All language subtitles for Fleishman.is.in.Trouble.S01E08.The.Liver.720p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb.[eng]

Toby Fleishman awoke
in the middle of the night

to the sound of knocking at the door.

Bubbles! Keep it down.

Hey, who is it?

It's me. Open the door.

What? What's going on? What time is it?

I have to talk to you.

What? Did you not go home?

No, I have to talk to you.
Your phone was off.

Sorry, keep it down.
The kids are sleeping.

I saw her.

- Who? I don't understand. You...
- I saw Rachel.

- Yeah.
- What?

You did? Jesus.

After I left here,

I went downtown just to,

I don't know, like walk around

and I saw her just, like,
sitting there on a park bench.

Hmm.

I'm surprised, honestly...

And so I told him what happened.

I told him about Rachel, where she was,
where she'd been.

It was like seeing a ghost.

I had left her that evening,

with her sleeping,

and a doctor's appointment
scheduled for the next morning.

Hmm.

So, that's it?

"That's it"?

Yeah.

I have work in a few hours, Lib.

- Sorry, did you hear what I just said?
- Mmm-hmm.

That I saw Rachel
and she was in the park and...

No, I heard you. Yeah.
But we all knew she was around.

She was napping in the park. She was
fucking her best friend's husband.

She was bound to turn up.
It's a small town.

No, Toby. She had a nervous breakdown.

I know. That sounds stressful.

Okay. All right, I got to get the kids
to camp in the morning.

I also have a new boss and a patient
that's going off life support.

Sorry. What is happening right now?

She had a nervous breakdown.

That's where she's been.

She didn't abandon her kids.

Yeah, of course she did. Where is she?

I mean, she's not here. I don't see her.
Do you?

- Sure. But she had a nervous breakdown.
- Yeah, I know. I heard you.

She had a nervous breakdown.
Don't have to say it again.

She needs help, Toby.

She can hire help.

She... Who are you?

Seriously,
who am I talking to right now?

This is the mother of your children.

Yes, exactly.
But she is not my wife anymore, okay?

She has, like, no relation to me.

I don't have to care about her.
She's not my problem.

- Not your problem?
- No.

Oh, my God.

Remember, it's divorce, that means
never having to say you're sorry.

- Yeah.
- What?

I've been through her breakdowns,
Libby. Do not worry about her, okay?

She'll make it work for herself.

She'll come back
monetizing the whole thing.

She'll run a bank
by the time she's done with this.

I don't think that you understand, okay?

Yeah.

She's lost time, like full weeks.
She's lost everything.

She didn't lose anything.
She lost, like, a client.

And she spent a few extra days at a spa

when her best friend's husband
decided to stop fucking her.

You know what? You're right. Sorry.
I'll make her lasagna.

Toby, Jesus.

Hey, you were supposed
to be on my side, okay?

- You were supposed to be my friend.
- I am your friend.

You're waking me up in the middle
of the night to tell me this

now that I finally found a way to
move on with my sad, broken children.

Because she had a nervous breakdown.

- Yeah, I said stop saying that.
- Okay, fine. I won't use that word.

Okay, what do you want me to say?
She can't handle her life.

She's collapsed.
She can't take care of her own children

because she needs to put
her own fucking oxygen mask on first.

Actually, actually that thing
about oxygen masks

is about airplanes, all right?

It's really about adult tolerance
for oxygen deprivation.

It's not a metaphor. It's not
supposed to be like a lifestyle.

I'm so... I'm just like shocked.

I am not going to be
the prisoner of my mistakes.

This is what our ancestors died for.

The right for us to be middle-aged,

and bored and miserable.

Yeah and shocked, okay?

I'm going back to bed.

Go home, Libby.

I could tell you
what happened to Toby then.

I could tell you that the next morning,

when he arrived back at the hospital

to meet with the committees
over Karen Cooper's brain activity

and to help David Cooper
move toward a decision,

he was full of remorse
for his anger at the poor guy.

What had happened to Toby
to make him so cold-hearted

that he would lash out at a man
who had just effectively lost his wife?

All he could think was that
he was never like that before.

But also he had to leave room for
the fact that maybe he was.

Maybe, like the Wilson's itself,

everything we are
is dormant and inside us all along.

What I could tell you is that Toby
was always reactive and angry

and ready to blame everyone else
for his problems.

And he was also someone

who held even the unpreventable failures
in his heart,

and who did not ever let a basic
and consistent fact of his job,

which was death,

become regular to him.

I could tell you
that in his darkest recesses,

Toby had some relief

that he got to keep his job
the way that it was.

That he fundamentally didn't understand

why you would have to stop
doing what you loved

in order to get ahead

when it felt like it was ahead
to do what you loved.

I could tell you that Toby
was focusing on making good

on his promises to his children.

And so, the way the world looks
is different,

depending on how you look at it.

The electron cloud is uncertain,

- but the nucleus is always fixed.
- Okay.

Which means
it's always in the same place.

It's the things around it
that move around.

Now, sir, please
look into the stereoscope.

Okay.

There are two realities.

There is the cloud of electrons
surrounding the nucleus,

which is a solution
of the Schrödinger equation.

That's the box they're in.

And there's the physical locations
of each individual electron,

which can only be determined
by measuring them directly

by opening the box.

And both things are true.

And that is what I want to say
about superposition.

That is so good.

That is so good.

Do you think I'll win?

I can't imagine anyone
has anything better thought out,

or a smarter, harder-working son.

That is excellent work.

Oof. Jesus.

I could tell you
he never got the blinds fixed.

And despite three separate calls
to the super,

the air-conditioner was still broken.

Dad, we're gonna be late.

What? For what? Oh, crap. Solly, here.

Solly, come on. We have to go.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

Sorry I'm late.

Class went over a few minutes.

No, of course. Of course. Thank you.

Hannah, how are you doing
with your haftarah?

Cantor Timberman says
you're doing very nicely on it.

Oh, yeah, she's been studying every day.

- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.

You don't hear that a lot.

So what we could do
is just go over some logistics.

I know that you're going to want
to bestow honors on your family,

opening the Ark...
aliyah to the Torah, etcetera.

- And I know you're planning on speaking.
- Uh-huh.

And Rachel too, I presume.

- That is still a question.
- Okay.

Hannah, you understand
that you are engaging in a tradition

that goes back thousands of years.

You are accepting
the yoke of responsibility

for your family and your community,

and all the commandments of the Torah.

And you're taking it upon yourself

that it is your turn
to try and fix this world.

The world is upside down right now,

and we need all the smart,
thinking girls to help fix it.

Right. Okay.

And you're gonna carry this torch

for all of the Fleishmans
and all of the Jewish people.

Right.

Well, then I think we're set.

I think I'm not gonna do this.

Hmm?

Hannah?

I don't think I should do this.

Hannah.

- I'm just...
- Well, let's just take a minute.

- Yeah.
- I'm just not doing it.

The bat mitzvah. Can we go?

Hannah... She did this study.

She did all the studying. I'm sorry.
I don't know what this is. Hannah?

I'm gonna go.

Thank you, Rabbi.
And I'm sorry it didn't work out.

I'm so... This came
as a complete surprise to me.

I know your family
has been going through a lot.

Yeah. Let me go speak with her.
Is that...

- Yeah.
- Okay. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

- Solly, come on.
- Take your time.

Hannah, hey, what's going on?

I wanted to see what it would be like
up here.

You'll have another chance in November.

Dad, I'm not doing it. For real.

Is this about what happened at camp?

Because I can promise you
that by the time November rolls around,

like, no one will remember it.

It's not.

Is it about your mother?

It's not that.

Listen, I know it's been hard
with her gone,

but we're still Jews,
and this is what we do.

But why? Why do we do it? I...

I don't even know if I believe in God.

Yeah, well, that's actually
not what this is about.

This is about becoming an adult
in your community.

This is about taking on
my traditions as yours,

you can pass them along to your family.

I guess I just don't understand
why I would do it.

We do it because that's what we do.

We're the Fleishmans and we're Jews.

It doesn't seem smart to me.

What has it given us?

How has it even helped the world?

We're a mess, Dad.

The Fleishmans are a mess.

You're being too literal I think.

- No, no, I'm not.
- No?

You always tell me to think for myself

and not to be corrupted
by the people around me,

but I want my own traditions.

I want my own life
and I wanna make my own decisions.

I don't want to have to fix anything.

I haven't even broken anything.

I'm only 11.

I could tell you that Toby
looked at his daughter just then,

his wise, beautiful daughter,

who had been put through
too much recently,

and realized that she was right.

You know, another great tradition
is forging your own path

and being better than your parents.

Here, come here.
Come here, my sweet girl.

Now, you stand here.

And if a bat mitzvah
is also a coming of age,

then he had to agree that Hannah
did not need a ceremony to do that.

She'd grown up right in front of him,

slowly and then all at once.

May God make you
like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah.

May God bless you and protect you.

May God show you favor
and be gracious to you.

May God, may God show you kindness,

and grant you peace.

I could tell you that
after weeks of starts and stops,

that was the moment
that the Fleishmans understood

that a divorce was an earthquake
for two people who used to be in love.

But it was a chronic condition
for the children

who had to somehow survive it.

I could tell you that the Fleishmans
found themselves again

at the Vantablack exhibit,

which was in its last days.

They decided to go in and see it,

to really finally
face the void together.

Ready?

But I could not tell you
what Toby did next.

I had my own shit going on.

What had happened to me was that

at the beginning of the summer,
before Toby called me,

I was heading into my second year
of being a stay-at-home mom

and my thirteenth year of marriage

and my fifth year in a suburb
and my forty-first year of life.

But none of that changed
who I essentially was,

which was a magazine writer
with no assignment.

That didn't stop me from pontificating
all over the suburbs.

You know what I think?

I think that the men of this generation,
they are all like really good feminists,

but they haven't actually thought
about what it means to be equal.

They're so fragile all the time.

We just spend all of our time reassuring

and fellating
every insecurity out of them.

Do you ever think
that those Future Is Female shirts,

they're like Free Beer Tomorrow?

You know, it's the future
is always in the future.

Do you really think that they would let
us wear those shirts if it were true?

I think it's just a shirt, Lib.

I gotta go make dinner.

Yeah, me, too.

I'm riding with you?

And then into that morass,
I bumped into Michelle.

Libby! Hi!

Michelle?

Oh, my God, look at you.

You look amazing.

Yeah, well, I'm getting a divorce.

- What?
- Yeah.

Oh, my God, that's crazy. What happened?

It's a long story, but it's good.

I'm actually seeing someone,
my boyfriend from college.

What?

We reconnected on Facebook.
I know, what a cliché, right?

I'm going to move to the city.
Jonathan will stay here

and we'll take turns
staying with the kids.

I'm just so, I'm so surprised,
you guys, you always seemed so happy.

We were just very good friends,
you know?

Yeah. Yeah.

God. Okay, I'm sorry. I wanna
understand, like, all of this.

Please start from the beginning.

So we had just come back
from this amazing vacation...

It was the third divorce
I'd heard about in a month.

I started thinking
about divorce all the time.

Not divorce,
but clean slates and new starts.

I feel like I'm me again.

We're gonna get a place
on the Upper West Side...

"Me again."

I had somehow fallen for it.

Some dream of safety
that I hadn't understood

would never reconcile with who I was,
which was a free and independent person.

I'd taken all my freedom
and independence

and pushed them across the poker table
and said,

"Here, take my jackpot. Take it all.

"I don't need it anymore.
I won't miss it ever."

God, how hot I used to be for life.

Larry Feldman
was the first guy I ever kissed.

He was the first guy I ever...
A lot of things.

Oh, my God.

Libby Slater? Wow.

How much I used to feel.

How much I didn't feel any more.

Larry Feldman!

What is going on with you?

I just remembered you

and realized
that I didn't know what became of you.

You know,
I remember you very often.

Oh, yeah? That's funny.

I just saw that you're friends
with everyone from school,

and I don't know how
I missed being a part of that.

I remember when you and I
were in that basement

at Melissa Cooperman's
bat mitzvah after-party,

and I think about
when you let me put my...

Oh, God. Gross.

Later that night,

I heard from a friend
I hadn't spoken to in a dozen years.

- Toby Fleishman?
- Elizabeth Slater.

Epstein. It's Epstein now.
Yeah, but yes. Hello.

It was so nice to be back with people

that I never had to explain
who I was to.

I'd been trying to return
to the most authentic version of myself,

but it wasn't that dipshit
porn-dog Larry Feldman

who knew me when I was most myself.

It was Toby.

I began to feel less unmoored.

But I was living this life
that wasn't mine anymore.

And then I was living a life
that hadn't ever been mine.

Toby Fleishman! Hot damn!

I did finally go home that night

after I went to Toby's house
to tell him about Rachel.

After I hadn't been in contact
with my own family for days.

Hi.

I'm sorry.

- Mom, you're making breakfast?
- Hi.

I have been helping a friend
with something,

but I'm back.

I made pancakes.

- I want to hear everything.
- I don't eat breakfast anymore.

What does that mean?

That's why
we get you lessons, bud.

I'm never going to pass.

I'm not going.

- What's going on?
- I'm not taking the swimming test.

Miles, you can't learn this stuff
unless you learn this stuff.

What's the problem?
You have to take the swimming test.

- I got this.
- I'm not going.

I'm not taking any more lessons.

- Okay, Miles, I know you don't--
- I got this.

- It kind of seems like you're--
- We're gonna be late.

- I made breakfast for everybody.
- We get breakfast on the way now.

I already called in an order
at the bagel place.

I've got court today. Come on,
we're late. We're late. Let's go.

Bye.

It went on like that for a while.

Me doing penance.

Me staring out into the Vantablack,
wondering how this would get resolved.

I wasn't speaking to Toby anymore.

Seth wasn't speaking to either of us.

And I've tried to wedge myself
back into my life

before anyone noticed I'd been gone.

Fifty of the nation's most senior

Republican national security officials

have published a letter
declaring that Donald...

Sasha, what are you doing?

Hi, Mom.

Well, is this a party?

No, it's a barbecue.
Dad's in the back.

- Dad's in the back?
- Yeah.

I need ten kids,
but so far I have three.

So fun.

Maybe Libby will do it.

Well, look who came out of the woodwork.

- Libby.
- Hi.

I thought you couldn't make it.
Adam said you couldn't make it.

Oh. Uh, I think
we just got our signals crossed.

- Here.
- Thank you.

I was thinking of doing that one week
drama camp for the girls before school.

Do you think Sasha would want to?

I don't actually know if she's still
into doing drama, I have to ask her.

I'll ask Adam.

Sorry, can you just... Can I...

I'll be right back. One second.

...military. It's so dark
that it's dangerous.

You know, people,
they see and they freak out.

"They freak out," run screaming?

Yes. No, I'm telling you. It's...

They have to leave
because they, like, lose their footing.

- Oh, hey, Libby. Hi.
- Hey.

Hi.

Did we talk about this?

- About this barbecue?
- Yeah.

I don't know.
It was in the family calendar.

Sure, but I mean this morning,
when we were talking,

did we talk about this?

I don't know, Libby.
I can't keep track of you.

Okay. I've been home. That's not fair.

Adam, you're coming over later
for the game?

You know it.

You better bring that queso.

What game?

Really?

People watch the game now?

You eat queso?

He makes the best queso I've ever had.

- You make queso?
- Yeah.

I make queso.

Excuse me.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah. Now's... Now's not good.

"Now's not good." Wow. Okay.

- We're at a fucking barbecue.
- Oh, my God.

Can you please just stop being
so fucking passive about everything.

Please. Please, please. I just wanna
have, like, a regular conversation.

You are incapable of having
just a regular conversation, please.

Okay. I know.

I'm terrible. Okay?

I'm sorry.

So just please talk to me.

About what?
There's nothing to talk about.

You do whatever you want.

And I could not be a more thoughtful,
considerate husband to you.

You are merciless lately.

Miserable all the time, sarcastic.

What do you think it means to me,
to the kids,

that you walk around so unhappy?

I have no idea
what's happened to you lately.

God, I didn't want to get into this.

Okay, look. You're right.

I have been terrible.

You are wonderful.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I keep trying to figure it out.

I feel like I'm...

Like, I'm not alive anymore.

Well, you know what?

I'm happy, okay? We have friends.

- We have--
- Okay. These are not friends, though.

Like, they're not.
I can't talk to any of these people.

They treat me like I'm a fucking oddity.

They just talk about their kids
and their houses all the time.

We have two wonderful children.

We have income and safety and health

and the enormous privileges
of our class.

We are the kinds of people
who are invited to barbecues.

And if you gave these people a chance,
you would find they are filled

with the same kind of ambivalence
that you have.

They're not.
I promise you, they are not.

No. They are. They are, okay?

They are all trying to figure it out.

- Just like you. Just like me...
- It's not true!

- If you wanted to know.
- It's not true though, Adam.

They love it here. All they talk about
is how wonderful it is all the time.

It's like we've died
and these houses are our headstones.

We chose this.

Libby, you chose it, marriage, children.

Every single bit of it, we chose it.

I know, I know. I know.
I don't know, though,

because, honestly, I feel like
a few years ago I was a person, right?

And then I looked up,

and I just, I have no idea

when everything started to feel...
so the same.

Don't talk to me about your burdens.

The kids are always
with the babysitter lately,

and you barely even look at me anymore.

Okay. I am trying
to figure it out, though. I really am.

You could bother looking at me
while you try to figure it out, right?

I could be a part
of your figuring it out.

This is about you, all of a sudden?
It's so not about you, Adam.

Are you sleeping with Toby?

Am I what?

You slept over
at his fucking house, Libby.

No, of course I'm not sleeping
with Toby. Are you crazy?

- That's all you have to say?
- I don't even know why I did that, okay?

I just... You expect me
to know everything.

To have all of the answers.
I don't have the answers.

- I don't have them.
- No, I expect you to come home at night.

Is that so crazy?

I have to go.

- Sorry, you have to go?
- Yes.

I was asked to peel the corn
at this barbecue,

which you knew about
and which was in the family calendar.

And when I say I'm gonna be somewhere
and do something, I do it.

Yeah, so I converted the garage
into a bar.

The best move I ever made.

Yeah,
you can't do that in Brooklyn.

Did you get a French drain?

You know, actually, we just pitched the
soil, so there's no flooding anymore.

Well, your house is on top of that hill,
that makes sense.

The guy looks at me
with a totally straight face,

and he says, "You seem nice,
but you're not my type."

Get in the shower, and then...
Hurry up.

You just staying in bed today?

My alarm, I forgot to set it.

I just had the craziest dream.

I guess I'm taking the kids to camp.

Kids, kids, come on, we're late.
Let's go.

Okay.

- We're always late.
- Let's go!

Glenn? Hi.

Hey, I thought you'd want to know...

Archer died.

Wait. What?

No, that's, that's so crazy.

I, like, literally
just had a dream about him.

What happened?

In my dream, I had been
asking Archer for advice.

I can't remember on what,

but he kept asking
if we'd ever slept together.

Like, in life, I kept reminding him
who I was and how much I admired him.

And his response to that was,

"What does that have to do with me?"

Goodbye. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Hey, can we pretend we talked this
all through and just move on?

I'm having a party on Saturday.

It's really important to me
that you come.

Dress nicely, please.

The three of us
are having a slumber party,

but we're gonna tell Sophie
that she has to start using deodorant.

The situation has gotten out of control.

Puberty, man.

I'm gonna call Susannah,

see if she can watch them
on Saturday night.

Why? I'll be home.

No, uh, Seth,

he's asked us to a party.
He's having a party.

But I can't not go.

He specifically said that it was
important to him that I be there so...

I hope you have a good time.

I'll have a negroni, please. Thanks.

You know what's going on here, right?

- God damn it.
- Yeah.

- I never thought I would see this day.
- I know.

That... What a fucking idiot!

What a stupid dipshit.

Oh, God.

Could I have everyone's attention?

- Just for a moment. Thank you.
- Thanks.

Thank you for coming. Thank you.

Uh, I just wanted to say that I've had
a lot of parties throughout the years,

and I used to have theme parties

that I would call learning parties,

and we would dress up
as historical figures

or have somebody come
and give a math lecture.

Really, they're just excuses
to get drunk.

But I was always trying
to make sense of the world,

understand it and make peace with it.

And I thought if I could just do that,

then I could start to live my life.

Uh...

Today, I am here to tell you I give up.

I will never understand it.

And so I should do...

what every part of my body
is telling me to do.

And that is to ask the prettiest girl
in this room if she would marry me.

It's all a lot simpler
than I ever thought it would be. I...

I just want to wake up every day
and see her face.

What do you say,
Vanessa Lipschitz-Finklestein?

Can I make you
Vanessa Lipschitz-Finklestein-Morris?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

I told her we were here
for my mother's birthday.

Are you crying?

I just... How could he...

Ugh, how could he possibly think
that this is a good idea

after spending the entire summer
listening to us?

I know. I mean, I guess in Seth's story,

we're just the co-stars
who help him make this big decision.

Sorry, Lib.

I am, too. I really...

You know, it doesn't even matter.
I'm... I'm sorry, too.

Well, that's it.

Our boy is finally a man.

What can I say?

Life is a process
in which you collect people

and prune them
when they stop working for you.

The only exceptions
are the friends you make in college.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Congratulations.

I'm really happy for you.

I'm so glad you came.

I'm sorry that we fought, Seth.

I take you very seriously.

You are a real person.

Yes, you are extremely real.
I feel like I could touch you.

I bet you have a social security number.

Now, don't actually...
Don't actually... Don't actually.

Do you think
I'm an idiot for doing this?

No.

No, I think maybe marriage is like
that quote about democracy, you know,

"It's the worst form of government
in the world,

"except for all the other forms."

- You know?
- Nice.

Listen, we love you.

We're here for you. It's gonna be great.

Well, that's a rare nice thing
you just said to me.

- Thank you.
- Yeah, no, I'm happy for you.

- We're both very happy for you.
- Yes.

May your... May your

most virile sperm

make their odyssey through
her fallopian tubes

and conquer her ovaries,
bringing you sons.

- Sons...
- Sons!

By conquering the ovaries.

Did you even take freshman bio?

- Why is that not how it...
- No.

- Is that not how it works?
- May your sons

marry the daughters of finance bros,

and with ever-greater dowries
and stock options,

in Tesla and Apple.

You know, everything the beggar woman
said came true.

She said, "You were never gonna
be happy with what you were given.

"You're gonna always
want something different."

She said you were gonna heal the world.

Yeah, but that was only
when I had money to give her.

We're all good, right?

It feels like something is ending.
I can't take an ending right now.

No, it's not. It's not. We're all good.

- Yeah, we're good.
- Seth?

Gotta go.

My fiancée is calling me!

Hi.

I heard Archer Sylvan died.

Yeah. Yeah.

He died as he lived.

Practicing autoerotic asphyxiation

- in a hotel in Thailand...
- Oh, boy.

...surrounded by prostitutes.

- Really?
- Yeah. Yeah.

It was very, very weird, though.
Like, I had this dream about him.

And my editor calls me
and he told me that he died.

- That's crazy.
- Yeah.

It took them, like, a week
to find the body.

- That's terrible. What? The smell?
- No, no, no.

He was on a story and he was late,
you know, or later than usual, so...

The magazine's paying
for the funeral and everything

because he didn't have anybody.

- That's so sad.
- Yeah.

We're lucky we have people.

You're lucky. You know that, right?

- I think so. Yeah.
- Okay.

I just...

I'm just lost. I don't know.

I don't know
what I'm doing with my life.

What do you mean, what you're doing
with your life? It's done.

You're loved, Elizabeth.

Please, please tell me you understand
how special that is, right?

Yes, I just don't...

I guess it's just not enough for me.

Oh, God. Okay, I know.

Honestly? It might not
be enough for you either, so.

No, no, it would be.
It definitely would be.

I know that you fantasize
that it would be

because you have had
such a struggle all these years.

But you really have no idea
how you would feel

if you got the thing that you wanted.

You don't.

And contentment breeds quiet,

which breeds complacency,
which breeds unrest.

Maybe you should go back to work.

Yeah, I think I might.

I think I might write a book.

- A book? That's good. About what?
- Hmm.

About life,

and marriage

and money and dissatisfaction

and lifelong friendship.

And like, how all these things coalesce
in middle age, right?

And make you miserable
right at the exact point

that you're supposed
to have everything set.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Yeah, it'll be about everything.

- Everything?
- Everything.

Hmm. That's heavy.

Maybe, or maybe what's the point
of writing about anything,

- if it's not gonna be about everything?
- Yeah.

That's what Archer did.

That's good. No, you should,

- you should go be like Archer.
- Yeah.

Maybe I'll be better than Archer.

You know, I'll tell a really good story,

but I'll tell
all the other sides of it, too,

not just the ones that I like.

All right. So what,
what happens in the book?

Well, um, a newly divorced man
wakes up one morning,

to find that his ex
has dropped off the kids

- and does not appear to be coming back.
- Okay.

And so then he's left
to figure out where she is

and why life seems to have
gone so wrong for him.

- I hate this story.
- Yeah.

No, but sorry, how are you gonna write
it though? I mean, it has no ending.

- There's no ending yet.
- I don't know.

This, maybe this, this is the ending.

This. Okay. Well, imagine that.

No, don't end it here.
This is not a good ending.

Engagements are not good endings.

Weddings are worse,
but engagements are bad.

Okay, then maybe,
maybe it ends with her returning.

You know, like the whole thing
was just this terrible blip.

So she just comes back?

Maybe.

Why? Why does she come back?

She comes back
because she was always gonna come back.

For a while, she wasn't sure,

because being sure would have made

the whole thing feel,
you know, less dangerous.

It is possible that, like, a person
needs a little bit of danger

in order to feel like
she knows what matters.

That doesn't sound like Rachel.

She's aware she behaved terribly.
But it's like she's...

It's like, she was outside her body,
you know,

like watching herself the whole time.

And the problem
wasn't even her marriage.

It was just like her marriage
was a witness

to all of her other failures,

like a comorbidity
to how she was just getting old.

Hmm.

And so then, in the end,
when she comes home...

she realizes that she really,
really needs to figure out her life.

Because, yeah,
her marriage is not perfect.

But like...

It's not like not being married
is ever gonna make her young again.

And nothing could make her
unmake the choices

that she made.

She just didn't know
when she was making the choices,

that they were gonna limit
all the other choices

that she could make in the future.

It's not even her decisions...

It's just how can you live
when you used to have unlimited choices,

and you don't have them anymore?

I'm sorry.

No, no, no, no, no. Please continue.

So... Sorry. What happens?

She comes back, she comes back
and it turns out it was just a mistake?

Like, it was just, like,
a misunderstanding or something?

Yeah, maybe she's just like,
she just, she...

- She just appears.
- Just appears.

Okay, and then what?

It's raining. It's raining.

It's a rain that breaks
this terrible heat wave.

Mmm-hmm.

And you're at home in your apartment

and you're thinking about your life,

and you're thinking
about moving on, right?

- But then you hear the key in the lock.
- Okay.

- And the creak of the hinge.
- That's nice.

And you'll turn around and, suddenly,

she's just there in the doorway.

And then?

And then the book ends.

Yeah, but I mean
what happens after that?

I don't know. I really don't think
I have the imagination for that.

That's okay.

God, I love you so much.

You know that, right?

I haven't been
a good friend to you lately.

It's okay.

You've been going through a lot.

But I want you to know...

you are still you.

I can see it all.
I can see your darkness.

And I can see your goodness.

It is still there.

Like the day we met, okay?

- It's okay. Well done.
- Thank you.

May God grant them happiness.

May God grant them happiness.

- You want to walk back uptown together?
- Sure.

All right. I'm just gonna
run to the bathroom.

Okay. I'll be outside.

Hi, can you take me to New Jersey?
I'll pay double the meter.

Sure.

Hey, sorry. I've found a cab,
so I'm gonna head home.

We fall in love

and we decide to marry
in this one incredible moment.

What if everything
that happens after that

is about trying to remember that moment?

- What? That did not...
- It's true. Are you listening?

Maybe that's what
all these divorces were about.

We watch ourselves
and our spouses change,

and the work is to constantly recall

the reasons why you did this
in the first place.

You mistake the person closest to you
for your misery.

You think, "Maybe if I excised
this thing, I'd be me again."

But you're not you anymore.

You haven't been you in a long time.

And it's not his fault.

It was always going to happen.

And what were you gonna do with the fact

that time was gonna march on anyway?

What were you gonna do with the fact
that you couldn't win this fight.

That was the problem.

You were not ever
going to be young again.

You were only at risk
for not remembering

that this was as good as it would get
in every single moment.

That you are right now
as young as you will ever be again.

I can't tell anymore...

And now...

And now...

And now...

And now...

And now...

And now...

And now...

And now...

And now...

And now...

And now...

And now...

And now...

And now...

And now...

And now, and now, and now, and now...

And now...

And now...

Oh, my God.

It's so cold.

And now...

You're home?

I ran home.

Because I love you so much
I think I'm gonna die from it.

I'm sorry I'm late.

It's okay.

You always come back.

Toby Fleishman
headed home that night

and waited for the panic
to rise in him again.

The same panic that washed him in sweats
every time he contemplated the future.

But it didn't.

He was healing.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hi, how were they?
- They were fine.

- Yeah?
- Solly won Monopoly.

Oh, no, that bodes well.

Thank you so much, Faith.

- Thank you.
- Yeah, great.

It's really pouring.
You have an umbrella or something?

- I got one.
- Okay, great.

- Thanks. Have a good night.
- Yeah, you too.

How could you
be so desperately unhappy

when you were so essentially happy?

How could you know so much
and still be this baffled by it all?

The heat wave in Manhattan
was finally broken.

Toby would survive this.

In a hundred different ways,
he already had.

He would start looking
for a new apartment tomorrow.

One where everything worked.

He looked out the window
and he saw his reflection,

but then he also saw beyond himself.

He saw the people
in the windows in the city

all living their own
separate, distinct lives.

"God," he thought,
"You could die of the loneliness.

"But you could die of hope, too."

The way it blinded you a little.

The way it lead you to try again,

despite what you knew.

Time would move forward,

but tonight, briefly,

he had logged some optimism
into his block universe.

It would stay there forever.