bless you.

(car radio stations
switching rapidly)

Will you please stop
changing all the presets?

I don't want to hear
Justin Bieber constantly.

Stop. I like classic rock
and I like smooth jazz.

Just leave my presets
alone, please.

Not to be mean, but your car
kind of makes me sad.

Yeah, me, too.

But when I save up enough,
I plan to get a...

BOTH:
1969 maroon Mustang.

One of the jail guards was nice
and let me borrow his phone.

I may have looked
at your search history.

Really? Well, word to the wise,
don't look at people's stuff,

okay? Oh, hey,
there she is.

Agnes with that
blue envelope.

Where is she going?
Hold on a second.

What are you doing?
I thought we had

to be at court
right away.

Yeah, well, the hearing's
not for another two hours,

so we're taking a little
fact-finding detour.

And you are not allowed
to touch anything.

There you go.

AVA: What are
we doing here?

Follow me. Be cool.

Next.
Hi, there.

Oh, no.
Use the stanchions, please.

What? Seriously?
Yup.

They're there for a reason.

Okay, here I go.

Hey. Uh, that was my colleague
that you just helped.

Agnes. Kind of yea tall,
not a big fan of smiling.

Has kind of a this face.

Yeah, like that.
Anyway,

poor thing, she's not
completely with it anymore,

and she always forgets to get
a copy of the deposit slip,

so if we could just get that...

So, you work with her?
Both of you?

Yes, this is our summer intern.

Yeah, I'm super
into the law.
That's right.

And we've turned casual Friday
into a whole month.

(chuckles)
How old are you?

Excuse me. Don't answer that.
Don't ask that.

You know, reverse
age discrimination

is not a victimless crime.

No. No, no.

I mean, seriously, it's
the 21st century. How dare you?

Yeah. It's gross.

I am so sorry.
You're absolutely right.

Let me... (clears throat)
...let me print that for you.

Please, and quickly. (chuckles)
Okay.

I mean, in this economy...

Thank you.

Hold on,
are you sure

the money was supposed
to be deposited

in the account for
"Crest, Folding & Sonk"?

Not "Crest, Folding & Song,"
with a "G"?

No, it's Sonk. S-O-N-K.

MANAGER: Alexis.
Excuse me.

TODD:
What is Song up to?

So, your job is to lie
to people? That is so fun.

Hey, you could find
anything online, right?

Yeah.
Okay, uh, so I need a favor.

I need to know where
this money's coming from,

or where it's going,
so can you teach me

how to use an ATM or, like,
the water fountain

to hack into the bank's records?

You want to hack into the bank?
Mm-hmm.

No way. Their
security is for real.

Are you telling me
that Ivan The Terrible

can't hack into
a little old bank?

Oh, Margaret.
An emergency hearing?

You always did have
a flair for the dramatic.

Like when you
accused me of fixing

the Tri-Delt
officers election.

You told everyone
I had lice.

My boyfriend
Theodore dumped me.

For the record, you did
scratch your head a lot.

It made people
very uncomfortable.

Oh, come on, Natalie.
We're not 20 anymore.

You're a professional woman,
for God's sake.

Lying and cheating...

That sounds awful.

But shouldn't we be
getting inside?

I wouldn't want to miss
your big, shocking reveal.

The hearing's not for
another hour.

No, I asked Judge Reece
to move it up.

I hope your little
client can make it.

I'd hate to see you embarrassed
and empty-handed.

Uh...

Call Todd.

This is where your
hacker friends live?

This haunted murder shack?

CHEESE:
Oh, my God. Ivan!

We heard the Feds got you.
You beat the rap?

It's still sort of a thing.

Want us to unleash some digital
justice on their asses?

Uh, I think we got it
covered, thanks.

Anyway, this is Todd.
Hi.

Richter.

Omega.
Cheese.

Cheese?

What's up, Cheese?

Anyone have a pony module
I can borrow?

Thank you.

What's this?

It's for your phone.
What?

They're kind of suspicious.

No, I'm not sus.

I'm a hacker.
I hack.

All right, fine,
I'll play along.

No, no, no, no, no.

You are not allowed
to be online.

Please get up. Could you just
walk me through it?
Oh, my God.

You're so extra.
I'm extra?

There' a guy named Cheese here.

AVA: Just open up
a dialogue box.

Okay.

(phone vibrating)

Ms. Wright,
any thoughts on when

your client is planning
to arrive?

Um, my apologies, Your Honor.

They should be here
any moment.

Margaret being stood up.

Just like old times.

REECE:
Okay, look, let's just begin.

(sighs)

AVA:
Why would your mom's boss

open up a phony account
in Denver?

Not sure, but it's
definitely not good.

And all the deposits are
below 10K,

so it doesn't raise any
federal or banking flags.

Wow. You, like, know stuff.

Uh, yeah. A lot of stuff.

Did you guys
park outside?

'Cause the car
alarm's going off.

Is it a blue piece of crap?
Mm.

Uh, yeah, that's me.
Thanks, Omega.

Appreciate it.

(car alarm wailing)
Come on.

Stupid car.

(sighs sharply)

(muttering)

(alarm chirps)

(hip-hop music blaring)

* *

(alarm chirps)
Uh...

Hey!

(straining)

God, I feel so bad
for him out there.

But this is the only
way we're gonna get

the defense files back.

(grunting)

* *

Oh, come on!

(cries out)

She violated confidential
communication

between me and my client.
NATALIE:
Your Honor,

I'm offended by
the suggestion

I did anything illegal.

These are very serious
allegations, Counselor.

Do you have any concrete proof?

No.

But I would love
to hear from

the Assistant U.S. Attorney

a completely
legal explanation

as to how she knew

I had the files.

As would I, Ms. Harris.

(The Clash's "I Fought the Law"
blares over cellphone)

* I fought the law
and the law won *

(song playing over
everyone's phone)

Oh, oh...

* Breaking rocks
in the hot sun *

(gasps, grunts)
(car alarm still blaring)

(cries out, grunts)

AVA:
Dang.

They patched their security.

(others laughing)
Oh, my God, what did you do?

Please tell me you didn't
do something dumb.

We needed them
to feel our wrath.

You locked me in my car?

Ava?

What did you do?

And because Judge Reece suspects
that Ava was involved

in this stupid prank,

he has revoked his
release order,

and she will be placed
back in jail tomorrow morning.

Mom, you don't understand.
Agnes...

Todd, I don't have time
for this nonsense.

Just take Ava
back to my condo,

and we'll discuss it later.

Come on.

I was just trying
to get the files back.

I'm sorry.

So, what now?

I have subpoenaed
the Defense Department

for the hidden documents,

but they'll just deny
their existence.

Look, Margaret,
I hate to say it,

but do we need
to consider a plea?

Damn it!

I know Natalie smells blood
right now.

But maybe it's
the best thing to do for Ava.

I will start preparing one.

Wait.

So that little girl
is going to spend

the rest of her life
behind bars?

Francey,
Natalie is going to win,

and there is nothing more
I can do.

Nothing?

Nothing at all?

Uh, wait a sec.

Just... stay right here.

Okay. Sure.
Okay.

Whatever.

Susan? Hey, Susan.

I don't have time
right now, Todd.

Hey. Hey, hey,
hey. Hey.

You kissed me in my office,

and now you're just like,
"No, it never happened"?

I mean,
what's going on with you?

Do you have any witnesses?

Any evidence?

Can you prove that it happened?

What? No. Yes. I mean, look,

I'm Portland's
number one investigator.

If I need evidence,
I'll find it.

But why should I?

It didn't happen, Todd.

It couldn't have happened,
because if it did,

that would mean that I...
ALLISON:
Hey, Todd,

where's Mom? Susan.

Hi. How are you?
Hey. Work.

For sure, yeah.

Did I interrupt something?

I really don't know.
What are you doing here?

Mom called. She wants me
to help you watch something

or supervise you...

Mom's having you babysit me

while I'm babysitting Ava?

That is rich. You know,
I make one little mistake...

Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

Uh, hold on.
Wait, where is she?

Uh, Ava?!
Is Ava a teenage girl?

Because she maybe got
on the elevator

when I got off.

Oh, no.

Okay, I'm not running
in these shoes; I cannot.

That's her last known address.

She is not there.

Any known family
in the area?

Nope. And her only friends,
the rando hackers,

cleared out of their
graffiti-tagged nerd dungeon

right after their
little prank.

Well, if we
don't find Ava,

they're going to issue
a warrant for her arrest.

(sighs)
Man.

Just out of curiosity,

why do I need
to be here right now?

Because I cannot be trusted
not to strangle your brother

if we were alone.

I mean, what possessed
you to take Ava

to that hackers' den?

O... kay. Thank you
so much for asking that.

Sorry if this is
blue-envelope related...
Ugh.

...but your boss, Song,

has opened a firm
bank account in Denver.

Denver?
Yes.

Only the name is slightly
off so no one will find it.

But there's all these weird,
small deposits.

It reeks of embezzlement.

Why is Denver
so suspicious to you?

Oh, because he wanted to...

No, he would never.

Embezzlement? Alistair?

Come on, Mom,
how many times has that guy

passed you up
for a promotion?

He was worried about
the firm being audited.

But no. Embezzlement?
Alistair?

You broke Mom.
She's on repeat.

Just turn her off
and back on again.

Why does she want
to strangle you?
I took her client--

our client--
to a hackers' lair.

A lair?

A nest of hackers.
Okay.

A digital hive, if you will.
Oh, sure.

And you antagonized the
Assistant U.S. Attorney.

Oh, I'm the one who antagonized
your college nemesis?

What? Mom,
you have a nemesis?

How did you bury that lede?
Who is it?

TODD: Some
sorority sister, Natalie,

who literally beats Mom at...

Absolutely everything.

Whenever I'm around her,

I feel like

an insecure 20-year-old
all over again.

Maybe it is my destiny
to lose to Natalie forever.
(Allison snickers)

What is so funny?
I'm just having

a hard time picturing you
as 20, or insecure, or losing.

No, it's kind of endearing.
Dimension-bending.

Once, in college,
my sorority threw

a homecoming hall
decorating contest.
That's a thing?

And I created

an absolute masterpiece.

It was the
Taj Mahal

created entirely from balloons,

and I was a shoo-in
for the prize.

It was a $50 dollar
gift certificate from The Gap.

Uh-huh.

But the night
before the judging,

somebody popped
all of my balloons.

(gasps)
Yes.

No.
All 100 of them.

And Natalie won.

And I knew it was her.

But I could never,
never figure out

how she-she popped
all of those balloons

without waking anybody up.

Oh, my God. Pizza.

Todd!
What is wrong with you?

I am right in the middle of...
I was enjoying
listening to that.

No, no, no, no, no.
I know where Ava is.

Okay, all right.
This is her favorite place.

Maybe someone will know
where she is here.

Well, she will be halfway
to Mexico

before we ever get in.

I know, I know.
Um... Oh, Mom!

Hmm?
You're hypoglycemic.

What? No, she's not.

Todd, I'm not feeling very well.
You'll catch up.

Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Uh, sick mom on board.

Can you just...
(weakly) Sorry.

Excuse us. This woman is
apparently hypoglycemic.

Yeah. Yeah.
Woozy. Woozy.

I actually wouldn't
recommend pizza for that.

It's a blood
sugar thing.
Hey, no cutting.

This woman is dying.

(Margaret groans)
Do you want her blood
on your hands?

We just have to get
her some greasy pizza

to cure her medical ailments.
Here, Mama.

Thank you so much.
I'm a doctor.

Okay? I am.
I'm a medical professional.

I genuinely am.

Woozy. Woozy.
Sorry. Thank you.

I cannot believe
this is my life.

Yeah, well,
welcome to the dark side.

Woozy. Oh...

Good evening.

Todd, picture.
Is there any chance

that you have seen
this young lady?

Yeah, no. Sorry, we get
a lot of folks in here...

I know that girl.
Yeah?

Yeah. I've delivered
to her a bunch.

Man, someone needs
to teach that kid

the meaning of
the word "tip".

Okay, do you happen to know
where you might have

delivered to this person?

It would be hard to forget.

MARGARET: That's the address.
TODD: A cemetery?

This can't be it.

Can it?

Okay, so Ava's a vampire?

Apparently, yes.
Now everything makes sense.

You know, wait, Todd.
What?

Uh, I think I'm
gonna go by myself.
What?

No, I need to
have a little

attorney-client
conversation.

A little heart-to-heart
with Ava.

I'll be right back.

TODD:
Great, yeah, sure.

Make me babysit her all week,
and then you go in

on the one-yard line.

For the record,
Mom's comfort with

walking into a graveyard
at night is disturbing.

Yeah, I know.

Wait, have you eaten
that entire pizza?

Was some of it supposed
to be for you?

Well, it wasn't all
supposed to be for you.

God, you're so... extra.

I'm sorry, I'm not used to
being on your stakeouts,

so I just...
Inhaled everyone's dinner?

Yeah, got it.
Okay.

(sighs)

when's the last time
you were in a cemetery?

Dad.

Yeah. Me, too.

(exhales sharply)

You know, I was just
thinking about, um,

about how I used to be
such a pain.

Used to be?
Ha, ha, ha.

No, I'm babysitting Ava,

and she's just
all over the place.

And I-I really wanted
to just, you know,

ground her a few times,

like Dad did to me
all the time.
Yeah.

Used to make me so mad.

And then, when he was gone...

...it felt like, um,

someone took...

the guardrails down,

and I was just, like,
swerving all over the place.

That is exactly how
I feel these days.

Hey.

You're grounded.

Thank you.

Ava?

I'm sorry.

I know I shouldn't
have left before.

It's just my stupid
hacking hurts everyone.

You're being
too hard on yourself.

Why did you pick me
to represent you?

Because I saw
how you helped Todd

when he was in trouble.

'Cause you're
a good lawyer

and a good mom.

And you thought...

maybe I could watch out for you
the same way?

My mom,

she was really great.

I'm sure she was.

It was just
the two of us.

She had to
work a lot.

I just wanted to spend
more time with her,

so I hacked her schedule
so she could move

from the primate house
to the buffalo paddock.

The hours
were better.

Your mom worked at the zoo?

Yeah. I'm sorry
I lied before.

She was an
animal caretaker.

So when she started
working with the buffaloes,

she got sick.

Cancer.

The doctors said it was because
she smoked as a teenager,

but it wasn't lung cancer.

And so you-you started hacking,
looking for answers,

and that led you
to the Department of Defense.

(sighs)

Before she died,
she gave me this,

to remember her by.

She wore it all the time.

If I hadn't hacked
her schedule,

she'd still be alive.
Ava.

Chemicals killed
your mother, not you.

This is not your fault.

But you said she...

she wore this ring
all the time.

Yeah. Why?

Because someone very clever
once told me that

the first rule of hacking is

everything leaves a trace.

I got an alert. The results are
in on Ava's mom's ring.

By all means,
knocking is optional.

I just got an alert.
The results are in on Ava's...

Oh, the gang's all here.
I haven't opened it yet.

Why not?
Why not?

Excuse me.
Okay.

There's the attachment.
(Margaret gasps)

There. Results.
Wait.

MARGARET: Oh.
Positive for Dioxin.

Ava was right. This is
the proof that we need.

Ha!
Ah. That is louder
than you think.

Sorry. Do you know
what this means?
Hmm?

Natalie's reign of terror
is finally over.

Now, every time
she looks at the stain

on her perfect win record,
she'll think of me.

And Ava goes free.
Yes.

At least until she decides
to hack the White House.

Oh.
Or an aircraft carrier.

Come on, you really think
she's just going to stop?

Also, where's she
gonna live?

Well, it's not like we're
sending her out on her own.

She'll have, um...

She'll have...

She'll have no supervision.

No parents, no rules,

no idea how to make
her way in the world.

Let's just high-five again.

What's that?

That, my dear Natalie,
is your deflated balloon.

(chuckles) I don't
have time for this.

That ring belonged
to Linda Morgan,

an animal caregiver
at the Laurelhurst Zoo,

and Ava's mother.

She died two years ago
of cancer.

When you test the ring,
you'll find that it's covered

in the same chemicals
found in Agent Orange.

Even if it was true,
the amounts would be tiny.

A rounding error.
Who knows where that came from?

We also discovered
that Linda's belongings

were shipped to her brother
in Arizona after she died,

including her zoo gear.

Boots, gloves.

We've sent them out
for testing,

and we both know
what they'll find.

You've lost, Natalie.

Cheating won't help you
this time.

If you're so certain,

why are we even having
this conversation?

(chuckles) Because today
is your lucky day.

I am offering you a draw.

First, I want the DOD
to scour the zoo

to ensure that there are
no traces of the chemicals left.

And I want
a plea deal for Ava.

You'll reduce the charges
to a misdemeanor,

unauthorized use
of a computer.

You've got to be kidding.

And I want the DOD to hire Ava

to do what she does best.

Hack into the most sophisticated
websites on the planet.

She'll make a much better
ally than enemy.

Why would I do any of this?

I'd rather just take the loss.

Because you know
what's on those files.

Not to mention that my...
my son-in-law works

for the Portland Sentinel,
and I just know they'd love

a first look at this story.

"Chemicals Found
at the Zoo."

"Child Left Orphaned."

Which side of this
do you want to be on?

Fine. You have a deal.

On one more condition.

You will tell me how you
popped all of those balloons

without making a noise.

You just spray a little WD-40
on the knot.

The plastic dissolves slowly,
and the air leaks out.

(chuckles)

This was fun.
We should do it again.

Anytime, anyplace.

(quietly):
Yes!

Hey, is that the number one
original Harry Styles fan?

So I guess I'm gonna be
working for the Feds

in the antihacking department
for at least two years.

I heard. How do you feel
about that?

I've never had
a regular job or anything.

Or coworkers.

Who knows,
I'll probably hack the place

and blow the whole deal up.

Well, that's not exactly
what I wanted to hear,

but I'm gonna focus on
the "regular job" part

there at the top.

Your mom had enough
to get the charges dropped.

I guess I'm just wondering
why she didn't.

Well, because-- and I can't
believe I'm saying this--

but sometimes rules help.

I mean, yeah, sure,
waking up to an alarm clock

is the worst,

but people having
expectations for you,

it's not so bad.
Oh...

One last job before
I go full government

drone person on you.

You said this was
important, right?
What? Yes.

You're welcome.

What?

TODD:
How did you get this?
Ivan the Terrible.

Wow, I am such a fan.

I can't believe you're
going to be on our team.
Really?

And we got the best gear.
You're gonna love it.

Hey, Ivan.

You're not so terrible.

Bye, Todd.

Thank you.

This is proof from
Western Gateway Bank

that Alistair Song
illegally transferred money

from our clients'
trust accounts into his own.

He is spending client funds.

This is outrageous.

You and your son
are behind this.

After everything I did for you.

Where's your loyalty?

You stole from our clients,
Alistair.

My loyalty lies with them.

I recommend reporting
Alistair's ethics violations,

and that he be stripped of
his partnership from this firm.

All those in favor.

He was a discredit
to this firm.

Now that he's gone,
we can replace him

with someone more ethical
and talented.

Keep up the good work, Wright.

(chuckles)

A crypto coin
for your thoughts.

Oh, I'm thinking about the
corners that we're turning...

and what's around them.

Yeah. We did
pretty good, huh?

We did great.

You know, when your
name goes up there,

it'll be my name, too.

I basically own
this place now.

Oh, is that right?
Uh-huh. No, I'm Wright.

I am Wright.
I am Margaret Wright.
No, I'm Todd Wright.

I know that.
I am the first Wright.

Mm, I don't know about that.
I am the eldest Wright.

TODD: Pretty sure that's wrong.
MARGARET: Who would be
the first Wright

if it's not me,
the first Wright?
TODD: Ebenezer Wright.

MARGARET: No, you're
wrong. I'm Wright.

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