All language subtitles for The.Queens.2019.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

Here's
our fourth runner-up,

Miss Alfonso from Chicago.

Let's hear it for her,
ladies and gentlemen.

Our third runner-up
in the 1967 Nationals,

from Manhattan, Miss Crystal,
ladies and gentlemen.

Let's hear it for the third
runner-up of the 1967 Nationals.

Well, I think
the more compelling

movie to watch is
not when, okay,

the end of the pageant comes,
the winner is announced,

and everyone shakes hands and
oh, good job, good job to you.

But here
is the only winner

in the 1967 Nationals,

that queen which will
reign over America.

Harlow, ladies and gentlemen,
queen of the 1967 Nationals.

The more
compelling movie to watch

is the bitch who thought she
should have won doesn't win

and gets mad and rips the
fucking wig off the other girl

and storms off stage
and throws a fit.

Like Crystal LaBeija
in "The Queen."

It was a good film.

She looked bad.

Shit, she looked bad!

And no way or what you
say could do about it.

Look at her makeup,
it's terrible.

Take a picture of
me next to Harlow

and tell me who's
more beautiful.

Oh, get a picture
with me and Harlow

and see which is more
beautiful, darling.

Now darling, I don't mean
to take this out on you.

You're a very lovely girl, you
deserve everything lovely--

But she does not deserve--
But she does not

look beautiful tonight!

But she wasn't looking
beautiful tonight.

She doesn't equal me,
look at her makeup.

It's terrible!

They were reenacting

pageant for a documentary.

No, we were reenacting--

"The Queen."

Andy Warhol's "The Queen."

Phone that one, too.

And her explanation for
why she wanted the money.

To put it in the bank.

It's all for publicity,
darling, and that's why

none of the true beauties--
That's bad publicity!

None of the true beauties came,

because they knew they
wouldn't win, darling.

Monique told me not to come,

that's why Monique
is not here in dress,

because she is,
Monique, darling.

She's
a friend of ours.

Monique was not here
as a friend of yours.

She is a friend of mine.

Oh, and I see you're
running your camera, dear.

Oh, you're not gonna
use my name, no darling.

You're not--

I'll sue the fool.

That's fucking real.

Well, not for
equal rights, just for extra.

I want both bathrooms.

Who's happy?

Art and camera?

Love it.
I want a male bathroom

and a female bathroom so
I can rape your children.

Take two.

Season.

I'm Sharon Needles
and people may know me

as the winner of season four
of "RuPaul's Drag Race,"

or just America's
biggest handful.

All
right, it's rolling.

All right.

Jinkx
Monsoon, take one, marker.

We're rolling.

Rolling, please.

So tell me your.

No.

Tell me your
name and how you are known,

what people know you for.

My name is Jinkx Monsoon

and I'm most
well-known for winning

season five of "RuPaul's
Drag Race."

Man, I heard
bestiality jokes on there.

Right, they talk
about like, fucking anuses

and like, I don't know,
fucking gay sex, I don't.

Okay, last
question because I'm sure.

We should tuck

a little piece of hair back in.

One piece of my
hair is out of place?

Burn all of the footage.

I can't imagine!

This is so funny to
me because it's like,

where is the line
that it becomes like.

Are you actually
sticking to those?

All
of your managers

want me to send
you down, but okay.

Where is the line that my
ridiculous nest of hair,

one part of it becomes,
oh, that's too much,

we have to stop.

It's like, I just
fucking put frizzed-out,

ridiculous hair on the
top of smooth hair.

Where is the line
that it's like,

that's too much,
it's out of place.

We found the line.

It's that one little stick-out.

Okay,
before I send you down.

Further request.

Am I looking at
you or the camera?

Me.

Okay, my name's Alaska
Thunderfuck 5000

and I'm the queen of Earth.

So audacious.

No, I've been saying
that like, no.

People know me, I'm a drag
queen, I was on TV once.

Did you--

Hmm?

Standard
shot of the documentary,

eyes on.

Oh, no shit.

I'm sorry if I was disrespectful
to you in any way before.

That kind of like, constantly
irreverent thing does get old.

Like, if you're just
kind of a dickhead

all the time, you know?

No, no, I mean.

That's
fine, we're working.

There we go.

I think I got it.

Oh, it's a different
color, fuck.

Can you tell me,

is it totally uncomfortable if
your knees are right on here?

You want me to kneel?

No.

Just put your legs back over.

Okay, oh, I see.

The image was too seductive.

They're not even gonna
listen to what I'm saying.

Barbara, we're looking good.

We're good to go.

Get the horse dart out and
just shoot her in the neck.

Is this a romance book
jacket photograph?

I'm trashy but thoughtful, mm.

What about this?

Yeah, I wonder where
my wheelchair went.

This'll do.

I don't know, I've
never done drag though,

'cause I'm a woman,
biologically, from birth.

Came out a woman and still that.

Sound like a man.

So is that--

What would you do if
I pulled down my pants

and had a
beautifully-manicured vagina?

♪ This is my hair

♪ This is my hair

♪ This is my hair

♪ This is my hair

♪ I don't wear wigs

♪ This is my hair

♪ This is my hair

♪ This is my hair,
I don't wear wigs ♪

♪ This is my hair,
I don't wear wigs ♪

♪ This is my hair,
I don't wear wigs ♪

♪ This is my hair,
I don't wear wigs ♪

Thank you guys so much,
let's have an amazing show.

Congratulations, everyone,

this is the largest show
that you guys have ever done.

Oh.
Woo-hoo!

No pressure, no pressure!

This is the largest
show you will ever do.

I just wanna thank everybody,
first and foremost.

This is the largest
show we have ever done.

It is.

And it warms my very black
heart that it's right here

in my home away from
home, London town!

Please welcome to the stage

the one and only,
Miss Jinkx Monsoon!

♪ Darling, your
love, oh I fear ♪

♪ Just like everything
this time of year ♪

♪ It burns red and green

♪ Should I stop

♪ Should I go

♪ Is the season in
your heart as cold ♪

When I was a kid I was
very self-conscious

about how big my lips were.

♪ Now the holidays
may come between ♪

My mom always said,
"One day you're gonna be

"really happy that you
have very big lips,

"and you're gonna make
some girl very happy, too."

And that girl was me.

♪ When your love
is red and green ♪

♪ When your love
is red and green ♪

♪ Through your Santa
Claus and your tree ♪

♪ Do you ever even think of me

♪ Some days I just don't know

♪ My menorah is the same

♪ But could never
even hold a flame ♪

I don't think I ever
thought that it was possible

to be a world-famous drag queen

at this level when I started it.

Now there's many, many
famous drag queens

creating a lot of
really great artwork

and a lot of them are
my very good friends.

♪ Well, someday

My drag before
going on "Drag Race"

was intentionally half-baked,

because I wanted all of my
focus to be on the performance.

♪ A present for, a
stocking for me ♪

It was a messy,
slapped-together kind of look.

Ru just said to me, "You
know, you have so much

"to offer with your character.

"If you want to be this
quirky, tacky, disheveled mess,

"you have to do it at 100 %."

♪ You

♪ Darling, your
love, oh I fear ♪

Even though I am still
very quirky and tacky,

I think I'm as gorgeous
as I've ever been,

nowadays.

More gorgeous than
I've ever been.

The most gorgeous version
of myself.

♪ Oh, darling, like you do

♪ When your love

♪ Is red and green

Generally when
I'm getting ready,

like when I'm starting
my makeup right now,

all I wanna do is just not
have to do it.

It takes so long.

I love the final product

and I love the way
I look in the end.

I just hate the process.

Doing this six nights a week,

covering yourself in makeup
and painting yourself,

it just gets a little tedious.

Other times when makeup artists
have tried to do my makeup,

I'm really unsatisfied
with it in the end

because professional
makeup artists who do like,

fashion editorial
makeup and stuff,

when you ask them to do
a drag queen's makeup,

I never think they
put enough makeup on.

And there's some
drag queens out there

who can just wear a
little bit of makeup

and go for the
more natural look,

but I really just don't
like that on myself.

I like to look like a
full transformation,

facial reconstruction
has taken place.

Let's say all these
front bright lights,

instead of 50 %,
let's just cut these.

We'll take, yeah.

So we can walk on in
this kind of dramatic.

This is the preset.

Yeah.
Mine's soft lights.

Yeah.

So let's leave it like this
until we get center stage.

So you kind of just barely
see us in this light.

Then when we hit center stage,

that's when you can
bring the lights up,

maybe we'll start 'em at 50.

Actually, right
there, that's great.

Just kinda dim.

'Cause we sing "O Holy Night"
and it's really somber.

♪ O holy night

♪ The stars are
brightly shining ♪

Drag queens, they say
whatever is on their mind

and they don't give a shit
if it's politically correct

or if it offends people.

You know, drag is a satire

and a social commentary.

The character of Jinkx
is supposed to be

kind of boozy and alcoholic.

I like to make jokes like
I'm drunk even if I'm not,

because then if
something goes wrong,

well, you can blame
it on being drunk,

even if you aren't,
you know?

And then they kind of expect
that out of a drag queen.

Normally, a drag
show is just in place

to try to sell more
booze, so it's like,

kind of just expected that the
drag queen's gonna be drunk,

so I kind of just give
them what they want.

Like when I started
drag at age 15,

lots of people acted like I was

the most negative stereotype
of the gay community.

And now, thanks to there
being a reality TV show

all about drag, drag
queens are respected

in a way that they really
weren't when I started drag.

♪ Divine

♪ Oh, now

♪ Oh, now

♪ Oh, now

♪ Ho, now

♪ Baby

♪ O night divine

I saw my first drag
show at age 14,

and I feel like it
changed everything for me.

Like, it changed my whole world

when I saw my first drag show.

♪ They said, you
gotta give it to him ♪

♪ He never was tardy

♪ No one as sorry, no
one as sorry as me ♪

♪ Ya-da-da-di

♪ You hung up and
left me there ♪

♪ To put on a show
all in despair ♪

♪ No one as sorry, no
one as sorry as me ♪

♪ We'll never get to
walk on the beach ♪

I was not a normal boy,

but I also came out
at a very early age.

I was way too feminine

and way too
expressive to hide it.

'Cause even when I
thought I was trying

really hard to hide it,

everyone still saw a
little femme-y gay boy.

So when I was like,
well if people

are gonna just assume
that about me anyway,

then I should stop worrying
about playing this game.

It was trying, for a lot of time

and it was hard to go through

the American public
school system like that,

but the more that I
just kind of realized,

you know, there's
no hiding it with me

and I'll be so much happier
when I stop trying to hide it

or trying to be someone else,

the better my life got.

♪ Someday you'll meet another
gal who'll throw you away ♪

♪ And she won't feel sorry

♪ Nearly as sorry as me

Everyone, I'd like to
introduce you to my friends,

Oscar Wilde and Teeth.

I mean, look at those teeth!

Jinkx is very heavily
based on my mom.

My mom doesn't
like that.

I don't know about you, but
I would be very embarrassed

to have fake teeth
at such a young age,

you know, I would, I would.

Oh, shit.

Oh, dammit.

I'm not trying to say my
mom was a terrible mom.

She had plenty of great moments.

But she also caused
a lot of problems

for me in my teenage years.

My mom went through
a phase of alcoholism

and went through a phase
of just being very selfish.

And my way of working
through that frustration

was to create a
character out of it.

Mom, I can remember the words.

I'm a professional.

The reason I'm able to
be a positive person

and able to keep my mind
focused on, you know,

improving the world
is because I get

all of my anger out on stage.

But there are plenty
of people out there

who do not adhere to one
strict gender, you know.

There are people
who are genderless.

There are people who,

they prefer to be referred
to as genderfluid.

They prefer to be referred
to as gender non-binary.

They prefer not to be
referred to at all.

Yeah, friends, I prefer
not to be referred to.

Yeah, it's very awkward
when we go to parties.

I have to say, "Have
you met my friend?"

And we have to respect that.

We have to respect it.
We have to respect it!

I, myself, I'm much more
enlightened than most of you.

For me, the best thing is when

I'm fully done with
makeup and people,

it used to happen more
before I was on TV,

but people would
think that I was

a real woman trying
to be a drag queen.

Like I was a real
woman painted up

and trying to
impersonate a drag queen.

And I liked that
because it made me feel

like I had fully
transformed into a character

where people really didn't know

if I was a boy
dressed as a woman

or a woman dressed as a woman.

I cannot become any more
masculine than I am now.

♪ Coffee and wine

The older I get, the
more I'm going to start

looking like a man, and
that thought terrifies me.

My ability to shift
between the genders

is the thing that's kept
me from hating my body.

We have been
conditioned for so long

to believe that because
of your genitalia,

it's natural for you to
act this way or the other,

and to do anything outside
of that is unnatural.

It used to drive me nuts
trying to feel confident

and feel good about
myself dressed as a boy,

because ding-dong,
I'm not a boy.

You know what, that's
not my inner truth.

♪ Coffee and wine

♪ To give life meaning

I feel a responsibility,

not just as a drag queen
but as a gay celebrity.

You have to be awake, if
you want to be an artist

and not just someone
pushing booze.

I have a much younger audience,

fan base, than I ever expected.

There's gotta be some substance

and there's gotta be
something going on in the show

so that that 14-year-old
boy in the audience

who's seeing their
first drag show,

I wanna make sure
there's something

that they can take home with
them, that means something.

♪ Keep me in the java

♪ And

♪ Wine

Oh, thank you, thank you.

Well.
So.

What happens is, is that
when you're in drag,

you take your penis
and your nuts,

and you squish
them in your hands

and then you pull them all
the way back between your legs

and stuff them up
in your butthole.

And then you put
on a pair of like,

a fucking roll of duct tape,

and five pairs of panties which
are seven sizes too small,

and then you sit around
in six pairs of tights,

in high-heel shoes,
scrunching your toes,

and then you put a
wig on your head,

which is like a thousand degrees
and it's on really tight,

and then you have
a face that feels

like you have a clay mask on.

And then when you're
sitting around

not doing anything
for several hours,

it starts to get
annoying and painful.

And then you have a diva fit.

Hey, can we set this
fucking shelf, please?

I'm fucking over it.

Michelle,
can you start the show?

Can someone start
the fucking show?

We've been fucking
waiting around.

It's like fucking 11 o'clock,

and we haven't started
the fucking show?

All right.
Well, fuck!

You sell my T-shirt.

I didn't sign
one single fucking headshot.

In a lot of the--

Sorry.

It's the corset.

We're like witches in
more ways than one.

If you've ever seen the
Anjelica Huston movie "Witches,"

where she's like, "You
may remove your wigs,"

and they all pull off their wigs

and they have these
horrible bald heads.

They kick off their shoes

and they have these
big block feet.

It's like, that's
about drag queens.

I mean like, half the
extras in that movie

are men dressed as women
and I think Roald Dahl

in his infinite wisdom
just knew

what it's like to
be a drag queen

and wrote a book about it
and called it "The Witches."

As glamorous as this all
looks, it's fucking painful.

It's really painful.

To create the
hyper-Western concept

of the perfect female form,

we are constantly
suffering from fever.

Our bodies are constantly
confined by spandex,

which causes us to get very
hot and to sweat a lot.

And then all the things we
use to manipulate our bodies

into the female form is
absorbing all of that,

so the most
beautiful drag queen,

just right underneath
their crust,

is nothing but disgust.

When I'm super busy in drag,

I don't shower with
any regularity.

It's like pulling teeth to
get me to take a shower.

When you're on the
road and you're doing

show after show after
show after show,

you don't have washing machines
to wash your tights, so--

So, it looks really
lovely, but like,

you're really glad this movie

isn't in smell-o-vision,
'cause it's like--

Eventually you start smelling
like Gouda and corn chips.

Chicken for a few days

and then it starts smelling
like something is wrong.

We smell like bile.

Like, filth.

Like a mole person.

Like it could get
somebody else ill.

We're disgusting.

I can't believe anyone fucks us.

♪ Once upon a time

♪ Science opened up the door

You know, I get put into a box

of being a horror
queen or an Elvira.

This is a stereotype that I
personally am not offended by.

♪ Touch the creatures
down below ♪

♪ And they grew up in a way

You know, and I
kind of, you know,

no pun intended, dug my
own grave on that one.

♪ Supernature

♪ Supernature

♪ Supernature

♪ Supernature

When I was growing up
and like, going out,

I never did the gay thing.

You know, I primarily
was a feral gay rat

raised by street punks.

♪ Supernature

♪ Supernature

♪ Supernature

The more gay culture has
gotten, you know, more accepted,

gay is not as punk
as it used to be,

so I wanna create a punk,
cool, underground drag queen.

♪ Supernature

Oh my goth.

Can I get a fatherfucking
hail Satan out here?

Hail Satan!

And I don't believe in God

and I don't believe
in the devil,

but I do believe in you and me.

Day gigs should be illegal.

Yeah, this shit
should be illegal.

We are designed for the night.

Oh, God.

Thank you so much, it's
my Halloween costumes.

Feel free to try
them on if you want.

Thank you so much, bye.

Do you have alts?

For Halloween, never.

I'm the fucking
queen of Halloween.

Well, once Elvira dies.

But I'm
looking at your toenails

and I'm concerned.

You should be.

Is
that from dancing?

This is just old
black nail polish,

but our pantyhose
constrict toes so much

that they're full of
callouses and corns.

The what to wear's always
difficult in a day gig.

Why?

Because I think
costumes on drag queens

during the day looks dirty.

It looks, I mean, it
sounds oxymoronic,

but it looks too much.

In a spotlight you
look like Barbie,

and in the sunlight you
look like a birthday cake.

I did find a bag of
cocaine in my

toothbrush bag though today,

which is kind of a shock.
Did you fly with it?

Oops.

Oh my God.

I don't know anything
about that, Occifer.

The fun about drag is that
you can escape yourself

in a million different people.

I'm every woman,
they're all in me.

Oh, day gigs.

It's just not right.

The great thing about
Pittsburgh is that

they don't give a fuck
who I am, you know?

Right after "Drag Race" it was

a sensation for maybe an hour.

Why the fuck you
all up this early?

This is torture.

After "Drag Race" I
had the opportunity

to move to Los
Angeles like a lot of

my "RuPaul's Drag Race"
sisters do, or New York,

or you know, even get
out of the country,

but I look at Pittsburgh
the way John Waters

looks at Baltimore,
because it's like

an escape from all
of this, you know?

Would you like some
of my vodka, though?

Sure.

When I say that's a whole
glass of vodka, I'm not lying.

Go ahead, have a little sip.

Pittsburgh's just an
old industrial town

where you can still smoke in
the bars, and I love that.

So I dropped out
my freshman year.

Well, I didn't really drop out,

my counselor brought
in my parents

and said it might be
best if I left the school

because my visuals were a distraction to the other students.

So I left high school,
then I came to Pittsburgh.

We were just a group of
misfit Pittsburgh drag queens.

We became successful
quite quickly

because I think what
we were doing on stage

was reflecting who they were.

It's a rough, sloppy,
rusted industrial town,

so I think they liked
that we were rough

and punk and more in-your-face.

You know, it was never
just a pretty dress

and the lipstick, you know,

there was always a
political, a transgressive,

or a hyper-art side
to what we were doing.

♪ Hail Satan

Just because we're drag queens

doesn't mean we all
come from the same pasts

and we're on the same path.

I didn't want to be RuPaul,
I wanted to be Divine.

You know, I was
introduced to drag

by being something
really bonkers and scary.

I call it visual terrorism.

9/11 in high heels.

Gay people are the one minority
people don't really fear.

They can scare normal culture
and that's fun, and needed.

Red wine before noon is gross.

Not gross enough not to drink.

Not a real drag queen
unless you have no toes

and they're spilling over,
ready to commit suicide.

It's called a suicide toe.

Ready to jump.

How clockable is
this lace today?

Like, right up on it,
yeah, you can see it,

but if you move away you can't.

It's a classic lace, then?

Yeah.
Okay.

I don't wear costumes
in a day gig.

A full face of
makeup, of course.

I had the best night's
sleep last night, though.

You got in last night?

Got in last night,
watched this documentary

about child sex offenders.

Oh, I bet you were in heaven.

I was like, "Oh,
why is this on A&E,

"they're not describing enough."

Now if I found a time machine

and I had sex with
my six-year-old self,

would that be illegal?

Six-year-old?

I wasn't even that cute at six.

Not like--

You had only had half the
procedures done by then.

You wanna go to a
pageant tonight?

Sonique is performing.

Is it in this town?

No, it's in downtown L.A.

I have a 5:30 a.m.
and it's Chad's--

But it's a T-girl pageant.

I know, I know, I know, I know.

Caitlyn Jenner--

Caitlyn Jenner is
gonna be judging it.

I'll be there.

My shoe is slowly
filling up with blood.

Oh, day gigs.

My foot fell asleep.

This is corporal punishment.

Can we get a golf cart?

Or any sport cart.

A go-kart.

A big wheel.

If Caitlyn Jenner was here
we'd have a golf cart.

Think it's the only
thing she's legally

allowed to drive nowadays.

Sit on the outside.

Maybe not.

Okay, this is like
the Flintstones.

I'm like the fucking steak
in the Flintstones, girl.

Oh my god, how tall am I?

I'm the tallest
person I've ever.

You good?

Yeah, I think so.

I need that
mic wet, wet, wet.

Wet as can be.

Yeah, give
me as much reverb

as you can.
Reverb to the point of echo.

I don't want that, though.

Tell them to shut it off.

Every time I get ready
and I look in the mirror

I always say, "I'm never
gonna look better than this,"

and then one year from
that I'll look back at that

and I'll be like, "Oh God,
what was she thinking?"

Then think that is the current
standard of perfection.

It's never gonna get
any better than that.

If I think I ever felt like
there was no more growth

in this art form then
I'd probably quit.

♪ I'm not alone

I like it to just
reflect the insanity

that's going on up here.

Then it also proves
to be very therapeutic

for me to perform it live,

because I think the stage
is a great punching bag.

I mean, it's more
legal than killing people.

♪ You're casting your
spell and I'm hypnotized ♪

♪ You're a hellhound

I don't have the most fans,

but I think I have
the best fans.

People who are fans
of Sharon Needles

are usually introverted
and damaged in some way

and I most definitely put that

in my music and
in my songwriting.

♪ You're my Dracula,
la, la, la, la ♪

Happy Halloween, hail Satan,

and as always,
kill your parents!

Is there anywhere
for Grandma to sit?

There's a bench over here.

How've you been, I haven't
seen you in a while?

I
know, since 340 I think?

Yeah, since 340.

Yeah.

Did you guys enjoy the show?

Sorry it was so
short, but you know,

that's festivals, you know?

It was nuts in there.

They throw you
on and they throw you off.

But the sound was really good.

No, it was great.

Yeah, now I have to
pack up real quick,

grab all my Halloween
costumes for my tour,

just got sent in
at the front desk,

and tonight I'm meeting one
of my all-time biggest icons.

Which one?

You'll never guess.

I probably won't.

Guess, Caitlyn Jenner.

You're not.
Oh my god.

Say that again.

I love her, Caitlyn Jenner.
Caitlyn Jenner!

Oh.
Where are you meeting her?

One of my biggest icons
that I really identify with.

You know, they all
love it at first

and then change their
mind real quick.

I don't wanna call her an idol

because there's nothing
about her that I want to be,

but she's certainly one of

the biggest icons
of our current time.

You ever seen a
transsexual be so hated on?

It proves that
transgender people

are just like us,
we can hate them.

Times.
I hate everyone, so.

'Cause
people think they're

doing it for attention.
They are a-changin'.

Happy Halloween, guys.

Bye, Aaron.
Thank you so much.

Tell all my babies hi.

I will.

I'm still looking
for your ice pops

but I think they're
discontinued.

My what?
Ice pops.

My fans know that I have
an obsession with ice pops.

And cocaine.

And you're not
even with a drag queen now.

False eyelash, shit bitch.

It was their
cool mean girl table

and then me, The Princess--

It was not the cool table!
And Madame LaQueer.

Let me ask you a question,
like a witchy question.

Do you think of me as a friend?

Yes, of course, I think of you

as one of my best
friends, actually.

Good.

One of my best sisters.

Good, then we're
on the same page.

I thought I wanted to fuck him

but I know that that's just
never a good idea with us

because I have a
hard time maintaining

an erection for
people I respect.

Yeah, I mean, I always say
if I didn't use dating apps,

if I didn't use Grindr,
I wouldn't meet anyone,

because literally when I'm
on tour the schedule is,

get on the plane
early in the morning,

get to the hotel, maybe have
a couple hours to nap or eat,

then immediately
start getting in drag.

So I meet promoters and I
meet like, other drag queens

and I meet go-go boys and stuff,

but I don't meet
many real people

who aren't in the
business these days

unless I use a dating app.

I've realized it
is a lot trickier,

especially because gay, I
always forget about that.

It shrinks the population down.

If they know me,
do they only wanna

hang out with me
because they're a fan?

Sometimes I meet guys
who don't know me

and they just
really don't get it.

I try to explain
my career to them

and they have zero idea what
I'm talking about.

I'm starving for
affection, Sharon.

Nobody will fuck me.

Oh my god!
That's not true.

Well, don't sound desperate.
Yes it is true,

are you gonna fuck me, bitch?

I don't think so.

Is Jiggles gonna--

Violet was tweeting that
she wants to fuck you--

For the fame.

Is this bitch gonna
spread her fat rolls

all over my beautiful
fucking body, bitch?

You leave my bakery
alone, bitch.

Are you gonna fucking
stuff my hungry mouth

with your delicious
Asia rolls, bitch?

No.

Go fuck yourself.

Leave her sweet
buns out of this.

That's kind of what
it is, it's like,

all right, that guy
looks like he could test

the challenge of my
whims in changing

and like, ridiculous
expectations on every level.

That's gotta be a
really special person.

Who's gonna graduate from
the university of my pussy,

summa cum laude, and gonna
donate to the alumni fund?

Not a lot of people
at this, you know,

small, unaccredited college
in the mountains.

You gotta let nature
take its course.

Will you give me a kiss?

Jiggles?

Nope.

Lift
your fucking mouth.

No!

Kiss me.

Kiss me.
No!

That is rape.
Kiss my gross-ass

smoker mouth.
That is rape.

No, I'm saying kiss me.

Rape!
What can I do?

No, don't shout rape when
you're not getting raped.

That's a lie, kiss me.

Kiss me, you fucking fat bitch.

No, I don't want his curse.
Why?

'Cause I'm not a lesbian.

Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.

I'm not gonna turn around.

I'm gonna endanger
this whole vehicle

until you kiss me.
Oh my God!

Give her a sweet little
sister peck on the lips.

Are you not my
fucking sister, bitch?

Okay.

Thank you, God.

Now we'll do it on
the lips next time

when my dingaling's
out and hard.

How the fuck you doin', London?

Listen, I'm a junkie and I'm
not gonna apologize for it.

I'm also growing out my hair.

Does it look nice?

Thanks so much.

Listen, the holidays
for me are all about,

you know, good food,
great relationships,

and then, well, trying
not to fuck my dad.

And it's hard, you know, 'cause
he's a really handsome guy,

but that's neither
here nor there.

These
days, would you say

that you're straight-up
just a comedian?

No, no, no.

I'm an auteur who moonlights
as a romance novelist,

but just hasn't
written any books yet.

Listen, something they never
teach in school no more

is that when Dorothy went to Oz,

she had to have sex with
the Tin Man, the Scarecrow,

but the Lion wouldn't fuck
her 'cause he was gay.

Did you know that?

Wait, are you 14 years old?

Fuck.

I feel like I'm just
a Jessica Simpson

with the heart of Bill Cosby

and the legs of
Jackie Joyner-Kersee.

That's not true, I don't
know what that means.

♪ I had a shot of Vicodin

Wait, what?

What the fuck is that?

I mean, I don't
know, do you think,

I mean, I'm not a comedian.

What do comedians do?

They have specials for one hour

where they wear a boring
outfit with a microphone

and they say, "You guys,
when I fuck my wife's pussy

"it just goes split,
splatter, splatter.

"It makes all these
splashy noises,

"and I don't know how
to feel about that."

I mean, that's
every comedy special

I've ever seen, but you know.

I don't know.

I like making people laugh
but sometimes I know,

it's not that I
know that I'm funny,

it's that what I'm
saying is interesting

and I know that, even
if I'm in a room,

I'm just in the wrong room.

But I know there's a right room.

Happy New Year's to you.

They say new year, new you,

and I have three New
Year's resolutions.

I wanna find my dead cat
and give it a proper burial,

I wanna call up
Denise on the phone

and say I'm sorry
for calling her

a cunt in front of her dead
mom, and the last thing,

I gotta start flossin'
again, but it's hard.

A satirist?

Can we try?

No.

You're so hung up on labels,
why can't I just be a woman?

Don't put me in a box.

You can put me in a
shopping cart but not a box.

That's comedy.

You guys should really think
about not drinking so much.

Good night!

Which witch is which?

All right, so I can
actually not sing,

but I like to sing
in characters.

Good.
Could we do like,

♪ Camptown races
sing that song ♪

♪ Doo-dah

No, seriously.
Yeah.

Like, old timey.

Yes.
Okay.

Am I playing this?

Am I playing and we're singing?

Is that what's happening?
I don't know.

We're gonna be
eating sushi, too.

Amen to that.

Did you go to college for
like, performance or anything?

Yeah, performance art.

For real?
I used to be embarrassed

about it and now
I'm literally making

thousands and thousands
of dollars to do it,

so I'm not embarrassed anymore.

But it took a long time not
to be embarrassed about it.

What'd you do, did you
do stuff at like, ART?

No, no, no, I did
stuff like this.

Like in a '90s beat, I'm like,

huh, huh!

That's it, to like,

dentist drills.
Just C-curve central.

Like to dentist drills.

No, actually, we're
digitizing footage

from my stuff I did in school

and it was actually, looking
back, it's kinda cool.

Yeah?

But so I am in the
weird transition part

where I'm famous
for being a person

and now wanting to be
famous for being an artist.

When Hollywood makes you,
your grip snaps like a twig

on real and not real,
important and not important.

Yeah?

You know, that
scares me to death.

You know, generally
speaking, well,

I feel like a lunatic sometimes,

but other times I feel bad,

I don't give a shit I
feel like a lunatic,

and then I wanna retreat and
just maintain, and I hate that.

It's insidious 'cause
guess what allows

that kind of retreat, money.

Sure.

Eccentric people are eccentric.

If you're homeless
you're just crazy--

'Cause they've
never had to fight

or do anything more.

If you're eccentric with
no money, that's crazy.

No, crazy with no
money is just crazy.

Crazy with money is eccentric.

Yeah, that's it.

But you have to be
functioning to be eccentric.

Like, you have to actually,

meet at 7:00, you gotta
show up at least by 8:00.

You know what I mean?

Or otherwise, people
cut you loose.

I have to be a clown or
like, a goofball goon

because there's no
other way to do it.

It's so grim!

Look at me, I am
an insane person.

Thank God this is happening
because it legitimizes it.

♪ Jesus Christ

But fuckin' eh.

Barbara, I call you back.

It's like, nuts.

That's why I feel like,
oh, whenever I feel like,

I wonder if this is what
Robin Williams was like,

'cause he's so manic and crazy

and probably a cocaine addict.

He's like, "Hanging it up!"

And then, boom.

Hanged himself.

Still like, getting
over body shame stuff.

But it's society though, why
is it a crime to be naked?

It is a crime to be naked.

I think the Vatican needs to pay

because all of my body shame
issues I've been able to like--

Trace back to your
Catholic roots?

Yeah, and like, get to a level

of objectivity that's
kinda realistic.

You know, it's never gonna be
totally objective if it's me,

but I'm able to see
the same pattern

in lots of other people.

Mama, those people put me.

The Holy Trinity is not
Father, Son, Holy Ghost.

It's fear, shame, and guilt.

You know what I think, my job
going forward as an artist

is to incorporate
some element of nudity

in every single thing I do,

because it's gonna take that
much to make just a small dent.

Because there's nothing
objectively wrong

with me being naked.
Permeating everything else.

Here's my twist.

I have to love my body
because I hate my body.

If I didn't hate my
body I'd be at zero.

You wouldn't know.
But hate is minus five,

love is plus five.

We're trying to get
actually to zero.

Because my body is not
gonna be lovable forever.

My body, if I don't shower
three days from now,

will be disgusting.

It'll smell like shit.

Not a value judgment!

Not a value judgment.

In the Catholicism they say,

"Your body is dirty,
you are worthless."

Every time.

You are naked, you are
ashamed and afraid.

Garden of Eden, mama,
it starts in day one.

The knowledge of good and evil

equals being shamed
of your body.

The first thing
you're aware of is,

I'm naked and it's wrong.

That is fucked!

Your partner.

♪ We too have paddled
in the stream ♪

♪ From morning sun till night

♪ But seas between us
broad have roared ♪

♪ Since auld lang syne

♪ We wish you a
merry Christmas ♪

I forget, ah!

♪ We wish you a
merry Christmas ♪

♪ And a happy

I wanna, kind of,

move through this,
because we still

have to learn another one.

I'm gonna mush my
weenie into your body

and it's gonna be sexual.

And also, I mean, I
like the idea of it

also breaking down
from being too fast.

That's a comedic element.

Not being able to do it.
Not being able to do it.

And I
can yell at them.

Left this time, boom.
Left this time?

Boom, boom.

So you guys, this
starts immediately.

So be in your first positions.

Okay, first position.
I like your hair.

First
position, you guys.

It's like, Hollywood hair.
Katya.

Get in first position now.

Now.

I've fucking been in
first position, bitch.

I want you to be a nasty--

Be a nasty woman.

A militant, diesel, dagger,

fucking crack the whip,
dance instructor today.

Just for fun?

Just for an hour, yeah.
Okay, okay.

That's hard for me, I'm
gonna have to work on that.

Well, let's explore your range.

Okay.

All right, listen up,
motherfuckers, here we go.

Yes!

Well like, we could even
do like a.

Something like that.

Sure.
It's easy.

Any of it, yeah.
And it's percussive.

Boom, boom, boom, pew.

That's good.

Don't hurt yourself.

Girl, I know my truth.

I don't know, it's so weird.

It's great to feel sexy
but it's also so stupid.

I can't stand like
the, motivation Monday,

I put in my hard work
today at the gym.

Gonna get a sexy body

and gonna share that
to you on the internet.

I mean, great.

I'm doing that right now.

Oh, you know what, my drag is
saying, "Hey, that's funny.

"I know we're still gonna do it,

"but we all get why
that's funny, right?"

Oh God, these guys
who are just like,

"Fit life, insta fit.

"Aspirational hunk of the day.

"Gym life, go to
the gym,

"gym place, you
know,

"muscle fitness, gym
fitness, fitness life,

"fitness world, muscle
gym fitness world,

"muscle gym fitness
world planet."

How do they get
all these hashtags?

If you look, there's
a huge paragraph

and you realize it's all
to grab attention to say,

"Look at me, I'm
doing a good job."

I don't understand
why they don't see

it's the same
picture, every time.

Like "Groundhog Day."

Ordinary people
are fucking weird.

Not bad, but they
are fucking weird.

It looks like a giant Phi Phi.

Oh God, he's so sexy.

You just said you don't
go for WeHo perfect,

yet you're drooling over...

That's WeHo 101 right there.

Is it really?

The ass...

He's just
a little too stout.

Slay, fatty.

Come on, we gotta--
Do you guys know

if there's any drag queens
who are Trump supporters?

Yeah, my friend Amy Vodkahaus,

from the original Haus of
Haunt, voted for Donald Trump.

She's very proud of herself.

Is that like a subversive
kind of dig, or?

No, she's Bosnian,

so she's got her
Hillary Clinton issues.

Everybody's got their
Hillary Clinton issues, mama.

Yeah, yeah.

But
how did you guys feel

the morning after the election?

Oh God.

Next thing you
know they're gonna

wanna film the drag process.

With closeups of our feet.

Do you wanna see me getting
into drag, it's fascinating.

You wanna see the juxtaposition
between beauty and ugly?

How about me in a
sequins gown at the dump?

The subversion of it all.

The transgressive ideology.

Can't host, can't host.

Wait, say it.

How long have you been.

How long have you been dressing?

How long have you been dressing?

Looking for other sissies
who like to dress.

I have a Dolly Parton
wig, champagne teddy.

I keep it in an oak hutch.

I keep all my teddies
in an oak hutch.

Mother always said, "Too
much for the hutch."

All right, I'm going to work.

We're gonna get in trouble.

We didn't even get cigarettes.

My name is Yekaterina
Petrovna Zamolodchikova,

but you can call me.

Katya!

Barbara, you fucking
idiots.

Hi!

So, listen, oh gosh, we
have so much to talk about

but we have even more to do.

These are my dancers.

And if you'll notice, if you
have two working eyeballs

and a good sense of smell,
they are indeed men.

Hello, governor.

If you've ever seen a developmentally disabled young woman

just splashing around at
a local watering hole,

feeling herself, just
spreading every limb

of her body in just
a convulsive fit

of retardation, that's me.

♪ My first day of Christmas
my true love gave to me ♪

♪ 10 pounds of ravioli

♪ On the second day of Christmas
my true love gave to me ♪

♪ Two Bob Ross Paintings

How am I doing, terribly?

I mean, I'm a niche, like,
people coming off the street

were like, "Let's do dinner
and a show tonight, Marty.

"We're in Atlantic City."

They came to my
show, be like, "Huh.

"What is this?"

I mean literally, what is it?

Like your brain can't
get to the next step

in order to process
whether it's good or bad.

♪ 10 pounds of ravioli

Oh, fuck.

♪ My true love gave to me

♪ Six Slavic seamen

♪ Five NuvaRings

I saw Sandra Bernhardt
in a sheer dress,

eight months pregnant.

She was on HBO in
the television,

I was on acid in
the living room.

She was scream-singing
about something

and I was like, "What is
this experience I'm seeing,

"unlike any other thing I saw?"

I was like, "That's
what I wanna do."

Jesus Christ, I just wanna
fuck you all night long.

When I was younger, going
to these weird-ass shows

there was Cirque du Soleil,
obsessed.

Then this Japanese
butoh dance troupe,

doesn't get any
weirder than this

when you're the parent of
this wacko child by the way.

Herpes.

Football never did it for me.

I don't get it.

I don't understand.

It makes me feel like an alien.

I wanna give a
small slice of that

to like, a weirdo, wacko kid.

♪ Four pregnant piglets

♪ Three roasted meat chunks

♪ Two Bob Ross paintings

♪ And 10 pounds of ravioli

♪ On the ninth
day of Christmas ♪

Oh, you know what though?

I actually had a very
embarrassingly like,

heavy-handed, metaphorical
realization moment

on stage where I was like,

"Oh, I'm processing
years of Catholic shame."

♪ Four pregnant piglets

Literally like said
to myself out loud,

"This is the only reason
I am not killing myself."

♪ Ravioli

Thanks, guys.

Woo!

Okay,
you guys are best friends

because of Sharon?

Yeah.
Yeah.

Say
that, they won't hear me.

Oh, we're best friends
because of Sharon Needles.

We met last year of October
16 and 17 at 340 in Pomona

and we're best
friends since like,

we traveled to San
Fran together on a bus.

Planes.

No hotel, like, we
went on a bus together.

For Sharon.

As corny as it is, Sharon is
the reason why I'm alive today.

Yeah, same.

She changed my life, knowing
her, and because of Sharon.

I've met so many friends
because of Sharon.

I had no friends,
because of Sharon.

So yeah.

Yeah.
Sorry.

I'm so sorry.

No, it's okay.

It's real, like, it's not fake.

We're
not like those kind of, yeah.

There you go, darling.

There you go, yes.

There's no microphone?

I'll shut 'em up.

Okay.

Attention!

Shh!
Quiet!

Because this is so
special for the children,

for all the young people
who love each other

on social media, they
get to meet their tribe

right in person, and
that is everything.

Here we go, now.

Let
the DragCon begin!

I know how
important it is to the fans

to take pictures with them.

I know what that feels like,
to meet one of your idols.

Like when I was a teenager
meeting my favorite drag queens,

it was extremely
important to me,

and that was just getting
to meet them randomly.

It's not like I wanna die
or I have a death wish,

but like, wouldn't
that be amazing,

if I died in a plane crash?

Well, you guys would be sad,

but they would replay
all my episodes

on Logo for like,
it would be great.

But I'm glad to be alive

and so let's do this
song, it's called.

Well, I'm always just
like, little kids,

if you're listening,
don't wish for fame,

just wish for fortune.

'Cause fortune is
like, way easier.

Fame is just really
inconvenient.

♪ I was flying on an airplane

♪ And that airplane
almost went down ♪

♪ Down, down, down

♪ All the people
started screaming ♪

♪ But I smiled

♪ As I looked around

And I was like, oh my God!

Oh my God!

Woo!

Yeah!

Something about having to be

Jinkx and Jerick
all at the same time

and receiving all that energy

while you're also trying to do

this tricky dance of
like, when do I be Jinkx,

when do I make the
cunty joke to someone

and make them laugh,
and when do I turn

into Jerick and let them open
up and share that moment?

Tell me things you like
about mummy, darling.

I think you have a lovely
face and a lovely dress

and a beautiful heart.
That's makeup.

It's all fake.

The heart's real, unfortunately.

It's a pig heart.

♪ Legendary

You can't just walk

across the floor at DragCon.

I don't know, I
guess it's like being

Mickey Mouse at Disneyland

and he's so busy taking
pictures with people

that he can't go
on Space Mountain.

♪ You know that's all right

All right.

♪ That's okay

Okurr.

♪ I'd be a legend
if I died today ♪

I mean, I feel terrible
complaining about my problems.

My life is so fucking lucky
and I'm so fucking charmed

and everything is
fucking so easy, really.

But all I can do is bitch
and complain about it.

I hear myself, I'm
doing it now on camera,

in a movie, I'm in a movie,

and my scene is gonna be me
bitching about how difficult

my glamorous, ridiculously
lucky life is.

♪ Ooh

♪ Ooh, ah, oh, oh,
ah, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ah, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Ah, ooh, ooh

♪ Ooh, ah, ah, ooh

Everyone I've
interviewed over the last,

is saying the same
thing, you're exhausted.

Yes, it's true.

You are
legendary already.

Okay.

Do we have that light?

Can we turn that light on me?

Thank you.

Can someone grab my phone?

Thank you.

Okay, I'm coming out.

Yes, please, yeah.

Okay.

Thank you, I hope I win.

Yes, yes, yes.

I love you so much.

Hi, how are you?

Alaska!

Hey, what's up?

Hi, how are you?

Yes, queen!

To the dressing room?

Hi, hi, hi.

♪ 'Cause you're gonna see me
hanging in the Hall of Fame ♪

I love that.

Hi, Roxxxy.

New Year's Eve, 1979.

A lonely military
outpost is about to have

its mind blown by
an unexpected guest,

a leggy bombshell from
the planet Glamtron.

Crash landing on Earth, the
newly-named Alaska Thunderfun

is immediately captured
by military men

eager to exploit her body's

out-of-this-world
special powers.

Read this exciting,
uplifting adventure

to discover the
legend of Alaska.

So yeah, just tell me when.

Okay, my name's Lil' Poundcake.

I'm five years old but my mom
told me to say that I was two.

I weigh 18 pounds.

I'm three foot five.

You're not my real daddy
and you never will be.

Okay?

Okay, great.

My name's Lil' Poundcake

and I'm a straight-up
motherfucking dickpig.

My name's Lil' Poundcake

and I'm a straight-up
motherfucking dickpig.

Okay.
So it's like.

But it's like this.

So it's like high
but also is like,

can I just hear?

Can you throw like?

My
name is Lil' Poundcake

and I'm a straight-up.

We can put
Auto-Tune on it, too.

Yeah.

I'm just ridin' dirty.

That's hot.

I'm just ridin' dirty.

Ah!

I'm just ridin' dirty!

I'm just ridin' dirty.

My name's Lil' Poundcake
and I'm a straight-up

motherfucking dickpig.
And the hands

are molded, so they're
creating a mold.

The whole thing's plush but
the hands will be molded.

And they're like this.
And it's gonna be yeah,

sticking the finger.

Like an American Girl doll.

Yeah, exactly.

That should be the slogan.

Like an American Girl doll.

Oh, should I
show you stuff in my house?

Yeah, let's do it.

Okay.

I just got these.

These were custom,
so I like, went in,

I talked to them, I like,
I don't want a full wig,

I just want the piece

and then a big thing that
I can just pop on top.

So they did them, they're very
beautiful, and very large.

This is my RuPaul statue.

I bought it when they did
the limited run of them

and I had to have
one so I bought it.

It's one of my
prized possessions.

I keep wigs on the stove,

just 'cause they're big

and I don't really have
anywhere else to put them.

I'm
thinking maybe the stove

doesn't get turned
on a whole lot.

I don't, I do make tea,
but that's on this one.

But the rest, I mean,
I don't know, yeah.

I don't use the other ones.

This is the spare room
where I just put drag.

This is what I'm gonna
wear tonight, though.

It's like, long and
poofy at the bottom.

I'm really excited.

This is a fox.

Oh, here, this is me on
Christmas and this is my dad.

I look to be opening some sort

of Hot Wheels cars or
something, which I loved.

I knew I was
different all along,

like as early as I
had consciousness.

I feel like my mom knew, but
I think she also knew that,

I mean, we were living
in Erie, Pennsylvania,

you know, in early '90s.

So she was very like,
"You need to like,

"not play like a girl

"when you're out playing
with your friends."

'Cause I always wanted
to be the girl character.

I know it's shocking.

I became like a
drag queen though,

basically at the
very end of college.

And there was once
that we did "Pericles,"

which is a little-known
Shakespeare play.

This Russian director came

and he was like the
resident director.

And he was like,
"You read this."

At first I was reading
the male roles.

He asked me to read the
madam of the whorehouse.

And I started reading
it, and he was like,

"But no, like this, like this."

So I did it in a
really high voice

and I got the role and
it was pretty epic.

By the end of the
run they were like,

"Justin, you need to
tone down your makeup

"because it's getting too
grotesque and too dark."

I had blacked-out teeth,
my lips drawn, wrinkles.

That was the bite of the bug.

Well then I moved to
L.A. to be an actor,

'cause I wanted to get
out of Pennsylvania.

I thought it was too small.

I was getting called
a fag on the street

and I didn't like
that and I was like,

"I need to go to a big city,

"either New York or L.A.,
I don't care which one."

My best friend
happened to be living

in Los Angeles so that was it.

Well, Alaska
Thunderfuck was a being

that beamed itself into my body.

I remember when I
first moved to L.A.

and I knew what she was.

She was a glamazonian princess
from the planet Glamtron

who crash landed on Earth
and who needs to get

enough Twitter followers to get

her spaceship back
up and running again.

And so she saw billboards
of beautiful women

and was like, "That's what
I'm supposed to look like

"to get through this world."

She does that through her twisted vision of how she sees it.

So like, she think she looks
like fucking Marilyn Monroe,

'cause she does.

Jus?

Gabe is coming,
I think Cory's coming too.

Oh,
Cory's gonna be there too.

Oh my God!

Should I call you
after we find out?

Well, yeah, okay.

But then it'll be
a spoiler alert.

No, of course, yes.

All right, honey.

Well, I love you.

I love you, too.
I'm watching the last.

Bye.
Talk to you later.

May the best woman win.
Bye.

I think that she thinks
I'm not going to win

because of how the
fan interaction online

has been in the last week.

'Cause I had a horrible
episode last week

where I just looked
like an asshole,

so that's all my mom is seeing.

So I think she thinks
I'm not gonna win,

so I guess we'll see.

Oh yeah, I've been dreading
it since we filmed it.

We filmed it over a year ago

and I've been dreading
that episode coming out

and what it was
going to look like

and how people were
going to respond to it.

The response hasn't
been great.

I get so many messages
that are like,

"No matter what everyone
online says, I still love you."

Which is like, so what
are people saying online?

Like, it's that bad?

Yeah.

♪ It's Alaska, bitch

♪ Race

First time around on
season five, I didn't win.

I came out of it very well.

And this time it's like,

I did really well
in the competition

but as a person
I just feel like,

I don't wanna hang
out with that person.

That person just needs
to chill the fuck out.

♪ I'm a Ru girl

♪ I'm a Ru girl
♪ What

♪ A motherfuckin' Ru girl

♪ All right, all right

♪ Who are you, girl

People think that I'm lying.

Like when I was there
I was making decisions.

We had to make really
difficult decisions.

I know in my heart that I
didn't make any decisions like,

oh, I wanna fuck this person
over so I can do better later.

I just made the best
decisions that I could.

And I know that in my
heart, but people say like,

"Oh yeah, sure girl," because
of how it played out on TV.

♪ I'm a Ru girl

♪ What

♪ I'm a Ru girl

♪ Bitch

♪ A motherfuckin' Ru girl

♪ Who are you, girl

♪ I don't know

♪ I'm a Ru girl

I just have dreams
about it all the time.

It's like PTSD.

And just like the psychic
feeling of even a hundred,

it's probably thousands,
of people who are trying

to tell me that I'm
a terrible person.

Having that being told
to you so much is like,

and then you see it
on TV and you're like,

"Well, yeah, they're right."

And so then it's
like, am I that?

Am I a bad person?

Am I that person?

And you start to believe it.

Drag is definitely armor.

I do get to work out
a lot of the issues

that I have through the
art and the character,

which is great,
but I do also think

I need therapy
after this process.

Like, seriously.

What's your
like, worst fear about it?

Like, about tomorrow
morning or late tonight.

I mean, my worst
fear about it is

that it's going to
ruin my reputation

that I've worked really hard for

and that it's gonna make
people not wanna work with me

and not hire me and that I
won't have a job anymore.

That's worst-case scenario.

'Cause like, this show is more
than just a show to people,

it's a religion and
it's a way of life

and it's a phenomenon
and it's like the Bible.

So if the Bible says
that you're a bad person

and you're a cunt and you
suck and you're a liar,

then so it is written.

That's it, that's truth.

So I hope that doesn't happen.

Hello?

Hi.

How much
longer do we have?

We still have to lip
sync for our lives,

we all have to
give our speeches.

It's a minute.

Because you're
giving your speeches now.

Alaska.

Every
single week she's come

and she has slayed
the competition.

She understands
how Snatch Game works.

You either know it or you
don't, and she got it.

Katya.

You are the top three all stars.

My heart is pounding.

Ladies.

The time has come
to crown our queen.

The winner of "RuPaul's
Drag Race All Stars,"

the next queen to be inducted

into the Drag Race
Hall of Fame is

Alaska!

Yes, yes!

Yes!

Justin!

Oh my God, Justin,

I have never been so
happy for you, honey.

Congratulations, I'm
so happy for you.

Did you already know?

Maybe.

Are you there?

Fucking hell, cock-sucking
shit, what the fuck?

Nana's calling me now.

Okay, okay, okay.

Hello?

Well, congratulations.

Thank you, Nana.

Oh my God.

Yeah, did your
mother call you yet?

She did.

It got disconnected, I
don't know what happened.

Yeah, yeah, listen,

I want you to take that
money and invest it.

You bet I am.

All right, don't
go blowing it on everything.

Well.

I want you to invest it

for your future, for retirement.

I will, that's a very good idea.

I will definitely do that.

Just don't
blow it on Popsicles.

Right, just candy.

You knew this
though, didn't you?

Well, I don't know, maybe.

It's one of the great
mysteries of the world.

Who knows?

Okay, someday
you'll tell me.

Yeah, I'll
tell you when you're 90.

On my dying bed.

No, I'll tell you
when you're 90.

Hello?

Justin,
so did you know you won?

Maybe a little.

It was so awesome.

Yay.

So
happy for you, I'm so happy.

You got on the good
video.

I guess it's like, I mean,

that's really exciting for them.

You know, I knew and I knew that

it was gonna be whatever
it was gonna be,

but they didn't get to have

that moment on season
five, you know?

They didn't get to have
that and they do now,

and I'm sure they're just
so fucking happy about it.

That's great.

Oh.

♪ Start your engines

♪ It's Alaska, bitch

♪ It was always my dream
to get on the Race ♪

♪ So I let Sharon
Needles sit on my face ♪

Going into reality TV, no
matter who you were before,

you're putting it in
someone else's hands.

I'm owning the
evil queen persona

that has been thrust upon me,
because what else can you do?

I'm finding power in it.

The winner of
"RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars,"

the next queen to be inducted.

You have to
take the worst stuff

that happens to you
and make art out of it,

or it will kill you.

Alaska.

♪ This is for the ones
talking shit on my page ♪

♪ I guess I'd be a dick
too at minimum wage ♪

The worst things
at that time was,

Alaska, you're
nothing but a snake.

You're not who I thought you
were, you're just a snake.

And now I sell shirts where
it's me surrounded by snakes,

and I'm sitting in
front of a thing

that has snakes all over it.

Now the snake is
my spirit animal.

It's the only way to survive.

You have to take
the horrible things

and make it into art and
make it fun and love it.

♪ 'Cause I'm a Ru girl

♪ I'm a Ru girl

♪ A motherfucking Ru girl

You're my home and you're my
people and I am your queen.

♪ I'm a Ru girl

♪ I'm a motherfucking Ru girl

♪ And I just won "All Stars 2"

Sharon.
No, I like mine.

Have you always been a
big fat awful person?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Brand loyalty.

'Cause I just think,
especially now,

especially with Kim Kardashian,
it's just too surface, man.

It's like, they
don't give a fuck,

the little commenters
on YouTube.

Some of those kids don't even
listen to a fucking word.

It's like they watch
it with the sound off.

They're like, "Oh my
God, they look so good.

"I don't understand what
she's wearing, though."

Or like, whatever, it's all
they see is just surface shit.

I swear, maybe I'm just being
way too harsh and critical

or just bitter and
old or something,

but yeah, the kids
are just so obsessed

they don't know
how to talk to it,

all they know how to
do is put eyeliner on.

So, you're
going there for Christmas?

Right before and then
I do a show there

and then leave on Christmas Eve.

Where are
you going for Christmas?

All my family is going to

my brother's in
Washington state.

Are you
going or do you work that?

No.

Alaska, what
are you doing for Christmas?

My mom was
like, "I don't want anyone

"to talk about politics

"at the holidays."
No, let's talk about it.

So out
of respect I'm like,

"Okay, well I'm not going to,"

but it's also like, members
of my family are like,

personally affronting
my existence

and I don't feel comfortable
not talking about that.

It's like, I don't
wanna fucking see you.

I don't wanna fucking
see your fucking face.

Did you
go for Thanksgiving?

I did and no one came
to my mom's house.

Oh my gosh, look who it is.

Fucking Donald
Trump, and he's mad

he didn't get what he
wanted for Christmas.

Oh, man, what the?

♪ Uh, uh, uh

♪ Girl, why you complaining

♪ You're not in India starving

♪ It's not like you
don't have nothing ♪

♪ You're so damn
spoiled, it's alarming ♪

♪ You got some parents
that love you ♪

♪ A brother that bugs you

♪ So lucky that you got
a rooftop above you ♪

♪ Christmas is cool,
so get into it ♪

♪ You get what you get and
you don't throw a fit ♪

♪ Christmas rocks,
Christmas rocks ♪

♪ Christmas rocks,
Christmas rocks ♪

♪ Look, I just got a
pair of tube socks ♪

♪ Christmas rocks,
Christmas rocks ♪

♪ Wanna bet me, I'll bet
you a million bucks ♪

♪ Thank you Mom and Dad,
I can't really be sad ♪

♪ 'Cause I guess Christmas
really isn't isn't that bad ♪

Well, before the election

and just being a transgressive
asshole that I am,

I would say in the press
and I would say a lot

like, you know, "Let Trump win,

"let's return to fags being punk

"and being against the
system," because you know,

we had eight years of Obama

and our fan base tends
to be a little younger.

So our fans basically grew up
with "Drag Race" and Obama.

So I was kind of like,
"Oh God, bring Trump in."

Remind these kids, you know,

just how quick things can change

and how a new normal
can sprout up overnight

and well, I take
it all back now.

Oops.

Has the Trump
administration changed

how I feel about my job?

A little, but not as
much as how Orlando

has changed how I
feel about my job.

I found out about
the Pulse tragedy

on the Battle of the
Seasons tour on the tour bus

and we had to go
straight to Minneapolis

and do a show that night.

God, everyone was so
freaked out that day, too.

It was really weird.

Michelle sang "Take a Bow"
by Madonna every night

and she's like, "Will you
all come on stage with me?"

And we were just a mess.

It was a messy-ass show.

But that was the only
show my mom came to see,

so it was really nice, you know?

Oh, I'm so sorry, I
don't think I ever got

that sad about
Orlando for awhile.

Well, it sucks.

I forgot about that day, too.

It was so crazy.

It was so crazy I ate meat.

You ate meat?

Yeah, I just didn't give a fuck,

I went to Jimmy John's and
had a BLT, it was so good.

And you're a PETA,

well, you're a
well-known vegetarian.

Who cares?

That pig was really mean.

No, the Native Americans believe

that there are two-spirit
beings who are men and women

and their function
in society is healers

and truth-tellers and soothsayers and that's what we do.

We put on fantastical costume

and dress and we go out

and we make a spectacle
and we tell the truth

and we exorcise people
of their demons.

That's what we actually do.

So did you always know that
you were a witch like that?

How long ago did you find out?

Well, I didn't realize
that's what I was doing

when I started, I
just had to do it.

I was called to do it.

I had to.

I remember you said that

on the show, "This
is my calling."

And I was like, "Oh,
hundred percent agree."

It is.

It's a calling.

We don't choose to do
it, it makes no sense.

Well, now kids choose to do it.

Choose to do it, but I
couldn't do anything else.

Yeah, exactly.

I literally couldn't
work at Starbucks

'cause I would be so
bad and afraid at it.

But it's like, for some reason,

slamming my fucking
gross dick-pussy

into the ground a million times

is like a cathartic experience
that people love but--

Well, some people love it.

General public seems
to think it's okay.

You've been panned critically.

Yeah, and pandered to.

Just across the board.

You have like, a 2 %
on Rotten Tomatoes.

Thank you for two,
I was gonna say one.

You're so generous, snake.

It is now that we
must band together.

We must unify, we must
rally, we must join up

arm and arm and
protect one another,

so that no matter where
this world goes next,

at least we'll have each other.

And what's the best way to
unify a group of people?

What's the best way to
rally people together?

It's with a rousing anthem.

Being a drag queen
is kind of like,

it's a clown stripper.

You're half clown,
half stripper.

I think it's very
important to have clowns

and to have people
willing to like,

make fun of themselves
for the sake

of making a better community

or to make fun of the
people who are bullies

and are adversaries
so that we know

that we're just as strong,
if not stronger than them.

I've always been really nervous

about being too truthful
or to say and speak

and be and do as I
really am in here.

The second you start
editing your work

for the perception of other
people is impending doom.

There's a reason why
successful artists

get to where they are and
you gotta go with your gut.

Through Sharon, I
learned to not give a fuck,

and through Alaska I
learned what you can achieve

when you commit yourself
fully to something,

and from Katya I
learned not to be

brainwashed by my
society anymore.

Has the perception
of drag changed, yes.

Do I think they're
ever gonna allow them

to be in mainstream
media, never.

I guess I see a
world where it's not

a goal to become mainstream.

It's a goal to just be pure.

That's actually the goal.

Drag is realness.

In a world where it's
like complete bullshit

on the television at all times.

On the billboard,
in the newspaper,

on Instagram,
everything is fake,

but drag, going to a drag
show, that's something real.

We live in a society
that still is so rigid

and still has so many
constraints on how

you're supposed to be
allowed to express yourself.

It's a business to
brainwash people.

We live in a capitalist society.

Any trick to get people
to spend money on

what you want them to spend
money on is fair game.

And to see someone
who's so not brainwashed

gives us hope.

It's what drag is at its
core, is being a truth-teller,

is holding a mirror
up to this society

that we live in and
- Look at that.

Isn't that fucking something.

Let's laugh at it,
let's celebrate it,

but also take the
fucking piss out of it.

Let's regurgitate it and
interpret it and make it ours.

Make it human, make
it fucking real.

♪ This is my hair

♪ This is my hair

♪ This is my hair

♪ This is my hair,
I don't wear wigs ♪

♪ This is my hair

♪ This is my hair

♪ This is my hair

♪ This is my hair,
I don't wear wigs ♪

♪ This is my hair,
I don't wear wigs ♪

♪ This is my hair,
I don't wear wigs ♪

♪ This is my hair,
I don't wear wigs ♪

♪ This is my hair,
I don't wear wigs ♪

♪ This is my hair

♪ This is my hair