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1
00:00:53,668 --> 00:00:56,587
I am so fucked.
2
00:00:56,588 --> 00:01:00,424
I make one stupid bet with a
sociopathic Lithuanian kid
3
00:01:00,425 --> 00:01:04,178
and now my best friend's in
jail, my dad is a fugitive,
4
00:01:04,179 --> 00:01:07,014
they found a dead body
in my mom's trunk,
5
00:01:07,015 --> 00:01:09,850
the love of my life thinks
I'm the Antichrist,
6
00:01:09,851 --> 00:01:13,145
and I have crabs.
7
00:01:13,146 --> 00:01:16,023
But most shockingly...
8
00:01:16,024 --> 00:01:18,226
Mom?
9
00:01:25,158 --> 00:01:29,161
She wouldn't have gone anywhere.
We're fully stocked.
10
00:01:29,162 --> 00:01:32,456
Mom? Mom?
11
00:01:36,044 --> 00:01:40,340
Holy... shit.
12
00:01:44,886 --> 00:01:47,179
Is that a letter to her dog?
13
00:01:47,180 --> 00:01:49,431
911. What's your emergency?
14
00:01:49,432 --> 00:01:51,225
Yes, I'd like to
order an ambulance.
15
00:01:51,226 --> 00:01:53,560
- Location, please?
- 844 Marx Avenue.
16
00:01:53,561 --> 00:01:55,437
Oh, hey, Rick.
17
00:01:55,438 --> 00:01:57,564
Rick? Rick?
18
00:01:57,565 --> 00:02:01,693
I'm selling raffle tickets
to the Policemen's Ball.
19
00:02:01,694 --> 00:02:03,445
Is your mother home?
20
00:02:03,446 --> 00:02:06,031
Yes, but I think she's dead.
21
00:02:06,032 --> 00:02:08,325
- Step down, and...
- Got it.
22
00:02:08,326 --> 00:02:10,536
Alright, everybody, calm down! OK?
23
00:02:10,537 --> 00:02:12,287
This is a crime scene.
24
00:02:12,288 --> 00:02:13,831
Hold up one second.
25
00:02:13,832 --> 00:02:16,208
Let me get a picture
of this real quick.
26
00:02:16,209 --> 00:02:18,252
It's just a potential homicide.
27
00:02:18,253 --> 00:02:21,088
We better hurry in case
she's an organ donor.
28
00:02:21,089 --> 00:02:23,465
Don't make me hurt you.
What is the victim's name?
29
00:02:23,466 --> 00:02:26,927
Lucy Rebecca Stevens.
30
00:02:26,928 --> 00:02:29,012
- Date of birth?
- Uh, March something.
31
00:02:29,013 --> 00:02:33,559
- Old.
- Old. Education?
32
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,143
My mom's deep-throating
a breathing tube
33
00:02:35,144 --> 00:02:37,271
and you wanna know how
far in college she got?
34
00:02:37,272 --> 00:02:40,566
Listen, we have a potential
homicide investigation here.
35
00:02:40,567 --> 00:02:44,027
A homicide? How do you explain
the myriad of suicide notes?
36
00:02:44,028 --> 00:02:46,446
- You can't have those.
- That one's addressed to me.
37
00:02:46,447 --> 00:02:48,407
- They're evidence.
- That one's addressed to me.
38
00:02:48,408 --> 00:02:51,407
Only if you let me
look at it first.
39
00:02:54,038 --> 00:02:55,990
Now keep back.
40
00:02:58,376 --> 00:03:00,085
What does 'opprobrious' mean?
41
00:03:00,086 --> 00:03:03,005
It means abusive or malevolent.
42
00:03:03,006 --> 00:03:04,965
Well, you're opprobrious,
43
00:03:04,966 --> 00:03:07,593
and you've been fucking
her best friend.
44
00:03:07,594 --> 00:03:11,013
How did she find out?
If Mom knows, who else?
45
00:03:11,014 --> 00:03:13,348
Billy would be pissed that
I was ploughing his mom,
46
00:03:13,349 --> 00:03:15,434
not to mention how his
dad, her husband,
47
00:03:15,435 --> 00:03:17,895
the ex-college football
player turned Neo-Nazi,
48
00:03:17,896 --> 00:03:19,438
sporting goods salesman
49
00:03:19,439 --> 00:03:21,648
who does a very good business
in shotguns might feel.
50
00:03:21,649 --> 00:03:25,944
More importantly, what if
Nina Pennington finds out?
51
00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:37,706
Enough about me, I wanna
see what this one says.
52
00:03:37,707 --> 00:03:40,334
- Now we'll hang on to these.
- Yeah, fine, fine.
53
00:03:40,335 --> 00:03:42,961
Until after our
investigation is complete.
54
00:03:42,962 --> 00:03:44,789
Alright.
55
00:03:46,007 --> 00:03:50,344
Oh, uh, about those raffle tickets?
56
00:03:58,937 --> 00:04:01,939
It was Mrs Bender. The
nut job told her.
57
00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:04,274
Of course, she left
out how it happened.
58
00:04:04,275 --> 00:04:07,778
I had no choice. It's kind of...
59
00:04:07,779 --> 00:04:10,280
It's kind of embarrassing,
60
00:04:10,281 --> 00:04:14,326
but here's how the
whole thing went down.
61
00:04:16,245 --> 00:04:17,871
I wager $1,000.
62
00:04:17,872 --> 00:04:20,624
Two weeks ago, I wasn't fucked.
63
00:04:20,625 --> 00:04:23,669
- You know Josh Groban?
- Not even close.
64
00:04:23,670 --> 00:04:28,298
Truth was, I had never had sex
with anyone other than myself,
65
00:04:28,299 --> 00:04:31,593
but this was the year I
was gonna change that.
66
00:04:31,594 --> 00:04:36,765
I had fallen in love and her
name was Nina Pennington.
67
00:04:36,766 --> 00:04:39,726
You forgot to put
the seat down, fag.
68
00:04:39,727 --> 00:04:42,897
It wasn't me. It was... it was Mom.
69
00:04:48,069 --> 00:04:51,738
Oh, for the love of
little baby Jesus,
70
00:04:51,739 --> 00:04:53,615
would you close those
goddamn drapes?
71
00:04:53,616 --> 00:04:55,826
Some people's moms look
at the glass half full.
72
00:04:55,827 --> 00:04:57,953
Other moms look at it half empty.
73
00:04:57,954 --> 00:05:00,622
Mine looks at it and asks
if you're gonna finish it.
74
00:05:00,623 --> 00:05:04,584
Mom, did you leave
the toilet seat up?
75
00:05:04,585 --> 00:05:07,254
Sorry?
76
00:05:08,381 --> 00:05:09,923
Where's your father?
77
00:05:09,924 --> 00:05:12,092
Uh... he moved out again.
78
00:05:12,093 --> 00:05:14,469
Right. Sonofabitch.
79
00:05:14,470 --> 00:05:18,473
You watch, I'm gonna
divorce him this time.
80
00:05:18,474 --> 00:05:22,102
Where were you last
night until 3am, madam?
81
00:05:22,103 --> 00:05:24,021
Uh, feeding the homeless.
82
00:05:24,022 --> 00:05:25,564
- Aww.
- Why do you always believe her?
83
00:05:25,565 --> 00:05:27,441
When I said I was giving blood,
84
00:05:27,442 --> 00:05:29,985
you told me I was full of
shit and grounded me.
85
00:05:29,986 --> 00:05:32,988
You didn't have any track marks
and watch your fucking mouth.
86
00:05:32,989 --> 00:05:34,531
And I got straight A's in school.
87
00:05:34,532 --> 00:05:37,451
And she got straight A's.
Have you heard from Agent...?
88
00:05:37,452 --> 00:05:40,620
Stanford, and no, I haven't
heard anything yet,
89
00:05:40,621 --> 00:05:43,415
but it should be any day now.
90
00:05:43,416 --> 00:05:45,500
You're a stripper, Kristen.
91
00:05:45,501 --> 00:05:48,503
With all the tips you make, why
do you even need a degree?
92
00:05:48,504 --> 00:05:50,464
Because I'm trying
to better myself.
93
00:05:50,465 --> 00:05:52,507
Why can't you be more
like your sister?
94
00:05:52,508 --> 00:05:54,468
Why would I want to be a skanky ho?
95
00:05:54,469 --> 00:05:56,553
- Mom, kill him.
- Can I?
96
00:05:56,554 --> 00:05:59,639
OK, so the whole thing
started Saturday...
97
00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:02,434
Joseph Stevens, my sperm donor.
98
00:06:02,435 --> 00:06:04,061
He stayed married to my mom
99
00:06:04,062 --> 00:06:06,021
because he couldn't
afford a divorce.
100
00:06:06,022 --> 00:06:08,148
If that isn't love,
I don't know what is.
101
00:06:08,149 --> 00:06:10,984
- What are you up to, mister?
- Nothing.
102
00:06:10,985 --> 00:06:13,028
- You are grounded.
- No.
103
00:06:13,029 --> 00:06:16,406
Unless you do me one little favour.
104
00:06:16,407 --> 00:06:19,034
And here I thought you came for
some quality father-son time.
105
00:06:19,035 --> 00:06:21,286
Remember that video camera
I borrowed last week?
106
00:06:21,287 --> 00:06:23,038
Oh, yeah, video camera,
107
00:06:23,039 --> 00:06:26,500
to videotape that sales
pitch with your secretary.
108
00:06:26,501 --> 00:06:29,211
Sales pitch. Oh, yeah,
yeah, sales pitch.
109
00:06:29,212 --> 00:06:31,296
Anyhow, I think I
left a tape in it.
110
00:06:31,297 --> 00:06:34,341
- Your mother didn't, uh...?
- Mom operate video equipment?
111
00:06:34,342 --> 00:06:36,426
She has a hard enough
time with the doorknob.
112
00:06:36,427 --> 00:06:38,929
- How is your mother?
- Do you honestly care, Joseph?
113
00:06:38,930 --> 00:06:40,931
- Not really, no.
- Steven.
114
00:06:40,932 --> 00:06:44,059
- Joseph wants his tape back.
- Twat.
115
00:06:44,060 --> 00:06:45,977
Thank you.
116
00:06:45,978 --> 00:06:48,647
And, the next time you borrow
the camera for a sales pitch,
117
00:06:48,648 --> 00:06:52,025
try not to leave any...
residue on the tripod.
118
00:06:52,026 --> 00:06:54,604
You are so grounded, mister.
119
00:06:56,072 --> 00:06:58,156
Grounded.
120
00:06:58,157 --> 00:07:02,285
OK, so the whole thing started
on Saturday, April 14.
121
00:07:02,286 --> 00:07:05,705
Unfortunately, this is
pretty much a true story.
122
00:07:05,706 --> 00:07:08,458
The names have not been changed
to protect the innocent,
123
00:07:08,459 --> 00:07:12,337
because, well, everyone in this
story is guilty of something.
124
00:07:12,338 --> 00:07:14,214
Speaking of guilty,
125
00:07:14,215 --> 00:07:16,133
I was running errands
for Jimmy Leach.
126
00:07:16,134 --> 00:07:19,970
He manages the club where
my sister, Kristen, strips.
127
00:07:19,971 --> 00:07:21,555
Yo, pussy!
128
00:07:21,556 --> 00:07:23,265
He also manages to be a total tool.
129
00:07:23,266 --> 00:07:25,475
I mean, look at that 'stache.
130
00:07:25,476 --> 00:07:27,936
Gotta be a registered sex offender.
131
00:07:31,774 --> 00:07:35,861
I need you to go find
Cherysh. She's MIA again.
132
00:07:35,862 --> 00:07:37,821
He didn't pay shit
but I could think
133
00:07:37,822 --> 00:07:39,489
of worse ways to spend the day.
134
00:07:39,490 --> 00:07:40,866
Are you still fucking here?
135
00:07:40,867 --> 00:07:43,326
'Bye, Tanya.
136
00:07:43,327 --> 00:07:47,747
Fuck off! Mmm. What day is it?
137
00:07:47,748 --> 00:07:50,542
It's Saturday.
138
00:07:50,543 --> 00:07:56,173
OK, uh... I will
give you a blow job
139
00:07:56,174 --> 00:07:59,009
if you tell him I had to
get my stomach pumped.
140
00:07:59,010 --> 00:08:01,803
Huh?
141
00:08:01,804 --> 00:08:03,805
Hm.
142
00:08:03,806 --> 00:08:07,017
I'm more a grower than a shower.
143
00:08:07,018 --> 00:08:09,971
Well, maybe this will
put you more at ease.
144
00:08:11,397 --> 00:08:14,816
OK, I know this is kind
of bad, but... again.
145
00:08:14,817 --> 00:08:19,443
Again.
146
00:08:26,412 --> 00:08:28,371
Less work for me.
147
00:08:28,372 --> 00:08:32,542
? Then I could make
it safe and clean
148
00:08:32,543 --> 00:08:36,129
? Doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo
Oh... ?
149
00:08:36,130 --> 00:08:38,757
Billy, open up,
it's Rick. Hey, Billy!
150
00:08:38,758 --> 00:08:40,759
Ricky.
151
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,094
Don't let the attractive
exterior fool you.
152
00:08:43,095 --> 00:08:44,679
She's dangerous.
153
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,681
Now, I don't like to point fingers,
154
00:08:46,682 --> 00:08:48,850
but everything was
pretty much her fault.
155
00:08:48,851 --> 00:08:51,436
Well, except for the dead people.
156
00:08:51,437 --> 00:08:53,230
- Hi.
- Hi, Mrs Bender.
157
00:08:53,231 --> 00:08:56,310
- How are you?
- Good.
158
00:08:58,444 --> 00:09:00,195
Is Billy home?
159
00:09:00,196 --> 00:09:02,615
Yeah, he's probably
upstairs, you know...
160
00:09:03,574 --> 00:09:07,119
- OK.
- Hey, stay on the runner!
161
00:09:11,999 --> 00:09:13,879
Hey, Billy, guess what.
162
00:09:15,461 --> 00:09:18,838
Billy Bender... after he
flunked homeschool twice,
163
00:09:18,839 --> 00:09:21,258
the state made his parents
send him to a real school.
164
00:09:21,259 --> 00:09:23,343
Didn't help.
165
00:09:23,344 --> 00:09:27,889
Oh, Rick, I thought
you were my mom.
166
00:09:27,890 --> 00:09:29,763
Dude, it's called a lock.
167
00:09:40,152 --> 00:09:42,229
Oh, my god.
168
00:09:44,615 --> 00:09:46,488
Ah.
169
00:09:48,411 --> 00:09:51,034
Could you pass me a tissue?
170
00:09:56,252 --> 00:09:58,170
Thanks.
171
00:10:00,798 --> 00:10:03,376
No. No.
172
00:10:05,970 --> 00:10:07,679
- Dude, guess what.
- What?
173
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:11,224
- I kind of got a blow job today.
- Shut up! From who?
174
00:10:11,225 --> 00:10:13,351
- A girl down at the club.
- A stripper?
175
00:10:13,352 --> 00:10:15,186
You better hope she
doesn't have AIDS.
176
00:10:15,187 --> 00:10:17,314
You really know how
to ruin a moment.
177
00:10:17,315 --> 00:10:19,983
I'm just saying. I saw
this documentary...
178
00:10:19,984 --> 00:10:21,860
Or maybe it was a movie?
179
00:10:21,861 --> 00:10:23,945
Anyway, it was called 'Rent',
180
00:10:23,946 --> 00:10:26,698
and everyone in it had
AIDS, and it sucked, Rick.
181
00:10:26,699 --> 00:10:30,910
- The movie or the disease?
- The movie.
182
00:10:30,911 --> 00:10:32,746
Mom!
183
00:10:32,747 --> 00:10:34,289
You boys are still here.
184
00:10:34,290 --> 00:10:36,833
Billy, I was wondering if you
could go down to the store
185
00:10:36,834 --> 00:10:38,543
and buy Momma some cigarettes.
186
00:10:38,544 --> 00:10:40,962
- Now?
- No, next Thursday.
187
00:10:40,963 --> 00:10:42,714
Now. Go.
188
00:10:42,715 --> 00:10:44,966
There's money in my purse, OK?
189
00:10:44,967 --> 00:10:48,053
Oh, Ricky, I was wondering if
you could stay and help me
190
00:10:48,054 --> 00:10:50,052
with something in the thing.
191
00:10:54,894 --> 00:10:58,730
He really has come in
handy since he turned 18.
192
00:10:58,731 --> 00:11:02,108
Can't wait until he turns 21.
193
00:11:02,109 --> 00:11:06,363
So... you had an eventful day.
194
00:11:06,364 --> 00:11:09,532
No more than usual, no.
195
00:11:09,533 --> 00:11:11,576
Billy told me you got a blow job.
196
00:11:11,577 --> 00:11:13,870
How? I literally just told him.
197
00:11:13,871 --> 00:11:17,457
Well, the point is that I know.
198
00:11:17,458 --> 00:11:19,584
I don't know what
you're talking about.
199
00:11:19,585 --> 00:11:22,670
Like, I said, "Kinda
got the blow job."
200
00:11:22,671 --> 00:11:25,757
Rick, your mom, my best friend,
201
00:11:25,758 --> 00:11:28,927
is going to find out if you
keep gallivanting around
202
00:11:28,928 --> 00:11:32,305
with these... these hookers.
203
00:11:32,306 --> 00:11:35,850
We're gonna have to come up
with some way to fix this.
204
00:11:35,851 --> 00:11:37,894
Could we just keep it a secret?
205
00:11:37,895 --> 00:11:40,855
Yeah, that's a good idea.
206
00:11:40,856 --> 00:11:42,565
Good.
207
00:11:42,566 --> 00:11:44,692
OK. Was she good at it, at least?
208
00:11:44,693 --> 00:11:48,863
Uh... I think so.
209
00:11:48,864 --> 00:11:51,699
It's just so good that you
came out of your comfort zone.
210
00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:53,993
- It's, uh...
- Yeah.
211
00:11:53,994 --> 00:11:58,665
It's very important to...
try new things.
212
00:11:58,666 --> 00:12:00,625
OK.
213
00:12:00,626 --> 00:12:03,586
And I just think that if you do,
214
00:12:03,587 --> 00:12:09,465
you need to experience them
in a, uh, safe environment.
215
00:12:12,388 --> 00:12:14,764
Whoa, Mrs Bender. Are you
trying to seduce me?
216
00:12:14,765 --> 00:12:16,891
No. My God, no, no, no, no.
217
00:12:16,892 --> 00:12:18,977
OK, I just thought that you were...
218
00:12:18,978 --> 00:12:22,730
No, I... I wanna be your teacher.
219
00:12:22,731 --> 00:12:29,487
Yeah, I'm going to help you
gain much needed experience.
220
00:12:29,488 --> 00:12:31,698
Do you have a girlfriend?
221
00:12:31,699 --> 00:12:35,493
Yes. No. Girlfriend?
222
00:12:35,494 --> 00:12:41,292
Well, one day you will, and you
owe it to her to be ready.
223
00:12:42,918 --> 00:12:45,879
- Sure.
- OK.
224
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,923
Come here.
225
00:12:58,684 --> 00:13:01,102
Mmm. Does that feel good?
226
00:13:01,103 --> 00:13:05,815
It feels good. It
feels really good.
227
00:13:05,816 --> 00:13:08,110
You just raise your hand
if you have any questions.
228
00:13:10,446 --> 00:13:15,283
My God. It's also really nice
to pay attention to the girls.
229
00:13:15,284 --> 00:13:17,076
- To the what?
- The girls.
230
00:13:17,077 --> 00:13:20,371
Yeah. Gentle.
231
00:13:20,372 --> 00:13:23,750
Mmm... that's nice.
232
00:13:23,751 --> 00:13:26,044
Mmm. I like that.
233
00:13:26,045 --> 00:13:28,087
- Uh, Mrs Bender?
- Mm-hm?
234
00:13:28,088 --> 00:13:30,048
I can't breathe.
235
00:13:30,049 --> 00:13:32,593
Oh, it's OK, I'll
breathe for both of us.
236
00:13:36,305 --> 00:13:39,474
Sometimes you look at
your life and say,
237
00:13:39,475 --> 00:13:41,559
"I'm doing the best I can."
238
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:44,521
Other times, you have to
look at your life and say,
239
00:13:44,522 --> 00:13:46,981
"I just fucked my
best friend's mom."
240
00:13:46,982 --> 00:13:50,527
But as I lay here the morning
after losing my virginity,
241
00:13:50,528 --> 00:13:54,239
all I could think about was what
everyone would say if they knew.
242
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,784
You devil's spawn.
243
00:13:58,827 --> 00:14:00,912
Nice one, son.
I want to see photos.
244
00:14:00,913 --> 00:14:02,956
Does her pussy taste
like Seagram's?
245
00:14:02,957 --> 00:14:04,499
No, I mean, it makes sense.
246
00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:06,626
I mean, you guys hang
out, like, all the ti...
247
00:14:06,627 --> 00:14:08,920
Oh, my God, his mom?
248
00:14:08,921 --> 00:14:11,499
Jesus fucking Christ!
249
00:14:19,056 --> 00:14:22,308
You're a mother-fucker,
Rick Stevens.
250
00:14:22,309 --> 00:14:24,932
I will never be your girlfriend.
251
00:14:25,896 --> 00:14:28,439
Nina can't find out.
252
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:30,692
I'm gonna ask Nina Pennington out.
253
00:14:30,693 --> 00:14:34,112
Right... you've had a boner for
her since the sixth grade.
254
00:14:34,113 --> 00:14:35,863
She still doesn't
even know you exist.
255
00:14:35,864 --> 00:14:37,740
Now's a good time to change that.
256
00:14:37,741 --> 00:14:40,743
Doesn't change the fact she's
still dating Kevin Carpenter.
257
00:14:40,744 --> 00:14:42,870
- Well, hello, gentlemen.
- Holy shit!
258
00:14:42,871 --> 00:14:44,872
OK, I should probably
stop for a second
259
00:14:44,873 --> 00:14:47,333
and give you the down-low
on Junior Dahmer here.
260
00:14:47,334 --> 00:14:49,210
AW, fuck it.
261
00:14:49,211 --> 00:14:51,789
- Hey, Karlis.
- So Nina Pennington, huh?
262
00:14:52,798 --> 00:14:55,550
She is pretty, isn't she?
263
00:14:55,551 --> 00:14:59,095
Don't you think you're setting
your sights a bit high there?
264
00:14:59,096 --> 00:15:03,266
No. I mean, why not? I'm not
missing a toe or anything.
265
00:15:03,267 --> 00:15:07,186
I like your bravado. It's cute.
266
00:15:07,187 --> 00:15:10,648
Tell you what, what say I make
things a bit more interesting.
267
00:15:10,649 --> 00:15:12,734
- Huh! Yeah, sure.
- Good.
268
00:15:12,735 --> 00:15:15,153
I wager $1,000 that
you will not be able
269
00:15:15,154 --> 00:15:17,488
to sign, seal and deliver
Nina Pennington.
270
00:15:17,489 --> 00:15:19,198
Nobody's delivering
Nina Pennington.
271
00:15:19,199 --> 00:15:20,742
- Sure I can.
- Fine.
272
00:15:20,743 --> 00:15:22,619
- Fine.
- By Arbor Day.
273
00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:25,413
Thanks for that unsolicited
stipulation, Billy.
274
00:15:25,414 --> 00:15:29,000
So, two weeks. Is that a problem?
275
00:15:29,001 --> 00:15:30,585
Nope.
276
00:15:30,586 --> 00:15:33,756
Shake it, Rick. It's
creeping me out.
277
00:15:44,099 --> 00:15:45,642
Oh, shit.
278
00:15:45,643 --> 00:15:47,845
You made a bet with
a mobster's son.
279
00:15:53,317 --> 00:15:55,568
Uh, a freshman just
got hit by a bus.
280
00:15:55,569 --> 00:15:58,272
- Oh, whoa.
- Again? Cool.
281
00:16:00,407 --> 00:16:03,117
Goddamn it. 1,000 bucks.
I'm a dead man.
282
00:16:13,003 --> 00:16:15,588
- What the fuck?
- Relax.
283
00:16:15,589 --> 00:16:18,925
- You're having a holy vision.
- Who are you?
284
00:16:18,926 --> 00:16:24,098
Saint Lola's the name. I'm the
patron saint of teenagers.
285
00:16:25,265 --> 00:16:26,891
Don't bother looking me up
286
00:16:26,892 --> 00:16:29,143
in the book of saints...
I'm unlisted.
287
00:16:29,144 --> 00:16:32,438
A saint? What are you doing
in the boys' bathroom?
288
00:16:32,439 --> 00:16:34,232
Old habits die hard.
289
00:16:34,233 --> 00:16:36,359
You kind of look like my mother,
290
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,195
except with a camel toe.
291
00:16:39,196 --> 00:16:42,073
I get that a lot.
292
00:16:42,074 --> 00:16:44,033
Wait a minute, am I being punked?
293
00:16:44,034 --> 00:16:46,411
You're being poped.
I'm here to help.
294
00:16:46,412 --> 00:16:49,205
You're gonna help me score
with Nina Pennington?
295
00:16:49,206 --> 00:16:51,207
It's not quite that easy.
296
00:16:51,208 --> 00:16:52,875
The things we wish for
297
00:16:52,876 --> 00:16:54,919
are rarely the things
we need, Rick.
298
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,505
So you're not gonna grant my wish.
299
00:16:57,506 --> 00:17:00,091
I'm not a fucking genie.
I'm a saint.
300
00:17:00,092 --> 00:17:02,343
I'm here to make the
path a little clearer,
301
00:17:02,344 --> 00:17:04,717
so you can make the right choices.
302
00:17:07,599 --> 00:17:09,142
What the fuck?
303
00:17:09,143 --> 00:17:11,061
Look for the signs.
304
00:17:16,442 --> 00:17:18,359
Attention, students...
305
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:20,445
this week's Drama Club
production of 'Pippin'
306
00:17:20,446 --> 00:17:22,398
has been cancelled.
307
00:17:24,324 --> 00:17:26,617
Kevin Carpenter,
308
00:17:26,618 --> 00:17:29,787
the biggest fucking
asshole in the world,
309
00:17:29,788 --> 00:17:32,123
and Nina Pennington's
current boyfriend.
310
00:17:32,124 --> 00:17:33,750
We had every reason to hate him
311
00:17:33,751 --> 00:17:35,585
after what happened last spring.
312
00:17:35,586 --> 00:17:37,462
Billy passed out at
Greg Drubin's party
313
00:17:37,463 --> 00:17:39,005
and woke up the next morning
314
00:17:39,006 --> 00:17:41,424
with a condom up his ass
and fear in his eye.
315
00:17:41,425 --> 00:17:43,217
Kevin waited a week to tell him
316
00:17:43,218 --> 00:17:46,053
that it was a broom handle
that took his butt cherry.
317
00:17:46,054 --> 00:17:49,140
We are through.
318
00:17:49,141 --> 00:17:51,893
Bitch!
319
00:17:51,894 --> 00:17:54,353
A sign. Saint Lola was right.
320
00:17:54,354 --> 00:17:57,565
- Wait. Saint who?
- It's a sign from God.
321
00:17:57,566 --> 00:17:59,692
God wants me to be
with Nina Pennington,
322
00:17:59,693 --> 00:18:01,778
in every possible position.
323
00:18:01,779 --> 00:18:04,322
I've graded your exams
324
00:18:04,323 --> 00:18:08,159
and will be returning them
to you at the end of class.
325
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,453
However, I doubt if
you'll want them.
326
00:18:10,454 --> 00:18:13,247
Miss Pennington got the only A.
327
00:18:13,248 --> 00:18:16,542
- Yes, was it an A-plus?
- No.
328
00:18:16,543 --> 00:18:20,213
And now who amongst us can
conjugate the verb 'vivo'?
329
00:18:20,214 --> 00:18:21,881
What's a verb?
330
00:18:21,882 --> 00:18:25,593
- Mr Stevens.
- Ah...
331
00:18:25,594 --> 00:18:28,763
Ah, OK, the conjugation of vivo.
332
00:18:28,764 --> 00:18:36,854
Uh, I believe that would
be 'vi', 'vive', V-V-V...
333
00:18:36,855 --> 00:18:39,065
Well, that was viv-awful.
334
00:18:39,066 --> 00:18:42,151
The correct conjugation
of the verb 'vivo' is...
335
00:18:42,152 --> 00:18:43,694
Strike one.
336
00:18:43,695 --> 00:18:46,864
..vivo, vivere, vixi...
337
00:18:46,865 --> 00:18:49,867
Victum...
338
00:18:53,664 --> 00:18:56,541
Principal Poole cancelled
classes that afternoon
339
00:18:56,542 --> 00:18:59,585
so we could each mourn
Mr Apgar in our own way.
340
00:19:10,639 --> 00:19:13,057
- Perfect timing.
- Huh?
341
00:19:13,058 --> 00:19:15,268
Attention, all students.
342
00:19:15,269 --> 00:19:17,395
All girls basketball players...
343
00:19:17,396 --> 00:19:20,773
- Hi.
- Hi.
344
00:19:20,774 --> 00:19:22,608
Hi, I'm Rick Stevens from...
345
00:19:22,609 --> 00:19:25,152
The slow kid from
Latin class, I know.
346
00:19:25,153 --> 00:19:29,532
Uh, yeah. Congratulations on the A.
347
00:19:29,533 --> 00:19:32,577
Thank you. Hopefully I'll
do better next time.
348
00:19:34,204 --> 00:19:37,039
I was just wondering
if you needed a ride
349
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,333
to Mr Apgar's funeral.
350
00:19:39,334 --> 00:19:41,627
- You're going?
- He was like a father to me.
351
00:19:41,628 --> 00:19:43,796
I'm deep in grief
and shit right now.
352
00:19:43,797 --> 00:19:46,549
Who said that you could talk
to my girlfriend, douche bag?
353
00:19:46,550 --> 00:19:48,634
I'm not your girlfriend, Kevin.
354
00:19:48,635 --> 00:19:50,177
We always get back together.
355
00:19:50,178 --> 00:19:52,263
- You know that.
- Not this time.
356
00:19:52,264 --> 00:19:55,892
Rick was just asking if
I would accompany him
357
00:19:55,893 --> 00:19:59,643
to Mr Apgar's funeral,
and I said yes.
358
00:20:01,398 --> 00:20:06,652
Really? Well, a funeral is a
perfect place for you to be.
359
00:20:06,653 --> 00:20:09,030
'Cause you're a dead man.
360
00:20:09,031 --> 00:20:11,654
- Kevin...
- Fuck!
361
00:20:13,702 --> 00:20:16,530
So is that a yes?
362
00:20:19,124 --> 00:20:21,876
What? What?
363
00:20:21,877 --> 00:20:24,921
What? Nothing. Nothing.
364
00:20:24,922 --> 00:20:27,375
OK. 'Bye.
365
00:20:30,552 --> 00:20:32,637
I'm in.
366
00:20:32,638 --> 00:20:34,556
You're dead.
367
00:20:40,395 --> 00:20:45,524
I wasn't dead, not yet, but our
first date was at a funeral.
368
00:20:45,525 --> 00:20:49,571
In retrospect, that might not
have been one of my best ideas.
369
00:20:50,781 --> 00:20:52,949
That was a lovely service.
370
00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:57,155
Is it just me or did he
look more alive dead?
371
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,375
? From a higher window... ?
372
00:21:02,376 --> 00:21:04,460
- Ew.
- I love this song.
373
00:21:04,461 --> 00:21:05,920
Me too.
374
00:21:05,921 --> 00:21:07,880
My parents don't like me listening
375
00:21:07,881 --> 00:21:10,508
to a lot of pop stations,
due to all the satanic lyrics.
376
00:21:10,509 --> 00:21:14,136
But Mindy has a CD. When I go
to her house, I listen to it.
377
00:21:14,137 --> 00:21:15,888
I think he's so dreamy.
378
00:21:15,889 --> 00:21:17,431
And before I could stop myself...
379
00:21:17,432 --> 00:21:19,350
When he's in town,
I go to his concert
380
00:21:19,351 --> 00:21:20,935
and hang with him backstage.
381
00:21:22,479 --> 00:21:24,522
Wait, you know Josh Groban?
382
00:21:25,649 --> 00:21:27,358
Yeah, we're pretty tight.
383
00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:29,687
Then you must be going to
his show tomorrow night.
384
00:21:30,570 --> 00:21:32,905
Yes, of course. Ha! Yeah.
385
00:21:32,906 --> 00:21:34,824
I'd love to take you,
386
00:21:34,825 --> 00:21:37,284
but I know your parents
wouldn't let you go, so...
387
00:21:37,285 --> 00:21:39,620
Actually, my parents went to
Omaha for the world premiere
388
00:21:39,621 --> 00:21:41,706
of 'Christ on Ice',
starring Johnny Weir,
389
00:21:41,707 --> 00:21:45,001
and they're gone till Monday,
so they'd never know.
390
00:21:45,002 --> 00:21:47,253
Great. Great.
391
00:21:47,254 --> 00:21:49,630
- Strike two.
- This is so sensational.
392
00:21:49,631 --> 00:21:51,340
Uh-huh.
393
00:21:51,341 --> 00:21:53,300
I mean, it would really help me
394
00:21:53,301 --> 00:21:55,052
take my mind off things, you know?
395
00:21:57,431 --> 00:22:00,725
- Nina, are you alright?
- Your mom's gonna kill you.
396
00:22:00,726 --> 00:22:02,727
You better get their
insurance information.
397
00:22:02,728 --> 00:22:05,602
Oh, Rick. I'm stuck.
398
00:22:06,648 --> 00:22:09,525
What the fuck, dude?
399
00:22:09,526 --> 00:22:12,479
Hey! Seriously?
400
00:22:13,363 --> 00:22:15,614
? I said bitch I'mma fuck you up
401
00:22:15,615 --> 00:22:17,742
? Get the fuck out my face
402
00:22:17,743 --> 00:22:19,243
? I'mma show you what the deal is
403
00:22:19,244 --> 00:22:21,037
? Bitch, mother-fucker... ?
404
00:22:21,038 --> 00:22:24,248
This totally reminds me of a
German porno I downloaded.
405
00:22:24,249 --> 00:22:25,875
Father Krumins?
406
00:22:25,876 --> 00:22:29,580
Richard. Oh, I am so sorry
about this slight mishap.
407
00:22:30,797 --> 00:22:32,548
Shouldn't we call the police?
408
00:22:32,549 --> 00:22:34,884
Miss Pennington, please
thank your mother again
409
00:22:34,885 --> 00:22:37,553
for hosting such a splendid
bingo night last week.
410
00:22:37,554 --> 00:22:41,304
I mean, her devilled eggs
were absolutely sinful.
411
00:22:42,517 --> 00:22:44,643
Shouldn't we call the police?
412
00:22:44,644 --> 00:22:47,521
I don't think that's necessary.
413
00:22:47,522 --> 00:22:50,066
I mean, if you don't mind,
I'd rather not report it.
414
00:22:50,067 --> 00:22:52,151
I'd hate for both our
premiums to go up.
415
00:22:52,152 --> 00:22:54,570
Plus, these sisters have
taken a vow of silence,
416
00:22:54,571 --> 00:22:57,198
so the fewer the questions
to answer the better.
417
00:22:57,199 --> 00:22:59,617
Don't worry, the archdiocese
will take care of everything.
418
00:22:59,618 --> 00:23:03,079
Peace out. Sisters? Better hurry.
419
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:06,457
Should we call the police? Pfft.
420
00:23:06,458 --> 00:23:08,709
We pay you good money
to run this place.
421
00:23:08,710 --> 00:23:10,628
That is the best you can do?
422
00:23:10,629 --> 00:23:13,255
They look like they have
full-blown hepatitis.
423
00:23:13,256 --> 00:23:15,341
It's the morning shift.
424
00:23:15,342 --> 00:23:18,594
I mean, I'm working on putting
a breakfast buffet in here
425
00:23:18,595 --> 00:23:21,514
that will blow your
fucking mind, Vitolda.
426
00:23:21,515 --> 00:23:24,266
I'm talking about eggs and
bacon, whipped cream,
427
00:23:24,267 --> 00:23:29,689
sausage and a lap
dance, all in, $12.99.
428
00:23:32,776 --> 00:23:34,527
You girls suck!
429
00:23:34,528 --> 00:23:36,487
How many times have I told you,
430
00:23:36,488 --> 00:23:40,282
you won't draw a crowd if
you don't draw a bath.
431
00:23:40,283 --> 00:23:43,786
You make me sick. Get in
the shower. You, you're fired!
432
00:23:43,787 --> 00:23:47,123
- I don't work here.
- Wanna go out for some Korean barbecue?
433
00:23:47,124 --> 00:23:49,250
Ugh, oh, God.
434
00:23:49,251 --> 00:23:52,503
Cops have been on our ass,
so business has been down.
435
00:23:52,504 --> 00:23:55,840
That means receipts here
better go up, Jimbo,
436
00:23:55,841 --> 00:23:57,925
or you're gonna be out of a job.
437
00:23:57,926 --> 00:24:02,632
And probably a leg.
438
00:24:05,058 --> 00:24:08,769
Jimmy? Hey, Jimmy. Jimmy,
I need to ask you a favour.
439
00:24:08,770 --> 00:24:11,772
- Jimmy.
- Fuck off, will you?
440
00:24:11,773 --> 00:24:14,024
I need to talk to your
friend at the Paramount.
441
00:24:14,025 --> 00:24:16,068
- For what?
- I need backstage passes.
442
00:24:16,069 --> 00:24:19,947
For Josh Groban's concert tomorrow.
443
00:24:19,948 --> 00:24:23,492
Well, I really need Britney
Spears to lick my balls.
444
00:24:23,493 --> 00:24:25,536
No, wait, that wasn't it.
445
00:24:25,537 --> 00:24:28,038
Well, I need J.Lo to stick
her finger up my ass.
446
00:24:28,039 --> 00:24:30,124
No, that was my dad.
447
00:24:30,125 --> 00:24:33,210
You know what I need? I need
my poop chute bleached.
448
00:24:33,211 --> 00:24:36,255
- That's it.
- What? Look, I'll do anything.
449
00:24:37,299 --> 00:24:39,466
Anything?
450
00:24:39,467 --> 00:24:43,137
Seems Jimmy had a date too,
and he needed some ecstasy.
451
00:24:43,138 --> 00:24:47,725
The dealer was running a
buy-20, get-5-free sale,
452
00:24:47,726 --> 00:24:50,019
so I pocketed the extra pills.
453
00:24:50,020 --> 00:24:52,146
I don't want you getting
the wrong idea about me,
454
00:24:52,147 --> 00:24:54,273
but nowhere in the
Bible does it say,
455
00:24:54,274 --> 00:24:55,900
"Thou shalt not take ecstasy."
456
00:24:55,901 --> 00:24:57,651
That's true.
457
00:24:57,652 --> 00:24:59,653
With Lucy's car being
fixed by the archdiocese,
458
00:24:59,654 --> 00:25:01,780
I needed wheels to get
to Josh Graham's show.
459
00:25:01,781 --> 00:25:04,484
I can't believe I just said that.
460
00:25:05,994 --> 00:25:10,164
Mmm. Mmm.
461
00:25:10,165 --> 00:25:13,167
Mrs Bender, I'm gonna
need to ask you a favour.
462
00:25:13,168 --> 00:25:15,252
Anything. Anything at all.
463
00:25:15,253 --> 00:25:17,254
I'm gonna need to borrow your car.
464
00:25:17,255 --> 00:25:19,215
My car? Where are we going?
465
00:25:19,216 --> 00:25:21,508
I have to follow my
dad to catch him
466
00:25:21,509 --> 00:25:23,594
with his mistress for
my mom's lawyer.
467
00:25:23,595 --> 00:25:26,555
Only I can't have my mom find out,
468
00:25:26,556 --> 00:25:28,682
because she's liable to
do something violent.
469
00:25:28,683 --> 00:25:30,768
- You know how she is.
- Oh, yeah.
470
00:25:30,769 --> 00:25:33,854
Sure, that's very sweet of you.
471
00:25:33,855 --> 00:25:35,853
Yeah?
472
00:25:37,901 --> 00:25:39,735
Thanks, I really appreciate it.
473
00:25:39,736 --> 00:25:41,862
You want to show me how
much you appreciate it?
474
00:25:41,863 --> 00:25:43,948
Well, I'd better be going.
475
00:25:52,457 --> 00:25:54,534
If you want the car...
476
00:26:18,817 --> 00:26:21,236
Meow.
477
00:26:22,779 --> 00:26:24,822
Jesus, you scared
the hell out of me.
478
00:26:24,823 --> 00:26:26,907
That's the idea.
479
00:26:26,908 --> 00:26:29,535
What are you doing here?
If it's about the ecstasy...
480
00:26:29,536 --> 00:26:31,662
Relax, nowhere in the
Bible does it say,
481
00:26:31,663 --> 00:26:33,747
"Thou shalt not take ecstasy."
482
00:26:33,748 --> 00:26:36,667
- I'm more concerned with lying.
- But I really needed the car.
483
00:26:36,668 --> 00:26:38,669
The betting, the adultery,
484
00:26:38,670 --> 00:26:40,796
the not honouring thy
mother and father.
485
00:26:40,797 --> 00:26:42,756
OK, I get it. I get it.
486
00:26:42,757 --> 00:26:44,925
You're in quite the
pickle, aren't you?
487
00:26:44,926 --> 00:26:48,595
On the one hand, if you do manage
488
00:26:48,596 --> 00:26:50,806
to get Nina to succumb
to your advances,
489
00:26:50,807 --> 00:26:52,850
you'll have to deal
with her delusional ex
490
00:26:52,851 --> 00:26:54,852
with the rage issues.
491
00:26:54,853 --> 00:26:56,937
On the other hand,
if she spurns you,
492
00:26:56,938 --> 00:26:59,106
well, do you even have 1,000 bucks?
493
00:26:59,107 --> 00:27:00,899
You're not helping me here.
494
00:27:00,900 --> 00:27:03,444
Shouldn't you be telling me
how I should win her heart?
495
00:27:05,071 --> 00:27:07,239
Things are never that easy, Rick.
496
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:11,660
Don't rush where you're going.
Otherwise you may never arrive.
497
00:27:11,661 --> 00:27:13,871
Oh, and one more thing.
498
00:27:13,872 --> 00:27:16,332
I know, the stealing.
499
00:27:16,333 --> 00:27:18,661
No.
500
00:27:20,211 --> 00:27:22,129
I'm going to Ibiza on holiday,
501
00:27:22,130 --> 00:27:24,214
so you're on your own for a while.
502
00:27:24,215 --> 00:27:28,215
Don't screw it up. Oh, and
look out for the Lithuanians.
503
00:27:34,517 --> 00:27:37,853
- I'm redecorating.
- I can see that.
504
00:27:37,854 --> 00:27:40,439
It's better, huh? More cheery.
505
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:44,068
- Yeah, sure.
- Oh, where's my car?
506
00:27:44,069 --> 00:27:47,404
Uh, Steven has it.
507
00:27:47,405 --> 00:27:49,490
As long as your asshole
father doesn't.
508
00:27:49,491 --> 00:27:51,909
- You watch, this time...
- You're gonna divorce him?
509
00:27:51,910 --> 00:27:56,914
You betcha I am. Fat fuck.
510
00:27:56,915 --> 00:27:58,916
Mrs Bender? Mrs Bender?
511
00:27:58,917 --> 00:28:02,586
Oh... Uh, hey, Mr Bender.
512
00:28:02,587 --> 00:28:05,422
I'm getting ready to go hunting.
513
00:28:05,423 --> 00:28:07,383
- Nice.
- Was he on to me?
514
00:28:07,384 --> 00:28:09,051
Did he know I was screwing his wife
515
00:28:09,052 --> 00:28:11,095
on their new Scotchgarded sofa?
516
00:28:12,639 --> 00:28:15,058
Oh, yeah.
517
00:28:19,771 --> 00:28:22,773
Hey, I thought maybe
Billy could come along.
518
00:28:22,774 --> 00:28:24,858
- No.
- You know, keep you company.
519
00:28:24,859 --> 00:28:26,652
And he'll bring his new camera.
520
00:28:26,653 --> 00:28:28,987
It's gonna be boring waiting for
them to leave the apartment.
521
00:28:28,988 --> 00:28:30,735
Well, Billy's used to boring.
522
00:28:32,659 --> 00:28:35,203
- OK, have fun.
- 'Bye, Momma.
523
00:28:36,996 --> 00:28:41,708
Hey, did you hear about
the new Latin teacher?
524
00:28:41,709 --> 00:28:43,752
He got killed in a
wreck on the I-40.
525
00:28:48,216 --> 00:28:51,051
- There's a reason they call
Latin the dead language. - Huh?
526
00:28:51,052 --> 00:28:53,554
Oh, by the way, we're not going
to Joseph's den of debauchery.
527
00:28:53,555 --> 00:28:55,472
Well, then where are we going?
528
00:28:55,473 --> 00:28:57,891
We're gonna go pick up Nina and
grab some backstage passes.
529
00:28:57,892 --> 00:28:59,852
I've got a date with destiny.
530
00:28:59,853 --> 00:29:02,020
As long as we don't
drive on the I-40.
531
00:29:02,021 --> 00:29:04,148
This is the place. Turn here.
532
00:29:04,149 --> 00:29:06,233
Ew.
533
00:29:06,234 --> 00:29:09,361
He said 8:30. We're just
a few minutes early.
534
00:29:09,362 --> 00:29:11,447
I can't believe I'm
about to meet Josh.
535
00:29:11,448 --> 00:29:13,866
I mean, this is the most
exciting thing I've ever done.
536
00:29:13,867 --> 00:29:16,286
I met David Spade once.
537
00:29:17,454 --> 00:29:22,124
Well, if it wasn't him,
it looked just like him.
538
00:29:22,125 --> 00:29:25,502
So... what are your
plans after graduation?
539
00:29:25,503 --> 00:29:27,421
I don't really have
any at the moment.
540
00:29:27,422 --> 00:29:29,715
That doesn't sound very wise.
541
00:29:29,716 --> 00:29:33,677
Oh, you meant plans? Like...
Oh, yeah, I have a lot of those.
542
00:29:33,678 --> 00:29:35,512
How about you, you have any plans?
543
00:29:35,513 --> 00:29:38,682
Oh, I'm gonna become a priest.
544
00:29:38,683 --> 00:29:40,934
I definitely have a calling.
545
00:29:40,935 --> 00:29:43,645
- And I'd call you out.
- What does that mean?
546
00:29:43,646 --> 00:29:45,439
Nothing, it doesn't mean anything.
547
00:29:46,816 --> 00:29:51,111
Hey, wait a second. I thought
girls could only be nuns.
548
00:29:51,112 --> 00:29:52,988
- Only ugly girls are nuns.
- That's not true.
549
00:29:52,989 --> 00:29:55,073
Yeah, that's not
true, Billy. Shut up.
550
00:29:55,074 --> 00:29:59,036
Don't mind Billy. He's...
missing a chromosome.
551
00:29:59,037 --> 00:30:00,996
So this priest thing, that's great.
552
00:30:00,997 --> 00:30:03,165
You sure you wouldn't
rather just be
553
00:30:03,166 --> 00:30:05,243
on 'American Idol' or something?
554
00:30:06,794 --> 00:30:09,004
It's 8:30.
555
00:30:09,005 --> 00:30:12,090
A priest?
556
00:30:12,091 --> 00:30:14,176
That means that she can't ever...
557
00:30:14,177 --> 00:30:18,222
- I know, Billy.
- You just kicked my mom's car.
558
00:30:18,223 --> 00:30:22,309
- Is everything OK?
- Yup, we're great.
559
00:30:22,310 --> 00:30:26,063
What if she sees that dent?
She's gonna kill me.
560
00:30:26,064 --> 00:30:28,524
She won't kill you if I
don't bring you home alive.
561
00:30:28,525 --> 00:30:31,527
Rick!
562
00:30:31,528 --> 00:30:34,029
She's gonna be so angry at me.
563
00:30:34,030 --> 00:30:36,490
Billy, shut up. Here it is.
564
00:30:36,491 --> 00:30:38,367
Jimmy, open up.
565
00:30:40,828 --> 00:30:43,205
Where the fuck is my shit?
566
00:30:43,206 --> 00:30:46,250
Here. My backstage passes.
567
00:30:46,251 --> 00:30:48,961
You want your backstage passes,
you're gonna have to take
568
00:30:48,962 --> 00:30:53,048
a good, long, hard look
at the ass, Cleaver.
569
00:30:53,049 --> 00:30:55,092
- What?
- Jimmy Junior.
570
00:30:55,093 --> 00:30:57,803
Do it, son.
571
00:30:57,804 --> 00:30:59,388
Then you'll give me
my backstage passes?
572
00:30:59,389 --> 00:31:02,558
Look at him, be a man.
Look at Ricardo.
573
00:31:02,559 --> 00:31:08,105
The vomiting cobra.
The meat monkey.
574
00:31:08,106 --> 00:31:10,899
- Do it, take a look.
- OK.
575
00:31:10,900 --> 00:31:12,776
Now you're a man.
576
00:31:12,777 --> 00:31:14,570
Can I have my backstage passes now?
577
00:31:14,571 --> 00:31:16,196
Let me grab those for you.
578
00:31:16,197 --> 00:31:18,365
Oh, by the way, go fuck yourself!
579
00:31:21,119 --> 00:31:23,287
That douche bag. Now
what am I gonna do?
580
00:31:23,288 --> 00:31:25,163
Dude, did you see his balls?
581
00:31:25,164 --> 00:31:27,708
Guys, come on. We don't
want to keep Josh waiting.
582
00:31:27,709 --> 00:31:30,877
- OK.
- Come on, come on.
583
00:31:30,878 --> 00:31:34,047
Hey, Rick, isn't
that your dad's car?
584
00:31:34,048 --> 00:31:35,841
Oh, shit, I think you're right.
585
00:31:35,842 --> 00:31:39,672
- Whose car?
- What's he doing here?
586
00:31:43,850 --> 00:31:45,601
Fuck me!
587
00:31:45,602 --> 00:31:47,686
Take that. Ride me.
588
00:31:47,687 --> 00:31:50,939
Oh, Joseph. Do me doggy style!
589
00:31:50,940 --> 00:31:52,691
That's Rick's dad.
590
00:31:52,692 --> 00:31:54,610
And your... mom?
591
00:31:54,611 --> 00:31:57,070
- Your pussy's so tight.
- Doubtful.
592
00:31:57,071 --> 00:31:59,990
I think this is what my parents
were trying to shelter me from.
593
00:31:59,991 --> 00:32:02,075
Are you ready for your turnkey?
594
00:32:02,076 --> 00:32:04,661
- Those are both our dads.
- Yeah, I'm pretty positive.
595
00:32:04,662 --> 00:32:06,788
I think I'm gonna
throw up. Oh, God.
596
00:32:06,789 --> 00:32:09,082
I think I have an idea.
597
00:32:09,083 --> 00:32:10,626
Fuck me! Fuck me!
598
00:32:10,627 --> 00:32:12,711
Vice squad.
599
00:32:12,712 --> 00:32:16,548
Oh, shit. Leave the dildo!
Let's go! Let's go!
600
00:32:16,549 --> 00:32:18,508
Oh, my God, go! Hurry.
601
00:32:18,509 --> 00:32:20,844
I'm getting in the
car, don't yell at me!
602
00:32:20,845 --> 00:32:22,429
Hurry up, let's go!
603
00:32:22,430 --> 00:32:25,140
Pamela's gonna kill me!
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
604
00:32:27,518 --> 00:32:29,728
- Billy?
- Richard?
605
00:32:29,729 --> 00:32:31,813
- Shit! Shit!
- You stay, mister!
606
00:32:31,814 --> 00:32:33,815
Nina! Nina, come here, let's go!
607
00:32:33,816 --> 00:32:36,109
- You stay right there, mister!
- You are so grounded!
608
00:32:36,110 --> 00:32:37,986
- It was Rick's idea.
- What?
609
00:32:40,365 --> 00:32:43,116
So... what's your name?
610
00:32:43,117 --> 00:32:45,202
Nina.
611
00:32:45,203 --> 00:32:50,165
Nina? That's a pretty
name for a... pretty girl.
612
00:32:50,166 --> 00:32:52,584
Can I get you something, honey?
613
00:32:52,585 --> 00:32:56,380
Tea? Soup? An HIV test?
614
00:32:56,381 --> 00:32:59,675
These are brand-new Dockers.
615
00:32:59,676 --> 00:33:01,760
You know I puke when I'm nervous.
616
00:33:01,761 --> 00:33:03,679
What are we gonna do here? Hm?
617
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,056
I didn't know anyone could run
that fast wearing a harness.
618
00:33:06,057 --> 00:33:08,350
Alright, cut the crap.
Excuse my French.
619
00:33:08,351 --> 00:33:10,143
How much do you want?
620
00:33:10,144 --> 00:33:12,062
As I see it... correct
me if I'm wrong...
621
00:33:12,063 --> 00:33:13,730
you'd like us to
forget you were here.
622
00:33:13,731 --> 00:33:15,899
We'd also like to
forget we were here.
623
00:33:15,900 --> 00:33:17,776
The only thing that's preventing us
624
00:33:17,777 --> 00:33:19,861
from falling into a
state of total amnesia
625
00:33:19,862 --> 00:33:22,739
is this little dent
problem we have.
626
00:33:22,740 --> 00:33:26,243
Now, if that just... went away,
627
00:33:26,244 --> 00:33:28,453
we could forget everything.
628
00:33:28,454 --> 00:33:31,623
- How you suppose we do that?
- Yeah.
629
00:33:31,624 --> 00:33:33,500
You'll say you ran
into Mrs Bender's car
630
00:33:33,501 --> 00:33:35,711
on the street outside
your apartment.
631
00:33:35,712 --> 00:33:38,463
Why would his wife believe her
car was outside my apartment?
632
00:33:38,464 --> 00:33:41,091
You'll have to trust
me on this one.
633
00:33:47,014 --> 00:33:51,594
- Alright... deal.
- Deal.
634
00:33:55,898 --> 00:33:59,609
You sure you're OK with Billy
and Mr Bender taking you home?
635
00:33:59,610 --> 00:34:03,029
Totally. Your dad kind of
creeps me out. No of fence.
636
00:34:03,030 --> 00:34:04,906
None taken.
637
00:34:04,907 --> 00:34:07,033
Are you gonna be OK, though?
638
00:34:07,034 --> 00:34:11,121
I don't know what I would do
if I found my dad in a motel
639
00:34:11,122 --> 00:34:13,206
with our neighbour and
an underage hooker.
640
00:34:13,207 --> 00:34:17,169
Yeah, it's not the
first time. I'm just...
641
00:34:17,170 --> 00:34:19,337
I'm sorry we missed the concert.
642
00:34:19,338 --> 00:34:22,841
It's OK. Actually, I had fun.
643
00:34:22,842 --> 00:34:25,635
You did?
644
00:34:25,636 --> 00:34:29,306
- Oddly enough, yeah.
- Really?
645
00:34:31,267 --> 00:34:37,019
Well, I guess we'll have
to do it again sometime.
646
00:34:40,067 --> 00:34:42,440
I'd like that.
647
00:34:44,071 --> 00:34:46,023
Me too.
648
00:34:59,212 --> 00:35:04,424
I know where you, Billy, Mr Bender,
649
00:35:04,425 --> 00:35:06,843
and your son of a bitch
father were last night.
650
00:35:06,844 --> 00:35:09,179
- Don't even try to deny it.
- Well...
651
00:35:09,180 --> 00:35:11,473
I had a detective
follow your father.
652
00:35:11,474 --> 00:35:14,226
Not only were he and
Keith Bender at a motel
653
00:35:14,227 --> 00:35:16,311
with some crack whore,
654
00:35:16,312 --> 00:35:19,272
you and Billy were there
with some slut of your own.
655
00:35:19,273 --> 00:35:21,650
What is it with the
men in this family?
656
00:35:21,651 --> 00:35:23,693
You're such miserable
fucks, you gotta bring in
657
00:35:23,694 --> 00:35:25,737
the neighbours to
pinch-hit for you?
658
00:35:25,738 --> 00:35:27,572
Where is your father anyway?
659
00:35:27,573 --> 00:35:29,658
I called to scream at
him, he wasn't there.
660
00:35:29,659 --> 00:35:33,411
He is on a business
trip. Lithuania.
661
00:35:33,412 --> 00:35:37,333
Figures he wouldn't be
here to face the music.
662
00:35:39,544 --> 00:35:45,590
When I get back, I'm
gonna hire a lawyer.
663
00:35:45,591 --> 00:35:48,214
Just you wait and see.
664
00:35:49,595 --> 00:35:51,137
Where are you going?
665
00:35:51,138 --> 00:35:52,848
What do you mean, where am I going?
666
00:35:52,849 --> 00:35:54,808
- It's April.
- Rehab never works for you.
667
00:35:54,809 --> 00:35:56,935
I think you've
developed an immunity.
668
00:35:56,936 --> 00:36:00,021
It always works for me, until
I come home to my family.
669
00:36:00,022 --> 00:36:02,983
Mom, really? Come on.
670
00:36:02,984 --> 00:36:05,735
- What?
- Vodka? Nice.
671
00:36:05,736 --> 00:36:07,863
Arriving at rehab sober
is like showing up
672
00:36:07,864 --> 00:36:09,990
to a tennis lesson
without a racquet.
673
00:36:09,991 --> 00:36:12,694
There's my cab.
674
00:36:13,911 --> 00:36:16,113
Don't sell the house this time.
675
00:36:18,374 --> 00:36:22,252
- Ricky! Yoo-hoo!
- Oh, shit!
676
00:36:22,253 --> 00:36:24,629
Can I speak with you for a moment?
677
00:36:24,630 --> 00:36:27,048
Yeah, you.
678
00:36:27,049 --> 00:36:30,051
- Richard.
- Father Krumins.
679
00:36:30,052 --> 00:36:33,263
Well, thanks again, Mrs Bender,
680
00:36:33,264 --> 00:36:35,849
for opening your lovely home
to this week's bingo game.
681
00:36:35,850 --> 00:36:37,851
Oh, not at all, Father.
682
00:36:37,852 --> 00:36:40,562
Hopefully, next time Lois Enlow
won't get her prosthetic arm
683
00:36:40,563 --> 00:36:42,481
stuck in the garbage disposal.
684
00:36:44,275 --> 00:36:47,903
Took Keith four hours
to get that thing out.
685
00:36:47,904 --> 00:36:51,323
- God bless you.
- Thanks. OK, yeah.
686
00:36:51,324 --> 00:36:53,074
I spoke with your
mother this morning.
687
00:36:53,075 --> 00:36:55,035
What were you doing with
that little slut yesterday?
688
00:36:55,036 --> 00:36:56,912
- Which slut?
- How many sluts were you with?
689
00:36:56,913 --> 00:36:58,955
One. None.
690
00:36:58,956 --> 00:37:00,874
Nina's not a slut, she's
a friend from school.
691
00:37:00,875 --> 00:37:02,918
I feel like you don't
really care about me.
692
00:37:02,919 --> 00:37:05,879
- Sorry?
- Can I ask you a question?
693
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:09,132
- OK.
- Do you want to fuck me?
694
00:37:09,133 --> 00:37:11,176
Uh, Mrs Bender, I have school.
695
00:37:11,177 --> 00:37:14,551
Skip homeroom. Come on,
I'll write you a note. Let's go!
696
00:37:18,309 --> 00:37:20,060
- Argh!
- Hello.
697
00:37:20,061 --> 00:37:22,103
Hey, Karlis, what's up?
698
00:37:22,104 --> 00:37:24,648
Less than a week before Arbor
Day. How's that going?
699
00:37:24,649 --> 00:37:26,483
Good. I probably won't
even need that long.
700
00:37:26,484 --> 00:37:28,443
Hey, how do you like your pinkies?
701
00:37:28,444 --> 00:37:30,028
How do I like my pinkies?
702
00:37:30,029 --> 00:37:31,571
I mean the way they currently are.
703
00:37:31,572 --> 00:37:33,490
Yeah, I like my... pinkies.
704
00:37:33,491 --> 00:37:35,238
You better be right.
705
00:37:40,748 --> 00:37:42,624
A reminder, students,
706
00:37:42,625 --> 00:37:44,709
this year's prom has
been cancelled.
707
00:37:44,710 --> 00:37:47,462
Hey, you missed homeroom.
Where were you?
708
00:37:47,463 --> 00:37:49,339
I was fucking your
mother up the ass.
709
00:37:49,340 --> 00:37:53,044
- What?
- Kidding. I overslept.
710
00:37:54,971 --> 00:37:57,806
Hey, Billy. Hi, Rick.
711
00:37:57,807 --> 00:37:59,725
Hi.
712
00:38:05,648 --> 00:38:09,401
Everyone, this is Sister Marie
Therese Francine Dubois.
713
00:38:09,402 --> 00:38:12,028
She will be filling in
for the late Mr Apgar,
714
00:38:12,029 --> 00:38:15,574
and the late Mr Marquart, who
died so tragically on I-40.
715
00:38:16,617 --> 00:38:20,286
Sister is a Carmelite nun.
She's taken a vow of silence.
716
00:38:20,287 --> 00:38:22,497
However, given our urgent
need, Father Krumins
717
00:38:22,498 --> 00:38:25,375
has gracefully granted the
sister special dispensation
718
00:38:25,376 --> 00:38:28,169
for her to speak during class,
so she won't go to hell.
719
00:38:28,170 --> 00:38:30,168
Sister.
720
00:38:46,981 --> 00:38:50,525
I am very happy to be teaching you.
721
00:38:50,526 --> 00:38:52,819
My name is Sister Marie
Therese Francine Dubois.
722
00:38:52,820 --> 00:38:54,988
Since there isn't time to
get through what I want,
723
00:38:54,989 --> 00:38:57,191
I will not have time
to take any quest...
724
00:38:59,785 --> 00:39:02,495
- Hm.
- She died.
725
00:39:02,496 --> 00:39:06,541
No, she's... just sleeping.
726
00:39:06,542 --> 00:39:08,877
Bet you five bucks she wakes
in less than a minute
727
00:39:08,878 --> 00:39:11,004
without anyone saying anything.
728
00:39:11,005 --> 00:39:12,964
OK, you're on.
729
00:39:18,846 --> 00:39:23,096
Come on. Come on.
730
00:39:24,935 --> 00:39:26,808
30 seconds.
731
00:39:30,900 --> 00:39:33,068
45 seconds.
732
00:39:37,615 --> 00:39:39,692
55 seconds.
733
00:39:41,035 --> 00:39:42,702
- Yes!
- Conquest of Gaul.
734
00:39:42,703 --> 00:39:47,158
The forces of civilisation over
the barbarians in ipso facto...
735
00:39:49,710 --> 00:39:53,338
Oh! Alright, double or nothing.
736
00:39:53,339 --> 00:39:55,131
Count me out.
737
00:40:04,975 --> 00:40:07,685
What? What do you want?
738
00:40:07,686 --> 00:40:09,813
Are we gonna get the
rest of the day off
739
00:40:09,814 --> 00:40:11,689
like we did for Mr Apgar?
740
00:40:11,690 --> 00:40:13,983
I for one clearly feel
traumatised again.
741
00:40:13,984 --> 00:40:16,027
Yeah, and besides,
we got totally gypped
742
00:40:16,028 --> 00:40:18,238
when his replacement
bit it on the I-40.
743
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:20,448
Mr Marquart never
even taught a class!
744
00:40:20,449 --> 00:40:22,534
Fine! You know, it's
your education.
745
00:40:22,535 --> 00:40:24,494
I don't give a shit,
but after today,
746
00:40:24,495 --> 00:40:26,746
I am going to draw up an
official school policy
747
00:40:26,747 --> 00:40:28,790
on faculty fatalities.
748
00:40:28,791 --> 00:40:31,543
Mr Stevens and Mr Bender, I'd
like to see you in my office.
749
00:40:31,544 --> 00:40:35,672
- 'Bye.
- I don't feel so good, Rick.
750
00:40:35,673 --> 00:40:37,549
Kevin Carpenter brought
to my attention
751
00:40:37,550 --> 00:40:39,926
that you bet on whether
or not the nun was dead.
752
00:40:39,927 --> 00:40:41,469
Kevin Carpenter is a dick.
753
00:40:41,470 --> 00:40:43,513
- We bet on when she would wake.
- Billy!
754
00:40:43,514 --> 00:40:46,141
You admit to gambling
on school grounds.
755
00:40:46,142 --> 00:40:48,935
Well, this should be good for
a nice, long suspension.
756
00:40:48,936 --> 00:40:51,312
I've been waiting to take
you two clowns down.
757
00:40:53,023 --> 00:40:55,066
There's a parent
here to speak to you
758
00:40:55,067 --> 00:40:56,943
about that thing that happened,
759
00:40:56,944 --> 00:40:59,571
that one time over by that place.
760
00:40:59,572 --> 00:41:01,399
Right now?
761
00:41:02,491 --> 00:41:05,740
I'll be right back.
762
00:41:11,667 --> 00:41:14,961
- I think I'm gonna be sick.
- Swallow it, Billy.
763
00:41:14,962 --> 00:41:16,629
- What are you doing?
- Check this out.
764
00:41:16,630 --> 00:41:18,832
Poole took this from me last year.
765
00:41:21,594 --> 00:41:23,512
What's this?
766
00:41:27,224 --> 00:41:29,350
Holy shit.
767
00:41:29,351 --> 00:41:31,477
These are pictures from
the girls' locker room.
768
00:41:31,478 --> 00:41:34,101
This is one of Nina.
769
00:41:36,025 --> 00:41:39,027
What are you doing, Mr Stevens?
770
00:41:39,028 --> 00:41:42,780
I'm just, uh, getting
out of suspension.
771
00:41:42,781 --> 00:41:46,492
- What is that?
- 10 to 20 would be my guess.
772
00:41:46,493 --> 00:41:48,620
I've never seen those
pictures before in my life.
773
00:41:48,621 --> 00:41:50,747
Who said anything about pictures?
774
00:41:50,748 --> 00:41:54,083
Well, I didn't take them.
775
00:41:54,084 --> 00:41:55,919
And, I mean, who's to say
776
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:57,545
how long they've
actually been in there?
777
00:41:57,546 --> 00:41:59,505
Could have been years.
778
00:41:59,506 --> 00:42:02,425
This one looks an awful
lot like Emily Tolls,
779
00:42:02,426 --> 00:42:04,719
and she's currently a junior.
780
00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:09,557
Hey, how about I forget
781
00:42:09,558 --> 00:42:12,685
all about today's little
gambling indiscretion?
782
00:42:12,686 --> 00:42:14,812
How about you forget
that we even exist
783
00:42:14,813 --> 00:42:16,731
until the end of the school year.
784
00:42:16,732 --> 00:42:19,359
Rick and Billy who?
785
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:23,238
Stevens and Bender. Ow.
786
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:25,281
I'm gonna kill Carpenter.
787
00:42:25,282 --> 00:42:27,867
If you don't stop chasing after
Nina, he's gonna kill you.
788
00:42:27,868 --> 00:42:30,370
Yeah, but if I do stop, then
Malinauskas is gonna kill me,
789
00:42:30,371 --> 00:42:32,455
because I can't pay
him 1,000 bucks.
790
00:42:32,456 --> 00:42:34,832
Well, at least you got that
smoking hot picture of Nina.
791
00:42:34,833 --> 00:42:37,835
I haven't even seen it yet,
and I already popped a chub.
792
00:42:37,836 --> 00:42:39,754
I'm gonna burn it when I get home.
793
00:42:39,755 --> 00:42:41,339
Burn it? Why?
794
00:42:41,340 --> 00:42:43,258
It doesn't feel right
being able to see her
795
00:42:43,259 --> 00:42:44,801
when she doesn't even know it.
796
00:42:44,802 --> 00:42:46,511
What?
797
00:42:46,512 --> 00:42:48,471
Besides, I'll be getting the
real thing soon enough.
798
00:42:48,472 --> 00:42:51,349
Hey! What did Principal Poole
want to talk to you about?
799
00:42:51,350 --> 00:42:55,144
Uh, he wanted our help
800
00:42:55,145 --> 00:42:58,356
in drawing up the new school
policy on faculty fatalities.
801
00:42:58,357 --> 00:43:01,901
Wait! What are you two
cornholers still doing here?
802
00:43:01,902 --> 00:43:04,112
And because I figured he
could do better than that...
803
00:43:04,113 --> 00:43:06,447
What are you fucktards
still doing here?
804
00:43:06,448 --> 00:43:08,574
What are you fudge packers
still doing here?
805
00:43:08,575 --> 00:43:11,411
Ah, who am I kidding?
He's borderline Cro-Magnon.
806
00:43:11,412 --> 00:43:13,579
I thought Poole
suspended your asses.
807
00:43:13,580 --> 00:43:16,207
For your information, they were
helping amend school policy.
808
00:43:16,208 --> 00:43:19,503
And they were getting
ready to walk me home.
809
00:43:21,755 --> 00:43:24,215
I'm coming for you.
810
00:43:24,216 --> 00:43:27,093
- Oh!
- Butt sniffer.
811
00:43:27,094 --> 00:43:29,012
Dick.
812
00:43:29,972 --> 00:43:31,514
That poor nun.
813
00:43:31,515 --> 00:43:33,599
I'll have to get better
at the whole tears thing
814
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:35,598
if I wanna be a priest.
815
00:43:38,105 --> 00:43:41,691
So this, uh, this priest thing,
816
00:43:41,692 --> 00:43:43,986
is it just for the
get-into-heaven-free card?
817
00:43:44,945 --> 00:43:47,864
No, silly. I like helping people.
818
00:43:47,865 --> 00:43:50,783
That's why I'm a candy-striper
at County General too.
819
00:43:50,784 --> 00:43:53,953
I dunno, everybody could use
a little help from time to time.
820
00:43:53,954 --> 00:43:58,207
You're hot. You don't
have to help people.
821
00:43:58,208 --> 00:44:00,460
Well, somebody has to.
822
00:44:00,461 --> 00:44:03,421
We all don't have our
own personal saints.
823
00:44:03,422 --> 00:44:06,549
Besides, I want to be the first.
824
00:44:06,550 --> 00:44:10,720
Like Hillary Clinton,
or Amelia Earhart.
825
00:44:10,721 --> 00:44:12,680
Sally Ride.
826
00:44:12,681 --> 00:44:14,932
I don't know, I want to be special.
827
00:44:14,933 --> 00:44:18,103
I think you already are special.
828
00:44:20,689 --> 00:44:22,815
Well, thanks for walking me home.
829
00:44:22,816 --> 00:44:25,519
Anytime. I, uh...
830
00:44:28,530 --> 00:44:31,859
I really like...
spending time with you.
831
00:44:35,829 --> 00:44:38,248
- See you tomorrow.
- OK.
832
00:44:40,125 --> 00:44:42,123
There's hope for me yet.
833
00:44:47,633 --> 00:44:50,009
- Hey, Steven.
- Playing hooky, pussies?
834
00:44:50,010 --> 00:44:52,095
Steven, you don't happen to know
835
00:44:52,096 --> 00:44:54,055
how to say anything
in Latin, do you?
836
00:44:54,056 --> 00:44:57,809
- Huh?
- Saved by his own stupidity.
837
00:44:57,810 --> 00:45:00,520
Some dude called for you.
Something about a car.
838
00:45:00,521 --> 00:45:04,567
Funny way to spell 'auto'.
839
00:45:08,195 --> 00:45:10,279
- Yes?
- Mantas Bartuska?
840
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:12,156
It's Rick Stevens.
841
00:45:12,157 --> 00:45:14,242
Oh, it's gonna take another week
842
00:45:14,243 --> 00:45:16,119
before I fix your mother's car.
843
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,621
I want to know what wheels
would you like for a loan?
844
00:45:18,622 --> 00:45:20,081
Loaner?
845
00:45:20,082 --> 00:45:22,542
Father Krumins told me to get
you whatever car you want.
846
00:45:22,543 --> 00:45:24,996
- Father Krumins? Anything?
- Anything.
847
00:45:28,841 --> 00:45:32,093
Uh, well, my favourite
is an Aston Martin.
848
00:45:32,094 --> 00:45:34,513
It will be there within the hour.
849
00:45:35,848 --> 00:45:38,015
They're loaning me an Aston Martin.
850
00:45:38,016 --> 00:45:41,936
Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
I got accepted to Stanford!
851
00:45:41,937 --> 00:45:43,563
That's amazing. You're
gonna move out.
852
00:45:43,564 --> 00:45:45,064
Yeah!
853
00:45:45,065 --> 00:45:47,438
What?
854
00:45:48,610 --> 00:45:53,239
Get a hard-on, break your dick
in half and fuck yourself.
855
00:45:53,240 --> 00:45:57,994
- Two great things in a row.
- Wait, who's Aston Martin?
856
00:46:03,625 --> 00:46:05,702
Knock yourself out.
857
00:46:11,508 --> 00:46:13,301
Whoa!
858
00:46:15,012 --> 00:46:19,558
? I found my beat
It's in your sound... ?
859
00:46:20,601 --> 00:46:24,896
When Nina sees you in this car,
she's gonna be all over you.
860
00:46:24,897 --> 00:46:27,148
? I'll curse the crowd... ?
861
00:46:27,149 --> 00:46:29,859
Hey, can we get Slurpees?
862
00:46:29,860 --> 00:46:31,402
Yeah.
863
00:46:31,403 --> 00:46:32,945
- Really?
- No.
864
00:46:32,946 --> 00:46:35,907
? We've been living
with the lights out
865
00:46:35,908 --> 00:46:37,992
? Been moving in the night... ?
866
00:46:37,993 --> 00:46:41,412
So, uh, do you have
any plans tonight?
867
00:46:41,413 --> 00:46:44,499
Um, yeah, after Meals on Wheels,
868
00:46:44,500 --> 00:46:46,417
I'm gonna go down to the shelter
869
00:46:46,418 --> 00:46:48,791
and play with some
stray animals... why?
870
00:46:49,963 --> 00:46:52,837
Oh, uh... no reason.
871
00:46:54,051 --> 00:46:56,093
Do you have enough room back there?
872
00:46:56,094 --> 00:46:58,429
- Well, I... Not really.
- Yeah, he's fine.
873
00:46:58,430 --> 00:47:00,515
Don't worry about him.
874
00:47:00,516 --> 00:47:02,308
What the...?
875
00:47:02,309 --> 00:47:04,393
Pull over to the right
side of the road.
876
00:47:04,394 --> 00:47:06,646
- Why are they pulling us over?
- I don't know.
877
00:47:06,647 --> 00:47:09,600
But I bet it's fine.
Don't worry about it.
878
00:47:11,276 --> 00:47:14,153
Are you aware this car is
registered to Mantas Bartuska?
879
00:47:14,154 --> 00:47:16,239
Who?
880
00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:18,533
He's only one of the most
notorious Lithuanian mafiosos
881
00:47:18,534 --> 00:47:20,618
in the entire three-county region.
882
00:47:20,619 --> 00:47:23,746
- This is a mobster's car?
- No, it was a loaner.
883
00:47:23,747 --> 00:47:25,790
He's having my mom's car fixed.
884
00:47:25,791 --> 00:47:27,583
Having the mafia fix
your mother's car?
885
00:47:27,584 --> 00:47:29,460
- You are?
- No, no.
886
00:47:29,461 --> 00:47:31,587
You remember, Father Krumins
hit me, you were there.
887
00:47:31,588 --> 00:47:35,383
He sent me to Mr Bartuska
to have my car fixed, so...
888
00:47:35,384 --> 00:47:37,468
Wait, wait, wait,
the Catholic Church
889
00:47:37,469 --> 00:47:39,345
sent you to the Malinauskas
family's chop shop
890
00:47:39,346 --> 00:47:41,298
to get your car fixed?
891
00:47:42,474 --> 00:47:45,226
Oh, my god.
892
00:47:45,227 --> 00:47:49,230
Mr Stevens, I have a question
I need you to answer.
893
00:47:49,231 --> 00:47:51,315
OK.
894
00:47:51,316 --> 00:47:53,734
How did Mantas Bartuska's body
895
00:47:53,735 --> 00:47:55,861
end up in the trunk
of your mother's car?
896
00:47:55,862 --> 00:47:58,197
What? I... I didn't even know
that Mantas Bartuska was dead.
897
00:47:58,198 --> 00:47:59,907
I know nothing about this.
898
00:47:59,908 --> 00:48:02,451
We nabbed you driving
his Aston Martin.
899
00:48:02,452 --> 00:48:04,871
Explain that to me, please.
900
00:48:05,914 --> 00:48:08,499
- Am I a suspect?
- Big time.
901
00:48:08,500 --> 00:48:11,419
Normally, I wouldn't care about
the lowlife that got shot,
902
00:48:11,420 --> 00:48:16,048
but Mr Bartuska was ready
to strike a plea deal
903
00:48:16,049 --> 00:48:20,720
to give us the name of the
head of the Lithuanian mafia.
904
00:48:20,721 --> 00:48:24,056
This guy, he's so elusive
and so secretive,
905
00:48:24,057 --> 00:48:26,517
we don't even know his name.
906
00:48:26,518 --> 00:48:29,937
But Bartuska had his name,
907
00:48:29,938 --> 00:48:32,898
and was gonna give it to
me until this happened.
908
00:48:32,899 --> 00:48:35,026
I don't know what your
real involvement here is,
909
00:48:35,027 --> 00:48:36,902
but I know you're
guilty of something.
910
00:48:36,903 --> 00:48:38,613
I don't... I don't know anything.
911
00:48:38,614 --> 00:48:40,489
- Don't interrupt me!
- I...
912
00:48:40,490 --> 00:48:42,617
Yeah.
913
00:48:42,618 --> 00:48:44,827
Miss Stratton-Osbourne
is here for Rick.
914
00:48:44,828 --> 00:48:47,531
- Dadgummit! Show her in!
- Who?
915
00:48:49,666 --> 00:48:52,043
I've been retained to
represent Mr Stevens.
916
00:48:52,044 --> 00:48:54,962
If you don't mind, I'd like a
moment alone with my client.
917
00:48:54,963 --> 00:48:56,839
Cigarette?
918
00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:59,042
I'm 17.
919
00:49:00,427 --> 00:49:02,553
I guess you're wondering
why I'm here.
920
00:49:02,554 --> 00:49:04,513
Father Krumins has a
favour to ask you.
921
00:49:04,514 --> 00:49:06,349
Father Krumins has a
favour to ask me?
922
00:49:06,350 --> 00:49:08,267
He requests that you
refrain from mentioning
923
00:49:08,268 --> 00:49:10,853
that the church is the one that
referred you to Mr Bartuska.
924
00:49:10,854 --> 00:49:13,022
- But I already did.
- Oh.
925
00:49:13,023 --> 00:49:15,733
Well, tell them you were kidding.
926
00:49:15,734 --> 00:49:17,943
- The church wants me to lie?
- Yes.
927
00:49:17,944 --> 00:49:19,779
- Do you wanna get out of here?
- Yes.
928
00:49:19,780 --> 00:49:21,656
I've been doing some research.
929
00:49:21,657 --> 00:49:23,741
Is it true your dad is
on business in Vilnius?
930
00:49:23,742 --> 00:49:25,284
Uh, I think so.
931
00:49:25,285 --> 00:49:28,037
Do what I say, I'll have you
out of here within the hour.
932
00:49:28,038 --> 00:49:29,997
Are you sure you can get me off?
933
00:49:29,998 --> 00:49:32,917
Kid, I've gotten off more
guys than I care to remember.
934
00:49:32,918 --> 00:49:34,752
How did you get the Aston Martin?
935
00:49:34,753 --> 00:49:36,629
What Aston Martin?
936
00:49:36,630 --> 00:49:38,756
If you don't tell me
how you got the car,
937
00:49:38,757 --> 00:49:40,841
I'm gonna put you in
prison with an inmate
938
00:49:40,842 --> 00:49:43,177
who will eat your genitals
off while you're sleeping.
939
00:49:43,178 --> 00:49:46,722
Tell him the truth,
just like we practised.
940
00:49:46,723 --> 00:49:48,808
Mr Bartuska gave it to me.
941
00:49:48,809 --> 00:49:51,477
Why would Big Barty give you
a brand-new Aston Martin?
942
00:49:51,478 --> 00:49:55,690
He said that it was a gift
in honour of my father.
943
00:49:55,691 --> 00:49:58,901
What did your father do to earn
such a gift from a mobster?
944
00:49:58,902 --> 00:50:01,153
Well, it's definitely not because
945
00:50:01,154 --> 00:50:03,614
he's a kingpin in the
Lithuanian mafia.
946
00:50:03,615 --> 00:50:06,742
Expect me to believe that this
loser's father is in the mob?
947
00:50:06,743 --> 00:50:08,285
Draw your own conclusions,
948
00:50:08,286 --> 00:50:10,579
but given the alternative is
that the mob hired this kid...
949
00:50:10,580 --> 00:50:13,124
I mean, look at him...
I think you'll see
950
00:50:13,125 --> 00:50:15,334
it makes sense to
look into the father.
951
00:50:15,335 --> 00:50:17,586
Do you have any evidence
to back this up?
952
00:50:17,587 --> 00:50:21,298
Well, my father is currently
on business... in Lithuania.
953
00:50:21,299 --> 00:50:22,842
Check his credit card records.
954
00:50:22,843 --> 00:50:24,590
You'll see he's telling the truth.
955
00:50:25,554 --> 00:50:27,555
Ho! Hah!
956
00:50:27,556 --> 00:50:29,682
Well, you and your
client can leave now,
957
00:50:29,683 --> 00:50:33,310
and I'm gonna make some
phone calls... right here.
958
00:50:33,311 --> 00:50:35,980
And if I don't like the
answers I'm getting,
959
00:50:35,981 --> 00:50:39,108
I'm gonna come see you...
I know where you live.
960
00:50:39,109 --> 00:50:41,569
Nice work... by the
time those yokels
961
00:50:41,570 --> 00:50:43,988
get through chasing that line
of bullshit about your father,
962
00:50:43,989 --> 00:50:46,449
this whole incident
will be long forgotten.
963
00:50:46,450 --> 00:50:48,951
Oh, and by the way, I got
your car out of impound.
964
00:50:48,952 --> 00:50:51,120
You can keep it until your
mom's car gets fixed.
965
00:50:51,121 --> 00:50:53,915
You want to give me a ride
home in your new wheels?
966
00:50:58,837 --> 00:51:00,921
Why does it smell
like puke in here?
967
00:51:00,922 --> 00:51:04,425
If I get a speeding ticket, you
can get me out of it, right?
968
00:51:04,426 --> 00:51:06,302
It's a piece of cake.
969
00:51:06,303 --> 00:51:09,096
Oh, can I take a few of these?
I get these tension headaches.
970
00:51:09,097 --> 00:51:12,057
Wait, no, those are ecs...
971
00:51:12,058 --> 00:51:13,931
Those are expired.
972
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:24,028
Ohhh! Oooh!
973
00:51:25,489 --> 00:51:27,490
Oh, turn here.
974
00:51:29,618 --> 00:51:31,660
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
975
00:51:31,661 --> 00:51:34,079
Ohh! I love it!
976
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:36,624
Just touch my hand. Oh, my
God, that feels so good.
977
00:51:36,625 --> 00:51:39,419
Oh, my God.
978
00:51:41,713 --> 00:51:46,259
- Oh, my God!
- Ah.
979
00:51:51,389 --> 00:51:54,558
You're just the nicest
guy I've ever met.
980
00:51:54,559 --> 00:51:58,229
Do you know you're pure,
like a baby, innocent puppy.
981
00:51:58,230 --> 00:52:01,565
Like an angel dog, like a
little sweet puppy angel
982
00:52:01,566 --> 00:52:03,818
coming from the heavens
to save the world.
983
00:52:03,819 --> 00:52:06,362
Do you want to come in and
listen to some trance music?
984
00:52:06,363 --> 00:52:08,364
Don't do it, Rick.
985
00:52:08,365 --> 00:52:11,944
You're this close to
my promised land.
986
00:52:13,620 --> 00:52:15,162
No, we're here, get out.
987
00:52:15,163 --> 00:52:17,248
When I was a kid,
I wished for big boobs.
988
00:52:17,249 --> 00:52:19,416
- And then I got them.
- Oh, that's great.
989
00:52:19,417 --> 00:52:21,126
- Isn't that cool?
- That's great, thank you.
990
00:52:21,127 --> 00:52:23,254
You want to come in
for some tequila?
991
00:52:23,255 --> 00:52:26,215
'Bye! No! Nope. Thank
you, though. 'Bye!
992
00:52:26,216 --> 00:52:27,963
Huh!
993
00:52:46,945 --> 00:52:49,029
Where the hell have you been?
994
00:52:49,030 --> 00:52:51,782
Just undergoing interrogation
downtown about my mob ties.
995
00:52:51,783 --> 00:52:53,659
Hilarious.
996
00:52:53,660 --> 00:52:55,202
Hi, Cherysh.
997
00:52:55,203 --> 00:52:56,996
Hello.
998
00:52:57,831 --> 00:52:59,540
So you've opened a brothel.
999
00:52:59,541 --> 00:53:01,625
Remember the rules...
they can touch you,
1000
00:53:01,626 --> 00:53:03,794
but you can't touch them.
1001
00:53:06,464 --> 00:53:08,716
It's perfect. See, they
do it every night anyway.
1002
00:53:08,717 --> 00:53:10,634
And this way we make money,
1003
00:53:10,635 --> 00:53:12,803
which will be more than
enough to pay Karlis.
1004
00:53:12,804 --> 00:53:15,639
So you're already giving up?
1005
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:19,476
No, I just... I want
to cover all my bases,
1006
00:53:19,477 --> 00:53:23,022
just in case Nina and I
decide to take it slow.
1007
00:53:23,023 --> 00:53:25,816
Oh. OK.
1008
00:53:28,653 --> 00:53:30,404
Have they had their shots?
1009
00:53:30,405 --> 00:53:33,324
Who cares? We're opening a
strip club, not a vet's office.
1010
00:53:33,325 --> 00:53:35,242
They're on the pillows, Rick.
1011
00:53:37,162 --> 00:53:40,456
? Money don't get
everything, it's true
1012
00:53:40,457 --> 00:53:42,166
? What it don't get I can't use
1013
00:53:42,167 --> 00:53:43,914
? I want money... ?
1014
00:53:45,128 --> 00:53:47,713
Hey, Kristen, we should throw a
party to celebrate you leaving.
1015
00:53:47,714 --> 00:53:49,590
I mean, you getting into Stanford.
1016
00:53:49,591 --> 00:53:52,843
- Yay! Party!
- Exactly.
1017
00:53:52,844 --> 00:53:54,929
I can smell her cooter from here.
1018
00:53:54,930 --> 00:53:57,222
What the hell are you up to?
1019
00:53:57,223 --> 00:54:00,434
Nothing. Steven can invite all
his muscle freaks from the gym.
1020
00:54:00,435 --> 00:54:03,562
I guess we could raid Mom's
secret alcohol stash.
1021
00:54:03,563 --> 00:54:05,439
Oh, her brain would explode.
1022
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:07,441
We'd be helping with
her road to recovery.
1023
00:54:07,442 --> 00:54:09,895
I'm only thinking of her.
Pfft! Steven!
1024
00:54:12,989 --> 00:54:14,907
Is this gonna work?
1025
00:54:14,908 --> 00:54:17,159
You don't think your
sister is gonna be pissed
1026
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:19,703
that you gave her children's
chewables instead of ecstasy?
1027
00:54:19,704 --> 00:54:21,747
She'll be way too wasted to notice.
1028
00:54:21,748 --> 00:54:24,500
Besides, she said she'd only
do it if we gave her 10 pills
1029
00:54:24,501 --> 00:54:27,086
and I only have two left.
1030
00:54:28,213 --> 00:54:32,509
They even fucked with her land.
She's gonna go fucking crazy.
1031
00:54:33,510 --> 00:54:36,053
We need to get them
to start mingling
1032
00:54:36,054 --> 00:54:38,097
or I'm never gonna
make 1,000 bucks.
1033
00:54:38,098 --> 00:54:40,474
Hi, everyone.
1034
00:54:40,475 --> 00:54:44,396
Billy tells me you guys
are having a party.
1035
00:54:45,814 --> 00:54:48,267
That sounds like a lot of fun.
1036
00:54:51,277 --> 00:54:52,820
Am I invited?
1037
00:54:52,821 --> 00:54:55,990
As long as you don't tell Mom.
1038
00:54:55,991 --> 00:54:59,070
Tell her what?
1039
00:55:00,286 --> 00:55:05,249
And, uh, honey? I owe you
a bottle of Tylenol.
1040
00:55:05,250 --> 00:55:06,997
I took the last two.
1041
00:55:10,338 --> 00:55:12,256
- Drinks?
- Oh, yeah.
1042
00:55:12,257 --> 00:55:14,925
It's a strip club, Billy.
You don't invite your mother.
1043
00:55:14,926 --> 00:55:16,593
Mrs Bender?
1044
00:55:16,594 --> 00:55:18,721
Mrs Bender.
1045
00:55:18,722 --> 00:55:19,763
Huh!
1046
00:55:19,764 --> 00:55:21,890
- I'm not wearing any panties.
- Uhhh.
1047
00:55:21,891 --> 00:55:24,018
Mrs Bender, Billy and everyone
are in the other room.
1048
00:55:24,019 --> 00:55:28,188
- Oh! I like you so much! Whoo!
- Mrs Bender, Mrs Bender.
1049
00:55:28,189 --> 00:55:31,142
- Oh, you're so sexy.
- No, no, no.
1050
00:55:33,903 --> 00:55:35,821
Whoo!
1051
00:55:35,822 --> 00:55:39,950
Shh! Be quiet. Everybody's
in the other room. OK? Billy...
1052
00:55:39,951 --> 00:55:41,577
Shhh!
1053
00:55:41,578 --> 00:55:43,245
Whoo, yeah!
1054
00:55:43,246 --> 00:55:46,623
Oh, this feels kind of good.
Oh, it feels really good.
1055
00:55:46,624 --> 00:55:48,667
Oh! Ohhh!
1056
00:55:48,668 --> 00:55:52,504
Oh, I love this dishwasher. Yeah!
1057
00:55:52,505 --> 00:55:54,173
Oh! Mr Bender is pulling up.
1058
00:55:54,174 --> 00:55:56,341
- Fuck him.
- Great idea. Why don't you?
1059
00:55:56,342 --> 00:55:58,093
- I want you.
- Oh, no. No.
1060
00:55:58,094 --> 00:56:01,930
I want you so bad. I do, I do.
1061
00:56:01,931 --> 00:56:05,476
Ah! This is what I'm talking about.
1062
00:56:05,477 --> 00:56:06,894
No, no, no.
1063
00:56:06,895 --> 00:56:09,521
This could be good.
It's gonna be good.
1064
00:56:09,522 --> 00:56:12,524
- Oh, my God.
- Oh!
1065
00:56:12,525 --> 00:56:15,611
This is so disturbing.
1066
00:56:15,612 --> 00:56:18,489
Oh, Ricky! Oh! Ricky!
1067
00:56:18,490 --> 00:56:21,116
What the...?
1068
00:56:21,117 --> 00:56:23,035
From the look on Billy's face,
1069
00:56:23,036 --> 00:56:26,580
he had apparently never seen his mother
masturbating on the kitchen floor before.
1070
00:56:26,581 --> 00:56:28,373
What are you doing to my mom?
1071
00:56:28,374 --> 00:56:29,958
- Ricky!
- Nothing!
1072
00:56:29,959 --> 00:56:32,044
I wasn't doing it. She
was doing it by herself.
1073
00:56:32,045 --> 00:56:33,587
She was just... she was just...
1074
00:56:33,588 --> 00:56:35,172
I feel so good!
1075
00:56:35,173 --> 00:56:37,132
OK. OK.
1076
00:56:37,133 --> 00:56:39,131
- Momma?
- So happy to see you.
1077
00:56:40,595 --> 00:56:43,055
She's acting kind of weird, Rick.
1078
00:56:43,056 --> 00:56:46,266
Hell, no, that's a mean thing
to say about your mom.
1079
00:56:46,267 --> 00:56:48,060
Can you put her in Lucy's room?
1080
00:56:48,061 --> 00:56:50,521
And let her lie down.
She's just, you know...
1081
00:56:50,522 --> 00:56:52,731
Will you come? Please?
1082
00:56:52,732 --> 00:56:55,234
She hasn't bitten me since I
was 10. That's kind of weird.
1083
00:56:55,235 --> 00:56:57,653
I love you. I love you so much.
1084
00:56:57,654 --> 00:56:59,780
I love you too, Momma.
Here, here...
1085
00:56:59,781 --> 00:57:01,904
- I love Tylenol.
- No, no, no.
1086
00:57:05,245 --> 00:57:07,704
- I'm fucking busy here!
- Jimmy, it's Rick.
1087
00:57:07,705 --> 00:57:09,706
I need your advice on
something drug-related.
1088
00:57:09,707 --> 00:57:12,376
- Shoot.
- This chick downed two E tabs.
1089
00:57:12,377 --> 00:57:14,921
Now she doesn't look so good.
Is she gonna be OK?
1090
00:57:15,922 --> 00:57:17,881
- Is she hot?
- Uh, yeah.
1091
00:57:17,882 --> 00:57:19,550
What does that have
to do with anything?
1092
00:57:19,551 --> 00:57:21,298
Why are you asking me that?
1093
00:57:22,595 --> 00:57:24,805
- I'll be right over.
- OK, thank God.
1094
00:57:24,806 --> 00:57:26,849
You got any lube?
1095
00:57:56,087 --> 00:58:00,132
Thank you. Come again.
Not on the furniture.
1096
00:58:00,133 --> 00:58:02,259
- Where's the bitch at?
- Oh.
1097
00:58:02,260 --> 00:58:04,219
It's Billy's mom. Are
you sure you can help?
1098
00:58:04,220 --> 00:58:06,263
Trust me, I used to be a doctor.
1099
00:58:06,264 --> 00:58:08,307
What the fuck is going on in here?
1100
00:58:08,308 --> 00:58:10,431
Oh...
1101
00:58:11,352 --> 00:58:15,056
- You know Kristen?
- I will totally not gag.
1102
00:58:27,327 --> 00:58:28,574
Rick?
1103
00:58:30,788 --> 00:58:32,998
Hey, Nina, what brings you by?
1104
00:58:32,999 --> 00:58:34,666
Hey, I was just wondering
1105
00:58:34,667 --> 00:58:36,210
if everything worked
out with the car.
1106
00:58:36,211 --> 00:58:38,295
Yeah, it was all
just a crazy mix-up.
1107
00:58:38,296 --> 00:58:41,506
Well, good. I, um...
I was worried about you.
1108
00:58:41,507 --> 00:58:43,217
You were worried about me?
1109
00:58:43,218 --> 00:58:45,636
Why are all these girls naked?
1110
00:58:45,637 --> 00:58:48,722
Yeah, it's weird,
right? I don't know.
1111
00:58:48,723 --> 00:58:50,891
Put that in my ass!
1112
00:58:50,892 --> 00:58:53,686
Maybe we should go somewhere
more quiet to talk, please?
1113
00:58:55,772 --> 00:58:59,233
When I pee... it burns.
1114
00:59:07,158 --> 00:59:11,536
- Where's Nina, dick breath?
- Uh, this is a private club.
1115
00:59:11,537 --> 00:59:13,622
Tell me where Nina is or
I'm calling the cops,
1116
00:59:13,623 --> 00:59:15,165
'cause I doubt that
this neighbourhood
1117
00:59:15,166 --> 00:59:17,251
is zoned for a strip club.
1118
00:59:17,252 --> 00:59:20,504
How about I give you
50% off a lap dance?
1119
00:59:20,505 --> 00:59:22,881
How about I shove another
broomstick up your ass?
1120
00:59:22,882 --> 00:59:24,925
How about I give you
a free lap dance?
1121
00:59:29,013 --> 00:59:31,014
I'll take that blonde over there.
1122
00:59:31,015 --> 00:59:33,392
She looks like a dick wrecker.
1123
00:59:33,393 --> 00:59:35,644
But after I come,
I'm coming for you,
1124
00:59:35,645 --> 00:59:37,646
and you better tell
me where Nina is.
1125
00:59:37,647 --> 00:59:40,440
- Freak!
- Oh! Dick.
1126
00:59:40,441 --> 00:59:43,360
I've never been to a
party like this before.
1127
00:59:43,361 --> 00:59:46,363
Yeah, me, neither. They're
Kristen's friends, really.
1128
00:59:46,364 --> 00:59:49,825
- It's kind of fun.
- Yeah?
1129
00:59:49,826 --> 00:59:55,499
Well, I guess, uh, life in my
family is just nonstop fun.
1130
00:59:57,458 --> 00:59:59,793
So are your parents ever around?
1131
00:59:59,794 --> 01:00:02,379
Rehab always evicts my mom
when her insurance runs out,
1132
01:00:02,380 --> 01:00:04,464
and my dad eventually
wants something,
1133
01:00:04,465 --> 01:00:07,214
so... he comes around.
1134
01:00:08,052 --> 01:00:10,345
My parents are always away too.
1135
01:00:10,346 --> 01:00:15,350
Chasing the latest shrine
or Virgin spotting.
1136
01:00:15,351 --> 01:00:19,980
They've been at it ever since
my little sister died.
1137
01:00:19,981 --> 01:00:22,524
Oh, I didn't know. I'm sorry.
1138
01:00:22,525 --> 01:00:25,695
Oh, no, it's... My parents
like to keep it quiet.
1139
01:00:26,779 --> 01:00:28,322
I go along with it
1140
01:00:28,323 --> 01:00:31,116
because I know at
the end of the day,
1141
01:00:31,117 --> 01:00:35,287
our parents are just as
scared and confused as we are
1142
01:00:35,288 --> 01:00:37,582
about everything.
1143
01:00:40,043 --> 01:00:47,127
Yeah, I never really thought
about mine like that.
1144
01:00:49,093 --> 01:00:51,136
Maybe you should.
1145
01:00:52,263 --> 01:00:53,847
Here, give me your hand.
1146
01:00:53,848 --> 01:00:56,142
- What?
- Hmm.
1147
01:00:57,018 --> 01:00:58,894
Hold still.
1148
01:00:58,895 --> 01:01:01,313
What are you drawing?
1149
01:01:01,314 --> 01:01:04,107
You'll see.
1150
01:01:04,108 --> 01:01:06,276
That's the Tau Cross.
1151
01:01:06,277 --> 01:01:09,363
It's the symbol of Saint
Francis of Assisi,
1152
01:01:09,364 --> 01:01:11,573
the patron of families.
1153
01:01:11,574 --> 01:01:14,448
Maybe it'll give you
better luck with yours.
1154
01:01:16,496 --> 01:01:18,573
You're really amazing,
you know that?
1155
01:01:27,090 --> 01:01:29,466
Here's a rock.
1156
01:01:29,467 --> 01:01:31,214
Oh.
1157
01:01:32,595 --> 01:01:34,468
Thank you.
1158
01:01:36,432 --> 01:01:37,974
It actually fell from the sky,
1159
01:01:37,975 --> 01:01:43,480
so it's kind of like
your own personal star.
1160
01:01:43,481 --> 01:01:45,228
And you can...
1161
01:01:46,317 --> 01:01:49,441
you can make as many
wishes as you want.
1162
01:01:53,491 --> 01:01:55,739
You know, you're not
so bad yourself.
1163
01:01:58,454 --> 01:02:00,789
Thank you.
1164
01:02:09,674 --> 01:02:11,216
Hmmm!
1165
01:02:11,217 --> 01:02:12,759
Hi, Ricky.
1166
01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:15,512
Hello, gorgeous.
1167
01:02:17,598 --> 01:02:20,350
Oh, I'm so happy you
came to see me.
1168
01:02:20,351 --> 01:02:22,227
Doctor's in the house.
1169
01:02:22,228 --> 01:02:24,312
Oh, fun, role playing.
1170
01:02:24,313 --> 01:02:27,232
I'm your new gynecologist.
1171
01:02:27,233 --> 01:02:29,359
I like it. I like to role play.
1172
01:02:29,360 --> 01:02:31,278
I'm here to check your ovaries.
1173
01:02:33,281 --> 01:02:35,574
Oh, you're not Ricky!
1174
01:02:35,575 --> 01:02:36,992
Just breathe.
1175
01:02:36,993 --> 01:02:39,161
Ohhhh!
1176
01:02:42,165 --> 01:02:44,207
Yeah, you like that?
1177
01:02:44,208 --> 01:02:47,002
Squeeze 'em! Squeeze 'em tighter.
1178
01:02:47,003 --> 01:02:49,671
- Mmm! Mmm!
- Harder! Harder!
1179
01:02:49,672 --> 01:02:54,259
Squeeze 'em hard. Like they're
small... Filipino children.
1180
01:02:54,260 --> 01:02:57,596
Squeeze 'em! Yeah.
1181
01:02:57,597 --> 01:02:59,931
Ohh!
1182
01:02:59,932 --> 01:03:01,975
You pervert!
1183
01:03:07,648 --> 01:03:09,191
Which one of you is Rick Stevens?
1184
01:03:09,192 --> 01:03:12,903
? But if it wasn't for
your misfortune... ?
1185
01:03:12,904 --> 01:03:15,655
- It's like a 'T'.
- A 'T'?
1186
01:03:15,656 --> 01:03:18,279
It happens to be my
favourite letter.
1187
01:03:19,285 --> 01:03:21,328
That's good.
1188
01:03:23,789 --> 01:03:27,000
What is going on in here,
you slutty, slutty little bitch?
1189
01:03:27,001 --> 01:03:29,961
- Uh, nothing, Mrs Stevens.
- She's not my mother.
1190
01:03:29,962 --> 01:03:31,713
She knew that.
1191
01:03:31,714 --> 01:03:34,549
I was waiting for you.
You never came.
1192
01:03:34,550 --> 01:03:37,469
- She's very pretty.
- She's obviously on drugs.
1193
01:03:37,470 --> 01:03:39,297
Which one of you is Rick Stevens?
1194
01:03:41,641 --> 01:03:44,476
What is this bullshit I've been
hearing through the grapevine
1195
01:03:44,477 --> 01:03:47,687
about you claiming you're the
top crime family in town?
1196
01:03:47,688 --> 01:03:50,315
- You're in a crime family?
- You're in a crime family?
1197
01:03:50,316 --> 01:03:51,858
And what do you think you're doing
1198
01:03:51,859 --> 01:03:53,568
operating a strip joint
on our territory?
1199
01:03:53,569 --> 01:03:56,655
- Your territory? Who are you?
- The Malinauskas family.
1200
01:03:56,656 --> 01:03:58,198
Shit. Malinauskas.
1201
01:03:58,199 --> 01:03:59,866
Like any respectable organisation,
1202
01:03:59,867 --> 01:04:01,576
we have our ears in
the police force.
1203
01:04:01,577 --> 01:04:03,745
And they tell us there's
this Joseph Stevens
1204
01:04:03,746 --> 01:04:05,372
trying to hedge in on our business.
1205
01:04:05,373 --> 01:04:08,250
The problem is I never
even heard of him.
1206
01:04:08,251 --> 01:04:10,249
So you know what I think?
1207
01:04:12,713 --> 01:04:15,423
I think you're nobody at all.
1208
01:04:15,424 --> 01:04:16,967
He's nobody.
1209
01:04:23,808 --> 01:04:26,184
You're right. I'm a nobody.
1210
01:04:26,185 --> 01:04:31,064
And, uh, my father
is really a nobody.
1211
01:04:31,065 --> 01:04:33,483
And Mantas Bartuska
1212
01:04:33,484 --> 01:04:36,695
wasn't found shot to death
in my mother's trunk.
1213
01:04:36,696 --> 01:04:40,574
You're saying your
father made big body?
1214
01:04:40,575 --> 01:04:42,701
I'm not saying anything.
1215
01:04:42,702 --> 01:04:48,373
I'm not saying my father
offed 152 people in Jersey.
1216
01:04:48,374 --> 01:04:50,333
And I'm definitely not saying
1217
01:04:50,334 --> 01:04:52,794
we're in the witness
protection program.
1218
01:04:52,795 --> 01:04:56,339
So you're in a crime family and
the witness protection program?
1219
01:04:56,340 --> 01:04:59,134
And you're having relations
with a woman this old?
1220
01:04:59,135 --> 01:05:01,928
Old? That is so mean.
1221
01:05:01,929 --> 01:05:04,097
I can't believe I
almost kissed you.
1222
01:05:04,098 --> 01:05:05,640
- Whore! Come back!
- Nina.
1223
01:05:05,641 --> 01:05:07,267
- Please wait.
- Not so fast.
1224
01:05:07,268 --> 01:05:09,846
I wanna have a little
conversation with your father.
1225
01:05:10,813 --> 01:05:12,355
Later.
1226
01:05:12,356 --> 01:05:14,941
Nina, Nina, Nina!
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1227
01:05:14,942 --> 01:05:17,485
You are not the type of person
1228
01:05:17,486 --> 01:05:19,571
I wish to associate
with, Rick Stevens.
1229
01:05:19,572 --> 01:05:21,698
- Can't you just let me...
- So, you're Rick, huh?
1230
01:05:21,699 --> 01:05:24,200
- Yes.
- Karlis has a message for you.
1231
01:05:24,201 --> 01:05:26,369
He said tomorrow's Arbor Day,
1232
01:05:26,370 --> 01:05:28,788
so unless you plough
that chick by midnight,
1233
01:05:28,789 --> 01:05:31,082
you better have the
1,000 bucks you owe him
1234
01:05:31,083 --> 01:05:33,536
or else he's gonna be
really fucking mad.
1235
01:05:36,547 --> 01:05:38,506
You bet that you would
'plough' somebody?
1236
01:05:38,507 --> 01:05:39,549
No...
1237
01:05:39,550 --> 01:05:41,217
Who else were you planning
on sleeping with?
1238
01:05:41,218 --> 01:05:43,011
You!
1239
01:05:43,012 --> 01:05:45,639
I mean, you.
1240
01:05:45,640 --> 01:05:47,515
You... ass face!
1241
01:05:47,516 --> 01:05:50,310
- Oh!
- Jeez...
1242
01:05:50,311 --> 01:05:52,270
You OK, buddy?
1243
01:05:55,024 --> 01:05:56,941
Ho! I was just a guest at a party.
1244
01:05:56,942 --> 01:05:59,319
I want to talk to my lawyer.
Annette Stratton-Osborne.
1245
01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:00,862
Mr Stevens! Mr Stevens!
1246
01:06:00,863 --> 01:06:02,489
Officer, there's been a
huge misunderstanding.
1247
01:06:02,490 --> 01:06:03,990
- A misunderstanding?
- Make some room here.
1248
01:06:03,991 --> 01:06:06,284
- Right. You're coming downtown.
- Just calm down, kids.
1249
01:06:06,285 --> 01:06:08,203
- What are you doing?
- Ma'am, keep your panties on.
1250
01:06:08,204 --> 01:06:09,329
Nina, Nina...
1251
01:06:09,330 --> 01:06:11,831
Mr Stevens, Brian Savage,
Channel 9, 'Eyewitness News'.
1252
01:06:11,832 --> 01:06:14,709
Mr Stevens, is it true
the melee here tonight
1253
01:06:14,710 --> 01:06:17,087
is the result of crime
family rivalries?
1254
01:06:17,088 --> 01:06:19,714
I'm Tina Johnson, investigative
reporter with Channel 5.
1255
01:06:19,715 --> 01:06:22,676
Mr Stevens, I would love to
get an exclusive interview.
1256
01:06:22,677 --> 01:06:27,097
I promise I will make it
extremely worth your while.
1257
01:06:27,098 --> 01:06:30,302
Whore!
1258
01:06:32,978 --> 01:06:36,022
- I love you! I love you!
- He's mine!
1259
01:06:36,023 --> 01:06:37,857
Alright, calm down!
Everybody, you have to...
1260
01:06:37,858 --> 01:06:40,568
OK, I know this is
bad, but... again.
1261
01:06:40,569 --> 01:06:42,821
Again. Again.
1262
01:06:42,822 --> 01:06:44,948
Can we get the patrol here, please?
1263
01:06:44,949 --> 01:06:46,491
Little jackass!
1264
01:06:46,492 --> 01:06:48,201
Hey, cunt, thanks for
stealing my story.
1265
01:06:48,202 --> 01:06:49,536
Kristen, you're gonna get arrested.
1266
01:06:49,537 --> 01:06:51,287
Hey, cock cop,
1267
01:06:51,288 --> 01:06:53,411
this is for stealing Nina.
1268
01:06:55,292 --> 01:06:56,835
Oh, shit.
1269
01:06:56,836 --> 01:06:58,670
You fucking Oompa-Loompa.
1270
01:06:58,671 --> 01:07:00,588
You stole my story!
1271
01:07:00,589 --> 01:07:02,507
Now there's going to
be a quid pro quo.
1272
01:07:02,508 --> 01:07:04,836
- That's live.
- Everybody freeze!
1273
01:07:15,438 --> 01:07:16,981
This is pretty.
1274
01:07:19,150 --> 01:07:21,227
We're gonna need some backup.
1275
01:07:26,824 --> 01:07:30,869
I'm gonna trust you with this.
This is a Timex there.
1276
01:07:30,870 --> 01:07:33,913
I'm gluten-free, so I can't...
1277
01:07:36,459 --> 01:07:40,795
I can't have any bread unless
it's, like, a rice flour.
1278
01:07:40,796 --> 01:07:43,673
- Principal Poole?
- Rick.
1279
01:07:43,674 --> 01:07:45,925
Officer, I got an alibi right here.
1280
01:07:45,926 --> 01:07:50,221
Tell them I didn't know anything about
the camera in the girls locker room.
1281
01:07:50,222 --> 01:07:53,433
I've never seen this
man before in my life.
1282
01:07:53,434 --> 01:07:55,978
We had a deal.
1283
01:07:58,314 --> 01:08:01,983
I want to talk to my lawyer,
Annette Stratton-Osborne.
1284
01:08:01,984 --> 01:08:04,437
Come on, Pee-wee.
1285
01:08:06,906 --> 01:08:09,199
Hi, Jimmy.
1286
01:08:09,200 --> 01:08:12,202
Number one, did you
know that Billy's mom
1287
01:08:12,203 --> 01:08:13,828
shaves her beef curtains?
1288
01:08:13,829 --> 01:08:15,914
- I did know that.
- Number two.
1289
01:08:15,915 --> 01:08:19,626
Some trash bag cop planted a
couple of grams of coke on me.
1290
01:08:19,627 --> 01:08:21,419
You believe that shit?
1291
01:08:21,420 --> 01:08:23,338
I find that very hard to believe.
1292
01:08:23,339 --> 01:08:25,340
I can't be in here.
1293
01:08:25,341 --> 01:08:27,926
My face, this bod...
You've seen my ass.
1294
01:08:27,927 --> 01:08:31,387
Three, I need you to
contact my attorney.
1295
01:08:31,388 --> 01:08:33,681
Beautiful tits, Annette St...
1296
01:08:33,682 --> 01:08:35,429
Stratton-Osborne, got it.
1297
01:08:39,188 --> 01:08:41,314
Kristen, Kristen, don't cry.
1298
01:08:41,315 --> 01:08:43,233
I used the lap-dancing
money to bail you out...
1299
01:08:43,234 --> 01:08:44,776
you'll be free within the hour.
1300
01:08:44,777 --> 01:08:46,653
I have a criminal record.
1301
01:08:46,654 --> 01:08:48,696
Lots of people have
criminal records.
1302
01:08:48,697 --> 01:08:51,282
Stanford is going to
rescind my acceptance.
1303
01:08:51,283 --> 01:08:53,451
That was my last shot.
1304
01:08:54,662 --> 01:08:58,116
- I'll figure something out, OK?
- Great, great.
1305
01:09:02,461 --> 01:09:04,504
You motherfucker!
1306
01:09:04,505 --> 01:09:07,090
Get the fuck over here!
Get the fuck over here!
1307
01:09:07,091 --> 01:09:09,008
- I swear to God...
- It was good seeing you.
1308
01:09:09,009 --> 01:09:11,382
- Good to see you too, fuckhead.
- Yeah, great, yeah.
1309
01:09:12,888 --> 01:09:14,430
Fuck!
1310
01:09:17,893 --> 01:09:22,689
- Billy, hey, Billy.
- Huh? Oh! Oh! Rick.
1311
01:09:22,690 --> 01:09:24,649
Sorry to wake you.
This is crazy, huh?
1312
01:09:24,650 --> 01:09:26,734
They got me on a pandering rap.
1313
01:09:26,735 --> 01:09:29,195
I don't even know what
'pandering' means.
1314
01:09:29,196 --> 01:09:32,031
Look, you gotta use the money
that I collected at the party
1315
01:09:32,032 --> 01:09:33,908
to bail me out, OK?
1316
01:09:33,909 --> 01:09:35,785
There's none left.
1317
01:09:35,786 --> 01:09:37,912
- What do you mean?
- There's no money left.
1318
01:09:37,913 --> 01:09:40,081
We collected a whole
shoebox full of money.
1319
01:09:40,082 --> 01:09:42,166
- I had to bail my sister out.
- What about me?
1320
01:09:42,167 --> 01:09:44,168
I figured your mom
could bail you out.
1321
01:09:44,169 --> 01:09:46,921
- My mom's in jail, Rick.
- Didn't even think about that.
1322
01:09:46,922 --> 01:09:48,798
Well, at least this nice man
1323
01:09:48,799 --> 01:09:51,092
offered to give me a cavity search,
1324
01:09:51,093 --> 01:09:53,011
which would save me a
trip to the dentist.
1325
01:09:53,012 --> 01:09:54,679
You know how much I
hate the dentist.
1326
01:09:54,680 --> 01:09:57,258
Oh, God, Billy, stay strong.
1327
01:10:05,274 --> 01:10:07,226
Hi.
1328
01:10:08,152 --> 01:10:10,320
Have you got in touch
with your parents yet?
1329
01:10:10,321 --> 01:10:14,324
They're in Dallas for
the Pro-life Gun Expo.
1330
01:10:14,325 --> 01:10:16,367
Is there anything I can do?
1331
01:10:16,368 --> 01:10:18,411
Yeah, you can...
1332
01:10:18,412 --> 01:10:20,660
go eff yourself.
1333
01:10:25,669 --> 01:10:27,795
I liked you,
1334
01:10:27,796 --> 01:10:31,375
despite the fact that you don't
have your future planned out.
1335
01:10:32,760 --> 01:10:36,214
Despite the fact that
your socks never match.
1336
01:10:38,307 --> 01:10:40,475
Despite the fact that your ringtone
1337
01:10:40,476 --> 01:10:42,435
is 'Nigga What, Nigga Who.'
1338
01:10:42,436 --> 01:10:44,479
It's my favourite song.
1339
01:10:44,480 --> 01:10:47,103
I liked you because I thought
that you were different.
1340
01:10:48,692 --> 01:10:50,568
And clearly I was wrong.
1341
01:10:50,569 --> 01:10:53,029
No, Nina, I am different. When
I'm with you, I'm different.
1342
01:10:53,030 --> 01:10:56,824
It's just everyone around me
keeps messing me up, you know?
1343
01:10:56,825 --> 01:10:59,327
And I'm in this... Like the
bet, that wasn't even my idea.
1344
01:10:59,328 --> 01:11:01,121
Will you grow up?
1345
01:11:02,039 --> 01:11:04,123
Take responsibility
for your actions
1346
01:11:04,124 --> 01:11:07,203
and accept that some things
are 100% your fault.
1347
01:11:08,712 --> 01:11:11,923
Like the fact that I never
want to see you again.
1348
01:11:11,924 --> 01:11:13,876
Nina...
1349
01:11:15,386 --> 01:11:18,009
- Nina, I'm sorry.
- Will you go?
1350
01:11:19,556 --> 01:11:22,350
OK. Look, I...
1351
01:11:24,269 --> 01:11:26,312
Never mind.
1352
01:11:28,857 --> 01:11:32,026
? Looking from the window above
1353
01:11:32,027 --> 01:11:35,113
? It's like a story of love
1354
01:11:35,114 --> 01:11:38,366
? Can you hear me?
1355
01:11:38,367 --> 01:11:41,035
? Listen to the words that you say
1356
01:11:41,036 --> 01:11:44,038
? It's getting harder to stay
1357
01:11:44,039 --> 01:11:47,542
? When I see you... ?
Put that...
1358
01:11:47,543 --> 01:11:51,963
? All I needed was
the love you gave
1359
01:11:51,964 --> 01:11:55,967
? All I needed for another day
1360
01:11:55,968 --> 01:11:59,804
- ? And all I ever knew
- ? All I ever knew
1361
01:11:59,805 --> 01:12:01,882
? Only you... ?
1362
01:12:03,851 --> 01:12:05,935
The cops arrested Dad
1363
01:12:05,936 --> 01:12:09,022
because you told them that he
was a Lithuanian mob kingpin.
1364
01:12:09,023 --> 01:12:11,899
Mom's on her way back from
rehab and she is pissed.
1365
01:12:13,944 --> 01:12:15,987
Ugh! It's my turn.
1366
01:12:15,988 --> 01:12:17,989
This is Kristen Stevens.
1367
01:12:17,990 --> 01:12:21,117
No, I'm the Godfather's daughter.
1368
01:12:21,118 --> 01:12:24,620
I'll sell you my exclusive story,
1369
01:12:24,621 --> 01:12:27,790
but not for a cent under 1,500.
1370
01:12:27,791 --> 01:12:30,960
OK, thank you.
1371
01:12:30,961 --> 01:12:33,546
You just sold your
story for $1,500?
1372
01:12:33,547 --> 01:12:38,384
This time. I've already sold
it for 1,000 and 1,200.
1373
01:12:38,385 --> 01:12:40,720
- You don't even have a story.
- You don't know that.
1374
01:12:40,721 --> 01:12:43,973
Ugh! It's my turn, twat!
1375
01:12:43,974 --> 01:12:46,142
If it wasn't for me, Dad
wouldn't have been arrested.
1376
01:12:46,143 --> 01:12:47,685
Stevens Crime Syndicate.
1377
01:12:47,686 --> 01:12:49,395
Why are you answering
the phone like that?
1378
01:12:49,396 --> 01:12:52,065
- Hey, Dad.
- Don't you "Hey, Dad" me.
1379
01:12:52,066 --> 01:12:53,983
Do you have any idea
what I've been through?
1380
01:12:53,984 --> 01:12:56,736
I lost my job. I spent the
night in a Lithuanian jail.
1381
01:12:56,737 --> 01:12:58,821
I woke up to someone
masturbating in my face!
1382
01:12:58,822 --> 01:13:00,490
And I have crabs!
1383
01:13:00,491 --> 01:13:02,825
- Did you break omerta?
- Cut the crap, you shithead.
1384
01:13:02,826 --> 01:13:05,578
I think I know where all
these mafia rumours started
1385
01:13:05,579 --> 01:13:07,580
and you are in serious
trouble, young man.
1386
01:13:07,581 --> 01:13:10,374
Psshhht! You're breaking up.
You're breaking up. Psshhht!
1387
01:13:10,375 --> 01:13:13,252
- I'm at a payphone, you fuck!
- Going through a tunnel. Psht!
1388
01:13:13,253 --> 01:13:15,000
Don't you dare...
1389
01:13:16,381 --> 01:13:19,175
Dad says hi, by the way.
1390
01:13:29,561 --> 01:13:31,354
What the hell...?
1391
01:13:32,523 --> 01:13:34,396
What the hell...?!
1392
01:13:39,613 --> 01:13:41,405
Crabs. Great.
1393
01:13:41,406 --> 01:13:42,949
Buenos tardes.
1394
01:13:42,950 --> 01:13:44,700
Jesus Christ!
1395
01:13:44,701 --> 01:13:47,074
Can you use the front
door for once?
1396
01:13:50,499 --> 01:13:52,326
You're back.
1397
01:13:57,256 --> 01:13:58,798
I have no clue what you're saying.
1398
01:13:58,799 --> 01:14:02,301
I have a message for you from God.
1399
01:14:02,302 --> 01:14:04,137
Stop being such a screw-up.
1400
01:14:04,138 --> 01:14:06,430
Oh, and don't lose faith.
1401
01:14:06,431 --> 01:14:08,474
That's it? That's
all God has to say?
1402
01:14:08,475 --> 01:14:10,685
What did you want, the
winning lotto numbers?
1403
01:14:10,686 --> 01:14:14,147
It's Arbor Day.
Game's over, big boy.
1404
01:14:14,148 --> 01:14:15,975
Time to pay your debts.
1405
01:14:17,609 --> 01:14:20,358
What am I supposed to do?
How can I set things right?
1406
01:14:24,491 --> 01:14:26,993
Stop thinking with
your little head.
1407
01:14:26,994 --> 01:14:28,741
You were given two.
1408
01:14:35,127 --> 01:14:37,503
She always does that.
1409
01:14:37,504 --> 01:14:40,256
Which brings us back
to the beginning.
1410
01:14:40,257 --> 01:14:43,131
Not there. We already saw all that.
1411
01:14:47,347 --> 01:14:50,224
Stop! Now that we're back
to where we started,
1412
01:14:50,225 --> 01:14:54,055
your guess is as good as mine
as to how this fucker ends.
1413
01:15:07,075 --> 01:15:09,285
Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned.
1414
01:15:09,286 --> 01:15:11,913
It's been, like, two months
since my last confession.
1415
01:15:11,914 --> 01:15:13,998
- It's been three years, Rick.
- Really?
1416
01:15:13,999 --> 01:15:15,541
- Yeah.
- Whoa.
1417
01:15:15,542 --> 01:15:17,418
Tell me about you sins, child.
1418
01:15:17,419 --> 01:15:20,087
I've lied a few times.
1419
01:15:20,088 --> 01:15:21,923
Why did you lie?
1420
01:15:21,924 --> 01:15:24,008
I was trying to win the
heart of Nina Pennington,
1421
01:15:24,009 --> 01:15:25,551
but it didn't work.
1422
01:15:25,552 --> 01:15:28,596
Well, it's not a mortal sin.
Anything else?
1423
01:15:28,597 --> 01:15:30,514
I had sex a few times.
1424
01:15:30,515 --> 01:15:32,642
I'm gonna need names.
1425
01:15:32,643 --> 01:15:35,978
Well, first I almost got a blow job
1426
01:15:35,979 --> 01:15:38,397
from a stripper down at
the club named Cherysh.
1427
01:15:38,398 --> 01:15:40,399
That's a venial sin.
1428
01:15:40,400 --> 01:15:42,401
Serious nonetheless,
but not mortal.
1429
01:15:42,402 --> 01:15:44,779
And I've been having
sex kind of regularly
1430
01:15:44,780 --> 01:15:47,233
with... Mrs Bender.
1431
01:15:48,825 --> 01:15:50,785
- Pamela Bender?
- Yep.
1432
01:15:50,786 --> 01:15:52,536
Keith Bender's wife?
1433
01:15:52,537 --> 01:15:54,413
Your best friend Billy
Bender's mother?
1434
01:15:54,414 --> 01:15:57,625
- That one.
- You son of a bitch!
1435
01:15:57,626 --> 01:16:00,753
You're the dirty little
cocksucker that gave me crabs!
1436
01:16:00,754 --> 01:16:04,379
You're excommunicated.
Ex-fucking-communicated!
1437
01:16:05,300 --> 01:16:08,469
Well, that didn't go as
well as I had hoped.
1438
01:16:08,470 --> 01:16:10,471
I didn't get the chance
to tell Father Krumins
1439
01:16:10,472 --> 01:16:12,014
that the source of his crabs
1440
01:16:12,015 --> 01:16:14,559
was more likely a crack
whore from the Do-Me-Inn.
1441
01:16:26,154 --> 01:16:28,281
- Ricky.
- Mm-hm.
1442
01:16:28,282 --> 01:16:30,908
- Did you give me crabs?
- I think you gave them to me.
1443
01:16:30,909 --> 01:16:32,994
That is so funny.
1444
01:16:35,289 --> 01:16:37,373
Where's your mother?
1445
01:16:37,374 --> 01:16:40,334
Uh, well, she attempted suicide
1446
01:16:40,335 --> 01:16:42,295
and the ambulance driver
said she's probably dead.
1447
01:16:42,296 --> 01:16:44,630
Oh, my God. Are you sure?
1448
01:16:44,631 --> 01:16:46,465
She didn't have a
drink in her hand.
1449
01:16:46,466 --> 01:16:48,919
But she did leave this letter
blaming you for everything.
1450
01:16:50,262 --> 01:16:51,804
I called her last night?
1451
01:16:51,805 --> 01:16:54,140
I must've been much more
out of it than I thought.
1452
01:16:54,141 --> 01:16:55,850
I feel awful that I hurt my mother
1453
01:16:55,851 --> 01:16:57,852
by having sex with you, Mrs Bender,
1454
01:16:57,853 --> 01:17:00,229
so I promised God that I
wouldn't fuck you anymore
1455
01:17:00,230 --> 01:17:02,106
if he spares my mother's life.
1456
01:17:02,107 --> 01:17:04,900
Sounded a bit too
melodramatic, so I add...
1457
01:17:04,901 --> 01:17:08,487
- Do you want a cocktail?
- I've gotta get to the jail.
1458
01:17:08,488 --> 01:17:10,698
Make sure Billy hasn't
been raped or anything.
1459
01:17:10,699 --> 01:17:12,241
You didn't get him released yet?
1460
01:17:12,242 --> 01:17:14,118
I was tired.
1461
01:17:14,119 --> 01:17:16,871
I gotta go down to the hospital,
see if my mom's dead yet.
1462
01:17:16,872 --> 01:17:19,749
Will you call me as soon
as you know anything?
1463
01:17:19,750 --> 01:17:22,918
Because if she lives, I'll
rent us a room at the Hyatt.
1464
01:17:22,919 --> 01:17:25,504
Mrs Bender, I made a
promise to God and I...
1465
01:17:25,505 --> 01:17:27,465
What would you rather do,
1466
01:17:27,466 --> 01:17:29,800
explain to God how you
were momentarily weak
1467
01:17:29,801 --> 01:17:33,888
or explain to my husband, who
owns a store full of guns,
1468
01:17:33,889 --> 01:17:36,308
how he caught crabs?
1469
01:17:38,101 --> 01:17:40,269
I have to take responsibility
for my actions.
1470
01:17:40,270 --> 01:17:42,438
If I don't, somebody else might
try and kill themselves.
1471
01:17:42,439 --> 01:17:45,608
I had no idea that you
felt this way, Richard.
1472
01:17:45,609 --> 01:17:47,610
- Mrs Bender...
- I thought...
1473
01:17:47,611 --> 01:17:49,987
I thought that you
enjoyed our rendezvous.
1474
01:17:49,988 --> 01:17:53,324
I did, probably too much,
1475
01:17:53,325 --> 01:17:57,078
but you know how you said that
I should try something new?
1476
01:17:57,079 --> 01:17:59,121
- Mm-hm.
- You were right.
1477
01:17:59,122 --> 01:18:01,040
That's what I'm doing.
1478
01:18:01,041 --> 01:18:02,959
I'm gonna fix my family.
1479
01:18:09,091 --> 01:18:11,840
'Bye, Pamela. Thank
you for everything.
1480
01:18:17,140 --> 01:18:20,393
- I'll be right next door.
- OK. OK.
1481
01:18:20,394 --> 01:18:22,141
I have no plans tonight.
1482
01:18:29,194 --> 01:18:31,112
What are you doing here?
1483
01:18:31,113 --> 01:18:34,237
I was in the cafeteria. They
have bitchin' tater tots.
1484
01:18:35,492 --> 01:18:38,619
Aw, you look like hell.
1485
01:18:38,620 --> 01:18:40,913
It's my fault everything
is such a mess.
1486
01:18:40,914 --> 01:18:42,456
Nina won't speak to me.
1487
01:18:42,457 --> 01:18:44,291
My sister got thrown out of school.
1488
01:18:44,292 --> 01:18:46,085
Mom is probably dead.
1489
01:18:46,086 --> 01:18:47,670
Looks like we're finally
making some progress.
1490
01:18:47,671 --> 01:18:49,213
Progress?
1491
01:18:49,214 --> 01:18:51,298
For once, you're thinking about
somebody other than yourself.
1492
01:18:51,299 --> 01:18:53,467
Your mother would be so proud.
1493
01:19:06,982 --> 01:19:08,941
Where is she?
1494
01:19:08,942 --> 01:19:10,815
She dead, child.
1495
01:19:12,988 --> 01:19:14,822
What do you mean, dead?
1496
01:19:14,823 --> 01:19:16,991
Her heart stopped beating.
1497
01:19:16,992 --> 01:19:20,571
They took her down to the
furnace about 20 minutes ago.
1498
01:19:21,538 --> 01:19:24,665
But she can't be dead.
She's my mom.
1499
01:19:24,666 --> 01:19:27,415
Well, everybody gotta go sometime.
1500
01:19:29,546 --> 01:19:32,499
I'm sure she knew how
much you loved her.
1501
01:19:33,467 --> 01:19:35,886
Mothers always know.
1502
01:19:44,311 --> 01:19:46,434
I don't think she did.
1503
01:19:52,486 --> 01:19:55,613
She'll never know that
Kristen got into Stanford
1504
01:19:55,614 --> 01:19:59,074
or that Steven was gay.
1505
01:19:59,075 --> 01:20:01,573
I'm sure she did know that.
1506
01:20:03,205 --> 01:20:06,249
She'll be so pissed
that she was cremated.
1507
01:20:07,459 --> 01:20:09,957
You feed the dog like I asked?
1508
01:20:10,837 --> 01:20:13,256
I'm behind the curtain, stupid.
1509
01:20:17,469 --> 01:20:19,512
I heard you're the
genius that called 911
1510
01:20:19,513 --> 01:20:21,388
instead of letting me die in peace.
1511
01:20:21,389 --> 01:20:23,599
Oh, thank God.
1512
01:20:23,600 --> 01:20:26,727
Oh! At least you know
I'm opprobrious.
1513
01:20:26,728 --> 01:20:29,104
Did you bring me any vodka?
1514
01:20:29,105 --> 01:20:31,357
Have you cleaned out the
mini-bar already, Mom?
1515
01:20:31,358 --> 01:20:34,276
Listen, smart-ass, you're gonna
insist I hang around and live,
1516
01:20:34,277 --> 01:20:36,237
I'm gonna do it on my terms.
1517
01:20:36,238 --> 01:20:38,566
Honey, it's gonna take
more than that...
1518
01:20:41,368 --> 01:20:43,827
Do you know where I
could get some of that?
1519
01:20:43,828 --> 01:20:46,247
knock me out.
1520
01:20:46,248 --> 01:20:49,750
Four Vicodin and a big
bottle of Stoli might do it.
1521
01:20:49,751 --> 01:20:51,669
I'll be right back.
1522
01:20:53,380 --> 01:20:56,257
You know you're messing
everything up, right?
1523
01:20:56,258 --> 01:20:59,051
- What?
- Don't look so surprised.
1524
01:20:59,052 --> 01:21:00,594
I go through your trash.
1525
01:21:00,595 --> 01:21:02,555
I eavesdrop on your
phone conversations.
1526
01:21:02,556 --> 01:21:04,098
I know what you're up to.
1527
01:21:04,099 --> 01:21:06,058
I'll admit,
1528
01:21:06,059 --> 01:21:08,769
the you-fucking-Pam-Bender thing,
1529
01:21:08,770 --> 01:21:10,896
it caught me by surprise,
1530
01:21:10,897 --> 01:21:14,316
but I know more about you
1531
01:21:14,317 --> 01:21:16,235
than you think I do.
1532
01:21:16,236 --> 01:21:17,444
But...
1533
01:21:17,445 --> 01:21:19,780
Shut up and listen to your mother.
1534
01:21:19,781 --> 01:21:24,368
Nothing you've done
cannot be undone.
1535
01:21:24,369 --> 01:21:29,540
You go, you tell this Nina
Pennington how you really feel.
1536
01:21:29,541 --> 01:21:32,084
Well, she doesn't
want to talk to me.
1537
01:21:32,085 --> 01:21:34,253
I don't blame her. I was a douche.
1538
01:21:34,254 --> 01:21:39,133
You only get one chance, but... Oh!
1539
01:21:39,134 --> 01:21:41,218
What if I blew that chance?
1540
01:21:41,219 --> 01:21:44,555
Well, you can't make
her forgive you,
1541
01:21:44,556 --> 01:21:47,266
but you can do what it takes
1542
01:21:47,267 --> 01:21:49,977
to make things right with her.
1543
01:21:49,978 --> 01:21:53,603
Don't be like your
father... be a man.
1544
01:22:01,948 --> 01:22:04,199
It's like the first time
we've had a conversation
1545
01:22:04,200 --> 01:22:06,368
where you were cognisant.
1546
01:22:28,058 --> 01:22:32,561
- Alright, here we go.
- Seriously?
1547
01:22:32,562 --> 01:22:35,773
- Wait! Wait. Can we just...
- Too late.
1548
01:22:35,774 --> 01:22:38,275
Oh, cunt-licking,
motherfucking whore-cock!
1549
01:22:44,866 --> 01:22:47,493
I totally had you going.
1550
01:22:47,494 --> 01:22:49,036
- You're not gonna maim me?
- No.
1551
01:22:49,037 --> 01:22:51,372
Anyone who can make my
douche bag dad sweat
1552
01:22:51,373 --> 01:22:52,915
is alright by me.
1553
01:22:52,916 --> 01:22:55,334
Oh, thank you so much,
Karlis. Thank you.
1554
01:22:55,335 --> 01:22:57,836
I was an asshole to make
this bet in the first place.
1555
01:22:57,837 --> 01:23:00,047
And, oh, you can tell your family
1556
01:23:00,048 --> 01:23:02,466
that my dad's not a mob
boss... he's just a dick.
1557
01:23:02,467 --> 01:23:05,552
Well, I will let my dad think
otherwise for a while.
1558
01:23:05,553 --> 01:23:07,596
- We're good.
- Thank you.
1559
01:23:12,602 --> 01:23:14,349
OK, see you.
1560
01:23:19,401 --> 01:23:21,485
I know you must be super busy,
1561
01:23:21,486 --> 01:23:24,988
so I really appreciate you
taking the time to meet with me.
1562
01:23:24,989 --> 01:23:27,324
At the rate your family and
friends keep going to jail,
1563
01:23:27,325 --> 01:23:29,201
you should put me on a
permanent retainer.
1564
01:23:29,202 --> 01:23:31,286
It would be cheaper.
1565
01:23:31,287 --> 01:23:33,872
- Did you go to Stanford?
- Best four years of my life.
1566
01:23:33,873 --> 01:23:36,333
Mind you, I'm surprised
I can still walk
1567
01:23:36,334 --> 01:23:38,419
and that I don't have chlamydia.
1568
01:23:38,420 --> 01:23:41,380
Hey, what does that red
seal on the envelope mean?
1569
01:23:41,381 --> 01:23:43,757
If I told you, I'd
have to kill you.
1570
01:23:43,758 --> 01:23:45,926
No, seriously, what you
don't know can't hurt me.
1571
01:23:48,138 --> 01:23:50,931
Are you gonna be able to get
any of those charges dropped?
1572
01:23:50,932 --> 01:23:53,183
I take it you kind
of like this girl.
1573
01:23:53,184 --> 01:23:56,019
A lot, and she wants
nothing to do with me.
1574
01:23:56,020 --> 01:23:58,564
And seeing as I'm the one
that got her in this mess,
1575
01:23:58,565 --> 01:24:00,859
I want to get her out.
1576
01:24:01,985 --> 01:24:03,610
Alright, I'll do it for 2,000.
1577
01:24:03,611 --> 01:24:06,572
$2,000? I don't have that.
1578
01:24:06,573 --> 01:24:08,320
How much do you have?
1579
01:24:10,994 --> 01:24:12,828
Around $37.
1580
01:24:12,829 --> 01:24:14,913
But at least I still
have my pinkies.
1581
01:24:14,914 --> 01:24:19,460
Pinkies are overrated,
unless they're in the stink.
1582
01:24:19,461 --> 01:24:21,253
That can be the down payment,
1583
01:24:21,254 --> 01:24:23,839
and for the rest, I am looking
for a part-time file clerk.
1584
01:24:23,840 --> 01:24:27,676
You can work it off, or sell
a kidney. I know a guy.
1585
01:24:27,677 --> 01:24:30,505
- I guess I choose file clerk.
- Welcome to the firm.
1586
01:24:31,890 --> 01:24:34,016
Thanks for getting me out.
1587
01:24:34,017 --> 01:24:36,101
Well, Billy, you are my best friend
1588
01:24:36,102 --> 01:24:39,146
and I do feel somewhat responsible.
1589
01:24:39,147 --> 01:24:41,190
Hey, wait, how'd you get the money?
1590
01:24:41,191 --> 01:24:43,317
- He's my bitch now.
- Oh!
1591
01:24:43,318 --> 01:24:46,695
Speaking of bitches, Kevin
Carpenter is still in there.
1592
01:24:46,696 --> 01:24:48,238
How's he doing?
1593
01:24:48,239 --> 01:24:49,782
Let's just say it
wasn't a broomstick
1594
01:24:49,783 --> 01:24:51,701
that took his butt cherry.
1595
01:24:53,578 --> 01:24:56,330
Mom! Hey, it's me!
1596
01:24:56,331 --> 01:24:58,874
Hey! Hi!
1597
01:24:58,875 --> 01:25:00,876
Were you coming to get me out?
1598
01:25:00,877 --> 01:25:03,086
Yes, of course I was, darling.
1599
01:25:03,087 --> 01:25:05,380
Who are you? Shouldn't
you be wearing a bra?
1600
01:25:05,381 --> 01:25:06,924
I'm Rick's attorney,
1601
01:25:06,925 --> 01:25:08,842
and his new boss for
the next 20 years.
1602
01:25:08,843 --> 01:25:10,761
Billy, you could take a
lesson from your friend
1603
01:25:10,762 --> 01:25:12,304
and get a job yourself.
1604
01:25:12,305 --> 01:25:14,139
That's very responsible
of you, Richard.
1605
01:25:14,140 --> 01:25:16,683
Thanks. OK.
1606
01:25:16,684 --> 01:25:20,521
'Bye, Rick. Hey, Mom,
can we get Slurpees?
1607
01:25:20,522 --> 01:25:22,773
So, make sure to wear your
tight jeans on Monday.
1608
01:25:22,774 --> 01:25:25,193
Yeah, about that...
1609
01:25:26,569 --> 01:25:28,654
What's that?
1610
01:25:28,655 --> 01:25:31,281
Just a rather incriminating
letter to you
1611
01:25:31,282 --> 01:25:33,450
from Father Krumins.
1612
01:25:33,451 --> 01:25:37,704
You know, your friend, the
head of the Lithuanian mafia.
1613
01:25:37,705 --> 01:25:40,749
Are you blackmailing me?
1614
01:25:42,710 --> 01:25:45,379
No, I thought you
should have it back.
1615
01:25:45,380 --> 01:25:47,714
Thanks.
1616
01:25:47,715 --> 01:25:50,884
- And let's make it 10 years.
- Deal.
1617
01:25:50,885 --> 01:25:52,837
See you Monday.
1618
01:26:05,191 --> 01:26:08,151
At least 'Jugs' offered me
$10,000 for a pictorial.
1619
01:26:08,152 --> 01:26:10,279
You're going to hell
in a hand basket.
1620
01:26:10,280 --> 01:26:12,322
Well, she's going
to Stanford first.
1621
01:26:12,323 --> 01:26:14,199
What?
1622
01:26:14,200 --> 01:26:16,451
My boss is an alumni.
1623
01:26:16,452 --> 01:26:18,704
The dean owed her a
favour for some reason.
1624
01:26:18,705 --> 01:26:22,374
- You're not a dick!
- That's my girl.
1625
01:26:22,375 --> 01:26:24,209
That's a pretty big closet.
1626
01:26:24,210 --> 01:26:25,878
And it's time you came out of it.
1627
01:26:25,879 --> 01:26:27,421
What?
1628
01:26:27,422 --> 01:26:29,298
Now you can stop being
mean to everyone
1629
01:26:29,299 --> 01:26:30,841
and just be honest with yourself.
1630
01:26:30,842 --> 01:26:33,844
- And start dressing better.
- We won't love you any less.
1631
01:26:33,845 --> 01:26:36,680
- You knew?
- A mother always knows.
1632
01:26:36,681 --> 01:26:38,223
Besides, you work out your glutes,
1633
01:26:38,224 --> 01:26:39,933
like, five times a week.
1634
01:26:39,934 --> 01:26:42,269
- Here.
- What's this?
1635
01:26:42,270 --> 01:26:44,605
Your divorce papers. All you
have to do is sign them.
1636
01:26:44,606 --> 01:26:49,528
I don't know. I hate the
thought of being alone.
1637
01:26:52,488 --> 01:26:54,823
You're not.
1638
01:26:54,824 --> 01:26:58,243
Oh!
1639
01:26:58,244 --> 01:27:00,621
Ohh!
1640
01:27:00,622 --> 01:27:03,457
Butch.
1641
01:27:03,458 --> 01:27:06,543
Even though you didn't die,
1642
01:27:06,544 --> 01:27:08,629
we still remembered
to feed the dog.
1643
01:27:08,630 --> 01:27:11,174
And you've always got us, Mom.
1644
01:27:14,302 --> 01:27:16,095
I need a drink.
1645
01:27:16,971 --> 01:27:18,597
? Oh, Superman
1646
01:27:18,598 --> 01:27:22,643
? I don't wanna hit the ground
I don't wanna hit the ground
1647
01:27:22,644 --> 01:27:25,812
? I don't wanna hit the ground
1648
01:27:25,813 --> 01:27:28,106
? Oh, Superman
1649
01:27:28,107 --> 01:27:31,109
? Oh, Superman... ?
1650
01:27:34,864 --> 01:27:37,032
Damn it, watch where
you're walking.
1651
01:27:37,033 --> 01:27:39,117
Are you OK?
1652
01:27:53,591 --> 01:27:56,677
- Nina, hi. I'm sorry.
- Rick...
1653
01:27:56,678 --> 01:28:00,013
Before you tell me to go away,
just let me tell you one thing.
1654
01:28:00,014 --> 01:28:02,099
Look, I know I messed
everything up,
1655
01:28:02,100 --> 01:28:06,603
I...I have a lot of insecurities
1656
01:28:06,604 --> 01:28:09,356
and I do really stupid
things sometimes.
1657
01:28:09,357 --> 01:28:12,026
Well, a lot of the time.
1658
01:28:13,111 --> 01:28:15,487
All I ever wanted was
for you to like me,
1659
01:28:15,488 --> 01:28:19,241
and think that I was cool...
which I'm not.
1660
01:28:19,242 --> 01:28:22,491
I let a lot of stuff get in
the way of the fact that...
1661
01:28:23,913 --> 01:28:25,706
I really like you so much.
1662
01:28:25,707 --> 01:28:27,454
Rick...
1663
01:28:29,043 --> 01:28:31,336
I do think that you're cool.
1664
01:28:31,337 --> 01:28:33,380
You do?
1665
01:28:33,381 --> 01:28:36,133
You're right, though...
you are a complete idiot.
1666
01:28:36,134 --> 01:28:39,258
But I like you.
1667
01:28:40,596 --> 01:28:43,140
And I heard what you
said to your family
1668
01:28:43,141 --> 01:28:45,851
and I thought that it
showed a lot of character.
1669
01:28:45,852 --> 01:28:48,770
Well, I like to help people.
1670
01:28:50,398 --> 01:28:51,940
Actually I do. It's
not even bullshit.
1671
01:28:51,941 --> 01:28:54,151
It really does...
it does feel good.
1672
01:28:54,152 --> 01:28:58,027
Then I guess we have a lot
more in common than I thought.
1673
01:29:00,241 --> 01:29:01,988
Go for it.
1674
01:29:06,873 --> 01:29:09,458
? I don't wanna hit the ground
1675
01:29:09,459 --> 01:29:12,002
? I don't wanna hit the ground
1676
01:29:12,003 --> 01:29:14,171
? I don't wanna hit the ground
1677
01:29:14,172 --> 01:29:20,886
? Oh, Superman
Oh, Superman
1678
01:29:20,887 --> 01:29:23,805
? I don't wanna hit the ground
1679
01:29:23,806 --> 01:29:25,724
? I don't wanna hit the ground... ?
1680
01:29:25,725 --> 01:29:28,101
And we all lived
happily ever after.
1681
01:29:28,102 --> 01:29:30,604
Well, some more than others.
1682
01:29:30,605 --> 01:29:32,439
Annette Stratton-Osborne
welcomes you
1683
01:29:32,440 --> 01:29:36,610
to the grand re-opening
of Pomme-teri,
1684
01:29:36,611 --> 01:29:40,030
where the men are hot
and everything's legal.
1685
01:29:40,031 --> 01:29:43,408
- I'm gay!
- I gathered.
1686
01:29:43,409 --> 01:29:45,744
Alright, ladies, next
up we have a new guy.
1687
01:29:45,745 --> 01:29:49,164
Please give it up for Sparky!
1688
01:29:49,165 --> 01:29:52,000
Whoo! He's young, but he's legal.
1689
01:29:52,001 --> 01:29:56,338
Sparky likes long walks
on the beach and kittens.
1690
01:29:56,339 --> 01:29:59,341
You're Principal Poole's secretary.
1691
01:29:59,342 --> 01:30:01,294
And a finger up his ass.
1692
01:30:02,553 --> 01:30:04,805
- Show us some cock!
- No, no, no.
1693
01:30:04,806 --> 01:30:07,015
Oh, no, baby, get back there.
1694
01:30:07,016 --> 01:30:11,186
Sparky! Sparky! Sparky!
1695
01:30:11,187 --> 01:30:14,272
- Not with the plunger.
- Sparky! Sparky! Sparky!
1696
01:30:14,273 --> 01:30:16,483
Oh, Billy Bender!
1697
01:30:16,484 --> 01:30:19,486
Mom? What are you doing here?
1698
01:30:19,487 --> 01:30:22,239
I, uh, my car... broke down.
1699
01:30:22,240 --> 01:30:24,032
- Here's another, Pam.
- Oh, thank you so much.
1700
01:30:24,033 --> 01:30:26,118
You told me to get a job.
1701
01:30:26,119 --> 01:30:29,579
A job where you keep your
clothes on. Look at you.
1702
01:30:29,580 --> 01:30:31,706
Look at you.
1703
01:30:31,707 --> 01:30:33,583
Ladies, I made him do push-ups
1704
01:30:33,584 --> 01:30:35,377
every single day for
the last seven years.
1705
01:30:35,378 --> 01:30:36,920
Huh? Huh?
1706
01:30:36,921 --> 01:30:39,005
Ma'am, you're gonna
have to sit down.
1707
01:30:39,006 --> 01:30:42,509
- Young man, is that a boner?
- Oh!
1708
01:30:42,510 --> 01:30:45,303
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
1709
01:30:45,304 --> 01:30:48,056
My mom... A boner...
1710
01:30:48,057 --> 01:30:50,601
Oh, my God.
1711
01:30:51,561 --> 01:30:54,014
I'm gonna be so grounded.
1712
01:30:58,234 --> 01:30:59,985
Mom?
1713
01:30:59,986 --> 01:31:02,654
I'm not your mother. I am a saint.
1714
01:31:02,655 --> 01:31:05,657
And you, my dear, have been
a very naughty little boy.
1715
01:31:05,658 --> 01:31:07,325
- If it's about the stripping...
- No.
1716
01:31:07,326 --> 01:31:09,369
No, I'm more concerned
with those library books.
1717
01:31:09,370 --> 01:31:11,496
They're very late
1718
01:31:11,497 --> 01:31:14,916
and you're never gonna
get those pages unstuck.
1719
01:31:14,917 --> 01:31:16,835
Ohhh!
1720
01:31:16,836 --> 01:31:18,587
Billy Bender!
1721
01:31:20,131 --> 01:31:22,632
? Headed for the open door
1722
01:31:22,633 --> 01:31:26,178
? Tell me what you're waiting for
1723
01:31:26,179 --> 01:31:30,098
? Look across the great divide
1724
01:31:30,099 --> 01:31:34,895
? Soon they're gonna hear the
sound, the sound, the sound
1725
01:31:34,896 --> 01:31:38,148
? When we come running
1726
01:31:38,149 --> 01:31:41,610
? Never go where we belong
1727
01:31:41,611 --> 01:31:45,655
? Echoes in the dead of night
1728
01:31:45,656 --> 01:31:50,118
? Soon they're gonna know the
sound, the sound, the sound
1729
01:31:50,119 --> 01:31:52,662
- ? When we come running
- ? Whoa-oh
1730
01:31:52,663 --> 01:31:54,915
? Oh-oh-oh
1731
01:31:54,916 --> 01:31:58,585
? Whoa-oh, oh-oh-oh
1732
01:31:58,586 --> 01:32:01,046
? Oh-oh
1733
01:32:01,047 --> 01:32:02,881
? Oh-oh-oh
1734
01:32:02,882 --> 01:32:05,550
? The sound, the sound, the sound
1735
01:32:05,551 --> 01:32:08,386
? When we come running
1736
01:32:08,387 --> 01:32:12,098
? Never go where we belong
1737
01:32:12,099 --> 01:32:16,394
? Echoes in the dead of night
1738
01:32:16,395 --> 01:32:20,857
? Soon they're gonna know
the sound, the sound, the sound
1739
01:32:20,858 --> 01:32:24,778
- ? When we come running
- ? Whoa-oh, oh-oh-oh... ?
1740
01:32:24,779 --> 01:32:26,821
Scene 67, take one.
1741
01:32:26,822 --> 01:32:28,907
Mark.
1742
01:32:28,908 --> 01:32:32,160
OK, we found the body
of Mantas Barukas.
1743
01:32:32,161 --> 01:32:33,828
Is that the right way to say it?
1744
01:32:33,829 --> 01:32:35,372
Bartuska.
1745
01:32:35,373 --> 01:32:39,042
Mantas Bartuskas...
Bartukas... Bartukas...
1746
01:32:39,043 --> 01:32:40,585
Bartukas... Bartukas...
1747
01:32:40,586 --> 01:32:43,171
How did the body of
Mant... Bartukas...
1748
01:32:43,172 --> 01:32:45,924
I know you have something to
give to me that you want to,
1749
01:32:45,925 --> 01:32:48,468
but right now you're in fear.
1750
01:32:48,469 --> 01:32:50,011
I think you're in fear.
1751
01:32:50,012 --> 01:32:52,555
Oh, you do? Think I'm in fear?
You think I'm in fear?
1752
01:32:54,433 --> 01:32:56,476
That's where you belong,
right on your fucking ass!
1753
01:32:56,477 --> 01:32:58,436
I said the body of
Mantas Bartukas...
1754
01:32:58,437 --> 01:32:59,729
Mantas Bartuskas...
1755
01:32:59,730 --> 01:33:01,648
Mr Bartukas... Mantas Barukas...
1756
01:33:01,649 --> 01:33:03,525
How did Mantas Bartuskus's body
1757
01:33:03,526 --> 01:33:05,443
end up in the trunk
of your mother's car?
1758
01:33:05,444 --> 01:33:07,862
- What?
- Clearly you didn't kill him.
1759
01:33:07,863 --> 01:33:09,990
I mean, just looking at
you, if you sneezed,
1760
01:33:09,991 --> 01:33:12,867
you would blow your balls
out of your scrotum.
1761
01:33:12,868 --> 01:33:15,245
- That's mean.
- It's not mean.
1762
01:33:15,246 --> 01:33:17,372
It's a way to get a sex
change without trying.
1763
01:33:17,373 --> 01:33:18,915
And cut.
1764
01:33:18,916 --> 01:33:22,210
? A dirty face of gold
1765
01:33:22,211 --> 01:33:24,796
? Behind that crooked line
1766
01:33:24,797 --> 01:33:29,092
? Where you never knew you'd go
1767
01:33:29,093 --> 01:33:32,846
? Headed for the open door
1768
01:33:32,847 --> 01:33:36,683
? Tell me what you're waiting for
1769
01:33:36,684 --> 01:33:40,228
? Look across the great divide
1770
01:33:40,229 --> 01:33:44,858
? Soon they're gonna hear the
sound, the sound, the sound
1771
01:33:44,859 --> 01:33:48,111
? When we come running
1772
01:33:48,112 --> 01:33:51,573
? Never go where we belong
1773
01:33:51,574 --> 01:33:55,618
? Echoes in the dead of night
1774
01:33:55,619 --> 01:34:00,081
? Soon they're gonna know the
sound, the sound, the sound
1775
01:34:00,082 --> 01:34:02,625
- ? When we come running
- ? Whoa-oh
1776
01:34:02,626 --> 01:34:04,878
? Oh-oh-oh
1777
01:34:04,879 --> 01:34:08,548
? Whoa-oh, oh-oh-oh
1778
01:34:08,549 --> 01:34:11,009
? Oh-oh
1779
01:34:11,010 --> 01:34:12,844
? Oh-oh-oh
1780
01:34:12,845 --> 01:34:15,513
? The sound, the sound, the sound
1781
01:34:15,514 --> 01:34:18,350
? When we come running
1782
01:34:18,351 --> 01:34:22,145
- ? When the world's gone quiet
- ? Whoa-oh
1783
01:34:22,146 --> 01:34:26,107
- ? I see you dancing slow
- ? Whoa-oh
1784
01:34:26,108 --> 01:34:30,487
? Feelin' satisfied where
you never knew you'd go
1785
01:34:30,488 --> 01:34:34,240
? Headed for the open door
1786
01:34:34,241 --> 01:34:38,119
? Tell me what you're waiting for
1787
01:34:38,120 --> 01:34:41,873
? Look across the great divide
1788
01:34:41,874 --> 01:34:46,252
? Soon they're gonna hear the
sound, the sound, the sound
1789
01:34:46,253 --> 01:34:49,506
? When we come running
1790
01:34:49,507 --> 01:34:52,967
? Never go where we belong
1791
01:34:52,968 --> 01:34:57,013
? Echoes in the dead of night
1792
01:34:57,014 --> 01:35:01,476
? Soon they're gonna know
the sound, the sound, the sound
1793
01:35:01,477 --> 01:35:04,020
- ? When we come running
- ? Whoa-oh
1794
01:35:04,021 --> 01:35:06,272
? Oh-oh-oh
1795
01:35:06,273 --> 01:35:09,943
? Whoa-oh, oh-oh-oh
1796
01:35:09,944 --> 01:35:12,404
? Oh-oh
1797
01:35:12,405 --> 01:35:14,239
? Oh-oh-oh
1798
01:35:14,240 --> 01:35:16,908
? The sound, the sound, the sound
1799
01:35:16,909 --> 01:35:18,660
? When we come running
1800
01:35:18,661 --> 01:35:21,371
? Days go by
1801
01:35:21,372 --> 01:35:25,583
? Feeling broken down
1802
01:35:25,584 --> 01:35:29,003
- ? Remember
- ? Whoa-oh
1803
01:35:29,004 --> 01:35:32,048
- ? Always remember
- ? Whoa-oh
1804
01:35:44,603 --> 01:35:47,689
? The sound, the sound, the sound
1805
01:35:47,690 --> 01:35:50,313
? When we come running
1806
01:35:52,278 --> 01:35:55,447
? The sound, the sound, the sound
1807
01:35:55,448 --> 01:35:57,992
? When we come running
1808
01:36:02,663 --> 01:36:06,416
- ? Headed for the open door
? Whoa-oh
1809
01:36:06,417 --> 01:36:10,211
? Tell me what you're waiting for
1810
01:36:10,212 --> 01:36:13,840
? Look across the great divide
1811
01:36:13,841 --> 01:36:18,428
? Soon they're gonna hear the
sound, the sound, the sound
1812
01:36:18,429 --> 01:36:21,883
? When we come running
1813
01:36:23,434 --> 01:36:26,019
? The sound, the sound, the sound
1814
01:36:26,020 --> 01:36:30,857
- ? When we come running
- ? Whoa-oh, oh-oh-oh
1815
01:36:30,858 --> 01:36:33,860
? The sound, the sound, the sound
1816
01:36:33,861 --> 01:36:38,615
- ? When we come running
- ? Whoa-oh, whoa-oh-oh
1817
01:36:38,616 --> 01:36:42,366
? Whoa-oh, whoa-oh-oh... ?
129248
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