All language subtitles for 1x12 route 7-11

The Dukes trade General Lee
for a bigger rig.

It is an 18-wheeIer.

There's two of us.
That's nine wheeIs apiece.

Turns out to be a rolling casino.

Now, you remember, you promised
to win me a mink coat, hot cakes.

Just find out what's rotten
inside that truck.

We'II spIit the booty 60-40.

Hang on to your chips.

WeII, Cooter? What do you think?

There ain't no doubt about it,
you got big troubIe.

How Iong has he been crawIing Iike this?

It started yesterday
when we tried to push him over 150.

It staIIed right out at 125.

What you got here is a sad, sick car...

with a dried-out, busted bearing.

If you'd greased them bearings
the other night Iike I toId you...

instead of spooning that MacKenzie girI...

the GeneraI might not be in this condition.

Now, l'll tell you, folks, if l had my choice
between greasing a car...

and necking with a pretty girl...

l'd be wearing the same silly smile
that old Bo is.

How Iong is it going to take?

We're going to need him by Saturday
for the Cherokee County Dirt Road CIassic.

I can have him out of here by tomorrow.

-Cooter, we Iove you.
-For $180.

How quickIy Iove can turn to hate.

Cooter, where are we going to get $180?

I heard about a job.

Cooter, are you out of your mind?

Cooter, you know we can't Ieave
Jesse's farm for steady work.

It's onIy for a coupIe of days.

That steady?

It's for the GeneraI.

AII right, Cooter, Iet's have it.

I heard some peopIe are Iooking
for drivers for an 18-wheeIer.

Some folks say that
old Boss Hogg could smell out a chance...

to make a crooked dollar ten miles away.

And nothing improved his sense
of smelling more than a nice mint julep.

Boss hated them.

But he looked so good drinking them.

Here you are, Boss. Nice, fresh mint juIep.

If you don't mind, I'm gonna join you.

Rosco, you are in uniform and on duty.

It ain't fitting to be tempted
by the demon aIcohoI.

-Boss, isn't that HeIen Hogan?
-HeIen Hogan!

What's HeIen Hogan doing
in Hazzard County in an 18-wheeIer?

Whatever it is, it's bound to be a scam.

Brazen woman.

Last time she come through here,
she was seIIing stock...

in the Hazzard County dog racing track...

But we don't have a dog racing track.

-...without asking my permission.
-She didn't ask your permission?

Then skedaddIing with the Ioot.

You know, she spIit without spIitting.

That's what makes her so brazen.

You just bird-dog that 18-wheeIer.

You find out
what's reaIIy going on in there.

And when you do, you arrest her...

and everybody working for her.

-And we'II spIit the booty.
-You're gonna spIit that booty.

60-40.

-60-40?
-WouId you prefer it 70-30?

No, 60-40 wiII be fine.

We'II spIit it right down the middIe
and then hook a right.

-What's that?
-I said you were right.

-Get on with it.
-I'm gone.

Like the Boss said...

Helen Hogan ain't
your everyday, basic, psalm-singing lady.

Although she does believe
in equal rights...

fair play, and justice for all...

except when any of it gets in her way.

-May we heIp you?
-We, who's we?

Hi, feIIas.

Luke and me heard
that y'aII are Iooking for a coupIe of men...

to drive this here rig for a coupIe of days.

You heard right,
depending on whether y'aII can handIe it.

-We can handIe it.
-Are you sure?

It is an 18-wheeIer.

There's two of us.
That's nine wheeIs apiece.

Okay. Artie, give him the keys.

Thank you.

I'II drive.

Care to watch up front?

That's the best offer I've had aII day.

They sure Iook Iike
a coupIe of reaI hick-a-biIIies.

They shouId be perfect.

-My name is HeIen. What's yours?
-Luke.

-This is my cousin, Bo.
-Hi, Bo.

-HeIIo, HeIen.
-Okay, Iet's see if you have any taIent.

Watch this.

-Is this the best you can do?
-No, ma'am...

this is the best I can do.

I'd sure hate to seII that kid insurance.

Where did you ever Iearn
to drive an 18-wheeIer Iike that?

I never did Iearn. That was my first time.

That Iooked Iike a Iot of fun.
Why don't you Iet me try?

Never mind. I don't wanna grow gray
before my time.

You know what, boys?
You got yourseIves a job.

Ma'am, there's just one thing
that we didn't discuss yet.

I was wondering--

$200 for both of you for two days...

starting first thing tomorrow morning.
DeaI?

-You got it.
-Good.

-We'II see you in the morning.
-Make sure you'II be here at 9:00 sharp.

That is, if you boys know
how to teII the time.

Let's see, what was that?

That's when the IittIe hand's
on the 12 and the big hand's on the 9.

I think you got it backwards.

It's when the IittIe hand's on 9
and the big hand's on 12.

-Yeah, that's how it is.
-We were just Iearning that Iast week.

-See you in the morning, ma'am.
-Take care, SmiIey.

They're gonna be perfect.

Dewey StovaII. We ain't seeing you at aII.

Why, you rascaIs, you.

We figured it wouId take a fIood or a fire
to roust you out of Choctaw County.

-WeII, just passing through.
-Without stopping by to see UncIe Jesse?

He ain't gonna take too kindIy to that...

especiaIIy you and him
being friends so Iong.

How about coming to supper tonight
and surprising him?

Tonight?

-No, I'm kind of tied up tonight.
-Then we'II make it tomorrow night.

We ain't gonna take no for an answer.

-Done.
-We'II see you Iater, Dewey.

Tomorrow night.

Step right in, Iadies and gentIemen.

-AII them peopIe going aIong, too?
-They sure ain't Hazzard County foIk.

I suppose you boys have a right to know
what this is aII about.

And I'm going to teII you. Here's my card.

''Armstrong-Peterson
Shock Absorber Company.

-''HeIen Hogan, President.''
-That's me.

We're about to demonstrate some
revoIutionary new shock absorbers...

to some prospective distributors
and they are from different counties.

You trying to teII us that aII these peopIe
are here to ride on some fancy shocks?

-Why, that's right, Bo.
-We're aII set, HeIen.

Okay, gentIemen, start your engine.
Good Iuck.

It's just about time
to demonstrate our new shocks.

Boss, this is Sheriff Rosco.

Them Duke boys just drove off
in that big 18-wheeIer.

Now we know
there's something rotten in Denmark.

You forget about Denmark, dimwit.

Just find out what's rotten
inside that truck. Over.

That's a big ten-four, good buddy.

Rosco, if there's one thing in this worId
I'm not...

it's your good buddy.

I'm gone.

Check out that aIternator gauge.

Something is making that needIe
highIy nervous.

There?

Kind of pecuIiar, ain't it?

You beIieve aII that fancy taIk
about shock absorbers?

-Do you?
-No.

Maybe there's hope for you yet.

I'm going to cIimb back there
and see what's reaIIy going on.

Do me a favor and watch that first step,
'cause beIieve me...

it's a diIIy.

The wheeI is turning.
Put your money down, pIease.

There she goes. Somebody's gonna
be a Iucky winner right here.

Thirty-six, red. The house wins again.

You aImost had it.
Why don't you try again?

-How's it going?
-Not too good, ma'am.

Here's something for good Iuck.

What do you reckon a nice old geezer
like Dewey Stovall...

is doing in a place like this?

You know, Luke, that reaIIy ticks me off.

I mean, aII that taIk about shock absorbers
back there...

and the whoIe time,
they got a IittIe Vegas running.

In Vegas at Ieast
you got a chance of winning.

You're sure that was Dewey StovaII
sitting in that poker game?

-And Iosing.
-Bad, huh?

PIay it cooI.

Nice driving, feIIas. Same time tomorrow?

At these wages,
you can have us any time, day or night.

I might just take you up on that.

How did those peopIe
Iike the shock absorbers?

They Ioved them.

As a matter of fact, most of them want us
to take them for another ride tomorrow.

Yeah, that's just what
they're gonna get, too.

But not Dewey. Let's go find him.

Don't Iook now, but Rosco is up there
in that window bird-dogging something.

It onIy goes to show we ain't
spIitting this operation a second too soon.

You'II just have to sit a mite Ionger,
Mr. StovaII.

I'm aImost finished pressing these pants.

I wish I couId say the same for your jacket.

How the heck did you get it so dirty?

I feII getting out of the truck
on the edge of town.

-We didn't even stop at the edge of town.
-I know.

But after I Iost the money, I couIdn't
bear to stay in there another minute.

I don't bIame you.
He was pIaying a crooked game.

I saw him work the gizmo
on that rouIette wheeI myseIf.

But I was pIaying poker.

It's a cinch,
if they fixed one game, they fixed them aII.

You know, our friend Dewey
didn't even stand a chance.

Daisy, do you want to turn around?

-I guess I got what was coming to me.
-How's that?

For being a fooI.

AII my Iife, I've been happy
running my IittIe hardware store...

untiI that big city chain come to town and
took away about haIf of my business.

What did you do?

Sorry.

I figured to fight fire with fire
and make my store just as big as theirs.

OnIy thing is, I didn't have money enough
to do the job right, so....

So you figured you'd gambIe
whatever you had and make the big kiII.

But what I have or had
was every cent Lucy and I ever owned.

$1,200.

Mr. StovaII, if we couId get
your money back...

wouId you promise not to go back
to that gambIing truck?

Sure, Luke, but how--

Never mind how.

Luke's got that Iook in his eye again.

And right after he gets that Iook in his eye,
he goes:

''I got it. Let's go, Bo.''

And I get into troubIe.

I got it. Let's go, Bo.

See what I mean?

-Luke, what are you up to?
-It's simpIe.

AII we do is steaI back the $1,200
they stoIe from Mr. StovaII.

As Iong as it's simpIe.

For a minute there, I thought we were
gonna have to do something iIIegaI.

-Daisy.
-Yeah?

You can turn around now.

What do you suppose they'II reaIIy do?

Now, Rosco didn't just
fall off the turnip wagon.

He knew the only way
that he could get into Helen's truck...

to find out what was going on
was to fake out the gorilla on guard.

And he figured
Enos was too innocent-looking...

to arouse anyone's suspicion.

Just look at it.
You can almost hear him grin.

By the time the Dukes showed up
to grab the safe with old Dewey's money...

the first gorilla
was looking for the second gorilla.

And nobody knew that there was
a bloodhound named Rosco inside.

WeII, hotshot,
what are we going to do now?

Not we. You.

Just keep him busy
tiII I can make it to the truck.

It's just a IittIe safe.

I can aIways whistIe for heIp
if I can't Iift it aIone.

Wish me Iuck.

Morgan, buddy.

Can I taIk to you for a minute?

Wait. Just a second.
I ain't got time, I've got to find Art.

-But this is kind of important.
-Go ahead.

Luke and me were wondering
if we couId get an advance on our saIary.

Wait a minute. Excuse me, my man.
That's not my department.

You might have to make it
your department.

We don't know
if we'II be abIe to come back...

and drive that truck for you tomorrow
without some money.

Let me see what I can do.

You think $100 is gonna be enough?

$100 wiII be just fine.

Hey, Art!

Art, you in here?

Is that you, Enos?

What are you doing in here?

I thought you were going to
decoy that feIIow away from here.

You know something?
You're a danged idiot.

That's the most inteIIigent thing
you've said since I've met you.

Hush. You just hush.

You know what we got here?

We got enough stuff here for Boss and I
to start our own casino.

There's no teIIing
how much is in that safe over there.

WiII you stop moaning and groaning?

I'm gonna spIit with you just Iike the Boss
spIits with me, right down the middIe.

I'm gonna give you 10% of my 25% .

Roger.

-Things are just fine.
-Satisfied?

-I toId you it'd check out.
-Just routine, sir.

Where you been? You are supposed
to be watching the truck.

The IocaI fuzz wanted to check me out.
Everything okay here?

It wiII be
as soon as you put these chains on.

Did you hear that?

We can get trapped in here.

We'II have to make a break for it.
You go first.

You know, if there's one thing I hate,
it's cowards.

AII right, we'II both go first.

On the count of three:

One, two, three.

Helen's hoods never even saw
who knocked them cold.

How did you beat me here?

WiII you stop using them dumb sounds
and taIk reguIar EngIish?

Just 'cause this plan failed...

that don't mean that Luke ain't got
another way to get Dewey's money back.

But it's gonna take a real expert
to pull this one off.

GambIe? Are you asking me to.... Never.

But aII those games
are crooked, UncIe Jesse.

Maybe if they were honest,
Dewey might have won.

Don't you bet on that, IittIe girI.

I know aII there is to know about that, too.

That's just why we need your heIp.

Nobody on that truck
couId ever recognize you.

Forget it, Luke.

AII this is nothing but my own doing.

I'II get out of it myseIf,
even if I am a durned oId fooI.

You and me have been friends...

Ionger than I care to remember.

But you gotta understand...

these boys are asking me...

to go against everything
I ever taught and stood for.

I know, Jesse.

Of course, it couId be
you just can't remember how, Jesse.

Remember how.

Boy, before he saw the Iight...

my granddaddy worked every gambIing
boat up and down the Mississippi...

and he taught me everything he knew
whiIe I was stiII just a tad.

Let's just drop it.
It probabIy wouIdn't have worked anyway.

What do you mean,
it wouIdn't have worked?

It wouId have worked good.
It was a good idea.

You don't beIieve me?

Watch this.

Think your oId UncIe Jesse
can't handIe cards...

you got another think coming.
Daisy, where are the cards?

Y'all take a good look...

'cause we are only going
to show this once.

You stiII think it wouIdn't have worked?

I guess we'II never know.

I don't want you three to get the idea...

that I don't know you've been shucking
and jiving me for the Iast 10 minutes.

And my answer is stiII....

Maybe just this once.

Somehow l knew he was gonna be
on that gambling truck the next day...

didn't you?

-Hurry it up, wiII you, Luke?
-I'm aImost finished, aII right?

Years ago, somebody said...

'"The only way to beat a crooked game
is to take the crooked part...

'"and bend it back into shape yourself. '"

That ought to do it. Come on. Hop in.

-You sure that IittIe thing's gonna work?
-Cooter guaranteed it.

You just fIip this switch on cue...

and that rouIette wheeI
wiII drop Jesse a bundIe.

Take a peek and see if Rosco's
stiII bird-dogging us from that window.

WiII do.

What are you doing? Trying to tip him off?

He ain't moved. He's stiII up there.

WhiIe I keep him busy,
you keep this rig roIIing...

-untiI Jesse wins that money back.
-Right.

Speak of the deviI, Iook who's coming.

So you say that Dewey StovaII
suggested that you drop by.

Yes, ma'am.
Yancy Peckinpaugh's my name...

and this here's
my traveIing companion, Betty-Lou.

-I'm charmed.
-Honored, I assure you.

Now, you remember, you promised
to win me a mink coat, hot cakes.

Where is Mr. StovaII?

He come down with the vapors,
I am sorry to say.

But he said...

that perhaps I couId repIace him
as a distributor?

You see any probIem?

None at aII.

Won't you come right this way, pIease?

Where did UncIe Jesse
get a Ioad of money Iike that?

He didn't.

Under that $100 biII we gave him...

there ain't nothing
but scraps of a maiI-order cataIog.

Oh, boy.

Let's roII.

Boss, they're moving out.

Come on.

Don't you move in too fast, Rosco.

Give the suckers an hour or two to Iose
their money before you get them.

That's a big ten-four.

Enos, this is Sheriff Rosco.
Are you standing by?

Come on.

Enos standing by as instructed, Sheriff.

Any further orders
other than standing by...

I'II be standing by to hear them. Over.

You dipstick.

Over.

Cooter, this is Luke. You read me?

Cooter, you there? Come back.

Cooter, come in.

Cooter, it's Luke.

Crazy Cooter coming at you.
TaIk to me, Truck-stop.

Be ready to make the pickup
in exactIy five minutes. Copy that?

Check. ExactIy five minutes.

Give or take a minute,
'cause I ain't got no watch.

Mr. StovaII, you wait right here.

I'II be back directIy.

Left by the side of the road again.

I guess it's aII part of the pIan.

It'II be a whoIe Iot easier...

if I'd just puII over to the side
and Iet you out.

Can't. If we make even one stop,
they're gonna smeII a rat.

They'II cIose up them games,
and we'II be right back where we started.

Thirteen, bIack. We got a winner here.

-I thought you were gonna pIay poker.
-I am.

But first, I got to buiId up a stake
on this here rouIette tabIe.

Here you are.

-Thank you, ma'am.
-No, it's on the house.

-Thank you.
-It's my pIeasure.

-Are you having a nice time?
-Sure enough.

This game here with the white baII
Iooks pretty interesting.

I do beIieve it's caIIed rouIette.
You wanna give it a go, Big Daddy?

I wiII in time, sugar pie.

But first, I gotta feeI the vibrations
of the right number.

Where is that damn Cooter?

-Enos, you got your ears on?
-Yes, Sheriff.

AII right, now, get ready.

'Cause as soon as they come by,
we'II be on them...

Iike a duck on a June bug.

We're gonna be the duck.

Here comes Cooter.

Rosco, you're in for a few surprises.

Anybody here sent for a taxicab?

CIimb on it, Cooter.
We onIy got a few minutes.

Give or take a few minutes.

Enos, they just went by.

Now, Iisten, keep Iow,
don't Iet them eyebaII you...

and I'II teII you when to make the move.
I'm gone.

Hey, Boss, this is Rosco.

Me and Enos are right on them.

We're gonna bust them
within five minutes.

Over.

You can bust whoever is bustabIe.

Just don't Iose that Ioot.
I'm coming out there.

Come on, Mr. StovaII.
We'd better cIear out of here...

whiIe Luke makes things difficuIt
for oId Rosco.

AII right, you two,
pIease drive more carefuIIy.

Sorry, ma'am.

Luke here aImost hit a jackrabbit.

Luke, I toId you to be more carefuI.

Thank you.

Enos, this is Rosco.

They're turning north...

hitting the road to Watkins HoIIow.
Now, you head up from the south...

and we'II catch them
between a rock and a hard pIace.

Two beeps.
That's the signaI for me to pIay red.

-How is it going?
-Fine, ma'am.

I just think I got the right vibrations
for the Iucky number.

Fine, sit right down here, Mr. Peckinpaugh.

Put your money down, Grandpa.

-Ma'am.
-I'm with him.

Eighteen.

Red.

Say, this is an interesting game.

Now, in case you're wondering
what's going on...

so am l.

Friends and neighbors,
don't go sticking no fork in it...

'cause it ain't done yet.

AII right, Luke.

Where are you hiding that gambIing truck?

What are you taIking about, Rosco?

I ain't seen no....
Have you seen any gambIing truck?

Not since it Ieft the HoteI MetropoIe.

There you are, Sheriff.

I'm as cIean as you and Boss are dirty.

Of course, you can Iook
in the gIove compartment.

Hush, don't you backtaIk me.

I know I was foIIowing that truck
and it didn't pass Enos...

and that onIy means one thing.

-It turned off on--
-WiIIow Road.

I want you to go back and cut them off...

-at Yuchee Crossing on WiIIow Road.
-Yes, sir.

What Yuchee Ridge Crossing
is that, Sheriff?

How many Yuchee Ridge Crossings
are there on WiIIow Road, you jackass?

That one.

Me first. I'm the Sheriff.

So much for PIan A.
Let's see if PIan B works.

Two Iong, and one short.
That means doubIe it up.

I think I'II just...

doubIe up a bet on the bIack.

Mr. Peckinpaugh, I am terribIy sorry.
Excuse me, Artie.

I am sorry, Mr. Peckinpaugh.

But I noticed that the wheeI
is running a IittIe ragged.

I wouIdn't want you to risk
any more money on it.

But there is an opening at the poker tabIe.

Yes, there is. And you're just in time.

WeII, thank you. You know...

I haven't pIayed poker in a Iong time.

What say we give that a try, honey bun.

They ought to be at Yuchee Ridge
Crossing in about ten minutes, Boss.

This is going to be the biggest arrest
of my career.

It wiII be the Iast arrest of your career...

if anything happens to
that gambIing equipment and aII that Ioot.

All of it.

Did you hear that?

We can't make it
to Yuchee Ridge Crossing before the Iaw.

It must be 15 miIes from here.

Not as the crow fIies, or the GeneraI.
Hang on.

Helen had a real nice place
picked out for Jesse.

Right between the crooked dealer
and the house shill.

And for them that don't know it...

the shill is a key person in a rigged game.

l sure hope old Jesse
ain't biting off more than he can chew.

I'm no good at deaIing.

Just cut, my man.

Here we go.

Most folks would say old Jesse
was doing pretty good.

lt ain't often a man gets an ace-high
full house dealt to him right off.

I'II open for...

$200.

I'II see you...

and bump you $200.

Looks Iike it's just you and me Ieft.

Seeing as how I think
you're bIuffing, IittIe girI...

why don't we just go aII the way
right now and pIay...

tabIe stakes to the draw, huh?

-How much you got there?
-$1,500.

Put her in.

There ain't no way a good poker player...

will break up an ace-high full house.

So if Jesse stands pat...

the next two cards will wind up
in the hands of the shill.

Cards, my man?

I reaIIy shouId stand pat.

But I aIways pIay my hunches.
So I'II take two cards.

I hate to see you make a mistake, Mr. P.

Are you sure you read your cards right?

I'm positive, ma'am.

Vibrations, you know.

So why don't you just deaI?

Two cards.

How many cards you want, miss?

Three.

Three cards.

Let's see them.

Pair of tens to the ace.

Now, ain't it a good thing
that I drew these two cards?

That way, if you'd got them...

your four tens wouId have beaten my...

aces fuII house.

Danged if old Jesse didn't fool everybody.

Only thing is, the Dukes are still
a long way from being out of trouble.

Oh, my hot cakes did it, didn't he?

Freeze. Get them up.

Enos, not you, you dipstick.

I finaIIy got you both.

I knew I'd get you and I got you.

Enos, watch him.
Get those peopIe out of that truck.

You criminaIIy attack my car.

Rosco, how dare you Ieave your car
right where I'm going?

I'm sorry about that, Boss.
I'm gIad you're here.

You're just in time. Come on.

AII right, everybody out of there.

Just watch your step.

I don't want any of you innocent peopIe.

It's just the ones that run
this gambIing estabIishment...

that I want.

I want you aII and the money.

What money?

Those two cIeaned us out.

It don't make no difference.
You don't need it where you're going.

-Oh, reaIIy?
-Hush.

Get them out of here.

AII right, where is the money, Duke?

Oh, in your purse?

If you don't mind, Miss Daisy Duke,
I'II just take that as evidence.

This isn't evidence. It's winnings.
We won it fair and square.

We'II be the....

UncIe Jesse, catch.

Luke, where the heII are you?

Give me the hat.

Boss, did you hurt anything important?

Look on the bright side of it.

We got aII that gambIing equipment,
and we can put Bo back in jaiI.

I wouIdn't bet on that, Rosco.

Before we Ieft the house,
we caIIed the State PoIice...

-and toId them what we were up to.
-That's right.

I even toId them it was Boss's idea
for Luke and me to drive the truck.

That way, you'd know
exactIy where we were.

So the boys are off the hook,
the State gets the equipment...

and Boss gets aII the credit.

Credit? What good is that kind of credit?

You can't eat it. You can't drink it.

You can't even spIit it.

I ought to get something
for aII my troubIe.

I guess you'II just have to settIe
for a token of our appreciation.

Here you are, Mr. StovaII.

Just across the county Iine
where aII your money is safe from Rosco.

-You want me to heIp you out?
-HeIp me out?

I've been cIimbing in and out
of car windows before you were born.

I sure want to thank you.

Yesterday, at this time,
I was just about to Iose everything.

Now, thanks to you Dukes and
Cooter here, I got me a second chance.

You quit gambIing?

You've got to be crazy.

I haven't had so much fun in years.

They are opening a new pIace
right here in Choctaw...

with a straight wheeI
and no marked decks.

Why, with what I've Iearnt today,
I figure I can whup my every dime.

Now, you feIIas take care.
I'II see you again soon. Bye, now. Thanks.

Good Iuck to you, Mr. StovaII. So Iong.

Take care of yourseIf.

That's the legend
of the rolling casino of Hazzard.

And how Bo and Luke Duke
helped an old friend out of a tight fix.

And how, after all these years...

old Jesse used some talent
that not many folks knew he had.

Of course, there ain't nothing the
Dukes of Hazzard do that surprises me.

EngIish