All language subtitles for Fleishman.is.in.Trouble.S01E05.Vantablack.720p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb.[eng]

A fair question
one could have is,

how did our Toby Fleishman,

devoted friend, healer of the ill,
registered feminist ally,

end up in a Staten Island basement

betting odds
on a midnight supermodel fight club?

Well,

after his breakdown at the hospital,

he was suddenly all cried out.

And in the vacuum
of the silence that remained,

his loneliness became a void.

Except instead of an absence,
it was a presence.

I hate this place.

Even doing some of
his favorite activities didn't help.

Excuse me, sir.

Hi, yeah. Can I get the chopped salad?

Yeah, I'm so sorry.
Would you mind moving to the bar?

I have a party of four waiting.

Yeah, I...

I hate eating at the bar.

But, yeah, of course. Sure.

- Thanks.
- Yeah, I can do it. Thank you.

- There you go.
- Thanks.

Are you sure I can't...
Yeah. Fine. Okay.

Right this way.

He tried going
to his favorite place.

There was an exhibit there
he'd been looking forward to all summer.

Welcome to
The American Museum of Natural History.

Vantablack was
a lab-created material

that was said to be
the darkest black in existence.

It was created for the military

to help hide satellites and jets
from detection,

and it is so dark that you're not even
allowed to use it legally.

What was that? That was crazy.

I did not expect that.

It is the closest you can get
to a physical manifestation of the void.

How is it still July?

How many more days until the fall?

How many more days
until his kids returned?

Finally, it was the work week.

And, finally, finally,
he was too busy to feel anything.

But when the day came to an end,
as it always eventually did,

he was left to face
another endless night.

Hey, guys. Guys.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Hi.
- Hi.

You know, you guys have been doing
such a great job lately,

I was thinking I'd like
to engage in an age-old tradition

and take you out for a drink tonight.

I have a date.

And I'm studying for boards.

And I'm in Clay's study group.

No, that's cool. So I'll be...
Maybe like another time, or...

Doesn't matter. Yeah.

Toby's loneliness
was now a monster.

So, they get to the glacier,

and the karate master,
who's like a Yoda figure

but is also somehow
the tango champion of Spain... Hang on.

My man.

Hey. Yeah. No, I was just wondering
what you're doing tonight.

Well, my boy Brian just got dumped,
so we're taking him out for a drink.

Okay. That's too bad.

Yeah, you should come.

But I don't think I know Brian.

Of course you do.

Do you have a pen? Take this down.

Toby! Toby! Toby!

- Little closer.
- Okay. Got it. Got it. Got it.

- Shoulder width.
- This good?

Keep your left arm straight. Giddy up!

Hello.

God, this is exhilarating.

I can't believe they have
a whole gym for golf, and it's huge.

We probably could have
just played real golf.

- It's time.
- Ah. Come on.

What? What are we doing?

Annual Britney-Justin dance-off
reenactment.

- Wait, what?
- Come on.

Come on, Britney.

I don't really understand
how you win a dance-off.

Is it who dances better or,
like, feistier?

It doesn't matter, Toby.

Thought the Justin-Britney
dance-off was an urban legend.

Are you kidding?

This was the defining moment
in American pop history.

What time is it?

1:37.

Shit! We're late.

Wait. Late for what?

Come on! Get up, get up!

Shit. Is this totally kosher,
like watching two women...

- Toby!
- Yes.

- Do you not have enough problems?
- I have enough problems.

- Enjoy this. It's one of the solutions.
- Okay.

Yes!

Okay.

- We gotta go.
- Wait. I don't know if my guy won.

What's happening?

What's wrong
with seeing what you're eating?

It's a sensory experience,
to feel the food.

To really experience the moment,
you know?

I have a shellfish allergy.
Do they know that? Who do I tell?

Just enjoy. You've never
experienced anything like this.

You've never
experienced anaphylaxis.

Try to enjoy it.

I am. I am enjoying it.
I'm enjoying it.

- Oh, no.
- What?

I gotta pee.

I've not been up this late or this early
since medical school.

Wait, so let me get this.

When you say
that you're just going out for a drink,

that's what happens?

- Sometimes.
- Amazing.

- Oh, hey, one sec.
- What?

Hey, man. Can I grab
two of those off of you?

- Sure.
- Ten cool?

Thanks.

That is so cool.

All right. So what now?

Now we go home.

You wanna end this
before the joggers come out

and you start questioning
how you live your life.

- Okay. All right.
- I'll see you later?

Yeah. Good night. Thank you.

Sorry. I can't actually eat this,
but thank you.

You got it.

It was never clear to Toby

how long you were supposed to
watch a sunrise for.

And with that thought,
the loneliness returned.

The moment was gone.

He couldn't even hold onto it,
because you hold onto it by sharing it.

He still had so much love
and nowhere to put it.

You up?

So what were you doing out so late?

You know, I have this friend Seth,
and he...

You know, actually,
my kids are away and...

I've been having a tough time
just... lately, actually.

Turn over.

Just do it.

Okay.

Okay. What is that?

Now,

tell me what I'm spelling.

Okay. Um...

I think that's a "T."

Later, he wouldn't remember
what she spelled out onto his back.

That's either an "A" or an "H." Okay.

He would only remember thinking
how strange it was

for someone to be doing
something like this for him,

something nice, where he was
the only recipient of the niceness.

That's definitely an "A."

He couldn't remember one time
where that had ever happened to him.

So, I guess we're not going out to eat.

I gotta be somewhere.

Okay. I kind of just wanna know
what I'm getting into here.

We're having fun, aren't we?

Yeah. It's fun, you know? It's weird.

Okay. Listen.

Yeah.

My husband is an anchor
on a conservative news network.

You would know him.

Is it Tucker Carlson?

It doesn't matter.

You can look it up.
I am not allowed to say.

All right. Fine. But were you married
to Tucker Carlson because...

Listen.

I was married and we always had
this weird relationship.

He was a very religious Christian.
I was Jewish.

My parents are conservative.

Lower case-y
but also upper case, you know?

And my parents,
when they came from Iran,

they had all these ideas
of what a girl should be.

She should be shy and never let anyone
touch her, never touch herself.

Sure. Yeah.

- You know?
- Yeah.

And my husband hated sex.

I was a virgin when I married him.

I was such a good little girl.

And...

So I thought there was something
wrong with me,

that I wanted to have sex so much.

Anyway, I came home one day early

from some dumb fundraiser

and I walk in and his assistant
is giving him a blowjob.

- Whoa.
- His male assistant.

Ah. I see.

So, his job has a morality clause
and being gay is immoral.

Yikes.

- This is them, not me, obviously.
- Yeah. Right.

And so he pays for my life
and all of this,

and I still, on occasion, have to go
with him to events and award shows.

I'm not really divorced.

Not technically.

But we're done.

Yeah, but, I mean, is it worth it,

not having your freedom,
not being able to start over?

And you're so free?

Yeah. I'm divorced.

I signed the papers.
I have the freedom to move on. Yeah.

Being divorced
doesn't make you any less married.

I gotta go.

Yeah. Yeah, me too.

Hello. Hi.

Okay. That's good. Stay with me.
Stay with me. Very good.

This is what he needed.
Someone loyal.

Someone to bring the family together
and replace what they had lost.

No, no, no. Come, come, come.

What he'd lost.

No, let's go. Okay.

So I have this book, right?

It's right beyond my fingers,
in my head, but...

I never actually do anything about it.

Well, what's it about?

Maybe it'll be about smoking.

- I'd read that.
- Yeah.

You know, I read once
that people who have affairs,

they're not really trying
to betray their partners

and they're not really in love
with someone else,

but they're trying to find
who they are again.

They're trying to go back to the moment
when they were last themselves.

That's what I think about your smoking.

Hmm.

That's actually
a very insightful thing to say.

I'm a very insightful guy.

I guess so.

Hello.

- What did you do?
- What is this?

Yes, this is Bubbles. Bubbles Fleishman.
Bubbles, say hello.

You felt like
you finally had an empty house

and a few weeks of freedom
and it was just too much.

Yeah. It was. It was overwhelming.
Yes, say hi to Seth.

- Hi.
- And say hi to Libby, who we love, too.

You're a very nice person.

Yes, you know, the kids
have wanted a dog for a long time.

Hannah's wanted a dachshund
named Bubbles s since she was three.

I think I can have the dog house-trained
by the time they get home.

Such a divorced-dad thing.

I am such a divorced dad.

You realize that
that's a lifelong commitment, right?

You have to take care of that
or it dies.

Yeah, I know. I hear you.
I'm sorry I was shitty to you, okay?

What is going on?

Can I just say, you will never believe
what we did last night.

Last night... Another night
that I didn't get invited to? Awesome.

It was incredible.
We owned the city. We went everywhere.

I think we ate an endangered species.

- Ew.
- No, it was amazing.

It was like the world existed
just for us.

It's weird.
I never, like, understood that life.

But now I think I want every night
of my life to do that. It was glorious.

Yeah. What? Right, Seth?

I don't know.

What do you mean? We had a time.
Did we not have a time?

Yeah. No. We did. I don't know.
I'm just kind of depressed.

You? Really? You're depressed?

I can't be depressed?

Yeah. I don't know.
You have this great life.

Okay. What happened?

What happened is I got fired.

What happened is that
I wear a suit all day

because I might get a job interview,
and I'm 41, and I have no one to cry to.

I don't know.
I turned around and realized

the brokers who are 15 years younger
than me are the only friends I had.

- What about us?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I know. Can I just be depressed?

But we had the night of our lives.
Did we not?

I don't know. It was a Monday for me.

Oh, my God.

What the hell is that?

It's just incense, Dad.
Don't worry about it.

My job was supposed to be fail-safe.

Nothing is fail-safe.

Yeah, but I didn't do anything.

If you didn't do anything,
then you should sue.

- I don't wanna talk about it.
- Did you tell Vanessa yet?

How can I tell Vanessa? It's too late.
I have to break up with her.

Are you crazy?

Well, I would have to admit I lied.
I would have to apologize.

Love means
never having to say you're sorry.

Actually, in my experience,

divorce means never having
to say sorry.

- Oh.
- Yes, he's right.

Every relationship I've ever had

is a girl asking me to apologize
all the time.

Kind of a strange way of maybe looking
at your ongoing issues with women,

but sure.

I don't wanna talk about it,
like I said.

Shit. I have to go.
My flight leaves in four hours.

- You are gonna have a great time.
- Where you going?

I love it there.

Mmm-hmm. Bye, guys.

The multinational mass media
and entertainment conglomerate

that features several amusement parks
as its profit center

would rather
I didn't mention it by name.

Come on. In the car.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

Thank you. I'm sorry.

- I just gotta get a few things.
- It's finished. I did it.

- You're late. Let's go.
- I know.

I'm gonna run upstairs and do deodorant.

- I had this timed to the minute, Lib.
- I'll be right back.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's okay. At least
you got the restaurant reservations.

Right.

Newark Airport, right?

The multinational mass media
and entertainment conglomerate

that features several amusement parks
as its profit center

would rather I not depict
scenes from this vacation.

So instead of telling you
about my trip to there,

I'll use this time
to tell you about my trip to here,

meaning how I got here
to this place in my life.

I worked at a men's magazine,
the only place I ever wanted to work.

...story in between.

Genius.
Masterful. Killed it.

I loved it there.

I was an editorial assistant,
then a news assistant.

Hey, you're taking notes, right?

Yeah.

All I wanted was to be a writer
with my stories up there.

To write those stories seemed to me

the closest approximation
to actually living.

Or more specifically,

what I wanted was to be Archer Sylvan,

our most marquee writer
who wrote bombastic, wild stories

that stopped the world for a week
after they were published.

Archer spanned the globe, digging up
unbelievable characters

and telling a story that felt like
you were being

gripped by the lapels and shouted at.

Of course, "The Heart is a Lonely
Dinner" was his most famous story.

It won the National Magazine Award
the year it was published,

and was a Pulitzer finalist.

My favorite of his books, Decoupling,

was a National Book
Award-winning scandal.

A gonzo account of a year
in the life of a divorced man in 1979.

Like that one. Okay. Good.

As the years went on, though, Archer,
who had once been everyone's delight,

became the subject
of ever more controversy.

What would you say to people who thought
that only showing one side

of the divorce gave women short shrift?

I mean, come on, Jake.

Have you ever asked
a woman what her divorce was like?

How do you mean?

I don't get the joke.

All right. Well, I'm saying
it's the same old thing, the same story.

"He did me wrong. He cheated on me.
He doesn't respect me."

I'm tired of that story.

I wanted to write the story
of a person's soul.

So a woman doesn't have a soul?

I didn't say that.

I'm saying that you can't get to
the truth of a thing if you ask her.

So women don't tell the truth?
This is what critics take issue with

about you, Archer.

You wrote about a man's divorce,
taking his word for everything.

You never interviewed the woman
to verify anything.

It's not the same thing.

Well, they're reissuing the book, Jake.
That's gotta count for something.

Some of the lines
that were now considered unspeakable

were edited out of later editions,

but they didn't fix
its iconic last line.

"The bitch will try
to get you every time."

But I didn't care.

I forgave anything that was as exciting
and angry and urgent as this.

- Hey, Archer.
- Hey.

I work... I work at the magazine.

I've never seen you there.

Oh, well, I'm such a huge fan of yours.

I had to just come and hear...
See you speak.

That piece that you wrote about
the fountain of youth in the Andes,

that story completely changed my life
when I read it. It was...

What's your name?

Libby Slater.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

Hey.

This way.

Almost 15 years later, I was
still jogging in place at the magazine.

And the magazine
was still celebrating Archer.

It was always the next story for me
that was going to be the big one.

I was always just about to break out.

And I kept telling him,

I didn't mean to run with the bulls.

I was doing a story
on these bank robbers

when they started getting chased
by the cops.

That's when I saw
the most beautiful woman

I've ever seen before.

Don't ask me how old she was.
She lived outside the realm of time.

Read it! Read it!

- Okay! All right!
- Read it! Read it!

If you insist.
I'm gonna read one page.

You should be thinking of that for you
because she's a child star

but she's not really a girl, right?

I don't know, Glenn.

Why can't I do something
more like what Archer does?

- Archer is Archer. You know that.
- I...

Everyone wants to be Archer.
He's the house style.

Let's get you something good.

NFL cheerleader coaches.

NFL cheerleader coaches?

Tony Bennett?

- Tony Bennett?
- He's turning 85. Might be surprising.

Like what, "he might die
during the interview" surprising?

It's the legend, Lib.
You killed that Instagram story.

Thank you.

- Killed it. Murdered it.
- Destroyed. I'm in awe.

Steiner was just sent to Cuba
on a Castro story.

You're kidding.

Steiner.

That guy has been here for six months.

He came over from GQ.

He was there for two years.
He's got a voice.

I have a voice.

You know what I mean, Libby.

So you have a dinosaur
whose work has aged like milk

and you're grooming a baby dinosaur?

Let's get you on a new story.

I had first read
Decoupling in college.

In fact, I'd given it to Toby in Israel

and he'd become
an Archer Sylvan obsessive, too.

That night,
I re-read Archer's collection.

I'd been at the magazine
for 15 years by then.

It had taken me
to right exactly that party

to realize that I was no longer
moving forward.

I was completely stalled.

What's going on?

I don't know.

I'm lost. I don't know what I'm doing.

Why? What happened?

I was just...

I was rereading
"The Heart is a Lonely Dinner".

I just... I don't know,
I always thought, like, I...

If I write good stories,
if I prove myself,

then one day they're gonna send me
to the top of the mountain

to eat the still-beating heart
of the ox.

Then I'll know the secret to life.

You'll get there. You will.

I won't. I won't. I won't.
I'm not even close.

God, I can't believe
I'm saying this, but...

I think I have to leave.

Listen, come here. Come here.

Listen.

Those guys who embody the ethic
of the magazine, they're blowhards.

They come to you
when they want a good story

without the pages soaked in blood.

They come to me
when they want a story

that's filed on time.

They do. I wanna soak my pages in blood.

I want people to read my stories
and cry and rend their garments.

- They will.
- They don't. They don't. They don't.

God, I just feel so stupid.

I was never in the game.

You could be a great writer
at a men's magazine,

but no matter how hard you work,
if you're a woman, you can't be a man.

I don't even feel like
anybody reads anything I write

unless it's about a man.

I'll write a novel.

But now it's two years later.

I haven't once even opened a blank page
and made an attempt.

And here's the secret of my vacation.

While we were on the rides,
standing in lines and taking pictures,

I wasn't really with my family.

I wasn't in Florida.

I wasn't on an airplane.

I wasn't at a themed restaurant,
begging a hostess

for a reservation everyone in the world
knew to make weeks before, but not me.

I wasn't even at home,
unloading the car.

I don't know what to do with you.

I was with Toby.

Come here.

Okay. There we go. Okay.

Okay, come on.

Okay. It's okay.

Go pee. Go pee. Okay, there you go.

Go pee. Come on. Okay.

She's so cute.

Hey, thank you so much.

What's her name?

It's actually a boy.

People do think it's a girl
but it's actually a boy. Bubbles.

Maybe that's why they think it's a girl.

Yeah. Maybe.

Shit, sorry.

Shit. It's my kids' camp.

Hello, Dr. Fleishman.

Are the... Yeah. Are the kids okay?

Wait. No. Sorry. You have to tell me.

Now? I'm sorry. I have a job.

Can you please at least
tell me the nature...

Yeah, I don't even have a car.
How am I supposed to... Yeah, fine.

That's fine.
I'll be in as soon as possible.

- You need to clean up that dog shit.
- What?

Shit. Uh...

- Hi.
- Hey.

Thank you for coming, truly.

I was taking the day off anyway.

- Yeah?
- Everything okay?

I don't know. That douchebag
camp director told me nothing.

- It's Bubbles!
- I'm sure everything's fine.

How could anything be fine?

Remember the times a parent
had to pick up a kid from camp?

Michael Goldstein when he urinated
on Scott Messenger?

Yeah. Exactly.

Don't worry. Children are resilient.

Hello.

He wondered
why people say that.

Children are actually not resilient.
They're children.

Just because they don't
jump off a bridge

doesn't mean they're resilient.

Mr. Fleishman,

everything's fine. Hannah's fine.

But she did take an unfortunate picture
with her phone

and she shared it with a young man.

What? What kind of picture?

It was a very suggestive picture.

The boy shared it with his friends.

He shared it with his friends?

And what does "suggestive" mean?

Well, it wasn't appropriate.

I'll let you discuss it with Hannah.

But suffice it to say,

it violated our camper code of conduct.

Yeah, I'm not really interested
in the camper code of conduct.

- Is she okay?
- Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I said that she's fine.

Where is she? I wanna see my daughter.

- She's packing up her things.
- And what's happening to him?

- To...
- To the kid.

- Well, Mr. Fleishman...
- Actually, it's Dr. Fleishman.

Okay, well...

He's not the one
that took the photo, so...

Right. So nothing's happening to him?

He didn't violate any of your policies
or any of your rules?

- Well, right now...
- Yeah?

...his parents are in Switzerland,
so we talked to them.

How nice. How nice for them.
Okay. Where is she?

Hannah Bear.

Come here. Come here.

Oh, honey.

I know there is so little I can say
to make this better, but...

Here, listen to me. Listen to me.

Honey, it won't always
feel this bad, okay?

I just wanna go.

Yeah. No, I understand. We'll go.

Hey, where is Solly?

He's in Chipmunks.

I was having a great time.

I know, but your sister
had some problems

and I can't leave you here
with the way they handled it.

Wait. I forgot. I have to get something
from the art room.

Yeah. Go ahead.

Then what time
do we go to the art class?

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. It was pretty good.

Go to the car, Hannah.

Actually, give me your phone
and then go to the car.

One minute.

Mr. Fleishman.

Mr. Fleishman.

Hey.

One day, you'll understand
what a piece of shit you are,

and I hope I'm there to see you
when you realize you're worthless.

- Mr. Fleishman.
- It's Dr. Fleishman, you dipshit.

All right.

Are you going to your
or Mom's house?

Um...

Hey, guys,
could I talk to you for a second?

- Can we go sit down, actually?
- What is it?

Um...

Well, it's your mother.
I mean, she's fine. At least...

I think she's fine. But...
No, it's fine.

Here, come here.

But, um...

Well, she's having some issues, okay?
And she's...

taking some time right now.
Here, sit down.

What does that mean?

It means you'll be with me full-time
for the foreseeable future.

Wh... What does that mean?

Um...

Your mother has...

decided to, like,
not be in our life so much.

She's not on a business trip. She...

She dropped you off that day

and she doesn't appear
to be coming back to pick you up.

No. No, she wouldn't do that.

No, I know it seems impossible.

I mean, it seems that way to me too,
but I just, like...

I don't know
how to protect you from this.

I tried. I sent you to camp.

I thought it'd resolve but...

I can't keep lying to you, okay?

The children
reacted the same way they did

when they told them about the divorce,

with questions about survival.

He tried to answer honestly.

"Yes, you will probably see her again.
Yes, they'll manage.

"Yes, he's sorry. He's so sorry."

Like a small boat in the ocean

Sending big waves into motion

Like how a single word

Can make a heart open

I might only have one match

But I can make an explosion

And all those things I didn't say

Wrecking balls inside my brain

I will scream them loud tonight

Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song

Take back my life song

Prove I'm all right song

My power's turned on

Starting right now I'll be strong

I'll play my fight song

And I don't really care

If nobody else believes

'Cause I've still got

A lot of fight left in me

'Cause I've still got

A lot of fight left in me

Wait. You didn't.

No way!

- Hi!
- Hi!

Hi. Oh, my goodness. Hi.

You named him Bubbles, didn't you?

Hi, Bubbles.

Who's a good girl?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello.

People always say to use the pasta water
but I'm never sure what that means.

Like when do you put it in?

I just put the sauce on.

It smells really good.
My dad never makes pasta.

You doing okay?

Better.

Okay.

Dinner!

Great.

May a pox break out at the summer camp

that is only ever outdone
by a concurrent plague of termites

and venereal disease.

- Termites and venereal disease?
- Yes.

- Can you pass the spaghetti?
- All right.

This looks really great.
Thank you, Vanessa.

You know, I knew your dad
when he was your age.

He was very short and he was really fat.

- I know.
- That's not nice.

You know,
but you were still my friend though.

- We have salad too.
- Great. Thank you.

- Diet lettuce.
- Yeah? And there's no dressing?

- No dressing, no.
- Okay. Thank you.

Did you guys
really meet at camp?

Sure did.
Your dad was very into astronomy.

It's delicious.

Get some pasta. Eat up.

It looks beautiful.
Could I trouble you? No, I'll do it.

Let's see.
Sure. Yes, please.

It's really good.
Thank you.

- Really?
- You sure you don't want some?

I am positive.

Okay.

Maggots.

Come on.

Don't bring up maggots
when we're eating.

This is very good.

Really?
Yeah...

And then they were gone,

and he could no longer pretend
that what happened didn't happen.

How could Hannah be these two people,
Toby wondered.

She was a person
who just a few hours ago

had a global humiliation,

then learned
that her mother had abandoned her,

and then in a minute was on her knees
unmoored by her new puppy.

For a few years, Hannah would straddle
being both people,

and that was just the worst.

Both for her to endure innocence
and maturity in the same body,

and for him to watch her innocence
vanish in drips until it was gone.

Hannah Bear.

I have to run out for an errand
for a minute.

Will you be okay
if I leave here real quick?

Mmm.

Okay. Call me if you need me, okay?

Growing up was disgusting.

Long time no see, Dr. Fleishman.

Is she up there?

She just got home.
Should I tell her you're coming?

No, no, no. She's expecting me.

There was no confrontation
that would make this better.

The decision was made. It was over.

That weekend,

Toby, Hannah, and Solly
embarked on their new life

as a family of three

that was no longer waiting
for their former fourth to show up.

Do you think it'll ever not be hot?

Like I said,
you won't always feel this way.

Nothing lasts forever.

But it wasn't all he was thinking about
right now.

God help him, he was thinking that
he was so happy to not be alone anymore.

He didn't wanna make peace
with his loneliness.

Let's go. Come on.

Why is it so dark?

That freaked me out when I first saw it,

but I knew
you would find it interesting.

Now he didn't have to.

Ready?

- Come on.
- Okay.

I need to leave.
We have to leave.

Hey, hey. Yo, Solly.

Solly!

Solly. Solly.

Hey. Hannah, come on.

Solly, wait.