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1
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:16,933
Hold all my calls.
2
00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:26,025
♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪
3
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:27,318
♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪
4
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:29,112
♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪
5
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:31,322
Girls, it's time.
6
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:32,449
Dad, no.
7
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:36,870
I have to keep feeding the Christmas Panda
or the Panda will die.
8
00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:41,541
[gasps] His death is on your conscience.
I hope bedtime was worth it.
9
00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:43,376
Who said bedtime?
10
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:47,547
It's time for the grand finale
of Templeton Christmas Traditions.
11
00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:51,259
Dad tells a holiday-themed story
until you fall asleep. Whoo!
12
00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:54,095
Do we have to?
I'm in the middle of something.
13
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,890
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas-- Hey.
14
00:00:57,432 --> 00:01:01,478
Why do we have to do something
just because it's a tradition?
15
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:05,273
I know someone
who felt the same way you did.
16
00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:07,901
Who? Do I know them? Do they have a beard?
17
00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:10,028
Or a curse that makes them sing?
18
00:01:10,111 --> 00:01:12,363
It was actually your Uncle Ted.
19
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:13,990
And once upon a time...
20
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:16,201
Sneaky story intro.
21
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:19,954
When he was a baby,
he hated our Christmas traditions,
22
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:23,792
even though they were
the most awesome traditions ever.
23
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:26,294
Five days before Christmas, we played...
24
00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,880
[all] Shock That Elf.
25
00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:31,508
-It's your dad's year to be the elf.
-All right.
26
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:34,803
But me and my elf buddy here
are pretty hard to--
27
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:36,221
-Merry Christmas.
-[shouts]
28
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:44,646
[adult Tim] Four days before Christmas,
we'd make cards for our grandparents.
29
00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:46,147
A Christmas tree.
30
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:48,191
A reindeer.
31
00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:52,695
The baby made Santa's sleigh.
32
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:56,699
[adult Tim] Three days before Christmas,
we'd sing the most soulful
33
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,576
bass-and-glockenspiel rendition
34
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:01,121
of "The Night Before Christmas"
you've ever heard.
35
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:04,707
♪ 'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house ♪
36
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:09,129
♪ Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse ♪
37
00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:13,633
[adult Tim] Two days before
Uncle Ted's first Christmas,
38
00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:15,718
that's when the magic started.
39
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,303
Work with me, baby.
40
00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:20,723
Aw, there. Our handsome little elf.
41
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,600
Ooh! I'm gonna grab the camera.
42
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:28,356
I thought Christmas was a day,
not a month.
43
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:31,151
You can't contain
Templeton traditions to one day.
44
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:34,028
That's like trying to hold eight ants.
Too many ants.
45
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:37,699
You performed "The Night Before Christmas"
three days before.
46
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:41,077
Performing it on the actual night
before Christmas is bad luck.
47
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:45,540
Uh, you put a gingerbread fellow
in my pocket?
48
00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:47,500
Because it is good luck.
49
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,627
And yet I'm still here,
50
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,337
wearing this.
51
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,047
Where's yours?
52
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:56,926
Not participating in today's
"dress like a court jester" tradition?
53
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,304
That's not today's tradition. We--
54
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:03,600
Who's ready
to get their pictures taken with Santa?
55
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:04,809
[crying]
56
00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:11,733
I'll be right there
with you the whole time.
57
00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:14,944
We sit on his lap, tell him what we want.
58
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:19,365
It's the easiest and best tradition.
You don't have to freak out.
59
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:21,200
Danny?
60
00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,828
Tim, check this out.
61
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:24,871
A snowball?
62
00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:27,415
I'm gonna throw it in Santa's face.
63
00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:30,001
What? You'll get on the naughty list.
64
00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:32,462
Oh, I'm always on the naughty list.
65
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:36,174
I don't give old Kringle the power
to suppress my animal instincts.
66
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:38,426
But only good kids get presents.
67
00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:39,844
Do only they?
68
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:42,931
Naughty-listers
get the greatest present of all, coal.
69
00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:45,516
The black rock with a million uses.
70
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,603
Heat, decoration, other. It's a win-win.
71
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:52,523
Want me to split this in two?
We can totally flank Santa.
72
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:55,360
No, I work hard to stay on the nice list.
73
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:58,071
Who do you think gave them quarters
for massages?
74
00:03:58,321 --> 00:03:59,864
[both groaning]
75
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:03,534
Suit yourself.
76
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:05,286
[grunting]
77
00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,997
We should probably get up.
78
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:11,125
I've been trying to.
79
00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:14,879
Come on up.
80
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:16,214
[Boss Baby grunting]
81
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,386
Timothy Templeton. Four T's in it.
82
00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:24,430
This is Theodore.
Same last name, one less T.
83
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:25,807
Boss Baby.
84
00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:27,392
Ron.
85
00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:29,727
Um, what is happening?
86
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:32,814
We used to work together, a long time ago.
87
00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:34,565
Wait, Santa is--
88
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:35,900
Former Baby Corp.
89
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:39,153
As disloyal as a cat
with trade secrets to sell.
90
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,905
Oh, Boss Baby.
91
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,533
I'm just trying
to spread joy and happiness.
92
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,536
Blah, blah, blah.
I heard it all the day you quit.
93
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,997
When will Mommy and Daddy take a picture?
94
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:53,543
-Honey, take a picture.
-I'm trying, I'm just so relaxed.
95
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:56,337
I left Baby Corp because I had this idea
96
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:59,632
of how to make the world a happier place
with Christmas cheer.
97
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:00,842
Think it's working?
98
00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:02,135
You're doing fine.
99
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,137
Don't side with this hippie.
100
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:07,098
He betrayed everything
Baby Corp stands for.
101
00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:10,310
He poached half the company
for his toys-for-nothing program.
102
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:13,688
And he's exploiting baby labor
to make those toys.
103
00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:15,690
Elves. Elves make the toys.
104
00:05:15,773 --> 00:05:18,109
Oh, come on. That's just marketing.
105
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,446
Whoa, they are babies?
106
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,781
-Okay, say cheese.
-Cheese.
107
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,450
Smile for your parents.
108
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:28,870
I will never be caught smiling
with a commie like--
109
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:30,830
Gotcha.
110
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:32,582
Ho, ho, ho!
111
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:35,460
-[grunting]
-I'm on the nice list, right?
112
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:37,170
Tippy top.
113
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:40,965
Yes. For Christmas, I want
Football Mike Canadian Football Edition
114
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,967
with the locker room Jacuzzi playset.
115
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:46,220
You write that request
in official letter form?
116
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:48,097
Now he loves paperwork.
117
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,265
You know it.
118
00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:53,061
Drop it off with my elves,
and have a Merry Christmas.
119
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:55,271
Thanks, Santa. You too, bye.
120
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:02,111
I see you, Danny Petrosky.
121
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,447
Naughty list life forever.
122
00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:08,993
See? Wasn't that fun, little guy?
123
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:13,289
Look, Cracklin' Bones O'Dell
and the Caroling Cracklettes.
124
00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:15,166
[Santa] Ho, ho, ho!
125
00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:17,627
Put me down. I have a score to settle.
126
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:20,421
You won't do anything
to get me on the naughty list?
127
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,632
I'm not a monster, Templeton.
128
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,593
Santa Claus is.
129
00:06:26,844 --> 00:06:29,680
So, Ron, you like getting mail?
130
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,432
[grunting]
131
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,893
Well, here's a special delivery.
132
00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:35,603
[suspenseful music playing]
133
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,316
-Huh?
-[shouts]
134
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,578
["Joy to the World" playing]
135
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:07,301
Not like you to be sleeping on the job
on Christmas Eve, Dongle.
136
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:09,887
It's Christmas Eve? Where am--? Oh!
137
00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:14,016
You still owe me 300 hollyberries,
Dongle. Pay up.
138
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,436
Why are you calling me--? Where--?
139
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:17,353
Oh, no.
140
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,564
Don't play dumb, Dongle.
141
00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:22,150
I want my money before Boxing Day. Get it?
142
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,734
Do get it. Not Dongle.
143
00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:27,822
Dongle! I'm so jolly to see you.
144
00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:29,157
Not Dongle.
145
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,076
What's up with your voice, Dongle?
Are you sick?
146
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:35,079
I'm not Dongle.
147
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,664
Everybody, come quick.
148
00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:37,707
Dongle's sick.
149
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:39,375
[all gasping]
150
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,419
Dongle.
151
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:43,504
Can you see? Look at me.
152
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,089
I'm not Dongle!
153
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:47,967
[Tim] It's Christmas Eve.
154
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:52,013
-You'll love it.
-Santa, Dongle is sorry for sleep--
155
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:57,226
-Huh?
-[screaming]
156
00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:01,522
-What did you do with my brother?
-What did you do with Santa?
157
00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,149
Oh, no. Are you...?
158
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:06,861
Dongle's name is Ding Dong Dongle.
159
00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:08,946
Yeah, but you're an elf?
160
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,449
Superior toymaker of the North Pole.
161
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:14,327
When Dongle makes a toy,
so many jaws drop to the floor
162
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:17,246
that the jaw doctor can buy a new mansion.
163
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:20,041
You made a rocking horse from the crib?
164
00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:21,667
Is it perfect?
165
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:22,752
Then yes.
166
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:26,297
Wait, so if you're here,
then my brother is...
167
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:31,260
At the North Pole, of course.
Does Dongle look like he is from Texas?
168
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,804
Imagine cowboy hat Dongle.
169
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:35,431
Very handsome.
170
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,934
So he's with Santa? Aw.
171
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,852
We gotta get him back now.
172
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:43,689
It's his first Christmas.
We have more traditions he has to do.
173
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,775
Dongle needs to get back now.
174
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:48,694
Or the world will be bombarded
with inferior toys
175
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,863
that blacken children's hearts.
176
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:53,783
My brother works at Baby Corp, so all we--
177
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:57,495
Baby Corp.
Can't make toys to save their lives.
178
00:08:57,578 --> 00:08:59,622
Does that situation come up a lot?
179
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,667
Dongle could tell you stories.
180
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:04,293
Yes, please. But later.
181
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:07,463
Baby Corp is our only hope
to get out of this.
182
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,840
Jimbo, Staci, we have a situation.
183
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:12,468
T-W-A-F-E-R.
184
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,386
TWAFER.
185
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:14,720
[slurping]
186
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,807
"Tommy wants a fire engine, red."
187
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:20,142
-TWAFER. TWAFER.
-[door opens]
188
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,477
Not now, Dongle.
189
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,896
I'm not Dongle, Ron.
190
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:27,066
Boss Baby?
What the jingles are you doing here?
191
00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:30,444
The question is,
how the jingles do I get out of here?
192
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:34,699
Oh. I'd love to help,
but I'm memorizing letters.
193
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:40,079
If I don't get their requests locked down,
it'll take me weeks to deliver gifts.
194
00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:42,373
Speaking of jingles, "jingle."
195
00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:47,795
"Judy is now getting lavender earmuffs."
J-I-N-G-L-E. JINGLE.
196
00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:51,465
You're an embarrassment to efficiency.
Get a computer.
197
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:54,510
The elves and I
are like a family business.
198
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,804
They make the toys, I do this.
199
00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:59,265
These are our family traditions,
200
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:02,602
and they've made everyone happy
for a long time.
201
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:06,355
Yay for your family.
Take me home to mine, Big Beard.
202
00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:11,068
I'm busy. I'll take you tonight
when I deliver presents.
203
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:13,112
What do I do in the meantime?
204
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,114
Help make a few toys,
205
00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:18,117
and maybe learn
about the Christmas spirit.
206
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:20,745
[groaning]
207
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:25,666
-Any word on rescuing my brother?
-Sorry, ran into a snag.
208
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,794
Typical Baby Corp incompetence.
209
00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:33,299
Typical Dongle excellence.
210
00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:36,177
I won that trophy
for excellence in trophy modeling.
211
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:39,555
Stop making stuff out of stuff.
What's the snag?
212
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:43,309
Chupie tech is jammed at the North Pole.
Stupid Santa Claus.
213
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,853
Watch your mouth, Baby Corp mongrel.
214
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,189
[all growling]
215
00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:52,818
It's less than 24 hours
until my brother's first Christmas.
216
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:56,447
If we can't chupie there,
we have to find another way.
217
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:59,116
Mom and Dad will be worried sick.
218
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,620
You relax.
Dongle will take care of everything.
219
00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:07,041
This one's from Aunt Dorothy.
"Merry Christmas from Aunt Dorothy."
220
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:09,210
Oh, that's nice.
221
00:11:09,293 --> 00:11:10,336
Is that a grenade?
222
00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:13,839
Don't be foolish.
Dongle doesn't explode parents.
223
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:16,300
Dongle kills with poison gas.
224
00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:17,218
What?
225
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:20,012
[Mom] Do you smell?
226
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:21,972
[both snoring]
227
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:25,142
Dongle told a sick joke.
228
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:29,939
This is Santa's sleeping dust
for when the children stay up to see him.
229
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:31,190
What the heck?
230
00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:34,318
Drama is the spice of life.
231
00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:38,656
Should give us time
to get to the North Pole and back.
232
00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:40,157
But with them asleep,
233
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:44,453
I have to do the shopping
for our traditional fruitcake hockey.
234
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:48,040
Which we play while wearing Hawaiian leis
made from snacks. So fun.
235
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,709
Point is, we need to move fast.
236
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:54,588
No sweat.
Santa has magic portals in every mall.
237
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,966
They appear every night
after business hours,
238
00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:59,844
but only until 9 a.m.
the day before Christmas.
239
00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:01,262
We have 20 minutes.
240
00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:03,347
Why didn't you tell us before?
241
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:09,061
Were you not paying attention when Dongle
told you drama is the spice of life?
242
00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:17,736
[groans]
243
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:23,284
So this is where Christmas comes from?
244
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:24,201
You bet.
245
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:27,913
We got Jingly Jangly there
doing wrapping paper design.
246
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,249
Ribbon testing with Tippy Tappy Sloppy.
247
00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,501
Okay, okay, that one is good.
248
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:36,088
[PoopyDoopy] Lala Doo-Da and Diddly Doo
write all the best carols.
249
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:39,425
What kind of nog-house
open-mic garbage is that?
250
00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:43,012
You wouldn't know a hit
if it knocked your tooth out.
251
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:48,142
And of course, toy-making with me,
PoopyDoopy, filling in for Dongle.
252
00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:50,436
I admire your skill.
253
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:51,479
Why thank you.
254
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:55,441
But I can't help noticing
inefficiencies in your systems.
255
00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:56,358
What?
256
00:12:56,442 --> 00:13:00,863
I notice you make all your gingerbread
from the eggs of a single goose?
257
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:01,947
[squawks]
258
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:06,535
That's not just a goose.
She's Ginger the Gingergoose.
259
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:09,371
Sure. And dare I ask a follow-up?
260
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:13,209
Why have those elves been rubbing gumdrops
on the egg for two hours?
261
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:16,754
To make it the best gingerbread
in the whole world.
262
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,214
Dubious claim.
263
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:19,131
Try this.
264
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,175
Mm.
265
00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:24,386
This is really good. What's the secret?
266
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:29,141
It's made with store-bought chicken eggs
and was stuffed in my pocket.
267
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:32,520
[all] Delicious.
268
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:34,772
You guys get it now?
269
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,900
We need
to put our gingerbread in your pocket.
270
00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:40,361
No, my point is efficiency.
271
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:44,615
You can't mess up gingerbread.
Just crack eggs in some batter.
272
00:13:45,824 --> 00:13:48,869
Why does this goose
even have a job, right, Ginger?
273
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:52,164
-[squawks]
-What else needs fixing around here?
274
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:03,759
You're watching paint dry?
I thought you were on a deadline.
275
00:14:03,842 --> 00:14:08,514
-We take pride in our wrapping paper.
-Just to be torn open?
276
00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:09,974
You're wasting time.
277
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:13,018
But this is the way
we've always done things.
278
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,103
Not anymore.
279
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,563
Whee!
280
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:19,733
Boom, efficiency. Hit me with another one.
281
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:22,987
Carol writers, right?
282
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:24,446
Supposed to be.
283
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:28,409
But Diddly Doo overdid it
on the milk and cookies again.
284
00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:30,744
Well, excuse me, Mother.
285
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:32,997
You ever feel like working?
286
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,665
We'll work when I tell you.
287
00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,501
If I can make a suggestion-- Oh!
288
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,254
[both]
Don't mess with our creative process.
289
00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:42,631
You've got the talent of a wreath.
290
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:46,176
They're fine. What else you got?
291
00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:49,388
[yawning]
292
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,223
I'm not laughing. Toss it.
293
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,727
Spin me up on this nonsense.
294
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:58,022
Everyone knows,
ribbon is no good if it doesn't tickle me.
295
00:14:58,105 --> 00:14:59,648
I don't think that's true.
296
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:00,900
Oh, but it is.
297
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:01,859
No, it's not.
298
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:04,111
Pretty sure it is.
299
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:10,784
[all clamoring]
300
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:11,994
He's a genius.
301
00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:15,456
Could it be, everything
we've been doing has been wrong?
302
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,458
No telling, but yes.
303
00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:18,959
Please, walk with me.
304
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:23,255
[gasps] A walk-and-talk? You're getting
the hang of this efficiency thing.
305
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,340
You're telling me.
306
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:28,093
You've been here an hour,
and our productivity is up 20 percent.
307
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:31,889
We might actually get a nog break
before Santa leaves.
308
00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:35,643
Why settle for nog?
Imagine what else you could have.
309
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:38,771
Computers for
naughty/nice cross-reference.
310
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:41,982
Industrial ovens
for mass gingerbread baking.
311
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:44,777
Break rooms full of gumdrop delights.
312
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:47,738
And of course, mahogany crafters' lamps.
313
00:15:47,821 --> 00:15:50,324
Yes, to ward off snow monsters.
314
00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:52,368
Mahogany lamps ward off snow monsters?
315
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:53,410
Mahogany does.
316
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:56,580
Weird, I was just trying
to class up the joint.
317
00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:59,458
We should redo
this entire floor in mahogany.
318
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:02,419
Mahogany? No. Why?
319
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:03,712
[monster whimpering]
320
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:04,964
[all cheering]
321
00:16:05,839 --> 00:16:10,052
It'd help Christmas cheer
if no one was eaten by a snow monster.
322
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:13,597
These reforms will take
an upfront investment.
323
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:15,099
What's your cash on hand?
324
00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:17,935
Fifty trillion hollyberries.
325
00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:19,770
-In dollars?
-Seven.
326
00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:21,939
Okay, we need to raise revenue.
327
00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:24,316
What do you charge
to get on the nice list?
328
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,652
The only charge is
being the best you can--
329
00:16:26,735 --> 00:16:27,820
[Boss Baby] Honk, honk.
330
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:31,907
You sillies are practically
feeding cash to the reindeer.
331
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,284
But it's always been free.
332
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:38,122
And your boss always wears
a red suit to a home invasion.
333
00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:40,416
Tradition's a dumb reason to do anything.
334
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:44,253
You're running a business
that's stalled out below its potential.
335
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:45,754
It's killing my soul.
336
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,464
But good news?
337
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,008
You've got me.
338
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:51,218
The portal.
339
00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:53,303
What? Yes. Hurry up, let's go.
340
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:56,807
Unmade toys, Dongle is coming.
341
00:16:58,308 --> 00:17:00,060
No.
342
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,937
You had to stop at the snack cart?
343
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,647
I'm pulling double duty.
344
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:08,318
I have to rescue my brother
and keep my family traditions from dying.
345
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:12,698
Stop being so dramatic.
There has to be a simple solution.
346
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:15,868
Four plane tickets to the North Pole.
347
00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:18,912
Great. Does anyone have $11,000?
348
00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:20,873
I have 700 hollyberries.
349
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:22,708
I had to buy a winter hat.
350
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,587
I only have 10K five hunny.
351
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:27,796
So close.
352
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,339
[groaning]
353
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:33,135
Look, super speedy delivery.
354
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:37,723
"Santa letters and packages delivered
to the North Pole before midnight"?
355
00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:41,018
We follow
the next delivery truck to the airport,
356
00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:44,063
sneak on a jet
disguised as food-service workers.
357
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,356
When the crew asks, "Is that low-fat?"
358
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,275
I go, "No, it's high fist."
359
00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:50,527
Double thumpers into a roundhouse kick.
360
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:53,822
We've put two on the ground,
because I'm good at kicking.
361
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:57,534
But we can't control the cockpit
until we defeat six crooked co-pilots,
362
00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,162
each trained in a deadly martial art.
363
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:02,539
My plan was better.
364
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,958
Oh! Watch your elbows, Jimbo.
365
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,294
[Tim] Dongle, don't eat all my snacks.
366
00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:09,922
-[Dongle] Dongle is not eating anything.
-[chewing]
367
00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:12,508
I hear little Chloe
is on the naughty list...
368
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,927
What's it worth to you
to get Josie into nice?
369
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:17,805
Start Scooter on the $50 nice package...
370
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:20,849
Isn't everything more beautiful
when it's profitable?
371
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,768
This makes me feel yucky,
372
00:18:22,851 --> 00:18:25,896
like a sticky candy cane
that fell on a floor.
373
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:30,067
Remember, you're helping
to finance more efficient toy-making.
374
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:32,486
Things are looking up
for your compensation.
375
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:35,280
We're gonna get more Christmas cheer?
376
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:38,951
-You get paid in Christmas cheer?
-I wish.
377
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:40,702
We get paid in twinkly smiles,
378
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:43,622
which can be exchanged
for Christmas cheer.
379
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,707
You have to trade in at the Santa shop.
380
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,794
They're only open
for a half-hour on Thursdays.
381
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:52,923
Unless you send your smiles
by penguin messenger, which takes months.
382
00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:56,343
What kind of hustle
is Santa running on you?
383
00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:59,304
We love Santa.
We're like a family business.
384
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:03,100
Are you? I know Dasher
and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen.
385
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:07,062
All the reindeer do for 364 days a year
is eat grass and poop.
386
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,983
You elves do all the work,
and I couldn't name one of you.
387
00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:12,734
Except you, DookiePoops.
388
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:15,571
-PoopyDoopy.
-Forget how things have always been done.
389
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:18,448
What do you deserve right now?
390
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:21,702
I would like a little recognition.
391
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:22,619
[all] Yeah.
392
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:25,622
-Right.
-We should talk to Santa.
393
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:28,208
[man 1] Last delivery for the season.
394
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:32,296
[man 2] Put it there, right next
to the gigantic pile of letters.
395
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:34,214
-[man 1] Merry Chri--
-[door closes]
396
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:35,215
We're here.
397
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,967
Good. Dongle is hungry.
398
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:39,428
Even though Dongle did not eat the snacks.
399
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:40,846
[all groaning]
400
00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:45,017
Uh, you aren't letters to Santa.
I'm disappointed.
401
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:48,145
But I like feeling disappointed,
so mixed bag.
402
00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:50,981
Remove your funeral suit, sad vampire.
403
00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:52,858
Dongle is here.
404
00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:55,194
Is this the North Pole?
405
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:58,197
"North Pole." Yay, we're here.
406
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,116
[Tim] It says "Noth Pole."
You left out the R.
407
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:06,038
At least I didn't write it backwards.
We could've ended up in Elop Htron.
408
00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:08,081
This is the Noth Pole?
409
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:10,792
I'm the Noth Pole. That's my name.
410
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:16,506
I changed it so all the letters to Santa
with that misspelled word come to me.
411
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:17,674
It's thrilling.
412
00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:21,345
That's a weird thing to be excited about.
413
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:24,223
Why? This is a pile of hopes and dreams
414
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:27,226
I can sell to collectors
for a lot of money.
415
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:31,521
We need to get to the North Pole.
And quick. Is that possible?
416
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:34,024
It's a 30-minute chartered jet ride.
417
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:36,777
I can make anything happen.
418
00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:37,945
I'm Noth Pole.
419
00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:39,988
-Yay.
-[Noth] But I won't.
420
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:43,283
I don't really feel like it.
Don't touch my pile.
421
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:45,244
Dongle touched nothing.
422
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:50,499
These letters go for a fortune in Tokyo,
along with gum chewed by politicians,
423
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:53,377
industrial blueprints
from mobile home manufacturers...
424
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:56,255
What happens with
the kids who wrote the letters?
425
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:59,675
They just don't get
what they want for Christmas.
426
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,426
What? That's horrible.
427
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:05,347
No, I think you missed it. I get money.
428
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:07,557
Making money off of Christmas?
429
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:08,558
That's crazy.
430
00:21:17,734 --> 00:21:18,860
Thank you, boy.
431
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:22,364
Your shouted words
have inspired me to change--
432
00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:24,992
Yay, it's a Christmas miracle.
433
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:26,243
--my business model.
434
00:21:26,326 --> 00:21:29,288
When Santa doesn't deliver
and children weep,
435
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:32,541
parents will do anything
to get them their toys,
436
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:35,585
even buy them from me at a huge markup.
437
00:21:35,669 --> 00:21:38,005
Don't you use my ideas for evil.
438
00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:41,758
You turned my letters
into a nutcracker in ten seconds?
439
00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,094
-No.
-[Noth] No, him.
440
00:21:44,177 --> 00:21:45,887
Five seconds.
441
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:49,182
Ten is for lazy toymakers
who are not Dongle.
442
00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:51,518
I like his style.
443
00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:53,228
I've devised a deal.
444
00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,397
I'll charter that flight,
445
00:21:55,480 --> 00:22:00,068
but Dongle stays with me
to make 10,000 toys for profit.
446
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:02,112
No, we're not leaving Dongle.
447
00:22:02,195 --> 00:22:04,364
Go save your brother
with the handsome face
448
00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:06,283
that would look better in glasses.
449
00:22:06,366 --> 00:22:07,784
Dongle will catch up.
450
00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:09,619
-You sure?
-Merry Christmas.
451
00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:13,707
You press that button,
Dongle will get you out of any jam.
452
00:22:13,790 --> 00:22:17,753
Mostly toy-building jams.
That is where the button is of most use.
453
00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:20,797
-Thank you, Dongle.
-Okay, this hug is done.
454
00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:22,341
I'm going to the North Pole.
455
00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:25,761
How do you handle the excitement
of being at the real North Pole?
456
00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:26,970
You don't.
457
00:22:32,225 --> 00:22:34,603
It looks like Baby Corp.
458
00:22:34,686 --> 00:22:36,813
[Jimbo] But Christmas-ier.
459
00:22:36,897 --> 00:22:38,440
Let's go over the plan.
460
00:22:38,523 --> 00:22:39,816
Me and Tim look for Boss.
461
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:44,279
I'll find what they're using to jam
our chupie transport tech, and smash it.
462
00:22:44,362 --> 00:22:45,405
Got that, Tim?
463
00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:49,034
I'm at the North Pole.
464
00:22:49,117 --> 00:22:50,577
Can you keep it together?
465
00:22:50,660 --> 00:22:51,578
No.
466
00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:54,998
I'm actually in Santa Town. I'm gonna...
467
00:22:55,415 --> 00:22:57,793
Um, hello?
468
00:22:57,876 --> 00:22:59,169
Anyone home?
469
00:22:59,252 --> 00:23:01,004
Anyone making toys?
470
00:23:01,088 --> 00:23:02,214
Anyone Santa?
471
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,050
It's gingerbread.
472
00:23:05,133 --> 00:23:08,512
Jimbo. Don't eat the toy factory--
473
00:23:08,595 --> 00:23:11,723
Dang, break me off some of that wall.
474
00:23:11,807 --> 00:23:15,435
Stop chewing.
I hear actual North Pole Christmas Cheer.
475
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:18,522
Then Santa said,
"Thanks, Tippy Tappy Slappy."
476
00:23:18,605 --> 00:23:22,400
But I'm not Tippy Tappy Slappy.
I'm Tippy Tappy Sloppy.
477
00:23:22,984 --> 00:23:24,277
[all shouting]
478
00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:27,280
Ugh. Breaks my heart.
479
00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:31,451
Who's got another complaint
about Santa's mismanagement?
480
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,121
There's the boss. Hi.
481
00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:38,083
We should have suggestion boxes,
but we don't.
482
00:23:38,166 --> 00:23:40,377
So how do we suggest we get one?
483
00:23:41,044 --> 00:23:42,129
What did you do?
484
00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:43,672
Uh, good to see you too.
485
00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:47,717
Where's the fun and jolly toy making?
This is Santa's factory.
486
00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:52,055
Really? It's Santa who clocks in?
Santa who carves the horsies?
487
00:23:52,139 --> 00:23:54,891
Santa spring-loading jack-in-the-boxes?
488
00:23:54,975 --> 00:23:56,518
You're messing with Christmas.
489
00:23:56,601 --> 00:23:58,812
It's a mess. I'm cleaning it up.
490
00:23:58,895 --> 00:24:02,065
Christmas is perfect.
Everyone loves Santa and his elves.
491
00:24:02,149 --> 00:24:03,441
[PoopyDoopy clearing throat]
492
00:24:03,984 --> 00:24:05,193
Sorry to interrupt.
493
00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:09,573
We're trying to recall Santa's nicknames,
but couldn't remember.
494
00:24:09,656 --> 00:24:10,740
Can you help us?
495
00:24:10,824 --> 00:24:15,245
Sure, Santa, Santa Clause, St. Nick,
Kriss Kringle, Father Christmas--
496
00:24:15,328 --> 00:24:16,246
Cool, cool.
497
00:24:16,329 --> 00:24:18,623
-Now name an elf.
-What?
498
00:24:18,707 --> 00:24:22,085
You said,
everyone loves Santa and his elves.
499
00:24:22,169 --> 00:24:25,255
You know every single one
of Santa's nicknames.
500
00:24:25,338 --> 00:24:28,091
Surely you know just one of our names.
501
00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:30,051
Uh...
502
00:24:31,094 --> 00:24:32,053
Blitzen?
503
00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:34,306
Blitzen? Blitzen?
504
00:24:34,389 --> 00:24:37,934
Kid's confusing us with
those antlered stink horses?
505
00:24:38,685 --> 00:24:40,020
You done did it now.
506
00:24:41,354 --> 00:24:44,608
[PoopyDoopy] I'm done being a cog
in the Christmas wheel.
507
00:24:44,691 --> 00:24:47,319
A wheel we probably made.
508
00:24:47,402 --> 00:24:50,655
[shouts] Santa's factory? Ha!
509
00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:52,532
This is our factory.
510
00:24:52,616 --> 00:24:54,534
[elves] Yeah!
511
00:24:55,368 --> 00:24:56,870
[elves shouting]
512
00:25:10,258 --> 00:25:11,551
Santa?
513
00:25:12,636 --> 00:25:15,597
How long have you been--
What did you hear?
514
00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:17,515
Enough.
515
00:25:18,266 --> 00:25:20,977
All I wanted was to make everyone happy.
516
00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:23,021
Well, you sure blew that.
517
00:25:24,397 --> 00:25:25,482
Yeah.
518
00:25:25,565 --> 00:25:26,524
[elves shouting]
519
00:25:29,110 --> 00:25:30,946
[elf] We should get better than this.
520
00:25:31,029 --> 00:25:31,988
You're right.
521
00:25:32,739 --> 00:25:34,824
I hope I can do better next year.
522
00:25:37,911 --> 00:25:40,705
-[elves gasping]
-[PoopyDoopy] Not the naughty list.
523
00:25:41,915 --> 00:25:45,335
Santa.
524
00:25:45,418 --> 00:25:47,254
There he is. On his sleigh.
525
00:25:47,837 --> 00:25:49,798
-I can't believe it.
-I know.
526
00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:53,385
He teleported to a sleigh that
would take two minutes to walk to.
527
00:25:53,468 --> 00:25:55,053
Explains the, uh... [grunts]
528
00:25:55,136 --> 00:25:57,222
No, I can't believe he's gone.
529
00:25:57,305 --> 00:25:59,933
Santa can't go on the naughty list.
He's Santa.
530
00:26:00,016 --> 00:26:02,560
Why does it feel like
a man cave on Mother's Day?
531
00:26:02,644 --> 00:26:04,729
A re-org like this usually takes weeks.
532
00:26:04,813 --> 00:26:06,314
We should be celebrating.
533
00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:07,607
[scatting]
534
00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:10,527
Yeah, get it.
535
00:26:11,278 --> 00:26:12,362
[squawking]
536
00:26:20,495 --> 00:26:22,289
We had a misunderstanding.
537
00:26:22,956 --> 00:26:25,292
Got the chupies working. Let's jet.
538
00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:28,628
Look at that.
Still time to play fruitcake lacrosse.
539
00:26:28,712 --> 00:26:32,090
-Hockey.
-One of those boarding school sports.
540
00:26:32,173 --> 00:26:34,509
What about Santa?
What happens with Christmas?
541
00:26:34,592 --> 00:26:36,970
These elves got it covered.
542
00:26:37,053 --> 00:26:39,472
Uh... Not really.
543
00:26:39,556 --> 00:26:42,309
This was about recognition
for making toys.
544
00:26:42,392 --> 00:26:46,604
Delivering them is Santa's thing.
Because, you know, the sleigh.
545
00:26:46,688 --> 00:26:50,400
This isn't a Santa problem.
It's a logistics problem.
546
00:26:50,483 --> 00:26:52,027
Call in the paper pushers.
547
00:26:52,110 --> 00:26:54,487
Simmons, Hendershot. On my location.
548
00:26:54,571 --> 00:26:58,783
Is this the secret Christmas Party?
Bring on the nog.
549
00:26:58,867 --> 00:27:02,370
-[both chanting] Nog, nog, nog--
-I got something better than nog.
550
00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:06,207
We're gonna solve
Christmas toy delivery logistics.
551
00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:09,169
[groans] Yay.
552
00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:14,132
One fire dog, coming up.
553
00:27:16,092 --> 00:27:17,260
This stump taken?
554
00:27:17,844 --> 00:27:19,679
Santa? Why are you--?
555
00:27:20,263 --> 00:27:21,890
Is this about the naughty list?
556
00:27:21,973 --> 00:27:25,018
That snowball to the kisser
should've sealed the deal.
557
00:27:26,686 --> 00:27:27,854
[grunts]
558
00:27:29,689 --> 00:27:33,109
No one is questioning
your naughtiness, or mine.
559
00:27:33,193 --> 00:27:36,613
Whoa, you finally made the jump?
560
00:27:36,696 --> 00:27:39,157
Danny, you've been on my naughty list
561
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,576
since you were old enough
to pass gas at will.
562
00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:44,079
[farting]
563
00:27:44,162 --> 00:27:45,121
Continue.
564
00:27:45,205 --> 00:27:47,999
I joined the list 20 minutes ago,
and I feel like crud.
565
00:27:48,083 --> 00:27:51,795
But here you are, happy as a clam,
roasting hot dogs on a fire--
566
00:27:51,878 --> 00:27:54,339
Is that last year's bundle of coal?
567
00:27:56,299 --> 00:27:57,592
Doesn't that taste like--
568
00:27:57,675 --> 00:27:58,676
West Virginia?
569
00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:01,012
Oh, yeah.
570
00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:05,517
So how do we live with ourselves
when we've been so naughty?
571
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,812
Papa Noel, I'm glad you asked.
572
00:28:13,108 --> 00:28:16,194
First get rid of this idea
that naughtiness is bad.
573
00:28:16,277 --> 00:28:19,614
Naughty living is very healthy
and very normal.
574
00:28:20,532 --> 00:28:21,741
What? You just...
575
00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:24,452
Got my veggies in the naughtiest way.
576
00:28:25,328 --> 00:28:28,540
Nice needs naughtiness
like night needs day
577
00:28:28,623 --> 00:28:31,459
and turtles need shells
to hide their eyes during scary movies.
578
00:28:32,168 --> 00:28:35,380
Give a naughty man a hotdog,
he'll have a hotdog.
579
00:28:36,464 --> 00:28:41,344
But teach a naughty man to hotdog,
and he'll have a ton of hotdogs.
580
00:28:42,262 --> 00:28:43,179
[man] My ear lobe.
581
00:28:43,263 --> 00:28:45,807
Don't forget, every Christmas morning,
582
00:28:45,890 --> 00:28:49,602
naughty kids wake up to coal,
which is dead dinosaurs.
583
00:28:49,686 --> 00:28:52,772
So while nice kids play with toys...
584
00:28:52,856 --> 00:28:53,857
[tires screeching]
585
00:28:53,940 --> 00:28:56,526
...we're playing with dead dinosaurs.
586
00:28:56,609 --> 00:28:58,695
And that's rad.
587
00:29:01,448 --> 00:29:03,825
[Tippy Tappy Sloppy] Approaching target.
Open flaps.
588
00:29:03,908 --> 00:29:05,368
Opening flaps.
589
00:29:05,452 --> 00:29:06,661
And release.
590
00:29:07,162 --> 00:29:08,538
[squawks]
591
00:29:11,458 --> 00:29:12,917
[all cheering]
592
00:29:15,628 --> 00:29:16,629
Yes, Templeton?
593
00:29:16,713 --> 00:29:20,008
What makes you think
you can do Christmas without Santa?
594
00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:21,926
Uh, the fact that we are.
595
00:29:22,010 --> 00:29:23,845
Let's get industrial fans,
596
00:29:23,928 --> 00:29:26,723
make sure she can handle monsoons
in the South Pacific.
597
00:29:26,806 --> 00:29:27,640
[squawks]
598
00:29:27,724 --> 00:29:30,685
This isn't the same.
You need magic and wonder.
599
00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:33,563
Or Christmas is just
a bonus birthday with a tree.
600
00:29:33,646 --> 00:29:36,107
Yes, but you will get a lot of toys.
601
00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:37,025
-Toys.
-Toys.
602
00:29:37,108 --> 00:29:37,942
-Toys.
-Toys.
603
00:29:38,026 --> 00:29:40,069
There's more to Christmas than toys.
604
00:29:40,153 --> 00:29:44,032
It's how awesome it is
to see boot marks on snowy roofs.
605
00:29:44,115 --> 00:29:46,242
-See if we can fake boot marks.
-On it.
606
00:29:46,326 --> 00:29:50,205
It's seeing Santa's cookies gone,
except a half-eaten one.
607
00:29:50,288 --> 00:29:53,500
Kids pick it up like,
"Santa's teeth touched this."
608
00:29:53,583 --> 00:29:58,254
You're holding on to Christmas past.
This is Christmas future.
609
00:29:58,338 --> 00:30:00,215
Satisfaction guaranteed.
610
00:30:01,216 --> 00:30:02,258
[squawking]
611
00:30:03,468 --> 00:30:04,719
All sales final.
612
00:30:06,012 --> 00:30:08,097
Ha. Silly Gingergoose.
613
00:30:08,181 --> 00:30:10,475
Hello, animal that is not a dog.
614
00:30:10,558 --> 00:30:12,560
Dongle, where have you been?
615
00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:15,355
The usual.
Living the most incredible life.
616
00:30:15,438 --> 00:30:16,397
Who's your friend?
617
00:30:16,481 --> 00:30:18,024
My chisel is my friend.
618
00:30:18,107 --> 00:30:20,235
My sander is my confidant.
619
00:30:20,318 --> 00:30:23,071
This one gave me a ride.
We are not friends.
620
00:30:23,154 --> 00:30:26,366
We're also not enemies.
We're next to each other.
621
00:30:26,449 --> 00:30:30,078
-Any more questions?
-Yeah, where are my hollyberries?
622
00:30:30,161 --> 00:30:33,498
No more questions from you.
But one from Dongle.
623
00:30:33,581 --> 00:30:35,500
Where is the big man?
624
00:30:35,583 --> 00:30:36,876
Uh...
625
00:30:39,337 --> 00:30:41,005
This is all wrong.
626
00:30:41,089 --> 00:30:44,968
Your fellow elves
fighting for recognition is wrong?
627
00:30:45,051 --> 00:30:48,346
No, if anyone loves recognition,
it's Dongle.
628
00:30:49,764 --> 00:30:51,224
You are Dongle.
629
00:30:51,307 --> 00:30:52,976
I recognize you.
630
00:30:53,059 --> 00:30:56,187
Santa does more
than bring toys Dongle makes.
631
00:30:56,271 --> 00:30:59,649
He brings people together,
makes people feel good.
632
00:30:59,732 --> 00:31:00,817
Told you.
633
00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:04,487
The world is changing.
It's time Christmas catches up.
634
00:31:04,571 --> 00:31:06,114
How you sleep at night?
635
00:31:06,197 --> 00:31:07,574
Guilt won't work on me.
636
00:31:07,657 --> 00:31:10,159
Does Dongle look like
a disappointed grandmother?
637
00:31:10,243 --> 00:31:12,745
Simple question. How you go to sleep?
638
00:31:12,829 --> 00:31:15,290
Like every hardworking baby American.
639
00:31:15,373 --> 00:31:18,001
Tucked into a firm swaddle
with a belly full of milk
640
00:31:18,084 --> 00:31:20,461
and a night-night kiss
from Mommy and/or Daddy.
641
00:31:20,545 --> 00:31:23,339
Night-night kiss is unnecessary, no?
642
00:31:23,423 --> 00:31:27,552
You are tired, full, swaddled.
You fall asleep no matter what.
643
00:31:27,635 --> 00:31:30,555
I don't need the kiss, but I like--
644
00:31:30,638 --> 00:31:32,265
Oh, you led me right into that.
645
00:31:32,348 --> 00:31:37,437
Christmas without Santa
is like bedtime without night-night kiss.
646
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:39,105
No one wants that.
647
00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:44,861
Fine, you're all big elves.
You want Santa back? Go get him.
648
00:31:44,944 --> 00:31:46,529
No, you go.
649
00:31:46,613 --> 00:31:48,531
No chance. Why me?
650
00:31:48,615 --> 00:31:53,870
Because from what you tell Dongle,
the Christmas man, he left in bad shape.
651
00:31:53,953 --> 00:31:59,083
Hollow on the inside,
like a grocery store chocolate nutcracker.
652
00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:02,378
He asks himself, "Who am I anymore?"
653
00:32:02,462 --> 00:32:05,715
Yee-haw, ho, ho.
654
00:32:06,633 --> 00:32:10,219
[Dongle]
You break a Santa, you got to fix a Santa.
655
00:32:11,846 --> 00:32:14,599
-When you break a Santa this bad,
-[snoring]
656
00:32:15,058 --> 00:32:18,436
only one thing
can put his heart back together:
657
00:32:18,519 --> 00:32:22,774
Seeing a bah-humbug stinker like you
find the Christmas spirit.
658
00:32:22,857 --> 00:32:24,359
You will go get Santa.
659
00:32:24,442 --> 00:32:26,319
And what happens if I don't?
660
00:32:26,861 --> 00:32:28,363
Singing.
661
00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:30,239
-Excuse me?
-Hit it.
662
00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:32,450
♪ He's vicious ♪
663
00:32:32,533 --> 00:32:33,785
♪ He's twisted ♪
664
00:32:33,868 --> 00:32:35,745
♪ He's Boss Baby ♪
665
00:32:35,828 --> 00:32:38,790
♪ The baby that ruined
The baby that ruined ♪
666
00:32:38,873 --> 00:32:41,918
♪ The baby that ruined Christmas ♪
667
00:32:42,001 --> 00:32:44,295
Ooh. Catchy hook.
668
00:32:44,379 --> 00:32:47,090
Yeah, throw in some verses and a bridge,
669
00:32:47,173 --> 00:32:50,343
I bet we could get
the whole world singing this.
670
00:32:50,426 --> 00:32:51,386
Please, don't.
671
00:32:52,136 --> 00:32:55,098
[Diddly Doo] ♪ He came to the North Pole
And started fussing ♪
672
00:32:55,181 --> 00:32:57,642
♪ Made Santa cry
With all his cussing ♪
673
00:32:57,725 --> 00:33:00,395
[Lala] ♪ He took Father Christmas
All sweet and loved ♪
674
00:33:00,478 --> 00:33:04,232
♪ And showed him just where
He could shove it ♪
675
00:33:06,401 --> 00:33:07,694
[both] ♪ He's vicious ♪
676
00:33:07,777 --> 00:33:08,861
♪ He's twisted ♪
677
00:33:08,945 --> 00:33:11,322
♪ He's Boss Baby ♪
678
00:33:11,406 --> 00:33:13,992
♪ The baby that ruined
The baby that ruined ♪
679
00:33:14,075 --> 00:33:16,828
♪ The baby that ruined Christmas ♪
680
00:33:16,911 --> 00:33:18,997
This song makes me wanna dance.
681
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,958
And get rid of our Christmas-ruining baby.
682
00:33:22,500 --> 00:33:25,128
[Diddly Doo] ♪ On Christmas morn
All the kids did weep ♪
683
00:33:25,211 --> 00:33:27,714
♪ For not a single toy
Lay beneath their feet ♪
684
00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:33,177
[both]
♪ And just in case you forgot his name ♪
685
00:33:33,261 --> 00:33:36,014
♪ The baby who we all should blame ♪
686
00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:38,641
♪ Theodore Leslie Templeton ♪
687
00:33:38,725 --> 00:33:40,935
♪ Shame, shame, shame ♪
688
00:33:41,561 --> 00:33:43,646
♪ Christmas burned down ♪
689
00:33:43,730 --> 00:33:46,607
♪ And he lit the flame ♪
690
00:33:46,691 --> 00:33:48,901
I love this song and hate this baby.
691
00:33:48,985 --> 00:33:50,194
♪ He's vicious ♪
692
00:33:50,278 --> 00:33:51,571
♪ He's twisted ♪
693
00:33:51,654 --> 00:33:53,406
♪ He's Boss Baby ♪
694
00:33:53,489 --> 00:33:56,534
♪ The baby that ruined
The baby that ruined ♪
695
00:33:56,617 --> 00:34:02,915
♪ The baby that ruined Christmas ♪
696
00:34:06,919 --> 00:34:07,754
Fine.
697
00:34:07,837 --> 00:34:11,174
Promise me that song never
leaves this room, and I'll go get him.
698
00:34:11,257 --> 00:34:12,842
But we still have a problem.
699
00:34:12,925 --> 00:34:13,926
[strums guitar]
700
00:34:14,010 --> 00:34:16,387
I'd get him, but I don't know where he is.
701
00:34:16,471 --> 00:34:17,847
[Noth] I can find him.
702
00:34:17,930 --> 00:34:20,141
I'm the Noth Pole.
703
00:34:20,224 --> 00:34:22,894
He gives me creepy motel check-in vibes.
704
00:34:22,977 --> 00:34:24,729
Can you really find Santa?
705
00:34:24,812 --> 00:34:27,106
Yes, for a price.
706
00:34:27,190 --> 00:34:29,817
I want the letters to Santa.
707
00:34:29,901 --> 00:34:31,736
-All of them.
-[Tim] No way.
708
00:34:31,819 --> 00:34:34,906
Santa needs those
to know what every kid wants.
709
00:34:35,531 --> 00:34:38,868
Oh. I'd love to help,
but I'm memorizing children's letters.
710
00:34:38,951 --> 00:34:44,248
If I don't get their requests locked down,
it'll take me weeks to deliver gifts.
711
00:34:45,291 --> 00:34:47,585
Deal. You can have every letter.
712
00:34:47,668 --> 00:34:49,045
[all] What?
713
00:34:51,672 --> 00:34:53,299
That's it. Every letter.
714
00:34:53,382 --> 00:34:55,802
We did our part. You do yours.
715
00:34:58,513 --> 00:35:02,475
The smiling red one lurks
at the mall in your hometown.
716
00:35:03,309 --> 00:35:05,728
I'll remember none of you.
717
00:35:06,312 --> 00:35:07,480
-[shouts]
-Go.
718
00:35:08,689 --> 00:35:11,901
I can't help it.
One more time. Two, three, four.
719
00:35:11,984 --> 00:35:14,654
♪ The baby that ruined
The baby that ruined ♪
720
00:35:14,737 --> 00:35:17,490
♪ The baby that ruined Christmas ♪
721
00:35:18,324 --> 00:35:19,450
Ron?
722
00:35:20,618 --> 00:35:21,994
You here?
723
00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:23,663
Yo, Ronny.
724
00:35:23,746 --> 00:35:26,749
[groans] Santa?
725
00:35:27,416 --> 00:35:28,626
[Santa snoring]
726
00:35:30,128 --> 00:35:31,337
Time to go.
727
00:35:31,420 --> 00:35:32,463
Boss Baby?
728
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:37,218
But if someone like you would come for me,
729
00:35:37,301 --> 00:35:40,012
it's never too late to change things.
730
00:35:40,096 --> 00:35:44,100
There's no amount of naughtiness
the Christmas spirit can't--
731
00:35:44,183 --> 00:35:48,271
Gonna cut you off before you embarrass
yourself worse than that outfit does.
732
00:35:48,354 --> 00:35:50,773
I'm only here because
if I don't bring you back,
733
00:35:50,857 --> 00:35:54,694
two pint-size hitmakers are gonna
smear my good name all over the Top 40.
734
00:35:54,777 --> 00:35:56,612
Diddly Doo and Lala Doo-Da?
735
00:35:56,696 --> 00:36:00,449
I thought the elves were all mad at me
because of how naughty I've been.
736
00:36:01,534 --> 00:36:02,827
You're not naughty,
737
00:36:02,910 --> 00:36:06,122
just stuck in your ways,
and grossly inefficient.
738
00:36:06,205 --> 00:36:10,376
What do you pay in reindeer maintenance
for one night of use?
739
00:36:10,459 --> 00:36:11,752
Can't you lease?
740
00:36:12,295 --> 00:36:16,716
But for reasons beyond me,
the elves want you back for Christmas.
741
00:36:17,341 --> 00:36:19,552
-And what about you?
-What?
742
00:36:19,635 --> 00:36:22,138
What do you want for Christmas?
743
00:36:24,265 --> 00:36:25,099
No.
744
00:36:27,935 --> 00:36:29,270
No.
745
00:36:29,353 --> 00:36:31,230
Hey, I'm stuck in my ways.
746
00:36:31,314 --> 00:36:35,193
You want something from Santa?
Ask. I don't make the rules.
747
00:36:35,276 --> 00:36:37,445
You absolutely make the...
748
00:36:37,528 --> 00:36:39,322
[groans] Fine.
749
00:36:41,949 --> 00:36:43,367
I got it. I got it.
750
00:36:45,536 --> 00:36:48,873
-Come back to the North Pole.
-What, little boy?
751
00:36:48,956 --> 00:36:52,418
[yelling] I'd like you
to come back to the North Pole.
752
00:36:53,044 --> 00:36:54,795
Santa can do that for you.
753
00:36:57,006 --> 00:37:01,344
I think we just had
a Christmas spirit breakthrough.
754
00:37:01,427 --> 00:37:03,554
Is this what it feels like?
755
00:37:04,096 --> 00:37:06,724
I also want a tie clip,
a gold one with wings on it.
756
00:37:06,807 --> 00:37:10,811
And one of those electric shoe polishers
you see in golf club locker rooms.
757
00:37:10,895 --> 00:37:14,774
And gift cards. They're tacky,
but it's like plastic money.
758
00:37:15,358 --> 00:37:17,526
That's what the Christmas spirit is.
759
00:37:17,610 --> 00:37:20,821
Asking for things you don't need
and don't have time to get.
760
00:37:20,905 --> 00:37:22,865
-No.
-Well, hey, you tried.
761
00:37:25,368 --> 00:37:26,994
Ho, ho, ho!
762
00:37:29,497 --> 00:37:31,624
You have the worst catchphrase.
763
00:37:31,707 --> 00:37:33,709
Yeah? What's yours?
764
00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:37,838
Oh. I was trying to make
"fart poop doody" work, but...
765
00:37:37,922 --> 00:37:39,715
[groans] Do your dumb laugh.
766
00:37:39,799 --> 00:37:41,217
Ho, ho, ho!
767
00:37:41,300 --> 00:37:42,510
[all cheering]
768
00:37:45,972 --> 00:37:47,390
You've been busy.
769
00:37:47,473 --> 00:37:48,641
Santa, I'm sorry.
770
00:37:48,724 --> 00:37:51,352
It was everyone else
who messed with all the stuff--
771
00:37:51,435 --> 00:37:53,020
-I like it.
-I helped.
772
00:37:53,104 --> 00:37:54,689
[Dongle clearing throat]
773
00:37:55,731 --> 00:37:57,942
Dongle. It's jolly to see you.
774
00:37:58,025 --> 00:38:01,195
Dongle is a comforting presence.
775
00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:03,281
A gift from all of us.
776
00:38:03,364 --> 00:38:06,033
But don't worry, Dongle made it.
777
00:38:06,117 --> 00:38:08,911
A Baby Corp monitor? Um--
778
00:38:08,995 --> 00:38:10,997
Press the talky button.
779
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:12,832
I'm Baby Corp.
780
00:38:12,915 --> 00:38:14,500
I'm incompetent.
781
00:38:14,583 --> 00:38:15,960
[all laughing]
782
00:38:17,878 --> 00:38:20,756
First rule of business, I'm dumb.
783
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:24,385
Second rule, I forgot, because I'm dumb.
784
00:38:24,468 --> 00:38:25,886
[all laughing]
785
00:38:28,139 --> 00:38:29,390
[coughing]
786
00:38:30,725 --> 00:38:32,184
Look at the bottom.
787
00:38:33,019 --> 00:38:33,936
[Santa] "Dongle"?
788
00:38:34,020 --> 00:38:36,105
We put our names on everything,
789
00:38:36,188 --> 00:38:40,318
so the children know why they weep
with joy when they get a Dongle toy.
790
00:38:40,401 --> 00:38:43,988
It's not the way things
have always been done, but...
791
00:38:44,071 --> 00:38:48,701
If the way things are always done
leaves people unhappy, who needs it?
792
00:38:49,618 --> 00:38:51,037
[inaudible dialogue]
793
00:38:57,460 --> 00:39:01,255
It's perfect. I'm sorry
I didn't think of this years ago.
794
00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:03,507
Anyone know if this is edible?
795
00:39:03,591 --> 00:39:04,842
It's that late?
796
00:39:04,925 --> 00:39:06,469
[Jimbo] It's not edible.
797
00:39:06,552 --> 00:39:09,138
We don't have time. What have I done?
798
00:39:09,221 --> 00:39:11,932
I'll never get the presents out tonight.
799
00:39:12,016 --> 00:39:14,852
Is this guy's name Santa or Can't-a?
800
00:39:14,935 --> 00:39:18,147
Efficiency, Ron.
Still got those gifts memorized?
801
00:39:18,230 --> 00:39:20,149
Do I? TWCAFIJ.
802
00:39:20,232 --> 00:39:23,861
Tim Wants Canadian
Action Figure in Jacuzzi.
803
00:39:23,944 --> 00:39:24,987
He's got them.
804
00:39:25,071 --> 00:39:27,239
-Yeah!
-[elves cheering]
805
00:39:27,865 --> 00:39:29,492
Elves, Baby Corp,
806
00:39:29,575 --> 00:39:31,243
let's Christmas.
807
00:39:33,079 --> 00:39:36,248
-Like "let's do this" but--
-We got it. We just don't like it.
808
00:39:36,874 --> 00:39:38,918
-[shouts]
-Let's Christmas.
809
00:39:39,001 --> 00:39:41,128
-Yeah!
-[all cheering]
810
00:39:41,212 --> 00:39:42,963
["Joy to the World" playing]
811
00:39:48,302 --> 00:39:49,595
Release.
812
00:39:56,102 --> 00:39:57,061
-Toys.
-Toys.
813
00:39:57,144 --> 00:39:58,020
-Toys.
-Toys.
814
00:40:11,492 --> 00:40:15,162
I'd like your most expensive pinky ring.
815
00:40:15,246 --> 00:40:17,790
Let's just say I've got enough letters
816
00:40:17,873 --> 00:40:21,293
to fill vending machines
from Miyazaki to Hokkaido.
817
00:40:21,377 --> 00:40:22,253
What?
818
00:40:22,336 --> 00:40:23,796
No, no, no.
819
00:40:25,423 --> 00:40:27,675
[Tim] Dear Noth, stop selling letters.
820
00:40:27,758 --> 00:40:28,801
It's not nice.
821
00:40:28,884 --> 00:40:31,303
Here's a present, anyway. Love, Tim.
822
00:40:33,639 --> 00:40:37,560
The scary broken toy
I wanted as a kid, but never got.
823
00:40:38,727 --> 00:40:40,813
Mom, Dad?
824
00:40:41,397 --> 00:40:42,398
It's Kyle.
825
00:40:42,481 --> 00:40:47,153
[girl 1] A ten-speed bicycle from
Ding Dong Dongle, and it's made from wood.
826
00:40:47,236 --> 00:40:49,613
[girl 2 in French]
Jingly Jangly made my teddy bear.
827
00:40:49,697 --> 00:40:51,365
[boy] A baseball mitt.
828
00:40:51,449 --> 00:40:54,160
And Tippy Tappy Sloppy the Elf made it.
829
00:40:55,536 --> 00:40:59,874
Lucky the kids got Mom's genetics,
because Dad is a pile of yikes.
830
00:40:59,957 --> 00:41:00,958
[boy] Santa?
831
00:41:02,751 --> 00:41:04,628
-[paper ripping]
-[gasps] A yo-yo.
832
00:41:04,712 --> 00:41:08,007
Made by PoopyDoopy the Elf?
833
00:41:08,090 --> 00:41:10,301
Thank you, Santa and PoopyDoopy.
834
00:41:10,384 --> 00:41:14,013
I love it,
and promise to share with everyone.
835
00:41:14,096 --> 00:41:15,931
How do we get past the kid?
836
00:41:18,601 --> 00:41:19,935
-[boy yawns]
-[body thuds]
837
00:41:20,019 --> 00:41:22,229
-You sick St. Nick.
-[boy snoring]
838
00:41:26,317 --> 00:41:29,111
I can't believe
I delivered presents with Santa.
839
00:41:29,195 --> 00:41:30,821
Every last one.
840
00:41:30,905 --> 00:41:32,740
Free of charge.
841
00:41:32,823 --> 00:41:34,408
Oh, please, I helped.
842
00:41:34,492 --> 00:41:37,453
Doesn't mean I'll dump my portfolio
and move to a commune.
843
00:41:37,536 --> 00:41:38,704
Thank you, Santa.
844
00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:40,831
Merry Christmas.
845
00:41:43,918 --> 00:41:45,920
So, what lame teachable gift
846
00:41:46,003 --> 00:41:49,548
that sums up this whole experience
do you have for me?
847
00:41:50,090 --> 00:41:50,925
Santa?
848
00:41:51,509 --> 00:41:52,468
Hello?
849
00:41:52,551 --> 00:41:53,552
Nothing?
850
00:41:53,636 --> 00:41:56,388
Don't you want me
to get the Christmas spir--? Ow!
851
00:41:56,472 --> 00:41:58,474
Ho, ho, ho.
852
00:42:01,227 --> 00:42:03,229
They call me MC Christmas.
853
00:42:03,312 --> 00:42:05,940
The C also stands for Christmas.
854
00:42:06,023 --> 00:42:08,442
-Ted, it's Christmas morning.
-What?
855
00:42:08,526 --> 00:42:12,947
We forgot to make snack leis.
We'll starve during fruitcake hockey.
856
00:42:13,030 --> 00:42:18,160
We'll ruin our sweet little guy's
first traditional Templeton Christmas.
857
00:42:18,244 --> 00:42:21,330
What if he isn't into
the traditional Templeton Christmas?
858
00:42:21,413 --> 00:42:24,583
They're family traditions.
Our family's different now.
859
00:42:24,667 --> 00:42:28,045
If the way we always do things
makes one of us unhappy,
860
00:42:28,128 --> 00:42:29,880
let's do different things.
861
00:42:32,466 --> 00:42:35,928
-I could come up with new ideas.
-Family brainstorm.
862
00:42:36,011 --> 00:42:38,681
What are fun words
that rhyme with "wreath"?
863
00:42:38,764 --> 00:42:41,684
Santa gave me snack leis,
so this tradition is back on.
864
00:42:41,767 --> 00:42:44,311
[both] Fruitcake hockey in the driveway.
865
00:42:44,395 --> 00:42:47,189
-We'll get the sticks.
-Wrap the baby in sofa cushions.
866
00:42:47,273 --> 00:42:48,857
Your mom plays violent.
867
00:42:50,693 --> 00:42:52,152
I'll talk them out of that.
868
00:42:53,404 --> 00:42:55,990
You don't have
to throw out every tradition for me.
869
00:42:56,073 --> 00:42:58,367
You'll do fruitcake hockey and snack leis?
870
00:42:58,450 --> 00:43:00,786
This wearable choking hazard? No.
871
00:43:00,869 --> 00:43:04,582
But I'll play
your holiday dessert Canadian stick game.
872
00:43:04,665 --> 00:43:06,333
-You will?
-It's nonsense.
873
00:43:06,417 --> 00:43:11,755
But it can't be all bad if it brings
people together, and gets you all smiley.
874
00:43:11,839 --> 00:43:13,090
Just like Santa.
875
00:43:13,173 --> 00:43:16,927
I guess. I mean, if you squint
and don't think about it--
876
00:43:17,011 --> 00:43:19,638
No. Feeling Christmas spirit. [shouts]
877
00:43:24,810 --> 00:43:26,395
[Tim] Goal!
878
00:43:27,354 --> 00:43:30,482
[Danny gasps]
I got a sock full of dead dinosaurs.
879
00:43:30,566 --> 00:43:33,235
Merry Christmas to all.
880
00:43:33,319 --> 00:43:35,112
The end.
881
00:43:36,989 --> 00:43:39,533
That was in no way
a "make us fall asleep" story.
882
00:43:39,617 --> 00:43:41,869
-I have so many questions.
-Yeah.
883
00:43:41,952 --> 00:43:46,165
Wasn't your setup about why we should do
goofy traditions even if we don't want to?
884
00:43:46,248 --> 00:43:48,208
You bailed on that with your brother.
885
00:43:48,292 --> 00:43:52,087
-Then he did some, but not others.
-What's the takeaway?
886
00:43:52,171 --> 00:43:54,715
Want easy lessons? Go to kindergarten.
887
00:43:54,798 --> 00:43:57,676
-[Tina] Can I?
-Not until you're 5. Go to sleep.
888
00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:58,594
-Five?
-How?
889
00:43:58,677 --> 00:44:01,639
You opened a Pandora's box
of moral ambiguity.
890
00:44:01,722 --> 00:44:04,850
Can we go to the zoo
if I don't make fun of the capybaras?
891
00:44:07,061 --> 00:44:08,812
You grew up big and weird.
892
00:44:14,568 --> 00:44:16,904
[Tabitha & Tina coughing]
893
00:44:16,987 --> 00:44:19,531
Okay, all done. Dongle kill kids.
894
00:44:19,615 --> 00:44:21,158
Very funny.
895
00:44:21,241 --> 00:44:24,078
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice--
896
00:44:24,161 --> 00:44:26,622
Dongle is serious.
The big one deserved it.
897
00:44:26,705 --> 00:44:29,333
She stopped feeding
the Christmas Panda and it died.
898
00:44:29,416 --> 00:44:30,501
What?
899
00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:35,547
Dongle tricked you again for drama.
900
00:44:36,256 --> 00:44:38,884
You are welcome for the spice of life.
901
00:44:38,967 --> 00:44:40,427
Merry Christmas.
902
00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:42,388
[adult Tim] Merry Christmas.
903
00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:46,600
[pop music playing]
904
00:45:06,412 --> 00:45:08,247
♪ Boss Baby ♪
64131
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