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1
00:00:34,464 --> 00:00:36,580
Oh dearie me!
I am losing again
2
00:00:38,784 --> 00:00:40,614
- Good evening all
- Hello Sid
3
00:00:41,063 --> 00:00:42,655
- How you doing?
- Do what?
4
00:00:42,783 --> 00:00:45,456
- How you doing?
- Oh Thanks very much! l'll have a pint
5
00:00:46,023 --> 00:00:48,536
l said 'how you doing?' not
'what you having?'
6
00:00:48,662 --> 00:00:51,051
- Do what?
- Never mind! Come on
7
00:00:52,702 --> 00:00:54,499
Hello curly! What can l get you?
8
00:00:54,662 --> 00:00:58,700
- How about excited?
- Congratulations
9
00:00:58,821 --> 00:01:01,335
You are the five hundredth
person to say that tonight
10
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:04,055
You win our star award, a beer mat
11
00:01:04,621 --> 00:01:08,295
- Thanks! A pint for Sid!
- Thelma Ritter
12
00:01:08,420 --> 00:01:11,093
Thelma Ritter, eh?
l'm Giovanni Cupello
13
00:01:11,540 --> 00:01:15,771
That's not her name! Thelma
Ritter's a pint of bitter!
14
00:01:15,699 --> 00:01:19,374
- Cockney rhyming slang
- Sure l remember
15
00:01:19,699 --> 00:01:21,018
42 pence!
16
00:01:21,139 --> 00:01:23,130
And a packet of assaulted
peasnuts please!
17
00:01:26,698 --> 00:01:28,131
- Cheers
- Thanks a lot
18
00:01:29,498 --> 00:01:32,331
- How is the Las Vegas kid doing, eh?
- Terrible
19
00:01:34,777 --> 00:01:38,565
- You never win nothing on this machine
- l tell you! lt's fixed
20
00:01:38,697 --> 00:01:40,608
Oh no, lady behind bar is telling me
21
00:01:40,737 --> 00:01:44,775
lt is nearly time for somebody to
be winning the Jack in the pot
22
00:01:46,136 --> 00:01:47,046
l try again!
23
00:01:50,096 --> 00:01:51,768
But this time l am not looking!
24
00:01:53,415 --> 00:01:55,531
See l tell you, you not win nothing
25
00:01:57,255 --> 00:02:00,088
Yes but l am getting three bars! Look!
26
00:02:00,215 --> 00:02:02,489
lf l'm holding them,
next time l will be winning
27
00:02:03,334 --> 00:02:05,290
You've already spent one pound
28
00:02:05,414 --> 00:02:08,963
Yes but if l am getting another bar,
l will be collecting five pounds
29
00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:12,332
Oh dearie me! l am not
having any more ten p's
30
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,485
Could you be changing this please?
31
00:02:14,613 --> 00:02:16,683
Sorry Ali, l spent all my change
32
00:02:16,813 --> 00:02:19,485
- Maxie?
- I ain't got any ten p's
33
00:02:19,612 --> 00:02:21,204
l'll be losing the jack in the pot
34
00:02:23,292 --> 00:02:24,611
Ah professore!
35
00:02:24,732 --> 00:02:25,642
- Good evening
- Good evening
36
00:02:26,092 --> 00:02:29,720
- You want a Thelma Ritter?
- Pardon?
37
00:02:29,651 --> 00:02:33,564
- Thelma Ritter, bitter
- You've been talking to
Sid the caretaker again
38
00:02:34,651 --> 00:02:37,687
Sure, he's teaching me more of
his cockeyned slanging rhyme
39
00:02:38,730 --> 00:02:41,244
- Cockney
- Oh, scusi
40
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,485
- Max!
- Yes Mr. Brown
41
00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:44,646
lt's your point of interest! You
happened to remember what a cockney is?
42
00:02:44,770 --> 00:02:48,603
Sure, lt's someone who was
born near the sound of Bows Balls
43
00:02:50,609 --> 00:02:53,362
- Bells!
- Hockay
44
00:02:53,769 --> 00:02:55,282
- You want a drink?
- No, thanks
45
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:58,081
- l just called for some cigarettes
- Excuse me please Mr. Brown
46
00:02:58,208 --> 00:03:01,166
Would you be having changes for a
pound to be putting in the machine?
47
00:03:01,288 --> 00:03:04,246
- You're wasting your money Ali
- No l'm sure to be winning
48
00:03:04,368 --> 00:03:07,598
- l'm holding three bars
- Well, it's your money! Let's have a look
49
00:03:08,047 --> 00:03:10,117
- Good evening everybodies
- Good evening Ranjeet
50
00:03:10,247 --> 00:03:11,123
Excuse me!
51
00:03:15,406 --> 00:03:19,285
- What are you doing you damn fool?
- l'm having a go on this machine you pig
52
00:03:26,045 --> 00:03:28,001
l'm winning the Jackpot
53
00:03:28,485 --> 00:03:29,679
That is my winnings
54
00:03:30,005 --> 00:03:33,633
How can it being your winnings?
l am putting the money, for 10 p. in
55
00:03:33,764 --> 00:03:35,038
There is your ten p.
56
00:03:35,804 --> 00:03:39,638
- Take your dirty hands off my money
- That is my money you bearded bandit
57
00:03:40,044 --> 00:03:42,398
Quiet the pair of you! Why
don't you share the money?
58
00:03:42,803 --> 00:03:44,953
lt's a good idea! There's five of us
59
00:03:46,763 --> 00:03:48,560
That's one pound each
60
00:03:48,683 --> 00:03:51,321
l mean between Ali and
Ranjeet! Then you've both won
61
00:03:51,442 --> 00:03:54,002
- You are as wise as a Holy Guru
- Thank you
62
00:03:54,682 --> 00:03:56,274
Actually, it's time you all
go back to school
63
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:59,075
lt's your exams tomorrow! You should
be taking every opportunity to study
64
00:03:59,442 --> 00:04:01,272
- l know
- Okay cockey
65
00:04:02,321 --> 00:04:03,993
- We go
- l go
66
00:04:04,481 --> 00:04:05,675
Come on Ali! You too
67
00:04:08,761 --> 00:04:10,159
- Waiter?
- Pardon?
68
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,316
A gin and tonic and a lager please
69
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:14,555
l'm afraid you're making a mistake
70
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,271
Don't be ridiculous! l know what l want
71
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,592
A gin and tonic for me and a lager for
my husband! He's just parking the car
72
00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:23,354
No, look madam you don't
understand! l'm a school teacher
73
00:04:24,239 --> 00:04:26,230
That's nothing to be ashamed of
74
00:04:27,039 --> 00:04:29,950
l think it's quite commendable
75
00:04:30,078 --> 00:04:33,627
That you should supplement your
income by working in a public house
76
00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:36,395
Look, l am not
what you think l am
77
00:04:36,517 --> 00:04:38,587
And l am not interested in
your personal problems!
78
00:04:39,037 --> 00:04:42,632
l just want a gin and tonic and a lager
79
00:04:42,757 --> 00:04:43,985
- Yes...
- Now!
80
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,595
A gin and tonic and a lager
81
00:04:47,236 --> 00:04:49,670
- Hello Mr. Brown
- Hello Sid, how are you?
82
00:04:49,796 --> 00:04:50,990
l'll have a gold watch
83
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:53,505
- Pardon?
- A scotch
84
00:04:53,636 --> 00:04:54,988
l wasn't offering you a drink
85
00:04:55,115 --> 00:04:56,514
- You what?
- Oh, nevermind
86
00:04:56,635 --> 00:04:59,195
A scotch for Sid! 20 cigarettes for me
87
00:04:59,315 --> 00:05:01,670
And a gin and tonic and a
lager for that lady over there
88
00:05:01,795 --> 00:05:02,705
She thinks l am a waiter
89
00:05:03,035 --> 00:05:05,343
- You what?
- She thinks l'm a waiter
90
00:05:06,034 --> 00:05:08,548
- How long have you been doing it then?
- What?
91
00:05:09,754 --> 00:05:13,143
- This waiting on lot
- l'm not! l'm not a waiter
92
00:05:13,273 --> 00:05:14,547
- You are?
- Never mind
93
00:05:15,193 --> 00:05:16,990
One pound 60 please
94
00:05:17,113 --> 00:05:19,581
Well actually these drinks are for
that lady and gentleman over there
95
00:05:19,713 --> 00:05:21,385
- They've still got to
be paid for, aren't they?
- Yes but...
96
00:05:21,513 --> 00:05:24,584
Alright, I'll pay for
them and they can pay me later
97
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:27,348
How much is it just for the
gin and tonic and the lager?
98
00:05:27,472 --> 00:05:29,463
- At 72
- 72
99
00:05:29,592 --> 00:05:31,422
- Cheers good health
- Ah... good health
100
00:05:38,031 --> 00:05:40,181
There you are! 72 p. Please
101
00:05:40,310 --> 00:05:43,620
- Didn't I see you
take a drink of my lager?
- Yes, but it was only a sip
102
00:05:43,750 --> 00:05:47,538
Oh yes l suppose you were tasting
it to make sure it was fit to drink
103
00:05:47,670 --> 00:05:49,228
No... no, it was purely accidental
104
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,499
l've a good mind to report
you to the brewery
105
00:05:51,669 --> 00:05:53,625
Frankly, l couldn't care
less what you do
106
00:05:54,069 --> 00:05:56,663
Your attitude is typical of
the working class mentality
107
00:05:56,789 --> 00:06:00,303
lt's people like you that are ruining the
country! You're nothing but a peasant
108
00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:03,579
And you sir are a bourgeois
snob! 72 p. Please
109
00:06:03,708 --> 00:06:07,587
l refuse to pay for a drink that
has been contaminated by your lips
110
00:06:07,707 --> 00:06:08,617
Ah... I see
111
00:06:09,067 --> 00:06:11,023
All right don't pay for it!
Have it on me!
112
00:06:11,667 --> 00:06:12,543
Here you go!
113
00:06:18,306 --> 00:06:19,421
Silence!
114
00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:24,498
This is disgraceful! Ten minutes past
seven and Mr. Brown has not arrived
115
00:06:24,706 --> 00:06:26,536
But you are mistaken!
116
00:06:26,665 --> 00:06:29,623
- He is here, isn't he Anna?
- Ja
117
00:06:29,745 --> 00:06:32,305
- That's right! He's always early
- Yes please
118
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:36,576
Tonight, he was being so early that he
was here ten minutes before he arrived
119
00:06:38,264 --> 00:06:42,701
- He's just gone hout
- Where has he gone 'hout' to?
120
00:06:42,984 --> 00:06:44,939
- Tea room
- Toilet
121
00:06:45,623 --> 00:06:47,056
l beg your pardon!
122
00:06:47,183 --> 00:06:48,582
- Toilet
- Tea room
123
00:06:49,623 --> 00:06:51,295
Would you like to try again?
124
00:06:51,423 --> 00:06:55,256
Vhat they mean is, first he goes to
tea room, then he goes to toilet
125
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:56,940
- Yeah, yeah
- That's right
126
00:06:57,302 --> 00:06:59,054
Hello Miss Courtney, sorry l'm late
127
00:06:59,182 --> 00:07:00,979
- But you're not
- Really?
128
00:07:01,102 --> 00:07:03,296
According to your students, you
were here all the time
129
00:07:03,421 --> 00:07:06,697
- Oh yes well
- Well, where exactly were you?
130
00:07:07,021 --> 00:07:09,410
- We told you, he...
- l'm asking Mr. Brown
131
00:07:09,981 --> 00:07:12,210
- Well?
- Ah yes emm...
132
00:07:20,699 --> 00:07:22,530
And what is going on?
133
00:07:22,659 --> 00:07:24,138
l don't know, but from
their sign language
134
00:07:24,259 --> 00:07:26,853
l think they're trying to say
l was having a cup of tea in the toilet
135
00:07:28,219 --> 00:07:30,334
Actually Miss Courtney, l'll tell you the
truth! l am late, and the reason is this!
136
00:07:30,458 --> 00:07:32,289
l'd just parked accross the pub
for some cigarettes
137
00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:35,649
l was mistaken for a waiter, bought two
drinks for two people l'd never met before
138
00:07:35,778 --> 00:07:39,452
Was called a peasant and
finished up by pouring a glass
of lager over a gentleman's head
139
00:07:39,577 --> 00:07:41,488
You're an even bigger liar
than your students!
140
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:46,727
l would have thought you'd have
made an effort to be early this evening
141
00:07:46,657 --> 00:07:49,124
After all, it's your last
chance to teach them something
142
00:07:49,256 --> 00:07:51,133
Before they take their exams tomorrow
143
00:07:51,256 --> 00:07:53,247
Yes, miss Courtney you're
quite right as usual
144
00:07:53,376 --> 00:07:57,732
Not that l think any of them have
the remotest chance of passing
145
00:08:00,255 --> 00:08:02,325
Right come on,
sit in your places please
146
00:08:02,455 --> 00:08:05,447
- She thinks ve are stupid
- l think she got a point
147
00:08:05,575 --> 00:08:07,166
- Por favore
- Yes Juan?
148
00:08:07,614 --> 00:08:12,972
What you think about this exam?
You think we pass?
149
00:08:13,094 --> 00:08:15,289
Do l think you'll pass?
Juan, for the past 13 weeks,
150
00:08:15,413 --> 00:08:17,290
you've all been coming here to study,
right?
151
00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:19,608
13 weeks of hard work,
diligence and application
152
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,564
13 weeks of blood toil and sweat
153
00:08:21,693 --> 00:08:23,570
Slowly, little by little,
you have improved
154
00:08:23,693 --> 00:08:25,648
When you sit down to take
your examination tomorrow
155
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:29,481
l will have no doubts whether you'll pass
or not! You haven't a cat in hells chance!
156
00:08:31,012 --> 00:08:32,047
Quiet! Quiet!
157
00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:34,925
Oh blimey, you are not
giving us any confidence
158
00:08:35,051 --> 00:08:36,564
Maybe some of you may
manage to scrape through
159
00:08:36,691 --> 00:08:38,568
But l shall be most
surprised if you all pass
160
00:08:39,011 --> 00:08:41,571
l shall pass to plove supeliolity
of lepubric of China
161
00:08:41,971 --> 00:08:43,961
Yes we'll see about that!
162
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:47,002
ln the meantime, l want tonight to
talk about the exam and afterwards
163
00:08:47,130 --> 00:08:49,519
lf any of you have any questions
about any points you're not sure of
164
00:08:49,650 --> 00:08:51,606
They'll just ask and l'll
do my best to answer them
165
00:08:52,129 --> 00:08:54,359
- Excuse me please
- Not yet Taro
166
00:08:54,489 --> 00:08:55,558
l want to talk about the exam first
167
00:08:55,689 --> 00:08:57,839
- Then you can ask a question
- Ah so
168
00:08:59,649 --> 00:09:03,084
Now the first thing is
l shall not be taking you
169
00:09:03,568 --> 00:09:07,243
Excuse please Mr. Ji, where
will you not be taking us to?
170
00:09:07,728 --> 00:09:10,639
l mean l shan't be here
tomorrow when you take your exam
171
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:14,846
Jelly good! We can be reading all
the answers from our books
172
00:09:15,647 --> 00:09:19,037
- There will be somebody here
- Oh dear
173
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:21,839
l am thinking l am going
to be up a gummy tree
174
00:09:23,206 --> 00:09:25,003
ln any case, you're
not supposed to cheat
175
00:09:25,126 --> 00:09:27,515
lt's customary for another
teacher from another school
176
00:09:27,646 --> 00:09:29,237
To take an examination of this kind
177
00:09:30,165 --> 00:09:31,598
Excuse me please
178
00:09:31,725 --> 00:09:34,398
- Later Taro please
- Ok-o
179
00:09:36,165 --> 00:09:39,600
When you take your examination, the lower
Cambridge certificate is not too difficult
180
00:09:40,004 --> 00:09:42,234
The exam is divided into 3 parts
181
00:09:42,724 --> 00:09:46,399
There will be an oral examination and
a written one! Then comes dictation
182
00:09:46,524 --> 00:09:47,638
ls that his name?
183
00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:51,075
ls that who's name?
184
00:09:51,483 --> 00:09:56,954
The man who is going to be taking us to
be doing the examination! Dick Tation
185
00:09:58,362 --> 00:10:02,560
Dictation is when a person reads something
out aloud and another person copy it down
186
00:10:03,082 --> 00:10:05,390
Like a short fingered typist
187
00:10:06,961 --> 00:10:09,077
- Short hand typist
- Yes please
188
00:10:09,681 --> 00:10:11,034
Excuse me please
189
00:10:11,161 --> 00:10:13,470
You can ask your question in a moment Taro
190
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:18,716
When you've completed your examination,
the papers are taken away to be marked
191
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,551
And you will be notified
of the results by post
192
00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:24,149
So please make sure you write your
names clearly on your papers
193
00:10:24,279 --> 00:10:25,712
Christian name and surname
194
00:10:25,999 --> 00:10:27,990
- l cannot do that
- Why not?
195
00:10:28,119 --> 00:10:29,234
l am not a Christian
196
00:10:30,239 --> 00:10:33,708
lf you want to be pedantic about it
Ranjeet, write your surname and forename
197
00:10:33,638 --> 00:10:35,947
l am not having four names also
198
00:10:36,998 --> 00:10:45,393
The prefix fore in this case is spelt FORE
and means first for example ''forefinger''
199
00:10:45,757 --> 00:10:50,830
Uno momente! Four finger one thumb
200
00:10:52,716 --> 00:10:56,072
- No not four fingers
- Si, si
201
00:10:56,196 --> 00:10:59,632
A-one, a-two, a-three, a-four
202
00:10:59,955 --> 00:11:05,029
- This is my forefinger
- No, that's only one finger
203
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:09,071
l wonder if l should cancel tomorrow
204
00:11:09,194 --> 00:11:10,547
- Por favore?
- Never mind
205
00:11:10,994 --> 00:11:13,713
Excuse please
206
00:11:13,634 --> 00:11:19,230
- Yes, you can ask your question now Taro
- Request-o permission to visit toilet
207
00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:22,910
- Yes of course, sorry
- Thank you
208
00:11:28,032 --> 00:11:30,148
Has anybody else got a question?
209
00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:33,389
Yes, after tomollow,
will we see you again?
210
00:11:33,512 --> 00:11:36,264
That depends on so many things,
whether l'm engaged for another term
211
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:37,540
Or whether any of you decide
212
00:11:37,671 --> 00:11:40,549
Whatever the results of your exam to
come back for a further course
213
00:11:40,991 --> 00:11:45,223
l will give you my address! And
you can come and see me any time
214
00:11:46,070 --> 00:11:47,867
Quiet, quiet!
215
00:11:48,310 --> 00:11:50,380
Mr. Brown, can you spare
a moment please?
216
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:53,707
Certainly, l suggest you all
study your verbs until l return
217
00:11:56,669 --> 00:12:00,264
As you know, another teacher will
be taking the exam tomorrow
218
00:12:00,389 --> 00:12:01,424
Yes
219
00:12:01,549 --> 00:12:05,257
The gentleman who used to be the principal
of this college will be supervising your class
220
00:12:05,388 --> 00:12:08,141
He's in my office now! l thought it
might be a good idea if you met him
221
00:12:08,268 --> 00:12:11,260
- l'd like to
- Do try to make a good impression
222
00:12:11,388 --> 00:12:14,823
lt does no harm if he's
favourably disposed towards you
223
00:12:15,627 --> 00:12:17,857
This is our English teacher Mr. Brown
224
00:12:18,747 --> 00:12:22,421
- lt's you
- lt's a small world, isn't it?
225
00:12:46,464 --> 00:12:47,943
Silence please!
226
00:12:48,064 --> 00:12:49,542
Exam in progress
227
00:12:51,023 --> 00:12:54,333
Good evening Mr. Cupello!
All ready for your examination?
228
00:12:54,463 --> 00:12:57,660
Sure, everything's gonna be "Oki talki"
229
00:12:58,542 --> 00:12:59,975
Bueno Serra everybody
230
00:13:01,022 --> 00:13:03,377
- Has anybody got a pen?
- Yes
231
00:13:03,502 --> 00:13:06,380
- But prease lemember who it berongs to
- Sure l will
232
00:13:07,342 --> 00:13:09,855
What are you doing?
233
00:13:10,221 --> 00:13:12,416
l tell you! l just been studying my verbs!
234
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:15,374
So l'm gonna write them down on
my hand so l don't forget
235
00:13:15,501 --> 00:13:19,015
- Typical of western dishonesty
- l think it's a good idea
236
00:13:19,580 --> 00:13:22,014
You want to write verb
tenses on your hand too?
237
00:13:22,140 --> 00:13:24,529
No, l'm ok on verbs but
not good on pronouns
238
00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:27,373
- So write pronouns
- No need
239
00:13:27,499 --> 00:13:29,694
l already write them on handkerchief
240
00:13:31,619 --> 00:13:33,894
Smart!
241
00:13:34,379 --> 00:13:36,255
lt is wrong to cheat
242
00:13:36,378 --> 00:13:39,529
- Don't you agree Ali?
- Not at all, l am also cheating
243
00:13:40,218 --> 00:13:43,210
You have got something
written on your handkerchief?
244
00:13:43,338 --> 00:13:44,975
No, it is in my hat
245
00:13:47,177 --> 00:13:50,567
This is terrible! lf you are found
out, you will be disqualified
246
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:53,006
Old japanese philosopher he say
247
00:13:54,616 --> 00:13:57,494
"Man who deals flom bottom-o,
usually end up on top"
248
00:13:58,656 --> 00:14:03,570
- You as vell?
- Taro not good on adverbs
249
00:14:03,975 --> 00:14:08,491
So have some written on chair seat
250
00:14:10,215 --> 00:14:13,126
Ah, good evening everyone
251
00:14:13,254 --> 00:14:15,370
Nice to see you all are bright and early
252
00:14:15,494 --> 00:14:16,813
l expect you're feeling a bit nervous
253
00:14:17,174 --> 00:14:18,892
- l am not nervous
- Oh goood
254
00:14:19,574 --> 00:14:24,488
- l am putrified
- Petrified
255
00:14:25,253 --> 00:14:26,481
Well yeah, do your best!
256
00:14:26,613 --> 00:14:29,286
l'm not supposed to be
here so l shall be in the pub
257
00:14:29,413 --> 00:14:31,209
- All right?
- All right
258
00:14:31,332 --> 00:14:35,041
But if you all call in when you finish your
exam, l'll buy you all an end of term drink
259
00:14:36,652 --> 00:14:39,563
- Well a... good luck Taro
- Thank you
260
00:14:40,131 --> 00:14:42,520
You must be nervous! That's the first
time you haven't stood up and bowed
261
00:14:43,731 --> 00:14:46,086
- Good luck Juan
- Muchas gracias
262
00:14:46,931 --> 00:14:50,127
- Good luck Giovanni
- Thanks professori
263
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,408
You're not too nervous to
shake hands, are you?
264
00:14:52,530 --> 00:14:55,840
- Si l am very nervous
- Nonsense, come on
265
00:14:55,970 --> 00:14:59,006
- That didn't hurt, did it?
- Not a lot
266
00:15:00,289 --> 00:15:01,278
Ranjeet
267
00:15:01,649 --> 00:15:05,961
- That's funny, where did that ink come from?
- Maybe your pen has got a leak
268
00:15:06,568 --> 00:15:10,481
- Let me see your hand Giovanni
- There's nothing there professore
269
00:15:10,608 --> 00:15:13,520
- The other one
- There's nothing there either
270
00:15:14,128 --> 00:15:16,163
There's something there now, isn't it?
271
00:15:16,287 --> 00:15:20,246
Oh no, my pen is got a leak as well
272
00:15:21,727 --> 00:15:25,355
And l suppose while it was leaking, it
just happened to write a few verbs down
273
00:15:25,726 --> 00:15:28,524
Sorry professore, my
verbs is a bit bad
274
00:15:28,646 --> 00:15:30,238
l suggest you clean all that off
275
00:15:30,366 --> 00:15:33,801
- l don't seem to have a handkerchief myself
- Max has got a hankerchief!
276
00:15:35,005 --> 00:15:40,159
- l got no handkerchief
- What's that sticking
out of your top pocket?
277
00:15:40,925 --> 00:15:43,916
Oh that, that's not a proper handkerchief
278
00:15:44,364 --> 00:15:46,002
Maybe Ali's got a proper handkerchief
279
00:15:46,604 --> 00:15:48,401
Let me see that handkerchief Max
280
00:15:51,963 --> 00:15:56,400
- l see, pronouns are your weak point
- That's right
281
00:15:56,563 --> 00:15:57,791
l'll keep this
282
00:15:58,603 --> 00:16:00,957
What other little tricks
have you been up to Ali?
283
00:16:01,082 --> 00:16:03,676
You're very quiet, are you
keeping something under your hat?
284
00:16:07,002 --> 00:16:10,198
Oh blimey, how are you guessing that?
285
00:16:12,521 --> 00:16:13,397
l didn't!
286
00:16:13,961 --> 00:16:17,636
And while l'm thinking of it, Taro
would you like to stand up please?
287
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:22,834
Very ingenious!
288
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:30,430
- Now Juan, where's your little crib hidden?
- Por favore?
289
00:16:31,639 --> 00:16:35,029
Never mind "por favore"! l know it's
somewhere, it's written all over your face
290
00:16:35,159 --> 00:16:38,275
Nah, no write in my face
291
00:16:39,478 --> 00:16:41,196
This is no laughing matter
292
00:16:41,318 --> 00:16:44,867
- Come on Juan, where is it?
- Under table
293
00:16:50,997 --> 00:16:54,626
- Ranjeet
- A thousand apologies
294
00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:04,066
Danielle, Anna, Jamila, Su Lee?
295
00:17:04,196 --> 00:17:07,187
We no cheat! Plefer to pass
exam on own melits
296
00:17:07,315 --> 00:17:09,590
l'm glad... grad to hear it
297
00:17:10,915 --> 00:17:14,623
Some last minute coaching Brown?
298
00:17:14,554 --> 00:17:17,990
- No, no l just came
in to wish them good luck
- They're going to need more than luck
299
00:17:18,114 --> 00:17:19,103
Goodbye Mr. Brown
300
00:17:19,234 --> 00:17:22,465
- Listen, l'm sorry about yesterday
- Goodbye Mr. Brown
301
00:17:22,594 --> 00:17:24,788
Goodbye! Good luck
302
00:17:27,033 --> 00:17:31,424
Now l want absolute silence during
this examination, understand?
303
00:17:31,553 --> 00:17:33,907
- Same again!
- Don't you think you've had enough?
304
00:17:34,032 --> 00:17:36,466
How can l have had enough?
l'm still standing
305
00:17:36,592 --> 00:17:39,982
- Yeah, you've been to the loo once
- That doesn't mean anything
305a
00:17:39,983 --> 00:17:43,470
Oh yes it does. Last
time you went to the ladies.
306
00:17:43,471 --> 00:17:45,462
You're making it up
307
00:17:47,951 --> 00:17:50,067
- Hello Sid
- Same again, thank you
308
00:17:51,430 --> 00:17:53,580
Half a bitter please Mavis and
whatever Sid's drinking
309
00:17:54,030 --> 00:17:56,419
- Sid tells me you're not married
- That's right l'm not
310
00:17:56,550 --> 00:17:59,541
- l'm not married as well
- Congratulations
311
00:18:00,349 --> 00:18:02,863
- l haven't even got a boyfriend
- Really?
312
00:18:03,629 --> 00:18:06,780
- How about you?
- l haven't got a boyfriend either
313
00:18:07,709 --> 00:18:09,107
Not a regular one anyway!
314
00:18:09,228 --> 00:18:12,061
Look, have a drink on me
alright? These are for you
315
00:18:13,588 --> 00:18:18,058
- There you go Sid! There's your pre-exam
- Pre cheer! You learned it, aint you?
316
00:18:18,187 --> 00:18:19,415
- Yeah
- Good old chap
317
00:18:19,547 --> 00:18:21,822
- How's your Lil?
- She's still living
318
00:18:23,907 --> 00:18:25,659
- You don't mean that
- Yeah
319
00:18:25,587 --> 00:18:29,659
You know when l was courting her, l used
to worship the ground she walked on
320
00:18:30,106 --> 00:18:32,666
Now l worship the ground
that is coming to her
321
00:18:34,106 --> 00:18:37,541
- That's not a very nice thing to say
- No, but it's more sincere
322
00:18:38,025 --> 00:18:41,540
- You take my tip son, you stay single
- l got no choice at the moment
323
00:18:41,665 --> 00:18:43,018
l can't afford to get married!
324
00:18:43,145 --> 00:18:45,533
- Still, l've got Josephine
- Who's Josephine?
325
00:18:45,664 --> 00:18:49,054
- ls that your bit of crumpets?
- No my siamese cat
326
00:18:50,584 --> 00:18:56,135
- My students will be all hard at it now
- Yeah, there's a lot of it about
327
00:18:58,023 --> 00:19:00,059
l was talking about their exam
328
00:19:00,183 --> 00:19:05,051
- l gonna miss them next term
- Yeah, well cheer up son
329
00:19:05,182 --> 00:19:07,491
- What you want is another drink
- What a good idea!
330
00:19:07,622 --> 00:19:09,578
Yeah, this time l'll have a pint
331
00:19:25,020 --> 00:19:26,578
A penny for them!
332
00:19:27,020 --> 00:19:29,488
l was just wondering how my students
were getting on with their exams
333
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:31,890
- l expect they'll be all right
- l hope so
334
00:19:32,019 --> 00:19:35,648
l won't know what to do with myself now
that the term's over in the evenings
335
00:19:35,579 --> 00:19:38,412
lt must get a bit lonely
for you living on your own
336
00:19:38,539 --> 00:19:40,256
l don't live on my own exactly!
l've got Josephine
337
00:19:41,418 --> 00:19:45,252
Yeah she's marvellous! l don't
know what to do without her
338
00:19:45,378 --> 00:19:48,654
She's very affectionate! Every morning
she wakes me up by nibbling in my ear
339
00:19:48,898 --> 00:19:50,296
That must be nice for you
340
00:19:50,417 --> 00:19:53,170
- l didn't allow her in the
bedroom at first - No?
341
00:19:56,617 --> 00:19:58,766
lt wasn't as clean as she might be
342
00:20:00,016 --> 00:20:01,495
She used to sleep in the bathroom
343
00:20:02,416 --> 00:20:06,534
- Well, that sounds a bit uncomfortable
- No, she was quite happy on the floor
344
00:20:07,136 --> 00:20:09,251
She must think a lot of
you to put up with that
345
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,969
She does! Every evening when I
come back home, she runs up to me
346
00:20:12,095 --> 00:20:14,404
And rubs up all against my leg
347
00:20:15,015 --> 00:20:16,334
How erotic!
348
00:20:17,534 --> 00:20:22,130
- She's Siamese
- Oh well that explains it
349
00:20:22,574 --> 00:20:26,407
The trouble is like most Siamese
she's inclined to be a bit oversexed
350
00:20:26,533 --> 00:20:29,809
- She sounds it
- l'm thinking of having her doctored
351
00:20:31,293 --> 00:20:33,648
And l thought you were
such a nice fellow
352
00:20:33,573 --> 00:20:35,085
- Pardon?
- Nevermind
353
00:20:35,212 --> 00:20:37,089
- Where is Sid?
- He's gone back to the school
354
00:20:37,212 --> 00:20:39,009
That is if he can find his way back
355
00:20:41,572 --> 00:20:45,246
- Sid
- Yes Miss Chartney
356
00:20:45,891 --> 00:20:48,485
- You reek of drink
- l beg your pardon?
357
00:20:48,891 --> 00:20:51,166
- Drink
- lf you insist
358
00:20:52,011 --> 00:20:56,447
- l'll have a drop of your sherry
- You had more than enough already
358
00:20:56,448 --> 00:20:58,447
Oh thank you
359
00:21:00,970 --> 00:21:03,164
- Have you finished?
- Yes please
360
00:21:03,289 --> 00:21:06,122
- How'd you do?
- l'm very well! How do you do?
361
00:21:07,009 --> 00:21:10,126
l mean how did you get on
with your exams?
362
00:21:10,249 --> 00:21:13,001
Oh but we hope we have
not let Mr. Brown down
363
00:21:14,528 --> 00:21:15,597
Miss Courtney!
364
00:21:15,928 --> 00:21:18,965
- Would you care for a sherry
before you go? - l'd be delighted
365
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:21,796
Do sit down!
366
00:21:23,007 --> 00:21:27,603
lt takes me back...
Here in the old office
367
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,641
l expect you miss the hurly
burly of the school life
368
00:21:30,886 --> 00:21:33,446
Yes l sleep nights now
369
00:21:34,246 --> 00:21:36,521
- There we are
- Thank you
370
00:21:36,966 --> 00:21:40,514
You know Miss Courtney,
l didn't know you indulged
371
00:21:40,645 --> 00:21:42,875
l don't really,
just an occasional sherry
372
00:21:46,005 --> 00:21:47,518
Ready for another?
373
00:21:49,604 --> 00:21:52,437
- Everyone got a drink?
- Yeah
374
00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:55,482
l just would like to say
l wish you all every success
375
00:21:55,604 --> 00:21:58,356
lt's been great teaching
you and l shall miss you
376
00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:02,037
You have been giving
us much wisdom
377
00:22:02,963 --> 00:22:04,954
l am so sad
378
00:22:07,362 --> 00:22:10,638
- You are a vonderful teacher
- Si, si
379
00:22:10,882 --> 00:22:13,874
- We never forget our English teacher
- Yes
380
00:22:17,201 --> 00:22:20,113
You are the nicest
impelionist l have met
381
00:22:21,121 --> 00:22:23,874
Professori, lt's been a real pleasure
382
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:28,557
Si, si. It won't be
the same next time
383
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:30,951
We owe you big debt-o
384
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,318
Well cheers!
385
00:22:33,439 --> 00:22:35,191
- Cheers
- Good health
386
00:22:37,919 --> 00:22:42,594
- l really must be going!
l'm meeting my wife
- Just one moment before you go Mr. Short
387
00:22:42,518 --> 00:22:45,476
How do you think the foreign
students got on with their exams?
388
00:22:45,598 --> 00:22:46,587
Terrible!
389
00:22:46,878 --> 00:22:48,436
How do you think you got
on with your exams?
390
00:22:48,558 --> 00:22:49,877
Fantastic!
391
00:22:50,558 --> 00:22:52,468
The answer to the question:
"What is a sentence?"
392
00:22:52,597 --> 00:22:54,906
The chappie in the turban answered
393
00:22:55,037 --> 00:22:57,915
"A sentence is what you
get when you are sent to prison"
394
00:22:59,677 --> 00:23:02,907
The questions were being
very easy to answer
395
00:23:03,356 --> 00:23:06,587
To the question:
"What is the past participle of I write?"
396
00:23:06,516 --> 00:23:10,588
The Spanish fellow answered,
"l have wrotten"
397
00:23:11,995 --> 00:23:15,032
l answer everyting OK
398
00:23:15,555 --> 00:23:18,945
The chinese lady was writing backwards
399
00:23:19,634 --> 00:23:23,309
Of course, l don't know how
they answered the other questions
400
00:23:23,434 --> 00:23:28,507
But if what l saw is anything
to go by, then l shall be very
surprised if any of them pass
401
00:23:28,633 --> 00:23:30,908
Goodbye Miss Courtney
402
00:23:31,033 --> 00:23:34,150
l'm very proud of you all!
l know you wouldn't let me down!
403
00:23:35,433 --> 00:23:38,105
- Shall we have another drink?
- Yes
404
00:23:38,232 --> 00:23:40,462
- Whose round is it?
- Yours
405
00:23:44,512 --> 00:23:47,503
Waiter! Oh dear
406
00:23:48,231 --> 00:23:50,745
- What are you doing with my wife?
- Nothing, l just...
407
00:23:52,591 --> 00:23:55,866
- You stupid fool
- l'm terribly sorry
408
00:23:55,990 --> 00:23:59,949
- Let me buy you both a drink
- No, no, no please, please
409
00:24:00,070 --> 00:24:02,459
Have this one on me!34205
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