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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,530 --> 00:00:07,920 So, Dad, how's it feel being retired? 2 00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:11,620 I'm not retired, I just don't work anymore. 3 00:00:11,820 --> 00:00:15,260 Isn't that the definition of "retired"? 4 00:00:15,460 --> 00:00:17,600 Sure, I sold the Pit Stop, all right, 5 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,370 but I got a lot of irons in the fire. 6 00:00:19,570 --> 00:00:22,800 Mark Cuban sold his company. Do you call him retired? 7 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:23,940 (chuckles) 8 00:00:24,140 --> 00:00:27,170 No, because he owns a basketball team. 9 00:00:27,370 --> 00:00:29,710 Yeah, and, like, 60 other companies. 10 00:00:29,910 --> 00:00:33,550 And like a fool, I invested in smartasses. 11 00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:35,250 (laughs) 12 00:00:35,450 --> 00:00:36,880 Oh, that's funny. 13 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,180 (laughs) 14 00:00:38,380 --> 00:00:39,550 You know, I just had a thought. 15 00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:41,250 Oh, she's been thinking about this for a while. 16 00:00:41,450 --> 00:00:42,490 Mm-hmm. 17 00:00:42,690 --> 00:00:44,620 Maybe, Calvin, I'm just thinking 18 00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:47,490 maybe now is a good time for you and I 19 00:00:47,690 --> 00:00:48,830 to go on a vacation. 20 00:00:49,030 --> 00:00:51,660 Oh, so much planning went into this moment. 21 00:00:51,860 --> 00:00:54,270 Remember when we didn't take a honeymoon, 22 00:00:54,470 --> 00:00:56,970 and you said we will when we have the money? 23 00:00:57,170 --> 00:00:58,840 Well, now we have the money, 24 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,540 and you don't have to worry about leaving the shop 25 00:01:01,740 --> 00:01:02,980 with someone else. Hmm. 26 00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:05,780 She got him. Mm-hmm. 27 00:01:05,980 --> 00:01:07,580 So now would be a perfect time 28 00:01:07,780 --> 00:01:09,380 for us to take that honeymoon we never had 29 00:01:09,580 --> 00:01:11,980 but always dreamed of. 30 00:01:12,190 --> 00:01:13,440 Madrid. 31 00:01:15,870 --> 00:01:18,620 She thinking international? Yes. 32 00:01:18,820 --> 00:01:23,000 Imagine long strolls down cobblestone streets, 33 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,230 wine and tapas at sunset. 34 00:01:25,430 --> 00:01:27,970 I do like small plates. Right? 35 00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:31,000 Yeah, and how about naps in hotel beds? 36 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,540 I do like hotel beds. 37 00:01:33,740 --> 00:01:35,510 Well, let's do it. 38 00:01:35,710 --> 00:01:38,010 Definitely. (boys cheer) 39 00:01:38,210 --> 00:01:39,350 Definitely. 40 00:01:39,550 --> 00:01:41,280 But not right now. 41 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:43,320 You know, 42 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,320 I started cleaning out the garage, and, you know, 43 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,690 that's a whole thing, that's gonna take a while. 44 00:01:48,890 --> 00:01:49,720 So, you know. 45 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,490 Come on, Calvin, we never travel. 46 00:01:52,690 --> 00:01:54,730 We just went to San Diego. 47 00:01:54,930 --> 00:01:56,800 We took a two-hour car ride 48 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,500 so you guys could go to that miniature engineering museum. 49 00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:02,100 (laughs) You remember that tiny crane? 50 00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:05,220 (imitating hydraulics) 51 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,860 (laughter) It was so cute. It was so cute. 52 00:02:11,290 --> 00:02:15,050 Come on, babe, we just can't leave the country. 53 00:02:15,250 --> 00:02:17,380 What if something happened to one of our kids? 54 00:02:17,580 --> 00:02:20,100 Like what, they lose a tooth? 55 00:02:21,670 --> 00:02:22,920 They're grown-ass men. 56 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,090 And that Pit Stop is not your problem anymore. 57 00:02:25,290 --> 00:02:27,830 You know, I have been waiting decades 58 00:02:28,030 --> 00:02:29,400 just to have you all to myself, 59 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:32,130 and you know what, I am tired of waiting. 60 00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:34,080 Okay, Tina... 61 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,500 Hey, come on, Pop. 62 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,870 Mom supported your dream of growing your business 63 00:02:39,070 --> 00:02:40,240 for 30 years. 64 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,010 Now it's your turn to support her dreams. 65 00:02:42,210 --> 00:02:43,880 But I hate traveling. 66 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,410 It's so expensive, 67 00:02:45,610 --> 00:02:47,610 there's always so many people around, 68 00:02:47,810 --> 00:02:51,720 and there's never anything to eat but Sbarro's. 69 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:54,090 They always promise other things are gonna be open, 70 00:02:54,290 --> 00:02:57,720 but it's only Sbarro's. 71 00:02:57,920 --> 00:02:59,010 Daddy. 72 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,330 You got to do it. 73 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:03,910 While you still can. 74 00:03:05,910 --> 00:03:07,750 How old do you think I am? 75 00:03:09,050 --> 00:03:11,440 Ah, goodness. 76 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:13,370 Your mother was really excited 77 00:03:13,570 --> 00:03:14,670 about this trip idea, though, huh? 78 00:03:14,870 --> 00:03:16,640 Yeah, and I guarantee those tickets are 79 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,210 pulled up on her computer. 80 00:03:18,410 --> 00:03:20,010 MARTY: Mm-hmm. 81 00:03:20,210 --> 00:03:21,880 Yeah. 82 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,100 Tina, baby? 83 00:03:26,170 --> 00:03:28,250 Let's go eat tiny portions of meat. 84 00:03:28,450 --> 00:03:30,890 Oh, baby, mmm-mmm-mmm. 85 00:03:31,090 --> 00:03:32,290 Thank you! 86 00:03:32,490 --> 00:03:34,760 Okay, our flight leaves at 2:45 on Wednesday, 87 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:39,080 or as they say in España, miércoles. 88 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,570 * Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood * 89 00:03:42,770 --> 00:03:44,120 * Welcome to the hood. * 90 00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,140 ("Shave and a Haircut" knock on door) 91 00:03:51,340 --> 00:03:52,280 BOTH: Dave. 92 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:54,050 Oh, he's gonna be mad 93 00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:55,930 that we're playing a board game without him. 94 00:03:57,700 --> 00:03:59,720 Hey! Oh, hey, guys, listen. 95 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,050 We were thinking, with your dad retiring and all, 96 00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:03,810 that maybe we would... 97 00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:11,850 You guys playing Scrabble without me? 98 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:14,570 You challenge every word, Dave. 99 00:04:14,770 --> 00:04:17,050 It is my right, Malcolm. 100 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,170 Anyway, we thought it would be nice 101 00:04:21,370 --> 00:04:23,340 if we got your dad a present as a congrats 102 00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:24,580 for selling the shop. 103 00:04:24,780 --> 00:04:26,080 What if we got him a fondue set? 104 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:27,310 Or is that too obvious? 105 00:04:27,510 --> 00:04:28,780 GEMMA: Ooh... 106 00:04:28,980 --> 00:04:30,780 What if we got them a Jacuzzi? 107 00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:32,920 It could be waiting for them in their backyard when they return. 108 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:36,320 Hmm, Dad's not too into sitting idly in hot water. 109 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:37,760 I can hear him now. (scoffs) 110 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,240 "What am I, some kind of food cart hot dog?" 111 00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:45,400 You know, Pop did mention he was cleaning out the garage. 112 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:46,770 We could finish that job for him. 113 00:04:46,970 --> 00:04:48,100 Oh. Yes. 114 00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:49,740 We could clean it out and set it up as a space 115 00:04:49,940 --> 00:04:51,190 for him to work on his cars. 116 00:04:51,690 --> 00:04:55,440 A secret reno for a worthy recipient. 117 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,490 How HGTV of us. 118 00:05:00,030 --> 00:05:03,320 If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times: 119 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,680 checking a bag is never a good idea. 120 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,590 You've said it a hundred times. 121 00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:10,420 You remember when we went to Kansas City, 122 00:05:10,620 --> 00:05:11,560 and they lost my luggage? 123 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,890 I had to flip my drawers every day 124 00:05:14,090 --> 00:05:15,180 for a week. 125 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,560 Okay... Babe, 126 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,570 are we visiting Spain or moving there? 127 00:05:21,770 --> 00:05:23,470 Well, I need nine daytime looks 128 00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:24,970 and eight nighttime looks. 129 00:05:25,170 --> 00:05:27,740 (chuckles) You need to learn to pack like me. 130 00:05:27,940 --> 00:05:30,040 Two pairs of shorts, three shirts, 131 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,860 and ten pairs of drawers for safety. 132 00:05:35,730 --> 00:05:37,350 MAN: Next. 133 00:05:37,550 --> 00:05:38,520 Oh, good. 134 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,020 Are you checking any bags today? 135 00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:41,450 Well, uh, my wife is. 136 00:05:41,650 --> 00:05:43,220 I know better than to be separated 137 00:05:43,420 --> 00:05:44,640 from my belongings. 138 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,060 Yeah, here we go. 139 00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:49,430 Ma'am, 140 00:05:49,630 --> 00:05:51,950 your bag is three pounds over the limit. 141 00:05:54,450 --> 00:05:58,000 Really, Ronnie? I mean, what are you, the pound police? 142 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,160 That's literally my job. 143 00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:04,680 Okay, fine, I'll just take some stuff 144 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:09,210 out of my bag and put it in yours. Okay... 145 00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:11,930 She couldn't see this coming? 146 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:16,020 All right, then. Okay, all right, fine. 147 00:06:16,220 --> 00:06:18,720 I'll just take a few things out of here. 148 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,160 Okay, oh. Ooh, ooh, ooh. 149 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:22,160 What? 150 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:25,760 They touched the floor! 151 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:29,070 Calvin, my underwear touched the airport floor! 152 00:06:29,270 --> 00:06:33,740 Babe, babe, you are literally yelling about your underwear 153 00:06:33,940 --> 00:06:35,120 at the airport. 154 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:37,610 Oh, my God. Ugh! What are you doing? 155 00:06:37,810 --> 00:06:39,380 Tina... Okay. 156 00:06:39,580 --> 00:06:41,680 Tina-- Oh, oh, oh, oh. 157 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,070 Okay. All right. 158 00:06:45,630 --> 00:06:49,050 Tina, Tina... calm-calm down, babe, okay? 159 00:06:49,250 --> 00:06:50,520 All right, I'm gonna calm down. Just think, 160 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,490 now, in 15 hours you'll be sipping sangria 161 00:06:53,690 --> 00:06:55,660 under string lights, okay? 162 00:06:55,860 --> 00:06:58,560 Yeah. I like string lights. Yes, yes. 163 00:06:58,760 --> 00:06:59,570 Okay. Okay. 164 00:06:59,770 --> 00:07:00,870 Here we go. 165 00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:02,100 All right, um, you hold that, hold that. 166 00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:04,220 Oh, yeah, sure. I'll take this. 167 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,480 Whew, look at that. Nice and light. 168 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,600 So light. 169 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,770 Two pounds over. 170 00:07:17,630 --> 00:07:19,690 Damn it, Ronnie, I swear, you not gonna-- 171 00:07:19,890 --> 00:07:22,200 Ronnie think I'm playing. 172 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:24,890 Everything in here is junk. 173 00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:28,560 Uh, I'm sorry, you're calling both of these VHS tapes 174 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:29,960 of Mighty Joe Young junk? 175 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:31,900 (laughs) 176 00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:33,800 You know, this is the part of the home reno show 177 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,670 where they hire somebody to come in 178 00:07:35,870 --> 00:07:37,240 and do all this work for them. 179 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:38,740 Oh, that's a great idea. 180 00:07:38,940 --> 00:07:40,810 I can call one of those junk removal companies. 181 00:07:41,010 --> 00:07:42,480 You guys move all this junk onto the driveway, 182 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:44,710 we can go get brunch, and by the time we get back, 183 00:07:44,910 --> 00:07:46,710 all this stuff will be gone. 184 00:07:46,910 --> 00:07:49,110 Wait a minute. Are y'all really that lazy? 185 00:07:49,310 --> 00:07:50,300 I am. 186 00:07:51,630 --> 00:07:53,450 (scanner beeps) 187 00:07:53,650 --> 00:07:55,790 (beep) Oh, Mr. Butler, we're gonna have to ask you 188 00:07:55,990 --> 00:07:57,290 to check your carry-on. 189 00:07:57,490 --> 00:08:00,280 Well, thank you for asking, but my answer is no. 190 00:08:01,140 --> 00:08:03,130 The flight is overbooked. 191 00:08:03,330 --> 00:08:05,260 There's no more room in the overhead compartment. 192 00:08:05,460 --> 00:08:07,830 Well, I'll-I'll just stick it under my seat. 193 00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:12,170 Babe, just give her the bag so we can get to Madrid. 194 00:08:12,370 --> 00:08:14,210 Please. Thank you. 195 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,640 Yeah. Thank you. 196 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:17,940 Okay. (beep) 197 00:08:18,140 --> 00:08:21,360 Go. It's about to be some tapas up in here. 198 00:08:23,430 --> 00:08:24,620 (beep) 199 00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:27,440 Oh, we're gonna need you to check your bag. 200 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:34,960 Look at this beautiful junk-free driveway. 201 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:36,230 You know, calling the trash people 202 00:08:36,430 --> 00:08:38,100 while we got brunch was brilliant. 203 00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,870 (laughs) All we had to do was eat biscuits. 204 00:08:41,070 --> 00:08:42,270 Some of us didn't see the biscuits 205 00:08:42,470 --> 00:08:44,120 until all the biscuits were gone. 206 00:08:49,220 --> 00:08:52,340 Oh, wow, it is actually huge in here. 207 00:08:52,540 --> 00:08:55,210 Okay, now the best man caves always have themes. 208 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,920 Now, what are we thinking? Tiki bar? Sports memorabilia? 209 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,150 Oh, actually, you know what's really cool? 210 00:09:01,350 --> 00:09:03,360 Swords. 211 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:06,090 Or, or, instead of swords, 212 00:09:06,290 --> 00:09:09,110 maybe it could be "garage-themed." 213 00:09:10,410 --> 00:09:13,400 Uh, Dad, where is Mr. Calvin's smoker? 214 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,130 It's in the driveway, where it always is. 215 00:09:15,330 --> 00:09:16,200 No, it's not. 216 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,050 What? 217 00:09:19,390 --> 00:09:20,840 The smoker's not here. 218 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:22,010 Maybe they moved it so they'd have 219 00:09:22,210 --> 00:09:23,610 easier access to the trash. 220 00:09:23,810 --> 00:09:25,110 No, it's gone. 221 00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:27,450 Maybe they thought it was trash. 222 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,720 You did put those piles kind of close to the smoker. 223 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,580 You watched us move it all, Marty. 224 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:32,620 You didn't say any of that. 225 00:09:32,820 --> 00:09:34,020 Hey, man. 226 00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:36,690 Marty, don't you think you should have been 227 00:09:36,890 --> 00:09:37,820 a little more clear? 228 00:09:38,020 --> 00:09:39,860 Well, David, don't you think 229 00:09:40,060 --> 00:09:41,130 you should have put the trash further away 230 00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:42,330 from Dad's most prized possession?! 231 00:09:42,530 --> 00:09:44,110 Don't put this on me! 232 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:46,880 (phone ringing) 233 00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:49,300 Oh, no, that's Mama. 234 00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:50,570 Don't answer it. 235 00:09:50,770 --> 00:09:52,540 Oh, there's no way I'm answering that. 236 00:09:52,740 --> 00:09:55,670 (phone ringing) 237 00:09:55,870 --> 00:09:58,410 Oh, it's a video call. Don't answer it! 238 00:09:58,610 --> 00:10:00,010 I have to, it's Mommy. 239 00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:01,550 No, Marty, don't... 240 00:10:01,750 --> 00:10:03,080 Hi, Mommy. 241 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,080 What, your brother's sending me to voice mail now? 242 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:08,120 Oh, no, no, I meant to hit the green button, Mama. 243 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,320 I-I just wanted y'all to see that your father's 244 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,860 on a actual plane. Look. (laughs) 245 00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:14,690 Hey! Hey! 246 00:10:14,890 --> 00:10:16,830 The Butlers are international, baby! 247 00:10:17,030 --> 00:10:18,660 Hey, where are y'all? 248 00:10:18,860 --> 00:10:20,430 Uh, nowhere. 249 00:10:20,630 --> 00:10:22,670 Yeah, no, we was out here playing pickleball. Hello, Calvin. 250 00:10:22,870 --> 00:10:26,300 Shh! You know what, y'all should go on airplane mode. 251 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,020 Have a great flight. 252 00:10:30,090 --> 00:10:32,830 He's gonna kill us. 253 00:10:40,670 --> 00:10:41,450 Okay. 254 00:10:41,650 --> 00:10:43,460 You know what, I'll just-- 255 00:10:43,660 --> 00:10:45,620 I'll just put it right up under my seat, like I said. 256 00:10:45,820 --> 00:10:47,330 No problem. 257 00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:51,030 Yeah, all right. Yeah. Okay. 258 00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:52,800 We did it. (laughs) 259 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,740 I am so excited. I can almost taste the paella. 260 00:10:56,940 --> 00:10:59,910 Excuse me. Sorry. Uh, I'm the window. 261 00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:01,170 Oh. Okay. 262 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:02,240 You got it, amigo. 263 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:03,610 Yes. There you go. 264 00:11:03,810 --> 00:11:05,240 All right. Good? 265 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,310 Here we go. All right. Come, boy. 266 00:11:07,510 --> 00:11:09,110 Oh, you have a dog. 267 00:11:09,310 --> 00:11:13,820 Oh. Oh, okay. (laughs) 268 00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:15,190 TINA: All right, there you go. Okay, all right. 269 00:11:15,390 --> 00:11:17,470 Okay. All right. 270 00:11:19,610 --> 00:11:21,630 Where the hell is this horse going? 271 00:11:21,830 --> 00:11:23,230 You know, 272 00:11:23,430 --> 00:11:24,860 this is my seat. 273 00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:26,900 My-my seat comes with space for my legs. 274 00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:29,130 Your dog is in my leg space. 275 00:11:29,330 --> 00:11:30,270 You don't like dogs? 276 00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:31,600 I like dogs fine. 277 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,110 Well, you can pet him if you like. 278 00:11:33,310 --> 00:11:34,860 I don't like. 279 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:37,540 You need to take your seats now 280 00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:39,080 so we can have an on-time departure. 281 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:42,080 Sherlock, sit. Calvin, sit. 282 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:46,150 I can't take my seat because, as a human who paid for my seat, 283 00:11:46,350 --> 00:11:48,720 I have nowhere to put my human legs 284 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:51,990 because Shaggy here is traveling to Spain 285 00:11:52,190 --> 00:11:53,860 with Scooby-Doo. 286 00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:55,990 This man does not like dogs! 287 00:11:56,190 --> 00:11:57,800 (all booing) 288 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,230 Dog-ophobe! 289 00:11:59,430 --> 00:12:01,030 No, no, no, he loves dogs. 290 00:12:01,230 --> 00:12:03,400 He cried at Marley & Me. 291 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,770 You know what? Since y'all like dogs so much, 292 00:12:05,970 --> 00:12:07,610 then somebody switch seats with me. 293 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,180 TINA: Yeah. CALVIN: Huh? Yeah. 294 00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:12,640 That's what I thought. 295 00:12:12,850 --> 00:12:14,680 Sir, I need you to take your seat. 296 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,580 We can't push away from the gate until you're in your seat. 297 00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:18,220 WOMAN: Sit down! (overlapping shouting) 298 00:12:18,420 --> 00:12:20,190 Oh, no. Oh, you know what? 299 00:12:20,390 --> 00:12:22,500 I'll sit down when the moose moves. 300 00:12:23,570 --> 00:12:27,190 Uh-uh. That bag was tagged to be gate-checked. 301 00:12:27,390 --> 00:12:28,790 It's in the system. 302 00:12:28,990 --> 00:12:30,160 Well, just untag it. 303 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:31,430 It doesn't work like that. 304 00:12:31,630 --> 00:12:33,400 Once it's tagged, it's tagged for life. 305 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:35,600 We're going to have to open up the doors again. 306 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:37,170 And that will cause a delay. (crowd clamoring) 307 00:12:37,370 --> 00:12:39,040 Well... Nice work, Karen! 308 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,470 I-I... I am not a Karen. (overlapping shouting) 309 00:12:41,670 --> 00:12:43,210 You know what? I need to see your manager. 310 00:12:43,410 --> 00:12:45,530 I don't... I don't feel safe right now. 311 00:12:46,630 --> 00:12:47,910 It's already in the landfill?! 312 00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:51,920 You're supposed to repurpose this stuff! 313 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,250 No, I will not hold for a survey! 314 00:12:54,450 --> 00:12:56,860 (scoffs) 315 00:12:57,060 --> 00:12:59,690 Well, I guess we're buying Calvin a new smoker. 316 00:12:59,890 --> 00:13:01,430 The old one was getting kind of gross anyway. 317 00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:03,200 Uh, Gemma, Gemma, Gemma, 318 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,960 one does not simply replace Dad's smoker. 319 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,100 Yeah, that thing had 20 years of seasoning on it. 320 00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:10,770 That's why the food tastes so good. 321 00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:13,420 Even the broccoli he cooked on there tasted like brisket. 322 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,940 It's gonna ruin his vacation when he hears. 323 00:13:17,140 --> 00:13:19,630 What the hell is wrong with you, man? Whoa... what the hell, Dave? 324 00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:23,320 Okay, we are not telling him, okay? 325 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:26,630 They are probably having the time of their lives right now. 326 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,960 VIRGINIA: Flight 2355 to Madrid. 327 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:33,030 We appreciate your patience in deplaning. 328 00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:34,880 This is on you, dog hater. 329 00:13:37,410 --> 00:13:39,100 I love dogs, lady. 330 00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:40,770 I also love Earth, Wind & Fire. 331 00:13:40,970 --> 00:13:42,950 I just don't want 'em under my seat. 332 00:13:45,220 --> 00:13:47,660 Due to the delay... 333 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,540 ...our flight crew has gone over their allotted hours. 334 00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:54,860 We are currently looking for a new crew. 335 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:59,050 Oh, wait. No! No, no, no, don't leave! 336 00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:01,620 Y-You can work a little longer, right? 337 00:14:01,820 --> 00:14:04,290 I-I mean, come on. Doctors do surgeries for over 19 hours. 338 00:14:04,490 --> 00:14:06,090 Y'all can push a little drink cart. 339 00:14:06,290 --> 00:14:08,830 VIRGINIA: We'd also like to welcome passengers 340 00:14:09,030 --> 00:14:12,930 from the recently-canceled Flight 510 to Madrid. 341 00:14:13,130 --> 00:14:15,800 Due to our combining these flights, we are oversold 342 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,670 and offering $2,000 to any passengers willing to be bumped. 343 00:14:19,870 --> 00:14:22,240 Did you hear that, baby? What? 344 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,940 $2,000. 345 00:14:24,140 --> 00:14:25,940 You're not really thinking of taking that, are you? 346 00:14:26,140 --> 00:14:27,980 I mean, Tina, for that kind of money, 347 00:14:28,180 --> 00:14:31,630 we can get out of this hellhole and go to Pechanga Casino. 348 00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:34,590 I mean, maybe this is the universe 349 00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,720 trying to tell us something. Yes. 350 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,890 It's the universe telling me I'm never getting my honeymoon. 351 00:14:40,090 --> 00:14:42,910 You know, I'm going to go get a glass of wine at Sbarro. 352 00:14:48,450 --> 00:14:50,140 And this is the same as Dad's? 353 00:14:50,340 --> 00:14:52,140 Same model. 354 00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:55,990 This is so clean. Did you buy this from a vegan? 355 00:14:57,330 --> 00:15:00,250 Okay, guys, we're never going to be able to pass this off. 356 00:15:00,450 --> 00:15:01,950 I agree. 357 00:15:02,150 --> 00:15:04,620 So I think we should all band together 358 00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:05,950 and blame Dave. 359 00:15:06,150 --> 00:15:07,750 GEMMA: What? Dave?! 360 00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,550 Mm-hmm. Marty is the one who made the call. 361 00:15:09,750 --> 00:15:10,560 Let's blame him. 362 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,220 Okay. Girl! 363 00:15:12,420 --> 00:15:13,660 Okay, you know what? 364 00:15:13,860 --> 00:15:15,660 How about we pin it on Grover? 365 00:15:15,860 --> 00:15:17,960 There's no way my dad's gonna hit a little white boy. 366 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,900 Yeah. No! 367 00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:22,430 None of you are thinking straight! 368 00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:25,070 If you had watched HGTV, you would know 369 00:15:25,270 --> 00:15:27,270 that this is the moment where all seems lost. 370 00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:28,610 And then 371 00:15:28,810 --> 00:15:31,980 they get the perfect renovation solution. 372 00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:34,580 We're going to antique this bad boy. 373 00:15:34,780 --> 00:15:35,950 Wait. Will that work? 374 00:15:36,150 --> 00:15:37,120 Yes, it'll work. 375 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:38,680 Gemma, go get a hundred burgers. 376 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,650 Marty, get a buttload of hickory chips. Malcolm, 377 00:15:40,850 --> 00:15:42,750 we're going to need a baseball bat. 378 00:15:42,950 --> 00:15:45,690 No one sleeps until this smoker looks like crap 379 00:15:45,890 --> 00:15:48,240 and smells fantastic! 380 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:52,550 Excuse me. Excu-Excuse me. 381 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,070 I knew it. I knew. 382 00:15:55,270 --> 00:15:57,270 $2,000 was just gonna be too tempting. 383 00:15:57,470 --> 00:15:59,200 Hold on, baby. Just... No, no, no. You know what? 384 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,210 I have had enough, okay? 385 00:16:01,410 --> 00:16:02,670 Let's just go home. 386 00:16:02,870 --> 00:16:04,510 This has been a complete disaster. 387 00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:06,880 Tina, it has been. (sighs) 388 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,980 But that's why I upgraded us to first class, 389 00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:14,070 where, I assume, all the dogs are inside purses. 390 00:16:16,070 --> 00:16:17,860 Really, babe? 391 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,860 Are you sure, Calvin? This is expensive. 392 00:16:21,060 --> 00:16:23,830 Yeah, well, the universe spoke to me again, 393 00:16:24,030 --> 00:16:27,080 and it said, "You only get one honeymoon." 394 00:16:28,580 --> 00:16:30,650 (laughs softly) Baby. Mmm. 395 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:35,010 Mmm. Oh, uh, 396 00:16:35,210 --> 00:16:38,910 my man, there's not a purse in the world big enough for you. 397 00:16:39,110 --> 00:16:40,980 Yeah. 398 00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:43,280 (barks) 399 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,970 * * 400 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,490 Aah! 401 00:16:53,690 --> 00:16:56,460 * * 402 00:16:56,660 --> 00:16:58,950 Grease it up, boy! 403 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,900 * * 404 00:17:25,940 --> 00:17:28,010 (glass breaking, car alarm blaring) 405 00:17:34,450 --> 00:17:35,700 * * 406 00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:37,540 Wow. We did a great job. 407 00:17:37,740 --> 00:17:40,440 That thing looks terrible. 408 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,540 Now for the final test. 409 00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:44,180 Grover?! 410 00:17:44,380 --> 00:17:45,680 * * 411 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,060 What does this asparagus taste like? 412 00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:51,730 * * 413 00:17:53,470 --> 00:17:54,320 Ribs? 414 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:56,140 (all cheering) 415 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,530 (romantic guitar music playing) 416 00:18:03,730 --> 00:18:06,330 Mmm. Babe, you would think 417 00:18:06,530 --> 00:18:09,200 that the tiny portions would mean there's not enough food, 418 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,140 but I have never eaten so much in my life. 419 00:18:12,340 --> 00:18:13,610 (laughs) 420 00:18:13,810 --> 00:18:16,640 Ooh. Is it too late in the day for a siesta? 421 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,980 You know, you look beautiful in that dress. 422 00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:20,450 Oh. Mm. 423 00:18:20,650 --> 00:18:22,050 And I love you in that shirt. 424 00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:24,420 And I look forward to seeing it three more times. 425 00:18:24,620 --> 00:18:28,390 (both laughing) 426 00:18:28,590 --> 00:18:30,460 You know, 427 00:18:30,660 --> 00:18:33,020 I've always been worried about... 428 00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:34,830 working so hard. 429 00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:39,960 I... I never took the time to enjoy the fruits of my labor. 430 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,270 But... 431 00:18:42,470 --> 00:18:45,470 traveling the world with my beautiful wife, 432 00:18:45,670 --> 00:18:49,340 drinking good wine and eating cheese I can't pronounce... 433 00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:52,040 (laughs) 434 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,880 This. 435 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,660 This is what I want. 436 00:18:57,130 --> 00:19:00,100 Well, this and playing golf with Ice Cube. 437 00:19:03,070 --> 00:19:05,560 Well, it took 30 years, but... 438 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,990 I finally got my boyfriend back. (laughs) 439 00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:11,180 Mmm. Mwah. 440 00:19:12,450 --> 00:19:14,900 Well, maybe I like being retired after all. 441 00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:17,070 Well, you're going to really love being retired in Fiji 442 00:19:17,270 --> 00:19:18,570 'cause that's where we're going next. 443 00:19:18,770 --> 00:19:21,310 Hmm. 444 00:19:21,510 --> 00:19:23,110 I like Fiji. Yeah? 445 00:19:23,310 --> 00:19:26,180 'Cause we won't need any underwear there. 446 00:19:26,380 --> 00:19:28,900 * * 447 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,460 ALL: Surprise! 448 00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:42,190 Oh, my. (laughs) 449 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:43,730 Well, all right! 450 00:19:43,930 --> 00:19:46,260 (laughs) Hey. 451 00:19:46,460 --> 00:19:47,830 Yeah. We wanted to do something 452 00:19:48,030 --> 00:19:49,730 to say congratulations on selling the shop. 453 00:19:49,930 --> 00:19:52,370 Yeah, congrats, Pop. Now you can still work on your cars. 454 00:19:52,570 --> 00:19:54,790 Yeah, and just not get paid for it. 455 00:19:55,590 --> 00:19:57,540 Y'all did all of this while we were gone? 456 00:19:57,740 --> 00:19:59,680 There was a lot of junk in here. 457 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,910 Oh, girl, we know. (laughs) 458 00:20:02,110 --> 00:20:04,820 (laughing): Yeah. Well, I must say, I am impressed. 459 00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:07,050 Thank you. Thank you, guys. DAVE: Well, 460 00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:10,390 we're glad you like it, and, of course, there's your smoker, 461 00:20:10,590 --> 00:20:12,460 exactly where you thought it would be, 462 00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:16,460 totally unchanged, like nothing happened at all. 463 00:20:16,660 --> 00:20:17,930 Pull-pull it back, Dave. Easy. Easy, Dave. 464 00:20:18,130 --> 00:20:19,230 Pull it back, pull it back. Come-come on back. 465 00:20:19,430 --> 00:20:21,000 MALCOLM: Yeah. 466 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:22,830 Yeah. Well, there's my baby. 467 00:20:23,030 --> 00:20:24,300 I'm sure gonna miss her. 468 00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:25,640 DAVE: What? 469 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,290 What's that now? Huh? 470 00:20:28,090 --> 00:20:30,410 Yeah. I won't be needing that old smoker anymore. 471 00:20:30,610 --> 00:20:32,540 I'm into wood grilling now. 472 00:20:32,740 --> 00:20:35,410 Yeah. that's how they do it in Spain. Yes. 473 00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:38,650 (Calvin laughs) 474 00:20:38,850 --> 00:20:41,650 A la brasa es delicioso. 475 00:20:41,850 --> 00:20:43,490 (Tina laughs) CALVIN: You know what? 476 00:20:43,690 --> 00:20:45,420 I'll just call one of those junk removal companies 477 00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:47,330 to haul it away. 478 00:20:47,530 --> 00:20:51,530 Captioning sponsored by CBS 479 00:20:51,730 --> 00:20:55,330 and TOYOTA. 480 00:20:55,530 --> 00:20:58,920 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 32214

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