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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:21,916 --> 00:00:22,916 Okay, good. 2 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,168 Can you hear the waves? 3 00:00:24,332 --> 00:00:25,916 Can you hear the waves? 4 00:00:26,084 --> 00:00:27,752 Can you hear the breeze? 5 00:00:28,084 --> 00:00:29,916 You're at the sea. It's all good. 6 00:00:30,084 --> 00:00:33,124 Everything's calm. You can feel the breeze. 7 00:00:33,292 --> 00:00:35,168 That's good, that's good. 8 00:00:35,332 --> 00:00:38,376 The waves are coming in. You're at the beach. 9 00:00:38,624 --> 00:00:40,668 Everything's beautiful. 10 00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,000 Relax. 11 00:00:45,708 --> 00:00:48,376 You know there are whales older than Moby Dick? 12 00:00:48,708 --> 00:00:51,916 I mean older than when the book was written. 13 00:00:52,084 --> 00:00:55,668 The book was written and the whales are even older. 14 00:00:56,208 --> 00:00:57,540 Did you know that? 15 00:00:57,708 --> 00:00:59,376 - I didn't know that! - No? 16 00:00:59,540 --> 00:01:00,624 It's true. 17 00:01:02,792 --> 00:01:05,376 Okay, forget the fucking whales. 18 00:01:05,668 --> 00:01:07,540 You're... Fuck, you're... 19 00:01:08,332 --> 00:01:11,000 Okay, everybody fouls Ronaldo 20 00:01:11,252 --> 00:01:14,252 because he's the best and everyone wants to beat him. 21 00:01:14,416 --> 00:01:16,752 You're bleeding and they keep tackling, 22 00:01:17,084 --> 00:01:21,040 but you always get up again, Ira, because you're the best! 23 00:01:21,376 --> 00:01:24,040 You get tackled hard and you... 24 00:01:24,208 --> 00:01:26,540 Shut up! 25 00:01:27,584 --> 00:01:30,624 LOVE MOVIE 26 00:02:42,540 --> 00:02:47,460 (Arabic) The stars are dancing like crazy. 27 00:02:53,460 --> 00:02:56,332 You took a little too much MDMA. 28 00:02:56,584 --> 00:02:59,460 Try to relax. Everything will be okay. 29 00:03:01,376 --> 00:03:03,292 (Arabic) Relax, baby. 30 00:03:04,208 --> 00:03:05,208 Relax. 31 00:03:06,792 --> 00:03:10,708 You look like Alain Delon, and you look like Belmondo. 32 00:03:12,876 --> 00:03:15,208 No, it's the other way around, but whatever. 33 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,792 It's really beautiful. 34 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,376 It's so beautiful here. 35 00:03:41,668 --> 00:03:44,500 Aren't you a little too close to the fire? 36 00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:51,752 But your sunglasses are melting. 37 00:04:00,332 --> 00:04:02,832 I trashed a pair of sunglasses, too. 38 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,916 With mosquito spray. 39 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,540 Really? 40 00:04:08,292 --> 00:04:10,292 That's because of the DEET. 41 00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:12,832 - The what? - The DEET. 42 00:04:13,376 --> 00:04:17,668 The U.S. Army developed it to fight mosquitoes in the jungle. 43 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,960 You look so beautiful. 44 00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:34,332 How old are you again? 45 00:04:42,876 --> 00:04:44,624 Who are you anyway? 46 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,584 I'm Lenz. 47 00:04:59,084 --> 00:05:00,752 I'm Ira. 48 00:05:13,416 --> 00:05:16,376 WHO SHOT OSAMA BIN LADEN? OR: THE SUMMER OF LOVE 49 00:05:16,540 --> 00:05:20,540 Right after 9/11... really, just a few days later, 50 00:05:20,752 --> 00:05:23,332 they almost caught Osama Bin Laden. 51 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:26,208 He was hiding out in some cave in Tora Bora. 52 00:05:26,376 --> 00:05:28,332 The Navy SEALS had him surrounded. 53 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:32,168 But Osama managed to escape at the very last minute. 54 00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:35,460 Almost never to be seen again. 55 00:05:52,376 --> 00:05:54,624 - What are you doing? - I have to go. 56 00:05:55,124 --> 00:05:56,584 I've gotta work. 57 00:05:57,252 --> 00:06:00,332 - Where are you gonna work right now? - In Peshawar. 58 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,252 Sure, Peshawar. Of all places? 59 00:06:03,416 --> 00:06:07,000 - It's complicated. - Come on, tell me. 60 00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:09,168 I do computer stuff. 61 00:06:10,876 --> 00:06:12,540 Are you really leaving? 62 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,292 - Are you a hacker? - No! 63 00:06:20,208 --> 00:06:21,960 Then what's that? 64 00:06:23,084 --> 00:06:24,792 A bulletproof vest. 65 00:06:26,832 --> 00:06:28,584 - Put it on. - Then I can go? 66 00:06:28,752 --> 00:06:29,792 Yup. 67 00:06:43,168 --> 00:06:44,876 Come here. 68 00:06:49,252 --> 00:06:50,708 I have to go. 69 00:06:51,124 --> 00:06:52,960 Where do you want to go? 70 00:06:54,668 --> 00:06:56,084 Peshawar! 71 00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:58,792 What will you do there? 72 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,960 I install encrypted VPN devices. 73 00:07:10,792 --> 00:07:12,376 (Persian) I love you. 74 00:07:23,084 --> 00:07:24,332 Really? 75 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,668 - Lenzi. - Dad, what's up? 76 00:09:43,832 --> 00:09:47,168 Why don't you pick up on a Monday at 1pm? 77 00:09:47,332 --> 00:09:50,252 I'm busy with that board meeting. 78 00:09:50,416 --> 00:09:52,624 Oh, right. How could I forget? 79 00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:55,876 - You're really busy, aren't you? - Totally. 80 00:09:56,332 --> 00:09:58,708 I'll call your secretary next time. 81 00:09:58,876 --> 00:10:01,252 Good idea. I'm super busy. 82 00:10:01,540 --> 00:10:05,124 Yeah, wow! So, you need money? 83 00:10:05,292 --> 00:10:07,832 - Come on, Dad. - Okay. Have a nice Monday. 84 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,124 - Talk to you next week. - I'll call you. Bye. 85 00:10:10,292 --> 00:10:11,540 Bye. 86 00:10:16,792 --> 00:10:19,460 I really thought it could go on forever. 87 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:24,252 Kreuzberg, early May, early 30s... It's Monday and I can do what I want. 88 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:27,208 Even nothing at all. 89 00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:29,168 Except there was Ira. 90 00:10:29,332 --> 00:10:32,208 In Peshawar. Seriously, Peshawar! 91 00:10:34,832 --> 00:10:38,332 Ira, the wrathful one. That's what it means in Latin. 92 00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:41,708 What? 93 00:10:41,876 --> 00:10:43,960 - The suitcase? - Yes. 94 00:10:48,292 --> 00:10:50,168 - We're together. - Yup. 95 00:10:51,124 --> 00:10:53,332 For the next wave. 96 00:10:54,252 --> 00:10:57,708 - We're just starting out. - We still have rose-coloured glasses on. 97 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,252 "Rose-coloured glasses!" 98 00:11:05,416 --> 00:11:08,292 - What's there to laugh about? - You, lesbo. 99 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:11,040 - Chill. - Okay, bunny. Hop off home! 100 00:11:11,252 --> 00:11:14,668 "Hop off?" I'll hop you right in the face! 101 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,960 What the hell was that? 102 00:11:55,168 --> 00:11:57,292 Oh, another goal! 103 00:12:16,832 --> 00:12:18,792 Hey, Dad. What's up? 104 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,460 You're at the office, right? 105 00:12:21,624 --> 00:12:23,792 Yup. Board meeting, where else? 106 00:12:31,916 --> 00:12:33,500 Straight ahead. 107 00:12:33,668 --> 00:12:36,916 A little left. Keep going straight. 108 00:12:38,292 --> 00:12:40,752 I'll tell you when. Straight ahead. 109 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,208 Funny, huh? 110 00:12:57,916 --> 00:13:00,832 What can I say? It was beautiful. 111 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,460 Ira was always away, but not for long. 112 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:07,624 And it was summer, and it could have gone on forever. 113 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:12,124 - You know when I have to work, right? - How should I know? 114 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,168 - It's always early! - We were sleeping! 115 00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:18,376 - You've got my socks on again! - Leave me alone. Just go! 116 00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:20,792 - Fuck you! - Fuck yourself! Just go! 117 00:13:57,124 --> 00:13:58,960 There you are! 118 00:14:05,792 --> 00:14:08,500 - Tastes like toilet cleaner! - It's lime-pear. 119 00:14:08,668 --> 00:14:12,124 - Your mail. You coming home some time? - Yes, sure. 120 00:14:12,292 --> 00:14:16,084 - Where's your patient? - It's "client." Mr. Rothe. 121 00:14:16,416 --> 00:14:18,832 He's an artist. It's nothing serious. 122 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,916 Couldn't finish his masterpiece. Kept painting over it. 123 00:14:22,124 --> 00:14:23,752 And then... Bang! 124 00:14:23,916 --> 00:14:26,540 Nervous breakdown, maybe psychosis. 125 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,168 He'll be fine. This comforts him. 126 00:14:30,292 --> 00:14:33,084 Representational stuff. Three dimensional. 127 00:14:33,792 --> 00:14:36,540 Sort of like a reboot. Mr. Rothe? 128 00:14:37,792 --> 00:14:40,040 We're here if you need anything. 129 00:14:40,208 --> 00:14:41,292 Hello. 130 00:14:41,708 --> 00:14:43,168 Good to know. 131 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:44,960 Good to know. 132 00:14:45,668 --> 00:14:48,376 So, how's your mildly unstable girlfriend? 133 00:14:48,708 --> 00:14:50,540 Excuse me? "Unstable"? 134 00:14:55,208 --> 00:14:58,624 - Isn't she with special forces? - No, Foreign Legion. 135 00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:02,168 - Or the secret service? - Yeah, Doctors Without Borders, CIA... 136 00:15:02,624 --> 00:15:05,292 I'm telling you, she's secret service. 137 00:15:06,168 --> 00:15:10,416 - No, she's in IT. She installs... - "Doctors Without Borders" sounds hot. 138 00:15:10,584 --> 00:15:12,960 Come on! She's gone, and that sucks. 139 00:15:14,668 --> 00:15:16,332 You love her! 140 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:19,376 "Love? You love her?" You yokel! 141 00:15:20,376 --> 00:15:21,584 Mr. Rothe! 142 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,376 Easy does it, Mr. Rothe. 143 00:15:35,752 --> 00:15:36,752 Kenn? 144 00:15:37,624 --> 00:15:38,624 Kenn? 145 00:15:39,332 --> 00:15:41,124 Can I borrow your car? 146 00:15:43,584 --> 00:15:46,040 ...claimed responsibility for the attack. 147 00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:49,708 Just this January a suicide bomber in Quetta 148 00:15:49,876 --> 00:15:53,832 blew himself up in front of a clinic, killing 15 people. 149 00:16:22,668 --> 00:16:24,832 - It's so cute! - What? 150 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,792 - That you picked me up! - Of course! Get in! 151 00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:41,916 Where were you? 152 00:16:42,124 --> 00:16:43,540 Getting my bags. 153 00:16:43,708 --> 00:16:45,084 It took that long? 154 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,040 Were you worried? 155 00:16:48,332 --> 00:16:51,292 - You were worried! - We're leaving! 156 00:16:51,624 --> 00:16:54,168 - Because of terrorism? - Leave me alone! 157 00:16:57,624 --> 00:17:00,332 - I waited for ages. - Careful! Watch out! 158 00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:02,500 I'm a really good driver. 159 00:17:08,540 --> 00:17:11,832 I told you, it's an office job. I sit in front of a computer. 160 00:17:12,084 --> 00:17:16,540 Last week I had to fix the phone of the Goethe-Institut director in Kabul 161 00:17:16,792 --> 00:17:19,332 so she could call her sweetie in Biberach. 162 00:17:20,124 --> 00:17:23,584 - VPN encrypted? - Of course VPN encrypted. 163 00:17:28,376 --> 00:17:29,624 It's not dangerous. 164 00:17:30,376 --> 00:17:33,876 Yeah, that Lion of Pan-thingy looks after you, right? 165 00:17:34,208 --> 00:17:35,668 Huh? Who? 166 00:17:35,832 --> 00:17:40,124 That dude with those eyes and that beard, 167 00:17:40,584 --> 00:17:42,916 that chin and hat, and that nose! 168 00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:44,624 Huh? 169 00:17:44,792 --> 00:17:47,376 That hipster in the photo next to your bed! 170 00:17:49,708 --> 00:17:51,084 Shah Massoud. 171 00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:55,416 The "Lion of Panjshir." 172 00:17:55,624 --> 00:17:57,540 - Lion! - Yes, "lion." 173 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,708 How is he a lion? 174 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:01,332 Because Massoud 175 00:18:01,668 --> 00:18:04,708 defended the Panjshir Valley like a lion. 176 00:18:05,832 --> 00:18:08,624 Back then, when they attacked, 177 00:18:09,252 --> 00:18:11,792 Shah Massoud stood there like a lion, 178 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,624 like the king of the jungle, and defended the place. 179 00:18:14,792 --> 00:18:17,332 - Why are you laughing? - It's ridiculous. 180 00:18:17,668 --> 00:18:19,292 It's not ridiculous! 181 00:18:34,668 --> 00:18:37,708 - That's not really my thing. - What? 182 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,000 - No? - No. 183 00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:42,708 Okay. Well... 184 00:18:44,668 --> 00:18:47,752 - Now tell me where we're going. - No, it's a surprise. 185 00:18:48,832 --> 00:18:50,084 Fine. 186 00:18:54,084 --> 00:18:58,376 Back then, the Russians attacked Panjshir with helicopters, again and again. 187 00:18:58,540 --> 00:19:02,040 But Massoud got some bazookas and shot the helicopters down. 188 00:19:02,376 --> 00:19:05,376 Just like in Rambo III. You have to give him that. 189 00:19:05,540 --> 00:19:06,876 Massoud was a hero. 190 00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:12,168 THE LION OF BRANDENBURG OR: HOW I NEARLY BECAME A HERO 191 00:19:13,668 --> 00:19:15,292 He really worked hard. 192 00:19:15,460 --> 00:19:17,332 And he was so hated. 193 00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:20,708 They kept trying to overthrow him, or kill him. 194 00:19:20,916 --> 00:19:24,584 There were 17 attempts on his life! 195 00:19:24,832 --> 00:19:26,668 They tried to kill him! 196 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,168 But he was unflinching. 197 00:19:29,332 --> 00:19:33,376 He also had very loyal soldiers at his side. 198 00:19:34,460 --> 00:19:36,752 - Massoud is a hero. - Yeah. Wow. 199 00:19:56,208 --> 00:19:57,792 I also have a lighter. 200 00:19:58,124 --> 00:20:01,376 No, just get me some dry grass or something. 201 00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:02,752 Come on. 202 00:20:05,208 --> 00:20:06,460 No! 203 00:20:06,792 --> 00:20:08,376 Come on, go look! 204 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,708 I need something dry to build the tinder bundle with. 205 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,832 - Tinder-what? - Tinder bundle. 206 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,500 "Tinder bundle." 207 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,292 Lenz, everything's soaking wet. 208 00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:23,500 - Poplar seeds, birch bark, whatever! - Poplar seeds? 209 00:20:23,668 --> 00:20:24,876 Yes! 210 00:20:25,332 --> 00:20:27,124 Are you kidding me? 211 00:20:32,792 --> 00:20:34,584 What do they look like? 212 00:20:36,124 --> 00:20:37,792 Just look, please! 213 00:20:39,876 --> 00:20:41,460 Are you more of a... 214 00:20:42,332 --> 00:20:44,292 a gatherer or a hunter? 215 00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:46,252 I'm a boy scout. 216 00:20:47,252 --> 00:20:48,624 I see. 217 00:21:14,792 --> 00:21:16,084 Ira? 218 00:21:58,376 --> 00:21:59,416 Ira? 219 00:22:05,916 --> 00:22:08,792 - Why didn't you say something? - I was listening to music. 220 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:09,792 Fuck! 221 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,376 - Did I scare you, or what? - Yeah, of course! 222 00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:15,792 - Here, I brought you something. - What? 223 00:22:17,876 --> 00:22:20,752 Birch bark! Thanks! 224 00:22:21,252 --> 00:22:23,916 You made a real fire, little boy scout. 225 00:22:24,460 --> 00:22:25,752 Nice, huh? 226 00:22:28,084 --> 00:22:32,084 - Must have been hard with the wet grass. - Damn right it was. 227 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,500 - Say something. - I'm sorry. 228 00:22:47,668 --> 00:22:50,792 - You were scared the whole time? - I wasn't scared. 229 00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,040 - No? - No, it's not that. 230 00:22:53,584 --> 00:22:56,792 - I just didn't know where you were. - Walking. 231 00:23:00,376 --> 00:23:02,960 It'll keep us warm the whole night. 232 00:23:46,168 --> 00:23:48,000 It is a little creepy. 233 00:23:50,124 --> 00:23:52,792 (Persian) I will protect you, my angel. 234 00:23:55,252 --> 00:23:56,416 Really? 235 00:23:56,584 --> 00:23:57,916 That's cute. 236 00:23:58,168 --> 00:23:59,708 From who? 237 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:03,416 They say wolves have returned to Brandenburg. 238 00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:44,624 Aren't you afraid in Afghanistan? In those... 239 00:24:45,376 --> 00:24:47,752 - crisis zones? - Sometimes, yeah. 240 00:24:49,124 --> 00:24:50,540 What do your parents say? 241 00:24:50,876 --> 00:24:53,168 You do realize I'm an adult, right? 242 00:24:53,332 --> 00:24:55,040 Yeah, but still. 243 00:24:58,332 --> 00:25:02,584 My mother doesn't really want to know. She's more of a... 244 00:25:03,208 --> 00:25:05,876 - hippie-type. - And your father? 245 00:25:06,292 --> 00:25:08,292 I don't know my birth father. 246 00:25:08,624 --> 00:25:10,960 - You don't know who your father is? - No. 247 00:25:11,124 --> 00:25:13,540 I don't think my mum knows either. 248 00:25:14,540 --> 00:25:16,416 - Really? - Yes, really. 249 00:25:17,168 --> 00:25:19,460 Probably one of the naked dudes. 250 00:25:21,540 --> 00:25:22,876 I don't get it. 251 00:25:23,208 --> 00:25:26,124 One of those guys. They all fucked around. 252 00:25:26,416 --> 00:25:30,168 - Walked around naked... - What's it like without a dad? 253 00:25:32,124 --> 00:25:33,584 No idea. 254 00:25:34,460 --> 00:25:36,416 What's it like with one? 255 00:25:37,332 --> 00:25:38,708 Great. 256 00:25:39,752 --> 00:25:41,460 - And you? - What? 257 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,584 Do you have a story like that? 258 00:25:44,752 --> 00:25:47,252 Something that traumatized you? 259 00:25:48,792 --> 00:25:50,500 Come on. Anything. 260 00:25:51,168 --> 00:25:52,668 No idea, really. 261 00:25:53,376 --> 00:25:55,460 I don't have anything like that. 262 00:25:59,752 --> 00:26:00,960 Nope. 263 00:26:01,252 --> 00:26:03,252 Once during a class trip 264 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,168 "cool Henning" took my monkey. 265 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,416 - A stuffed animal? - Yeah, my favourite. 266 00:26:10,584 --> 00:26:14,000 He kept saying: "Monkey, monkey, monkey!" 267 00:26:14,376 --> 00:26:17,124 And I... I got homesick. 268 00:26:19,832 --> 00:26:21,832 Then they had to... 269 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,876 Well, my father picked me up. 270 00:26:25,460 --> 00:26:29,540 All the others were watching. In front of everyone, four days early. 271 00:26:30,292 --> 00:26:32,168 It was so embarrassing. 272 00:26:32,332 --> 00:26:35,876 The whole time: "Monkey, monkey, monkey!" 273 00:26:37,460 --> 00:26:40,708 He always picked me up when there was a problem. 274 00:26:40,876 --> 00:26:43,124 Your dad really loves you, huh? 275 00:26:43,668 --> 00:26:45,876 Yeah, he's bananas about me. 276 00:26:51,624 --> 00:26:53,708 Say "VPN encrypted" again. 277 00:26:59,416 --> 00:27:01,332 VPN encrypted. 278 00:27:06,584 --> 00:27:07,752 V- 279 00:27:08,708 --> 00:27:10,416 P-N- 280 00:27:10,708 --> 00:27:12,416 encrypted. 281 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,708 - I told you I was a good driver. - Oh, yeah? 282 00:27:42,084 --> 00:27:44,168 You just have to go really fast. 283 00:27:44,624 --> 00:27:46,000 - Never slow down. - Yeah. 284 00:27:46,168 --> 00:27:48,460 Don't stop. Always downshift. 285 00:27:49,832 --> 00:27:52,252 - Where are we? - I have no idea. 286 00:27:52,416 --> 00:27:54,332 - Oh shit! - Lenz! 287 00:27:54,916 --> 00:27:57,792 Don't slow down! Faster! Hit the gas! 288 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,040 - Did you see how I did that? - Yeah! 289 00:28:07,252 --> 00:28:09,208 Silky smooth shifting! 290 00:28:09,500 --> 00:28:11,332 - So, left or right? - Right. 291 00:29:08,876 --> 00:29:10,460 I love you! 292 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,916 - Do you want to have kids? - Yeah, of course. 293 00:29:23,208 --> 00:29:26,584 I'm almost 70, you know? Maybe it's time to think about... 294 00:29:26,752 --> 00:29:28,500 having some. 295 00:29:28,792 --> 00:29:30,252 Excuse me? What? 296 00:29:35,252 --> 00:29:37,752 Well it's definitely too early for me. 297 00:29:45,752 --> 00:29:47,832 I'm not getting any younger. 298 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,668 I'm not ready. There's so much I want to do. 299 00:29:55,832 --> 00:29:57,252 Yeah? Like what? 300 00:29:57,416 --> 00:30:00,416 Do a pilgrimage? Go back to school? 301 00:30:00,584 --> 00:30:01,752 No idea! 302 00:30:02,084 --> 00:30:05,416 I can imagine having kids someday, but not now! 303 00:30:05,876 --> 00:30:09,292 More like Dad. He was retired and had time for me. 304 00:30:09,460 --> 00:30:11,792 You have tons of time, too. 305 00:30:14,124 --> 00:30:15,832 That's different. 306 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,876 - How is it any different? - Okay, but... 307 00:30:20,792 --> 00:30:23,124 - Fuck you. - Ira, come on. 308 00:31:08,376 --> 00:31:11,040 Remember that airplane that disappeared? 309 00:31:12,124 --> 00:31:14,124 From Malaysian Airlines? 310 00:31:16,832 --> 00:31:18,540 One theory is 311 00:31:19,500 --> 00:31:22,792 that everyone on board passed out due to a cabin pressure drop. 312 00:31:23,252 --> 00:31:27,252 And you feel like the people on that fucking plane or what? 313 00:31:27,708 --> 00:31:31,040 And this "fucking plane" kept flying on autopilot. 314 00:31:31,208 --> 00:31:33,752 - You know what I mean? - Of course I do! 315 00:31:33,916 --> 00:31:36,708 - I'm not retarded! - Imagine if someone woke up. 316 00:31:36,876 --> 00:31:39,752 Come up front, before I punch you in the face. 317 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,124 Airplanes always fly from way point to way point 318 00:31:51,292 --> 00:31:55,332 and they have bizarre names like MEKAR, VAMPI, or NILAM. 319 00:31:55,584 --> 00:32:00,668 Somewhere between MEKAR and NILAM, MH370 vanished from the radar. 320 00:32:01,084 --> 00:32:05,084 But that's not where it crashed. They searched. It wasn't there. 321 00:32:05,460 --> 00:32:08,792 It's possible that the pilot shut off the transponder 322 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,792 because he wanted to disappear or god knows why. 323 00:32:12,124 --> 00:32:16,124 MH 370 OR: HOW I TRIED TO DISAPPEAR 324 00:32:24,500 --> 00:32:25,960 Look, Ira. 325 00:32:27,208 --> 00:32:29,752 I'm going home. I'm out of clothes. 326 00:32:30,208 --> 00:32:32,668 What do you mean, you're out of clothes? 327 00:32:33,168 --> 00:32:35,668 - What a lame excuse. - What? I... 328 00:32:35,832 --> 00:32:38,208 You live at my place. You have stuff there. 329 00:32:38,540 --> 00:32:40,124 I know, but I... 330 00:32:40,584 --> 00:32:42,460 - You poor thing. - What? 331 00:32:42,624 --> 00:32:45,708 Lenzi ran out of clothes! Poor little guy. 332 00:32:45,876 --> 00:32:48,876 Did I catch you off guard? It's awful, right? 333 00:32:49,376 --> 00:32:50,708 I'm just saying... 334 00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:54,208 Whatever! It's bullshit! "I've got nothing to wear." 335 00:32:54,376 --> 00:32:56,292 - What the fuck? - Ira... 336 00:32:56,460 --> 00:32:59,792 What? I'm not sticking you with a kid. It was just a question. 337 00:33:00,124 --> 00:33:03,084 A shitty question! I hardly know you. 338 00:33:04,460 --> 00:33:05,752 What? 339 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,084 Yeah! 340 00:33:14,500 --> 00:33:17,124 - I need the car keys. The keys! - What? 341 00:33:23,876 --> 00:33:25,332 Now I get it! 342 00:33:25,500 --> 00:33:27,416 Lenzi got homesick. 343 00:33:27,792 --> 00:33:30,252 Should Daddy come and pick you up? 344 00:33:30,624 --> 00:33:32,624 You can be so ugly. 345 00:33:36,292 --> 00:33:39,000 Yeah, I can. Asshole. 346 00:33:43,708 --> 00:33:45,040 The keys! 347 00:34:35,168 --> 00:34:36,752 Tourist fuck! 348 00:35:06,540 --> 00:35:08,292 What are you doing here? 349 00:35:08,460 --> 00:35:10,376 What do you mean? I live here. 350 00:35:10,708 --> 00:35:13,624 I rented out your room. I thought you were gone. 351 00:35:13,792 --> 00:35:16,084 What? To the Spice Girls, or what? 352 00:35:16,416 --> 00:35:20,876 Yeah. You were always at Ira's. I put it online. 800 bucks a week! 353 00:35:21,752 --> 00:35:24,752 - 800? - Yeah, they'll pay anything. 354 00:35:27,584 --> 00:35:29,960 Right. Just sleep on the sofa, okay? 355 00:35:30,124 --> 00:35:33,292 And the Spice Girls are Britain. 356 00:35:33,708 --> 00:35:35,416 British. 357 00:35:35,584 --> 00:35:36,584 Brits. 358 00:35:37,292 --> 00:35:40,084 Whatever. We're going sightseeing. Are you in? 359 00:35:41,668 --> 00:35:43,416 I was mad, okay? 360 00:35:43,752 --> 00:35:46,540 Ira was like World War II. Only worse. 361 00:35:46,708 --> 00:35:49,708 I love Ira. I even said it! And what does she do? 362 00:35:49,876 --> 00:35:52,124 She ruins it! Kids? Yeah right! 363 00:35:52,376 --> 00:35:55,668 We might as well move to East Germany or the suburbs! 364 00:35:55,832 --> 00:35:56,916 No way! 365 00:36:24,752 --> 00:36:28,084 7,000 soldiers are buried there. Russians ones. 366 00:36:28,416 --> 00:36:31,292 It feels like a park for BBQs or skateboarding. 367 00:36:31,460 --> 00:36:34,500 But no, it's a mass grave! 368 00:36:43,624 --> 00:36:48,792 The total GDP is 2.5 trillion! And customer spending... 369 00:36:49,208 --> 00:36:52,792 - CR7 has 120 million Facebook followers. - Who? What? 370 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,208 Cristiano Ronaldo. That's crazy! 371 00:36:55,376 --> 00:36:57,332 So 2.5 million... 372 00:36:57,500 --> 00:37:00,624 No. 2.5 trillion gross national product. 373 00:37:01,124 --> 00:37:02,332 And... 374 00:37:02,500 --> 00:37:05,668 consumer spending is 1.8 trillion euros! 375 00:37:05,832 --> 00:37:07,416 - Yes! - Apostle Paul said: 376 00:37:07,752 --> 00:37:10,624 "He who does not work, does not eat." 377 00:37:12,332 --> 00:37:14,876 We don't work for ourselves anymore. 378 00:37:15,376 --> 00:37:18,832 We work for others. That's consumer society. 379 00:37:20,792 --> 00:37:26,332 The collision of the cruise ship Costa Concordia off Giglio Island 380 00:37:26,500 --> 00:37:29,752 resulted in a total of 32 fatalities, 381 00:37:29,916 --> 00:37:31,668 12 of whom were German. 382 00:37:31,832 --> 00:37:36,460 Radio transmissions between Captain Francesco Schettino 383 00:37:36,792 --> 00:37:39,832 and the port master revealed 384 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:44,040 that the captain immediately disembarked, leaving the passengers to their fate. 385 00:37:44,500 --> 00:37:47,540 Schettino has been turned over to the authorities... 386 00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:52,416 So, did everything work out with your secret agent? 387 00:37:54,332 --> 00:37:55,332 Yup. 388 00:37:57,916 --> 00:38:01,124 I like Ira. Even if she's a bit unstable. 389 00:38:01,624 --> 00:38:02,916 Dude, she wants kids! 390 00:38:03,252 --> 00:38:04,460 That's life. 391 00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:08,000 What? I'm not as old as you! 392 00:38:08,376 --> 00:38:11,752 You're only three years younger, and Lilly is nine! 393 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,584 Quit slurring! 394 00:38:13,752 --> 00:38:17,584 You had her when you were 14 and now you're separated. Wow! 395 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,792 But I get along great with her mother. 396 00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:42,460 It's my daughter's. 397 00:38:45,752 --> 00:38:47,000 Why not? 398 00:38:48,332 --> 00:38:50,584 Here, I've got it! Check this out. 399 00:38:50,792 --> 00:38:52,668 Herbert Grönemeyer. Best hit ever. 400 00:38:56,332 --> 00:38:58,376 Men take you in their arms 401 00:38:58,708 --> 00:39:00,752 Men give security 402 00:39:01,668 --> 00:39:03,376 Men cry in secret 403 00:39:03,624 --> 00:39:05,960 Men need a lot of tenderness 404 00:39:06,252 --> 00:39:09,376 Men are so sensitive 405 00:39:11,208 --> 00:39:14,792 Men are simply irreplaceable 406 00:39:16,752 --> 00:39:18,040 Men buy women 407 00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,332 Men are always under pressure 408 00:39:21,916 --> 00:39:23,668 Men flirt like crazy 409 00:39:24,124 --> 00:39:26,540 Men lie on the telephone 410 00:39:26,708 --> 00:39:29,416 Men are always prepared 411 00:39:31,752 --> 00:39:35,376 Men corrupt with their money and coolness 412 00:39:36,124 --> 00:39:39,540 Men have it hard but take it easy 413 00:39:41,168 --> 00:39:44,668 A hard shell but soft on the inside 414 00:39:46,208 --> 00:39:49,752 Bred to be a man even as a child... 415 00:40:06,208 --> 00:40:10,376 (Italian) Oh, what a relief! 416 00:40:12,332 --> 00:40:17,584 We salute the island, and then... 417 00:40:28,540 --> 00:40:30,124 Don't be an idiot! 418 00:40:30,292 --> 00:40:32,624 The people on the island, of course. 419 00:40:32,832 --> 00:40:35,500 That girl out there. What do you want? 420 00:40:37,624 --> 00:40:41,084 You have to take some initiative, Lenze! 421 00:40:41,668 --> 00:40:42,708 Lenz. 422 00:40:42,876 --> 00:40:44,624 Right, Lenze, Lenze. 423 00:40:45,460 --> 00:40:48,624 You have to give women a reason to look up to you. 424 00:40:48,832 --> 00:40:50,624 "Yes, I want a child!" 425 00:40:50,792 --> 00:40:52,708 OR: "NO, I DON'T WANT A CHILD!" 426 00:40:52,876 --> 00:40:55,540 What's all this "mimimi"? 427 00:40:58,708 --> 00:40:59,960 Yeah. 428 00:41:03,708 --> 00:41:06,668 I'll tell you what it means to be a captain. 429 00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:12,252 I open a bottle of champagne, 430 00:41:13,084 --> 00:41:16,540 navigate alongside the island, wave... 431 00:41:16,792 --> 00:41:20,624 And then I bury my face in her beautiful tits! 432 00:41:27,168 --> 00:41:29,876 That's love. And we are men. 433 00:41:35,792 --> 00:41:39,416 THE CAPITANO OR: 60,000 TONS OF GUILT 434 00:41:39,584 --> 00:41:43,668 It was the night Captain Schettino sank the Costa Concordia. 435 00:41:44,376 --> 00:41:48,416 And they really did warn the Capitano: "Don't go too close to shore." 436 00:41:48,624 --> 00:41:53,208 But no. Big show-off, hard to starboard... And bang! Ship ran aground. 437 00:41:53,584 --> 00:41:57,084 Then he claimed he "accidentally" got into the lifeboat 438 00:41:57,292 --> 00:41:59,292 and couldn't get back on board. 439 00:41:59,460 --> 00:42:01,668 Yeah, right. As if! 440 00:42:01,832 --> 00:42:07,168 (Italian) Go back on board! Why did you abandon ship? 441 00:42:07,540 --> 00:42:12,252 I am in command now. Get back on board. Confirm! 442 00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:23,252 (Italian) Get on board, idiot. 443 00:42:25,416 --> 00:42:27,752 (Italian) Commander, please. 444 00:42:28,252 --> 00:42:29,540 No "please!" 445 00:42:30,500 --> 00:42:33,292 Get back on board! 446 00:42:33,876 --> 00:42:36,624 Confirm that you are getting back on board. 447 00:42:37,292 --> 00:42:40,040 I'm here on the lifeboat. 448 00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:43,332 What are you doing there, Captain? 449 00:42:46,540 --> 00:42:48,376 Speak louder. 450 00:42:49,292 --> 00:42:53,624 Are you refusing to get back on board? 451 00:42:54,124 --> 00:42:57,292 You must understand. It's dark and I can't see. 452 00:42:58,376 --> 00:42:59,584 So? 453 00:42:59,832 --> 00:43:02,460 Do you want to go back home, Schettino? 454 00:43:03,208 --> 00:43:04,668 In the dark! 455 00:43:05,208 --> 00:43:08,332 Do you want to go back home? 456 00:43:45,252 --> 00:43:46,416 Lenz? 457 00:43:46,876 --> 00:43:47,876 Lenz? 458 00:43:49,916 --> 00:43:52,040 Come on, Lenz, please. 459 00:43:53,624 --> 00:43:55,168 In the kid's room! 460 00:43:56,416 --> 00:43:57,624 Wake up. 461 00:43:57,792 --> 00:43:59,708 Lenz, get up, please. 462 00:44:02,708 --> 00:44:04,708 Lenz, please get up. Come on. 463 00:44:04,876 --> 00:44:07,584 Come on, we're late. We have to go. 464 00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:16,208 Lenz. 465 00:44:16,584 --> 00:44:18,960 - You have to get up. - No way. I can't. 466 00:44:19,124 --> 00:44:21,752 Imagine her reaction if we don't show up. 467 00:44:22,332 --> 00:44:26,000 - Lilly's been rehearsing forever. - I don't want to. 468 00:44:26,624 --> 00:44:29,084 - You promised her. - But I don't want to! 469 00:44:29,792 --> 00:44:33,124 Yeah, well, wanting is so 90's. We're late, come on. 470 00:44:46,668 --> 00:44:48,208 Where are my keys? 471 00:44:57,084 --> 00:44:58,584 Lenz, move it! 472 00:45:00,752 --> 00:45:04,752 Look how merry they are 473 00:45:05,332 --> 00:45:09,124 Flitting around so mirthfully 474 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:14,040 Blackbird, thrush, finch and starling 475 00:45:14,584 --> 00:45:18,708 All the birds so darling 476 00:45:19,208 --> 00:45:23,416 Wishing you a cheerful year 477 00:45:23,792 --> 00:45:28,124 Full of glee and blessings 478 00:45:28,792 --> 00:45:32,708 The message they bring us 479 00:45:33,124 --> 00:45:36,876 We take to heart 480 00:45:37,500 --> 00:45:41,252 We all want to be merry 481 00:45:41,668 --> 00:45:45,624 As merry as those tiny birds 482 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:50,124 Here and there in fields and dales 483 00:45:50,500 --> 00:45:55,252 Singing and dancing playfully 484 00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,084 Look at our little girl! 485 00:45:58,332 --> 00:46:00,208 She looks just like you. 486 00:46:13,376 --> 00:46:15,208 It's the middle of August 487 00:46:15,376 --> 00:46:18,000 and they're singing "The Birds Have Come Again"? 488 00:46:18,168 --> 00:46:20,084 That's a spring song. 489 00:46:20,252 --> 00:46:24,040 It was scheduled for Easter, but they weren't ready yet. 490 00:47:03,876 --> 00:47:06,668 - You need money, Lenzi? - Come on, Dad. 491 00:47:07,668 --> 00:47:09,960 Your brother flew halfway round the world. 492 00:47:10,292 --> 00:47:13,416 I thought he'd come back with a hot-blooded Latina. 493 00:47:14,752 --> 00:47:16,792 You know the kind... 494 00:47:17,376 --> 00:47:18,916 Fiery! 495 00:47:19,332 --> 00:47:22,960 With a fantastic figure, and a head full of curls! 496 00:47:23,708 --> 00:47:25,040 Your brother! 497 00:47:25,208 --> 00:47:28,540 With his paycheck, his looks, he could've done better! 498 00:47:29,668 --> 00:47:31,832 Shit! Or younger, at least! 499 00:47:32,624 --> 00:47:35,040 She's four years younger than Arndt. 500 00:47:35,584 --> 00:47:38,584 What's up with you? How's it going with the ladies? 501 00:47:39,876 --> 00:47:43,376 - Where's your old broad? - Put your seat belt on, please! 502 00:47:45,916 --> 00:47:48,000 It looks so good on you. 503 00:47:48,832 --> 00:47:50,292 Not like your baggy pants. 504 00:47:51,376 --> 00:47:54,708 - Really handsome. - Okay. Put your seat belt on, Dad. 505 00:47:56,168 --> 00:47:58,792 Look at how your brother drives! 506 00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:01,040 Yup. Now put your seat belt on. 507 00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:05,916 And it's going to be a boy! 508 00:48:06,084 --> 00:48:09,584 - That's out of anyone's control. - I would've liked a girl. 509 00:48:16,540 --> 00:48:17,876 (Spanish) Don Lenz, 510 00:48:18,084 --> 00:48:19,624 Man of Honor, 511 00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:21,252 bank director... 512 00:48:21,416 --> 00:48:24,000 And you, Signora Irene. 513 00:48:24,540 --> 00:48:25,916 Teacher... 514 00:48:26,460 --> 00:48:28,624 You, a banker. Mum, a teacher. 515 00:48:29,792 --> 00:48:32,252 She never had to work. I was against it. 516 00:48:32,584 --> 00:48:34,416 My wife doesn't need to work. 517 00:48:34,584 --> 00:48:37,500 There he goes again with his nonsense... 518 00:48:37,916 --> 00:48:40,332 Everything's as it should be... 519 00:48:40,584 --> 00:48:42,416 Be quiet you two. 520 00:48:42,584 --> 00:48:44,252 "Anonymous." 521 00:48:45,624 --> 00:48:46,624 Hello? 522 00:48:51,876 --> 00:48:52,876 Ira? 523 00:49:02,376 --> 00:49:07,376 FALL OR: HOW I WAS ALWAYS REALLY CAREFUL 524 00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:19,084 Henning tormented me forever with that monkey thing. 525 00:49:19,252 --> 00:49:22,416 It went on for weeks The whole school knew about it. 526 00:49:22,584 --> 00:49:25,000 Everybody yelling "Monkey! Monkey!" 527 00:49:25,332 --> 00:49:27,708 It just went on and on. 528 00:49:27,876 --> 00:49:32,500 But then, from one day to the next, he was suddenly super nice. 529 00:49:33,708 --> 00:49:35,000 - Did you come? - Yes. 530 00:49:35,332 --> 00:49:39,332 I thought that's how it is. You have problems, then they vanish. 531 00:49:39,792 --> 00:49:43,332 Later Henning told me my father had talked with his mother. 532 00:49:44,252 --> 00:49:45,960 Super embarrassing! 533 00:49:46,332 --> 00:49:47,540 And Ira? 534 00:49:47,708 --> 00:49:49,960 One call, and everything's fine again. 535 00:49:50,124 --> 00:49:53,000 And it'll stay that way. Everything's perfect. 536 00:49:53,332 --> 00:49:54,792 No problems. 537 00:49:55,876 --> 00:49:58,000 Oh, no! Lenz! Hey Lenz! 538 00:49:59,208 --> 00:50:01,584 I told you not to wear my socks. 539 00:50:03,416 --> 00:50:04,752 Lenz. 540 00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:12,624 Oh, not now! 541 00:50:13,292 --> 00:50:16,416 Your dad... Pick up, it's Monday. 542 00:50:16,668 --> 00:50:18,668 No, I don't want to answer. 543 00:50:19,084 --> 00:50:21,208 I want to make out. Come here. 544 00:50:23,124 --> 00:50:24,376 Where are you? 545 00:50:30,208 --> 00:50:32,124 I have to go. 546 00:50:36,416 --> 00:50:39,332 - I have to go. - You get up now, too! 547 00:50:39,500 --> 00:50:40,916 - No! - It's not fair. 548 00:50:43,876 --> 00:50:45,084 Kiss. 549 00:50:49,916 --> 00:50:51,252 Oh, Dad! 550 00:51:09,332 --> 00:51:10,876 Isn't that pretty! 551 00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:12,292 Thanks. 552 00:51:44,168 --> 00:51:46,000 You moving in with her? 553 00:51:46,168 --> 00:51:48,292 What? No, I'm not moving in! 554 00:51:48,460 --> 00:51:51,000 It's just great with her right now. 555 00:51:51,416 --> 00:51:53,916 - And no kid-talk. - What does that mean? 556 00:51:54,084 --> 00:51:57,668 My girlfriend and I stopped talking about having kids. 557 00:51:57,832 --> 00:52:01,084 - Is your girlfriend the one with the eyes? - No, that was Cara. 558 00:52:01,252 --> 00:52:03,832 - And what's with Cara? - Nothing at all. 559 00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:05,876 That was just sex. 560 00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:12,208 - We're really late. Come on, sweetie. - See you. 561 00:52:12,376 --> 00:52:14,000 Come on! 562 00:52:14,252 --> 00:52:15,584 Dad! 563 00:52:17,624 --> 00:52:20,376 Mum? What are you doing at Dad's? 564 00:52:21,208 --> 00:52:23,292 It was that day in August 565 00:52:23,624 --> 00:52:25,208 that was super hot. 566 00:52:25,460 --> 00:52:27,124 Over 80 degrees. 567 00:52:27,624 --> 00:52:30,416 Everything's so overripe and dark green... 568 00:52:30,832 --> 00:52:32,792 Just on the edge of going bad. 569 00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:36,416 But what you don't realize is that it's the last day of summer. 570 00:52:52,540 --> 00:52:54,500 - Are you really okay? - Yes! 571 00:52:55,752 --> 00:52:57,708 Yeah, my father fell. 572 00:52:58,416 --> 00:52:59,708 Badly? 573 00:53:01,208 --> 00:53:02,792 I don't think so. 574 00:53:03,584 --> 00:53:06,332 But somehow I feel like I've neglected him. 575 00:53:06,916 --> 00:53:09,040 I need to visit him again soon. 576 00:53:10,416 --> 00:53:12,084 How about now? 577 00:53:12,584 --> 00:53:15,332 - Now? - We'll drive there and visit him. 578 00:53:17,332 --> 00:53:19,832 Why not? It would be fun. 579 00:53:20,540 --> 00:53:22,332 No, it wouldn't be fun. 580 00:53:23,916 --> 00:53:26,752 Then he has visitors. He'd be happy to see you. 581 00:53:28,168 --> 00:53:29,668 He's hurt. 582 00:53:31,252 --> 00:53:33,040 Then I'll drive there. 583 00:53:35,460 --> 00:53:37,668 - Really? - Yeah, really! 584 00:53:41,124 --> 00:53:44,584 My father was really old. So old that he was even in the war! 585 00:53:44,876 --> 00:53:47,916 With "Heimatflak," Hitler Youth, and all that shit. 586 00:53:48,252 --> 00:53:50,832 He was 19 when the Americans took him prisoner. 587 00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:53,624 It was the first time he'd ever seen a black man! 588 00:53:53,792 --> 00:53:57,668 He still smokes Lucky Strikes. They were so cool, the Americans. 589 00:53:58,584 --> 00:54:01,540 When I was 19, things were a little different. 590 00:54:01,708 --> 00:54:04,252 First I think I'll travel the world. 591 00:54:04,584 --> 00:54:06,668 Or study something. 592 00:54:07,624 --> 00:54:10,876 - I'll do an internship at an ad agency. - An ad agency? 593 00:54:11,292 --> 00:54:12,460 Nice. 594 00:54:12,752 --> 00:54:15,040 But first I'm gonna party. 595 00:54:15,252 --> 00:54:18,624 Yeah, man, first get totally trashed. 596 00:54:22,540 --> 00:54:24,916 How old was your ex-girlfriend again? 597 00:54:26,168 --> 00:54:27,752 27? 598 00:54:30,584 --> 00:54:32,376 Huh? Why? 599 00:54:32,708 --> 00:54:35,252 - 24? - Does it matter? 600 00:54:36,376 --> 00:54:37,792 - Tell me. - 23. 601 00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:39,708 - 23? - Yup. 602 00:54:40,708 --> 00:54:43,416 And your father felt that was too old? 603 00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:46,292 Hey, my father is 85! 604 00:54:46,624 --> 00:54:49,332 He's an old man. That was another generation. 605 00:54:52,916 --> 00:54:54,292 He says things like: 606 00:54:54,460 --> 00:54:59,084 "Lenzi, find yourself a nice 20-year-old with long legs who looks up to you. 607 00:54:59,376 --> 00:55:01,168 Someone supple." 608 00:55:03,460 --> 00:55:06,832 - It sounds like you agree with him. - I don't agree with him. 609 00:55:07,376 --> 00:55:09,708 But you had a 23-year-old girlfriend. 610 00:55:09,916 --> 00:55:13,000 I thought you were kidding, but he's really like that? 611 00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:15,668 Yes... No! 612 00:55:16,460 --> 00:55:18,376 He's just an old man. 613 00:55:20,208 --> 00:55:22,040 Are you scared, or what? 614 00:55:25,376 --> 00:55:27,752 Pull over, I have to pee. 615 00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:02,584 What? 616 00:56:03,124 --> 00:56:05,000 Hey, Lenz, what's worse? 617 00:56:05,168 --> 00:56:07,708 My tattoos or that I'm such an old hag? 618 00:56:08,460 --> 00:56:10,208 For your father, I mean. 619 00:56:11,124 --> 00:56:12,124 Neither. 620 00:56:12,708 --> 00:56:14,624 - Both are cool? - Yes. 621 00:56:14,792 --> 00:56:16,668 - That's good. - Totally fine. 622 00:56:16,832 --> 00:56:20,252 I almost put on a jacket so he wouldn't see the tattoos. 623 00:56:20,416 --> 00:56:22,460 - I thought it would help. - Stop it! 624 00:56:22,624 --> 00:56:25,376 You're so uncomfortable going there with me. 625 00:56:25,540 --> 00:56:27,708 - No! I'm happy about it! - You are! 626 00:56:27,960 --> 00:56:31,000 - I embarrass you. - You don't embarrass me! Why? 627 00:56:43,500 --> 00:56:44,792 Six. 628 00:56:46,252 --> 00:56:48,040 - Let's go. - Yup. 629 00:56:55,208 --> 00:56:56,876 Come on, let's go. 630 00:57:01,584 --> 00:57:03,708 - Come on. - Yup. 631 00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:25,292 Fuck, I'm scared! 632 00:57:25,460 --> 00:57:27,500 Seriously! I'm a fucking wimp! 633 00:57:27,708 --> 00:57:29,500 That's so fucked up! 634 00:57:51,752 --> 00:57:53,376 I'm pregnant. 635 00:58:02,876 --> 00:58:04,124 No! 636 00:58:04,332 --> 00:58:05,584 Lenzi! 637 00:58:10,792 --> 00:58:12,460 Son of a bitch. 638 00:58:18,624 --> 00:58:20,876 You could've at least called. 639 00:58:30,624 --> 00:58:33,000 Yeah, Dad, this is Ira. 640 00:58:35,792 --> 00:58:37,416 Well, sit down. 641 00:59:00,540 --> 00:59:01,624 Ira. 642 00:59:04,500 --> 00:59:05,540 Lenz. 643 00:59:05,792 --> 00:59:07,960 Let me see your tattoos. 644 00:59:32,540 --> 00:59:34,624 I imagined it would be worse. 645 00:59:38,668 --> 00:59:40,208 Back then... 646 00:59:40,460 --> 00:59:44,708 only sailors and criminals had tattoos. 647 00:59:47,916 --> 00:59:49,832 You've got quite a figure. 648 00:59:50,916 --> 00:59:52,460 I have to say. 649 00:59:53,752 --> 00:59:55,416 Not perfect, but... 650 00:59:57,792 --> 00:59:59,960 but all the more interesting. 651 01:00:00,832 --> 01:00:02,084 I, um... 652 01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:05,040 I'd like to paint you. 653 01:00:05,376 --> 01:00:07,208 Especially that nose. 654 01:00:07,460 --> 01:00:09,500 I'll get some towels. 655 01:01:41,376 --> 01:01:44,416 What took you so long? You're missing everything. 656 01:01:44,584 --> 01:01:48,960 - We're already on first-name basis. - Dad, how are you feeling? 657 01:01:49,124 --> 01:01:50,668 Fine. Strong as an ox. 658 01:01:53,460 --> 01:01:56,416 I was starting to think you'd forgotten your old dad. 659 01:01:56,584 --> 01:01:58,540 - And how are you? - I'm good, too. 660 01:01:58,876 --> 01:02:00,208 That's good. 661 01:02:00,460 --> 01:02:02,668 So, are you wrathful, Ira? 662 01:02:02,916 --> 01:02:06,708 - We have to go. - What? But you just got here. 663 01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:10,252 Yeah, but tomorrow is Monday. I have to work. 664 01:02:11,876 --> 01:02:14,916 I just wanted to make sure you're okay. Bye, Dad. 665 01:02:15,668 --> 01:02:17,376 Bye. 666 01:02:18,124 --> 01:02:19,208 Lenzi? 667 01:02:26,584 --> 01:02:28,540 - Goodbye. - Bye. 668 01:02:28,832 --> 01:02:30,624 Thanks for the sausage. 669 01:03:03,124 --> 01:03:06,292 Would you rather have triplets or one retarded kid? 670 01:03:06,460 --> 01:03:08,376 That's not funny. 671 01:03:13,168 --> 01:03:14,292 Lenz... 672 01:03:16,752 --> 01:03:19,000 - Lenzi? - Yeah, when did it happen? 673 01:03:19,168 --> 01:03:21,168 I was always super careful. 674 01:03:21,332 --> 01:03:23,124 How should I know? 675 01:03:23,292 --> 01:03:26,876 You know pulling out isn't exactly the safest method, right? 676 01:03:27,124 --> 01:03:29,500 There are safe days, and not so safe days. 677 01:03:29,668 --> 01:03:31,500 You know that, right? 678 01:03:31,792 --> 01:03:34,500 - When are the safe days? - When? No idea! 679 01:03:34,668 --> 01:03:37,376 - See, you don't know! - What do you want from me! 680 01:03:40,916 --> 01:03:43,040 Pull over, I have to pee. 681 01:04:26,252 --> 01:04:30,208 The highest decoration in the U.S. Forces is the Medal of Honor. 682 01:04:30,624 --> 01:04:32,416 Not the computer game. 683 01:04:32,584 --> 01:04:36,500 For distinguished bravery and courage above and beyond the call of duty 684 01:04:36,668 --> 01:04:38,624 in combat against the enemy. 685 01:04:38,960 --> 01:04:40,584 What the fuck? 686 01:04:41,376 --> 01:04:42,752 Heroes! 687 01:04:43,752 --> 01:04:45,708 What good is it to be a hero? 688 01:05:23,460 --> 01:05:24,708 Lenze? 689 01:05:31,252 --> 01:05:33,168 You understand me, right? 690 01:06:03,252 --> 01:06:06,584 Seriously? 300 euros in cash! You're out of your mind! 691 01:06:07,584 --> 01:06:11,960 - How much do I owe you? - 258, please. 692 01:06:13,708 --> 01:06:16,792 258 euros! Let's see if I even have that much. 693 01:06:19,540 --> 01:06:21,040 What's going on, anyway? 694 01:06:21,208 --> 01:06:22,916 Ira is pregnant. 695 01:06:25,792 --> 01:06:27,084 Oh, Lenzi! 696 01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:30,916 No! It wasn't planned. 697 01:06:31,752 --> 01:06:34,832 Not planned! You weren't even wanted. 698 01:06:35,168 --> 01:06:37,500 What do you mean, I wasn't wanted? 699 01:06:38,584 --> 01:06:41,376 Your father didn't want another child. 700 01:06:42,332 --> 01:06:45,252 So I helped it along a bit. You don't have any cash? 701 01:06:45,416 --> 01:06:46,752 No. Does Anna know? 702 01:06:46,916 --> 01:06:50,292 Of course. Your sister's not as sensitive as you. 703 01:06:50,460 --> 01:06:53,124 - Anna knows and she doesn't mind? - Nope. 704 01:06:55,668 --> 01:06:58,500 But we're not even together anymore. 705 01:06:59,876 --> 01:07:02,084 Keep the change. Goodnight. 706 01:07:02,376 --> 01:07:04,000 - Lenz? - Yeah? 707 01:07:04,168 --> 01:07:07,460 I could just cry! Your generation is ridiculous. 708 01:07:07,624 --> 01:07:09,708 "Not together anymore." 709 01:07:09,960 --> 01:07:10,960 Awesome. 710 01:07:11,084 --> 01:07:13,916 Your father and I divorced 15 years ago, did you notice? 711 01:07:14,084 --> 01:07:17,876 - Yeah, and now he's a lonely old man. - Nobody forced him back then. 712 01:07:18,668 --> 01:07:21,916 - Come inside. - No. Nobody forced you either. 713 01:07:24,460 --> 01:07:26,040 Come on. 714 01:07:27,752 --> 01:07:29,960 What will you name the child? 715 01:07:30,124 --> 01:07:32,668 - I don't want it! - Pull yourself together. 716 01:07:33,916 --> 01:07:38,124 That's a nice name, "I don't want it." It sounds... 717 01:07:38,876 --> 01:07:40,332 Flemish? 718 01:07:41,668 --> 01:07:44,500 - You need money? - Why do you all want to give me money? 719 01:07:44,668 --> 01:07:46,376 Do you need love? 720 01:07:47,084 --> 01:07:48,460 Yes! 721 01:07:51,540 --> 01:07:57,460 MONKEY LOVE OR: THE BIG ANYWAY 722 01:08:12,376 --> 01:08:16,624 You can't look them in the eye. You make yourself small. Duck. 723 01:08:17,460 --> 01:08:22,124 Never look them in the eye. If you want to calm them, go like this: 724 01:08:31,292 --> 01:08:32,792 What's wrong? 725 01:08:37,752 --> 01:08:40,124 Ira's pregnant. 726 01:08:51,124 --> 01:08:52,460 Isn't he beautiful? 727 01:08:56,040 --> 01:08:58,084 I've been trying for so long. 728 01:08:58,252 --> 01:09:00,000 He just ignores me. 729 01:09:02,792 --> 01:09:04,376 I don't get it. 730 01:09:05,084 --> 01:09:06,708 He was crazy about me. 731 01:09:06,876 --> 01:09:08,876 He used to love me so much. 732 01:09:10,332 --> 01:09:11,752 Fine. 733 01:09:12,916 --> 01:09:17,876 And then Kenn's patient, I mean client, falls in love with the gorilla. 734 01:09:18,040 --> 01:09:21,792 A real crush, with butterflies. She's totally obsessed. 735 01:09:22,624 --> 01:09:24,624 Real life monkey love. 736 01:09:24,792 --> 01:09:28,792 And the ape totally puts up with it. He really likes how she adores him. 737 01:09:29,208 --> 01:09:32,624 But then, literally from one day to the next, 738 01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:35,876 he brushes her off, doesn't care about her anymore 739 01:09:36,208 --> 01:09:38,460 and gives her the cold shoulder. 740 01:09:39,084 --> 01:09:40,624 That's just how it goes. 741 01:09:58,668 --> 01:10:01,124 Sound. Check! Camera rolling. 742 01:10:01,292 --> 01:10:03,332 And... Action! 743 01:10:10,376 --> 01:10:12,876 Great close-up of the leading actor. 744 01:10:13,040 --> 01:10:14,916 Or leading actress? 745 01:10:17,500 --> 01:10:20,084 We'll find out in the sequel in four weeks. 746 01:10:24,084 --> 01:10:25,832 Here's the head. 747 01:10:28,208 --> 01:10:29,752 The body. 748 01:10:31,124 --> 01:10:32,540 And... 749 01:10:33,124 --> 01:10:34,500 the legs. 750 01:10:48,540 --> 01:10:50,752 Lenz made no contact for six weeks. 751 01:10:50,916 --> 01:10:53,332 No phone call, no text, nothing! 752 01:10:54,708 --> 01:10:57,876 Then he suddenly shows up, and follows me around all day. 753 01:10:58,040 --> 01:10:59,708 "Ira, I love you! 754 01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:02,252 Ira, I finally get it!" 755 01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:07,460 Lenz is the slowest man on earth. Always too late. 756 01:11:07,624 --> 01:11:09,000 Always! 757 01:11:09,540 --> 01:11:11,252 Emotionally, I mean. 758 01:11:13,000 --> 01:11:15,124 I was at the zoo with Kenn and his patient. 759 01:11:15,332 --> 01:11:17,500 - You mean "client." - Right, client. 760 01:11:17,668 --> 01:11:20,960 This client thinks she and this gorilla are a couple. 761 01:11:21,708 --> 01:11:24,292 But the gorilla used to be in a Munich zoo. 762 01:11:24,460 --> 01:11:27,832 And the patient, I mean client, used to visit him there, too. 763 01:11:28,000 --> 01:11:32,124 Then, one day, the gorilla climbed over the fence, 764 01:11:32,832 --> 01:11:37,376 went over to the woman, picked her up and ran off with her. 765 01:11:37,832 --> 01:11:40,752 He carried her to the zoo restaurant 766 01:11:41,040 --> 01:11:43,460 and dropped her there... You listening? 767 01:11:43,624 --> 01:11:46,500 He dropped the lady there and... 768 01:11:46,668 --> 01:11:49,752 - And started biting her, like... - 2.80? 769 01:11:52,000 --> 01:11:55,168 - Do you have 20 cents? - He bit her like some mating ritual. 770 01:11:55,332 --> 01:11:58,040 She got hurt so bad she had to go to the hospital. 771 01:11:58,208 --> 01:12:01,000 So they sent the gorilla to Berlin. 772 01:12:01,168 --> 01:12:03,832 I mean to the zoo. And then the woman... 773 01:12:04,124 --> 01:12:06,460 After she left the hospital, 774 01:12:06,708 --> 01:12:09,916 she moved to Berlin, too, just so she could be with him! 775 01:12:10,084 --> 01:12:11,668 Another 20. 776 01:12:13,832 --> 01:12:15,292 Crazy, right? 777 01:12:19,208 --> 01:12:21,168 Why are you telling me this? 778 01:12:22,084 --> 01:12:24,708 I don't know. It's quite a story, right? 779 01:12:26,376 --> 01:12:28,668 It's a totally ridiculous story. 780 01:12:45,668 --> 01:12:46,832 Bye. 781 01:13:38,916 --> 01:13:39,916 Well... 782 01:13:40,040 --> 01:13:42,832 That was the year with Bin Laden and the cruise ship. 783 01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:45,124 And all the other stuff that happened. 784 01:13:45,292 --> 01:13:49,792 There was that plane that crashed, or disappeared with all the passengers. 785 01:13:50,168 --> 01:13:52,540 It just vanished! Gone! 786 01:13:52,708 --> 01:13:54,708 They searched for months. 787 01:13:55,168 --> 01:13:56,876 But found nothing. 788 01:13:57,752 --> 01:14:00,624 And it was the summer Lenzi's father died. 789 01:14:01,916 --> 01:14:03,376 Just like that. 790 01:14:04,668 --> 01:14:05,668 Well... 791 01:14:06,960 --> 01:14:09,000 You're old and then you die. 792 01:14:51,668 --> 01:14:53,832 - Who was that? - Henning. 793 01:14:54,332 --> 01:14:56,916 - Henning? - You know, "Monkey!" 794 01:15:02,624 --> 01:15:05,124 - Monkey! - Monkey! 795 01:15:13,752 --> 01:15:15,752 What did you inherit? 796 01:15:15,960 --> 01:15:17,916 This car here. 797 01:15:20,376 --> 01:15:21,624 Nice car. 798 01:15:55,252 --> 01:15:56,624 Come on. 799 01:16:04,540 --> 01:16:06,084 Give me your hand! 800 01:16:08,584 --> 01:16:10,252 Everything looks good. 801 01:16:23,668 --> 01:16:24,832 Ouch! 802 01:16:30,376 --> 01:16:31,916 Fuck! My nose! 803 01:16:41,040 --> 01:16:43,708 It's okay, it's okay! Relax. 804 01:16:46,208 --> 01:16:48,540 We can see the hair already! 805 01:16:56,668 --> 01:16:58,584 Let it come. 806 01:17:04,292 --> 01:17:07,460 Look! Look back here! Here! 807 01:17:08,292 --> 01:17:09,668 Look! 808 01:17:17,624 --> 01:17:19,708 It's a girl, Lenzi! 809 01:17:58,252 --> 01:18:00,124 - Crazy! - Totally! 810 01:18:00,292 --> 01:18:03,040 Watching a baby is like watching a bonfire. 811 01:18:16,332 --> 01:18:18,540 Where's the fucking taxi? 812 01:18:24,292 --> 01:18:26,500 - You told it to come here? - Yes! 813 01:18:30,040 --> 01:18:31,752 Totally snoozing. 814 01:18:35,500 --> 01:18:37,124 Here we go. 815 01:18:37,916 --> 01:18:40,752 - How does this work? - I'll get in, you pass it over. 816 01:18:40,916 --> 01:18:42,332 Yeah, okay. 817 01:18:50,584 --> 01:18:51,752 - Careful. - Got it? 818 01:18:51,916 --> 01:18:53,124 Yup. 58857

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