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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,133 --> 00:00:14,467 PREVIOUSLY ON... 2 00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:15,467 THE NEW NEIGHBOR... 3 00:00:15,500 --> 00:00:17,167 HE'S CUTE. HE'S A BACHELOR. 4 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:20,133 BECAME A HERO. AAH! 5 00:00:20,167 --> 00:00:23,033 IN A CRISIS THAT BROUGHT JULIE AND AUSTIN TOGETHER, 6 00:00:23,067 --> 00:00:25,300 WHILE CARLOS AND GABY BROKE APART. 7 00:00:25,333 --> 00:00:28,533 I HAD A CAREER AND A FUTURE, BUT I GAVE IT ALL UP FOR YOU, 8 00:00:28,567 --> 00:00:31,233 AND WHAT DID I GET IN RETURN? HEY! 9 00:00:31,267 --> 00:00:33,400 THE POLICE ASSEMBLED THEIR PIECES OF EVIDENCE. 10 00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:35,333 YOUR PHONE NUMBER WAS WRITTEN ON HER HAND. 11 00:00:35,367 --> 00:00:37,467 I CAN'T HELP YOU. NO MEMORY, HUH? 12 00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:39,300 THAT'S CONVENIENT. 13 00:00:44,067 --> 00:00:45,433 (Mary Alice) KAREN McCLUSKEY 14 00:00:45,467 --> 00:00:47,700 HAD ALWAYS BELIEVED IN HELPING OTHERS, 15 00:00:47,733 --> 00:00:50,833 WHETHER THEY WANTED HER HELP OR NOT. 16 00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:53,567 WHAT'S ALL THIS? 17 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,500 YOU KNOW HOW YOU NEVER GOT AROUND 18 00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:56,733 TO PAINTING YOUR GARAGE DOOR? 19 00:00:56,767 --> 00:01:00,600 WELL, IT'S DONE. HOPE YOU LIKE BLUE. 20 00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:04,133 BAXTER! YOU FOUND HIM! 21 00:01:04,167 --> 00:01:06,067 YEAH, AND I GOT HIM NEUTERED, TOO. 22 00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:09,200 I FIGURED YOU WOULDN'T WANT ANY MORE STRAYS AROUND HERE. 23 00:01:10,733 --> 00:01:11,800 KAREN! 24 00:01:11,833 --> 00:01:12,733 HI, ALBERTA. 25 00:01:12,767 --> 00:01:14,800 I TOOK THESE DOWN FOR YOU SINCE, YOU KNOW, 26 00:01:14,833 --> 00:01:17,833 CHRISTMAS WAS SIX MONTHS AGO. 27 00:01:17,867 --> 00:01:20,600 YES, MRS. McCLUSKEY'S HELPING HAND 28 00:01:20,633 --> 00:01:22,633 WAS KNOWN THROUGHOUT WISTERIA LANE. 29 00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:26,167 BUT ON THIS DAY, IT WAS ABOUT TO GET SLAPPED. 30 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,167 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? (gasps) 31 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:31,067 JEEZ, EDIE, YOU SCARED ME. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 32 00:01:31,100 --> 00:01:32,467 GETTING MIKE'S HOUSE READY. 33 00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,400 HE COMES BACK FROM THE HOSPITAL TOMORROW. 34 00:01:34,433 --> 00:01:36,733 SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE A KEY TO HIS GARAGE? 35 00:01:36,767 --> 00:01:39,267 HE GAVE ME ONE... IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY. 36 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:42,067 DON'T LIE TO ME, PRUNE. FINE, I FOUND IT UNDER HIS MAT. 37 00:01:42,067 --> 00:01:43,800 LOOK, I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG. 38 00:01:43,833 --> 00:01:46,333 I JUST COME OVER ONCE A WEEK AND START HIS MOWER 39 00:01:46,367 --> 00:01:48,267 SO THE ENGINE DOESN'T GET RUSTY. 40 00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:50,400 AND DO YOU MOW YOUR LAWN WITH IT, TOO? 41 00:01:50,433 --> 00:01:52,533 WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? I'M DOING HIM A FAVOR. 42 00:01:52,567 --> 00:01:54,833 WELL, HE DOESN'T NEED ANY FAVORS FROM YOU. 43 00:01:54,867 --> 00:01:57,133 I'M GONNA GO THROUGH MIKE'S HOUSE ROOM BY ROOM, 44 00:01:57,167 --> 00:01:59,633 AND IF I FIND AS MUCH AS ONE PAPER CLIP MISSING, 45 00:01:59,667 --> 00:02:01,567 I'M CALLING THE COPS. 46 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,500 FUNNY YOU SHOULD TALK ABOUT STUFF THAT'S MISSING. 47 00:02:03,533 --> 00:02:07,633 I FOUND THOSE PICTURES OF MIKE AND SUSAN YOU THREW OUT. PICTURES? 48 00:02:07,667 --> 00:02:09,600 OH, DON'T ACT FOR ME. 49 00:02:09,633 --> 00:02:12,367 I KNOW THAT MIKE'S BEEN HAVING TROUBLES WITH HIS MEMORY. 50 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,667 MY GUESS--YOU DON'T WANT HIM TO REMEMBER 51 00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:17,333 HOW CRAZY HE WAS ABOUT HIS OLD GIRLFRIEND. 52 00:02:17,367 --> 00:02:19,467 (chuckles) I DON'T NEED TO RESORT TO DECEPTION 53 00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:22,167 TO LAND A MAN. 54 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,200 OH, EDIE, I SAVED THE PICTURES... 55 00:02:25,233 --> 00:02:28,667 AND I CAN SHOW THEM TO MIKE ANYTIME I LIKE. 56 00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:34,700 YES, KAREN McCLUSKEY BELIEVED IN HELPING OTHERS... 57 00:02:34,733 --> 00:02:36,733 WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THIS? 58 00:02:36,767 --> 00:02:39,733 WHICH SHE FELT GAVE HER THE RIGHT... 59 00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:44,633 TO HELP HERSELF. 60 00:02:44,667 --> 00:02:46,667 *** 61 00:02:54,367 --> 00:02:56,367 *** 62 00:03:13,533 --> 00:03:15,533 *** 63 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:26,067 SO REMEMBER TO BE POLITE... 64 00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:28,367 EACH YEAR AS PART OF THEIR FUND-RAISING DRIVE, 65 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:32,433 THE FAIRVIEW ADVENTURE SCOUTS WOULD AWARD A SHINY NEW BIKE 66 00:03:32,467 --> 00:03:35,567 TO WHOEVER SOLD THE MOST MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS, 67 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:39,067 AND EACH SCOUT WOULD SET OUT UTTERLY CONVINCED 68 00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:41,100 THE PRIZE WOULD BE HERS. 69 00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:44,567 THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF YOUTH. 70 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,700 YOUNG GIRLS BELIEVE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE... 71 00:03:47,733 --> 00:03:52,333 THAT IS, UNTIL THEY GROW UP AND GET DIVORCED. 72 00:03:52,367 --> 00:03:53,567 HI. 73 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,367 WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THERE IS A WAY YOU COULD HELP CHILDREN 74 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,300 WHILE ALSO READING YOUR FAVORITE MAGAZINES 75 00:03:58,333 --> 00:03:59,667 AT A REDUCED PRICE? 76 00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:01,600 WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR MORE? 77 00:04:01,633 --> 00:04:04,433 SURE, KNOCK YOURSELF OUT. 78 00:04:04,467 --> 00:04:05,333 WISE CHOICE. 79 00:04:05,367 --> 00:04:07,467 FOR THE LADY OF THE HOUSE, WE OFFER... 80 00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:10,467 "REDBOOK," "GLAMOUR," "VOG-YOU"... 81 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,333 I THINK YOU MEAN "VOGUE," SWEETIE. YOU SURE? 82 00:04:13,367 --> 00:04:16,133 I SHOULD KNOW. I WAS ON THE COVER. 83 00:04:16,167 --> 00:04:18,267 NO WAY. 84 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,633 UH, WAY. 85 00:04:20,667 --> 00:04:23,167 (gasps) 86 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,533 OH, SEE THAT COAT I'M WEARING IN THIS SHOT? 87 00:04:25,567 --> 00:04:28,400 THAT'S GENUINE OCELOT FUR. (chuckles) WOW. 88 00:04:28,433 --> 00:04:30,333 ALTHOUGH THE PHOTOGRAPHER WAS THE REAL ANIMAL, 89 00:04:30,367 --> 00:04:33,200 IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING... (chuckles) 90 00:04:33,233 --> 00:04:37,167 WHICH I HOPE YOU DON'T. 91 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,500 AND DON'T EVER DO DRUGS, OKAY? 92 00:04:39,533 --> 00:04:42,400 BEING A MODEL MUST BE SO AMAZING. 93 00:04:42,433 --> 00:04:43,833 WHY DID YOU STOP? 94 00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:46,733 WELL, I FELL IN LOVE, 95 00:04:46,767 --> 00:04:49,367 GOT MARRIED AND MOVED TO THE SUBURBS 96 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,333 FOR THE WHOLE FAIRY-TALE HAPPY ENDING THING. 97 00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:54,333 THAT WAS A CROCK. 98 00:04:54,367 --> 00:04:57,167 SO YOU GOING BACK TO MODELING? 99 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,333 NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 100 00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:02,500 WHY NOT? WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GONNA DO? 101 00:05:05,733 --> 00:05:08,233 YOU'RE GOING BACK TO MODELING? THIS IS SO SUDDEN. 102 00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:10,700 WELL, LET'S NOT GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES. 103 00:05:10,733 --> 00:05:13,500 I'M JUST GONNA FLY TO NEW YORK, MEET WITH MY OLD AGENT 104 00:05:13,533 --> 00:05:15,400 AND TAKE IT FROM THERE. 105 00:05:15,433 --> 00:05:17,333 COME ON, YOU GUYS, THIS IS EXCITING. 106 00:05:17,367 --> 00:05:19,333 BE HAPPY FOR ME. 107 00:05:19,367 --> 00:05:22,300 OH, WE ARE. WE'RE JUST GONNA MISS YOU, THAT'S ALL. 108 00:05:22,333 --> 00:05:24,233 WELL, NOW THAT MY DIVORCE IS FINAL, 109 00:05:24,267 --> 00:05:27,133 I NEED A REASON TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING. 110 00:05:27,167 --> 00:05:30,667 I HAVE THIS HOLE IN MY LIFE THAT CAN'T BE FILLED BY SHOPPING. 111 00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:32,367 THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID IT. 112 00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:38,533 OH, MY GOSH. LYNETTE. OH. 113 00:05:40,367 --> 00:05:43,233 (Tom) I'LL GET THE KIDS. THEY'RE DYING TO SEE YOU. (Lynette) OKAY. 114 00:05:43,267 --> 00:05:44,267 HEY. (chuckles) (Susan) HEY! 115 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:48,833 HEY! OH, MY GOSH! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS! 116 00:05:48,867 --> 00:05:51,767 (Susan) HELLO! (laughs) HI! 117 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,700 YOU LOOK GREAT. WELL, APPARENTLY, TAKING A .38 SLUG 118 00:05:53,733 --> 00:05:56,067 TO THE SHOULDER AGREES WITH YOU. 119 00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:58,100 YEAH, UM, LISTEN, ABOUT THAT... 120 00:05:58,133 --> 00:06:00,100 THE KIDS DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. 121 00:06:00,133 --> 00:06:02,267 THEY DON'T? I THOUGHT THEY WERE A LITTLE YOUNG 122 00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:04,233 TO DEAL WITH THEIR MOTHER GETTING SHOT. 123 00:06:04,267 --> 00:06:06,567 ALL I TOLD THEM IS KAYLA IS STAYING WITH HER GRANDMOTHER, 124 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:10,100 AND I MADE UP A STORY ABOUT HOW I GOT HURT. (Parker) HEY, MOM! 125 00:06:10,133 --> 00:06:11,800 (Lynette) OH, HERE THEY ARE! HEY! (boys) MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY! 126 00:06:11,833 --> 00:06:15,733 HELLO! OH, THIS SIDE. HI! MWAH! HELLO! MWAH! 127 00:06:15,767 --> 00:06:19,133 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT IN A FIGHT WITH A HOBO. 128 00:06:19,167 --> 00:06:21,700 YEAH... WELL, LET'S SEE HOW WELL YOU DO ON A MORPHINE DRIP. 129 00:06:21,733 --> 00:06:23,633 MOMMY, COME INSIDE. 130 00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:27,700 WE HELPED MRS. McCLUSKEY MAKE YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH. FANTASTIC! LEAD THE WAY! I'M COMING IN. LET'S GO. 131 00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:30,733 (Parker) COME ON. HURRY UP. I'M HUNGRY. (Preston) LET'S GO. 132 00:06:30,767 --> 00:06:33,833 THERE SHE IS! HI, MY LITTLE BUNNY! 133 00:06:33,867 --> 00:06:36,067 MWAH, MWAH! 134 00:06:36,833 --> 00:06:39,700 HEY, WHY DON'T YOU GO INSIDE AND GET THE PARTY STARTED? 135 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,233 I'VE GOTTA--OKAY? GOTCHA. 136 00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:43,633 (Penny) HI. HI, BUNNY. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 137 00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:49,833 HEY. HEY, LYNETTE! 138 00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:51,800 UH, YEAH. YOU'RE HOME. 139 00:06:51,833 --> 00:06:54,200 YEAH. HOW YOU DOING? 140 00:06:54,233 --> 00:06:57,600 I'M GOOD. I JUST... 141 00:06:57,633 --> 00:07:00,833 (sighs) HOW DO I... 142 00:07:00,867 --> 00:07:03,267 THANK THE MAN WHO SAVED MY LIFE? 143 00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:07,100 OH, NO, NO, NO. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING. 144 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,400 I'M GONNA MAKE YOU A CAKE. 145 00:07:11,433 --> 00:07:13,267 (laughs) A CAKE? 146 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:16,267 YEAH. I NEVER MAKE CAKES. THIS IS HUGE. 147 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:20,267 IN THAT CASE... THANKS. 148 00:07:23,767 --> 00:07:24,800 (sniffling) 149 00:07:24,833 --> 00:07:26,200 (sighs) 150 00:07:26,233 --> 00:07:28,633 (crying) YEAH, I'M GONNA MAKE YOU A CAKE. 151 00:07:28,667 --> 00:07:30,833 (laughs) 152 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,167 (string quartet playing "Jingle Bells") 153 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,400 CHRISTMAS CAROLS? IT'S NOT EVEN THANKSGIVING. 154 00:07:35,433 --> 00:07:37,333 I'M STARTING MY CARDS EARLY THIS YEAR. 155 00:07:37,367 --> 00:07:39,667 IT PUTS ME IN THE MOOD TO SPREAD HOLIDAY CHEER. 156 00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:42,167 AND WITH THE PACK OF LIES IN THIS FAMILY NEWSLETTER, 157 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,100 SHE SPREADS HOLIDAY DENIAL. ANDREW, IT'S ETIQUETTE. 158 00:07:44,133 --> 00:07:46,467 NOBODY WANTS TO READ THE TRUTH AT CHRISTMAS. 159 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,133 WELL SAID, DARLING. (song ends) 160 00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:50,067 HONEY, WOULD YOU PUT ON ANOTHER CD? 161 00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:53,600 SOMETHING WITH SLEIGH BELLS. OH, BY THE WAY, ORSON, 162 00:07:53,633 --> 00:07:56,667 I NEED, UH, YOUR MOTHER'S ADDRESS AT THE NURSING HOME. 163 00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:59,067 OH, WELL, I APPRECIATE THE THOUGHT, DARLING, 164 00:07:59,067 --> 00:08:01,767 BUT YOU NEEDN'T SEND HER A CARD. OH, DON'T BE SILLY. 165 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,200 I'M SENDING ONE TO THE MAN WHO READS OUR GAS METER. 166 00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:07,100 I CAN CERTAINLY SEND ONE TO YOUR MOTHER. SHE'S COMPLETELY SENILE. 167 00:08:07,133 --> 00:08:09,833 SHE'LL ONLY TRY TO DUNK IT IN HER COFFEE. WELL, ALL THE MORE REASON TO SEND HER ONE. 168 00:08:09,867 --> 00:08:12,767 LET THE NURSES KNOW THAT SHE HAS FAMILY AT HOME WHO LOVES HER 169 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,067 AND WHO COULD DROP BY AT ANY MINUTE 170 00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:17,600 AND SLAP THEM WITH A LAWSUIT. 171 00:08:17,633 --> 00:08:19,833 BREE, I HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING-- 172 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:23,267 ORSON, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? IT'S JUST AN ADDRESS. 173 00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:25,700 FINE. I'LL GET MY BOOK. 174 00:08:25,733 --> 00:08:28,100 THE HOME IS SOMEWHERE OVER IN LAKEVIEW. 175 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,233 LAKEVIEW? 176 00:08:29,267 --> 00:08:31,800 OH, YOU GAVE ME THE IMPRESSION THAT SHE WAS BACK EAST. 177 00:08:31,833 --> 00:08:33,333 WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE, FRANKLY, 178 00:08:33,367 --> 00:08:36,467 I WANTED TO AVOID THIS CONVERSATION. BUT IF SHE'S ONLY 30 MINUTES AWAY, 179 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:39,267 WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN VISITING HER? 180 00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:40,833 OKAY, THE TRUTH IS... 181 00:08:40,867 --> 00:08:42,767 IT--IT BREAKS MY HEART TO SEE HER NOW. 182 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,700 I WANT TO REMEMBER HER AS SHE WAS. 183 00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:48,600 BUT, ORSON-- BREE, I REFUSE TO SIT IN A ROOM 184 00:08:48,633 --> 00:08:50,567 THAT SMELLS OF DISINFECTANT AND LIME JELL-O, 185 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,467 MAKING SMALL TALK WITH A WOMAN WHO DOESN'T REMEMBER ME. 186 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,467 NOW LET IT GO, DAMN IT. 187 00:08:55,500 --> 00:09:00,267 (orchestra playing "Sleigh Ride") 188 00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:04,300 BUT BY ALL MEANS, DO SEND A CARD. 189 00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:07,433 THE ELVES WILL TICKLE HER. 190 00:09:07,467 --> 00:09:10,533 *** 191 00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:15,433 WELL, SHALL WE? 192 00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:18,300 WAIT. JULIE'S GONNA KNOW WE CAME HOME EARLY FROM THE RESTAURANT 193 00:09:18,333 --> 00:09:19,833 TO CHECK UP ON HER. 194 00:09:19,867 --> 00:09:22,733 I DON'T WANT HER TO THINK I'M OVERPROTECTIVE AND CLINGY. 195 00:09:22,767 --> 00:09:23,867 THE GIRL WAS HELD HOSTAGE. 196 00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:26,567 IT'S ONLY NATURAL YOU'RE GONNA BE A LITTLE BIT CLINGY. 197 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:29,400 YEAH, IT'S BEEN A WEEK. I'M GETTING ON HER NERVES. HOW ABOUT THIS? 198 00:09:29,433 --> 00:09:31,567 WE CAME HOME EARLY BECAUSE WE HATED THE RESTAURANT. 199 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,233 THE SERVICE WAS DREADFUL, AND THE LOBSTER WAS INEDIBLE. 200 00:09:34,267 --> 00:09:35,533 OKAY. 201 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,733 (sighs) 202 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,100 WAIT, IF WE HATED THE RESTAURANT, 203 00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:44,067 THEN WHY ARE WE BRINGING HOME FOOD? 204 00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:45,833 GOOD POINT. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! 205 00:09:45,867 --> 00:09:48,400 ARE YOU KIDDING?! THAT'S LOBSTER! 206 00:09:48,433 --> 00:09:51,700 OKAY, I THOUGHT THE RESTAURANT WAS FANTASTIC, 207 00:09:51,733 --> 00:09:55,367 AND YOU WERE THE FUSSY SNOB WHO WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE. 208 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,567 WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE FUSSY SNOB? 209 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,667 BECAUSE YOU'RE BRITISH. 210 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:02,500 FINE, BUT I TRUST YOU'LL MAKE IT UP TO ME LATER 211 00:10:02,533 --> 00:10:04,433 BY DOING THE THINGS A GENTLEMAN EXPECTS 212 00:10:04,467 --> 00:10:05,800 WHEN HE'S SPRUNG FOR LOBSTER. 213 00:10:05,833 --> 00:10:09,200 (laughs) OH! (laughs) 214 00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:13,400 (laughs) 215 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:22,700 I'M NOT GETTING ANY TONIGHT, AM I? 216 00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:27,333 (Julie) YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING DINNER! IT'S MY FAULT. 217 00:10:27,367 --> 00:10:30,633 I FOUND THE RESTAURANT TO BE ABSOLUTELY-- OH, LET IT GO. WE CAME HOME BECAUSE 218 00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:33,067 I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU, AND WITH GOOD REASON. 219 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,800 YOU, PUT ON YOUR SHIRT AND GET OUT. 220 00:10:35,833 --> 00:10:38,367 WELL, I-I DIDN'T BRING A SHIRT. 221 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:43,567 SEE, I WAS OUT RUNNING AND-- WHO CARES?! GO! 222 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,367 (scoffs) HOW COULD YOU TREAT HIM LIKE THAT? 223 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,533 IF AUSTIN HADN'T BEEN IN THAT SUPERMARKET, 224 00:10:47,567 --> 00:10:49,633 I MIGHT NOT BE HERE. YES, AND I AM GRATEFUL, BUT I FOUND A WAY 225 00:10:49,667 --> 00:10:51,667 TO SAY "THANK YOU" WITHOUT TAKING MY TOP OFF. 226 00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:54,500 A COUPLE OF BUTTONS CAME UNDONE. IT'S NOT LIKE MY BOOBS WERE OUT. 227 00:10:54,533 --> 00:10:57,733 OKAY, WELL, IT'S, UH, IT'S GETTING LATE AND--AND I REALLY-- 228 00:10:57,767 --> 00:11:00,067 NO, IAN, AM I OVERREACTING HERE? 229 00:11:00,067 --> 00:11:02,767 WELL, I CAN UNDERSTAND ON THE HEELS OF A CRISIS, 230 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,067 TWO PEOPLE MIGHT BOND AND FIND THEMSELVES... 231 00:11:05,067 --> 00:11:06,633 YOU'RE A VERY NAUGHTY GIRL! 232 00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:09,067 JULIE, THAT BOY DRINKS, HE STEALS, 233 00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:11,700 AND NOW I FIND HIM MAULING YOU ON MY COUCH? 234 00:11:11,733 --> 00:11:15,233 THAT'S IT. I FORBID YOU TO SEE HIM. YOU CAN'T DO THAT. I CHOOSE WHO I DATE. 235 00:11:15,267 --> 00:11:18,200 YEAH? WELL, I CHOOSE TO GROUND YOU. TWO WEEKS, BABY. 236 00:11:18,233 --> 00:11:21,400 FINE, I'LL JUST SEE HIM AT SCHOOL. WELL, THEN YOU WON'T GO TO SCHOOL. I'LL HOMESCHOOL YOU. 237 00:11:21,433 --> 00:11:23,700 RIGHT, YOU'RE GONNA TEACH ME TRIG? 238 00:11:23,733 --> 00:11:26,600 YOU CAN'T EVEN BALANCE YOUR OWN CHECKBOOK. YES, AND YOU WILL BE POORLY EDUCATED, 239 00:11:26,633 --> 00:11:28,533 AND YOU WON'T GET INTO COLLEGE, 240 00:11:28,567 --> 00:11:30,467 AND YOU WILL WORK FOR MINIMUM WAGE 241 00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:32,700 FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, ALL BECAUSE OF THAT BOY! 242 00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:34,633 I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY! MOM, I LIKE THIS GUY, 243 00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:36,567 AND I'M SORRY IF IT MAKES YOU UNHAPPY, 244 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:39,200 BUT I'M GOING TO KEEP SEEING HIM. 245 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,100 (sighs) 246 00:11:48,267 --> 00:11:50,233 TA-DA! 247 00:11:50,267 --> 00:11:52,467 DOESN'T THE PLACE LOOK GREAT? 248 00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:54,400 I CAME IN AND STRAIGHTENED UP. 249 00:11:54,433 --> 00:11:57,400 I WANTED EVERYTHING TO LOOK NICE FOR YOU. 250 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,433 YOU OKAY? 251 00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:05,167 YEAH. YEAH, IT'S JUST THAT... 252 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:08,700 I'M HOME, BUT IT DOESN'T REALLY FEEL LIKE HOME. 253 00:12:08,733 --> 00:12:11,767 IT WILL. GIVE IT TIME. 254 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:15,267 THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU'RE BACK FROM THE HOSPITAL, 255 00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:18,367 AND EVERY DAY YOU'RE GETTING BETTER. 256 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:22,600 HEY, THE WORST IS BEHIND YOU. 257 00:12:26,167 --> 00:12:28,067 I NEED THE DELFINO SEARCH WARRANT. 258 00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:29,833 WE'RE NOT GONNA GET IT WITHOUT PROBABLE CAUSE. 259 00:12:29,867 --> 00:12:32,733 THE GUY'S PHONE NUMBER WAS WRITTEN ON A DEAD GIRL'S HAND. 260 00:12:32,767 --> 00:12:35,600 THE JUDGE IS GONNA NEED MORE. I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT SAY THAT. 261 00:12:35,633 --> 00:12:38,133 HERE'S MONIQUE POLIER'S LAB WORK. 262 00:12:38,167 --> 00:12:39,367 THE INFRARED SPECTROSCOPY 263 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,400 MATCHED PAINT FRAGMENTS IN THE HEAD WOUND 264 00:12:41,433 --> 00:12:43,333 TO THE PROXIMO LINE OF PIPE WRENCHES. 265 00:12:43,367 --> 00:12:45,067 THEY'RE HIGH-END, 266 00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:47,167 ONLY USED BY PROFESSIONAL PLUMBERS, 267 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,433 AND GUESS WHAT OUR BOY DELFINO DOES FOR A LIVING? 268 00:12:50,467 --> 00:12:53,733 I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO. 269 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,433 WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T SHOOT HER? 270 00:12:58,467 --> 00:13:00,600 FRANCESCO, IF YOU CAN AIRBRUSH HER ACNE, 271 00:13:00,633 --> 00:13:02,533 YOU CAN AIRBRUSH THE TRACK MARKS. 272 00:13:02,567 --> 00:13:04,233 NOW DON'T CALL ME AGAIN UNLESS SHE O.D.s. 273 00:13:04,267 --> 00:13:05,800 GABRIELLE, MA PETITE FILLE! 274 00:13:05,833 --> 00:13:07,200 MWAH! MWAH! 275 00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:08,633 OH, SIT! 276 00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:12,067 YOU LOOK AMAZING, YOUNGER THAN EVER! 277 00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:14,533 IT'S MY NEW DERMAL FILLER. IT'S BANNED HERE, 278 00:13:14,567 --> 00:13:16,400 SO MY ASSISTANT SMUGGLES IT IN FROM BRAZIL. 279 00:13:16,433 --> 00:13:18,733 ISN'T IT FUN? I HAVE MY OWN DRUG MULE. 280 00:13:18,767 --> 00:13:21,267 (chuckles) THAT'S GREAT! 281 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,533 WELL, I HAVE SOME FUN NEWS OF MY OWN. 282 00:13:23,567 --> 00:13:26,600 I'M READY TO MODEL AGAIN. REALLY? OH. 283 00:13:26,633 --> 00:13:29,333 THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE, YOU COULDN'T WAIT TO QUIT. 284 00:13:29,367 --> 00:13:31,267 YOU WERE GIVING IT ALL UP FOR LOVE. 285 00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:33,200 WHAT HAPPENED TO PRINCE CHARMING? 286 00:13:33,233 --> 00:13:35,800 DIVORCE. (chuckles) 287 00:13:35,833 --> 00:13:37,733 OH, SINGLE AGAIN? 288 00:13:37,767 --> 00:13:40,067 ISN'T THAT IRONIC, SINCE I'M THE ONE YOU CALLED-- 289 00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:42,367 OH, HOW DID YOU PUT IT? 290 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,633 A "CAREER-OBSESSED LESBO 291 00:13:43,667 --> 00:13:46,733 WHO WOULD DIE ALONE AND BE EATEN BY HER CATS." 292 00:13:46,767 --> 00:13:49,300 (chuckles nervously) DID I SAY THAT? 293 00:13:49,333 --> 00:13:52,133 WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE. I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY. 294 00:13:52,167 --> 00:13:54,800 (laughs) IT'S EVEN FUNNIER NOW. 295 00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:56,333 LOOK, MARCELLA, I'M BACK, 296 00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:58,167 AND WE MADE SUCH A GREAT TEAM BEFORE, 297 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,100 AND I THINK WE CAN BE AGAIN. 298 00:14:00,133 --> 00:14:03,100 I DON'T KNOW, DARLING. THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW. 299 00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:04,433 YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE 300 00:14:04,467 --> 00:14:07,067 TO JUMP RIGHT BACK IN WHERE YOU LEFT OFF. 301 00:14:07,067 --> 00:14:08,800 WELL, I JUST WANNA WORK. 302 00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:13,100 BOY, I'M STILL NOT SURE. YOU KNOW WHAT MIGHT HELP? 303 00:14:13,133 --> 00:14:15,367 IF YOU GROVELED. 304 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,233 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 305 00:14:18,267 --> 00:14:21,100 WELL, I-I CAN'T TELL BECAUSE YOUR FACE DOESN'T MOVE ANYMORE. 306 00:14:21,133 --> 00:14:23,100 NO, I'M JOKING! 307 00:14:23,133 --> 00:14:25,300 WELCOME BACK, DARLING! 308 00:14:30,867 --> 00:14:32,433 HI. 309 00:14:35,267 --> 00:14:36,600 THANK YOU. 310 00:14:36,633 --> 00:14:40,200 (indistinct conversations) 311 00:14:40,233 --> 00:14:42,667 (loudly) WELL, HELLO THERE! 312 00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:45,600 HOW PRETTY YOU LOOK TODAY! 313 00:14:45,633 --> 00:14:47,800 IT'S WONDERFUL THAT YOU'RE UP AND ABOUT! 314 00:14:47,833 --> 00:14:51,700 YOU MUST BE ENJOYING THESE COLORFUL BALLOONS! (chuckles) 315 00:14:55,267 --> 00:14:58,300 WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME LIKE I'M A MORON? 316 00:14:58,333 --> 00:15:00,267 (normal voice) OH! OH, I'M--I'M SO SORRY. 317 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,767 THE--THE--THE NURSE POINTED ME OVER HERE. 318 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,667 I'M--I'M LOOKING FOR GLORIA HODGE. 319 00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:07,067 I'M GLORIA HODGE. 320 00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:09,300 WHO MIGHT YOU BE? 321 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,433 WELL, I MUST SAY, I'M SURPRISED AT HOW LUCID YOU ARE. 322 00:15:14,467 --> 00:15:16,333 ORSON LED ME TO BELIEVE-- 323 00:15:16,367 --> 00:15:18,500 THAT I WAS IN THE FINAL STAGES OF DEMENTIA? 324 00:15:18,533 --> 00:15:20,200 (chuckles) NO, I'M AFRAID 325 00:15:20,233 --> 00:15:22,167 THAT'S JUST WISHFUL THINKING ON HIS PART. 326 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,100 WELL, HOW CAN HE FEEL THAT WAY? YOU'RE HIS MOTHER. 327 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,067 I WOULDN'T JUDGE HIM TOO HARSHLY. 328 00:15:27,067 --> 00:15:30,667 OURS IS A... COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP. 329 00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:32,600 THERE IS LOVE, TO BE SURE, 330 00:15:32,633 --> 00:15:35,767 BUT WE HAVE A WAY OF DISAPPOINTING EACH OTHER. 331 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,533 WELL, HOW DOES HE DISAPPOINT YOU? 332 00:15:38,567 --> 00:15:41,533 HE'S COLD, RIGID... 333 00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:46,067 AND... AND UTTERLY INCAPABLE OF LETTING GO OF THE PAST. 334 00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:49,067 AND HOW DO YOU DISAPPOINT HIM? 335 00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:52,067 I REFUSE TO DIE. 336 00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:53,400 YES, I SEE. 337 00:15:53,433 --> 00:15:57,100 WELL, SURELY THIS RIFT ISN'T IRREPARABLE. 338 00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:00,400 DO YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE IN NURSING HOMES 339 00:16:00,433 --> 00:16:02,433 SPEND THEIR DAYS, BREE? 340 00:16:02,467 --> 00:16:05,200 THEY THINK ABOUT THE PAST 341 00:16:05,233 --> 00:16:07,367 AND ALL THE THINGS THEY'D DO DIFFERENTLY 342 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,300 IF THEY HAD THE CHANCE. 343 00:16:09,333 --> 00:16:11,767 PLEASE TELL ORSON THAT I'M SORRY, 344 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:16,700 AND IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING, I STILL LOVE HIM. 345 00:16:16,733 --> 00:16:18,633 WELL, I HAVE A BETTER IDEA. 346 00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:20,733 WHY DON'T YOU TELL HIM YOURSELF? 347 00:16:27,433 --> 00:16:31,167 (Lynette) THAT WOULD BE GREAT. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. 348 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,133 OKAY. THANK YOU. 349 00:16:33,167 --> 00:16:36,300 SO WHAT DID ED SAY? WHEN DO YOU HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK? 350 00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:39,267 HE SAID TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS I WANT WITH PAY. 351 00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:42,767 WOW! YOU SHOULD GET GUNNED DOWN MORE OFTEN. (chuckles) 352 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:45,500 (Lynette) HEY, THERE THEY ARE! (Tom) HEY, GUYS! 353 00:16:45,533 --> 00:16:47,400 HELLO! HOW WAS SCHOOL? MWAH. 354 00:16:47,433 --> 00:16:50,533 MOMMY, WERE YOU SHOT? 355 00:16:50,567 --> 00:16:53,200 SHOT? WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT? 356 00:16:53,233 --> 00:16:55,233 JORDAN BLACKWELDER. 357 00:16:55,267 --> 00:16:58,833 OH! THAT'S THE SAME LITTLE CREEP WHO TRIED TO RUIN SANTA CLAUS! 358 00:16:58,867 --> 00:17:01,300 AND HE SAID THAT THE SAME CRAZY LADY THAT SHOT YOU 359 00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:02,667 KILLED AUNTIE NORA DEAD. 360 00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:05,167 IT WAS ON THE NEWS AND EVERYTHING. 361 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,533 OKAY, LISTEN, KIDS. I AM SORRY. 362 00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:09,633 WE SHOULDN'T HAVE LIED, BUT SOMETIMES 363 00:17:09,667 --> 00:17:12,300 PARENTS WANNA PROTECT THE KIDS FROM SCARY THINGS. 364 00:17:12,333 --> 00:17:14,667 AND LOOK, THE GOOD NEWS IS, MOMMY'S FINE NOW. 365 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:15,700 YEAH. 366 00:17:15,733 --> 00:17:21,067 AND WE'LL ALL SEE AUNTIE NORA AGAIN IN HEAVEN. 367 00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:22,800 OR WHEREVER. 368 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:26,233 DID THEY LET YOU KEEP THE BULLET? (laughs) NO, NO, AFRAID NOT. 369 00:17:26,267 --> 00:17:29,067 THAT BLOWS. WE WANTED TO BRING IT FOR SHOW-AND-TELL. 370 00:17:29,067 --> 00:17:31,633 (laughs) 371 00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,333 HEY, SWEETHEART, YOU OKAY? 372 00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:39,367 WHAT IF THE CRAZY LADY COMES BACK? 373 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,567 SHE WON'T. MNH-MNH. 374 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,067 HOW DO YOU KNOW? 375 00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:46,333 COME ON. 376 00:17:46,367 --> 00:17:48,500 WELL, BECAUSE SHE'S... 377 00:17:48,533 --> 00:17:51,067 UP IN HEAVEN WITH AUNTIE NORA. 378 00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:52,800 OR WHEREVER. 379 00:17:55,467 --> 00:17:58,467 (engine revving) 380 00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:05,100 JULIE MAYER, YOU GET BACK HERE! 381 00:18:05,133 --> 00:18:07,400 YOU'RE GROUNDED, REMEMBER?! 382 00:18:07,433 --> 00:18:11,200 UGH. (sighs) 383 00:18:13,167 --> 00:18:15,333 EDIE BRITT, I WANNA TALK TO YOU. 384 00:18:15,367 --> 00:18:18,500 UGH. I JUST SURVIVED A HOSTAGE SITUATION. 385 00:18:18,533 --> 00:18:20,833 HAVEN'T I SUFFERED ENOUGH FOR ONE WEEK? 386 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:24,067 YOU KEEP YOUR NEPHEW AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER OR ELSE. 387 00:18:24,067 --> 00:18:25,800 LOOK, I DON'T LIKE IT EITHER, 388 00:18:25,833 --> 00:18:28,167 BUT THE HARDER WE TRY TO KEEP THEM APART, 389 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,133 THE MORE THEY'RE GONNA FIGHT TO BE TOGETHER. 390 00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:32,067 JUST LET IT RUN ITS COURSE. 391 00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:34,700 ARE YOU CRAZY?! IF WE DON'T DO SOMETHING, 392 00:18:34,733 --> 00:18:37,067 THOSE TWO COULD END UP HAVING SEX! 393 00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,167 "COULD"? 394 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,500 OH, MY GOD. YOU DON'T-- 395 00:18:40,533 --> 00:18:42,433 LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY-- 396 00:18:42,467 --> 00:18:44,767 I GOT A BOX OF CONDOMS IN MY DRESSER. 397 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,267 11 ARE GONE. 398 00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:48,500 I CAN ONLY ACCOUNT FOR EIGHT OF 'EM. 399 00:18:48,533 --> 00:18:51,400 HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM ABOUT THIS? 400 00:18:51,433 --> 00:18:53,067 (front door opens) (Mike) EDIE? 401 00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:53,900 YEAH? 402 00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:57,100 CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THIS TIE? I... 403 00:18:58,733 --> 00:19:01,333 OH. HEY. 404 00:19:01,367 --> 00:19:04,067 MIKE... YOU'RE OUT OF THE HOSPITAL. 405 00:19:04,067 --> 00:19:06,467 YEAH. HE'S HOME. 406 00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:09,767 IN FACT, WE'RE GONNA GO OUT AND CELEBRATE TONIGHT. 407 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,367 I'LL BE WITH YOU IN ONE SEC, OKAY, BABE? 408 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,300 YEAH. 409 00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:19,200 SINCE YOU ASKED, I'M CALM BECAUSE I KNOW 410 00:19:19,233 --> 00:19:21,700 IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER, 411 00:19:21,733 --> 00:19:25,133 THERE'S NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO ABOUT IT. 412 00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:31,600 OKAY, I SHOULD BE BACK AT AROUND 6:00. 413 00:19:31,633 --> 00:19:33,533 THEY CAN HAVE ONE SNACK. 414 00:19:33,567 --> 00:19:36,067 TRY AND PUSH APPLES, BUT IF THEY THREATEN VIOLENCE, 415 00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:39,200 I HAVE AN EMERGENCY CANDY BAR UNDER THE SINK. NOT ANYMORE YOU DON'T. 416 00:19:39,233 --> 00:19:41,633 OH, JEEZ. 417 00:19:41,667 --> 00:19:43,567 MOMMY? WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 418 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,767 TO THE MARKET. 419 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,100 NO! 420 00:19:47,133 --> 00:19:49,067 HEY, SWEETIE, IT'S A DIFFERENT MARKET. 421 00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,633 YOU'RE GONNA GET SHOT AGAIN. NO, I WON'T. 422 00:19:51,667 --> 00:19:54,433 LOTS OF MOMMIES GO TO THE STORE EVERY DAY, AND THEY'RE FINE. 423 00:19:54,467 --> 00:19:55,633 IT'S REALLY NOT A SCARY PLACE. 424 00:19:55,667 --> 00:19:57,567 YOU WENT TO THE STORE, 425 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,700 AND YOU GOT SHOT, AND AUNTIE NORA DIED. 426 00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:07,033 I'M ONLY GONNA BE IN THERE TEN MINUTES, I PROMISE. 427 00:20:07,067 --> 00:20:09,500 CAN'T SHE GO? 428 00:20:10,833 --> 00:20:12,800 FINE. I'LL GO. 429 00:20:12,833 --> 00:20:15,200 THANKS. 430 00:20:15,233 --> 00:20:18,233 DON'T GIVE A HOOT IF I GET SHOT, DO YA, KID? 431 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:23,000 (door opens, shuts) 432 00:20:27,233 --> 00:20:28,200 OH! 433 00:20:33,267 --> 00:20:36,167 YOU MUST BE TANYA. I'M GABRIELLE. 434 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,333 WE'RE GONNA BE CO-MODELS TODAY. 435 00:20:39,667 --> 00:20:41,167 NOW I DON'T KNOW 436 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:44,067 IF YOU'VE EVER DONE ONE OF THESE BIG SHOOTS BEFORE, 437 00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:45,433 BUT DON'T BE NERVOUS. 438 00:20:45,467 --> 00:20:47,567 DURKIN AND I ARE OLD FRIENDS. HE'S A SWEETHEART. 439 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,233 (chuckles) NOW JUST REMEMBER, 440 00:20:49,267 --> 00:20:53,300 HE'S THE KING, DO EXACTLY WHAT HE SAYS, AND YOU'LL BE FINE. 441 00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:56,800 I'VE BEEN MODELING FOR TWO YEARS, 442 00:20:56,833 --> 00:21:01,767 I'VE DONE SIX MAGAZINE COVERS, AND I'M SLEEPING WITH DURKIN. 443 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,400 WELL, I GUESS YOU'RE ALL SET THEN. 444 00:21:05,433 --> 00:21:08,767 I'VE GOT SOME WARDROBE CHOICES. 445 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,733 YAY! (gasps) 446 00:21:11,767 --> 00:21:14,300 WOW! OH! 447 00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:16,767 I WANT TO BE BURIED IN THIS DRESS! 448 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,700 THIS IS FOR TANYA. 449 00:21:18,733 --> 00:21:21,167 THE "MOM" STUFF IS AT THE END. 450 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,533 "MOM"? 451 00:21:24,567 --> 00:21:27,467 OKAY, LUV, LET'S GET THE BLOOD PUMPING! 452 00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,633 THE CONCEPT IS "LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS." 453 00:21:29,667 --> 00:21:32,067 OKAY? GET TO WORK, EVERYBODY. 454 00:21:32,067 --> 00:21:34,333 TANYA, I WANT YOU TO HOVER DOWN HERE ON THE LAWN, 455 00:21:34,367 --> 00:21:37,167 LOOKING ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS... (chuckles) THANK YOU VERY MUCH-- 456 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,833 AND UP HERE ON THE PORCH, 457 00:21:39,867 --> 00:21:42,267 MOM AND DAD LOOKING ALL SCANDALIZED. 458 00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:44,267 EXCUSE ME, DURKIN? YES, LUV? 459 00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:47,600 (chuckles) IT'S GABY. 460 00:21:47,633 --> 00:21:50,567 GABRIELLE MARQUEZ. YOU SHOT ME IN MILAN, REMEMBER? 461 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:54,133 YES! YES! LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 462 00:21:54,167 --> 00:21:56,300 DID YOU HAVE A QUESTION THEN? 463 00:21:56,333 --> 00:21:59,233 I DO. UM... 464 00:21:59,267 --> 00:22:02,367 AREN'T YOU A LITTLE WORRIED THAT I'M GONNA PULL FOCUS? 465 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,300 I MEAN, IT'S A LITTLE CONFUSING. 466 00:22:04,333 --> 00:22:07,367 PEOPLE ARE GONNA SEE TANYA, AND THEN THEY'RE GONNA... 467 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:11,500 SEE THAT GUY, AND THEY'RE GONNA WONDER WHO I AM. 468 00:22:11,533 --> 00:22:13,433 YOU'RE THE MUM. 469 00:22:13,467 --> 00:22:15,467 (laughs) YEAH! YEAH. 470 00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:18,367 PEOPLE AREN'T GONNA BUY THAT, SO HERE'S WHAT I WAS THINKING. 471 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,433 I SLAP ON ONE OF THOSE GOWNS, I PLAY TANYA'S "BIG SISTER" 472 00:22:21,467 --> 00:22:25,133 HOME FROM COLLEGE TO RAISE A LITTLE HELL. 473 00:22:25,167 --> 00:22:28,733 AND WE'RE GONNA CRAM ALL THAT ON A SUBTITLE, ARE WE? 474 00:22:28,767 --> 00:22:30,667 I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST, THIS OUTFIT IS HIDEOUS! 475 00:22:30,700 --> 00:22:34,100 JUST MAKE IT WORK. 476 00:22:34,133 --> 00:22:38,200 FINE. I JUST NEED A MOMENT TO GET INTO CHARACTER. 477 00:22:41,733 --> 00:22:44,600 GABRIELLE, WHAT'S THE HOLDUP?! WE'VE GOT TO GET MOVING HERE. 478 00:22:44,633 --> 00:22:47,500 READY, READY! (laughs) 479 00:22:49,367 --> 00:22:51,067 WHAT'S THAT? 480 00:22:51,067 --> 00:22:52,500 OH, I MADE IT WORK. 481 00:22:52,533 --> 00:22:55,200 I'M "HOT MOM." (giggles) 482 00:22:57,367 --> 00:22:59,767 GET ME HER AGENT. 483 00:23:03,467 --> 00:23:06,333 BEFORE WE BEGIN, WOULD EITHER OF YOU LIKE 484 00:23:06,367 --> 00:23:08,667 SOME COOKIES, MILK, LEMONADE, PERHAPS? 485 00:23:08,700 --> 00:23:10,633 MOM, WHY ARE WE HERE? 486 00:23:10,667 --> 00:23:13,833 AH, CUTTING TO THE CHASE. I LIKE IT. 487 00:23:13,867 --> 00:23:15,433 (car approaches) 488 00:23:17,667 --> 00:23:19,567 I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE. 489 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,467 THIS WHOLE DATING DRAMA HAS BEEN KEEPING ME UP AT NIGHT, 490 00:23:22,500 --> 00:23:24,667 AND I HATE BEING THE BITCHY, NAGGY MOM. 491 00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:26,133 WHEN IT COMES TO PARENTING, 492 00:23:26,167 --> 00:23:28,500 I AM MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE PLAYING THE GOOD COP. 493 00:23:28,533 --> 00:23:30,600 DO YOU SEE WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS, KIDS? 494 00:23:30,633 --> 00:23:32,667 (car door shuts) NO. 495 00:23:32,700 --> 00:23:35,333 OH. WELL, IN THAT CASE... 496 00:23:35,367 --> 00:23:37,067 MEET THE BAD COP. 497 00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:39,267 (front door opens, shuts) 498 00:23:39,300 --> 00:23:40,367 DADDY! 499 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,367 HEY, BABY GIRL. THAT THE GUY? 500 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,733 YEP! GET HIM. 501 00:23:46,767 --> 00:23:49,600 (speaking indistinctly) 502 00:23:51,433 --> 00:23:52,800 THIS IS SO UNFAIR. 503 00:23:52,833 --> 00:23:55,267 LOOK, YOU DEFIED MY WISHES, YOU BROKE MY RULES. 504 00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:58,133 DID YOU REALLY THINK I WAS JUST GONNA THROW IN THE TOWEL? 505 00:23:58,167 --> 00:24:00,400 FACE IT. I OUTSMARTED YOU. 506 00:24:00,433 --> 00:24:02,400 UGH! 507 00:24:02,433 --> 00:24:04,067 (sighs) 508 00:24:07,300 --> 00:24:08,633 WHO'S IAN? 509 00:24:08,667 --> 00:24:09,600 WHAT? 510 00:24:09,633 --> 00:24:12,367 YOU'RE DATING SOME BRITISH GUY NAMED IAN. 511 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:16,067 HOW DID THAT COME UP? I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS A BIG SECRET. 512 00:24:16,067 --> 00:24:18,333 HEY, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU SAID IT WAS TRUE LOVE 513 00:24:18,367 --> 00:24:21,067 WITH YOU AND THE PLUMBER, I-I WAS A GOOD GUY. 514 00:24:21,100 --> 00:24:23,800 I STEPPED ASIDE, AND NOW YOU'RE ON TO SOMEONE ELSE. 515 00:24:23,833 --> 00:24:25,367 BIG PICTURE, KARL-- 516 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,500 HIS HAND UP OUR DAUGHTER'S SHIRT. 517 00:24:27,533 --> 00:24:30,600 DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT! THAT IS THE SUBJECT! 518 00:24:30,633 --> 00:24:33,167 HOW SERIOUS IS IT WITH THIS IAN GUY? 519 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,133 I DON'T KNOW! IT'S--IT'S COMPLICATED. 520 00:24:35,167 --> 00:24:37,833 YEAH, HE'S KIND OF MARRIED. 521 00:24:37,867 --> 00:24:39,300 HE'S WHAT?! 522 00:24:39,333 --> 00:24:41,233 IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. 523 00:24:41,267 --> 00:24:43,667 WELL, IN HER DEFENSE, HIS WIFE IS IN A COMA. 524 00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:45,667 ALL RIGHT, THAT--THAT'S IT! 525 00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:47,833 ALL RIGHT, I FORBID YOU TO SEE THIS GUY! 526 00:24:47,867 --> 00:24:51,100 WHAT?! NO! I DON'T TAKE ORDERS FROM YOU! MOM HAS A POINT, DAD. 527 00:24:51,133 --> 00:24:53,833 YOU CAN'T TELL A WOMAN WHO SHE CAN AND CAN'T DATE. 528 00:24:53,867 --> 00:24:55,767 IT'S HER CHOICE. 529 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,500 EXACTLY. THANK YOU. WAIT, NO, THAT DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU. 530 00:24:58,533 --> 00:25:00,533 YOU KNOW, IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MY FEELINGS, 531 00:25:00,567 --> 00:25:02,567 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING HERE. 532 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,233 YOUR FEELINGS? MY GOD, YOU ARE THE WORST BAD COP EVER! 533 00:25:06,267 --> 00:25:09,100 (door slams) UGH! 534 00:25:09,133 --> 00:25:11,267 GO TO YOUR ROOM. 535 00:25:13,300 --> 00:25:15,167 NOT YOU! 536 00:25:20,467 --> 00:25:23,667 (Preston) GET BACK HERE! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! (Porter) NO, I'M NOT! AAH! 537 00:25:23,700 --> 00:25:26,567 HEY, BUDDY, YOU'VE BEEN READING COMIC BOOKS FOR A WHILE. 538 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:28,500 DON'T YOU WANNA GO AND PLAY? 539 00:25:28,533 --> 00:25:30,633 NO, I-I WANNA STAY WITH YOU. 540 00:25:30,667 --> 00:25:32,433 YEAH? 541 00:25:32,467 --> 00:25:33,600 OKAY. 542 00:25:41,467 --> 00:25:43,467 (drill whirring) 543 00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:45,400 HEY, ART. 544 00:25:45,433 --> 00:25:47,800 OH, HEY! HOW ARE YA? GOOD. 545 00:25:47,833 --> 00:25:50,333 UM, LISTEN, AS IF SAVING MY LIFE WASN'T ENOUGH, 546 00:25:50,367 --> 00:25:52,667 I HAVE A LITTLE FAVOR TO ASK. 547 00:25:52,700 --> 00:25:54,067 SURE. WHAT'S UP? 548 00:25:54,067 --> 00:25:55,833 MY KIDS ARE HAVING A HARD TIME. 549 00:25:55,867 --> 00:25:58,300 THEY'RE PRETTY FREAKED OUT BY THAT WHOLE SUPERMARKET THING. 550 00:25:58,333 --> 00:25:59,667 YOU'RE MY HOSTAGE! 551 00:25:59,700 --> 00:26:01,767 KEEP MOVING, OR I'LL BLOW YOUR FACE OFF! 552 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:03,700 (Preston) OKAY, IT'S MY TURN. GIVE ME THE GUN. 553 00:26:03,733 --> 00:26:05,667 NOT SO MUCH THEM. (laughs) RIGHT. 554 00:26:05,700 --> 00:26:09,267 BUT MY OTHER SON, PARKER... 555 00:26:09,300 --> 00:26:13,333 SO... BACK TO THE FAVOR... 556 00:26:15,300 --> 00:26:17,100 HEY, PARKER, 557 00:26:17,133 --> 00:26:19,767 I WANT YOU TO MEET OUR NEW NEIGHBOR, ART. 558 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,700 HE LIVES IN THE HOUSE ACROSS THE STREET. 559 00:26:21,733 --> 00:26:24,100 HIS SISTER HAS THE COOL WHEELCHAIR WITH THE JOYSTICK. 560 00:26:24,133 --> 00:26:25,633 HEY THERE, PARKER. 561 00:26:25,667 --> 00:26:27,667 HI. 562 00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:32,300 IN THE DAYTIME, 563 00:26:32,333 --> 00:26:35,600 ART COACHES SWIMMING AT THE REC CENTER, BUT... 564 00:26:35,633 --> 00:26:38,367 PLEASE, I CAN TELL PARKER? PLEASE? 565 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,300 AND COMPROMISE MY SECRET IDENTITY? 566 00:26:40,333 --> 00:26:42,367 NO WAY, MRS. SCAVO. NO WAY. 567 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,233 SECRET IDENTITY? 568 00:26:45,267 --> 00:26:48,167 OH, GREAT, NOW THE CAT'S OUT OF THE BAG. 569 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,100 OH, MIGHT AS WELL TELL HIM. 570 00:26:50,133 --> 00:26:54,067 IT'S OKAY. YOU CAN TRUST HIM, REALLY. 571 00:26:54,067 --> 00:26:58,300 ART IS THE ONE WHO SAVED ME AT THE SUPERMARKET. 572 00:26:58,333 --> 00:27:00,400 HE'S SORT OF A SUPERHERO. 573 00:27:03,300 --> 00:27:06,533 GIVE ME A BREAK. 574 00:27:06,567 --> 00:27:10,267 IT'S TRUE. 575 00:27:10,300 --> 00:27:13,067 ALL RIGHT, IF YOU'RE A SUPERHERO, 576 00:27:13,100 --> 00:27:14,533 WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 577 00:27:14,567 --> 00:27:17,133 I'M... 578 00:27:17,167 --> 00:27:19,067 "PROTECTOR MAN," 579 00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:21,667 BECAUSE I PROTECT PEOPLE FROM BAD GUYS. 580 00:27:24,333 --> 00:27:27,633 MM. YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, DO YOU? 581 00:27:29,233 --> 00:27:31,367 OKAY. 582 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:34,067 I REALLY SHOULDN'T DO THIS, BUT... 583 00:27:35,333 --> 00:27:36,100 (gasps) 584 00:27:36,133 --> 00:27:39,500 WOW! DID YOU REALLY SAVE MY MOM? 585 00:27:39,533 --> 00:27:42,300 I REALLY DID. 586 00:27:42,333 --> 00:27:44,367 HE REALLY DID. 587 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,733 THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY. 588 00:27:46,767 --> 00:27:49,133 THAT'S PROTECTOR MAN'S JOB. 589 00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:53,433 YOUR JOB IS TO RUN AND PLAY AND HAVE FUN. 590 00:27:53,467 --> 00:27:55,400 OKAY? 591 00:27:56,767 --> 00:27:59,133 OKAY. 592 00:27:59,167 --> 00:28:01,067 OKAY. 593 00:28:05,667 --> 00:28:10,367 OH, MY COUSIN WENT TO PURDUE. 594 00:28:20,633 --> 00:28:24,600 WHAT THE HELL? 595 00:28:24,633 --> 00:28:26,467 DELFINO. 596 00:28:26,500 --> 00:28:28,833 NICE TO SEE YOU UP AND ABOUT. 597 00:28:28,867 --> 00:28:30,767 HERE'S OUR SEARCH WARRANT. 598 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,067 SEARCH WARRANT? LET ME SEE THAT. 599 00:28:38,433 --> 00:28:39,733 HOW WE DOING? 600 00:28:39,767 --> 00:28:42,133 WE COULDN'T FIND A TOOLBOX. 601 00:28:42,167 --> 00:28:44,667 THE MAN'S A PLUMBER. KEEP LOOKING. 602 00:28:44,700 --> 00:28:46,600 SIR, I CAN'T FIND A THING. 603 00:28:46,633 --> 00:28:49,067 YOU TIRED? UNH-UNH. 604 00:28:51,067 --> 00:28:54,067 (man speaking indistinctly) 605 00:28:54,067 --> 00:28:55,300 (giggles) 606 00:28:55,333 --> 00:28:56,367 YOU, COME WITH ME. 607 00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:59,167 MARCELLA, LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY TOLD YOU, 608 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,467 BUT ALL I'M ASKING FOR IS A SIMPLE COSTUME CHANGE. 609 00:29:01,500 --> 00:29:03,400 YOU DON'T GET TO PULL DIVA CRAP. 610 00:29:03,433 --> 00:29:05,333 TANYA GETS AWAY WITH IT BECAUSE SHE'S A STAR. 611 00:29:05,367 --> 00:29:08,667 YOU ARE NOTHING. WHERE DO YOU GET OFF TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT? 612 00:29:08,700 --> 00:29:11,567 I SHOT 36 COVERS BY THE TIME I WAS 20! 613 00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:13,800 WELL, YOU'RE 30 NOW. 614 00:29:13,833 --> 00:29:16,067 WHEN YOU MAKE THAT FACE, YOU LOOK 35. 615 00:29:16,100 --> 00:29:18,200 DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PHOTOGRAPHERS 616 00:29:18,233 --> 00:29:21,100 WOULD DIE TO WORK WITH ME AGAIN? YEAH. ZERO. 617 00:29:21,133 --> 00:29:24,100 I HAD TO CALL IN MAJOR FAVORS JUST TO GET YOU THIS JOB. 618 00:29:24,133 --> 00:29:27,433 I DON'T BELIEVE THAT. WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T BELIEVE? 619 00:29:27,467 --> 00:29:30,333 YOU GAVE UP A BRILLIANT CAREER TO PLAY HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS, 620 00:29:30,367 --> 00:29:32,267 AND THE MINUTE IT FALLS APART, 621 00:29:32,300 --> 00:29:34,200 YOU COME BACK HERE EXPECTING A HOMECOMING PARADE. 622 00:29:34,233 --> 00:29:37,133 WELL, GUESS WHAT, SWEETIE? WE'VE MOVED ON. 623 00:29:37,167 --> 00:29:39,467 NOW GET YOUR POLYESTER ASS OVER THERE 624 00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:43,500 AND ACT LIKE THE PRO YOU USED TO BE. 625 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:50,567 (Durkin) BEAUTIFUL, TANYA. THAT'S IT. CHIN UP. FANTASTIC! 626 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:53,467 MOTHER, HOLD THE PLATE HIGHER. 627 00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:56,567 (camera shutter clicking) 628 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,533 BEAUTIFUL, TANYA. OH, YOU ARE GORGEOUS! 629 00:29:59,567 --> 00:30:01,467 YES, GIRL! LOVELY, LOVELY! 630 00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:04,333 (doorbell rings) 631 00:30:04,367 --> 00:30:06,500 HIYA, MIKE. WELCOME HOME. YOU REMEMBER ME? 632 00:30:06,533 --> 00:30:08,200 YEAH, I-I THINK SO. 633 00:30:08,233 --> 00:30:11,200 THE--THE CORNER HOUSE WITH ALL THE GNOMES OUT FRONT? 634 00:30:11,233 --> 00:30:13,800 YOU'RE THINKING OF MARTHA HUBER. TERRIBLE STORY. 635 00:30:13,833 --> 00:30:15,167 SOMEONE BEAT HER TO DEATH, 636 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:17,233 AND THEN BURIED HER IN THE FOREST. 637 00:30:17,267 --> 00:30:19,567 IRONIC, HUH? ISN'T THAT WHERE GNOMES LIVE? 638 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,467 I DON'T REALLY KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT GNOMES. 639 00:30:22,500 --> 00:30:25,133 ANYWAY, I KNOW THE COPS WERE HERE EARLIER. 640 00:30:25,167 --> 00:30:26,600 SO? 641 00:30:26,633 --> 00:30:29,633 WELL, YOU WON'T REMEMBER THIS, BUT ONE NIGHT TWO YEARS AGO, 642 00:30:29,667 --> 00:30:32,733 YOU DROVE ME TO THE HOSPITAL AFTER I HAD AN ATTACK OF ANGINA. 643 00:30:32,767 --> 00:30:35,133 PROBABLY SAVED MY LIFE. 644 00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:38,233 ANYWAY, I FIGURE I OWE YA. HERE. 645 00:30:38,267 --> 00:30:40,700 YOU MIGHT WANNA WASH THAT WRENCH OFF. 646 00:30:40,733 --> 00:30:43,100 IT'S GOT SOMETHING ON IT. 647 00:30:47,433 --> 00:30:49,333 SORRY I'M LATE. 648 00:30:49,367 --> 00:30:52,467 MRS. PRESCOTT BROKE A CROWN AND... 649 00:30:52,500 --> 00:30:56,167 ORSON, HOW WELL YOU LOOK. 650 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:59,533 HELLO, MOTHER. 651 00:30:59,567 --> 00:31:01,567 A WORD, DARLING? 652 00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:08,533 (whispering) I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS! 653 00:31:08,567 --> 00:31:11,600 AND I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOLD ME THAT SHE WAS SENILE! 654 00:31:11,633 --> 00:31:14,500 YOU LIED TO ME. YES, TO SPARE US THE MISERY OF HER COMPANY. 655 00:31:14,533 --> 00:31:17,133 YOU DON'T KNOW HER, BREE. SHE'S A LOATHSOME WOMAN, 656 00:31:17,167 --> 00:31:19,500 AND I REFUSE TO BREAK BREAD WITH HER. 657 00:31:19,533 --> 00:31:21,800 NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME. THAT WOMAN GAVE YOU LIFE, 658 00:31:21,833 --> 00:31:24,800 AND THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT TELLS US TO HONOR OUR PARENTS 659 00:31:24,833 --> 00:31:27,733 NO MATTER HOW HIDEOUS OR REPELLENT THEY MAY BE. THAT'S NOT EXACTLY WHAT-- 660 00:31:27,767 --> 00:31:29,333 ORSON, IT'S IMPLIED! 661 00:31:29,367 --> 00:31:31,700 NOW GET OUT THERE AND SHOW HER SOME RESPECT! 662 00:31:31,733 --> 00:31:33,833 FINE, BUT IF YOU EXPECT ANYTHING MORE FROM ME 663 00:31:33,867 --> 00:31:35,367 THAN FORCED CIVILITY, 664 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,500 YOU WILL BE DEEPLY DISAPPOINTED. 665 00:31:42,367 --> 00:31:44,367 BREE, THIS SALMON IS SUPERB. 666 00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:46,067 WELL, THANK YOU! 667 00:31:46,100 --> 00:31:48,733 IT DID WIN ME THE BLUE RIBBON AT THE GOURMET COUNTY COOKOFF. 668 00:31:48,767 --> 00:31:51,633 I JUST LOVE THE SAUCE. WHAT GIVES IT THAT KICK? 669 00:31:51,667 --> 00:31:55,500 AH, AH, AH! YOU'D NEVER ASK A MAGICIAN HOW A TRICK IS DONE. 670 00:31:55,533 --> 00:31:57,400 (laughs) 671 00:31:57,433 --> 00:32:00,367 YOU'VE BARELY TOUCHED YOUR SALMON, DEAR. 672 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:02,300 IS EVERYTHING OKAY? 673 00:32:02,333 --> 00:32:06,367 YES. I WAS JUST WONDERING WHY YOU'RE HERE. 674 00:32:08,067 --> 00:32:09,800 I WANT US TO BE FRIENDS. 675 00:32:09,833 --> 00:32:11,167 OKAY, LET'S SUPPOSE 676 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:14,067 I JUST HAD A MASSIVE HEAD INJURY AND BELIEVE YOU. 677 00:32:14,100 --> 00:32:15,833 WE'RE PALS. NOW WHAT DO YOU WANT? 678 00:32:15,867 --> 00:32:19,133 ORSON, WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO HAVE AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE? 679 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:23,833 I WANT OUT OF THAT HOME. 680 00:32:23,867 --> 00:32:26,467 AH, THERE IT IS. IT'S A HELLHOLE! 681 00:32:26,500 --> 00:32:28,133 BESIDES, I'M PERFECTLY HEALTHY NOW. 682 00:32:28,167 --> 00:32:31,633 MY HIP IS BETTER, I CAN HANDLE THE STAIRS, AND YOU SAID 683 00:32:31,667 --> 00:32:34,733 WHEN I GOT STRONG ENOUGH I'D GET TO GO BACK TO MY HOUSE. 684 00:32:34,767 --> 00:32:37,700 OH, HERE'S THE THING-- I SOLD IT. 685 00:32:37,733 --> 00:32:40,500 WHAT? 686 00:32:40,533 --> 00:32:43,167 YOU HEARD ME. 687 00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,433 WHAT ABOUT MY THINGS? 688 00:32:45,467 --> 00:32:47,500 ALL GONE. OH, I ALSO SOLD THE CAR. 689 00:32:47,533 --> 00:32:49,433 SEE, THAT'S THE THING ABOUT HELLHOLES. 690 00:32:49,467 --> 00:32:51,767 THEY DON'T PAY FOR THEMSELVES. 691 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,667 HOW DARE YOU?! YOU HAD NO RIGHT! 692 00:32:54,700 --> 00:32:58,100 OKAY! MAYBE I WILL SHARE MY SECRET INGREDIENT. 693 00:32:58,133 --> 00:33:00,167 I SHOULD HAVE SMOTHERED YOU IN YOUR CRIB 694 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:01,600 WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE. 695 00:33:01,633 --> 00:33:04,200 PAPRIKA! THERE, IT'S OUT! 696 00:33:04,233 --> 00:33:06,467 THAT'S THE MOTHER I REMEMBER! 697 00:33:06,500 --> 00:33:09,133 I WAS WONDERING WHEN SHE'D SHOW UP. 698 00:33:09,167 --> 00:33:13,200 YES, ORSON, I AM YOUR MOTHER, 699 00:33:13,233 --> 00:33:17,633 SO YOU MORE THAN ANYONE SHOULD KNOW HOW I DEAL WITH BETRAYAL. 700 00:33:23,433 --> 00:33:25,667 SO... 701 00:33:25,700 --> 00:33:27,700 CAN WE CALL HER GRANDMA? 702 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,267 I'VE GOT ONE MORE LOAD, AND THEN I'M GONNA DO MY HOMEWORK. 703 00:33:41,300 --> 00:33:42,533 DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT ME TO THROW IN? 704 00:33:42,567 --> 00:33:44,567 NO, I'M GOOD. THANKS. 705 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:51,700 MOM, LISTEN... 706 00:33:51,733 --> 00:33:54,067 I KNOW I'VE PUT YOU THROUGH THE WRINGER LATELY, 707 00:33:54,067 --> 00:33:56,067 AND I'M SORRY. 708 00:33:56,067 --> 00:33:58,767 (sighs) 16 YEARS OF BEING PERFECT. 709 00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:00,300 YOU WERE DUE. 710 00:34:00,333 --> 00:34:03,167 THAT'S WHAT I DON'T GET. 711 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:05,700 YOU'VE ALWAYS TRUSTED MY JUDGMENT. 712 00:34:05,733 --> 00:34:08,167 WHY CAN'T YOU TRUST ME ABOUT AUSTIN? 713 00:34:10,100 --> 00:34:13,433 RELATIONSHIPS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH GOOD JUDGMENT. 714 00:34:13,467 --> 00:34:15,633 IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SMART YOU ARE. 715 00:34:15,667 --> 00:34:17,667 YOU CAN STILL GET HURT. 716 00:34:19,533 --> 00:34:23,067 YOU DO YOUR HOMEWORK. I'M GONNA FINISH THE LAUNDRY. 717 00:34:23,067 --> 00:34:24,333 OKAY. 718 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,433 (sighs) 719 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:42,667 THERE YOU GO, MRS. H. 720 00:34:42,700 --> 00:34:44,733 ALL RIGHT. 721 00:34:44,767 --> 00:34:47,300 CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM, JUST... 722 00:34:47,333 --> 00:34:50,200 COME ON IN. OH, THANK YOU. 723 00:34:50,233 --> 00:34:53,433 PLEASE, STAY FOR DESSERT. 724 00:34:53,467 --> 00:34:56,067 I'LL WORK ON ORSON, AND WE'LL DISCUSS THIS TOGETHER. 725 00:34:56,100 --> 00:34:57,800 YOU SAW WHAT HE SENTENCED ME TO-- 726 00:34:57,833 --> 00:35:00,700 A ROOM NO BETTER THAN A FURNISHED COFFIN. 727 00:35:00,733 --> 00:35:02,633 I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO HIM. 728 00:35:02,667 --> 00:35:03,733 WELL, THEN TALK TO ME. 729 00:35:03,767 --> 00:35:06,833 I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET, BUT DON'T SHUT ME OUT. PLEASE. 730 00:35:06,867 --> 00:35:08,833 PLEASE, GLORIA, 731 00:35:08,867 --> 00:35:11,667 LET ME IN. 732 00:35:11,700 --> 00:35:15,467 WELL, I... I DIDN'T MEAN IT LITERALLY, BUT OKAY. 733 00:35:15,500 --> 00:35:17,400 WE'LL, UM, WE'LL SIT TOGETHER... (engine starts) 734 00:35:17,433 --> 00:35:19,333 AND WE'LL TALK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 735 00:35:19,367 --> 00:35:21,267 I'M NOT GOING BACK TO THAT PLACE. 736 00:35:21,300 --> 00:35:23,633 (Bree) AAH! GLORIA, STOP! 737 00:35:23,667 --> 00:35:26,067 LET'S GET MY MOTHER BACK TO THE HOME, SHALL WE? 738 00:35:26,067 --> 00:35:28,467 YEAH. UM, UH, NOT THAT IT'S ANY OF MY BUSINESS, 739 00:35:28,500 --> 00:35:30,400 BUT, UH, IS EVERYTHING OKAY WITH YOU FOLKS? 740 00:35:30,433 --> 00:35:32,333 OH, YEAH, THERE WAS A LITTLE TENSION EARLIER, 741 00:35:32,367 --> 00:35:34,267 BUT I THINK IT'S ALL BEEN RESOLVED. OH. 742 00:35:34,300 --> 00:35:35,767 (brakes squeal, loud crash) 743 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,500 (water gushing) 744 00:35:38,533 --> 00:35:42,300 OH, WHAT THE HELL?! 745 00:35:47,467 --> 00:35:49,367 (Orson) NO, I ABSOLUTELY FORBID IT! 746 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:51,300 JUST FOR A FEW WEEKS 747 00:35:51,333 --> 00:35:53,500 TILL WE FIND A PLACE WHERE SHE'LL BE HAPPIER. 748 00:35:53,533 --> 00:35:55,833 YOU SHOULD'VE HEARD HER IN THE CAR. 749 00:35:55,867 --> 00:35:58,733 SHE'S ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE IN THAT NURSING HOME. I DON'T CARE. 750 00:35:58,767 --> 00:36:00,667 MY MOTHER'S NOT MOVING IN HERE 751 00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:04,100 TILL SHE FITS IN A JAR ON THE MANTLE. (whispers) HOW CAN YOU BE SO COLD? 752 00:36:04,133 --> 00:36:06,833 YOU DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS. 753 00:36:06,867 --> 00:36:09,667 I'VE WORKED MY ENTIRE LIFE TO GET AWAY FROM THAT WOMAN. 754 00:36:09,700 --> 00:36:12,367 WHY? WHAT COULD SHE POSSIBLY HAVE DONE 755 00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:14,600 TO MAKE YOU HATE HER SO MUCH? 756 00:36:14,633 --> 00:36:16,533 LOOK, THERE IS NOTHING TO BE GAINED 757 00:36:16,567 --> 00:36:18,167 BY DREDGING UP THE PAST. 758 00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:22,833 ORSON, IF THERE'S SOMETHING I SHOULD KNOW... 759 00:36:22,867 --> 00:36:26,700 COULD I SPEAK TO MY SON A MOMENT? 760 00:36:26,733 --> 00:36:29,333 OF COURSE. 761 00:36:31,833 --> 00:36:34,067 (clears throat) 762 00:36:34,100 --> 00:36:35,567 SO YOU KNOW, 763 00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:40,467 I'VE DECIDED TO ACCEPT YOUR WIFE'S KIND INVITATION. 764 00:36:40,500 --> 00:36:41,367 I WON'T ALLOW IT. 765 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,367 OH, I THINK YOU WILL. 766 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:45,767 WE'RE GOING TO END OUR QUARREL RIGHT NOW, 767 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:49,467 OR I'LL TELL YOUR WIFE WHAT IT'S ABOUT. 768 00:36:49,500 --> 00:36:51,800 YOU WOULDN'T. 769 00:36:51,833 --> 00:36:54,067 JUST TRY ME. 770 00:36:54,067 --> 00:36:56,100 I GAVE YOU LIFE. 771 00:36:56,133 --> 00:36:59,233 YOU KNOW I WON'T HESITATE TO TAKE IT AWAY. 772 00:37:06,433 --> 00:37:09,500 NOW GIVE MOTHER A KISS. 773 00:37:09,533 --> 00:37:12,200 WHY IN THE HELL WOULD I WANNA DO THAT? 774 00:37:12,233 --> 00:37:15,567 TO MAKE IT LOOK REAL. 775 00:37:34,633 --> 00:37:36,767 THANK YOU. HEY, YOU'RE BACK! OH! 776 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,200 I'D GIVE YOU A HUG, BUT I'M REALLY SWEATY. 777 00:37:39,233 --> 00:37:41,133 SO HOW WAS NEW YORK? OH, IT WAS FINE. 778 00:37:41,167 --> 00:37:43,467 BREE SAID YOU GOT A JOB ON THE FIRST DAY. 779 00:37:43,500 --> 00:37:45,767 YOU'RE SUCH A STAR! I WANT DETAILS. 780 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:47,700 OH. (laughs) YOU KNOW, JUST HOURS AND HOURS 781 00:37:47,733 --> 00:37:49,633 OF SITTING AROUND, LOOKING PRETTY. (chuckles) 782 00:37:49,667 --> 00:37:51,567 BUT I THINK I'M DONE WITH MODELING. 783 00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,633 SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA MOVE TO NEW YORK? 784 00:37:53,667 --> 00:37:56,567 WELL, IF SOMETHING GREAT COMES UP, I-I MIGHT FLY OUT, 785 00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:58,800 BUT I'M PRETTY SETTLED HERE. (chuckles) 786 00:37:58,833 --> 00:38:01,700 OH, THANK GOD! WE WERE ALL SO WORRIED WE WERE LOSING YOU. 787 00:38:01,733 --> 00:38:03,800 OKAY, NOW I'M HUGGING YOU. (both laugh) 788 00:38:06,433 --> 00:38:07,733 OH, IT'S AMAZING. 789 00:38:07,767 --> 00:38:09,667 YOUR LIFE IS SUCH AN ADVENTURE. 790 00:38:09,700 --> 00:38:12,667 CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU DO NEXT. (chuckles) 791 00:38:12,700 --> 00:38:14,667 YEAH, ME, TOO. 792 00:38:20,700 --> 00:38:22,333 OKAY. 793 00:38:26,067 --> 00:38:27,200 HUH. 794 00:38:29,700 --> 00:38:32,533 MR. PROTECTOR MAN? (whispers) SHH, SHH, SHH! THAT'S A SECRET. 795 00:38:32,567 --> 00:38:34,567 HELLO? 796 00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:36,067 HELLO? 797 00:38:39,700 --> 00:38:41,333 AH, SWEET! 798 00:38:41,367 --> 00:38:42,833 (train whistle toots) 799 00:38:42,867 --> 00:38:45,233 (chugging) 800 00:38:45,267 --> 00:38:46,400 MOM, LOOK! 801 00:38:46,433 --> 00:38:47,833 HEY, DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING. 802 00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:52,267 I'M JUST GONNA WRITE A NOTE, AND THEN WE'LL GO. 803 00:38:52,300 --> 00:38:53,733 OKAY. 804 00:38:55,733 --> 00:38:58,733 PARKER? HEY! 805 00:38:58,767 --> 00:39:00,667 COME BACK HERE! 806 00:39:00,700 --> 00:39:05,200 HONEY? COME ON, WE'RE LEAVING. 807 00:39:05,233 --> 00:39:06,367 PARKER. 808 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:10,067 PARKER, COME ON, WE'RE LEAVING. 809 00:39:10,100 --> 00:39:12,700 WHY DIDN'T YOU COME WHEN I CALLED? 810 00:39:12,733 --> 00:39:15,067 (music playing on pinball machine) 811 00:39:16,700 --> 00:39:20,067 SUPERHERO HOUSES ARE GREAT! 812 00:39:54,233 --> 00:39:56,533 PARKER, COME ON, WE'RE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE. 813 00:39:56,567 --> 00:39:59,233 WHY? OH, I JUST SAY SO. COME ON. 814 00:40:04,533 --> 00:40:06,800 THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS 815 00:40:06,833 --> 00:40:09,800 WE WISH WE COULD TELL THE YOUNG. 816 00:40:11,333 --> 00:40:15,400 WE'D LIKE TO PERSUADE THEM NOT TO GROW UP SO FAST, 817 00:40:15,433 --> 00:40:18,433 BUT THEY WON'T LISTEN. 818 00:40:18,467 --> 00:40:21,767 WE WANT TO TELL THEM THAT BEAUTY FADES... 819 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:23,700 (Durkin) LET'S SEE THE LOOK, DARLING. 820 00:40:23,733 --> 00:40:25,633 BUT THEY REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT. 821 00:40:25,667 --> 00:40:27,567 (camera shutter clicking) 822 00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:32,333 WE WARN THEM THAT THEIR ACTIONS WILL HAVE CONSEQUENCES, 823 00:40:32,367 --> 00:40:36,567 BUT STILL THEY DEFY US. 824 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,833 SADLY, THE YOUNG CAN'T BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND 825 00:40:39,867 --> 00:40:42,200 THE WORLD IS A DANGEROUS PLACE. 826 00:40:42,233 --> 00:40:46,333 SO IT'S UP TO US TO DO ANYTHING WE CAN 827 00:40:46,367 --> 00:40:48,533 TO PROTECT THEM. 828 00:40:48,567 --> 00:40:50,100 WHAT IF I TOLD YOU 829 00:40:50,133 --> 00:40:52,033 THERE IS A WAY YOU COULD HELP CHILDREN... 830 00:40:52,067 --> 00:40:54,067 ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING. 61436

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