Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,968
Good morning, Marshal.
Morning.
2
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,267
Could you tell me
where I can find
3
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:14,934
the offices of
your newspaper?
4
00:00:14,968 --> 00:00:16,601
Turn at the first street,
about a half a block down.
5
00:00:16,634 --> 00:00:17,801
You can't miss it.
6
00:00:17,834 --> 00:00:19,133
Thank you kindly.
7
00:00:19,167 --> 00:00:20,868
(jeering laughter)
8
00:00:20,901 --> 00:00:22,334
Hey. Can I help you?
9
00:00:24,467 --> 00:00:26,601
Maybe the boy needs a hand.
10
00:00:26,634 --> 00:00:28,501
Oh, the Cartwrights
can take care of themselves.
11
00:00:28,534 --> 00:00:30,434
Sounds like he's
getting the worst of it.
12
00:00:30,467 --> 00:00:32,133
Yeah, sounds like he is.
13
00:00:32,167 --> 00:00:35,000
(jeering laughter)
14
00:00:35,033 --> 00:00:37,868
Looks like somebody in there
is hard to convince.
15
00:00:40,601 --> 00:00:43,767
Say, uh... you are the marshal
here, aren't you?
16
00:00:43,801 --> 00:00:45,067
That's right, stranger.
17
00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:47,367
Well, shouldn't you go in
there and break it up?
18
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:50,400
I reckon not. People in this
town mind their own business.
19
00:00:50,434 --> 00:00:51,501
Get out of the way.
20
00:00:51,534 --> 00:00:53,267
HOSS:
I'm telling you...
21
00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:54,667
No business in that poker game.
22
00:00:54,701 --> 00:00:56,467
Hoss, I told you to
stay out of it!
23
00:00:56,501 --> 00:00:58,601
Listen, Little Joe.
Pa told me to take care of you
24
00:00:58,634 --> 00:00:59,901
and that's exactly
what I aim to do.
25
00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:01,667
Yeah, well, I can
take care of myself.
26
00:01:01,701 --> 00:01:03,634
Little Joe, you get up
on that pony right now
27
00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:05,601
or else I'm just going
to naturally clobber you.
28
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,567
Who's the big fella?
29
00:01:11,601 --> 00:01:14,033
Oh, him? He's
another Cartwright.
30
00:01:20,234 --> 00:01:21,467
I'm new in Virginia City.
31
00:01:21,501 --> 00:01:22,968
So I noticed.
32
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,300
It's quite a town.
33
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,267
Who are the Cartwrights?
34
00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:28,701
Oh, I reckon you'll
find that out soon enough.
35
00:01:28,734 --> 00:01:30,467
Haven't asked you
who you are, have I?
36
00:01:30,501 --> 00:01:32,400
No, that's right,
you haven't.
37
00:01:32,434 --> 00:01:34,868
Maybe you shouldn't
ask so many questions.
38
00:01:34,901 --> 00:01:36,567
Like I said, this is
the kind of town
39
00:01:36,601 --> 00:01:38,267
where folks mind
their own business.
40
00:01:48,267 --> 00:01:51,200
(theme song playing)
41
00:02:38,901 --> 00:02:40,968
Whoa. Hey, you!
42
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,033
Hold this horse for me,
my good man!
43
00:02:43,067 --> 00:02:44,200
Yes, sir.
44
00:02:44,234 --> 00:02:46,234
I won't be long, my dear.
45
00:02:54,734 --> 00:02:56,968
Mind telling me whose, uh,
horse I'm holding, ma'am?
46
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,767
Well, you haven't been around
Virginia City very long!
47
00:02:59,801 --> 00:03:01,300
Couple of hours,
that's all.
48
00:03:01,334 --> 00:03:03,701
Judge Jeremy C. Billington.
49
00:03:03,734 --> 00:03:05,400
Oh, is that so?
50
00:03:05,434 --> 00:03:07,367
The "C" stands for Clarence.
51
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,868
Judge Jeremy
Clarence Billington.
52
00:03:09,901 --> 00:03:12,968
Judge Jeremy Clarence
Billington?
53
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,167
He's the judge here
in Virginia City.
54
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,701
Yes, so I've noticed.
55
00:03:17,734 --> 00:03:19,767
I'm his wife.
56
00:03:22,234 --> 00:03:25,234
The judge says I'm a big help
to him in his career.
57
00:03:25,267 --> 00:03:27,868
Oh, I can see that
for myself, ma'am.
58
00:03:27,901 --> 00:03:30,667
"Virginia City Superior Court
Judge's many friends
59
00:03:30,701 --> 00:03:34,968
"in Virginia City
have prevai...
60
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,434
"...have prevailed upon him
to again seek office
61
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:40,334
in the coming election as
Judge of the Superior Court."
62
00:03:40,367 --> 00:03:42,734
Hmm... Very nice.
63
00:03:42,767 --> 00:03:43,901
There you are,
my good man.
64
00:03:43,934 --> 00:03:45,400
Oh, thank you, sir.
Thank you.
65
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:48,701
Minnie, how many times
have I spoken to you
66
00:03:48,734 --> 00:03:50,601
about talking
to strange men?
67
00:03:50,634 --> 00:03:53,534
Oh, I wasn't
talking to him.
68
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,033
He was talking to me.
69
00:03:56,067 --> 00:03:58,067
(chuckling)
70
00:03:58,100 --> 00:03:59,634
(clearing throat)
Ya!
71
00:04:15,534 --> 00:04:19,133
If you're... If you're
trying to sell shares
72
00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:21,534
in your diggings, Old
Timer, I'm not interested.
73
00:04:21,567 --> 00:04:22,968
Well, as a matter of fact,
you're looking at
74
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,934
the most unsuccessful prospector
75
00:04:24,968 --> 00:04:27,100
that ever blistered his hands
on a pick handle.
76
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:29,033
Then what brings you
to a newspaper office?
77
00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:30,634
Your letter
offering me a job.
78
00:04:30,667 --> 00:04:32,634
What's your name, friend?
79
00:04:32,667 --> 00:04:33,968
Sam Clemens.
80
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,801
Sam Clemens!
81
00:04:35,834 --> 00:04:38,701
I figured as long as I was
starving, I might as well do it
82
00:04:38,734 --> 00:04:41,234
sitting on my backside at
a job I know something about.
83
00:04:41,267 --> 00:04:43,067
You didn't strike
it rich, huh?
84
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:44,968
Good looking press.
85
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,601
No. All I did was
prove how little
86
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:48,467
an Eastern tenderfoot
knows about mining.
87
00:04:48,501 --> 00:04:50,100
Sam, it's good to see you.
88
00:04:50,133 --> 00:04:52,033
And I think you're going
to like Virginia City.
89
00:04:52,067 --> 00:04:54,467
Well, I've been, uh, studying
some of the people.
90
00:04:54,501 --> 00:04:55,834
How often do you publish?
91
00:04:55,868 --> 00:04:57,434
Every day.
92
00:04:57,467 --> 00:04:58,601
Every day?
93
00:04:58,634 --> 00:04:59,767
In a little one-horse town
94
00:04:59,801 --> 00:05:01,501
2,000 miles west
of the Mississippi?
95
00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:02,701
Sam, the way we see it,
96
00:05:02,734 --> 00:05:05,467
the Mississippi is 2,000
miles east of Virginia City.
97
00:05:05,501 --> 00:05:07,234
(laughing)
98
00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:09,734
Sam, you're looking
at the only Bible
99
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:11,834
the miners around here
have any time to read.
100
00:05:11,868 --> 00:05:13,100
And what if they can't read?
101
00:05:13,133 --> 00:05:15,234
Then they get someone
who can read it to them.
102
00:05:15,267 --> 00:05:16,567
I like that.
103
00:05:16,601 --> 00:05:18,167
I think I'm going
to like this town.
104
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,834
It's a city.
Virginia City.
105
00:05:20,868 --> 00:05:23,300
Virginia City...
106
00:05:23,334 --> 00:05:28,100
A noisy, rough lady
with a lot of pride.
107
00:05:28,133 --> 00:05:30,167
I think I'm going to like her.
108
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:36,767
(mule braying)
109
00:05:36,801 --> 00:05:38,734
Over here!
110
00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,067
What are you doing here,
old man?
111
00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,400
Just eating my supper.
112
00:05:53,434 --> 00:05:54,834
You mean drinking
it, don't you?
113
00:05:54,868 --> 00:05:56,167
You be mighty careful
of that campfire
114
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,167
and as soon as you get through
eating, you clear out of here.
115
00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,868
I mean to, mister.
116
00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:02,000
We've got a lot of cattle
here on the Ponderosa.
117
00:06:02,033 --> 00:06:03,734
If that fire got out of
control, we'd be in trouble.
118
00:06:03,767 --> 00:06:05,501
Reckon I know that.
119
00:06:05,534 --> 00:06:07,167
Anyhow,
I'm just passing through.
120
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,434
Well, the next time, you just go
around, you hear? Come on.
121
00:06:15,868 --> 00:06:19,067
High and mighty.
122
00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:20,434
Think I ain't got no sense.
123
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:23,300
Telling me to put out a fire.
124
00:06:23,334 --> 00:06:27,300
Them Cartwrights will get their
comeuppance someday.
125
00:06:46,067 --> 00:06:50,100
Must be the spirit of
some Indian come back to earth.
126
00:06:50,133 --> 00:06:51,300
Come on, Mule.
127
00:06:51,334 --> 00:06:53,267
Let's get out of here.
128
00:06:56,868 --> 00:07:00,334
BILL:
Things aren't always just what
they seem in this town, Sam.
129
00:07:00,367 --> 00:07:01,934
I'm learning fast!
130
00:07:01,968 --> 00:07:03,801
The Cartwrights
like to fight.
131
00:07:03,834 --> 00:07:06,100
Judge Billington's word is law,
132
00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:07,734
and his wife...
133
00:07:07,767 --> 00:07:08,968
Say, where did she
come from, anyway?
134
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,167
She was in the chorus of
a traveling girlie show.
135
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:12,567
Oh, that figures.
136
00:07:12,601 --> 00:07:15,434
You know, I, uh... I might write
a series of articles
137
00:07:15,467 --> 00:07:17,801
on the colorful
citizens of Virginia City.
138
00:07:17,834 --> 00:07:19,968
Which would land you in
jail, or up on Boot Hill.
139
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,167
Let's get back
to the paper.
140
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:22,834
Right.
141
00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:28,934
Quite a lot of
characters you got here.
142
00:07:28,968 --> 00:07:30,501
What kind of things
they like to read?
143
00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:32,267
Oh, anything,
as long as you keep it humorous.
144
00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:35,300
These men see death and disaster
in the mines every day.
145
00:07:35,334 --> 00:07:37,334
They want to read something
that will make them laugh.
146
00:07:37,367 --> 00:07:38,901
And make them forget
that maybe tomorrow
147
00:07:38,934 --> 00:07:41,100
they'll be dead
or broke or both.
148
00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:42,367
That's right.
149
00:07:51,901 --> 00:07:54,033
Well, it's about time
you fellas got home.
150
00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:55,267
What's new
in town?
151
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,968
Dead as
a tomb, Pa.
152
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,200
Yeah. Nothing happening.
153
00:07:58,234 --> 00:08:00,534
Yeah? Hey.
154
00:08:08,868 --> 00:08:10,567
(whinnying)
155
00:08:10,601 --> 00:08:12,400
Bunch of men camped
in High Valley.
156
00:08:12,434 --> 00:08:13,601
What are they
doing there?
157
00:08:13,634 --> 00:08:15,033
I don't know.
Let's find out.
158
00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:16,667
All right.
Come on, let's go.
159
00:08:16,701 --> 00:08:18,634
(whinnying)
160
00:08:49,067 --> 00:08:50,334
All right,
hurry it up.
161
00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:57,434
There they come!
162
00:08:57,467 --> 00:08:59,767
Get that stuff
in the wagon quick.
163
00:09:15,501 --> 00:09:17,901
BEN:
Now, what are you men
doing here?
164
00:09:17,934 --> 00:09:19,100
Wait a minute,
Cartwright.
165
00:09:19,133 --> 00:09:20,400
We don't want
any trouble.
166
00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:22,901
You're trespassing
on private property, Mister.
167
00:09:22,934 --> 00:09:25,100
Well, you fellows
own so much land
around here,
168
00:09:25,133 --> 00:09:27,300
it's kind of hard
to figure where
your property ends
169
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:28,868
and the rest of
the world begins.
170
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:31,000
Well, if you
have any trouble
figuring it, Mister,
171
00:09:31,033 --> 00:09:32,434
we'll be happy
to oblige you.
172
00:09:32,467 --> 00:09:33,734
Oh, we're pulling out.
173
00:09:33,767 --> 00:09:35,667
Yeah, what were you doing
here in the first place?
174
00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:37,267
Doing a little
sightseeing.
175
00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:40,701
Thought one day you
might want to sell
off some of this land.
176
00:09:40,734 --> 00:09:42,334
What have you got in the wagon?
177
00:09:42,367 --> 00:09:44,400
Just some prospecting
equipment.
178
00:09:44,434 --> 00:09:46,701
BEN:
Oh, let's not hold
them up, boys.
179
00:09:46,734 --> 00:09:48,534
The man said
they were moving on.
180
00:09:48,567 --> 00:09:50,868
The next time you, uh...
you want to know
181
00:09:50,901 --> 00:09:54,067
where the rest of the world
begins, you might try asking.
182
00:09:55,167 --> 00:09:57,100
Mount up.
183
00:10:03,601 --> 00:10:04,567
All right.
184
00:10:04,601 --> 00:10:05,567
Ho.
185
00:10:05,601 --> 00:10:07,534
(whinnying)
186
00:10:11,801 --> 00:10:13,734
Hey, wait a minute.
187
00:10:14,801 --> 00:10:15,934
LITTLE JOE:
What is it?
188
00:10:15,968 --> 00:10:17,767
Looks like some kind
of surveying equipment.
189
00:10:17,801 --> 00:10:19,300
Looks like
them guys is lying
190
00:10:19,334 --> 00:10:21,334
when they said something
about buying some land.
191
00:10:21,367 --> 00:10:23,501
BEN:
No, they're
interested
192
00:10:23,534 --> 00:10:24,667
in land, all right.
193
00:10:24,701 --> 00:10:25,868
I just don't think
194
00:10:25,901 --> 00:10:27,534
they're interested
in buying any of it.
195
00:11:03,267 --> 00:11:05,734
Uh, drinks are two bits,
old-timer.
196
00:11:05,767 --> 00:11:08,467
Oh. Half a drink, maybe?
197
00:11:11,467 --> 00:11:13,434
I can't recommend it,
but help yourself.
198
00:11:13,467 --> 00:11:15,567
Oh! Oh, thank you.
199
00:11:15,601 --> 00:11:17,200
That's mighty sociable
of you, stranger.
200
00:11:17,234 --> 00:11:18,367
Mighty sociable.
201
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:19,534
(laughs)
202
00:11:19,567 --> 00:11:21,634
I, uh... I don't
know you, do I?
203
00:11:21,667 --> 00:11:22,901
Nope.
204
00:11:22,934 --> 00:11:24,067
Then how come you...?
205
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,734
Oh, let's just
say that today
206
00:11:25,767 --> 00:11:28,033
I'm filled with the
milk of human kindness.
207
00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:29,267
Oh.
208
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:33,901
(sighs)
209
00:11:33,934 --> 00:11:36,167
That don't taste
much like milk.
210
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,467
Or human
kindness, either.
211
00:11:37,501 --> 00:11:39,434
(giggles)
212
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:44,234
I sure needed that one.
213
00:11:44,267 --> 00:11:46,100
Covered a lot of
territory today, huh?
214
00:11:46,133 --> 00:11:48,467
Oh, all the way
from Ponderosa.
215
00:11:48,501 --> 00:11:50,033
Ponderosa?
216
00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:52,367
I didn't know the Cartwrights
allowed prospecting.
217
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:53,567
Well, they don't.
218
00:11:53,601 --> 00:11:55,267
They run me off at high noon.
219
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:57,100
But they'll get
their comeuppance.
220
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,501
I never saw a spirit
dogging a place yet
221
00:11:59,534 --> 00:12:00,834
that trouble didn't bust out.
222
00:12:00,868 --> 00:12:03,567
A what?
223
00:12:03,601 --> 00:12:05,534
A spirit.
224
00:12:06,801 --> 00:12:08,767
This one lives in my trees.
225
00:12:08,801 --> 00:12:10,868
It, uh... it come out
and watched me
226
00:12:10,901 --> 00:12:12,834
all the time
I was fixing to leave.
227
00:12:12,868 --> 00:12:14,901
Uh, who watched you?
228
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:16,300
The-the spirit.
229
00:12:16,334 --> 00:12:18,400
And, uh, what did
the spirit look like?
230
00:12:18,434 --> 00:12:20,300
Oh. Oh, it was, uh...
231
00:12:20,334 --> 00:12:21,868
It was big and black
232
00:12:21,901 --> 00:12:24,234
and active as two tomcats
on a back fence.
233
00:12:24,267 --> 00:12:25,901
How big?
234
00:12:25,934 --> 00:12:28,968
Well, could have been
about ten foot, maybe.
235
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,667
Uh-huh. Maybe
even more?
236
00:12:30,701 --> 00:12:33,968
Oh, could have been
15 or 20 foot, maybe.
237
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,300
And wild, huh?
238
00:12:35,334 --> 00:12:38,334
Oh, wildest thing
you ever saw.
239
00:12:38,367 --> 00:12:40,400
Wilder than a Washoe zephyr!
240
00:12:40,434 --> 00:12:42,000
It flit from tree to tree
241
00:12:42,033 --> 00:12:43,934
with a manzanita bush
in each hand
242
00:12:43,968 --> 00:12:45,767
and a waggin' tongue
in its mouth.
243
00:12:45,801 --> 00:12:47,100
Hmm.
244
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,367
20 feet tall.
245
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,767
That's what I call
a man-sized spirit.
246
00:12:50,801 --> 00:12:52,767
(laughs)
247
00:13:06,534 --> 00:13:08,701
"Reported to be 20 feet tall
248
00:13:08,734 --> 00:13:10,701
"and covered with
long, black hair,
249
00:13:10,734 --> 00:13:14,067
"the Wild Man is said
to flit from tree to tree,
250
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:17,267
"carrying off cattle
and picking his teeth
251
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:19,734
with a wagging tongue."
252
00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:23,000
By all that's wonderful,
whatever inspired this?
253
00:13:23,033 --> 00:13:25,000
Well, you said your readers
liked a few laughs.
254
00:13:25,033 --> 00:13:26,901
Just so no one questions
your sources.
255
00:13:26,934 --> 00:13:29,200
Well, I admit it's
secondhand reporting,
256
00:13:29,234 --> 00:13:31,400
but my source was
pretty reliable.
257
00:13:31,434 --> 00:13:33,567
That is, until he had
a couple of drinks
under his belt.
258
00:13:33,601 --> 00:13:35,634
And then he, uh,
tended to exaggerate.
259
00:13:35,667 --> 00:13:39,067
(laughing)
260
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:41,367
Well, it's plain enough to
see what they were up to.
261
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,501
You follow High Valley,
bridge the Truckee
262
00:13:43,534 --> 00:13:45,367
and drop down the west slope.
263
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:46,667
A natural route for
cutting a road
264
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:47,834
right through our property.
265
00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:49,501
A road or a railroad.
266
00:13:49,534 --> 00:13:51,400
They intended to sneak
in, make their survey
267
00:13:51,434 --> 00:13:53,033
and sneak out before
anybody ever saw them.
268
00:13:53,067 --> 00:13:54,968
The question is,
why and for whom.
269
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,501
Ah...
Come quick!
Come quick!
270
00:13:56,534 --> 00:13:57,767
Too many people!
No, Hop Sing.
271
00:13:57,801 --> 00:13:59,200
People everywhere!
All over Ponderosa!
272
00:13:59,234 --> 00:14:00,734
Hop Sing, you got
a bigger imagination
273
00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:01,868
than...
LITTLE JOE:
Hey, Pa!
274
00:14:01,901 --> 00:14:03,467
Hey, Pa, you and Adam
better get out here!
275
00:14:03,501 --> 00:14:04,701
There's people all
over the place.
276
00:14:04,734 --> 00:14:05,868
They've come to see
the Wild Man.
277
00:14:05,901 --> 00:14:07,300
Wh-What Wild Man?
278
00:14:07,334 --> 00:14:09,200
Look, right here in
the Enterprise.
279
00:14:09,234 --> 00:14:12,100
"Wild Man of Washoe
Loose on Ponde..."
280
00:14:12,133 --> 00:14:14,334
Now, what fool would put a thing
like that in the paper?!
281
00:14:14,367 --> 00:14:16,934
Well, there's the name of the
man who wrote it-- "Josh."
282
00:14:19,133 --> 00:14:21,033
Sam, take a look
at this telegram.
283
00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:23,734
The San FranciscoBugle:
"Confirm Wild Man Story.
284
00:14:23,767 --> 00:14:25,000
Flooded with inquiries."
285
00:14:25,033 --> 00:14:27,534
(chuckles)
Big city newspaper, too.
286
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,534
Uh, which one of you
fellows is Josh?
287
00:14:29,567 --> 00:14:31,400
Oh, that's sort of
a pen name I use.
288
00:14:31,434 --> 00:14:33,601
Uh, did you,
uh, write this?
289
00:14:33,634 --> 00:14:34,901
The Wild Man story?
290
00:14:34,934 --> 00:14:37,000
Yeah, sure, I did.
How'd you like it, Mister, uh...
291
00:14:37,033 --> 00:14:38,501
I'm sorry,
I didn't get your name.
292
00:14:38,534 --> 00:14:40,300
Cartwright,
Adam Cartwright.
293
00:14:40,334 --> 00:14:41,501
Oh, I'm Sam Clemens.
294
00:14:41,534 --> 00:14:43,033
I haven't been in
Virginia City very long.
295
00:14:43,067 --> 00:14:44,467
And I'm afraid you're
not gonna be around
296
00:14:44,501 --> 00:14:45,767
very much longer,
Mr. Clemens.
297
00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:48,067
You see, this little, uh,
contribution to literature
298
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:49,601
brought 500 people tramping
299
00:14:49,634 --> 00:14:51,267
across the Ponderosa
this morning.
300
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:52,534
As many as that?
Yes.
301
00:14:52,567 --> 00:14:53,968
They, uh, ruined
a field of hay
302
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,567
and scared the wits
out of a herd of cows.
303
00:14:55,601 --> 00:14:57,901
We had to rescue four of
them out of the duck pond.
304
00:14:57,934 --> 00:15:00,534
And my people are still trying
to round up the rest of them.
305
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,267
Well, it was just
a bit of sagebrush humor. We...
306
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:05,901
We had no idea folks
would take it seriously.
307
00:15:05,934 --> 00:15:08,300
Yes, well,
I want a retraction
308
00:15:08,334 --> 00:15:11,334
of the, uh, Wild Man Story to
keep these fools off our land.
309
00:15:11,367 --> 00:15:15,100
Oh, I'm afraid that's kind
of hard to do, Mr. Cartwright.
310
00:15:15,133 --> 00:15:18,868
You see, I got the story
from a very reliable source.
311
00:15:18,901 --> 00:15:20,534
Then you leave
me no choice.
312
00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:22,200
I presume you know
how to handle a gun?
313
00:15:22,234 --> 00:15:23,968
Oh, now, hold
on, Mr. Cart...
314
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,267
Uh, I haven't got any gun.
315
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,567
Well, maybe you're pretty
good with your fists, huh?
316
00:15:27,601 --> 00:15:28,868
Why, sure!
317
00:15:28,901 --> 00:15:30,501
When I was, uh, steamboating
on the Mississippi,
318
00:15:30,534 --> 00:15:31,934
a fellow didn't
like me very much.
319
00:15:31,968 --> 00:15:34,000
We had quite a fight until
I tripped over a rope.
320
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:36,968
Course, he outweighed me
by about five pounds.
321
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,567
Uh, come to think of it, uh,
322
00:15:38,601 --> 00:15:41,234
I sort of hate to mess up
these new clothes I just bought.
323
00:15:41,267 --> 00:15:44,167
Couldn't we, uh, settle this
a little more peaceably?
324
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,400
Are you trying to make
a fool out of me?
325
00:15:46,434 --> 00:15:49,701
Now, I want that retraction
in tomorrow's newspaper.
326
00:15:49,734 --> 00:15:52,200
Well, you're making this
a little difficult.
327
00:15:52,234 --> 00:15:53,300
You see, the Enterprise
328
00:15:53,334 --> 00:15:55,667
never apologizes
for stories it prints.
329
00:15:55,701 --> 00:15:57,434
It's, uh, kind of a policy.
330
00:15:57,467 --> 00:15:58,868
I see.
331
00:15:58,901 --> 00:16:01,534
Well, maybe I can help
change that policy.
332
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,033
Now, you understand
about that retraction?
333
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,501
Y-You'll get your,
uh, you'll get your
334
00:16:09,534 --> 00:16:10,968
retraction, Mr. Cartwright.
Thank you.
335
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,701
You all right, Sam?
336
00:16:12,734 --> 00:16:14,033
Whoo!
337
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,634
I kind of like
those Cartwrights.
338
00:16:28,801 --> 00:16:30,167
(horse neighs)
339
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:55,701
You, in there!
340
00:16:55,734 --> 00:16:57,667
That's a box canyon!
341
00:16:57,701 --> 00:16:59,334
There's no way out!
342
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,167
(horse neighing)
343
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,267
Get down from there!
344
00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:33,968
Hey, Pa!
345
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,868
Hey, Pa, here comes Adam.
346
00:17:38,534 --> 00:17:39,834
Got somebody across his horse.
347
00:17:39,868 --> 00:17:41,501
Maybe it's that Josh fellow.
348
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,534
Who've you got there?
349
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:51,200
Found this boy
roaming the hills.
350
00:17:51,234 --> 00:17:52,667
Is he all right?
He's all right.
351
00:17:52,701 --> 00:17:55,167
Take him to the wash house,
let Hop Sing wash him up.
352
00:17:56,467 --> 00:17:58,067
C'mon. C'mon, boy.
353
00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:02,934
Seems to me this Josh fellow
had you buffaloed, Adam.
354
00:18:02,968 --> 00:18:05,033
Well, what are you gonna do
when a man won't fight?
355
00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:07,267
What kind of a man
is he, a coward?
356
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:08,634
I don't know.
357
00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:10,434
Anyway, he promised
to print a retraction.
358
00:18:10,467 --> 00:18:11,934
Well, I certainly hope he does.
359
00:18:11,968 --> 00:18:14,000
We don't want some fool
reporter printing stories
360
00:18:14,033 --> 00:18:15,234
that'll send
more people out here.
361
00:18:15,267 --> 00:18:16,667
It's hard enough as it is
362
00:18:16,701 --> 00:18:18,100
to keep an eye out
for strangers.
363
00:18:18,133 --> 00:18:21,000
Now, listen, boys,
I want you to be careful.
364
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:23,033
Don't ride out
by yourselves anymore.
365
00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:25,534
If someone is going to pull
a land grab on us,
366
00:18:25,567 --> 00:18:27,000
they can't hide
their hand much longer.
367
00:18:28,100 --> 00:18:29,400
(door opening)
368
00:18:29,434 --> 00:18:33,434
(speaking Chinese)
369
00:18:33,467 --> 00:18:35,033
Hop Sing quit!
370
00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:36,300
Too much foolishment!
371
00:18:36,334 --> 00:18:37,434
What's the matter
with you?
372
00:18:37,467 --> 00:18:40,567
Work hard, make a fine
supper, wash dish,
373
00:18:40,601 --> 00:18:42,133
no time for foolishment!
374
00:18:42,167 --> 00:18:43,868
Now, just settle
down, Hop Sing.
375
00:18:43,901 --> 00:18:45,434
We got enough trouble
around here already.
376
00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:46,601
You got trouble?
377
00:18:46,634 --> 00:18:48,367
Hop Sing got the foolishment!
378
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,601
Give boy, you say
wash up clean...
379
00:18:50,634 --> 00:18:53,467
Boy? Ain't no boy around here.
380
00:18:53,501 --> 00:18:55,667
Oh, Adam found some lad
wandering around.
381
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,300
So, what'd you do with
him, Hop Sing?
382
00:18:57,334 --> 00:18:58,534
Him no boy.
383
00:18:58,567 --> 00:18:59,834
Him girl!
384
00:18:59,868 --> 00:19:01,234
What?!
385
00:19:01,267 --> 00:19:02,901
You go look, see, please!
386
00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:05,234
Well, Adam, if you don't
know a boy from a girl...
387
00:19:05,267 --> 00:19:06,267
Shut up!
388
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:07,901
Where is he, I mean, she?
389
00:19:07,934 --> 00:19:09,667
Still in the wash house.
390
00:19:09,701 --> 00:19:10,901
Well, bring
her in here!
391
00:19:10,934 --> 00:19:12,367
No can do, Boss.
392
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,801
Burn up clothes.
All very bad shape.
393
00:19:14,834 --> 00:19:17,534
You know, I think
I'd better see what
I can do about this.
394
00:19:17,567 --> 00:19:19,467
Maybe you just better
stay right where you are.
395
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:25,000
(Little Joe laughing)
396
00:19:26,767 --> 00:19:28,200
Good luck, Adam!
397
00:19:40,601 --> 00:19:42,200
You, in there!
398
00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:46,734
Put this on and come on out.
399
00:19:48,968 --> 00:19:51,300
I tell you I found him--
her-- in the brush
400
00:19:51,334 --> 00:19:52,534
and that's all I know.
401
00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:53,801
Yeah, well, you should've
asked me, Adam.
402
00:19:53,834 --> 00:19:55,434
I could've told you
it was a girl.
403
00:19:55,467 --> 00:19:56,534
(laughing)
404
00:19:56,567 --> 00:19:58,133
What are we gonna
to do with her?
405
00:19:58,167 --> 00:19:59,934
Well, we'll get rid of her.
406
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,334
This way, Missy.
407
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:17,501
Hello.
408
00:20:20,634 --> 00:20:22,868
Won't you sit down?
409
00:20:36,601 --> 00:20:37,868
What's your name, child?
410
00:20:47,167 --> 00:20:49,300
Why did you run away from me?
411
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:53,968
Ain't you got no folks,
no relatives?
412
00:20:57,133 --> 00:21:01,100
Perhaps, perhaps you'd rather
not talk until morning.
413
00:21:03,968 --> 00:21:05,501
No.
414
00:21:05,534 --> 00:21:07,467
I think you're friends.
415
00:21:07,501 --> 00:21:10,133
(sighing)
416
00:21:10,167 --> 00:21:13,367
My name is Rosemary Lawson.
417
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,734
My father and I
left San Francisco
418
00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:19,400
to come to
Virginia City by wagon.
419
00:21:19,434 --> 00:21:21,701
My father was
a school teacher.
420
00:21:21,734 --> 00:21:25,701
But he wanted
to look for silver.
421
00:21:25,734 --> 00:21:29,968
We didn't have any trouble
until we got into the mountains.
422
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,133
Then, one night,
423
00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:34,601
we were camped near
the Truckee River.
424
00:21:35,701 --> 00:21:39,167
It was very beautiful there...
425
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,701
and we were very happy.
426
00:21:42,167 --> 00:21:44,133
We sat by the fire and
427
00:21:44,167 --> 00:21:47,300
Daddy sang some
old songs to me.
428
00:21:47,334 --> 00:21:50,901
Then I went to bed
in the wagon.
429
00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:55,067
Later, I was awakened
by pistol shots.
430
00:21:55,100 --> 00:21:59,968
I looked out and there
were strange men in camp.
431
00:22:01,767 --> 00:22:04,033
They'd killed my father!
432
00:22:04,067 --> 00:22:07,000
(crying)
433
00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:12,400
Um, I think you've, uh,
434
00:22:12,434 --> 00:22:15,033
you've talked enough
for tonight, Rosemary.
435
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,834
Hop Sing, see that you get
some hot food and, uh,
436
00:22:17,868 --> 00:22:20,100
prepare that room at the
end of the bunkhouse.
437
00:22:26,033 --> 00:22:27,200
You rest well.
438
00:22:29,534 --> 00:22:30,868
(door shuts)
439
00:22:30,901 --> 00:22:32,901
Remember that filly colt
440
00:22:32,934 --> 00:22:36,300
we found in the upper
pasture last spring...
441
00:22:36,334 --> 00:22:39,701
after some skunk of a
hunter killed its mammy?
442
00:22:39,734 --> 00:22:42,534
Yeah, I remember.
443
00:22:42,567 --> 00:22:44,434
She was scared
to death, too.
444
00:22:44,467 --> 00:22:46,767
Took us all day long
to run her down.
445
00:22:46,801 --> 00:22:49,367
They did more to her
than kill her father.
446
00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:25,234
*
447
00:23:43,634 --> 00:23:46,133
All right, who are you
and what are you doing here?
448
00:23:46,167 --> 00:23:48,300
I'm Dr. Ephriam Lovejoy.
449
00:23:48,334 --> 00:23:50,934
I represent, sir, a group
of distinguished scientists.
450
00:23:50,968 --> 00:23:54,000
Scientists...
451
00:23:54,033 --> 00:23:55,467
Adam, what's in that wagon?
452
00:23:57,601 --> 00:23:58,934
Some kind of steel hooks.
453
00:23:58,968 --> 00:24:00,667
Grappling hooks.
454
00:24:00,701 --> 00:24:02,601
I'm going to fish for
the body in the lake.
455
00:24:02,634 --> 00:24:04,267
The body?
456
00:24:04,300 --> 00:24:05,567
What are you talking about?
457
00:24:05,601 --> 00:24:07,834
Well, the body of the
Wild Man, of course.
458
00:24:07,868 --> 00:24:10,567
Didn't you read about it
in the Territorial Enterprise?
459
00:24:10,601 --> 00:24:12,467
I expect to get off
an immediate report
460
00:24:12,501 --> 00:24:14,567
to my scientific group.
461
00:24:14,601 --> 00:24:18,033
What does it say, Pa?
462
00:24:18,067 --> 00:24:20,367
"The Wild Man of Washoe is dead.
463
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,267
"His body having been consigned
to the waters of Lake Tahoe,
464
00:24:23,300 --> 00:24:26,434
"it will now sink to a depth of
200 feet, where it will remain
465
00:24:26,467 --> 00:24:29,000
"motionless, encased
in a block of ice,
466
00:24:29,033 --> 00:24:31,067
"while the pressure
encountered reduces it
467
00:24:31,100 --> 00:24:33,267
to the stature of a child."
468
00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:35,367
I thought they was gonna
print a retraction.
469
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,000
Yeah, some retraction
you've got, Adam.
470
00:24:37,033 --> 00:24:39,367
Surely, gentlemen, for
scientific reasons...
471
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:40,734
That article was written
472
00:24:40,767 --> 00:24:42,734
by a lying newspaper
reporter named Josh.
473
00:24:42,767 --> 00:24:45,367
Now, head that buggy back
towards Virginia City and fast!
474
00:24:52,300 --> 00:24:53,868
And put out the fire!
475
00:25:09,968 --> 00:25:11,801
(horse neighs)
476
00:25:11,834 --> 00:25:14,300
Well, Adam, it looks like
you got your retraction.
477
00:25:14,334 --> 00:25:17,167
Josh killed off
the Wild Man.
478
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,033
Well, the next time I'm in town,
479
00:25:19,067 --> 00:25:22,167
I think I'll pay this Josh
fellow a little visit.
480
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,133
(grunts)
481
00:25:27,033 --> 00:25:28,567
And I tell you, my friends,
482
00:25:28,601 --> 00:25:30,667
that never in the history
of Virginia City
483
00:25:30,701 --> 00:25:32,200
has there been a greater need
484
00:25:32,234 --> 00:25:34,400
for a guardian of the rights
of the working man.
485
00:25:34,434 --> 00:25:35,868
Right.
486
00:25:35,901 --> 00:25:39,000
The miners who are putting the
name Virginia City on the map.
487
00:25:39,033 --> 00:25:41,000
And those rights
will be guarded.
488
00:25:41,033 --> 00:25:43,100
Now then, gentlemen,
step up to the bar.
489
00:25:43,133 --> 00:25:44,501
The drinks are on me.
490
00:25:44,534 --> 00:25:46,667
(excited chatter)
491
00:25:46,701 --> 00:25:47,834
Drink up, boys.
492
00:25:47,868 --> 00:25:49,000
It's on the judge.
493
00:25:49,033 --> 00:25:50,367
MINNIE:
Yes, sir.
494
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,934
There's two ways of
winning an election.
495
00:25:52,968 --> 00:25:54,734
One's by going around
making speeches.
496
00:25:54,767 --> 00:25:57,734
And the other's by sitting still
and making friends.
497
00:25:57,767 --> 00:26:00,267
Friend, here's mud
in your eye.
498
00:26:00,300 --> 00:26:02,501
Well, I remember you.
499
00:26:02,534 --> 00:26:04,701
And I remember you,
Mrs. Billington.
500
00:26:04,734 --> 00:26:08,200
Friend, see you
on election day.
501
00:26:13,567 --> 00:26:16,033
I, uh, didn't invite you
to sit down.
502
00:26:16,067 --> 00:26:18,033
Thank you anyway.
503
00:26:21,701 --> 00:26:23,601
Your very good
health, ma'am.
504
00:26:23,634 --> 00:26:26,167
And to the election of
Jeremy C. Billington.
505
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,901
You didn't come here
to buy my vote.
506
00:26:28,934 --> 00:26:30,634
Well, he's the
best man, isn't he?
507
00:26:30,667 --> 00:26:33,100
And what I always say--
let the best man win.
508
00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:34,300
Don't you worry about it.
509
00:26:34,334 --> 00:26:36,200
My husband always wins.
510
00:26:36,234 --> 00:26:37,601
You know, Mrs.
Billington,
511
00:26:37,634 --> 00:26:39,267
it's a funny thing
about elections
512
00:26:39,300 --> 00:26:41,033
and contests
of any kind.
513
00:26:41,067 --> 00:26:43,434
You never really know how
they're gonna work out.
514
00:26:43,467 --> 00:26:46,434
Now, back a couple of months
ago, I was in California.
515
00:26:46,467 --> 00:26:48,067
Place called
Calaveras County.
516
00:26:48,100 --> 00:26:50,667
And the folks there seemed
to think that they wanted
517
00:26:50,701 --> 00:26:53,267
to hold a sort of a-a little,
uh... frog-jumping contest?
518
00:26:53,300 --> 00:26:54,601
Yeah, I heard about it.
519
00:26:54,634 --> 00:26:56,701
You're the fellow thinks up
all that junk.
520
00:26:56,734 --> 00:26:58,567
Signs himself Josh.
521
00:26:58,601 --> 00:27:01,901
Well, I, uh, wouldn't exactly
call it junk, ma'am.
522
00:27:01,934 --> 00:27:03,801
All right.
What would you call it?
523
00:27:03,834 --> 00:27:07,868
Well, uh, I'd call it
some, uh, pretty fancy writing.
524
00:27:07,901 --> 00:27:10,934
Take my word for it-- it's junk.
525
00:27:10,968 --> 00:27:14,100
Well, maybe you're
right at that.
526
00:27:14,133 --> 00:27:15,834
Smart fellow
like you shouldn't ought
527
00:27:15,868 --> 00:27:17,434
to be wasting
his time writing,
528
00:27:17,467 --> 00:27:19,801
or any other kind
of silly stuff like that.
529
00:27:19,834 --> 00:27:20,968
(chuckles)
530
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,000
Well, uh, what
should I ought to do?
531
00:27:23,033 --> 00:27:24,267
You see, I
tried prospecting.
532
00:27:24,300 --> 00:27:25,434
I couldn't make a dime.
533
00:27:25,467 --> 00:27:27,634
Prospecting.
534
00:27:27,667 --> 00:27:29,834
That's almost as bad as writing.
535
00:27:29,868 --> 00:27:32,167
There's a lot better ways
of making a pile
536
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,434
than going out in the hills
digging for it.
537
00:27:34,467 --> 00:27:35,701
(laughs)
538
00:27:35,734 --> 00:27:38,234
Yes, I guess there are.
539
00:27:40,234 --> 00:27:41,634
Now, you take politics.
540
00:27:41,667 --> 00:27:43,501
There's a big future
in politics.
541
00:27:43,534 --> 00:27:46,267
Well, there... there has been
one for the last, uh...
542
00:27:46,300 --> 00:27:48,000
5,000 years.
543
00:27:48,033 --> 00:27:50,968
No, I mean,
right here, in Nevada.
544
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,033
Fellow like you could
go places in Nevada.
545
00:27:53,067 --> 00:27:55,133
Well, you see, there
are a few places
546
00:27:55,167 --> 00:27:56,901
I'd rather see first.
547
00:27:56,934 --> 00:27:58,667
Oh, what kind of places
you talking about?
548
00:27:58,701 --> 00:28:02,501
Oh, uh, London, Paris, Rome.
549
00:28:02,534 --> 00:28:04,300
You see, uh,
when you're from Missouri,
550
00:28:04,334 --> 00:28:07,367
you've got to get out and
take a good look at the world.
551
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,200
Well, whatever for?
552
00:28:09,234 --> 00:28:11,901
Oh, to understand
your own home town,
553
00:28:11,934 --> 00:28:14,167
the friends you had
when you were a child,
554
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,567
sailing down the Mississippi
on a raft, and...
555
00:28:17,601 --> 00:28:20,300
Oh, you know,
all kinds of junk like that.
556
00:28:20,334 --> 00:28:23,000
Believe me, you won't
make a dime doing that, either.
557
00:28:23,033 --> 00:28:24,634
The money's out here
in Nevada.
558
00:28:24,667 --> 00:28:26,934
Like, uh, when you
get elected judge?
559
00:28:26,968 --> 00:28:28,667
What's wrong
with being elected judge?
560
00:28:28,701 --> 00:28:30,767
Oh, nothing, except
the way it's done.
561
00:28:30,801 --> 00:28:33,167
You may be able to
buy some votes with this,
562
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,267
but, uh, you
won't be able
563
00:28:35,300 --> 00:28:37,434
to buy what we print
in the Enterprise.
564
00:28:37,467 --> 00:28:41,567
One way or another, my husband's
going to be elected judge.
565
00:28:41,601 --> 00:28:44,734
Isn't that, uh, sort
of up to the voters?
566
00:28:44,767 --> 00:28:47,901
Well, I'll, uh, see you
on election day, ma'am.
567
00:28:47,934 --> 00:28:50,534
Oh, and just for the
record, Mrs. Billington,
568
00:28:50,567 --> 00:28:53,133
I may never make a dime
writing all that junk,
569
00:28:53,167 --> 00:28:56,100
but, uh, here's one vote
that's sort of hard to buy.
570
00:28:56,133 --> 00:28:59,567
And I like to pay
for my own drinks.
571
00:29:09,567 --> 00:29:11,534
(sighs)
572
00:29:13,901 --> 00:29:16,200
Sam, I need a filler
for page three.
573
00:29:16,234 --> 00:29:18,067
You know, something
short and snappy.
574
00:29:18,100 --> 00:29:19,234
Yeah, I know.
575
00:29:19,267 --> 00:29:20,801
Give 'em a few laughs, huh?
576
00:29:20,834 --> 00:29:22,067
What's eating you?
577
00:29:22,100 --> 00:29:23,234
Oh, I don't know, Bill.
578
00:29:23,267 --> 00:29:24,667
I guess I'm getting
a little tired
579
00:29:24,701 --> 00:29:26,667
of writing sagebrush humor.
580
00:29:26,701 --> 00:29:29,033
But you write this
kind of stuff so well.
581
00:29:29,067 --> 00:29:30,934
Well, that's just it--
it's-it's stuff.
582
00:29:30,968 --> 00:29:32,200
I like humorous writing,
583
00:29:32,234 --> 00:29:34,567
but I like to say something
along with it.
584
00:29:34,601 --> 00:29:35,901
You make the
miners laugh.
585
00:29:35,934 --> 00:29:37,033
That's the
important thing.
586
00:29:37,067 --> 00:29:38,868
It is?
587
00:29:38,901 --> 00:29:41,567
How about making them think
for a change, huh?
588
00:29:41,601 --> 00:29:42,868
About what?
589
00:29:42,901 --> 00:29:44,400
Well, the election,
for instance.
590
00:29:44,434 --> 00:29:47,400
About the Right Honorable
Jeremy C. Billington.
591
00:29:47,434 --> 00:29:49,501
I don't think
anybody in Virginia City knows
592
00:29:49,534 --> 00:29:51,067
there's another man
running for judge.
593
00:29:51,100 --> 00:29:52,968
Well, there's Henry
Walker, of course.
594
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,100
He runs against
Jeremy every time
595
00:29:55,133 --> 00:29:56,834
and always loses.
596
00:29:56,868 --> 00:29:58,200
People are getting
pretty used
597
00:29:58,234 --> 00:30:00,234
to electing Billington judge,
aren't they?
598
00:30:00,267 --> 00:30:02,200
Yes, I guess by
now they are.
599
00:30:03,300 --> 00:30:05,400
Then why is he spending
so much money
600
00:30:05,434 --> 00:30:06,968
on his campaign this time, hmm?
601
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:10,133
Now that you mention it,
it is kind of unusual.
602
00:30:10,167 --> 00:30:12,334
Yeah. So are
those Paris gowns
603
00:30:12,367 --> 00:30:14,334
that Minnie Billington wears.
604
00:30:14,367 --> 00:30:16,701
Miners are so busy looking
at her low necklines,
605
00:30:16,734 --> 00:30:19,033
they forget who's
paying for them.
606
00:30:19,067 --> 00:30:21,167
Are you afraid the Enterprise
won't print any story
607
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:22,334
you happen to dig up?
608
00:30:22,367 --> 00:30:24,434
You know, I had a
little bet with myself
609
00:30:24,467 --> 00:30:25,701
that you'd go
along with me?
610
00:30:25,734 --> 00:30:27,767
Sam, this is a newspaper,
not a comic strip.
611
00:30:27,801 --> 00:30:29,000
You come up with a story,
612
00:30:29,033 --> 00:30:30,234
and the Enterprise
will print it.
613
00:30:30,267 --> 00:30:31,734
Just as long
as I sign it?
614
00:30:31,767 --> 00:30:33,634
Just as long
as you sign it.
615
00:30:33,667 --> 00:30:35,334
All right.
616
00:30:35,367 --> 00:30:37,367
Well, let me see, uh...
617
00:30:49,667 --> 00:30:51,434
Let's get out of here.
618
00:30:53,334 --> 00:30:55,934
(calling to horses)
619
00:31:02,033 --> 00:31:03,234
Ya! Ya!
620
00:31:03,267 --> 00:31:04,901
(two gunshots)
621
00:31:04,934 --> 00:31:06,868
(calling to horse)
622
00:31:10,067 --> 00:31:11,601
(indistinct shouting)
623
00:31:34,701 --> 00:31:37,000
(gunfire continues)
624
00:31:40,067 --> 00:31:41,567
(groans)
625
00:31:41,601 --> 00:31:43,033
Just a crease.
626
00:31:43,067 --> 00:31:44,534
He ain't hurt bad.
627
00:31:44,567 --> 00:31:47,033
You'd better
have a good story
this time, Mister.
628
00:31:47,067 --> 00:31:48,367
I've got nothing
to say.
629
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,467
Well, you better think
of something quick.
630
00:31:50,501 --> 00:31:52,934
Why take it out
on me?
631
00:31:52,968 --> 00:31:55,033
The man you want is back
in Virginia City.
632
00:31:58,100 --> 00:32:00,467
Get his
horse.
633
00:32:08,701 --> 00:32:10,868
Whoa.
634
00:32:10,901 --> 00:32:13,067
Ah, my dear,
635
00:32:13,100 --> 00:32:15,868
today you are the epitome
of feminine pulchritude.
636
00:32:15,901 --> 00:32:18,367
Don't you talk dirty to
me, Jeremy Billington.
637
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:19,868
(stammers)
638
00:32:19,901 --> 00:32:21,300
(laughs)
639
00:32:21,334 --> 00:32:23,501
I won't be long, my dear.
640
00:32:51,834 --> 00:32:52,801
You Daniel Lash?
641
00:32:52,834 --> 00:32:53,834
What's the meaning
of this?
642
00:32:53,868 --> 00:32:54,934
We'll ask
the questions.
643
00:32:54,968 --> 00:32:56,400
Gentlemen, I
wouldn't like
to cite you
644
00:32:56,434 --> 00:32:57,567
into my court
for threatening.
645
00:32:57,601 --> 00:32:58,767
You, sit down.
646
00:32:58,801 --> 00:33:00,167
We didn't come here
to threaten anyone.
647
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:01,467
We came here
to warn you.
648
00:33:01,501 --> 00:33:03,234
Now, you stay away
from us, Lash.
649
00:33:03,267 --> 00:33:05,133
There'll be
no land grab on
the Ponderosa.
650
00:33:05,167 --> 00:33:06,801
ADAM:
Next time your men
start shooting at us,
651
00:33:06,834 --> 00:33:09,400
we won't be bringing them back
to you alive.
652
00:33:20,234 --> 00:33:22,534
What do you
think happened?
653
00:33:22,567 --> 00:33:25,367
I, uh, think railroad stocks
took a little drop.
654
00:33:39,133 --> 00:33:40,300
It just doesn't
make sense, Pa.
655
00:33:40,334 --> 00:33:41,901
Why would they bypass
the main railroad line
656
00:33:41,934 --> 00:33:44,000
just in order
to cut across the Ponderosa?
657
00:33:44,033 --> 00:33:45,567
25,000 acres
of prime timber
658
00:33:45,601 --> 00:33:46,734
and grazing
land.
659
00:33:46,767 --> 00:33:47,968
That's reason
enough,
isn't it?
660
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,234
Why, the railroad people
could grab that much land
661
00:33:50,267 --> 00:33:51,834
just by checkerboarding
a right-of-way
662
00:33:51,868 --> 00:33:53,033
across our property.
663
00:33:53,067 --> 00:33:54,467
Well, by
checkerboarding,
664
00:33:54,501 --> 00:33:57,067
they could seal off
every other square mile of land.
665
00:33:57,100 --> 00:33:58,334
That's right.
666
00:33:58,367 --> 00:33:59,767
Yeah, but, Pa, would any court
667
00:33:59,801 --> 00:34:01,267
in the land approve
a right-of-way
668
00:34:01,300 --> 00:34:03,334
that ain't nothing
but a front for a land grab?
669
00:34:03,367 --> 00:34:05,834
Not unless
they got to a judge.
670
00:34:05,868 --> 00:34:08,133
Hey, you mean
Judge Billington?
671
00:34:08,167 --> 00:34:10,467
I don't think
it was any coincidence at all
672
00:34:10,501 --> 00:34:12,534
that we found the judge
in Lash's office.
673
00:34:12,567 --> 00:34:14,534
I wouldn't put it past
the old scallywag.
674
00:34:14,567 --> 00:34:15,701
(door opens)
675
00:34:15,734 --> 00:34:16,868
ROSEMARY:
Is anything wrong?
676
00:34:16,901 --> 00:34:18,534
LITTLE JOE:
Hey, Adam.
677
00:34:18,567 --> 00:34:20,467
Hey, take a look
at what happened
678
00:34:20,501 --> 00:34:22,133
to that little
boy you found.
679
00:34:22,167 --> 00:34:24,467
BEN:
Well! (laughs)
680
00:34:24,501 --> 00:34:26,334
Well, you
sure look
pretty.
Thank you.
681
00:34:26,367 --> 00:34:30,067
You know, I don't understand how
I made such a big mistake.
682
00:34:30,100 --> 00:34:31,734
That Hop Sing's a
pretty good outfitter.
683
00:34:31,767 --> 00:34:33,901
Oh, he bought
a lot more
than I need.
684
00:34:33,934 --> 00:34:36,033
I don't know
how to thank
all of you.
685
00:34:36,067 --> 00:34:37,200
Well...
686
00:34:37,234 --> 00:34:39,901
Somebody come here.
687
00:34:39,934 --> 00:34:41,734
Ride up on a mule.
688
00:34:41,767 --> 00:34:43,467
That's all we need.
689
00:34:43,501 --> 00:34:45,200
Another scientific
expedition.
690
00:34:45,234 --> 00:34:47,367
Rosemary, let's find
out who this is.
691
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,300
It's that
newspaper
reporter.
692
00:34:55,334 --> 00:34:57,267
Afternoon.
693
00:34:58,901 --> 00:35:00,534
We, uh...
we printed
the retraction
694
00:35:00,567 --> 00:35:01,734
about the
Wild Man.
695
00:35:01,767 --> 00:35:02,901
So we noticed.
696
00:35:02,934 --> 00:35:04,734
Uh, would you care
to meet him?
697
00:35:04,767 --> 00:35:06,834
Wouldn't that be a
little hard to do?
698
00:35:06,868 --> 00:35:09,701
After all, it was
just something I
sort of dreamed up.
699
00:35:09,734 --> 00:35:11,367
Well, Mr. Clemens,
700
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,534
I think you should be
given the opportunity
701
00:35:13,567 --> 00:35:15,100
of meeting
the Wild Man.
702
00:35:15,133 --> 00:35:16,434
Here she is.
703
00:35:16,467 --> 00:35:17,667
You mean,
she's a...?
704
00:35:17,701 --> 00:35:18,968
HOSS:
That's right,
Mr. Clemens.
705
00:35:19,033 --> 00:35:20,267
There's
your Wild Man.
706
00:35:20,300 --> 00:35:22,868
20 foot tall with a manzanita
bush in each hand
707
00:35:22,901 --> 00:35:24,801
and a waggin' tongue
in her mouth.
708
00:35:24,834 --> 00:35:25,968
(laughter)
709
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,334
Well, I don't know
710
00:35:27,367 --> 00:35:28,934
what they're
talking about, Miss,
711
00:35:28,968 --> 00:35:31,567
but you're the prettiest
Wild Man I ever did see.
712
00:35:31,601 --> 00:35:33,200
Thank you.
713
00:35:33,234 --> 00:35:36,234
Mr. Clemens,
to what do we
owe this visit?
714
00:35:36,267 --> 00:35:37,968
Well, for one thing,
I thought you ought to know
715
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:39,167
there are warrants out
for your arrest.
716
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:42,534
Warrants?
717
00:35:42,567 --> 00:35:45,634
Well, I, uh... I think we ought
to talk about this inside.
718
00:35:45,667 --> 00:35:48,400
Rosemary, tell Hop Sing
we'll have a guest for dinner.
719
00:35:48,434 --> 00:35:49,801
Here, I'll take
your mule.
720
00:35:49,834 --> 00:35:50,968
Thank you.
721
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,767
Come on.
722
00:35:52,801 --> 00:35:55,767
Mr. Clemens,
I homesteaded the Ponderosa,
723
00:35:55,801 --> 00:35:58,067
fought Indians
and drove off outlaws.
724
00:35:58,100 --> 00:36:01,367
I'm not going to let Lash
or anybody else grab my land.
725
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,467
Well, if the railroad
got a legal right-of-way
726
00:36:03,501 --> 00:36:05,067
and checkerboarded
the Ponderosa
727
00:36:05,100 --> 00:36:07,667
with land holdings,
what would you do then?
728
00:36:07,701 --> 00:36:09,367
Fight.
729
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,033
We've got guns,
730
00:36:11,067 --> 00:36:13,167
ammunition,
and friends.
731
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:16,200
You can't fight the law
with guns.
732
00:36:16,234 --> 00:36:18,133
I don't think you have
the proper respect
733
00:36:18,167 --> 00:36:20,000
for guns,
Mr. Clemens.
734
00:36:20,033 --> 00:36:22,567
But you'd be surprised
how many people have.
735
00:36:24,300 --> 00:36:26,267
Oh, I got a lot
of respect for guns.
736
00:36:29,567 --> 00:36:31,067
Good balance.
737
00:36:31,100 --> 00:36:33,767
The thing is that sometimes
you get right smack dab
738
00:36:33,801 --> 00:36:36,133
into a fight
that you can't settle with guns.
739
00:36:36,167 --> 00:36:38,501
Or with, uh, fists.
740
00:36:38,534 --> 00:36:41,000
That's right.
741
00:36:41,033 --> 00:36:43,400
Now, if our hunch
is correct, everything depends
742
00:36:43,434 --> 00:36:45,133
on defeating Billington
in the election
743
00:36:45,167 --> 00:36:46,834
so he won't sell out
to the railroad.
744
00:36:46,868 --> 00:36:48,834
Looks to me like we
ought to get started
745
00:36:48,868 --> 00:36:50,767
then before
the election.
746
00:36:50,801 --> 00:36:52,601
You can't defeat
a politician with guns,
747
00:36:52,634 --> 00:36:55,734
but you might
be able to with laughter.
748
00:36:55,767 --> 00:36:57,701
You mean, laugh
him out of town?
749
00:36:57,734 --> 00:36:59,100
Something like that.
750
00:36:59,133 --> 00:37:01,767
Sometimes the pen is mightier
than the sword.
751
00:37:01,801 --> 00:37:03,300
Well, I don't
know, Mr. Clemens.
752
00:37:03,334 --> 00:37:06,000
I think I'd have to put
my money on the sword.
753
00:37:06,033 --> 00:37:08,167
Yeah, if I was up
against that crowd, I...
754
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:09,901
I think I'd count
on my guns.
755
00:37:09,934 --> 00:37:12,067
Well, wait a minute, boys.
756
00:37:12,100 --> 00:37:14,734
Sam, if you want to fight
this thing out with your pen,
757
00:37:14,767 --> 00:37:16,234
well, that's up to you.
758
00:37:16,267 --> 00:37:18,167
But we'll be around
with our guns
759
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:19,601
to help you if you need us.
760
00:37:19,634 --> 00:37:21,334
Fair enough.
761
00:37:21,367 --> 00:37:22,701
You know, I sure
would like to know
762
00:37:22,734 --> 00:37:23,934
how you're gonna
go about it.
763
00:37:23,968 --> 00:37:27,734
Just keep reading the
Territorial Enterprise.
764
00:37:30,701 --> 00:37:32,400
(indistinct conversations)
765
00:37:43,334 --> 00:37:44,901
"Professor Personal Pronoun
766
00:37:44,934 --> 00:37:47,634
Runs For Office
in Virginia City"-- by Josh.
767
00:37:47,667 --> 00:37:50,701
"Jeremy C. Billington,
friend of the miner,
768
00:37:50,734 --> 00:37:53,300
"the mill worker
and the back alley dog,
769
00:37:53,334 --> 00:37:55,601
"spoke at a political
rally last night.
770
00:37:55,634 --> 00:37:58,133
"Most of the speech
was devoted to the nobility
771
00:37:58,167 --> 00:38:00,133
"of Mr. Billington himself.
772
00:38:00,167 --> 00:38:01,667
"An alarming number of sentences
773
00:38:01,701 --> 00:38:04,000
"began with the pronoun 'I',
774
00:38:04,033 --> 00:38:05,901
"which qualifies the
Judge as a professor
775
00:38:05,934 --> 00:38:08,300
"on the subject
of personal pronouns.
776
00:38:08,334 --> 00:38:11,234
"During the discourse, it was
possible for this reporter
777
00:38:11,267 --> 00:38:14,400
"to discover that the professor
is against sin,
778
00:38:14,434 --> 00:38:17,834
gravy on the vest,
and overflowing water closets."
779
00:38:17,868 --> 00:38:19,734
Hey, this fellow Josh
gets right to the seat
780
00:38:19,767 --> 00:38:22,067
of the trouble, don't he?
781
00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:23,334
I guess our friend Josh
782
00:38:23,367 --> 00:38:25,534
knows what he's
doing, after all.
783
00:38:25,567 --> 00:38:28,300
Josh claims Professor
Personal Pronoun will provide
784
00:38:28,334 --> 00:38:32,634
more free air, stronger zephyrs,
taller mine mules.
785
00:38:32,667 --> 00:38:34,167
He's making a fool of you!
786
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:35,734
That doesn't mean a thing!
787
00:38:35,767 --> 00:38:37,701
I'll beat Henry Walker
by 3,000 votes!
788
00:38:37,734 --> 00:38:39,300
Billington, I've
got too big a hand
789
00:38:39,334 --> 00:38:42,300
in this game
to take chances!
790
00:38:42,334 --> 00:38:45,133
No quack newspaper reporter
is going to stand
791
00:38:45,167 --> 00:38:47,567
between me and the Ponderosa.
792
00:38:56,100 --> 00:38:58,367
(thud, Sam groaning)
793
00:39:23,267 --> 00:39:24,934
Doesn't look too bad.
794
00:39:24,968 --> 00:39:26,300
Well, you had enough?
795
00:39:26,334 --> 00:39:27,534
No, Bill.
796
00:39:27,567 --> 00:39:28,868
Billington's got to be beaten
797
00:39:28,901 --> 00:39:31,200
for the good of everyone
in Virginia City.
798
00:39:31,234 --> 00:39:34,200
I think I might just have
the story that'll do it.
799
00:39:39,133 --> 00:39:41,734
Sam?! Sam!
800
00:39:47,601 --> 00:39:49,501
I want to see
Judge Billington.
801
00:39:49,534 --> 00:39:51,467
I think the Judge
has retired.
802
00:39:51,501 --> 00:39:53,434
That's all right,
he's expecting me.
803
00:40:21,834 --> 00:40:23,033
(knocking continues)
804
00:40:23,067 --> 00:40:24,267
MINNIE:
Who is it?
805
00:40:24,300 --> 00:40:26,200
I'm from
Lash's office.
806
00:40:26,234 --> 00:40:28,601
It's about time.
807
00:40:28,634 --> 00:40:29,701
Is it in gold?
808
00:40:30,801 --> 00:40:32,701
Yes, it's gold, all right.
809
00:40:32,734 --> 00:40:34,968
We had to collect it from
one of the gambling places.
810
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,400
That's why I was late.
811
00:40:36,434 --> 00:40:37,601
Well, let me see it.
812
00:40:37,634 --> 00:40:38,701
Let me see it!
813
00:40:40,667 --> 00:40:42,968
(loud jangling)
814
00:40:50,367 --> 00:40:53,334
"...and there she stood,
nightgown torn right off...
815
00:40:53,367 --> 00:40:56,167
(clamoring excitedly)
816
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:58,000
"Gold pieces six inches deep
817
00:40:58,033 --> 00:41:01,000
around the prettiest bare
feet in Virginia City."
818
00:41:01,033 --> 00:41:02,434
Wish I could've seen that!
Oh!
819
00:41:02,467 --> 00:41:04,434
(chuckling)
820
00:41:04,467 --> 00:41:07,501
Uh... "Money may be the
root of all evil,
821
00:41:07,534 --> 00:41:11,300
but a lady without a nightgown
sure takes the curse off it."
822
00:41:11,334 --> 00:41:13,968
Oh!
Oh, and how!
823
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:18,467
"Maybe Mr. Daniel Lash's
foreman has a case pending
824
00:41:18,501 --> 00:41:21,734
"in Professor Personal
Pronoun's Court.
825
00:41:21,767 --> 00:41:23,868
"But if he has,
we're sure this was
826
00:41:23,901 --> 00:41:26,734
just his tribute
to feminine beauty."
827
00:41:26,767 --> 00:41:28,767
(chuckling)
828
00:41:28,801 --> 00:41:30,801
Beating up that reporter
829
00:41:30,834 --> 00:41:33,400
didn't stop him from
writing more stories.
830
00:41:33,434 --> 00:41:35,133
Well, there's one way
we can stop him
831
00:41:35,167 --> 00:41:37,634
from ever writing
another line.
832
00:41:37,667 --> 00:41:39,801
That might be
better all around.
833
00:41:39,834 --> 00:41:43,100
He won't amount to much
as a writer anyway.
834
00:41:43,133 --> 00:41:44,801
I can make sure of that.
835
00:41:44,834 --> 00:41:48,000
Get him out of my
way, permanently.
836
00:41:55,267 --> 00:41:56,968
My friends...
837
00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:00,300
My friends, in this election,
838
00:42:00,334 --> 00:42:03,834
do not allow yourselves to be
tricked by the special interests
839
00:42:03,868 --> 00:42:06,367
spearheaded
by a libelous newspaper
840
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:10,000
determined to overthrow the
will of the common people.
841
00:42:10,033 --> 00:42:11,834
If I am elected,
842
00:42:11,868 --> 00:42:16,467
we will drive these thieves of
liberty out of Virginia City
843
00:42:16,501 --> 00:42:20,000
and once more,
every man will be a king
844
00:42:20,033 --> 00:42:22,634
and every woman a queen.
845
00:42:22,667 --> 00:42:25,400
(crowd laughing)
With deuces wild?
846
00:42:25,434 --> 00:42:27,601
My friends, my friends!
847
00:42:28,701 --> 00:42:30,434
Get up.
My friends!
848
00:42:30,467 --> 00:42:32,167
Try anything and
people get hurt.
849
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,567
My friends, I believe
in fair play.
850
00:42:35,601 --> 00:42:38,801
That's my motto, fair play.
851
00:42:38,834 --> 00:42:40,434
What do you charge for
it, Billington, huh?
852
00:42:40,467 --> 00:42:44,434
My friends, my friends,
do not believe the lies
853
00:42:44,467 --> 00:42:46,934
perpetrated by a man who refuses
854
00:42:46,968 --> 00:42:49,801
to sign his own name
to his articles,
855
00:42:49,834 --> 00:42:53,100
but insists on being called
"Josh."
856
00:42:53,133 --> 00:42:54,567
(gunshots)
857
00:42:54,601 --> 00:42:56,701
My friends, my friends,
listen to me!
858
00:42:56,734 --> 00:42:58,534
(gunshots)
859
00:42:58,567 --> 00:43:00,901
You've known me all
your lives, my friends.
860
00:43:00,934 --> 00:43:02,334
Oh, shut up.
861
00:43:02,367 --> 00:43:03,834
Your friends, my eye.
862
00:43:03,868 --> 00:43:05,334
Let's get out of here!
863
00:43:40,434 --> 00:43:41,868
Where's Sam Clemens?
864
00:43:41,901 --> 00:43:43,767
He's covering the
political rally.
865
00:43:43,801 --> 00:43:46,067
Aren't you folks taking a big
chance, coming into town?
866
00:43:46,100 --> 00:43:48,033
Apparently not as much of
a chance as Sam Clemens.
867
00:43:48,067 --> 00:43:49,467
We heard he was beaten up.
868
00:43:49,501 --> 00:43:50,968
Didn't stop him, he's
still going strong.
869
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,868
Yeah, but how long can
he keep on taking it?
870
00:43:52,901 --> 00:43:54,834
(gunshots)
871
00:44:01,267 --> 00:44:02,767
HENCHMAN:
Come over here!
872
00:44:02,801 --> 00:44:05,067
(gunshots)
873
00:44:13,734 --> 00:44:14,934
You need some help.
874
00:44:14,968 --> 00:44:16,234
That must've been
quite a rally!
875
00:44:16,267 --> 00:44:17,767
I gotta get this story
on the presses.
876
00:44:18,534 --> 00:44:20,334
All right, now!
877
00:44:26,467 --> 00:44:28,067
Got to get this story out.
878
00:44:28,100 --> 00:44:29,868
Sounds like you started
a riot! What happened?
879
00:44:29,901 --> 00:44:31,434
Read about it in
your next edition.
880
00:44:31,467 --> 00:44:35,133
Adam, Joe, you're next.
881
00:44:35,167 --> 00:44:36,200
Go!
882
00:44:41,033 --> 00:44:43,801
Knock off a fast
proof, will you?
883
00:44:48,501 --> 00:44:50,234
(horse neighs)
884
00:44:57,334 --> 00:44:59,801
Hey, Josh, I sure am
anxious to read that story.
885
00:44:59,834 --> 00:45:01,801
Josh.
886
00:45:01,834 --> 00:45:03,067
That's what's wrong!
887
00:45:03,100 --> 00:45:04,567
LITTLE JOE:
What's wrong?
888
00:45:04,601 --> 00:45:06,300
I knew it all along.
889
00:45:06,334 --> 00:45:07,501
It just wasn't right.
890
00:45:07,534 --> 00:45:08,667
Hey, don't stop writing!
891
00:45:08,701 --> 00:45:09,868
Come on, finish it!
892
00:45:09,901 --> 00:45:12,133
For Pete's sake, Sam,
finish the story!
893
00:45:16,234 --> 00:45:17,200
Come on!
894
00:45:17,234 --> 00:45:19,400
Hoss!
895
00:45:35,467 --> 00:45:37,367
C'mon, go that way.
896
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:40,567
You know, Joe,
when I was a boy
897
00:45:40,601 --> 00:45:42,501
living on the banks
of the Mississippi,
898
00:45:42,534 --> 00:45:45,234
I used to dream
about becoming a
river pilot someday.
899
00:45:45,267 --> 00:45:47,968
Well, dream about
it some other time.
900
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:49,434
(gunshots)
901
00:45:49,467 --> 00:45:51,000
Hurry up with that darn story!
902
00:45:51,033 --> 00:45:53,367
Hoss, watch the back door!
903
00:45:55,300 --> 00:45:57,467
Josh, get down!
904
00:45:59,834 --> 00:46:01,367
You'd have to live
on the Mississippi
905
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:02,601
to know what it's really like.
906
00:46:02,634 --> 00:46:06,033
The way those big old boats
come down the river,
907
00:46:06,067 --> 00:46:09,033
the leadsman standing
out there on the bow,
908
00:46:09,067 --> 00:46:12,534
taking the depth and singing it
out to the pilot on the bridge.
909
00:46:12,567 --> 00:46:16,133
On a summer evening, it,
uh, has the sound of music.
910
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,467
Music?
911
00:46:23,501 --> 00:46:25,334
You don't get that story
finished, the only thing
912
00:46:25,367 --> 00:46:27,734
you're gonna hear
is a funeral march.
913
00:46:32,834 --> 00:46:35,467
I can still hear it.
914
00:46:35,501 --> 00:46:38,767
"Mark four!"
915
00:46:38,801 --> 00:46:41,567
"Mark three!"
916
00:46:41,601 --> 00:46:44,434
"Quarter less three!"
917
00:46:44,467 --> 00:46:46,100
"Half twain!"
918
00:46:46,133 --> 00:46:49,601
"Quarter twain!"
919
00:46:49,634 --> 00:46:51,767
"Mark Twain!"
920
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:09,133
(grunting)
921
00:47:15,534 --> 00:47:17,367
Joe, I've got it!
922
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,567
You sure almost did
get it, Mr. Clemens.
923
00:47:19,601 --> 00:47:20,734
No, you don't understand.
924
00:47:20,767 --> 00:47:22,534
I mean, I've finally
found my name.
925
00:47:22,567 --> 00:47:24,534
Ain't your name Samuel Clemens?
926
00:47:24,567 --> 00:47:26,801
No, Hoss, I mean my pen name.
927
00:47:26,834 --> 00:47:28,133
Mark Twain.
928
00:47:28,167 --> 00:47:29,901
That means river
running clear,
929
00:47:29,934 --> 00:47:31,901
two fathoms of water
beneath the keel.
930
00:47:31,934 --> 00:47:34,501
That's what river men
call real clear sailing.
931
00:47:34,534 --> 00:47:35,934
Everything's pretty clear
932
00:47:35,968 --> 00:47:37,501
around here right now,
Mr. Clemens.
933
00:47:40,701 --> 00:47:43,334
I don't know about
that name, Mark Twain.
934
00:47:43,367 --> 00:47:46,100
Seem to me like I've heard a lot
better names than that before.
935
00:47:46,133 --> 00:47:48,968
You sure that's a fitting
name for a writer?
936
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,367
(chuckling):
Well, I don't know, Hoss.
937
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:52,000
We'll just have to
give it a try.
938
00:47:52,033 --> 00:47:53,634
You got the finish
of that story, Sam?
939
00:47:53,667 --> 00:47:56,100
Everything but the byline.
940
00:47:56,133 --> 00:47:58,200
Sign it-- "Mark Twain."
941
00:47:58,234 --> 00:47:59,834
Mark Twain?
942
00:47:59,868 --> 00:48:01,400
Well, it's better than Josh.
943
00:48:01,434 --> 00:48:03,834
What happened
to Samuel Clemens?
944
00:48:03,868 --> 00:48:06,000
I guess we've seen the
last of Sam Clemens.
945
00:48:06,033 --> 00:48:07,400
You know something?
946
00:48:07,434 --> 00:48:08,801
I like it.
947
00:48:08,834 --> 00:48:10,501
Mark Twain.
948
00:48:12,534 --> 00:48:14,467
Mark Twain.
949
00:48:15,667 --> 00:48:20,400
(indistinct shouting, cheering)
950
00:48:20,434 --> 00:48:23,667
Here she is, Sam,
hot off the press.
951
00:48:23,701 --> 00:48:27,200
"Professor Personal Pronoun
Won't be Around Anymore."
952
00:48:27,234 --> 00:48:28,434
(crowd laughing)
953
00:48:28,467 --> 00:48:29,434
By Mark Twain.
954
00:48:29,467 --> 00:48:30,968
That was quite
a fight, Sam.
955
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:32,634
Yeah, I guess you
were right at that,
956
00:48:32,667 --> 00:48:34,033
the pen is mightier
than the sword.
957
00:48:34,067 --> 00:48:35,734
Anytime you wanna visit
Virginia City again,
958
00:48:35,767 --> 00:48:37,067
you just write us
and let us know.
959
00:48:37,100 --> 00:48:39,701
And be sure to sign it "Mark
Twain" so we know who it is.
960
00:48:39,734 --> 00:48:41,868
Bye, Sam!
I sure will.
961
00:48:41,901 --> 00:48:43,868
I'll sign it-- "Mark Twain."
962
00:48:43,901 --> 00:48:46,934
(all saying good-byes)
963
00:48:46,968 --> 00:48:49,901
(all cheering)
69332
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
