All language subtitles for Baloney.A.Queer.Male.Burlesque.Documentary.AKA.Baloney.2021.BluRay.1080p.x264.DDP5.1-HDChina_track3_[eng]

-[vigorous counting]
-[feet tapping]

[spirited piano music]

[lively chatter]

[Michael] Baloney
is a live show that uses

theater,
dance and striptease

to explore and celebrate

the gay and queer

sexual
and life experience.

Label gay.
Okay, great.

80 Label, Jerry.

So in our first show,
the opening number

choreographed by Rory

was about
sort of city life

taking this
male character,

very dorky
Clark Kent looking guy,

and has a moment
with somebody on the bus.

It really was an effort
to show the everyman

and to make
the everyman sexy.

That like,
he was just a workaday schlub

just like
everybody else.

This was not an idealized
fireman or policeman

or one of those
more stripper type guys.

These are just guys
in business suits and pants.

But then this sort of
sexual energy came into it.

And it was our effort
to kind of show the audience

a little bit
of themselves on stage.

[audience cheering, laughing]

[Michael] There's
so many insecurities

that come
with being an artist.

And it's so easy
to quit and just say "No."

And I actually,
after years of performing

in the city
and just scraping by,

I took
a corporate left turn

where I quit
all artistic employment.

And I became a manager
at a tech company

in San Francisco.

And it was
sort of like

I was acting
that whole time

'cause I was acting
like I was a manager

in a tech company
when I really wasn't that,

and that's not
really what I wanted.

But after a few months,
it just was like--

I remember
walking to my office

and it was down
this white hallway,

this state
of the art building,

no art
on the walls.

And there's this long,
white hallway

and I sort of
was walking down it.

I was like
"You know what this is?

This is me inside.

I'm becoming this
long, white artless hallway

that is, like--
that is a means to an end.

It's just--
it's just leading

from one side
to the other

and there's
nothing to it."

And I just sort of realized
that my-- my worst day

as a full time artist
was better than my best day

as a full time
tech manager at this company.

And I got
the fuck out of there.

And then
it was sort of like

"Okay, well now,

this isn't
fun and games anymore.

Like now, if I'm going
to stay in San Francisco

and I'm going
to keep making art,

I need to make something

that will
speak to people.

This isn't
about exploring anymore.

Now I need something

that's
commercially successful."

-[snaps]
-[rhythmic humming]

[Michael] I co-created Baloney
with my partner, Rory Davis,

who's the choreographer
of the show.

One, two, three.

-Roll and pop--
-Left hand.

Story is
what I'm interested in.

Yeah, this is up first.
And then you roll--

Oh, what do you roll?

And then
where does this one--

Bum-bum-bum...

[Michael] And Rory comes from
the choreography background

and dance and the body.

Okay, okay,
this is why I wanted

to make sure
we did this.

[Michael] It needed
two parents, right?

[Rory] Nope.

[Michael] That I could
never do Baloney by myself.

And I don't think that Rory
could ever do it by himself.

But there was something that
we were able to make together

that was greater
than the sum of our parts.

-Did I do it?
-Yeah, you're good.

One, two, three, four, five.
Good. That's it.

-Don't worry about--
-Hoo!

What do you mean,
holding a towel?

-Oh, like this?
-Yeah, you're doing it

-like you're holding a towel.
-I am. How do you do it?

It's just,
you know, like...

[Michael laughs]
What's the difference?

[Rory] I think
that with Baloney,

what we're trying to say
is just that everything

that we present
is sexy to someone.

I can see from the stage
if somebody is completely,

maybe even, like,
disgusted by something,

the person next to them
is super into it.

[audience laughs]

[sultry instrumental]

Favorite Baloney number
is for sure--

One of them
is "I Feel Love."

I'm really
pleased with how--

I think that the group
was able to evoke

the coming out process

basically in your
first night out

and probably being
pretty nervous.

I remember
in Philadelphia

when I was um,
I was 21 and-- [laughs]

But like, surrounding
myself with a wall of girls,

you know,
because I was terrified,

I didn't know
what would happen.

And then the next time
I had less friends with me.

And then it
eventually became the point,

you know,
where now I'm staging Baloney.

But I think everyone--

We try to do that
with a lot of numbers of hours,

where we try to tap into
that sensibility of like,

we've all been here
once in our lives.

So the story of this,
by the way, is like--

This is, this--
Did Michael tell you?

It's like this,
like, it's the powerhouse

and you're--
you're a Badlands boy.

-You both are.
-Okay. [laughs]

I know you're--
you're terrified.

-0 key?
-0 key.

So the curtain
is closed right now.

Their hands come out.

You guys come
through the audience

and you come up here,
and like, what turns out

to be is that
like, he wants--

He wants to go and you end up--
you end up chickening out.

-[Joe] Okay.
-[Rory] So you'll see,

you guys come out
and you have a piece of paper

and it's whole thing
where it's like

"Where is this place?"
You know this [indistinct]

So it's going to be this thing
where it's like "Where is it?"

You know, like--
it's like follow his lead.

It's this shy thing,
and then basically

Daddy appears
from the back.

##"

[Joe] Like, I know,
for me, my sexuality,

that's part
of my power.

It used to be one
of those things where it used

to bring me some shame
that kind of would hold me back

and make me second guess
myself sometimes.

But I think once
you're in that dark place

and you get to know
all aspects of yourself,

you discover that
something like your sexuality

can be really powerful.

And I think
that's kind of like

what we're using,
is like we're not shying away.

We're definitely
all about the smut in Baloney.

Like, you know,
like, that's what you came for.

That's it
we're going to give you.

But we're also
going to make you think.

[deep breath]

[energetic dance music]

[Rory] All right,
we're here.

We're showing
our butt holes with our hands.

We hold.
This is the slow curtain open.

Hold. Two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

Two, two, three--
I think four counts of eight.

We'll know it.

I'll count us in.
We flex right.

One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven. We hit it.

One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven. We hit it.

We look up, two, three,
four, five, six, seven.

We melt your own way,
two, three then I clap!

And then we break.
Here we go.

Would you mind
going back, Michael?

[Michael] Yeah.

Uh, whichever one you pref--
[makes a goofy sound]

-[Michael] That way, yeah.
-Woo... yes!

Because you have to cross
to the pits, here we go.

[upbeat pop instrumental]

[Michael] When that break
happens with the clap,

-you fly in with the chair.
-[man] Okay.

Yes, so you'll
come over here

and Beth
will offer you a drink.

And then you take
your bow to take--

You take the drink
and then it's--

Something's off about it.

But you wait and see her
with the yellow hankie

-and then you spit it out.
-[low audience laughter]

And then, "Thank you so much,
that's not for me."

And then
she's going to hand it--

Yeah, she'll hand it
to Simon and he loves it.

Okay, great.

[Michael] When I first
moved to San Francisco,

I worked in the Castro.

I was really excited
to be in the heart

of the gay scene.

And what I realized
really quickly

was that I was
really in the heart

of the gay dating scene
and hookup scene

where I was working.

And that's a really,
kind of different energy

than um--
than the arts scene

that I was looking for.

It really uh,
it kind of shocked me

how people
treated each other

and how dating worked.

And by dating I mean,
often just fucking,

you know, basically.

So for a lot of years
I really observed

and did not
necessarily engage [chuckles]

very openly
in being gay or in gay sex.

And I was
really sort of

puritanical and um...

and just uh...

reserved in a lot of
what I would do on stage

and what I would do
in my personal life.

♪

[Rory] And then this is when
you get to do your Shaunie.

So you back up
and then you get to be like

"Okay. I'm feelin' this."

And I'll be right here
and I'll bump into you.

Boom. And then--

And then it stops.
Exactly. Yeah.

And I do
a lap around you.

I take out
the invisible poppers.

And I realize
what I'm going to do this time

is put 'em out,
like, really far

so people
can really see them.

And then we'll
shove down on the "I feel."

So let's--
let's get a deep plié.

"I feel."
Yup, yup. Cool.

Let's get to there.
Here we go.

♪

[Michael] Being so new
and inexperienced in the world,

I just had a lot to learn,
so I retreated

into my own space for a while
and worked on solo shows

because I was
the only person

that I could
afford to get there.

And I was the only one
that would spend the time

to create the show.

So, solo work
was where I started.

But throughout
all of this creation

and doing
other people's shows,

I was really careful
to not objectify myself.

That--
and to not be objectified.

I worked at a lot
of gay theater spaces

and sometimes
they would get

a reputation
for requiring--

Or, nudity in all
of their productions, right?

Like even if
it was a heartfelt memoir,

you were sort of expected
to take your pants off, right?

So it was a real
turn around for me, sort of.

I grew up a lot
and matured a lot

and started to find
that there was power

in the vulnerability
of exposing oneself.

Not just one's flesh,

but also
one's inner life,

one's inner humor,
one's inner flaws.

All the things
that burlesque

in particular can do.

And of course, it was like,
after 15 years of doing

legit theater
in San Francisco,

I never sold out a show
until we started

taking our clothes off.

That sort of unlocked it
for me to be like

"Oh, that whole time
that I was trying to tell

these deep stories
and really rejecting

being a-- a--
a sexualized gay male,

it actually-- I'm not
able to tell those stories

until I incorporate
that into who I am

and to be okay
with the objectification

and the baring
of the body.

And then we could talk
about the deep stuff.

So I go like this,
you give me your left

and I'm like
"No, no, no."

What is it--
what do they mean?

It means bottom.

[all laughing]

Yeah.
80, no, no, boom.

This is better
because it's easier for me.

I give you
a little head rub

-and people do--
-"Mom, I'm a bottom!"

People, people go,
"Aww" it's really cute.

I'll do this,
and you time all this out

and you gain
your confidence back

and you're like
"I can do this"

when you go
back in there.

[indistinct chatter]

[Michael] Yeah.

That's good,
and you can, like,

maybe be, like,
rubbing his butt.

Yeah.

[crew members laughing]

Like, lay over him.

-Uh-huh.
-Ooh. Is that gonna work?

-[man in the background] Wow.
-I don't know.

-Is that going to work?
-Mm...

Yeah,
let's not do that one.

Like, here.
And you just go, bam!

They're like,
wheelbarrow fucking over there.

You're doing
sexy potato sack.

And then, like,
we can slowly put him down

and like,
keep the connection.

Yeah, so don't worry about,
like, having to work

too much with that.

[Rory] Especially
with Folsom Street Fair

or with gay bars,
you're going to see things

that kind of blow
your mind a little bit

if you're not
accustomed to it.

With the dance break,
with the poppers

and things like this,
he's staying past midnight.

It's happening.
It's on.

What I've missed,
I've saved for making out.

I put him down.

And once
I put him down like this,

you guys can slowly
start to make your way in.

Like there's no
five, six, seven, eight.

Take your time,
I put his arm up and you guys

should be approaching.

You guys should
be approaching and approaching.

Yeah,
different levels is good.

Hands are up
and then we ride him down.

It's just like art,

it's just like
the closer ending

and Shaun,
you come down with us.

And then
as that's happening--

Exactly, the curtain closes.
Masterpiece, the end.

[cheering]

[ethereal vocalizing
over bright pop]

Ladies and gentlemen,
we are the one,

we are the only.

This is San Francisco's

gay all-male revue.

Welcome to Baloney!

[audience cheering]

I was born
in Woodland, California

which is a medium-sized

agricultural town
in the Sacramento Valley.

It's very historical.

It's very conservative.
It's very beautiful.

It's the city of trees.

I grew up
with a single mom

and it was
just she and I.

I have
two older brothers

but they are much older
and were out of the house

by the time
I could remember.

So I was
basically raised

as an only child
and had a lot of time to myself

to play and imagine.

I told a lot of stories

as a kid,
often just to myself.

I raised sheep.

I was a member of 4-H

which is similar to like,
Future Farmers of America.

And was just a big dork
and totally in the closet.

Where I grew up,
there wasn't--

There wasn't
queer community.

There were,
you know, queer people around

but there was no space
to be queer, you know?

There was no space
to meet those people.

It was really
the dawn of the Internet

when I was
in high school

and really
discovering sexuality.

So a lot of my first
gay community was online.

My high school routine

was go to school,

do my best,
do my thing,

sometimes go to theater
rehearsal afterward.

And then in the space

between...

coming home from school

and my mom coming
home from school,

I would basically
be on the Internet,

probably jerking off.

That was-- yeah.

That was how
I found my sexuality.

It was on the Internet

through pornography.

That-- that was
the only way that I was seeing

what gay sex was.

[Nintendo-like music]

[audience cheering]

♪

[audience laughter]

[level-up music]

[music stops]

[audience laughter]

Our first show,
we really tried

to live in those vintage

porn scenarios
and characters.

But immediately
after that,

when we were planning
our second show,

we realized that even that
was too small a container

for what this could be
and that porn scenarios

were just how we started
but that there was actually

a whole gamut
of gay and queer experience

that could fit
into this format.

And if it could fit,
why-- why not?

[Rory] And I remember--

I'm like
the last generation of kids

who actually, like,
had to go through,

like, the creaky doors
at the video store.

And, like, grab the box
and bring it up to the person

at the-- at the counter

and go through
all of that, it was like--

And now even with,
like, younger,

I guess gay men
in particular,

like, that doesn't
happen anymore.

So it's kind of fun

to, in my mind,
sort of bring that to them

in this Internet age
where everything

is like, a click away.

['70s pop music]

[Daddy] I think
a lot of the stories

are multifaceted
like that.

Like, you can look
on the surface

and see the humor

but when you look
a little deeper,

there could be a sadness.

Or even an insecurity

that the character
is masking

with humor or sexuality.

And a deeper exploration

that you
can sort of see

the character
almost wanting to express...

but not quite,
just to keep

a little bit
of mystery going.

[Joe] Yes, it's a sex show
but it's, like, sex positivity.

We're allowing our fans

to live their
sexual fantasies

through participating,
by coming to our shows,

by participating,
by being onstage

and just by us
doing our own thing.

One of my favorite things
to do after every show

is to go out
and talk to the people,

even before the sweat
has dried on the body,

to like go out
and ask people

what they
thought of the show,

what they would
like to see more of.

And people would
just start unsolicited

coming up to us
after shows and being like

"Oh my God,
you need to do a doctor number.

Like, do you--
do something with a doctor."

Or, "Oh my God,
you have to do a priest number,

like do something
with a priest."

And it took a while
to realize, like

"Oh, these things
that they're suggesting

that we do are
in some form their fantasy."

And it just shows us
that the audience has an idea

of what they
want to see out there

and that they're
invested enough

even to tell us
what it is.

And sometimes
they blow my mind,

what people
fantasize about.

I'm just like,
"Yes, there really is

something
for everyone." [laughs]

[Nintendo-like music
pitches down]

We've had a blast.

And how long
have you been in town?

Uh, I got here on Tuesday
and then the rest of the cast

sort of
filled in on Friday.

Yeah, but you're
not doing the rehearsal?

Do you know your act so well,
you just, boom--

Oh no, we rehearse.

Yeah, we rehearse

and then we rehearse
all day here. This--

This is our
first time on the stage.

[Daddy] Michael and Rory
have created an environment

for people
to be authentic

in how they
express themselves

as human beings

and sexual beings

without any level
of embarrassment,

shame or guilt.

[man 1] Oh, what's up?

[excited chatter]

[man 2] Me, me, me, me!

[laughter]

[crew member] Honey,
you're going to be next.

Come here, sweetie.
Come here, sweetie.

-How are you doing, honey?
-[man 3] Yeah!

-[man 4] I'm doing good.
-[man 5] Oh, yeah.

[Daddy] I think
they just have an amazing way

of creating this flow

that keeps
people coming back

and keeps people
wanting to be in the show.

Because that's
one of the beautiful things

about the show,

is the...

performers
represent the audience.

So people in the audience
can sort of see themselves

being represented
and expressed on stage,

whether through
a particular body type

or character,
or a story that's being told.

[cheering]

[man] This is
a great show, honey,

you were great
in the show!

[laughing] I'm in heaven.

[all laughing]

[Michael] To be any kind of
artist in the Bay Area,

you really
have to hustle.

So it's
a matter of juggling

lots of different
types of gigs

and also trying to find time
for your passion projects

while making
enough of a living

to just afford rent.

Something
to drink for you.

Let's just say I'm sort of
like, living my dreams

but I eat a lot

of peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches.

Like, that's sort of—-

you're sort of
right on the knife's edge,

like, living
on survival mode.

But I'd rather do it here
than anywhere else.

[Rory] Jerry
said that making a harness

-out of garden hose...
-[Michael] Mm-hmm--

[Rory] ...would be easy

but it's just
a matter of him doing it.

Like, it's us
getting a hose to him.

[Michael] Okay.
Um, I will--

Let's get these names
in front of us

so I know exactly,
like, who to picture.

So do you have
in your email, who is--

Exactly who is
available for both days?

[Rory] Yeah,
Aaron is a yes for Sunday,

-not Saturday.
-[Michael] Okay.

[Rory] Will is a yes
for Saturday not Sunday.

Ryan says
Sunday's better.

Andrew and Jules
are both yeses.

Joe is yes for Sunday.

So maybe
Sunday is better.

-[Michael] I do want Joe.
-Yeah.

[Michael] I really want him.
And Pablo, you said was--

Everybody else
is good for both days--

[Rory] Jerry is yes,
Saturday, no, Sunday.

[Michael] Okay.

-Simon is no so we hate him.
-[Michael] Okay.

If I could just quit my job
and just do Baloney full time,

I think I would
totally do it, in a heartbeat.

So uh, Rory and Michael
need to make it big

so that uh... [laughs]

...I can find a way
to just do Baloney.

[laughs]

I'll do-- I'll make
whatever videos you need,

you know,
I got it. [laughs]

Because when
I went to college,

I went to college
for video game design

and we learned
how to like, video edit

and animate
and do 3D stuff.

And then I graduated
and my stuff wasn't good enough

to work
in the video game industry,

but I still had
all the skills!

So I was like
"Oh, how can I use

these skills
that I learned in college

that I am
currently not using

because I'm not that good
of an animator?" [laughs]

And I was like "Oh, I can
put it into my drag numbers!"

And so I started making
background videos

for all my
drag numbers.

Like, I did a Mario Kart
drag number and I made like...

the rainbow road
track in 3D.

And I had
the camera go through it.

And then in front
of the screen was just us

dressed as Mario Kart
characters in our cars,

Like,
going down the track.

People started to see that
and they were like,

"Hey, can you make
a video for me?"

Or, "Can you make
a video for me?"

And I'm one of those people
where I'm like--

If I'm contributing,
I'm like "Oh yay,

I'm having a wonderful time
because I'm helping!"

[laughs]

Like, I will be dancing
rock number seven in your show

and I will be
the happiest man alive.

Like, say, with Baloney.

Like, I could be
in one number in the background

like,
playing a dead body.

And I would be like
"Yes! Oh, my God, I'm helping.

I'm helping keep
the arts alive in our schools."

Hey, Jules,
this is your food by the way.

[upbeat EDM music]

[announcer
speaking indistinctly]

[announcer] Johnny Cage.

Jax.

Scorpion.

Sub-zero.

Sonya.

[Michael] One of the
challenges that we've found

is getting
new audience into the show.

So we're trying
to incentivize that by creating

some really cool
online content that can become

an advertisement for us,
which is something

that we don't
really do a lot of.

It's Pablo and Aaron,

are the ones
that have spearheaded it.

And they've found
this great friendship.

They have a great sense
of humor that is in line

and complementary
with each other, and I love it.

I especially love
getting to take the back seat

and just
be a performer.

I'm just here naked,
about to go perform

in the-- the short film
that they put together.

And it's cool.

Like, the family has grown
and the skill sets are growing.

Um, you know,

we're not just
strippers anymore.

Right.

So you guys are like,
super, super, like,

'803 fashion model.

Like femme.
Like, super femme.

Like a cross
between Cindy Crawford

and I don't know,
Tawny Kitaen.

Now, Ryan,

you want your
fucking leg licked.

You want to take the gag out
and force him into it.

♪

[Pablo] Good.

-I'm your little bitch. Ah.
-[crew member] Yes!

[all laughing]

[Rory] Some--
some kids walk by...

So we did--
we were initially

not going to
do these posters...

because we knew
that they were too much.

We were too busy
so we're like [indistinct].

Because the extreme
makes an impression.

-And uh...
-Yesterday, we made

-quite a few friends.
-Yeah, we made--

We made some
friends and some enemies.

It's how you know
you're on top.

[both laughing]

[Michael] Yeah, totally.

Okay, good.
We're up there--

-[Rory] Up there.
-[Michael] Great.

So last night, people--

I asked where--
like, how they had heard

about the show
and they were like

"Because your
posters are everywhere."

And I was like
"Yeah, good."

[Michael] Literally,
our marketing budget

is, like,
$50 for posters.

They won't let us
do Facebook ads anymore

because they think
we're porn.

So we can't even
pay them to advertise us.

I think because
Facebook's homophobic.

-[Rory] Right.
-[Michael] And...

sex worker-a-phobic.

-Come see Baloney! Tonight.
-Tonight.

Yeah. And we can't
afford any other advertising

-so posters it is--
-[indistinct]

I know. I think we really
convinced that guy.

[Rory laughing]

[Rory] I can do that
if you want.

-[Michael grunts]
-[Rory] Look at you.

-[Michael] I did it, I did it.
-[Rory] [indistinct]

[Michael] There's a lot of
trust that has to happen

in this kind of show.

You know,
like the fact that this is

such a vulnerable show,

really, like,
taking off your clothes

on stage is not easy.

And so we have to have
a really safe space.

Like-- and it starts
in the rehearsal room.

Hey,
how's it going, neighbor?

I know these guys.

Come on in, fellas.

[overlapping chatter]

[Michael] How's it going?

[doors slams]

That was great,
thanks for telling my neighbor

about a snuff film.

[Michael laughs]
I just met him.

[Michael laughs]

-[Pablo] He's cute.
-[Michael] I know, he is cute.

-[Michael] How ya doing, honey?
-[Pablo] Good, how are you?

[Michael] I'm good.
Did you enjoy your movie?

I did. I was-- it was
a good thing David didn't go,

-he was-- he was--
-He wouldn't have liked it.

[Daddy] One of my favorite
things about the show

was always at the beginning
of a production,

when all
the ideas were popping

and you could
see them brainstorming

and working off
of each other.

And we would all just
sit back and just watch,

like the fireworks and passion
explode between them

as they created this magic

for what was going
to be filling seats up

in just a matter
of two weeks, usually.

[Michael]
...and then you guys...

♪

[Michael] I think in terms of
showing male sexuality,

it's-- it's something
that is tied up

in ideals
of masculinity.

And what is sort of
the right masculinity.

And there's so much
performative masculinity

and toxic masculinity.

And it took me
kind of finding a mask,

I think,
to figure out who I was.

I had to put on
a couple of different masks

to find all
of the pieces along the way.

And drag was a big part
for me, personally.

I was always
scared to be too feminine

when I was growing up.

That was a trap
that could get you hurt

or killed, frankly.

I had to
embrace those things

that I was
scared of as a kid

to fully be the things
that I had suppressed as a kid,

in order to realize
who I actually was

and to be able
to be anybody on stage.

And so the mask
of drag was something

that we started with,
but just taking away

the gender illusion.

But just using the bigness,
the exaggerated-ness

but the mask
was more masculinity

or gay male identity.

And we put
those masks on

and started
to play around with story.

[Andrew] I was made
fun of a lot as a kid

for being, like,
super femmy and stuff,

um, but I never...

took that to mean like
"Okay, I need to be, like,

super masculine
and butch and big and strong."

Because I always thought,

"Oh, I'm always going
to be gay no matter what."

The reason I got big
was because in college

I joined cheer leading
and I was really skinny

and I couldn't throw
any of the girls.

So that's when
I started working out.

So that was really
the reason why I got big,

was for practical purposes,
I guess. [laughing]

Um, but, I know--
I just think

I'm always
going to be who I am.

And feminine or masculine
doesn't really matter

because if anyone
has a problem with it,

that's--

That's their problem.

[indistinct conversation]

[Rory]
Typical Saturday, here we go.

[crew members laughing]

One, two, three, four,
let's let one more pass,

seven, eight,
one, two, three, four, five,

six, seven and one--

[crew member] Whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Pablo] [indistinct]

'Cause literally,
right now, [indistinct].

So, so what
was different before?

[Andrew] Can we talk to the--
can I talk through it

-really, really slow with you?
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So-- so,
I'm here, if I'm you...

you just have to think,
hands on my shoulder...

-[Pablo] Yeah.
-[Andrew] ...and dip.

And jump
straight up straight up--

-Okay--
-[Andrew] And push me

down and then that--

-[Rory] That was perfect.
-[Pablo] Yeah.

-[Rory] Got it? Feel good?
-[Pablo] Yeah.

-[crew member 1] Okay, cool.
-[crew member 2] And then...

♪

[Michael] Our uh,
gym culture number

is about showing two
very different bodies.

We have our body builder
that starts off the number

and then we have
a different body type come in,

this more effeminate,

big wig, big,
loud personality

and showing the two of them
next to each other.

But it really is
about the two of them

encountering each other

and sort of
accepting each other.

And getting
a little sexy with each other

and realizing
that though they're not alike,

they are attracted
to each other.

♪

I think that we'll
need to do something bigger

than the do-do.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

'Cause nobody's
going to see it.

So can we do
like a boom-boom?

-[Pablo] Yeah.
-[Michael] Like a little bicep?

Bum-bum!
Just really quick.

It's not quite
the same feeling...

-No, no, no. Yeah.
-...I want it to be like--

I mean, I feel like,
hard up, boom-boom.

-Hard up. Boom-boom.
-[Michael] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exactly.
I think that'll work better.

And then
you can kind of answer.

-[Pablo] Yeah, yeah.
-[Michael] Like you could

even be like,
dun-dun, dun-dun,

-you know, like--
-That's true.

I like--
I like when this character

perverts
what this character does.

['80s pop music]

[audience cheering]

[Rory] Nate should
be here tonight, yes?

-He's called, yeah.
-[Rory] Okay.

[Rory] Michael, we--
we will need water cleaned up

before um, label game.

And I think
we discussed that once

but I just
added this here.

So I wonder if that's something
that we should work out.

Okay, so it's--
it's either me

doing an emcee bit
like I talked about

to buy time for Will
and Jerry's thing,

which could be like,
less than a minute.

[Rory] I think
we should just have

a sleazy
janitor come out.

[Michael] With-- with music?

Yeah. Instead of,
like, hitting the brakes.

-[Michael] Okay. Yeah.
-[Rory] What do you think?

[Michael] That'd be great.
Like-- like we nail the lift.

You throw down
your towels and then--

[Shaun] And then
we can, like--

The dancers
are kind of, like, flirty.

-Riffing of some flirtation
-[Michael] [indistinct]

[Shaun] and then we're like,
kind of like, doing that.

And then
you can be like

"Get off the stage,
boys, get off."

['50s rock and roll music]

[Ryan]
What I said, the tag line,

"San Francisco's only

all-gay male revue?"

And I'll say it's
the "San Francisco's only

all-gay male revue,"

but nor is it
completely gay,

nor is it completely
all male... [chuckling]

...so even
the tag line is a lie.

Beth Miles
is the original Baloney Babe

and she is great
at gender gymnastics.

So she can be
this fabulous,

female character
in one number

and then this totally scuzzy,
raunchy dude in another.

And she has
that great range

of feminine
and masculine energy.

What is Baloney?

It is San Francisco's
gay all-male revue.

[laughs]

That's what
they tell people.

And then there's me,
one of these things

is not like the other.

[Andrew]
What's the big deal?

Why does everyone look--

[woman] Why are
y'all [indistinct]?

[Beth] I guess none of us
are like the other, really.

When we really
think about it.

♪

[Beth] I think
that the audiences

come expecting to see

a bunch
of hot boys on stage.

And I've kind of
always thought of myself

as "I'm a punch line."

But I think
that's not entirely true.

They've actually
been extremely thoughtful

about some of the numbers
that they've crafted

to allow us to be funny,
to allow us to be sexy,

to allow us to be
the surprise elements

that you wouldn't
expect in the number.

And, like,
there's funny pieces to it

but it's also beautiful.

So it's just like--
it's good storytelling.

[Ryan singing scales]

♪

[Michael] He's ready. Gay.

♪ Gay-gay bo-baya
Bo-baya-banana-fana-fo-fay ♪

♪ Me-my, mo-may ♪

♪ Gay! ♪

-[crew members laughing]
-Queers!

♪ Queers-queers bo-beers
Banana-fana-fo-feers ♪

♪ Me-my mo-mee-e-ers ♪

♪ Queers! ♪

[Michael] Great.
Great. Great, great.

So let's just
anticipate those entrances,

and let's
do that one more time.

Welcome.
Welcome to my room.

So glad you could join.
Please come in.

Yes, absolutely.

80 um, we've just
moved into this place.

What is it?
It's April.

So we moved in
in October.

80 about a little
over six months.

And I believe
in more is more, so...

This is like, a little--
this actually-- I did turn it--

I wanted it
to become an altar.

And then
because it was just

the new moon in Aries,

it was very
auspicious astrology.

So I should
do a ritual.

And then just uh,

bring in some creative energy,
a new life for me.

[low whirring]

Okay.

Great, um...

so then, uh,
the next number,

we don't need
a black out in between

but this is a video.

-Okay, we'll take it--
-The-- the brighter.

Yeah, it's-- it's video
but with performance on stage.

♪ Come on, everybody ♪

♪ I say let's play a game ♪

♪ I bet you
I can make a rhyme ♪

♪ Out of anybody's label ♪

♪ Now labels are the thing ♪

♪ That other people call you ♪

♪ But only you decide ♪

♪ If the label is true ♪

Let's do, Daddy.

-[clap] Daddy.
Daddy-daddy, bo-bee--

Let's do, Daddy. Okay.

[Michael] Great,
great, great, great, great.

Okay, cool.
I love it, um...

so now I don't
want the-- the label

to happen
on the "but-but."

So I'm okay if you don't do
the-- the "but" there.

But don't do
the word "label" too late.

Like, let that be the laugh
in the little "but-but."

Sure.

"Out of anybody's... label.
But, but--"

And then you pick it up
and you go this way.

"But-but."
And then you keep traveling.

And they'll stay center to make
the bookends for those guys.

Yes! Let me, honey.

[indistinct]

I am a performer

and a writer

and a singer
and a dancer and...

Kind of just like,
all those little hats.

I pay the bills
in two different ways.

First, I manage
a store on Valencia

called Intentionally Blank,

which is a women's
shoe store.

But we also sell
vintage and garments.

But then, really
how I pay the bills

and actually
afford everything is, uh,

I'm a lady
of the evening.

Um, or an escort
or a hooker.

[gentle pop piano instrumental]

Do I see escort work
going long term?

I've already done it
for two and a half years.

Um, and so uh...

I was hoping to not really do
it past three to four years.

It is very
financially rewarding.

Um...

and it's kind of
what allows me

to have the freedom
to do everything, uh, else.

But I turn 30 in...

October,
at the end of October.

And so I'd like
my 303 to be more

about pursuing...

my artistic goals
relentlessly than this.

But I would--

I'm like not--

I'm not like, "Oh, I have
to get out of it because...

it's so disgusting or I have
this awful lifestyle."

It's just not
what I want to do.

So I'd rather...

hustle more for art,
which is...

what I've been trying
to make time to do, so.

I always think--

I like to try
to think like,

"Okay,
if I wake up in...

10 years
and I look back like,

will I've been happy
with myself for how much work

I put into where I got to
or what I did.

Like did I really go
for the thing

that I said
I wanted to go for?"

So that's what
I'm trying to do.

But escorting
also allows...

for that
so it's a combination.

And also,
as I've done it more,

you get more
regular clients.

And you get
more people you know.

So the work doesn't
have to become as like...

grab anything and everything
that comes your way.

But you kind of
start to build a...

Not a full schedule
but you just know

that there will be
some business at all times.

And so even after
if to get off of it,

like the site
or anything officially, um...

you'll have people's numbers
and they can contact you.

And you'll
just say like,

"Sure, I'll make $300
for an hour, that's easy."

And most of the time
I have a great time, so.

Ooh, a little burnt.
That's okay.

[groovy rock music]

[Michael] I wonder
actually, if--

[Rory]
Cuddle, cuddle, go.

I need pictures
to sell our show.

I just need to talk to Nate,
like at this point.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And give him
the benefit of the doubt.

No, no, no. It's--
it's all good. We love him.

[Michael] No, I did.

I-- I just left him a message
just being, like--

But you haven't heard
back from him yet.

[Michael] Mm,
well now I have messages.

Let's see if one of them
is from him, yeah.

So you know
he's okay first, right?

If he is,
he won't be.

[laughs]

[Daddy] I think Michael
and Rory are really incredible

at keeping
an appropriate balance

between friendship
and professionalism.

And each of them
have been very close friends

with several cast members
and continue to be.

And-- and they-- they
socialize outside of Baloney.

But when it's time
to get work done...

[Michael] Yes, yeah...

[Daddy] ...they are
respected as the bosses.

Okay.

Let me get Rory
involved in this.

Rory, Nate's-- Nate
can't do any rehearsal.

And he just found out
and told me, like, yesterday.

We had a performer
tell us today

that he couldn't make
any of the rehearsals

that had been
scheduled for months.

And telling us today,
the day of the rehearsal,

after the rehearsal, is sort of
the worst possible time

to hear from somebody
that they can't come

and kind of fulfill
their end of the bargain.

And part of the reason
that we're able to do

the show
as well as we do

is that we really
trust our performers

to do their homework.

We don't ask
a lot of rehearsal time

but what we do ask, we need
to kind of maximize, you know?

Like, this show doesn't work
if it looks sloppy, you know?

Like, it doesn't-- it doesn't
work if it looks like

it's just like any
of those other, you know,

"I don't know
what I'm doing but I'm hot"

kind of burlesque shows.

Like,
it has to be sharp.

So it bothers me

when our performers
don't show up.

As the director,
I often have to be the one

that, like,
cuts the fun,

which is unfortunate
because as an actor

that's my favorite part,
like, I love the part

where we're all just
vibing and joking around

and we're doing the stuff
that's around the show,

but not necessarily
part of the show.

Like, the camaraderie is really
important to me as an actor.

And I'm also
an actor in the show

but mostly
I'm the director.

So I do
have to kind of...

whip us into
shape sometimes.

I have to
cut the fun moment

to get to the
business moment.

Um, that can be a bit of a drag
when I realize that I'm--

I have to wear the director hat
as opposed to the fun,

funny guy hat.

But it's just kind of
part of the deal.

[Michael] Right?

-Are you guys with me?
-Listen up, guys. Listen up.

Let's all stay together, okay?
So we go...

[Beth] Michael
is an amazing manager.

He's kind, he gives people
the benefit of the doubt

and he does
what any good leader would do

and say, "Hey, listen.

Like, I needed this from you.
This didn't happen.

You know, what are we going
to do to move forward?"

You know? He rules.
He rules. He's super fun.

I wouldn't do it
if it wasn't fun.

[man] Okay!

Okay.
I'll talk to you soon.

Thanks. That's okay.
I love you, too. Bye.

[low chatter]

Michael and Rory work
so beautifully together.

And even though a lot of
the experiences that we have

and the acts that we do
together are co-creative,

when all is said and done,
they make the final decisions.

And we can have a friendly
conversation on one hand.

And then, 10 minutes later
need to have

a very serious discussion

about something
that's happening on stage

that's, you know,
might need...

to be a little bit
blunt or abrupt.

But nobody takes that
personally because...

there's a delineation
between the friendship aspect

and the producer-actor aspect.

Ha! Ready? Five.
Six, five, six. Here we go.

Right, right, left, left.
Boom, ha, boom, ha.

Boom-boom, ha-ha.
Boom-ha, that's it!

Ready? Five, six, five, six.
Up to speed.

Boom, boom, ha-ha,
boom-ha, boom-ha, boom-ha.

Boom-ha boom, ha-ha.
Boom-ha, boom-ha. Yup.

We'll get there, we'll get
there, we'll get there.

So I think
we would take that moment

where you'll like, come up,

maybe take a look back.

Duh, duh.

Um, "I'm Captain
Jean-Luc Picard

of the [indistinct]
Enterprise."

So just take your time with it,
but really, like, let it land.

And then, like,
you sort of want to pull--

When they're-- when they're,
like, coming at you,

you sort of want to pull away
but you're--

But you're just like,
"Okay, it's an alien.

This is
an alien custom.

Okay. All-- all right.
Okay. Yeah, great.

You're just kind of
like, oh, oh, oh God.

Oh! Oh, God. Help, help, help.
I don't know."

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
"I need an adult!" Yeah.

We had done
a Star Trek number before

um, and with this one
we realized all of a sudden,

out of nowhere that Will
[indistinct], Daddy Will,

we were like,
"Oh, he could be--

He kind of
looks like Picard."

Michael and I
are big Star Trek fans.

And then I'm remembering
Michael and I

had a conversation back and
forth about "Well, what if?

Wouldn't it be funny if
the Star Trek of the Enterprise

had to, like,
crash land in San Francisco

on Folsom Street Fair?"

Because that show's
really about like,

it's very much so about
like different cultures

and communication
or miscommunications.

So we thought at first, "Oh,
maybe like leather daddies--

They'll see,"
something like that.

And we thought, "Where could
a true misunderstanding happen?

You know,
where they might actually think

that there could be
some hostility.

Or, based upon
a misunderstanding."

It's like
a Three's Company episode

but set
to "Radar Love."

But of course, you know,
in true Baloney style,

it all works out
in the end.

[50s rock n roll music]

Action!

[Pablo] Yes.

Oh, fuck.
That's so hot!

[machine whirring]

So that's my husband's side.
His name is David.

That's his side.
This one is mine.

Let me show you
a little bit.

This is-- that's my grandma
that passed away.

80 her.
That's her.

And then this is my favorite
accessory, like decoration,

my Ouija skull.

So it has all, like,
the Ouija board markings.

So, like the alphabet.

"Yes." "No."
"Hello." "Goodbye."

And it's a skull,
so it's like

a dead person,
like super occult.

[Beth] The thing that's fun
about Pablo is that, you know,

you look at him and he's
like, such a tough guy.

And he's like, a boxer
and he's like, shredded.

And he's like--

[laughter]

He just looks
like such a dude.

And then he just moves
his body, like, hyper femme.

Oh, my God.
I'm a Gemini!

I did not expect
that from him.

I did not expect to see
that kind of fluidity

and movement and femininity

come from this presentation
of, like, manly man.

And, um, like,
both Michael and Rory are,

like,
really good at like...

seeing that and people.

Like, I don't know if Pablo
knew he had that in him.

I really don't.
I don't know.

Maybe he did
but I don't know if he did

before he started, you know,
performing in Baloney.

But Michael saw something and
brought something out of him

that I don't think
I expected to see.

And I don't think the audience
expects to see that.

Camp counselor!

-Put that away.
-Guys, camp counselor!

♪

[indistinct sweet words]

Borderline personality
disorder is a label

that follows me
everywhere which is okay,

you know, I can't escape it,
and I'm fine with it.

And it is a coming together
of a bunch of symptoms

in which there
is emotional intensity

and emotional instability,
self-harming behaviors.

For me,
it has been the thing

that has made my life
very fucking... shitty.

[chuckling]

And I remember like my 203
and like, my early 303,

like I was
very intense

and that's all I can describe,
very intense.

Like, one minute
I would, like...

be all in with
someone and I like,

loved them, whether they
were a friend or whatever.

And then the next
I'd be like, "Man, I fucking--

I hate this person.
Like, this is my sworn enemy."

And I would do things
like out myself and...

videotape it and send it
to people and being like,

"This is what you're
fucking doing to me.

Watch me, I'm going to
destroy myself because of you,

I'm going to kill myself,
I'm going to kill my dog.

And I would try
random shit."

And I-- That was hard for
people but it was also like,

the only thing
that I could think of to do.

And like, how to cope
with friendships

and stuff like that,
you know?

And I'm so, like, in the
process of working through it.

And I think, like, especially
with something like borderline,

it's like
when you have diabetes

and you just kind of need
to monitor it your whole life.

But once
you have it,

like, under control,
like, you're good.

And you have,
like, little hiccups,

just need
to like, monitor it.

Like, learn how to stand up
for myself,

learn how
to accept boundaries,

how to, like,
be okay with, like,

being anxious and like, things
that don't make me happy.

So it's just, like, a constant
work in progress, you know?

[inaudible]

[heavy breathing]

[grunting]

-[talking over each other]
-[Rory] Nate, stay on deck.

So anyways, Jules,
you and I come out.

You walk-- you walk out,
Jules, you come out.

We meet right here.
Exactly.

And I'm going to like,
I'll just mess with you.

I'll turn and I'm going
to be, like, shirt off.

Take it off. Good.
Hand it to me.

Boom.

Pants off.

-No, keep it on.
-[laughter]

And you--
you face back, right?

And then, turn around
like that and then boom.

Pool. [indistinct].

And then, I'm just gonna
[indistinct] it.

Boom.
[indistinct].

Step in. Exactly.

Pie.

No.

I think
it just started

because you were
the biggest guy in Baloney.

Yes. I think that's--
Yeah. Exactly.

That's what it was.
I was the biggest guy.

And also I had-- I had a belly
and I enjoyed my belly.

[laughs]

You [indistinct] a belly
so you can eat.

I know, you were always
getting mad at me

because my stomach's getting
smaller and smaller.

[laughs]

-[Andrew] Quit doing crunches.
-[laughs]

You know, I will start
eating more.

And we have.

I mean, we started
eating bad food.

Even Andrew got
a little chubby, too.

He doesn't have
a six pack any more.

-And he's-- Yeah.
-He didn't mean that--

And also all the Filipino
food I've been eating it,

we've been eating.

There-- there was a year
when all we ate was Spam eggs.

And whatever we could eat

that'll-- that'll
give us diabetes

and high blood pressure.

[Andrew laughs]

All the Filipino food.

[Jules] So we tone it down
with healthy pancakes now.

[laughing]

[audience laughing]

[Michael] On the next floor,
the janitor got on.

[audience laughs & cheers]

You know, I never really
thought about him

that way before
but now, I don't know,

maybe it was
the coveralls.

Maybe it was
those chips.

[audience laughs]

God, I was ready
for lunch!

[audience laughs]

He made me
an offer...

that I just
couldn't refuse.

[chip crunches seductively]

Mm.

Oh, fuck.
Is that sour cream and onion?

-My favorite.
-[audience laughs]

Get in there, boys.
Fuck, that's good. Oh, shit!

Oh, my God, doesn't it feel
so good to be bad?

Oh, that's nothing but
empty carbs, you guys, fuck.

We really shouldn't
be doing this.

Mm-ah, it's so salty
and kind of bitter.

Just like something else, you
know what I'm talking about?

Oh, fuck, does anyone know
if these are keto?

-Fuck it. I don't care.
-[chip crunches]

Nate's going to get down and
start to, like, lick the boots.

So you just sponge on,
like, you just--

Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. Just--

I keep him
from falling over.

Yeah, you hold him up and,
like, you're just sort of like.

Yeah, exactly.
You're the-- you're the beard--

You like what [indistinct]?

Mm-hm. Exactly. Yeah.

Aaron is a straight man.
He's married to a woman.

But Aaron
is one of the biggest queers

I've ever met
in my life.

There is such
a difference

between straight
and queer, and it's--

Straight people
can be queer.

And that-- and Aaron
is a perfect example of that.

And if you need to know what
makes a straight person queer,

hang out with Aaron
for a little while

and you'll find out.

So I'm Aaron Sarazan,
I'm the resident straight,

uh, the token straight
if you will, best straight

'cause we've got
a new straight now.

And he's fine too.
I guess.

Uh, so, I've been with Baloney
ever since the beginning,

since whatever year
that was--

2013, 2014, 2015--
I forget.

I've been in a fair
chunk of the shows.

I usually have historically
played the straight man

in both the sexuality and
the comedic sense of the term.

So I often will be
the foil to Pablo being stupid,

or Michael Phyllis seducing me
and sucking my toes on stage,

things like that.

And...
that's pretty much what I do.

Uh yes.
Yes and yes.

["Chopsticks"
by Euphemia Allen]

[applause]

[Aaron] How would you
describe our friendship?

[Pablo] I don't know,
I think I'd push you out

of your comfort zone
of, like, what you do.

And I, like, make you
do creative stuff--

Like, white,
cis-hetero privilege.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

-"Hetero."
-"Hetero."

-[chuckling]
—Heteroan.

No, I remember, like, when
we were doing the photo shoot

on the beach and we actually
filmed a lot of this of us,

like, running
through the waves,

like, uh,
naked generally.

And one of the shots that
Michael and Rory wanted to get

was boys in the surf,
like, making out

and rolling around
in the sand.

And like,
I kind 0--

I was kind of like,
starting to realize,

like, "I don't like,
know how to, like, do..."

To his credit,
Pablo immediately,

like,
honed in on that

and decided to just start
screaming in my face

and like drowning me
in the surf.

-[laughing] And--
-[Pablo] What?

[Aaron] No, it wa--
and it was the perfect shot.

-And it was amazing.
-[laughter]

Well, okay, so he-- here--
here-- here's my take on that.

Like, I will never cross
a boundary with you,

because
I think I know--

Because
they don't exist--

Well yeah, I think
I know your boundaries

better than you know yours
and so I would never do that

because I would always
want to be respectful.

The most important thing
for me is, um,

our friendship.

You know, and so I wouldn't
want to do anything fucking,

to like, fuck you over
and make you feel bad.

[laughing]

[Amie] Now, Pablo,
do that to the camera.

[Michael] No, don't.

No, I-- I feel like
we got enou--

I love my [indistinct]!
Ah!

-I give and I give and I give.
-[loud sucking]

And he takes
and he takes and he takes.

Ah!

Nate is more
aggressive, though.

[Nate]
It's all sour cream.

♪

[Joe] Prior to Baloney,
I was a financial analyst

over in Boston.

That job,
being in the rat race,

wearing the corporate slave
suit, doing the same thing--

Like, I was really,
really, really unhappy.

[Beth] When you're doing
a day job and you get up

and most of your
brainpower is...

um, dedicated to solving
other people's problems...

there's not much
room left to go home

and, you know...

do things
for yourself creatively.

And I remember,
like, thinking...

that I needed to do
something with my life.

Asi-- besides working.

And I worked a lot.
That's all I ever did.

And I found myself
kind of being...

For someone with,
like, not a lot going on,

someone with
not a lot to like--

As an individual,
I didn't feel

like I was getting
fulfilled in my life.

You know, my life was-- there
was nothing being done for me.

And so when I got
in with Baloney, like,

it helped me with that.

The other thing, the--
the reason that I chose Baloney

as my-- as like,
my creative outlet

was I wanted
to work on just, like,

feeling ownership
of my body

as well as, like...

my expression, like artistic
expression, you know, so...

♪

[Beth]
Before every show...

I'll just be sitting
there like, backstage.

Like, I'll look--

Usually it's Michael
standing right there

and I'm like, "Dude, Michael,
this is real life right now.

Like,
this is real life."

And it's kind of
meant as a joke.

Like, I can't believe
we actually get to do

this ridiculous thing.

And be silly
and artistic and creative

and do this in front of-- in
front of a crowd that loves it.

[audience cheering]

But I think what I came
to realize is like,

no,no,no,
that actually is real life.

Like, that to me,
that's the stuff of life.

The stuff that I was doing
in my day job, um...

felt far less
authentic than...

the performance
that we are putting on

and you know,
in front of an audience.

And the relationships
that were built.

Working with
these different actors

and being able to like,

meet and learn
and grow from other people

and make this fabulous show
that is clever and ridiculous

and funny and deep and
sometimes, you know, painful.

That's real life, right?
That's authenticity.

Not sitting
in a conference room,

pretending that you give a shit
about a product you don't.

[scintillating
piano instrumental]

Nobody wants failure
but it's a great teacher.

And taking
a corporate left turn

and having no art
in my life

showed me
what real failure was for me.

That's, I think, when I really
knew to accept something

that you knew
you weren't

and to do that
and to just live that.

So whether that meant,
you know,

I'm a gay man but I'm going
to marry a woman and be--

And live a totally hidden life
for the rest of my life.

Like that would have been
a failure for me

um, to not accept
what I knew I was

and to not accept
that I was an artist

when I knew I was,

just because I was afraid
that I couldn't make it.

But I knew
I was an artist

and I knew
I wasn't going to be happy

if I didn't do a life
with some kind of art in it.

So that's what
real failure is, I think,

is not doing the thing

that you know you need
to do for whatever reason,

letting things get in the way
of where you feel you belong.

And there's so many things,
it's a lot easier to say "No"

to yourself
than to say "Yes."

[Michael] Get a room!

-[cast] Woo!
-[applause]

-See you guys later.
-See ya.

[laughing]

-[Rory] We are good.
-[Michael] We got coffee.

-[Rory] Yes.
-[Michael] No [indistinct].

-That's my hat by the way.
-Uh, yeah.

I wear it 'cause
it flattens my hair.

[Michael] Hey guys, um...

Let's talk about things
that we should run.

We have about 40 minutes,
which is great.

Um, I definitely want to run
a bunch of act two, stuff.

So, we should do Pissant
with full volume.

All right,
now, folks, um,

while Aaron's finishing
getting cleaned up

back there and getting
his Baloney T-shirt,

I want to just take a moment to
uh, get serious for a second.

Don't worry, I'm not going to
take the party down too much.

But I do want
to just take a moment

to sincerely give
a little bit of love

to this beautiful space
that we're in right now.

Let's hear it
for the Oasis, folks.

[audience cheers & applauds]

Isn't this place
fucking amazing?

And as we head into 2020,
I think that we need

to know and love our queer
spaces more than ever.

This little queer clubhouse,
let's just say,

let's not take anything
for granted, all right, folks?

And when you have a space like
this, you have to come out

and support it
and show it love.

So thank you
for coming out

and showing love
to this space.

-Thank you.
-[audience cheers & applauds]

All right,
so if you'll indulge me, folks.

This next number
is dedicated to this space,

the Oasis, folks.

Because,
I don't know about you

but when I think
about this space,

it's-- it's
like it's um...

Well, it's just
a little, bitty,

pissant soma space,
isn't it?

You know?

Well, there ain't
all that much to see

'cause it's so
damn dark out there.

But, you-- but, you know,
there's drinking allowed.

I see you've started already.
We get a nice, queer crowd.

There's one.
Gay as it can be.

You know?

It's just
a piddly, squat,

old time cabaret space?

Isn't it?

Uh, ma'am, if you could
please put way your phone.

Thank you.

You know,
it's lots of good fun.

And maybe
some bare buns.

But there's nothing
dirty going on!

♪ Nothing dirty going on ♪

Oh, shit!

♪ We get queers from Castro ♪

♪ And straight women and men ♪
Hey, guys!

♪ We love our lesbian sisters ♪

♪ Non-binary and trans ♪

♪ And we used to get
Bachelorefie parties ♪

♪ But we don't do
Those anymore ♪

♪ Because [indistinct]said
"Go fuck yourself!" ♪

♪ That's what
The marina's for ♪

♪ It's just a little bitty
Pissant soma space ♪

♪ Nothing much to see ♪

♪ There's drinking allowed
We get a nice, queer crowd ♪

♪ Gay as it can be ♪

♪ It's just a piddly, squat
And old time soma space ♪

♪ Put away your phone ♪

♪ Just lots of good will
And maybe one small thrill ♪

♪ But there's nothing
Dirty going on ♪

So yeah, this is where we
end up, so it's like--

♪ Nothing dirty going on ♪

-Hit this and--
-No.

-No?
-[clap] Nothing.

And it needs to be here
and then it's just still here?

♪ But there's nothing
Dirty going on ♪

♪ Keep those butt holes
Clean, boys ♪

♪ Please don't show that shit ♪

♪ And gentlemen
Put away your balls ♪

♪ And ladies
Don't flash your tits ♪

♪ It's the state
of California ♪

♪ And they got
some stupid rules ♪

♪ Like, because they're
Drinking booze out there ♪

♪ You can't show
Your geni—tools-- ♪

Foom!
'Cause that's the penis puppet.

♪ Yeah, because you're drinking
Booze out there ♪

♪ We can't show
Our geni—tools ♪

[Ryan] Start em' off
Rory, let's hear it!

[Michael] Any attitude you came
in with get rid of right now.

Andrew!

I can't stand drunk barfing,
this isn't holy cow.

Pablo!

Anyone buying drinks here
better be real sure to tip.

♪ And any time
You use the loo ♪

♪ You better not be
Sucking dick ♪

Now, speaking
of the tip.

Tips are something that we need
to get our daily business done.

Now, are you
listening good?

It's part
of the social contract

you agreed to when you
came out to have some fun.

Just ask before you touch.
And as for my [indistinct].

And any questions
you may have

about the way
we run this place.

Don't gripe or whine
on Yelp or Facebook.

You know what?
Just tell us face to face.

We're open-minded.
Actually, you know what?

On second thought,
just get the fuck out.

The door's that a-way.

♪ We bring you booze and
Great shows and a community ♪

♪ We keep your mind off
The outside world cis-unity ♪

♪ Feel free to clap
At every opportunity ♪

♪ And we will get along ♪

Okay, bitch. [indistinct]
A bit of that.

All right, boys,
big finish!

Big send off!
And another pig line!

Pig line 2.0!

♪ It's just a little bitty
Pissant soma space ♪

Point those toes!

♪ Nothing much to see ♪

♪ There's drinking allowed ♪

♪ We get a nice, queer crowd ♪

♪ Gay as it can be ♪

Step it up, boys!

♪ It's just a piddly, squat ♪

♪ And old time soma space ♪

It's like fucking,
"Cats" up here, you know?

♪ Ma'am, put away your phone ♪

♪ Just lots of good will
And maybe one small thrill ♪

♪ But there's nothing
Dirty going on ♪

♪ It's just a little bitty
Pissant soma space ♪

♪ Nothing much to see ♪

♪ There's drinking allowed
We get a nice, queer crowd ♪

♪ Gay as it can be ♪

♪ It's just a piddly, squat ♪

♪ And old time soma space ♪

♪ Put away your phone ♪
C'mon!

♪ Just lots of good will
And maybe one small thrill ♪

♪ Just lots of good folks
And maybe some dick jokes ♪

♪ Just lots of good hole
And maybe one big pole ♪

♪ But there's nothing
Dirty going on ♪

♪

♪ Nothing dirty going on ♪

[laughter]

Cute!

And we'll work out traffic.
I ain't worried about it.

Great job, you guys.
Great, great work.

[rock music from speaker]

Woo!

That's a lot of content.
Great. Great job. Cool.

Let's take just
a breather real quick.

Grab a little sip
if you need to.

And then we just need
to film that number.

So we'll do it one more time
and then we're set.

♪

[Michael] Well, hello!
Hi. Welcome.

I'm so happy
to see you.

We got a car
full of delightful people.

Welcome!

Welcome to Suds and Studs,
it's the big, gay car wash.

We're going
to make it at least

slightly more clean
than it was before. [laughs]

You know, it's more show
than wash, really.

Bless their hearts.

So, yeah, it's $30.
You can do cash--

[laughter]

[Michael on loud speaker]
Name a ginger!

Whoo!

Um, yeah, it's been a really
hard year for all performers.

You know, us,
especially with a show

about intimacy
and reaching the audience.

And, you know,
touching people

and talking
about getting together.

So we haven't been able
to do any of our shows

so we've brought
the show outside

to socially distanced.

You stay in your bubble,
people pull up

and they have these
huge smiles on their face.

They're just thrilled
before it even begins,

just to be, like,
out of the house

and supportive
of their community.

So it's been awesome.
We always have a line.

[Rory over loud speaker]
I know who's next.

This came to me
in the middle of the night

one night
that I thought we still need

to engage people
in a Baloney way.

And be in their faces
but a way that was,

like, safe and exciting,
still with Baloney.

So this was born.

So yeah, I mean,
it forced us to get creative.

We've been artists
our whole lives and...

always had to be scrappy
and figure things out.

And this, COVID 19
was a major blow

but it was
just another setback

that forced us
to have to get creative again.

Yeah, I think it's exactly
what the community needs

and it's just what
we needed too.

Just being gay in the sunshine
feels so good right now.

[Ryan over loud speaker]
Big, gay car wash!

Come on, come and check out
our big, gay car wash.

[indistinct]

We promise you!

[Ryan over loud speaker]
[indistinct].

Look at everything
we're bringing you.

It's amazing to watch, like,
all of this happening today

and like, to watch
queer community again

come be able to provide
what we love to do.

And-- and provide like,
a place of just, like, joy.

When we support that,
we just support like,

the-- the--
the character of a city

because like,
that's what we bring.

Those are the people
we foster here.

-[server] One Merman juice.
-[Pablo] Ooh, Merman.

[server] And one
corn dog for you, sir!

[Pablo] Thank you so much!

[Ryan] There's always, like,
a landmarks and the things

that, in a broad
scope to find a city.

But the things, I think
when you have the best time,

are the--
the clubs you go to,

the restaurants
that give you an experience.

And then if other people
want to come

and really experience
that city you come

to the arts
and culture spaces

because that's like,
where the heart is.

[sultry, seductive
electronic piano & guitar]

♪

[music continues]

[music stops]

[indistinct chatter]

-[Rory] Here, cheers guys!
-[Michael] Yeah!

[excited cheering]

I love this!
So proud of you guys!

That's good television.

[man] To two marker.

It's tricky to explain.

Baloney, uh...

It's a gay
all-male revue.

I can't. [laughs]

You really haven't lived

until you've, like,
simulated a sex act on stage

in front
of a live audience.

You just, like,
once you do that,

you can kind of, like,
do anything, right?

You know,
become a little bit fearless.

I want to be like--

Wickie-wickie-
wickie-wickie-wah!

♪

Thurs.

[all] Thurs... day...

Kawaii!

[fast jazzy piano instrumental]

♪

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music stops]