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ABOUT JOAN
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Directed by Laurent Larivière
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My name is Joan. Joan Verra.
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It sounds masculine in French,
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but it's common in Ireland,
my father's country.
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It's spelled J-O-A-N.
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But I hate being called Joanne.
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It always happens.
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Some even pronounce it John,
like John Wayne! Absurd.
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It's Joan.
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I was born in the early 60s.
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My parents met in Saint-Nazaire.
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My mother was a fairly free young woman,
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very much in love.
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My father left Ireland at 18
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to work in the shipyards.
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He met my mother
at the launch of the liner France,
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on May 11th, 1960.
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I believed there was proof
of that moment.
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00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:35,298
But there wasn't.
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00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:38,844
I was even sure I'd held the photo
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of them both next to the ship
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in the joyful crowd.
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It's absurd.
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That image was purely in my mind.
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I'd heard the story so often,
it had become real.
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That's also how memories are made.
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00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,062
What do you want?
29
00:20:47,122 --> 00:20:48,081
That's good.
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00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:49,416
Two...
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00:20:51,669 --> 00:20:52,545
Three...
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00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:54,087
Four...
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00:23:52,224 --> 00:23:53,892
We've been worried sick!
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Don't start.
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00:23:55,978 --> 00:23:57,270
Come here, my baby.
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00:24:43,651 --> 00:24:45,986
Nathan is the best thing in my life.
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00:24:46,444 --> 00:24:48,947
All mothers say that,
but for me it's true.
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00:24:49,364 --> 00:24:52,117
It isn't true that he saved my life
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00:24:52,409 --> 00:24:54,327
or gave it meaning.
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00:24:54,494 --> 00:24:57,247
I don't believe all that nonsense.
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00:24:57,706 --> 00:24:59,542
We know life has no meaning,
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00:25:00,042 --> 00:25:01,752
with offspring or without.
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00:25:02,628 --> 00:25:04,212
Ma'am, your cigarette.
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00:25:04,379 --> 00:25:06,256
Oh, yes, sorry.
45
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:29,697
Take him, Dad.
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00:27:25,478 --> 00:27:27,397
Tim Ardenne speaking.
47
00:27:28,023 --> 00:27:29,817
- It's me.
- Yes?
48
00:27:30,651 --> 00:27:31,401
Who?
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00:27:32,152 --> 00:27:34,822
You must have the wrong number, madam.
50
00:27:35,405 --> 00:27:36,532
Miss.
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00:27:37,365 --> 00:27:40,744
I'm sorry, miss, I don't have time now.
52
00:27:40,911 --> 00:27:42,538
My wife has vanished.
53
00:27:43,121 --> 00:27:46,041
I say my wife, but we're not married.
54
00:27:46,333 --> 00:27:48,460
I hate the idea of belonging.
55
00:27:48,627 --> 00:27:49,837
It's just quicker.
56
00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:52,548
Yes, I understand, of course.
57
00:27:53,090 --> 00:27:55,593
She left one night, like that.
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00:27:55,759 --> 00:27:57,678
Almost without warning.
59
00:27:58,178 --> 00:28:00,931
She just told me, "Don't worry."
60
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:05,728
Those words are ideal
to make someone worry, aren't they?
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00:28:06,103 --> 00:28:08,313
It wasn't very wise of her.
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00:28:11,358 --> 00:28:13,068
I'm sorry, my love.
63
00:28:13,235 --> 00:28:14,194
It's all right.
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00:28:14,570 --> 00:28:17,197
I can come right away if you want.
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00:28:17,364 --> 00:28:19,282
No, really, it's ok.
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00:28:21,076 --> 00:28:23,036
It does me good being here.
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00:28:32,045 --> 00:28:33,088
One more time.
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00:28:48,937 --> 00:28:50,648
I need a volunteer.
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00:29:00,949 --> 00:29:02,242
Your weakness, James?
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00:29:03,827 --> 00:29:07,873
Off the top of my head, my generosity.
I'm too genuine.
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00:29:08,165 --> 00:29:09,708
It often deceives me.
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00:29:12,753 --> 00:29:14,379
He means in this exercise
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00:29:14,547 --> 00:29:15,714
in particular.
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00:29:18,926 --> 00:29:20,260
Any ideas?
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00:29:22,345 --> 00:29:23,847
He neglects his back.
76
00:29:25,348 --> 00:29:26,099
Exactly.
77
00:29:27,184 --> 00:29:29,853
I told him. It's the same at mah-jong.
78
00:29:37,528 --> 00:29:39,112
From the beginning.
79
00:29:42,032 --> 00:29:44,076
That man's not very nice.
80
00:29:45,786 --> 00:29:47,120
Why do you say that?
81
00:29:47,871 --> 00:29:49,957
Grandpa's always on the floor.
82
00:29:53,501 --> 00:29:55,671
Grandpa agrees to it.
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00:29:55,838 --> 00:29:57,005
One more time.
84
00:29:57,172 --> 00:29:59,758
Learn to fall, to pick yourself up.
85
00:30:00,008 --> 00:30:01,802
Talk about a life metaphor.
86
00:30:01,969 --> 00:30:04,346
When you fall,
you hurt yourself, period.
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00:30:05,639 --> 00:30:07,474
They lie to us, Nathan.
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00:30:24,241 --> 00:30:25,868
What's she up to?
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00:30:49,642 --> 00:30:50,684
Nearly ready.
90
00:30:57,691 --> 00:30:59,026
What took so long?
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00:30:59,693 --> 00:31:01,570
I couldn't find my bag, sorry.
92
00:31:01,737 --> 00:31:02,863
Let's go.
93
00:32:42,337 --> 00:32:44,047
I tried my best to resist.
94
00:32:45,298 --> 00:32:46,925
But it's uncontrollable.
95
00:32:50,763 --> 00:32:52,222
I feel as if
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I'm living again.
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00:32:56,644 --> 00:32:58,562
Not that I felt dead before.
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00:32:59,563 --> 00:33:01,064
Or sad or anything.
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00:33:01,899 --> 00:33:03,609
I was already very happy.
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00:33:04,610 --> 00:33:05,653
But now...
101
00:33:08,906 --> 00:33:10,157
It's much more.
102
00:33:12,743 --> 00:33:14,578
Who knows where it'll lead,
103
00:33:14,912 --> 00:33:16,789
but I have to experience it.
104
00:33:17,330 --> 00:33:19,041
You can't even communicate.
105
00:33:20,042 --> 00:33:21,418
You're wrong.
106
00:33:25,923 --> 00:33:27,675
We communicate perfectly.
107
00:33:28,050 --> 00:33:31,136
Our bodies do the talking.
They speak the truth.
108
00:33:31,303 --> 00:33:33,764
That's a load of crap, Mum.
109
00:33:34,890 --> 00:33:35,808
And Dad?
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00:33:36,642 --> 00:33:39,728
I love James. I'll always love him.
111
00:33:40,563 --> 00:33:42,022
That's not the issue.
112
00:33:42,815 --> 00:33:44,900
Actually, I think it is.
113
00:33:45,984 --> 00:33:47,277
You must tell him.
114
00:33:47,778 --> 00:33:48,654
No.
115
00:33:49,738 --> 00:33:53,701
You have to tell him.
I refuse to keep it to myself.
116
00:33:53,867 --> 00:33:55,243
You really want that?
117
00:33:55,578 --> 00:33:56,662
I want nothing.
118
00:33:57,913 --> 00:33:59,748
Face your responsibilities.
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00:34:04,086 --> 00:34:05,838
You have to go now, darling.
120
00:34:28,611 --> 00:34:32,781
I cannot postpone anything,
121
00:34:33,782 --> 00:34:36,660
even if the night weighs like centuries
122
00:34:36,827 --> 00:34:39,913
on my shoulders,
123
00:34:40,748 --> 00:34:45,919
even if hesitant dawn is late in coming,
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00:34:46,795 --> 00:34:48,631
I cannot put off my life
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to another century,
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00:34:52,425 --> 00:34:53,927
nor my love,
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00:34:54,219 --> 00:34:56,054
nor my cry of release.
128
00:34:56,555 --> 00:35:01,309
No, I cannot postpone the heart.
129
00:35:21,038 --> 00:35:22,455
What's going on?
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00:35:23,456 --> 00:35:25,709
I didn't want it to be like this.
131
00:35:27,628 --> 00:35:29,129
I wanted to drop this off
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00:35:31,339 --> 00:35:32,633
before coming back.
133
00:35:39,431 --> 00:35:40,683
I'm leaving, James.
134
00:35:41,058 --> 00:35:43,852
To go where? What is this?
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00:35:44,645 --> 00:35:46,689
I'm leaving, that's it.
136
00:35:48,982 --> 00:35:50,067
That's it?
137
00:35:50,734 --> 00:35:51,985
That's all?
138
00:35:56,448 --> 00:35:58,534
I'm moving to Japan with Kazuo.
139
00:35:59,117 --> 00:35:59,868
Kazuo?
140
00:36:02,412 --> 00:36:03,581
To Japan?
141
00:36:08,251 --> 00:36:09,670
You know I love you.
142
00:36:10,128 --> 00:36:11,338
Yes, I know.
143
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,048
I love you too.
144
00:36:15,300 --> 00:36:16,969
I've nothing against you.
145
00:36:17,803 --> 00:36:19,054
Almost nothing.
146
00:36:22,891 --> 00:36:24,977
I've seen the solicitor.
147
00:36:25,143 --> 00:36:28,188
You get my father's firm.
You'll lack nothing.
148
00:36:32,109 --> 00:36:34,987
I renounce my status
as a mother and wife.
149
00:36:36,071 --> 00:36:38,616
It's too hasty.
You don't know what to expect.
150
00:36:39,366 --> 00:36:41,409
I can't miss out on my life.
151
00:36:48,917 --> 00:36:50,377
You're lucky.
152
00:37:30,543 --> 00:37:31,376
Hello?
153
00:37:31,544 --> 00:37:32,920
Hello, it's me.
154
00:37:33,086 --> 00:37:34,212
Nathan?
155
00:37:34,379 --> 00:37:36,256
It's night there,
aren't you asleep?
156
00:37:36,423 --> 00:37:39,301
No, I'm not. I'm in France.
157
00:37:39,467 --> 00:37:40,636
In Paris?
158
00:37:40,803 --> 00:37:44,347
No, I'm not in Paris.I took a train to the station in...
159
00:37:44,765 --> 00:37:48,811
What's that little station10 km from the house?
160
00:37:49,227 --> 00:37:50,854
Why didn't you tell me?
161
00:37:51,939 --> 00:37:52,981
Surprise.
162
00:37:53,148 --> 00:37:54,650
I have to pick you up?
163
00:37:54,817 --> 00:37:57,611
I don't want to bother you,you're busy...
164
00:37:57,820 --> 00:37:59,613
I can go back to Montreal.
165
00:37:59,822 --> 00:38:02,700
Don't be so touchy.
I'm on my way.
166
00:38:02,866 --> 00:38:04,201
No, I'm kidding.
167
00:38:04,409 --> 00:38:07,412
I hitched.I'm at Mariposa, at the gate.
168
00:38:29,017 --> 00:38:30,393
My son!
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00:38:30,728 --> 00:38:31,729
Joan.
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00:38:32,395 --> 00:38:33,856
You can call me Mum.
171
00:38:34,022 --> 00:38:35,566
You used to hate that.
172
00:38:35,733 --> 00:38:38,068
I was too young to be a mother then.
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00:38:38,235 --> 00:38:40,362
I need to get back to basics.
174
00:38:40,529 --> 00:38:42,239
Honoured to be part of that.
175
00:38:46,702 --> 00:38:48,411
- What?
- You're very elegant.
176
00:38:48,579 --> 00:38:51,164
- Stop.
- You've changed. Your walk...
177
00:38:51,331 --> 00:38:53,208
You're more self-confident.
178
00:38:53,792 --> 00:38:54,960
It's the snow.
179
00:38:55,127 --> 00:38:57,921
It's down to snowshoes,
not confidence.
180
00:38:58,088 --> 00:39:00,090
How can you stand the snow?
181
00:39:00,298 --> 00:39:03,301
It hit -27° C in Montreal last winter.
182
00:39:03,468 --> 00:39:05,053
I don't think I could.
183
00:39:05,513 --> 00:39:07,598
You must come to see us one day.
184
00:39:08,641 --> 00:39:10,100
Why are you here?
185
00:39:12,394 --> 00:39:14,146
Did Tim ask you to come?
186
00:39:14,312 --> 00:39:15,606
You know he didn't.
187
00:39:18,441 --> 00:39:20,569
Is the small bedroom ok?
188
00:39:20,861 --> 00:39:23,030
Your childhood room, I mean.
189
00:39:23,196 --> 00:39:24,782
There's a big bed now.
190
00:39:24,990 --> 00:39:26,199
Anything suits me.
191
00:39:26,784 --> 00:39:28,451
It'll bring back memories.
192
00:39:35,333 --> 00:39:36,376
It's locked.
193
00:39:36,544 --> 00:39:39,755
The handle turns the other way around,
remember.
194
00:39:46,053 --> 00:39:47,304
Drat...
195
00:39:48,430 --> 00:39:50,766
Silly me, the key's in the vase.
196
00:39:55,896 --> 00:39:57,565
I don't know where it is.
197
00:40:00,483 --> 00:40:02,110
Never mind. Who cares?
198
00:40:02,277 --> 00:40:05,488
The guest room suits me fine, ok.
199
00:40:36,103 --> 00:40:38,689
That unsettled me a lot as a kid.
200
00:40:38,856 --> 00:40:40,649
True, it is a bit raunchy.
201
00:40:56,414 --> 00:40:58,709
I'd forgotten how beautiful it is.
202
00:40:59,376 --> 00:41:01,837
I feel I haven't been here in ages.
203
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I can confirm that.
204
00:41:04,757 --> 00:41:06,884
Sorry I missed your retirement party.
205
00:41:07,050 --> 00:41:10,220
It's better this way.
I'd rather see you alone.
206
00:41:10,846 --> 00:41:12,515
Me too. It's been ages?
207
00:41:12,848 --> 00:41:13,891
Yes.
208
00:41:14,642 --> 00:41:15,809
I hesitated.
209
00:41:16,351 --> 00:41:18,729
Should I come or not?
210
00:41:19,187 --> 00:41:20,856
It's good you're here.
211
00:41:22,274 --> 00:41:23,859
It was a horrible party.
212
00:41:24,317 --> 00:41:25,485
I hated it.
213
00:41:26,111 --> 00:41:28,697
Solemn farewells, forced compliments...
214
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:30,407
What a drag.
215
00:41:30,949 --> 00:41:33,786
All I miss are the manuscripts.
216
00:41:34,286 --> 00:41:36,872
They send me a few now and then.
217
00:41:37,414 --> 00:41:39,124
There's good stuff this year.
218
00:41:40,959 --> 00:41:43,796
I forgot,
you only read scientific texts.
219
00:41:44,254 --> 00:41:45,213
No.
220
00:41:45,506 --> 00:41:49,009
On the plane, I read a book of Tim's
I had lying around.
221
00:41:49,342 --> 00:41:51,720
Tim Ardenne's books don't lie around.
222
00:41:51,887 --> 00:41:52,596
Which one?
223
00:41:53,221 --> 00:41:56,642
A book about trains
and wrong directions...
224
00:41:57,059 --> 00:41:58,644
Steel and Sweat.
225
00:41:58,811 --> 00:42:00,688
- Did you like it?
- Yes.
226
00:42:01,063 --> 00:42:05,233
I really liked his description
of the female character.
227
00:42:07,235 --> 00:42:08,111
Is it you?
228
00:42:09,362 --> 00:42:10,989
He claims it is.
229
00:42:11,156 --> 00:42:13,075
But you know him.
230
00:42:14,868 --> 00:42:16,369
Has he always loved you?
231
00:42:17,037 --> 00:42:18,080
Yes.
232
00:42:19,039 --> 00:42:20,498
"As he walked,
233
00:42:20,666 --> 00:42:23,794
"her bright face
was continually before him.
234
00:42:24,211 --> 00:42:27,172
"It was madness to think of such purity.
235
00:42:27,464 --> 00:42:29,257
"He had known vice and kindness,
236
00:42:29,550 --> 00:42:31,093
"but never purity."
237
00:42:31,885 --> 00:42:34,471
Purity... That's me to a T.
238
00:43:14,720 --> 00:43:15,513
Careful!
239
00:43:39,578 --> 00:43:40,996
"Die...
240
00:43:41,288 --> 00:43:43,248
"That's what you have to do.
241
00:43:44,416 --> 00:43:46,334
"That is the only way
242
00:43:46,501 --> 00:43:49,505
"to truly gain access to life.
243
00:43:50,631 --> 00:43:52,174
"One does not live
244
00:43:52,591 --> 00:43:55,594
"if one is not prepared to die.
245
00:43:56,554 --> 00:43:58,764
"Missing your own death
246
00:43:59,097 --> 00:44:01,934
"would be worse than anything else."
247
00:44:05,437 --> 00:44:06,730
Mr Ardenne?
248
00:44:10,025 --> 00:44:10,734
Tim?
249
00:44:12,736 --> 00:44:13,571
Yes?
250
00:44:14,154 --> 00:44:16,114
Dying as the only way
251
00:44:16,281 --> 00:44:18,534
to truly gain access to life.
252
00:44:19,785 --> 00:44:22,120
That's quite contradictory.
253
00:44:22,287 --> 00:44:23,288
Yes.
254
00:44:27,084 --> 00:44:28,544
You think so?
255
00:44:30,128 --> 00:44:31,463
I guess it is.
256
00:44:40,806 --> 00:44:42,933
If it requires explanation...
257
00:44:50,566 --> 00:44:52,275
It's all in here.
258
00:44:56,196 --> 00:44:59,241
The last part of the book is very funny.
259
00:44:59,867 --> 00:45:01,535
The surprising thing
260
00:45:02,410 --> 00:45:06,749
is that people in France
laugh as much as they do in Germany.
261
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:09,543
Could you define comedy for us?
262
00:45:10,127 --> 00:45:11,670
Absolutely not.
263
00:45:13,672 --> 00:45:16,383
But you agree the ending is funny?
264
00:45:22,389 --> 00:45:24,683
I can't stop people from laughing.
265
00:45:26,101 --> 00:45:28,478
What makes a good book for you?
266
00:45:28,896 --> 00:45:30,105
Alcohol.
267
00:45:31,148 --> 00:45:34,067
Is your success based
on a misunderstanding?
268
00:45:35,944 --> 00:45:39,489
I don't think we're loved or hated
for the right reasons.
269
00:45:42,409 --> 00:45:43,368
Ever.
270
00:45:52,085 --> 00:45:54,087
You first write in French,
271
00:45:54,254 --> 00:45:55,756
then again in German.
272
00:45:57,007 --> 00:45:58,967
Isn't that a little strange?
273
00:46:01,053 --> 00:46:03,263
I'd rather end the interview.
274
00:46:04,723 --> 00:46:06,559
I'm suffering too much.
275
00:46:07,726 --> 00:46:09,144
Why are you suffering?
276
00:46:14,608 --> 00:46:16,610
I'm in love, you understand?
277
00:46:17,069 --> 00:46:18,946
That's wonderful!
278
00:46:21,364 --> 00:46:22,950
I love Joan Verra.
279
00:46:26,328 --> 00:46:28,080
Your French publisher?
280
00:46:29,372 --> 00:46:30,874
She discovered me.
281
00:46:31,333 --> 00:46:32,585
Fantastic.
282
00:46:33,376 --> 00:46:34,795
She doesn't love me.
283
00:46:35,838 --> 00:46:38,048
I'm sure she likes you.
284
00:46:39,132 --> 00:46:43,136
The title, The Misery of Beautiful Days,
where is it from?
285
00:46:44,722 --> 00:46:46,557
She doesn't love me.
286
00:46:48,058 --> 00:46:49,602
She likes me.
287
00:46:50,477 --> 00:46:52,062
She often says so.
288
00:46:54,064 --> 00:46:55,941
That's something, I suppose.
289
00:46:57,901 --> 00:47:00,403
She can even say, "I like you a lot."
290
00:47:02,865 --> 00:47:04,783
And that's really...
291
00:47:06,744 --> 00:47:08,954
That's really unbearable.
292
00:47:13,959 --> 00:47:15,002
Let's stop.
293
00:47:15,586 --> 00:47:17,045
It's for the best.
294
00:47:17,212 --> 00:47:18,964
I'll see you again soon.
295
00:47:20,465 --> 00:47:22,259
Off line, thank you.
296
00:47:32,185 --> 00:47:33,436
Why are you here?
297
00:47:33,604 --> 00:47:35,022
I had some free time.
298
00:47:35,438 --> 00:47:37,983
Rubbish, you can't skip school.
299
00:47:38,526 --> 00:47:40,318
Go back to Paris. I'm busy.
300
00:47:40,485 --> 00:47:43,405
He takes up all my energy.
I'm working.
301
00:47:43,947 --> 00:47:46,116
It's ok, I know you're working.
302
00:47:46,283 --> 00:47:49,077
I'm not a child. I can manage on my own.
303
00:47:49,286 --> 00:47:50,453
How was I?
304
00:47:51,038 --> 00:47:52,330
Devastating.
305
00:47:53,206 --> 00:47:55,959
I could've shed real tears, you know.
306
00:47:56,627 --> 00:47:58,461
It would've been no use.
307
00:47:59,630 --> 00:48:01,048
You have no emotions.
308
00:48:01,214 --> 00:48:04,134
I have emotions,
but different from yours.
309
00:48:06,219 --> 00:48:07,638
Forgive me.
310
00:48:23,111 --> 00:48:25,989
- What paid for your ticket?
- Your jewels.
311
00:48:26,323 --> 00:48:27,407
Stupid.
312
00:48:30,452 --> 00:48:32,370
What's wrong now?
313
00:48:32,871 --> 00:48:34,414
I won't sign this crap.
314
00:48:34,707 --> 00:48:36,166
It's your first novel.
315
00:48:36,333 --> 00:48:37,835
It was a rough draft.
316
00:48:40,170 --> 00:48:41,964
The book is important for me.
317
00:48:42,130 --> 00:48:44,967
It changed my life. Literally.
318
00:48:45,676 --> 00:48:47,135
It's a masterpiece.
319
00:48:47,302 --> 00:48:48,303
A masterpiece?
320
00:48:48,470 --> 00:48:49,680
Nathan, please.
321
00:48:49,847 --> 00:48:52,808
I felt brought back to life,
thanks to this book.
322
00:48:52,975 --> 00:48:55,143
I rediscovered my vitality.
323
00:48:55,561 --> 00:48:59,815
Through the life of a garbageman
crushed to death by his truck?
324
00:49:00,232 --> 00:49:01,483
She seems moved.
325
00:49:03,318 --> 00:49:04,820
Good for her.
326
00:49:05,278 --> 00:49:06,864
And I have no emotions?
327
00:49:08,073 --> 00:49:09,992
You're all pissing me off!
328
00:49:18,792 --> 00:49:21,587
I can sign it if you like.
329
00:49:22,004 --> 00:49:24,757
I can imitate his signature perfectly.
330
00:49:35,601 --> 00:49:36,769
Are you ok?
331
00:49:40,564 --> 00:49:41,565
It's here.
332
00:49:42,399 --> 00:49:44,317
I feel it seeping in.
333
00:49:45,443 --> 00:49:48,071
It's harder and harder.
334
00:49:48,238 --> 00:49:50,365
Each time, it's harder.
335
00:49:50,658 --> 00:49:51,491
What is?
336
00:49:51,659 --> 00:49:52,785
Dying.
337
00:49:53,493 --> 00:49:55,037
Haven't you ever died?
338
00:49:55,579 --> 00:49:56,622
Never.
339
00:49:57,540 --> 00:49:59,708
I knew it. You can't understand.
340
00:49:59,875 --> 00:50:01,126
Give me your hand.
341
00:50:01,501 --> 00:50:04,087
Things end.
342
00:50:04,963 --> 00:50:08,091
That's how it is. They end.
You must accept it.
343
00:50:08,801 --> 00:50:11,261
You have to be strong.
Promise me?
344
00:50:11,428 --> 00:50:12,805
I promise.
345
00:50:14,139 --> 00:50:15,683
Beyond the grave,
346
00:50:15,974 --> 00:50:17,560
I'll still love you.
347
00:50:22,189 --> 00:50:23,607
He's a handful.
348
00:50:24,232 --> 00:50:25,901
It'd be no fun if he wasn't.
349
00:50:26,068 --> 00:50:27,277
Can you stand him?
350
00:50:27,444 --> 00:50:30,113
I actually find him touching in a way.
351
00:50:37,370 --> 00:50:39,915
You're like the moon and I'm the sun.
352
00:50:40,248 --> 00:50:41,291
Touching?
353
00:50:42,751 --> 00:50:44,211
He has his qualities.
354
00:50:47,923 --> 00:50:48,966
Come on!
355
00:50:56,473 --> 00:50:57,474
Move it!
356
00:50:59,977 --> 00:51:02,062
Don't you want to call a taxi?
357
00:51:02,312 --> 00:51:05,190
No use, we're only five minutes away.
358
00:51:05,691 --> 00:51:08,360
I'm in pain and I'm tired.
359
00:51:12,489 --> 00:51:13,574
Joan!
360
00:51:26,837 --> 00:51:27,796
Joan...
361
00:51:29,381 --> 00:51:31,133
I owe you an apology.
362
00:51:31,299 --> 00:51:32,425
That's true.
363
00:51:32,593 --> 00:51:34,845
For my behaviour, not for my love.
364
00:51:35,012 --> 00:51:36,555
- Tim...
- Let me speak.
365
00:51:38,056 --> 00:51:41,184
It won't take long
and I'll only say it once.
366
00:51:41,602 --> 00:51:43,646
I won't repeat this.
After,
367
00:51:43,937 --> 00:51:45,564
I'll leave you in peace.
368
00:51:52,696 --> 00:51:54,907
Living without you is unbearable.
369
00:51:55,616 --> 00:51:58,786
Yet I try to break away from you.
I really try.
370
00:51:59,537 --> 00:52:00,663
But I can't.
371
00:52:02,414 --> 00:52:05,709
I've always tried
to be independent of women,
372
00:52:06,168 --> 00:52:08,504
to limit their power over me.
373
00:52:09,296 --> 00:52:11,549
I felt in control of my feelings.
374
00:52:12,925 --> 00:52:14,009
But then...
375
00:52:15,553 --> 00:52:19,682
you arrived in my life
and I realized nothing I had lived...
376
00:52:21,975 --> 00:52:22,976
nothing...
377
00:52:23,561 --> 00:52:25,729
had any real value.
378
00:52:27,898 --> 00:52:31,569
All that mattered
was being by your side.
379
00:52:32,152 --> 00:52:33,486
Or not too far away.
380
00:52:33,779 --> 00:52:35,614
Like these last few years.
381
00:52:38,576 --> 00:52:41,244
I also know that I'm unbearable.
382
00:52:41,745 --> 00:52:44,623
I understand
that you feel like slapping me.
383
00:52:47,876 --> 00:52:48,961
Go ahead.
384
00:53:45,142 --> 00:53:47,435
What are you doing in Cologne?
385
00:53:48,020 --> 00:53:50,147
Three days apart was too much?
386
00:53:50,313 --> 00:53:51,690
I can't believe that.
387
00:53:57,655 --> 00:53:59,072
You searched my office?
388
00:54:01,324 --> 00:54:02,785
You read my notebooks?
389
00:54:04,494 --> 00:54:05,871
Of course you did.
390
00:54:06,747 --> 00:54:08,415
I never would have.
391
00:54:08,749 --> 00:54:09,833
Did you enjoy it?
392
00:54:10,167 --> 00:54:11,794
Yes, I enjoyed it.
393
00:54:12,961 --> 00:54:14,337
Did you learn anything?
394
00:54:14,505 --> 00:54:15,463
You bet.
395
00:54:15,839 --> 00:54:16,965
Such as what?
396
00:54:17,550 --> 00:54:18,801
About you and Doug.
397
00:54:19,718 --> 00:54:20,886
You won't say Dad?
398
00:54:21,136 --> 00:54:22,470
Why would I?
399
00:54:23,388 --> 00:54:25,348
I don't know what you learned.
400
00:54:26,058 --> 00:54:29,102
I never lied to you. I told you...
401
00:54:30,145 --> 00:54:30,938
everything.
402
00:54:31,104 --> 00:54:32,064
In general.
403
00:54:32,230 --> 00:54:33,899
Now I know the details.
404
00:54:34,149 --> 00:54:35,943
The magic of a first love.
405
00:54:36,234 --> 00:54:37,903
Irony doesn't suit you.
406
00:54:38,445 --> 00:54:39,613
You're hurt.
407
00:54:39,780 --> 00:54:41,740
There's stuff on me
I don't like.
408
00:54:44,577 --> 00:54:45,911
I'm listening.
409
00:54:55,212 --> 00:54:56,463
"Friday, July 10th.
410
00:54:56,797 --> 00:55:00,467
"I fear Nathan may turn superficial,
focused on his appearance."
411
00:55:00,634 --> 00:55:01,384
Nice.
412
00:55:02,427 --> 00:55:04,722
"Each hair he counts on his chest
413
00:55:04,888 --> 00:55:06,431
"is a personal victory."
414
00:55:06,599 --> 00:55:08,934
I never did that. It's humiliating.
415
00:55:09,434 --> 00:55:10,728
So don't read it.
416
00:55:10,894 --> 00:55:12,980
This is less well written, I feel.
417
00:55:13,146 --> 00:55:14,439
You're the expert.
418
00:55:14,690 --> 00:55:15,941
Don't be mean.
419
00:55:16,483 --> 00:55:17,610
I'm not.
420
00:55:20,529 --> 00:55:22,322
- Please...
- Hold on.
421
00:55:23,240 --> 00:55:23,949
Enough.
422
00:55:24,116 --> 00:55:27,536
If you came about your puberty,
I don't have time.
423
00:55:27,703 --> 00:55:29,955
I came cos you fell asleep one day.
424
00:55:30,122 --> 00:55:32,290
One summer. In August.
425
00:55:33,584 --> 00:55:34,877
Where is it?
426
00:57:34,580 --> 00:57:35,706
You fell asleep.
427
00:57:36,248 --> 00:57:37,290
Why?
428
00:57:38,166 --> 00:57:39,459
Out of carelessness?
429
00:57:40,544 --> 00:57:42,337
I forbid you to say that.
430
00:57:44,381 --> 00:57:45,633
You forbid me?
431
00:58:26,924 --> 00:58:28,341
Can I have a drag?
432
00:58:29,134 --> 00:58:30,761
- You smoke?
- No.
433
00:58:47,695 --> 00:58:49,279
How long did it last?
434
00:58:49,487 --> 00:58:50,573
I don't know.
435
00:58:51,574 --> 00:58:54,868
How long was I unconscious?
Ten minutes? Fifteen?
436
00:58:55,035 --> 00:58:56,369
I've no idea.
437
00:58:56,954 --> 00:58:59,039
I remember it seemed endless.
438
00:58:59,707 --> 00:59:01,875
Without the fire brigade...
439
00:59:03,501 --> 00:59:05,337
You weren't going to tell me?
440
00:59:07,506 --> 00:59:08,549
No.
441
00:59:09,341 --> 00:59:12,052
You're well, in shape.
Nothing else matters.
442
00:59:14,179 --> 00:59:17,432
You can't even remember it.
What are you after?
443
00:59:18,892 --> 00:59:20,978
You need reassuring, is that it?
444
00:59:21,645 --> 00:59:22,646
Yes.
445
00:59:25,315 --> 00:59:27,484
Doubt my love and I'll kill you.
446
00:59:35,743 --> 00:59:38,370
Same again, please. Vodka tonic.
447
00:59:43,917 --> 00:59:45,919
It burns? That's good.
448
00:59:46,378 --> 00:59:48,171
It explodes in your head.
449
00:59:48,338 --> 00:59:49,422
Perfect.
450
00:59:50,591 --> 00:59:52,342
You've drunk before, right?
451
00:59:54,177 --> 00:59:55,513
It's the first time?
452
00:59:57,222 --> 00:59:59,141
You've always been a bit behind.
453
01:00:03,436 --> 01:00:07,650
Nathan, you're a young man now.
You'll be a real man soon.
454
01:00:07,816 --> 01:00:09,442
I won't talk sex with you.
455
01:00:09,610 --> 01:00:10,569
No.
456
01:00:10,861 --> 01:00:12,029
Listen to me.
457
01:00:12,404 --> 01:00:14,948
Your schooling in the next five years
458
01:00:15,282 --> 01:00:17,242
will determine your future.
459
01:00:17,785 --> 01:00:20,495
Do your learning now while you can.
460
01:00:20,663 --> 01:00:22,414
In five years, it'll be too late.
461
01:00:23,331 --> 01:00:26,376
Knowing you,
you'll realize and find it unbearable.
462
01:00:26,794 --> 01:00:29,421
I won't be able to help, obviously.
463
01:00:29,588 --> 01:00:30,714
Obviously.
464
01:00:34,301 --> 01:00:36,595
You'll have to face problems alone.
465
01:00:37,304 --> 01:00:40,558
I'll be there if you need me,
but that won't help.
466
01:00:43,686 --> 01:00:45,729
We have to face things alone.
467
01:00:51,694 --> 01:00:53,779
But you know that, right?
468
01:00:55,656 --> 01:00:56,615
No.
469
01:01:12,297 --> 01:01:13,215
Come on.
470
01:01:19,346 --> 01:01:21,765
Others' looks shouldn't matter.
471
01:01:22,975 --> 01:01:24,602
It's about your life.
472
01:01:32,735 --> 01:01:33,902
Stop it.
473
01:03:14,670 --> 01:03:15,796
Nathan?
474
01:03:18,215 --> 01:03:19,925
Nathan, are you awake?
475
01:03:21,176 --> 01:03:24,012
If you have a long nap now,
you'll be a mess.
476
01:03:24,179 --> 01:03:25,973
You won't sleep tonight.
477
01:03:28,601 --> 01:03:29,768
Nathan?
478
01:03:30,936 --> 01:03:32,104
Can you hear me?
479
01:05:07,658 --> 01:05:08,366
Yes?
480
01:05:12,204 --> 01:05:13,413
We had an appointment?
481
01:05:13,831 --> 01:05:15,874
Do I need one to see my mother?
482
01:05:16,041 --> 01:05:19,127
Of course not.
Sorry. My head's stuffed with work!
483
01:05:19,377 --> 01:05:20,796
I'll come back later.
484
01:05:22,047 --> 01:05:23,716
Champagne? Why?
485
01:05:25,092 --> 01:05:27,135
I forgot your birthday again?
486
01:05:27,302 --> 01:05:28,220
No.
487
01:05:28,470 --> 01:05:29,722
I had an interview.
488
01:05:29,888 --> 01:05:31,431
For a lab?
You never said.
489
01:05:32,057 --> 01:05:33,517
I wanted to be sure.
490
01:05:33,851 --> 01:05:36,353
So guess who they chose.
491
01:05:38,313 --> 01:05:39,356
Your son.
492
01:05:39,690 --> 01:05:41,775
Wonderful! I'm proud of you.
493
01:05:41,942 --> 01:05:44,653
Now I'll have access to real resources,
494
01:05:44,820 --> 01:05:46,572
unlike what I have now,
495
01:05:46,780 --> 01:05:48,991
and with a totally free rein.
496
01:05:50,033 --> 01:05:51,994
And I'll be heading a team.
497
01:05:52,160 --> 01:05:53,495
My dream come true.
498
01:05:53,662 --> 01:05:56,707
I have to admit,
it's scary to think about,
499
01:05:56,874 --> 01:05:58,250
so I try not to.
500
01:05:59,417 --> 01:06:00,919
You'll do brilliantly.
501
01:06:01,086 --> 01:06:03,296
It's a real dream. The building
502
01:06:03,463 --> 01:06:05,340
is modern, centralized.
503
01:06:05,508 --> 01:06:07,425
It's state-of-the-art over there.
504
01:06:10,220 --> 01:06:11,221
Over there?
505
01:06:13,766 --> 01:06:14,933
It's in Montreal.
506
01:06:30,616 --> 01:06:31,324
Joan?
507
01:06:32,409 --> 01:06:34,036
If you're happy...
508
01:06:36,246 --> 01:06:37,414
It's good.
509
01:06:41,168 --> 01:06:42,545
I need a cigarette.
510
01:06:43,045 --> 01:06:44,129
You have one.
511
01:06:45,589 --> 01:06:47,049
I need another.
512
01:06:49,176 --> 01:06:51,011
You don't seem pleased.
513
01:06:53,639 --> 01:06:55,891
I am. I'm very happy for you.
514
01:06:56,183 --> 01:06:57,643
But seeing you leave...
515
01:06:59,186 --> 01:07:01,188
Children leave their parents.
516
01:07:02,105 --> 01:07:03,481
Sooner or later.
517
01:07:04,942 --> 01:07:06,819
I'm 30, after all.
518
01:07:08,153 --> 01:07:08,946
So?
519
01:07:15,744 --> 01:07:17,830
Forgive me. I'm being stupid.
520
01:07:20,708 --> 01:07:22,209
I'll come back often.
521
01:07:22,793 --> 01:07:25,629
You can visit too.
You don't know Quebec.
522
01:07:26,338 --> 01:07:27,673
It's really nice.
523
01:07:31,426 --> 01:07:32,678
Want that champagne?
524
01:07:33,887 --> 01:07:35,430
I'll get the glasses.
525
01:07:56,660 --> 01:07:57,703
Where were you?
526
01:07:57,870 --> 01:07:59,788
An errand in the village.
527
01:07:59,955 --> 01:08:01,665
- On foot?
- Yes.
528
01:08:01,957 --> 01:08:03,333
Whatever for?
529
01:08:03,500 --> 01:08:05,043
"Did you rest, dear?"
530
01:08:05,919 --> 01:08:07,295
"Yes, thank you."
531
01:08:07,546 --> 01:08:10,215
"Your jet lag from the flight
to see your mum?"
532
01:08:10,508 --> 01:08:11,925
"I'll get over it soon."
533
01:08:12,092 --> 01:08:13,552
"Will it be sunny?"
534
01:08:13,719 --> 01:08:15,513
I hate when you do that!
535
01:08:15,721 --> 01:08:17,389
I was worried sick.
536
01:08:17,556 --> 01:08:18,974
Why, exactly?
537
01:08:20,601 --> 01:08:21,769
I'm a big boy now.
538
01:08:22,060 --> 01:08:23,562
Why leave me alone?
539
01:08:23,729 --> 01:08:25,689
I couldn't sleep,
540
01:08:25,856 --> 01:08:28,275
you weren't around
and I needed a walk.
541
01:08:28,441 --> 01:08:29,693
I was here.
542
01:08:30,027 --> 01:08:32,154
You can't vanish like that.
543
01:08:33,196 --> 01:08:34,406
I didn't vanish.
544
01:08:34,740 --> 01:08:36,366
Mum, calm down.
545
01:08:36,534 --> 01:08:38,368
No, I don't want to!
546
01:08:45,959 --> 01:08:48,170
Find something to do, I'll tidy up.
547
01:08:51,882 --> 01:08:53,842
If you came to mess me about,
548
01:08:54,092 --> 01:08:56,136
pack up and go back to Montreal.
549
01:08:57,387 --> 01:08:58,388
Drop it.
550
01:09:00,140 --> 01:09:02,350
Still like doughnut peaches?
551
01:09:02,518 --> 01:09:03,435
Yes.
552
01:09:03,852 --> 01:09:06,188
I got some for you.
Was it a good idea?
553
01:09:06,814 --> 01:09:08,148
I wonder.
554
01:10:06,749 --> 01:10:08,959
"He had finally met her.
555
01:10:09,209 --> 01:10:10,210
"The woman,
556
01:10:10,628 --> 01:10:13,631
"the one he had waited forwithout realizing it,
557
01:10:13,797 --> 01:10:15,633
"the one destined for him.
558
01:10:16,008 --> 01:10:17,760
"He had looked into her soul
559
01:10:17,926 --> 01:10:21,346
"and had graspedher rare special something,
560
01:10:21,930 --> 01:10:24,683
"as beautiful as the eyes reflecting it,
561
01:10:24,933 --> 01:10:27,645
"as beautiful as the flesh embodying it.
562
01:10:28,228 --> 01:10:30,523
"Not one word, not one sign,
563
01:10:30,814 --> 01:10:34,777
"not one word of advice from the Divinehad guided him.
564
01:10:35,027 --> 01:10:37,112
"He didn't believe in the Divine.
565
01:10:37,571 --> 01:10:39,657
"There was no beyond.
566
01:10:39,823 --> 01:10:41,659
"He was sure of it.
567
01:10:42,117 --> 01:10:43,786
"Life had to be lived,
568
01:10:44,202 --> 01:10:47,831
"here and now,before sinking into the void."
569
01:10:49,958 --> 01:10:51,209
It's magnificent.
570
01:10:51,752 --> 01:10:53,003
You can't deny it.
571
01:10:53,170 --> 01:10:55,005
It's great, easy to read.
572
01:10:56,173 --> 01:10:57,382
Very pleasant.
573
01:11:00,511 --> 01:11:01,637
Pleasant?
574
01:11:02,220 --> 01:11:04,765
- Is that an insult?
- Not at all.
575
01:11:05,057 --> 01:11:07,350
You certainly don't disappoint us.
576
01:11:08,060 --> 01:11:10,854
Really,
it's exactly what we expect of you.
577
01:11:11,522 --> 01:11:13,148
You must be very pleased.
578
01:11:15,526 --> 01:11:17,528
You insult me so naturally.
579
01:11:17,695 --> 01:11:20,155
I was bored stiff!
It's the same recipe.
580
01:11:20,322 --> 01:11:22,282
I've read it ten times before.
581
01:11:22,490 --> 01:11:24,492
I may be wrong, but this line...
582
01:11:27,913 --> 01:11:29,957
"There was no beyond.
He was sure of it.
583
01:11:30,123 --> 01:11:32,710
"Life had to be lived, here and now,
before sinking into the void."
584
01:11:32,876 --> 01:11:34,962
Wasn't that in your last novel?
585
01:11:35,128 --> 01:11:36,797
And the one before too?
586
01:11:39,341 --> 01:11:41,301
I assert a right to repetition.
587
01:11:41,468 --> 01:11:44,972
People will end up realizing
I've only written one book
588
01:11:45,138 --> 01:11:47,390
that took on different forms.
589
01:11:48,058 --> 01:11:50,060
All great artists dig a furrow.
590
01:11:50,227 --> 01:11:51,645
More like a tunnel.
591
01:11:51,812 --> 01:11:54,690
The train driver
blending with his engine,
592
01:11:54,857 --> 01:11:56,274
you call that new?
593
01:11:56,441 --> 01:11:59,111
He doesn't die,
crushed by the machine.
594
01:12:01,029 --> 01:12:02,114
I guess...
595
01:12:04,575 --> 01:12:06,034
Show me your breasts?
596
01:12:06,827 --> 01:12:07,911
No.
597
01:12:08,286 --> 01:12:09,287
You hesitated.
598
01:12:09,747 --> 01:12:12,708
Of course, you turn me on
and that annoys me.
599
01:12:13,375 --> 01:12:14,877
But I know your game.
600
01:12:15,043 --> 01:12:16,795
Sex as a diversionary tactic
601
01:12:17,129 --> 01:12:18,171
is pathetic.
602
01:12:19,548 --> 01:12:22,342
The first part,
the kid watching trains,
603
01:12:22,510 --> 01:12:23,260
who cares?
604
01:12:23,426 --> 01:12:25,053
We want to be on the tracks.
605
01:12:25,220 --> 01:12:26,722
We want movement!
606
01:12:32,269 --> 01:12:34,772
And the affair with his boss' wife...
607
01:12:34,938 --> 01:12:36,649
Talk about tasteless!
608
01:12:40,986 --> 01:12:42,613
It compromises the ending.
609
01:12:45,741 --> 01:12:46,950
We need a rewrite.
610
01:12:51,664 --> 01:12:52,540
Hello?
611
01:12:55,793 --> 01:12:58,253
It's the Saint-Nazaire housing office.
612
01:12:58,420 --> 01:13:03,133
I'm calling about overdue renton apartment B14 at Ambroise Paré.
613
01:13:04,342 --> 01:13:07,680
There must be some mistake.
I don't understand.
614
01:13:07,846 --> 01:13:10,516
You are Madeleine Verra's daughter?
615
01:13:10,933 --> 01:13:12,685
It must be a homonym.
616
01:13:12,851 --> 01:13:15,896
My mother moved to Japan
over twenty years ago.
617
01:13:16,063 --> 01:13:18,607
She was Madeleine Joséphine Verra,
618
01:13:19,066 --> 01:13:21,527
née Saulet on October 14, 1942,
619
01:13:21,694 --> 01:13:22,903
in Saint-Nazaire
620
01:13:23,403 --> 01:13:25,072
who died last week?
621
01:13:30,619 --> 01:13:31,620
Hello?
622
01:13:33,455 --> 01:13:34,623
Yes...
623
01:13:36,124 --> 01:13:40,462
You need to clear the apartment.There's a waiting list. Sorry.
624
01:13:41,839 --> 01:13:43,716
Yes, all right.
625
01:13:50,430 --> 01:13:52,307
We get a lot of deaths here.
626
01:13:53,141 --> 01:13:55,018
But hers really wasn't fair.
627
01:13:56,228 --> 01:13:58,772
People liked her.
She helped out a lot.
628
01:13:59,397 --> 01:14:01,233
They'd leave her their kids.
629
01:14:01,525 --> 01:14:03,861
She'd babysit for a bit of money.
630
01:14:04,027 --> 01:14:05,278
She needed it.
631
01:14:06,822 --> 01:14:09,700
I never saw anyone so good with kids.
632
01:14:10,033 --> 01:14:11,409
What a joke...
633
01:14:14,913 --> 01:14:18,542
We invited her once for Christmas.
Something simple.
634
01:14:18,709 --> 01:14:19,627
She refused.
635
01:14:19,793 --> 01:14:22,254
That wasn't nice.
We did it for her sake.
636
01:14:22,420 --> 01:14:24,339
You accept an invitation.
637
01:14:24,507 --> 01:14:26,675
We'll bring them back later.
638
01:14:27,134 --> 01:14:28,719
It's the last door.
639
01:16:22,875 --> 01:16:24,042
I'm here.
640
01:16:56,700 --> 01:16:58,952
What the hell was she doing here?
641
01:16:59,494 --> 01:17:01,163
What is this shit?
642
01:17:01,580 --> 01:17:03,040
When did she come back?
643
01:17:03,541 --> 01:17:05,626
These are her rent receipts.
644
01:17:07,044 --> 01:17:10,881
The oldest one is from November 1989.
645
01:17:11,590 --> 01:17:13,509
That's over fifteen years ago.
646
01:17:14,718 --> 01:17:17,387
How come she never told us?
647
01:17:20,307 --> 01:17:22,392
What did we do to deserve this?
648
01:17:22,560 --> 01:17:25,145
It's sick. I was alone with Nathan.
649
01:17:26,354 --> 01:17:27,773
It's really sick.
650
01:17:28,190 --> 01:17:29,399
Don't say that.
651
01:17:31,569 --> 01:17:33,236
Who knows what happened.
652
01:17:34,613 --> 01:17:36,532
Nothing, apparently.
653
01:17:46,291 --> 01:17:48,376
She'd planned her own funeral.
654
01:17:48,544 --> 01:17:49,712
A long time ago.
655
01:17:50,462 --> 01:17:52,380
On arriving back here.
656
01:17:55,425 --> 01:17:57,385
She even deprived us of her death.
657
01:17:58,095 --> 01:17:59,847
Her ashes were scattered
658
01:18:00,013 --> 01:18:01,557
in the local cemetery.
659
01:18:04,560 --> 01:18:06,645
There's a sealed envelope.
660
01:18:26,957 --> 01:18:30,502
Excuse me,
the garden of remembrance, please?
661
01:18:30,669 --> 01:18:34,006
Over there.
The memorial area is being remodelled.
662
01:18:35,883 --> 01:18:37,009
Thank you.
663
01:18:37,926 --> 01:18:39,344
Memorial area...
664
01:19:07,164 --> 01:19:09,207
"Joan, my darling little girl,
665
01:19:09,374 --> 01:19:11,794
"Don't seek an explanation
in these words.
666
01:19:11,960 --> 01:19:13,503
"Life is elusive.
667
01:19:13,671 --> 01:19:16,298
"I have no answers. I regret nothing.
668
01:19:16,590 --> 01:19:19,467
"Leaving for Japan
was a wonderful adventure.
669
01:19:19,677 --> 01:19:21,929
"You've no idea how...
670
01:19:23,430 --> 01:19:24,347
"how...
671
01:19:25,015 --> 01:19:26,224
"happy I was there.
672
01:19:26,391 --> 01:19:29,603
"I found my place and culture.
It's so beautiful.
673
01:19:29,853 --> 01:19:32,439
"Cherry blossom season is magical.
674
01:19:32,606 --> 01:19:35,734
"Kazuo and I opened
a small bonsai tree shop.
675
01:19:36,276 --> 01:19:39,905
"I became a specialist,
almost a celebrity.
676
01:19:40,072 --> 01:19:42,240
"Just think, a European
677
01:19:42,407 --> 01:19:45,202
"outdoing the Japanese
in their ancient art.
678
01:19:45,536 --> 01:19:47,830
"They'd cross the country to see me.
679
01:19:48,205 --> 01:19:50,332
"But Kazuo piled up gambling debts.
680
01:19:50,498 --> 01:19:52,417
"He owed money to Yakuza.
681
01:19:52,626 --> 01:19:55,713
"As he couldn't pay,
he became their henchman.
682
01:19:55,879 --> 01:19:57,464
"But he kept gambling.
683
01:19:57,715 --> 01:20:00,593
"I found all that out
when we had to flee.
684
01:20:00,759 --> 01:20:03,178
"We moved to South Korea.
685
01:20:03,345 --> 01:20:05,848
"We lived humbly, but we were in love.
686
01:20:06,014 --> 01:20:07,224
"That was the main thing."
687
01:20:07,390 --> 01:20:09,017
Even in death, she lies.
688
01:20:10,477 --> 01:20:13,480
"I'm lying, of course.
I lie in writing this.
689
01:20:13,647 --> 01:20:16,358
"Should I say that I made a mistake,
690
01:20:16,525 --> 01:20:19,319
"that Kazuo was always a total asshole,
691
01:20:19,486 --> 01:20:22,155
"and that I lived in solitude and shame?
692
01:20:22,405 --> 01:20:25,075
"Frankly, which version do you prefer?
693
01:20:28,078 --> 01:20:30,413
"I never stopped thinking of you all,
694
01:20:30,831 --> 01:20:33,917
"refusing to admit my weakness
and my failure.
695
01:20:34,084 --> 01:20:36,211
"Make your life magical,
696
01:20:38,380 --> 01:20:40,007
"my darling little girl.
697
01:20:40,883 --> 01:20:42,801
"I've been happy, you know.
698
01:20:45,721 --> 01:20:48,849
"Remember that. I loved living."
699
01:21:18,336 --> 01:21:20,005
"I would like the dead
700
01:21:20,255 --> 01:21:21,549
"to stay dead.
701
01:21:22,340 --> 01:21:25,218
"Why should they rule over me?
702
01:21:26,011 --> 01:21:27,930
"Beauty is alive
703
01:21:28,430 --> 01:21:29,932
"and it is eternal."
704
01:21:36,229 --> 01:21:39,775
"Beauty is alive and it is eternal."
705
01:21:42,319 --> 01:21:43,529
You believe that?
706
01:21:44,613 --> 01:21:45,531
No.
707
01:21:47,324 --> 01:21:48,366
All the same...
708
01:21:52,287 --> 01:21:53,872
What do we drink to?
709
01:21:55,583 --> 01:21:58,126
We drink to my mother, I suppose.
710
01:21:59,670 --> 01:22:00,963
And to Japan.
711
01:22:02,673 --> 01:22:06,259
We should have brought sake
to drink on her grave.
712
01:22:06,802 --> 01:22:08,637
That would have had style.
713
01:22:22,150 --> 01:22:23,736
We did a new experiment.
714
01:22:24,945 --> 01:22:27,489
We managed to erase a memory
in a brain.
715
01:22:27,865 --> 01:22:28,782
No!
716
01:22:28,949 --> 01:22:30,534
A mouse's brain.
717
01:22:31,910 --> 01:22:33,120
Can mice swim?
718
01:22:33,286 --> 01:22:34,538
Yes, very well.
719
01:22:35,247 --> 01:22:36,707
But that's not the issue.
720
01:22:36,957 --> 01:22:39,543
We put a plastic platform in the pool,
721
01:22:39,710 --> 01:22:41,712
the same colour as the liquid.
722
01:22:42,880 --> 01:22:44,006
Very hard to see.
723
01:22:44,172 --> 01:22:47,092
The mouse has to find it to rest on it.
724
01:22:47,676 --> 01:22:49,177
It's the only solution.
725
01:22:49,469 --> 01:22:51,639
It takes time, but she finds it.
726
01:22:52,097 --> 01:22:54,057
- Poor thing.
- What?
727
01:22:54,224 --> 01:22:55,809
You hate mice.
728
01:22:57,102 --> 01:22:57,978
The next day,
729
01:22:58,145 --> 01:23:00,564
we do it againwith the same mouse
730
01:23:01,148 --> 01:23:02,650
who remembers everything.
731
01:23:02,816 --> 01:23:05,402
She swims straight to the platform
732
01:23:05,569 --> 01:23:06,570
without hesitation.
733
01:23:06,737 --> 01:23:08,196
She knows where it is.
734
01:23:08,531 --> 01:23:09,698
She has learned.
735
01:23:09,865 --> 01:23:11,074
Fascinating.
736
01:23:11,366 --> 01:23:13,661
Day three, we start again.
737
01:23:14,077 --> 01:23:17,455
But we inject a substance
that blocks the memory.
738
01:23:17,956 --> 01:23:20,292
I knew torture would be involved.
739
01:23:20,876 --> 01:23:23,336
She totally forgot her memories.
740
01:23:24,254 --> 01:23:26,507
It's as if she has lost her memory.
741
01:23:26,840 --> 01:23:28,425
She swims and swims.
742
01:23:28,967 --> 01:23:30,052
She swims.
743
01:23:31,136 --> 01:23:32,179
She swims...
744
01:23:35,098 --> 01:23:36,266
She swims...
745
01:24:35,826 --> 01:24:36,869
Mum...
746
01:24:42,750 --> 01:24:43,709
Mum?
747
01:26:28,271 --> 01:26:29,439
It's over.
748
01:26:39,074 --> 01:26:40,784
You shouldn't have died.
749
01:26:47,290 --> 01:26:48,876
No one dies aged six.
750
01:26:51,545 --> 01:26:52,588
Sorry.
751
01:26:55,758 --> 01:26:56,800
Sorry.
752
01:26:57,760 --> 01:26:59,136
It's not your fault.
753
01:27:00,763 --> 01:27:02,180
Of course it is.
754
01:27:03,306 --> 01:27:04,391
No.
755
01:27:06,560 --> 01:27:08,020
You were so young.
756
01:27:17,195 --> 01:27:18,572
You're so handsome.
757
01:27:28,666 --> 01:27:29,833
My little mum...
758
01:27:37,633 --> 01:27:38,842
It'll be ok.
759
01:27:41,178 --> 01:27:42,262
It'll be ok.
760
01:27:57,444 --> 01:27:59,655
After you died, it all fell apart.
761
01:28:00,322 --> 01:28:01,615
I was lost.
762
01:28:02,282 --> 01:28:03,742
What should I do?
763
01:28:05,285 --> 01:28:07,495
I was waiting for who knows what.
764
01:28:08,831 --> 01:28:12,042
Then one day, at a street corner,
you appeared.
765
01:28:12,250 --> 01:28:14,044
As if nothing had happened.
766
01:28:14,377 --> 01:28:16,296
The way you do so well.
767
01:28:16,797 --> 01:28:19,550
It was obvious. A secret.
768
01:28:19,842 --> 01:28:20,843
Our secret.
769
01:28:21,009 --> 01:28:22,219
Exactly.
770
01:28:22,385 --> 01:28:24,763
The grief faded and I accepted it.
771
01:28:25,263 --> 01:28:26,682
You did well to summon me.
772
01:28:26,849 --> 01:28:28,266
As if I had a choice.
773
01:28:28,433 --> 01:28:31,061
True, at first,
it scared me a little.
774
01:28:32,104 --> 01:28:34,064
Everything scares you a little.
775
01:28:34,231 --> 01:28:35,273
Not true!
776
01:28:35,440 --> 01:28:36,650
You hypocrite.
777
01:28:36,817 --> 01:28:38,694
I'm a hypocrite?
778
01:28:39,027 --> 01:28:40,487
Coming from you?
779
01:28:43,073 --> 01:28:44,324
Did you see him again?
780
01:28:44,491 --> 01:28:46,368
- Who?
- You know who.
781
01:28:47,536 --> 01:28:48,621
Your father?
782
01:28:49,454 --> 01:28:51,915
Yes, in Paris, on the street, by chance.
783
01:28:52,165 --> 01:28:53,333
What's he like?
784
01:28:54,459 --> 01:28:56,336
He has aged. He has changed.
785
01:28:57,004 --> 01:28:58,296
Like me, I suppose.
786
01:28:58,463 --> 01:28:59,381
No.
787
01:29:00,340 --> 01:29:01,466
You're sweet.
788
01:29:04,219 --> 01:29:05,596
You didn't tell him?
789
01:29:07,389 --> 01:29:10,225
That you had been born
and that you died? No.
790
01:29:10,809 --> 01:29:12,352
There was no need.
791
01:29:12,686 --> 01:29:13,896
It was cruel.
792
01:29:16,231 --> 01:29:17,440
I've no idea.
793
01:29:18,066 --> 01:29:19,484
Maybe I should have.
794
01:29:20,485 --> 01:29:21,612
I don't know.
795
01:29:25,741 --> 01:29:27,284
It's a beautiful house.
796
01:29:28,702 --> 01:29:30,078
It was.
797
01:29:55,478 --> 01:29:58,148
What are you doing alone in the dark?
798
01:29:59,900 --> 01:30:00,859
Nothing.
799
01:30:04,613 --> 01:30:06,031
Did you fight again?
800
01:30:06,198 --> 01:30:07,157
Yes.
801
01:30:07,575 --> 01:30:09,034
Over a girl again?
802
01:30:10,578 --> 01:30:11,620
Why then?
803
01:30:11,995 --> 01:30:13,581
She has soft skin.
804
01:30:14,122 --> 01:30:15,457
That's no reason.
805
01:30:16,291 --> 01:30:18,418
How do you know her skin's soft?
806
01:30:19,252 --> 01:30:23,131
I hold her hand and the skin
under her wrist is soft.
807
01:30:23,340 --> 01:30:25,551
Where do you get your aggressiveness?
808
01:30:26,176 --> 01:30:27,511
Not from me anyhow.
809
01:30:28,345 --> 01:30:29,638
My father, maybe?
810
01:30:29,805 --> 01:30:30,723
No.
811
01:30:31,765 --> 01:30:34,142
No, Doug wasn't like that.
812
01:30:36,103 --> 01:30:39,439
I think you have to know
how to defend yourself in life.
813
01:30:43,151 --> 01:30:45,153
I must tell you something, my love.
814
01:30:45,654 --> 01:30:46,697
What?
815
01:30:48,490 --> 01:30:51,159
Your presence has helped
all these years.
816
01:30:51,326 --> 01:30:53,328
I know. I noticed.
817
01:30:54,454 --> 01:30:56,540
But I need you to leave now.
818
01:30:58,917 --> 01:31:00,377
I can manage differently.
819
01:31:00,544 --> 01:31:01,754
I can tell.
820
01:31:05,758 --> 01:31:07,510
You want me to go?
821
01:31:13,766 --> 01:31:14,933
Are you sad?
822
01:31:15,475 --> 01:31:16,476
No.
823
01:31:24,401 --> 01:31:26,737
I can tell you are. I'm your mother.
824
01:31:31,199 --> 01:31:32,785
Is it over then?
825
01:31:35,203 --> 01:31:36,204
Yes.
826
01:33:36,659 --> 01:33:37,701
You came.
827
01:33:39,036 --> 01:33:40,412
You're stubborn.
828
01:33:41,830 --> 01:33:43,624
I sensed I had to.
829
01:33:55,260 --> 01:33:56,261
Are you ok?
830
01:33:57,805 --> 01:33:58,972
I'll be fine.
831
01:34:22,120 --> 01:34:23,581
The stairs creak a bit?
832
01:34:23,747 --> 01:34:25,916
Part of the charm of an old house.
833
01:34:26,083 --> 01:34:29,169
Old stones, creaking stairs,
banging shutters.
834
01:34:29,336 --> 01:34:31,839
- Why bother otherwise?
- I love it.
835
01:34:32,005 --> 01:34:33,173
Me too.
836
01:34:36,009 --> 01:34:39,972
This room faces south-west
and is sunny all day.
837
01:34:40,472 --> 01:34:42,224
The view is wonderful.
838
01:34:44,977 --> 01:34:47,395
There's direct access to the kitchen.
839
01:34:48,105 --> 01:34:52,484
Maybe we could demolish this
to open the kitchen to the dining room.
840
01:34:52,693 --> 01:34:53,861
Good idea.
841
01:34:54,027 --> 01:34:55,487
Isn't it a bearing wall?
842
01:34:55,654 --> 01:34:59,783
Behind the cupboards, yes,
but you can put in an IPN beam.
843
01:35:00,075 --> 01:35:01,952
But this one can go.
844
01:35:07,165 --> 01:35:08,291
And the roof?
845
01:35:10,502 --> 01:35:11,670
It's great.
846
01:35:12,004 --> 01:35:13,296
In good condition?
847
01:35:14,006 --> 01:35:15,508
Never a problem.
848
01:35:17,092 --> 01:35:18,844
I'll let you talk it over.
849
01:35:19,011 --> 01:35:21,013
Feel free to go back upstairs.
850
01:35:21,346 --> 01:35:23,849
Any questions, I'll be in the garden.
851
01:35:24,224 --> 01:35:26,018
- See you shortly.
- Thank you.
852
01:36:02,763 --> 01:36:04,765
Is there a manual in German?
853
01:36:04,932 --> 01:36:08,018
No, my dear friend, only in French.
854
01:36:09,562 --> 01:36:11,897
You told them I was your gardener?
855
01:36:12,230 --> 01:36:15,400
Yes, I suggested
making you part of the deal.
856
01:36:15,568 --> 01:36:17,235
Not gifted, but cheap.
857
01:36:18,696 --> 01:36:19,988
I'm flattered.
858
01:36:20,906 --> 01:36:22,282
Are they interested?
859
01:36:22,783 --> 01:36:25,202
Hard to say. The husband's fussy.
860
01:36:25,368 --> 01:36:29,081
I said I had someone
coming back tomorrow with an offer.
861
01:36:29,414 --> 01:36:30,541
That's not true.
862
01:36:30,708 --> 01:36:32,668
Yes, but it got them thinking.
863
01:36:34,002 --> 01:36:38,340
Why mow a lawn
since the grass always grows back?
864
01:36:38,966 --> 01:36:40,968
It's the cycle of life, right?
865
01:36:41,510 --> 01:36:42,678
So that's it.
866
01:36:43,053 --> 01:36:44,054
Life.
867
01:36:44,805 --> 01:36:46,139
How much longer?
868
01:36:48,642 --> 01:36:50,435
I love you, Mr Tim Ardenne.
869
01:36:51,436 --> 01:36:53,105
You saved my life, sir.
870
01:36:57,317 --> 01:36:58,944
It was an honour to meet you.
871
01:36:59,111 --> 01:37:02,197
No, we said we'd never say such things.
872
01:37:03,073 --> 01:37:04,491
I might cry.
873
01:37:05,909 --> 01:37:07,327
My bad.
874
01:37:11,790 --> 01:37:14,918
As a child, I hated daylight.
It terrified me.
875
01:37:15,127 --> 01:37:16,712
Now, I find it reassuring.
876
01:37:17,254 --> 01:37:19,673
We should move closer to the poles.
877
01:37:20,423 --> 01:37:22,551
Go where the sun never sets?
878
01:37:23,176 --> 01:37:23,969
Good idea.
879
01:37:24,136 --> 01:37:25,303
Greenland.
880
01:37:25,846 --> 01:37:27,389
We'd live in an igloo.
881
01:37:28,932 --> 01:37:32,394
We'd cut holes in the ice to fish.
882
01:37:33,020 --> 01:37:34,354
You hate the cold,
883
01:37:34,522 --> 01:37:37,816
but I'll buy you thick sweaters
and scarves.
884
01:37:39,109 --> 01:37:40,318
Woollen ones.
885
01:37:41,236 --> 01:37:42,738
And a woolly hat too.
886
01:37:43,656 --> 01:37:44,948
It would suit you.
887
01:41:16,952 --> 01:41:19,580
Subtitles by Ian Burley
888
01:41:19,747 --> 01:41:22,374
Subtitling TITRAFILM
54196
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