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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:06,006 (grand orchestral fanfare playing) 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:28,195 -Action. -Design. 5 00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,530 (tires squealing) 6 00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:35,702 ♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪ 7 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,665 ♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪ 8 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:43,085 ("A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives playing) 9 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:49,591 ♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪ 10 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:52,886 ♪ It's the best time of the year ♪ 11 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:57,432 ♪ I don't know if there'll be snow ♪ 12 00:00:57,432 --> 00:01:00,102 ♪ But have a cup of cheer ♪ 13 00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:03,397 ♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪ 14 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,191 ♪ And when you walk down the street... ♪ 15 00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:10,320 -(belches) - Another one? 16 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:14,324 Well, I'm still vertical, so I'd like to change that. 17 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:17,577 ♪ Oh, ho, the mistletoe ♪ 18 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:20,247 ♪ Hung where you can see ♪ 19 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,333 ♪ Somebody waits for you... ♪ 20 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,585 (chuckling): Ho, ho. 21 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,087 (gags) 22 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,339 MAN: Bitter. Pint. 23 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,134 You just get off? 24 00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:34,761 ♪ And in case you didn't hear ♪ 25 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,222 ♪ Oh, by golly, have a holly... ♪ 26 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:39,141 I'm taking a break. 27 00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:41,310 Between shifts, I guess you could say. 28 00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:42,894 - MAN: Hmm. - You ain't driving, are you? 29 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:45,939 I steer a little, but the reindeer do most of the work. 30 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,859 (laughter) 31 00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:50,277 Mm-hmm. 32 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,487 This is my, uh, fourth year as a Santa. 33 00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:53,780 Ah. 34 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,032 How about you? 35 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,117 Lost count. 36 00:01:57,117 --> 00:02:00,287 I forget why I started doing it in the first place. 37 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:03,582 Same reason anybody does anything. 38 00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,375 The money. 39 00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:08,045 (chuckling): Money. Money. 40 00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:10,047 This whole planet runs on greed. 41 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,757 (crunching) 42 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:14,718 (grunts, sighs) 43 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:17,179 MAN: It's the look on the kiddies' faces, innit? 44 00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:18,805 That's what does it for me. 45 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:22,476 - Ah, the look. Yeah, that look. -(man chuckles) 46 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,686 Lasts about two seconds. 47 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:27,105 As soon as they're finished unwrapping, 48 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,566 they want the next present, 49 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:32,319 they want the next cool thing. 50 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,321 That's how this world works. 51 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,365 And kids-- what kids have become. 52 00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:40,535 They're just like little junkies. 53 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,205 They're little shits. They just demand. 54 00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:44,748 They don't believe. 55 00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:48,460 They just want, crave, consume. 56 00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:50,545 (sighs softly) 57 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,967 Maybe this is my last year. 58 00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,053 ♪ ♪ 59 00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:00,222 The last Christmas. 60 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:07,312 Well, I can't stand seeing another Santa in distress. 61 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,480 (belches) 62 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,107 Put his drinks on my tab. 63 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,566 - Okay? - Yeah. 64 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:14,194 Oh, very merry of you. Okay. 65 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,613 I better get going. 66 00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:18,824 Presents aren't gonna deliver themselves. 67 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:19,991 (laughter) 68 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:21,868 Oh, uh... 69 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,745 For your grandson. Save me a trip. 70 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,789 It's, uh, that new video game. 71 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:28,500 It's Astro Blaster, Blaster Astro. 72 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,502 I-I don't know. 73 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:31,878 Merry Christmas. (belches) 74 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:34,381 How'd he know my grandson's name? 75 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:37,592 - How'd he know I have a grandson? -(door opens) 76 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:41,888 Oi! That door leads to the roof. 77 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,223 Piss head. 78 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,767 Go easy on him. It's Christmas. 79 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:51,314 Hey! You can't be up here. 80 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:54,985 If you break your neck, I'm the one... 81 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:57,487 (panting) 82 00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:09,291 ♪ ♪ 83 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:11,334 (sleigh bells jingling) 84 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,838 (sighs) 85 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:17,257 My God. 86 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,097 It's... 87 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,141 (retching) 88 00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:27,601 ...beauti... 89 00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:31,855 (gasping) 90 00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,899 ♪ ♪ 91 00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:39,404 ("Deck the Halls" playing) 92 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,458 (music ends) 93 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,132 (dog barking nearby) 94 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,842 (sighs) 95 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,719 (rummaging) 96 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,847 (vehicle approaches, horn honks) 97 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,394 (bells jingling) 98 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,650 Hi. Hi, hi, hi. 99 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,985 There she is. Hello, muffin. 100 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,322 Let's go see Grandma. 101 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,492 Ooh. 102 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,744 Merry Christmas. 103 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,665 Merry Christmas, Trudy. 104 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,749 Merry... 105 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,501 Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah! 106 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,921 Merry Christmas, Daddy, ya filthy animal. 107 00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:39,339 (Trudy chuckling) 108 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,508 She got to stay up late and watch Home Alone. 109 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,592 Uh-huh. 110 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,512 It was so funny. (screams) 111 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,973 - Yep. - That... that hurts. 112 00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,516 - All morning. - Okay, um... 113 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,560 Thank you. 114 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,479 For doing this. 115 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,690 I'm not doing it for you. 116 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,485 - It's Christmas! - Yeah! 117 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,696 ♪ ♪ 118 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,381 Merry Christmas, Al. 119 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,216 Hi, Linda. Merry Christmas. 120 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,260 - Mr. Lightstone. - Hey, Al. 121 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:26,636 Hey, you back there, Tru? 122 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,388 Yeah, I bet you're excited for Christmas. 123 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,098 What did you ask Santa for? 124 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,850 - Not to work on Christmas Eve. -(laughs) 125 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,435 Must've been naughty this year, 126 00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:35,061 -'cause here I am. - Mm-hmm. 127 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,063 Just make sure you let Santa through the gates later, Al. 128 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,607 - Yeah. - Have a merry one, now. 129 00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:40,609 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, Al. 130 00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,652 Merry Christmas, Tru. 131 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,195 -(laughs) Thank you, Al. - Yeah. 132 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:46,406 ♪ ♪ 133 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,757 ♪ ♪ 134 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,010 (busy chatter) 135 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:09,763 MAN: I can't remember where the second one is. 136 00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:14,934 MALE VOICE (recorded): Ho, ho, ho, ho. 137 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,686 Merry Christmas. 138 00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,772 Hope you're on the nice list. 139 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,524 WOMAN: That doesn't go over there. 140 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,777 (chatter continues indistinctly) 141 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,909 WOMAN: Excuse me. 142 00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:33,119 (chatter continues indistinctly) 143 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,956 What the hell is this? 144 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,334 You are the worst catering company on the planet. 145 00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:41,336 It's lengthwise, not width. 146 00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,213 Unbelievable. 147 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:45,465 ♪ ♪ 148 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,556 (watch beeps) 149 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:00,814 Okay. 150 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,024 Hi. Hi, guys. Merry Christmas. 151 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,984 - Hi. - I'm fine. Thank you so much. 152 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:07,570 ("The Twelve Days of Christmas" playing) 153 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:11,574 I'll never get over the fact that you grew up like this. 154 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:15,161 My therapist says I'll never get over it, either. 155 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,372 I need a drink. 156 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,832 ♪ Two turtledoves ♪ 157 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,918 ♪ And a partridge in a pear tree... ♪ 158 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:25,171 -(whistle tooting) - Hey, look at that. 159 00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:35,932 Hi, Linda. 160 00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,976 -(chuckling): Hey. - How's it going, Alva? 161 00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:39,894 Mm-hmm. You gained weight. 162 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,772 -(coughing) - Looks good on you, though. 163 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,691 - Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 164 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,401 'Sup, limp dick? 165 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:47,861 (sighs) 166 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,529 I got great feelings about this Christmas. 167 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,698 - You want to know why? - Yeah. 168 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,700 'Cause I think this is the year 169 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,493 that Mom's gonna kick herself upstairs 170 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:58,204 and choose one of us to start running the show. 171 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:02,709 And I got to tell you, Jason, that I'm gunning for your ass. 172 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,127 (clicks tongue) 173 00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,920 What would a Lightstone family Christmas be 174 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,714 without groveling and infighting? 175 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,048 (Alva chuckling) 176 00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:10,759 SERVER: Your rosé, ma'am. 177 00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:13,511 Honey, smile. It's Christmas. 178 00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:14,637 Mm. 179 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,222 Good. Good girl. 180 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,766 (chuckles) 181 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,728 I am sorry about my sister. 182 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:24,230 ♪ Making spirits bright ♪ 183 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:27,108 ♪ What fun it is to ride and sing... ♪ 184 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:29,569 It is really nice to see you. 185 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,698 To have you here. 186 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:36,951 ♪ Jingle all the way... ♪ 187 00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:40,413 Okay, I'm behind. Catch me up on all the hot goss. 188 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,248 Hot goss. Okay. 189 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:46,044 Um, well, you remember Bert, my sister's pride and joy. 190 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:49,881 Yo, yo, yo. This is the Bert Locker 191 00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:53,760 living that bling life on Christmas Eve. 192 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,345 (laughs, inhales sharply) 193 00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:56,763 Hashtag "blessed." 194 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,307 He just got what I can only assume 195 00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:02,602 will be his first of many sexual harassment accusations. 196 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,270 Mom paid off the school, 197 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,439 and now the gymnasium is named after us. 198 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,441 Of course she did. 199 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,567 What about Tragic Mike? 200 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,361 All I'm saying is, 201 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,029 if I was on one of those planes, 202 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,031 9/11 would've ended with a bunch of terrorists 203 00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:18,785 skydiving over Connecticut without their parachutes. 204 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,829 -(grunts) Yeah. You like that? - ALVA: Yes. Yes. 205 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:23,039 - Yeah, I do like it. - Ooh. 206 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,458 - Kiss me in front of my son. - Now, huh? 207 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:28,002 - Mm... -(Alva chuckles) 208 00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,046 He might actually be a decent actor. 209 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,131 - Hmm. -He's been doing an Oscar-worthy job 210 00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,717 - of pretending to find my sister appealing. -(laughs) 211 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:37,220 Now he wants Mom to fund a film for him. 212 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,638 (laughing) 213 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,139 (indistinct chatter) 214 00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:42,141 - MORGAN: It's Gertrude! - It's Mom. 215 00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,185 - Okay, let's do this. - Okay, okay. Come on. 216 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,895 - Come on. Bert, get over here. - No. Mom. Mom! 217 00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,146 - Positions. - Game time, buddy. 218 00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,982 - Okay. Okay. - This is my good side. 219 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,775 - BERT: I'm busy. -ALVA: We've gone over this! Come on! 220 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:51,901 MORGAN: Gosh. Okay. 221 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,069 ALVA: Bert, get in the middle. 222 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,320 (sighs): So it begins. 223 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,447 Seriously, come. You know what that means. 224 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,533 Shall we jockey forward? 225 00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,285 No. 226 00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:04,038 No, we can hang back. 227 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,498 Yeah. 228 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,125 Trudy, honey? 229 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,086 Come on over here. 230 00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,546 -(growls playfully) -(Trudy chuckles) 231 00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,715 Just, like... 232 00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,508 GERTRUDE: Threaten 'em or bribe 'em. 233 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,801 This isn't rocket science. 234 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,344 Same shit we always do. 235 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,180 That's what? 236 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:23,641 That's the best you can do? 237 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,518 Excited to see your grandma? 238 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,853 Listen, you cocksucker. 239 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,813 It's Christmas, so why don't you take 240 00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,732 your best offer, gift wrap it, 241 00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:33,693 and ram it up your fucking box. 242 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,028 (Alva clears throat) 243 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,363 GERTRUDE: Maybe you don't realize who I am. 244 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,948 Those were Grandma words. You know, forget them. 245 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,783 ALVA: Oh, boy. Look at Mr. Cool back here. 246 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,036 Yeah, what's your angle, man? Hmm? 247 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,663 No angle. I'm not doing anything. 248 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,123 (scoffing): Oh, yeah. 249 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,708 GERTRUDE: No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No! 250 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,753 Don't shit in my mouth and tell me it's chocolate cake. 251 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,046 (chuckles) Grandma's cool. 252 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,340 GERTRUDE: I can make that story go away... 253 00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,050 I think your brother's up to something. 254 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,843 No, I just decided to let you guys 255 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,720 have all the fun sucking up to Mom today. 256 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,514 Please. You are King Suck-up. 257 00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:05,558 You named your kid Gertrude. 258 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:06,935 (Linda scoffs) 259 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,228 Alva, you named your son Bertrude. 260 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,230 Okay. 261 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,941 Sorry, Bert, but that's not a real name. 262 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:15,777 Sorry, Linda. We can't all be lucky enough to have daughters. 263 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,779 Mom, I can hear you. 264 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:21,491 You know something we don't. What is it? 265 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:22,951 No, I don't. I don't. 266 00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:24,202 I got it. Bingo. 267 00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:25,620 I'm onto you, man. Come on! 268 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,246 - We were just... - MORGAN: Come on, 269 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,498 come on, come on, come on. 270 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,792 - GERTRUDE: You big sack of shit. - Ooh. 271 00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,627 No wonder your husband left you. 272 00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,879 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 273 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,257 Merry Christmas to you, too, Senator. 274 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,885 - Merry Christmas, Mommy. - Merry Christmas. 275 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,220 (chuckling) 276 00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:43,763 LINDA: Merry Christmas. 277 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,516 Why in the hell are you standing all the way back there? 278 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,352 Merry Christmas, Grandma! 279 00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:51,437 - GERTRUDE: Aw. - Little bitch. 280 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,982 Little Gertrude. And how is my favorite granddaughter? 281 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:56,526 Everybody calls me Trudy now. 282 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,194 Trudy? 283 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,656 - Well, that makes her sound like a whore. -Okay. 284 00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:04,409 Oh, she doesn't even know the meaning of the word. 285 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,744 I'm starving. Let's eat. 286 00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,204 ALVA: Great. 287 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,707 And, Mom, I think Gertrude is a beautiful name. 288 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,001 Mm-hmm. I only call her Gertrude. 289 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,293 - Merry Christmas, Gertrude. - Come on, Bertrude. 290 00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:18,047 ♪ When the kids are fast asleep ♪ 291 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,717 ♪ Gently down the stairs we'll creep ♪ 292 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,343 (swallows, gags) 293 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:25,221 ♪ Then we'll lock and bolt all the doors ♪ 294 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,850 ♪ Just you and me and Santa Claus ♪ 295 00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,309 (groans) 296 00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:33,146 ♪ We'll be as quiet as quiet can be ♪ 297 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:36,441 ♪ Planting toys under the tree ♪ 298 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:40,236 ♪ We'll be crawling around on all fours ♪ 299 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,030 ♪ Just you and me ♪ 300 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:44,657 -♪ And Santa Claus ♪ -(belching) 301 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,284 (whooping) 302 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,327 ♪ ♪ 303 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,999 ♪ For soon will be ♪ 304 00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:55,668 -♪ That magic time ♪ -(scoffs) 305 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,337 ♪ When we hear that midnight chime ♪ 306 00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:00,131 -(wind whistling) -(urine splattering) 307 00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:01,841 -♪ When that flying sleigh ♪ -(grunts) 308 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,135 ♪ Finally flies away ♪ 309 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:07,346 ♪ We'll have a very merry Christmas Day ♪ 310 00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:11,851 ♪ We'll raise a toast to the team with the most ♪ 311 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:15,188 ♪ The best there ever was ♪ 312 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:19,192 ♪ You and me and Santa Claus... ♪ 313 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,028 Another fucking Christmas. 314 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,364 (song ends) 315 00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,116 TRUDY: I made these all by myself. 316 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,701 - JASON: No way. - LINDA: Mm-hmm. 317 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,870 TRUDY: I even made one that looks exactly like Santa. 318 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,372 - Exactly. - JASON (laughs): Yeah. 319 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,750 Santa gets a candy cane, too? 320 00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,001 Yeah. 321 00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,503 Mm, okay. 322 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,547 It's perfect. 323 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,216 No peeking. 324 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,676 This house has so many chimneys. 325 00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,178 (Linda chuckles) 326 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,222 How will Santa know which one to come down? 327 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,099 Oh, Santa just knows. 328 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,892 Christmas magic. 329 00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,563 Honey, what's wrong? 330 00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:01,067 Daddy never took me to see Santa at the mall this year. 331 00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,070 LINDA: He didn't. 332 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:08,449 I am so sorry. 333 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,203 This year has been weird. 334 00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:15,915 I never got to tell Santa what I wanted for Christmas. 335 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,417 Oh, honey. Come here. 336 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,715 You know what? 337 00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:28,928 You go put your pj's on, 338 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:32,014 and I will be two minutes. 339 00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:35,935 ♪ ♪ 340 00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:40,106 (hushed): Yes! 341 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,985 Okay... 342 00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:47,071 (muttering) 343 00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,619 (sighs): Yes. 344 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,621 (paper rustling) 345 00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,292 Yes! 346 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:05,173 Because you have been so good to me and Mommy this year, 347 00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:09,135 we decided that you could have one gift... 348 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,012 (gasps) early! 349 00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:13,472 - Really? -(Jason chuckling) 350 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,604 What is it? 351 00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:25,109 That is a very special walkie-talkie. 352 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,652 It's magic. 353 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:27,945 - Magic? - Mm-hmm. 354 00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:30,156 What you got right there 355 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,533 is a direct hotline to Santa Claus himself. 356 00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:35,286 - I can talk to Santa? - Oh, yeah. 357 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:39,123 It's just like writing him a letter... but better. 358 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,249 Mm-hmm. 359 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:43,044 Now, the only thing is, 360 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:45,421 he might not have time to answer you. 361 00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:47,465 He's delivering a lot of presents tonight. 362 00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:48,799 Mm-hmm. 363 00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:51,385 But he'll hear everything you want to say to him. 364 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,850 (beeps, crackles) 365 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,685 Hello, Santa? 366 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:03,147 This is Trudy Lightstone. 367 00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,191 I hope you're having a nice night. 368 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,360 JASON: Mm. (kissing rapidly) 369 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:12,114 It's really cold tonight, so don't forget your mittens. 370 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:16,244 So, I wanted to tell you, Santa, 371 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:18,037 I was extra good this year, 372 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:22,208 so I wrote a big list for you with all the stuff I wanted. 373 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,419 But then... 374 00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:28,839 then I realized I don't need any of that. 375 00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:33,469 I really only want one present for Christmas. 376 00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:38,808 I want Mommy and Daddy to make up 377 00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:41,227 so we can be a family again. 378 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,105 Okay. 379 00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,274 Good night, Santa. 380 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,568 Good night, Mr. Bunny. 381 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:56,200 (sighs) 382 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,661 (footsteps squishing) 383 00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:01,122 (groans) 384 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,749 Which one of you did that? 385 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,084 (reindeer grunting) 386 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,419 You can't go two seconds without 387 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,254 crapping on the roof like a bunch of pigeons? 388 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,964 (huffing) 389 00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:13,092 So unprofessional. 390 00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:15,678 (sighs) 391 00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:18,389 You know, Rudolph will never do this crap. 392 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:22,143 -(jingling) -(whooshing) 393 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,104 (sighs, grunts) 394 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,315 ♪ ♪ 395 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,279 Hmm. 396 00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:39,368 Mmm. 397 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:46,042 (chuckling) 398 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,294 Mmm, mmm. 399 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,630 Homemade. 400 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,007 Mmm. 401 00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:54,759 (slurps) 402 00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:58,846 Ugh. 403 00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,431 Skim. 404 00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,276 Oh, yeah. 405 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:14,403 That's the stuff. 406 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,743 Mmm. 407 00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:23,496 DuBoi... 408 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,499 - On some prewar shit right there. -(cork pops) 409 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,918 - Good shit. -(cork clatters on floor) 410 00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:35,633 ("We Wish You a Merry Christmas" melody plays) 411 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,513 (melody ends) 412 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,181 (exhales sharply) Mmm. 413 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,849 That pairs well. 414 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,519 What do we have here? 415 00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:50,523 (sighing) 416 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,617 (chair vibrating) 417 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,453 Oh, yeah. 418 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:06,539 That's the stuff. 419 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,377 (slurping) 420 00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:18,551 - You know, uh... -(sighs) 421 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,554 Christmas is all right, 422 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:25,224 but you Americans don't celebrate my favorite holiday. 423 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,893 Oh, yeah? What? 424 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,520 Boxing Day. 425 00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,898 (glass shatters) 426 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,942 ♪ ♪ 427 00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,949 (watch beeping) 428 00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,993 (chiming) 429 00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:51,667 (watches chiming) 430 00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:58,424 (watch chiming) 431 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,430 Yo, yo. B. Lightstone here, 432 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,223 live streaming the dream, you know. 433 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,767 They say the richest man... 434 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,562 Say goodbye. 435 00:21:11,562 --> 00:21:13,522 And if you... 436 00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:17,693 Grandma! Your Wi-Fi sucks dick. 437 00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:19,361 Damn it! 438 00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:21,947 When he was small, I begged you to beat him. 439 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,908 (gasps softly) 440 00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:41,425 Hey. Merry Christmas. 441 00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:43,093 Or should I say "happy holidays" now? 442 00:21:43,093 --> 00:21:45,137 Right? I mean, it's like, people, make up your minds. 443 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:47,389 - You know what I'm saying? - Can I help you? 444 00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:49,350 Oh, yeah. I sure hope so. See, uh, 445 00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:50,976 my car broke down a little ways... 446 00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:52,811 Out here? This is a private road. 447 00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:54,813 You're telling me. (chuckles) 448 00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:57,107 It's the first place I've seen for miles. 449 00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:58,400 I think I got frostbite. 450 00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,735 Where the hell am I, anyway? 451 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:01,487 G.T. Lightstone family compound. 452 00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:03,322 I'll call you a tow. 453 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,660 -(silenced gunshot) -(grunts) 454 00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:12,373 ♪ ♪ 455 00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:14,375 All right, revelers. 456 00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:16,168 (over earpiece): Time to steal Christmas. 457 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:17,419 Sound off. 458 00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:19,004 Jingle. Check. 459 00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:20,589 Peppermint. Check. 460 00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:22,174 Sugarplum. Check. 461 00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:25,135 Krampus. Ready to fuck shit up. 462 00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:26,929 Candy Cane. Check. 463 00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:29,557 - Go for Frosty. - Go for Tinsel. 464 00:22:29,557 --> 00:22:31,267 Go for Gingerbread. 465 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:34,228 Are we gonna use these stupid code names all night? 466 00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:35,729 (over earpiece): 'Tis the season. 467 00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:39,525 Welcome to your worst Christmas ever. 468 00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:42,903 Trudy loves seeing Santa at the mall. 469 00:22:43,737 --> 00:22:45,531 She loves going with her father. 470 00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:47,199 And you should've taken her yesterday, 471 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:48,576 like you do every Christmas, 472 00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:50,286 but we didn't even hear from you. 473 00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:51,620 Mom put me on a special project. 474 00:22:51,620 --> 00:22:53,038 - It's complicated. - But it's not, 475 00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:55,124 because it keeps happening over and over. 476 00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:57,710 - Your mother forcing herself between us. -You're right. 477 00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:01,463 ♪ ♪ 478 00:23:02,298 --> 00:23:04,675 What if we could give Trudy her Christmas wish? 479 00:23:04,675 --> 00:23:06,760 (scoffs) You're trying to win me back 480 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,430 with a romantic weekend at your mother's? 481 00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:12,766 What if things really changed this time? 482 00:23:14,518 --> 00:23:16,979 We got out from under my mother's thumb. 483 00:23:16,979 --> 00:23:18,772 We'll walk away. 484 00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:21,483 From the company, the family. 485 00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:25,821 Tonight. 486 00:23:26,614 --> 00:23:28,157 What are you up to? 487 00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:31,410 (distant gunfire) 488 00:23:32,661 --> 00:23:34,622 -(rapid gunfire) -(grunts) 489 00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:39,627 (chair vibrating) 490 00:23:39,627 --> 00:23:41,795 -(distant gunfire) -(snorts) 491 00:23:45,716 --> 00:23:47,259 (vibrating stops) 492 00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:48,886 (gunfire continues) 493 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,809 (groaning) 494 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:04,902 (gunfire continues) 495 00:24:04,902 --> 00:24:07,446 (grunting) 496 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:09,615 (panting quietly) 497 00:24:09,615 --> 00:24:11,784 (whimpering) 498 00:24:11,784 --> 00:24:13,452 -(Candy Cane yells) -(grunts) 499 00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:14,745 Let's go. 500 00:24:14,745 --> 00:24:17,247 We need to get you out of here. 501 00:24:17,247 --> 00:24:18,999 Mommy, where are you going? 502 00:24:18,999 --> 00:24:20,793 - She's going for the panic room! - What? 503 00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:22,127 - Yes. Go, Bertrude. - Without us? 504 00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,797 -(gunfire continues) -(groaning) 505 00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:28,092 (grunts) 506 00:24:28,092 --> 00:24:30,135 ALVA: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 507 00:24:39,019 --> 00:24:40,688 (gunfire) 508 00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:53,784 GERTRUDE: There isn't room for all of us. 509 00:24:53,784 --> 00:24:55,536 She can fit at least two of us. Mom, take me. 510 00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:57,496 - Mom! (stammers) - Oh. Yeah. 511 00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:59,123 M-Mom, can Bert come, too? 512 00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:01,792 -(device beeps) -(whirring) 513 00:25:01,792 --> 00:25:03,043 Okay. Move it or lose it, son. 514 00:25:03,043 --> 00:25:04,753 - Move it! - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 515 00:25:04,753 --> 00:25:06,880 You're supposed to protect us. 516 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,549 We protect the primary asset. 517 00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:13,721 Who the hell are you? 518 00:25:13,721 --> 00:25:16,682 You can call me Mr. Scrooge. 519 00:25:17,433 --> 00:25:18,851 Hilarious. 520 00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:20,185 Get him. 521 00:25:20,811 --> 00:25:22,855 (grunting and groaning) 522 00:25:28,736 --> 00:25:31,155 Bah humbug, motherfucker. 523 00:25:34,491 --> 00:25:36,702 ♪ ♪ 524 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,791 SCROOGE: Hey. Step aside. 525 00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:46,545 Tinsel, Peppermint, sweep upstairs. 526 00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:48,756 I want all the Lightstones together. 527 00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:51,258 Kill anybody else you find. 528 00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:59,057 (panting, whimpering) 529 00:26:01,435 --> 00:26:04,229 Fuck. Fuck, fuck. 530 00:26:05,063 --> 00:26:07,608 LINDA: Trudy, honey, we got to go. 531 00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:10,110 JASON: Wake up, honey. Wake up. 532 00:26:10,110 --> 00:26:12,905 Maybe we can get out the back by the servants' stairs. 533 00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:17,910 (gasps) 534 00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:19,745 (crackles, whistles) 535 00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:22,247 Oh, come on. Not now. Not now. 536 00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:23,373 (crackles, whistles) 537 00:26:23,373 --> 00:26:25,375 Fuck! Fuck! 538 00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:26,919 Mistletoe, gingerbread. 539 00:26:26,919 --> 00:26:29,046 (crackles, whistles) 540 00:26:31,256 --> 00:26:33,008 (gasps) 541 00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:43,018 (banging) 542 00:26:51,109 --> 00:26:52,194 Hey! 543 00:26:52,194 --> 00:26:53,904 (jingling) 544 00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:56,281 Oh. Oh. 545 00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:57,741 (chuckling): Hi. 546 00:26:57,741 --> 00:27:00,202 You got me. 547 00:27:00,202 --> 00:27:02,788 I don't want any trouble, okay? 548 00:27:02,788 --> 00:27:04,498 Downstairs. Now. 549 00:27:04,498 --> 00:27:08,168 Look, mister, I don't want to get involved. 550 00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:10,587 I just... I just have a job to do. 551 00:27:10,587 --> 00:27:11,964 Okay? That's it. 552 00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:14,466 I'm just gonna take my bag, 553 00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:17,302 and I'm just gonna scooch up that chimney. 554 00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:18,804 (both grunt) 555 00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:20,681 Enough talk. Let's go. 556 00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,225 You don't want to do this. 557 00:27:23,225 --> 00:27:24,434 What? This? 558 00:27:24,434 --> 00:27:26,144 (both grunt) 559 00:27:26,144 --> 00:27:27,479 Now, move! 560 00:27:27,479 --> 00:27:29,481 -(groaning) - Are you deaf? 561 00:27:29,481 --> 00:27:31,483 Fucking move! 562 00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:32,734 (Tinsel gasps) 563 00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:34,945 (grunting) 564 00:27:38,407 --> 00:27:40,617 (snorting, grunting) 565 00:27:40,617 --> 00:27:42,286 (rapid hoofbeats) 566 00:27:42,286 --> 00:27:44,162 No, no, no. 567 00:27:44,162 --> 00:27:47,332 No! Wait! 568 00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:48,667 Wait. 569 00:27:48,667 --> 00:27:50,335 Wait! Don't go! 570 00:27:50,335 --> 00:27:52,212 Come back! 571 00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:57,926 (grunting) 572 00:27:59,887 --> 00:28:02,806 (both yelling) 573 00:28:02,806 --> 00:28:05,058 (grunting and groaning) 574 00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:07,436 -(sizzling) -(screaming) 575 00:28:11,565 --> 00:28:13,191 (steam hissing) 576 00:28:13,191 --> 00:28:15,360 (groaning) 577 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:17,404 (both yelling, grunting) 578 00:28:22,576 --> 00:28:24,828 (groaning) 579 00:28:29,583 --> 00:28:31,919 (crackling, whistling) 580 00:28:33,962 --> 00:28:37,049 (grunting and groaning) 581 00:28:50,354 --> 00:28:53,065 (strained grunting) 582 00:28:57,235 --> 00:28:59,404 (screaming) 583 00:29:02,574 --> 00:29:05,160 (yells) 584 00:29:07,287 --> 00:29:09,039 Oh, fuck! 585 00:29:10,415 --> 00:29:12,250 (grunts) 586 00:29:12,250 --> 00:29:15,253 (coughs, groans) 587 00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:18,799 (groaning) 588 00:29:33,146 --> 00:29:34,648 Oh, shit. 589 00:29:34,648 --> 00:29:36,900 (wind whistling) 590 00:29:42,614 --> 00:29:44,866 (frustrated grunt) 591 00:29:44,866 --> 00:29:47,452 (panting, gasping) 592 00:29:55,961 --> 00:29:59,798 Damn chickenshit reindeer leave me here to die. 593 00:30:08,223 --> 00:30:11,476 (to tune of "Silent Night"): ♪ Violent night ♪ 594 00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:14,563 ♪ Gory night ♪ 595 00:30:14,563 --> 00:30:16,732 ♪ All is calm ♪ 596 00:30:16,732 --> 00:30:20,986 ♪ If all doesn't want to get shot in the fucking head. ♪ 597 00:30:21,778 --> 00:30:23,155 GERTRUDE: Cute. 598 00:30:23,155 --> 00:30:26,283 Do you have any idea who you're fucking with? 599 00:30:28,326 --> 00:30:29,619 (groaning) 600 00:30:29,619 --> 00:30:32,497 I know exactly who I'm fucking with. 601 00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:34,624 Oh, wait, wait. Did you actually think 602 00:30:34,624 --> 00:30:36,168 that I spent months 603 00:30:36,168 --> 00:30:38,837 planning a complex break-in to the most secure 604 00:30:38,837 --> 00:30:40,464 private residence in the country 605 00:30:40,464 --> 00:30:42,215 and I didn't know who lived here? 606 00:30:42,215 --> 00:30:43,800 Well, you're wrong. 607 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,762 'Cause your staff are dead. 608 00:30:46,762 --> 00:30:48,889 - Your security are dead. -(grunts) 609 00:30:48,889 --> 00:30:52,184 Now, sit down and shut the fuck up! 610 00:30:54,019 --> 00:30:56,021 (Trudy screams) 611 00:31:00,025 --> 00:31:02,569 ♪ ♪ 612 00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:22,339 Oh, fuck. 613 00:31:25,217 --> 00:31:26,551 We planned it. It's all right. 614 00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:28,178 It'll be solved in a couple minutes. 615 00:31:28,178 --> 00:31:29,721 Better be solved. 616 00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:32,099 So much like a scene from my movie Dark Ransom. 617 00:31:32,099 --> 00:31:33,558 Oh, my God. 618 00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:36,228 If they didn't have guns, 619 00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:38,271 I could take out three, maybe four of them. 620 00:31:38,271 --> 00:31:40,398 ALVA: Try all of them. 621 00:31:40,398 --> 00:31:43,026 Ew, Mom. Yuck. 622 00:31:43,026 --> 00:31:44,820 If you'd really done your research, you'd know 623 00:31:44,820 --> 00:31:47,614 that my brother Rory was kidnapped in the '70s. 624 00:31:48,490 --> 00:31:51,118 But my father never called the police. 625 00:31:51,118 --> 00:31:53,620 Dad sent in our own private extraction team, 626 00:31:53,620 --> 00:31:57,207 and Rory was home safe and sound a week later. 627 00:31:57,207 --> 00:32:00,877 And the kidnappers were never found. 628 00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:02,963 If you get me. 629 00:32:04,506 --> 00:32:06,007 I know. 630 00:32:06,007 --> 00:32:08,718 I know all about your extraction team 631 00:32:08,718 --> 00:32:10,804 that you affectionately call "the Kill Squad" 632 00:32:10,804 --> 00:32:12,597 behind closed doors. 633 00:32:12,597 --> 00:32:14,516 I also know that they're on their way 634 00:32:14,516 --> 00:32:16,518 and how long it's gonna take 'em to get here. 635 00:32:16,518 --> 00:32:19,437 I even know their credit ratings and their dick sizes. 636 00:32:19,437 --> 00:32:21,106 If you get me. 637 00:32:21,106 --> 00:32:23,275 Then you should also know you're already dead. 638 00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:25,110 We don't do ransoms. 639 00:32:25,110 --> 00:32:27,737 Again, I know. I know. 640 00:32:27,737 --> 00:32:29,739 See, I know a lot, Gertrude. 641 00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:31,491 I really do. 642 00:32:31,491 --> 00:32:34,578 Like the fact that you have 300 million in U.S. dollars 643 00:32:34,578 --> 00:32:36,705 sitting in your personal vault downstairs. 644 00:32:36,705 --> 00:32:38,957 - The fuck? - SCROOGE: That's right. 645 00:32:38,957 --> 00:32:41,710 300 million that the U.S. government 646 00:32:41,710 --> 00:32:45,172 gave Lightstone to quietly distribute in the Middle East 647 00:32:45,172 --> 00:32:46,840 to all the worst people, 648 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:51,011 to grease the wheels and keep that sweet oil flowing. 649 00:32:51,011 --> 00:32:55,599 300 million that-- oops-- disappeared in the fog of war. 650 00:32:55,599 --> 00:32:58,810 Except it didn't really disappear, did it, Gerty? 651 00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:00,145 'Cause you stole it. 652 00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:01,730 Did you know about this? 653 00:33:01,730 --> 00:33:03,190 SCROOGE: Man, this family. 654 00:33:03,190 --> 00:33:06,359 This moneygrubbing family. 655 00:33:06,359 --> 00:33:08,236 Clinging desperately to your wealth, 656 00:33:08,236 --> 00:33:10,655 when your poor employees don't even have enough coal 657 00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:12,532 to keep Tiny Tim warm. 658 00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:15,702 What is it with you and all this Christmas shit? 659 00:33:15,702 --> 00:33:17,495 Talk all you want. 660 00:33:17,495 --> 00:33:19,331 You'll never get in the vault. 661 00:33:19,331 --> 00:33:22,834 Oh, oh, oh, because when you-you hit the panic button, 662 00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:24,502 it reset the combination? 663 00:33:24,502 --> 00:33:28,173 I keep telling you, I know. 664 00:33:29,090 --> 00:33:31,343 ♪ ♪ 665 00:33:32,969 --> 00:33:35,847 SCROOGE: This is what breaking into a vault has turned into? 666 00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:40,518 Remember when you just had to drill holes and blow shit up? 667 00:33:40,518 --> 00:33:42,187 I don't know, maybe I'm getting old, 668 00:33:42,187 --> 00:33:43,688 but there was something romantic about that. 669 00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:45,941 CANDY CANE (over radio): Boss, you copy? 670 00:33:45,941 --> 00:33:47,901 I'm kind of busy here. 671 00:33:47,901 --> 00:33:50,362 You're gonna want to see this. 672 00:33:59,704 --> 00:34:01,373 Maybe he fell. 673 00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:02,791 You rappel down buildings with him. 674 00:34:02,791 --> 00:34:05,210 You gonna tell me he just fell out a window? 675 00:34:06,044 --> 00:34:08,046 All right, look lively, gang. 676 00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:09,798 We got a gopher. 677 00:34:25,230 --> 00:34:26,731 LINDA: You know what? 678 00:34:26,731 --> 00:34:30,902 Um, I think Mr. Bunny wants to go to sleep. 679 00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:32,904 So, let's tuck him in. 680 00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:34,531 Okay? 681 00:34:35,699 --> 00:34:37,409 It's gonna be okay. 682 00:34:39,577 --> 00:34:41,621 ♪ ♪ 683 00:34:51,298 --> 00:34:53,842 Hello? Santa? 684 00:34:53,842 --> 00:34:55,802 Are you there? 685 00:34:57,512 --> 00:34:59,556 (panting) 686 00:35:01,641 --> 00:35:03,393 Shit. 687 00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:07,522 (radio crackles) 688 00:35:07,522 --> 00:35:10,150 (over radio): This is Candy Cane at checkpoint three. 689 00:35:10,150 --> 00:35:11,860 (gasps) Oh, shit. 690 00:35:11,860 --> 00:35:13,653 Shit. Shit. Shit. 691 00:35:13,653 --> 00:35:15,697 (panting) 692 00:35:16,823 --> 00:35:18,742 Video game. 693 00:35:19,909 --> 00:35:21,244 Video game. 694 00:35:21,244 --> 00:35:23,455 Didn't anybody ask for a bat or a sword 695 00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:26,583 - or Molotov cocktails? -(door opens) 696 00:35:35,091 --> 00:35:36,801 (whispers): Wait. 697 00:35:43,224 --> 00:35:45,477 ♪ ♪ 698 00:35:49,939 --> 00:35:51,566 (grunts) 699 00:35:51,566 --> 00:35:53,234 CHILD'S VOICE (recorded): Mommy, I love you. 700 00:35:53,234 --> 00:35:54,778 ("¿Dónde Está Santa Claus?" by Toni Stante playing) 701 00:35:54,778 --> 00:35:56,654 Poetry book. 702 00:35:56,654 --> 00:35:59,115 Die Hard on Blu-ray. Fuck! 703 00:35:59,115 --> 00:36:00,700 (grunting) 704 00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:04,329 -♪ Mamacita ♪ -♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 705 00:36:04,329 --> 00:36:06,998 -♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪ -♪ Mamacita ♪ 706 00:36:06,998 --> 00:36:09,125 -(grunts, chokes) -♪ Ah-ooh ♪ 707 00:36:09,125 --> 00:36:11,669 -♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪ -♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh... ♪ 708 00:36:11,669 --> 00:36:13,254 -(grunts) -(gun clicks) 709 00:36:13,254 --> 00:36:15,215 Safety's on, dipshit. 710 00:36:15,215 --> 00:36:16,841 (grunting continues) 711 00:36:16,841 --> 00:36:20,220 -♪ Mamacita ♪ -♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 712 00:36:20,220 --> 00:36:22,597 ♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪ 713 00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:24,224 ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 714 00:36:24,224 --> 00:36:26,017 ♪ I look for him because ♪ 715 00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:27,977 Wait. Hang on. Hang on. 716 00:36:27,977 --> 00:36:29,354 ♪ It's Christmas Eve... ♪ 717 00:36:29,354 --> 00:36:31,940 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Look. 718 00:36:31,940 --> 00:36:33,358 I don't want to kill you. 719 00:36:33,358 --> 00:36:34,818 (chuckles) 720 00:36:34,818 --> 00:36:37,320 (laughing) 721 00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:41,116 Wow, a big fat guy, gray beard. 722 00:36:41,116 --> 00:36:43,201 Eh? 723 00:36:43,743 --> 00:36:45,787 Santa... 724 00:36:45,787 --> 00:36:47,831 I'm gonna rip your fucking balls off. 725 00:36:47,831 --> 00:36:50,625 (both yelling) 726 00:36:50,625 --> 00:36:52,127 (grunting with effort) 727 00:36:52,127 --> 00:36:55,171 ♪ I hope he won't forget to crack his castanets ♪ 728 00:36:55,171 --> 00:36:58,716 ♪ And to his reindeer say ♪ 729 00:36:58,716 --> 00:37:01,302 ♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen, oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen..." ♪ 730 00:37:01,302 --> 00:37:03,221 Oh, shit. (grunts) 731 00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:04,556 (pained grunting) 732 00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:06,266 (machine beeping) 733 00:37:06,266 --> 00:37:08,893 -♪ Mamacita ♪ -♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 734 00:37:08,893 --> 00:37:11,229 ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪ 735 00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:12,856 (screams) 736 00:37:12,856 --> 00:37:15,733 ♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪ 737 00:37:15,733 --> 00:37:17,527 ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 738 00:37:17,527 --> 00:37:19,279 ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪ 739 00:37:19,279 --> 00:37:21,239 ♪ Christmas Eve ♪ 740 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:24,075 ♪ ♪ 741 00:37:24,075 --> 00:37:25,660 (grunts fiercely) 742 00:37:25,660 --> 00:37:28,413 (screaming, groaning) 743 00:37:29,414 --> 00:37:30,582 (pained yelling) 744 00:37:30,582 --> 00:37:32,208 ♪ I hope he won't forget ♪ 745 00:37:32,208 --> 00:37:33,793 ♪ To crack his castanets ♪ 746 00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:37,672 -(screams, grunts) -♪ And to his reindeer say ♪ 747 00:37:37,672 --> 00:37:41,634 ♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen, oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen ♪ 748 00:37:41,634 --> 00:37:45,597 ♪ Olé, olé, olé" ♪ 749 00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:48,558 -♪ Mamacita ♪ -♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 750 00:37:48,558 --> 00:37:51,102 ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪ 751 00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:52,270 ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 752 00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:54,272 ♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪ 753 00:37:54,272 --> 00:37:55,982 ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 754 00:37:55,982 --> 00:37:59,527 -♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪ -♪ Christmas Eve ♪ 755 00:37:59,527 --> 00:38:02,447 ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪ 756 00:38:02,447 --> 00:38:04,115 ♪ Mamacita ♪ 757 00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:06,367 -♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪ -♪ Mamacita. ♪ 758 00:38:06,367 --> 00:38:08,453 -(yells) -(screaming in pain) 759 00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:09,829 (song ends) 760 00:38:09,829 --> 00:38:12,790 (Frosty screaming hysterically) 761 00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:18,463 (whimpers, growls) 762 00:38:20,256 --> 00:38:22,008 (whimpering) 763 00:38:23,885 --> 00:38:25,512 (gasping) 764 00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:32,519 -(electrical crackling) -(sputtering) 765 00:38:44,030 --> 00:38:46,157 -(grunts) -(steam hissing) 766 00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:48,034 (chuckles) 767 00:38:48,034 --> 00:38:50,370 Ah, God. 768 00:38:50,370 --> 00:38:52,080 Whew. 769 00:38:53,122 --> 00:38:56,084 Whew. Whew. 770 00:38:56,084 --> 00:38:58,169 (over radio): This is Candy Cane checking in. 771 00:38:58,169 --> 00:38:59,879 Compound is clear and secured. 772 00:38:59,879 --> 00:39:02,006 -(radio crackling, beeping) -(grunting) 773 00:39:02,006 --> 00:39:04,092 SCROOGE: Copy. What's the status on the Kill Squad? 774 00:39:04,092 --> 00:39:05,760 (coughing) 775 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,512 GINGERBREAD: Kill Squad won't be here for two hours. 776 00:39:07,512 --> 00:39:10,390 So we're doing good. The outer seal's already been breached. 777 00:39:10,390 --> 00:39:13,017 Is there a 911 thing on here? 778 00:39:13,017 --> 00:39:15,520 (whimpers) My... 779 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,480 Am I doing that correct? 780 00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:18,815 Hello? 781 00:39:18,815 --> 00:39:20,775 Hello, can anybody hear me? 782 00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:23,361 TRUDY: Can you hear me, Santa? 783 00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:25,196 ♪ ♪ 784 00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:26,447 Hello? 785 00:39:26,447 --> 00:39:28,032 Santa? 786 00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:32,954 Yeah, this is Santa. 787 00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:38,376 I hope I'm not bothering you. 788 00:39:39,752 --> 00:39:42,630 Daddy said you were very busy tonight. 789 00:39:44,382 --> 00:39:46,301 I'm... 790 00:39:46,301 --> 00:39:48,511 I'm on a break. 791 00:39:48,511 --> 00:39:50,722 Who-who am I speaking to? 792 00:39:53,141 --> 00:39:55,018 My name is Trudy Lightstone, 793 00:39:55,018 --> 00:39:58,479 and I've been very good this year. 794 00:39:58,479 --> 00:40:00,398 (grunts) Trudy... 795 00:40:00,398 --> 00:40:02,609 (panting) 796 00:40:02,609 --> 00:40:04,736 Trudy Lightstone. 797 00:40:08,156 --> 00:40:09,782 (chuckles) 798 00:40:13,578 --> 00:40:15,788 Yeah, Trudy. 799 00:40:15,788 --> 00:40:18,166 You're on my nice list. 800 00:40:18,166 --> 00:40:20,710 You've been a very good girl this year. 801 00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:24,464 Where are you now, Trudy? 802 00:40:25,715 --> 00:40:28,551 TRUDY: I'm in a big room with all my relatives. 803 00:40:28,551 --> 00:40:31,929 There's two bad men with guns watching us. 804 00:40:34,515 --> 00:40:36,225 SANTA: Oh, no. Six left. 805 00:40:36,225 --> 00:40:38,561 TRUDY: Are you gonna help us, Santa? 806 00:40:39,687 --> 00:40:41,689 Yeah. Of course I'm gonna help you. 807 00:40:41,689 --> 00:40:44,400 I'm gonna... I'm gonna get you out of there. 808 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,987 Take all these bad guys on my naughty list... 809 00:40:48,863 --> 00:40:51,366 I'm gonna take a lump of coal, 810 00:40:51,366 --> 00:40:55,328 each and every one of them, and shove it straight up... 811 00:40:55,328 --> 00:40:56,621 The ass. 812 00:40:59,457 --> 00:41:01,000 Well, I mean, come on, sweetie. 813 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,961 We want to keep you on the nice list, you know. 814 00:41:05,296 --> 00:41:07,882 Sorry. Can I say "butthole," then? 815 00:41:08,675 --> 00:41:10,176 I mean, it's borderline. 816 00:41:10,176 --> 00:41:11,803 How about "anus"? 817 00:41:11,803 --> 00:41:16,140 (sighs) Technically, yes, uh, "anus" is the tech... 818 00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:17,975 Okay, look, uh, Tru... uh, Trudy. 819 00:41:17,975 --> 00:41:20,728 I got to call for help, and the phone lines are down. 820 00:41:20,728 --> 00:41:23,398 You probably know this house better than anybody. 821 00:41:23,398 --> 00:41:25,316 You got any suggestions? 822 00:41:25,316 --> 00:41:26,943 I have an idea. 823 00:41:29,195 --> 00:41:31,781 All right, you're telling me there's a goddamn Santa Claus 824 00:41:31,781 --> 00:41:33,700 running around here? 825 00:41:36,869 --> 00:41:38,913 Okay, well, he looks jolly as fuck, 826 00:41:38,913 --> 00:41:40,456 but who the hell is he? 827 00:41:40,456 --> 00:41:42,667 There's no Santa listed on the employee manifest. 828 00:41:42,667 --> 00:41:44,001 Yeah, there's more. 829 00:41:44,001 --> 00:41:45,712 Frosty hasn't checked in. I can't reach him. 830 00:41:45,712 --> 00:41:47,672 All right, keep trying. 831 00:41:47,672 --> 00:41:50,341 ♪ ♪ 832 00:41:50,341 --> 00:41:51,884 All right, it's official. 833 00:41:51,884 --> 00:41:53,803 We got a gopher on the loose, and he's dangerous. 834 00:41:53,803 --> 00:41:55,221 Watch your backs. 835 00:41:55,221 --> 00:41:57,265 ♪ ♪ 836 00:42:00,184 --> 00:42:02,937 Al? Al? 837 00:42:09,152 --> 00:42:11,028 Oh, shit. 838 00:42:17,118 --> 00:42:18,703 (clicking) 839 00:42:18,703 --> 00:42:20,371 Oh, shit! 840 00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:23,708 SCROOGE (over radio): Frosty, what's your status? 841 00:42:27,170 --> 00:42:29,213 Frosty, sound off. 842 00:42:30,214 --> 00:42:33,092 Uh, Frosty? 843 00:42:34,385 --> 00:42:35,845 Is-is that, uh... 844 00:42:35,845 --> 00:42:37,764 is that the naughty guy I met in the basement? 845 00:42:37,764 --> 00:42:39,474 Your-your friend is dead. 846 00:42:39,474 --> 00:42:42,727 Uh, he got a star in his face, then his head caught on fire. 847 00:42:42,727 --> 00:42:44,645 It's a long story. 848 00:42:44,645 --> 00:42:47,482 Oh. 849 00:42:47,482 --> 00:42:49,650 Is this... is this our Santy? 850 00:42:49,650 --> 00:42:52,570 Is this our... our Santy Claus? 851 00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:54,155 Yeah, it is. 852 00:42:54,947 --> 00:42:56,866 To whom am I speaking? 853 00:42:56,866 --> 00:42:58,868 Well, for tonight, I'm Mr. Scrooge. 854 00:42:58,868 --> 00:43:02,789 Now, what is it that you want exactly, Santa? 855 00:43:02,789 --> 00:43:05,333 I want you to put down your weapons, 856 00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:08,252 I want you to let this family go, 857 00:43:08,252 --> 00:43:10,129 and then I want to find my reindeer, 858 00:43:10,129 --> 00:43:12,632 and I want to continue delivering my presents. 859 00:43:15,384 --> 00:43:16,928 Are you fucking with me? 860 00:43:16,928 --> 00:43:19,222 All right, who the hell are you really, huh? 861 00:43:19,222 --> 00:43:21,849 Some security guard who's watched too many action flicks? 862 00:43:21,849 --> 00:43:24,310 Some loser ex-cop stuck in a mall 863 00:43:24,310 --> 00:43:26,562 playing dress-up with fat kids pissing on your lap? 864 00:43:26,562 --> 00:43:27,980 Stop me when I get it right. 865 00:43:27,980 --> 00:43:30,274 It's a little more complicated than that. 866 00:43:30,274 --> 00:43:31,901 Not to me, it's not. 867 00:43:31,901 --> 00:43:33,903 'Cause I want to make it my personal mission, 868 00:43:33,903 --> 00:43:38,241 my holiday to-do list, to find you and to end you 869 00:43:38,241 --> 00:43:41,911 and to wipe my ass with you and this whole fucking holiday. 870 00:43:41,911 --> 00:43:44,455 That's what I want for Christmas, Santa. 871 00:43:44,455 --> 00:43:48,584 That is a terrible thing to want for Christmas. 872 00:43:48,584 --> 00:43:52,338 But maybe you and I should discuss that in person. 873 00:43:53,631 --> 00:43:56,300 Santa Claus is coming to town. 874 00:43:58,135 --> 00:43:59,720 (sighs) 875 00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:01,973 (trickling) 876 00:44:07,687 --> 00:44:09,146 Shit. 877 00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:20,324 All right, who did you hire 878 00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:22,994 to play Santa at your Christmas party, huh? 879 00:44:22,994 --> 00:44:25,037 -(gasping, coughing) - I said, who's playing Santa 880 00:44:25,037 --> 00:44:26,497 at your fucked-up Christmas party? 881 00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:29,417 (gasping, straining): I didn't hire a Santa. 882 00:44:29,417 --> 00:44:32,378 I never have a Santa. It's tacky. 883 00:44:32,378 --> 00:44:33,754 SCROOGE: So, who is he? 884 00:44:33,754 --> 00:44:36,591 ♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride... ♪ 885 00:44:36,591 --> 00:44:39,468 Huh? Who is he? 886 00:44:39,468 --> 00:44:41,012 Somebody better start talking, 887 00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:44,098 or I'm gonna bash her brains in with this... 888 00:44:44,098 --> 00:44:48,686 Damn, Gertrude. You really got a thing for nutcrackers, huh? 889 00:44:49,854 --> 00:44:53,733 So, I'm gonna torture everyone in your family 890 00:44:53,733 --> 00:44:56,819 until you tell me who's running around your mansion 891 00:44:56,819 --> 00:44:59,572 playing Santa and fucking with my shit. 892 00:44:59,572 --> 00:45:01,574 And who should I pick first? 893 00:45:01,574 --> 00:45:02,992 Should I go by age? 894 00:45:02,992 --> 00:45:04,660 -(Trudy whimpers) - LINDA: Shh. 895 00:45:04,660 --> 00:45:06,329 Or should I go by IQ? 896 00:45:06,329 --> 00:45:09,790 Pick Jason. He's my mom's favorite. 897 00:45:09,790 --> 00:45:11,834 - Yep. Him. - The one in the sweater. 898 00:45:11,834 --> 00:45:14,211 All right. Jason Lightstone it is. 899 00:45:14,211 --> 00:45:15,463 - The number one son. - No. 900 00:45:15,463 --> 00:45:16,964 Wait, wait, wait. No, we don't need... 901 00:45:16,964 --> 00:45:18,382 We don't need to do that. No, it's okay. 902 00:45:18,382 --> 00:45:20,551 No. No, no, no. We don't need to do this. 903 00:45:20,551 --> 00:45:21,761 No. No, no, no, no. 904 00:45:21,761 --> 00:45:23,262 Don't, don't, don't. 905 00:45:23,262 --> 00:45:25,556 - No, don't... Put it... Don't... No. -(muttering) 906 00:45:25,556 --> 00:45:27,767 - No, no, no, no. No, no. - Give me this fucking... 907 00:45:27,767 --> 00:45:30,811 -(Jason whimpers, screams) -(snaps) 908 00:45:30,811 --> 00:45:32,313 -(grunts) -(groaning) 909 00:45:32,313 --> 00:45:34,607 -(whimpering gasp) -(screams) 910 00:45:34,607 --> 00:45:36,776 (groaning) 911 00:45:36,776 --> 00:45:39,487 I'm telling you, no one hired a Santa. 912 00:45:39,487 --> 00:45:41,113 All right, all right, all right. You're right. 913 00:45:41,113 --> 00:45:42,156 You're right. Let's stop it. Let's stop it. 914 00:45:42,156 --> 00:45:44,283 What are we doing here? Come on. 915 00:45:44,283 --> 00:45:47,370 What are we, amateurs? We're half-assing this. 916 00:45:47,370 --> 00:45:50,498 Come on. It's not called a finger cracker. 917 00:45:51,707 --> 00:45:53,668 Okay, Candy Cane. 918 00:45:53,668 --> 00:45:55,044 Stick one of his bozaks in there. 919 00:45:55,044 --> 00:45:56,253 I'm not touching his balls. 920 00:45:56,253 --> 00:45:57,964 What, are you a princess all of a sudden? 921 00:45:57,964 --> 00:45:59,590 I've seen you scoop out brains before. 922 00:45:59,590 --> 00:46:01,050 CANDY CANE: You want me to scoop his brains out, 923 00:46:01,050 --> 00:46:02,593 I'll scoop his brains out right now, 924 00:46:02,593 --> 00:46:03,761 but I'm not touching his junk. 925 00:46:03,761 --> 00:46:05,179 I don't care who does it. 926 00:46:05,179 --> 00:46:06,764 I better be looking at flat balls, 927 00:46:06,764 --> 00:46:08,015 like, in three seconds. 928 00:46:08,015 --> 00:46:10,601 I'll do it. 929 00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:11,894 Krampus. Perfect. 930 00:46:11,894 --> 00:46:13,270 Oh, not that guy. Not that guy. 931 00:46:13,270 --> 00:46:14,772 That's what I love about sociopaths. 932 00:46:14,772 --> 00:46:16,065 Always up for trying new things. 933 00:46:16,065 --> 00:46:17,400 You don't need to do this, okay? 934 00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,318 No, it's all right. Um... Oh, no. 935 00:46:19,318 --> 00:46:21,862 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 936 00:46:21,862 --> 00:46:24,407 (panting): Oh, God. Oh, my God. 937 00:46:24,407 --> 00:46:25,950 (Jason whimpers) 938 00:46:25,950 --> 00:46:27,576 KRAMPUS: Put your nuts in. 939 00:46:27,576 --> 00:46:28,953 Yummy, yummy. 940 00:46:28,953 --> 00:46:31,706 Stop hurting my daddy... 941 00:46:31,706 --> 00:46:34,125 or Santa will get mad. 942 00:46:34,959 --> 00:46:37,169 Ah, what a cutie. 943 00:46:37,169 --> 00:46:39,255 So, what do we know about Santa, little one? 944 00:46:39,255 --> 00:46:41,173 She doesn't know anything about Santa. 945 00:46:41,173 --> 00:46:42,049 (groans) 946 00:46:42,049 --> 00:46:43,801 He wasn't asking you. 947 00:46:43,801 --> 00:46:46,220 She's playing make-believe. 948 00:46:46,220 --> 00:46:48,472 She's pretending to talk to Santa. 949 00:46:48,472 --> 00:46:50,474 It's not pretend. Santa's my friend, 950 00:46:50,474 --> 00:46:52,393 and he said he's going to save us. 951 00:46:52,393 --> 00:46:53,477 JASON: No. 952 00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:55,730 - And beat you up. - SCROOGE: Oh, is he? 953 00:46:55,730 --> 00:46:58,274 I bet he'd come out of hiding if you asked him to, huh? 954 00:46:58,274 --> 00:46:59,859 What do you say you come with me 955 00:46:59,859 --> 00:47:02,111 - and we play a little game with him, huh? -No, no, no. 956 00:47:02,111 --> 00:47:03,487 Trudy, come on. Tell him the truth now. 957 00:47:03,487 --> 00:47:05,322 - You aren't talking to Santa. - Yes, I am. 958 00:47:05,322 --> 00:47:06,657 No, you're not. Come on, now. 959 00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:09,493 - Yes, I am. -Damn it, Trudy, Santa isn't real! 960 00:47:09,493 --> 00:47:10,745 (gasps) 961 00:47:10,745 --> 00:47:12,163 (sighs) 962 00:47:14,915 --> 00:47:17,710 ♪ ♪ 963 00:47:17,710 --> 00:47:19,503 I'm sorry, honey. 964 00:47:20,463 --> 00:47:22,673 Santa's just a thing adults tell kids 965 00:47:22,673 --> 00:47:24,884 to make them feel better, okay? 966 00:47:26,886 --> 00:47:29,013 Your mommy and I give you the presents, 967 00:47:29,013 --> 00:47:31,015 and we say they're from Santa. 968 00:47:31,015 --> 00:47:32,183 (Jason sighs) 969 00:47:32,183 --> 00:47:33,768 He's not coming to save us. 970 00:47:33,768 --> 00:47:35,978 He doesn't exist. 971 00:47:35,978 --> 00:47:38,397 It's all made-up. 972 00:47:39,940 --> 00:47:41,734 - Really? - SCROOGE: Aw. 973 00:47:41,734 --> 00:47:44,570 What a way to find out that there's no Santa. 974 00:47:44,570 --> 00:47:46,614 Hey, let's come back Easter and ruin the Easter Bunny 975 00:47:46,614 --> 00:47:48,783 - for her, too, huh? -(Krampus chuckling) 976 00:47:48,783 --> 00:47:50,201 - LINDA: Trudy! - Come back here! 977 00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:51,660 - Stop her! - Trudy! -Hey! 978 00:47:51,660 --> 00:47:53,162 CANDY CANE: You idiots, stay at your posts. 979 00:47:53,162 --> 00:47:54,622 LINDA: Trudy! 980 00:47:54,622 --> 00:47:56,957 I'll find this little brat. 981 00:47:59,710 --> 00:48:01,962 (panting) 982 00:48:05,549 --> 00:48:07,593 ♪ ♪ 983 00:48:10,513 --> 00:48:12,556 (sighs) 984 00:48:19,396 --> 00:48:22,316 (song playing with eerie, indistinct chanted vocal) 985 00:48:37,289 --> 00:48:39,542 (song continues with eerie, indistinct chanted vocal) 986 00:48:46,549 --> 00:48:48,592 (shuddering breaths) 987 00:48:55,224 --> 00:48:57,601 (short, pained breaths) 988 00:49:03,065 --> 00:49:04,483 Okay. 989 00:49:13,492 --> 00:49:16,370 (panting) 990 00:49:19,456 --> 00:49:20,875 (grunts) 991 00:49:20,875 --> 00:49:22,334 (exhales) 992 00:49:23,127 --> 00:49:24,962 (song ends) 993 00:49:24,962 --> 00:49:26,797 (panting) 994 00:49:26,797 --> 00:49:29,008 (people screaming, shouting) 995 00:49:33,095 --> 00:49:36,098 TRUDY (over radio): Santa. Santa. 996 00:49:36,098 --> 00:49:37,975 - Santa! -(gasps) 997 00:49:37,975 --> 00:49:39,643 (panting) 998 00:49:39,643 --> 00:49:41,478 This is Trudy. 999 00:49:42,313 --> 00:49:45,482 - Are you okay, Santa? -(breathing heavily, grunting) 1000 00:49:47,568 --> 00:49:48,986 Hi. Hey. 1001 00:49:48,986 --> 00:49:50,821 Are you okay? 1002 00:49:50,821 --> 00:49:52,656 I'm good. Uh... 1003 00:49:52,656 --> 00:49:55,034 I was just wrapping something up. 1004 00:49:55,034 --> 00:49:57,244 I ran away and hid in the attic. 1005 00:49:57,244 --> 00:50:00,497 Okay. If you're safe... 1006 00:50:00,497 --> 00:50:03,500 uh, just stay there and, uh, stay quiet, all right? 1007 00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:08,339 Okay. I can set up booby traps, like in Home Alone. 1008 00:50:08,339 --> 00:50:10,007 Okay, I don't know what that means, 1009 00:50:10,007 --> 00:50:11,717 but, uh, yeah, do that. 1010 00:50:11,717 --> 00:50:13,636 Just do it quietly. 1011 00:50:15,012 --> 00:50:17,014 Are you really Santa? 1012 00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:19,225 (chuckling) 1013 00:50:20,851 --> 00:50:22,853 Of course I am, sweetheart. 1014 00:50:23,729 --> 00:50:26,607 My daddy says there isn't any Santa. 1015 00:50:28,025 --> 00:50:31,237 He says parents just tell their kids that Santa's real 1016 00:50:31,237 --> 00:50:32,947 to make them feel better. 1017 00:50:32,947 --> 00:50:35,824 He said they give us presents 1018 00:50:35,824 --> 00:50:38,118 and say they're from Santa. 1019 00:50:38,118 --> 00:50:40,246 Yeah. 1020 00:50:40,246 --> 00:50:42,498 Yeah, a lot of parents say that. 1021 00:50:42,498 --> 00:50:46,543 But I still bring presents to kids that need me. 1022 00:50:47,836 --> 00:50:50,130 Kids who really believe. 1023 00:50:51,382 --> 00:50:54,301 How do you know who really needs you? 1024 00:50:54,301 --> 00:50:56,512 Christmas magic. 1025 00:50:56,512 --> 00:50:58,806 I'm not really sure how it works. 1026 00:50:58,806 --> 00:51:00,140 (chuckles) 1027 00:51:06,605 --> 00:51:08,899 But, uh... 1028 00:51:08,899 --> 00:51:11,068 (sighs) 1029 00:51:11,068 --> 00:51:14,196 I remember, um... 1030 00:51:14,196 --> 00:51:16,115 when Trudy Lightstone wrote to me. 1031 00:51:16,115 --> 00:51:18,534 She must have been about six years old, 1032 00:51:18,534 --> 00:51:22,371 and she said that she felt lonely sometimes. 1033 00:51:22,371 --> 00:51:24,790 She missed having a best friend. 1034 00:51:24,790 --> 00:51:26,125 And so I brought her 1035 00:51:26,125 --> 00:51:28,002 a beautiful little stuffed rabbit. 1036 00:51:28,002 --> 00:51:29,378 Mr. Bunny. 1037 00:51:29,378 --> 00:51:31,338 And then I remember the next year, 1038 00:51:31,338 --> 00:51:33,465 and you said you had this amazing dream 1039 00:51:33,465 --> 00:51:37,511 and that, afterwards, all you wanted to do was... 1040 00:51:37,511 --> 00:51:38,762 To fly! 1041 00:51:38,762 --> 00:51:41,181 (laughing): To fly. To fly. 1042 00:51:42,433 --> 00:51:46,895 I mean, Santa might have some magic, but... 1043 00:51:46,895 --> 00:51:50,607 making a little girl fly? 1044 00:51:52,776 --> 00:51:56,864 But giving you a kite, 1045 00:51:56,864 --> 00:52:00,326 floating just beneath the clouds, 1046 00:52:00,326 --> 00:52:03,162 well, it's about as good as it gets. 1047 00:52:03,162 --> 00:52:05,039 I knew it. 1048 00:52:05,039 --> 00:52:07,416 I knew you were real, Santa. 1049 00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:13,130 Don't be too hard on your parents, all right? 1050 00:52:14,882 --> 00:52:17,718 Grown-ups have a hard time believing things. 1051 00:52:18,552 --> 00:52:20,846 Can you use your Christmas magic 1052 00:52:20,846 --> 00:52:23,182 to make them love each other again? 1053 00:52:23,182 --> 00:52:25,726 I wish I had that kind of power. 1054 00:52:26,518 --> 00:52:30,272 Mrs. Claus and I have been going on year, uh, 1055 00:52:30,272 --> 00:52:32,566 1,100, and... 1056 00:52:33,442 --> 00:52:36,278 Grown-up relationships are complicated. 1057 00:52:37,112 --> 00:52:39,323 It takes work. 1058 00:52:39,323 --> 00:52:41,450 A lot of work. 1059 00:52:43,577 --> 00:52:45,996 Do you still love her? 1060 00:52:45,996 --> 00:52:47,831 Yeah, I do. 1061 00:52:48,791 --> 00:52:52,336 And sometimes, even if you want to make somebody happy... 1062 00:52:53,545 --> 00:52:55,839 ...the magic just goes away. 1063 00:52:57,883 --> 00:53:00,219 Hey. 1064 00:53:00,219 --> 00:53:02,012 I've got an idea. 1065 00:53:02,012 --> 00:53:03,639 This will be fun. 1066 00:53:04,681 --> 00:53:07,935 Why don't you guys open your presents? 1067 00:53:07,935 --> 00:53:12,231 I want to see what you rich assholes get each other. 1068 00:53:12,231 --> 00:53:18,195 And some of you might not make it till tomorrow morning, 1069 00:53:18,195 --> 00:53:21,198 so this could be your only chance. 1070 00:53:22,032 --> 00:53:23,492 Come on. 1071 00:53:23,492 --> 00:53:26,245 Where's the Christmas spirit? 1072 00:53:27,788 --> 00:53:29,873 Uh... 1073 00:53:30,749 --> 00:53:35,170 Gertrude, uh, I got you something pretty special. 1074 00:53:35,170 --> 00:53:36,505 KRAMPUS: Did you hear that, Gertrude? 1075 00:53:36,505 --> 00:53:38,465 He got you something amazing. 1076 00:53:38,465 --> 00:53:41,385 (giggling excitedly): Oh, what could it be? 1077 00:53:41,385 --> 00:53:43,804 Oh, my God, this is exciting. 1078 00:53:43,804 --> 00:53:46,014 Mom. 1079 00:53:46,014 --> 00:53:47,724 Can I call you Mom? 1080 00:53:48,934 --> 00:53:50,561 Mrs. Lightstone. 1081 00:53:52,396 --> 00:53:55,774 Okay, so in the business, they call this... 1082 00:53:56,775 --> 00:53:58,235 ...a pitch deck. 1083 00:53:59,153 --> 00:54:00,237 - Pitch deck. - MORGAN: Yeah. 1084 00:54:00,237 --> 00:54:02,030 It's called Explosive Force. 1085 00:54:02,030 --> 00:54:03,574 Starring me. 1086 00:54:03,574 --> 00:54:05,325 And if you look in the back, 1087 00:54:05,325 --> 00:54:08,787 there are the financial numbers. 1088 00:54:08,787 --> 00:54:12,332 I'm kind of a big deal in Asia. 1089 00:54:13,584 --> 00:54:15,752 Parts of Asia, at least. 1090 00:54:15,752 --> 00:54:17,838 We were in parts of Asia once, and, like, 1091 00:54:17,838 --> 00:54:19,590 we couldn't even go to a restaurant. 1092 00:54:19,590 --> 00:54:23,093 Ah, what is there a better gift than... 1093 00:54:23,093 --> 00:54:26,430 gift of a golden opportunity? 1094 00:54:27,764 --> 00:54:30,017 KRAMPUS (laughing): Oh, no. 1095 00:54:30,017 --> 00:54:31,268 (laughing) 1096 00:54:31,268 --> 00:54:33,729 Granny doesn't like it. (laughs) 1097 00:54:33,729 --> 00:54:36,356 Mother, I got you something really special. 1098 00:54:42,613 --> 00:54:45,282 It's a sentimental photo of the day I was born. 1099 00:54:45,282 --> 00:54:47,326 I remember. 1100 00:54:47,326 --> 00:54:48,702 I was there. 1101 00:54:48,702 --> 00:54:50,954 KRAMPUS: She doesn't give a shit. 1102 00:54:50,954 --> 00:54:53,415 (laughing) 1103 00:54:53,415 --> 00:54:55,125 - Swing and miss again! -(glass shatters) 1104 00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:56,418 This is so fun. 1105 00:54:56,418 --> 00:54:57,628 ALVA: Mommy, how about another one? 1106 00:54:57,628 --> 00:54:59,338 I got you a lot of good things. 1107 00:54:59,338 --> 00:55:01,381 - I'll grab one. - Alva, Alva, sit down. 1108 00:55:01,381 --> 00:55:03,133 You've already given me one. It's... 1109 00:55:03,133 --> 00:55:04,384 It's Jason's turn. 1110 00:55:04,384 --> 00:55:05,802 JASON: Uh... 1111 00:55:05,802 --> 00:55:09,264 I th... I-I think I left it in the car. 1112 00:55:09,264 --> 00:55:11,517 No, I-I saw you put one under the tree earlier. 1113 00:55:11,517 --> 00:55:13,894 - No. It's in the... - Yeah, I did. 1114 00:55:13,894 --> 00:55:16,980 I could've sworn. You know what, it's, uh... 1115 00:55:16,980 --> 00:55:19,066 Y-You don't... you don't... you don't... you... 1116 00:55:19,066 --> 00:55:21,693 It's this one, right? Yeah, I got you, bro. 1117 00:55:21,693 --> 00:55:23,153 Come on. 1118 00:55:23,153 --> 00:55:24,905 (panting quietly) 1119 00:55:24,905 --> 00:55:26,949 Thank you. 1120 00:55:27,991 --> 00:55:30,202 It's my favorite whiskey. 1121 00:55:30,202 --> 00:55:32,871 You can skip the note. 1122 00:55:40,504 --> 00:55:42,756 ♪ ♪ 1123 00:55:51,932 --> 00:55:53,976 (sighs) 1124 00:55:56,228 --> 00:55:57,980 Thank you, Jason. 1125 00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,696 What's the card say? 1126 00:56:05,696 --> 00:56:08,615 I think I'll just keep that between Jason and I. 1127 00:56:08,615 --> 00:56:12,744 No one really needs to know. Right, Jason? 1128 00:56:15,205 --> 00:56:16,915 Right. 1129 00:56:17,874 --> 00:56:20,252 TRUDY: Did you ever have a mommy and daddy? 1130 00:56:20,252 --> 00:56:22,045 (grunts) 1131 00:56:22,045 --> 00:56:24,089 (chuckling): Yeah, of course I had a mommy and daddy. 1132 00:56:24,089 --> 00:56:27,759 I wasn't... I wasn't always Santa Claus. 1133 00:56:28,594 --> 00:56:30,887 I had a life before this. 1134 00:56:31,805 --> 00:56:34,558 A long, long, long time ago. 1135 00:56:38,729 --> 00:56:41,857 They used to call me, uh... 1136 00:56:41,857 --> 00:56:43,775 Nicomund. 1137 00:56:43,775 --> 00:56:46,028 (flames rumbling) 1138 00:56:46,028 --> 00:56:47,529 (panting) 1139 00:56:47,529 --> 00:56:49,156 SANTA: Nicomund the Red. 1140 00:56:49,156 --> 00:56:50,741 (people yelling) 1141 00:56:50,741 --> 00:56:53,493 TRUDY: You had a different job then? 1142 00:56:53,493 --> 00:56:56,246 SANTA: Yeah, you could say that. 1143 00:56:56,246 --> 00:56:58,123 I was a warrior. 1144 00:56:58,123 --> 00:57:00,208 A raider. A thief. 1145 00:57:00,208 --> 00:57:04,004 -(man screams) - And if somebody got in my way, 1146 00:57:04,004 --> 00:57:05,756 me and Skullcrusher would... 1147 00:57:05,756 --> 00:57:07,424 TRUDY: Who's Skullcrusher? 1148 00:57:08,258 --> 00:57:11,386 Skullcrusher's my, uh... 1149 00:57:11,386 --> 00:57:14,097 my hammer. 1150 00:57:14,097 --> 00:57:16,350 My favorite hammer. 1151 00:57:16,350 --> 00:57:18,727 I was a surgeon with that thing. 1152 00:57:18,727 --> 00:57:21,188 Used to be able to take three heads, line 'em up... 1153 00:57:21,188 --> 00:57:22,773 (makes thudding sound) 1154 00:57:22,773 --> 00:57:25,359 But why? 1155 00:57:25,359 --> 00:57:26,818 What? 1156 00:57:26,818 --> 00:57:29,446 Why'd you do those things? 1157 00:57:31,406 --> 00:57:33,492 Because I was mean. 1158 00:57:34,660 --> 00:57:36,787 And I was greedy. 1159 00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:41,416 And I wanted gold, jewels. 1160 00:57:41,416 --> 00:57:44,127 Yeah, I mean, if there was a naughty list back then, 1161 00:57:44,127 --> 00:57:46,129 I'd be top dog. 1162 00:57:47,714 --> 00:57:49,841 Well, maybe... 1163 00:57:50,842 --> 00:57:52,052 What? 1164 00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:54,179 Maybe all those bad things you used to do... 1165 00:57:55,263 --> 00:57:58,558 ...maybe you can use them to do good things instead. 1166 00:57:59,351 --> 00:58:01,645 To help. 1167 00:58:01,645 --> 00:58:03,563 What do you mean? 1168 00:58:03,563 --> 00:58:07,943 Mr. Bunny, he wasn't just a toy. 1169 00:58:07,943 --> 00:58:11,363 That night, you gave me what I wished for. 1170 00:58:11,363 --> 00:58:13,240 A best friend. 1171 00:58:14,282 --> 00:58:16,910 'Cause you're good and kind. 1172 00:58:16,910 --> 00:58:20,497 And you mean more than just the presents you bring. 1173 00:58:20,497 --> 00:58:23,166 That's why I believe in you, Santa. 1174 00:58:23,166 --> 00:58:25,585 That's why I believe. 1175 00:58:26,712 --> 00:58:29,005 (exhaling sharply) 1176 00:58:31,174 --> 00:58:32,843 Thank you. 1177 00:58:34,678 --> 00:58:38,640 You stay hidden, Trudy, till I come get you. 1178 00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:40,559 Stay safe. 1179 00:58:41,518 --> 00:58:44,438 SCROOGE: All right, we got satellite confirmation. 1180 00:58:44,438 --> 00:58:46,565 Extraction team's on the go. 1181 00:58:46,565 --> 00:58:48,859 ETA: 30 minutes. 1182 00:58:48,859 --> 00:58:50,527 We're on schedule. 1183 00:58:50,527 --> 00:58:51,945 Everything's good. 1184 00:58:51,945 --> 00:58:53,530 -(engines revving) - THORP: All right, fellas. 1185 00:58:53,530 --> 00:58:54,948 Look alive, look alive. 1186 00:58:54,948 --> 00:58:56,867 You all know the plan, 1187 00:58:56,867 --> 00:59:00,245 and I like my operations like I like to fuck: 1188 00:59:00,245 --> 00:59:03,039 hard and fast with minimal cleanup. 1189 00:59:03,039 --> 00:59:07,586 Now, some idiot gets in your way, what do you do? 1190 00:59:07,586 --> 00:59:09,671 ALL: Fuck their shit up right! 1191 00:59:09,671 --> 00:59:11,339 Damn right. 1192 00:59:12,132 --> 00:59:14,843 - Time to lube up. -(engines revving) 1193 00:59:15,969 --> 00:59:18,680 Let's go, motherfuckers! Let's go! 1194 00:59:24,603 --> 00:59:26,855 (whispers): This fucking family. 1195 00:59:46,124 --> 00:59:48,376 MALE VOICE (recorded): Ho, ho, ho, ho. 1196 00:59:48,376 --> 00:59:50,170 -(gasps) - Merry Christmas. 1197 00:59:50,170 --> 00:59:51,421 Happy holidays. 1198 00:59:51,421 --> 00:59:52,547 Traitor. 1199 00:59:52,547 --> 00:59:54,007 (grunts) 1200 00:59:54,007 --> 00:59:56,009 I got him in the east wing. 1201 00:59:56,009 --> 00:59:58,470 SCROOGE: All right, we're on our way. Hold him. 1202 00:59:58,470 --> 01:00:00,013 (grunting, panting) 1203 01:00:00,013 --> 01:00:02,390 (yells) 1204 01:00:02,390 --> 01:00:03,809 (gasps) 1205 01:00:07,437 --> 01:00:09,689 (both grunting) 1206 01:00:11,775 --> 01:00:13,777 Step aside. 1207 01:00:18,156 --> 01:00:20,659 -(gunshot) -(whooshing) 1208 01:00:22,828 --> 01:00:25,080 ♪ ♪ 1209 01:00:27,290 --> 01:00:30,085 SCROOGE (in other room): Now, how did this tired, old, 1210 01:00:30,085 --> 01:00:32,754 fat piece of shit get the drop on us? 1211 01:00:32,754 --> 01:00:34,214 GINGERBREAD: I don't know. 1212 01:00:34,214 --> 01:00:36,216 CANDY CANE: He's not even armed. 1213 01:00:36,216 --> 01:00:38,635 This bag is the only thing he had on him. 1214 01:00:38,635 --> 01:00:40,053 SCROOGE: What's in there? 1215 01:00:40,804 --> 01:00:42,848 Can't see anything. 1216 01:00:46,935 --> 01:00:48,395 SCROOGE: Here, give it to me. 1217 01:00:59,489 --> 01:01:01,992 What kind of moron... 1218 01:01:01,992 --> 01:01:04,244 carries a chess set with him? 1219 01:01:07,873 --> 01:01:09,416 What the fuck? 1220 01:01:09,416 --> 01:01:11,960 Doesn't make any sense. Look at all this shit. 1221 01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:14,170 (thuds, strings twang) 1222 01:01:14,170 --> 01:01:16,339 (chuckling) 1223 01:01:19,175 --> 01:01:22,178 So, you're gonna tell us what's the gimmick with the bag? 1224 01:01:22,178 --> 01:01:23,847 It's magic. 1225 01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:26,766 You put your hand in, out comes a present. 1226 01:01:28,351 --> 01:01:31,104 I don't really understand how it works, either. 1227 01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:35,525 So, you're Mr. Scrooge. 1228 01:01:35,525 --> 01:01:37,527 That's right. 1229 01:01:37,527 --> 01:01:39,321 But who are you? 1230 01:01:39,321 --> 01:01:41,364 Weihnachtsmann. 1231 01:01:42,741 --> 01:01:44,701 Julenissen. 1232 01:01:45,577 --> 01:01:47,495 Shèngdàn Laorén. 1233 01:01:48,330 --> 01:01:51,541 Babbo Natale, Père Noel, Kris Kringle. 1234 01:01:51,541 --> 01:01:54,044 Jolly old Saint Nick. 1235 01:01:54,044 --> 01:01:57,088 People call me a lot of things. 1236 01:01:57,923 --> 01:02:00,550 SCROOGE: Ha, ha, ha. Very funny. 1237 01:02:00,550 --> 01:02:02,928 Or should I say, "Ho, ho, ho"? 1238 01:02:02,928 --> 01:02:06,514 If you're Santa, where's your reindeer? 1239 01:02:06,514 --> 01:02:08,350 They were on the roof 1240 01:02:08,350 --> 01:02:10,977 until that guy I turned into an ice kebab just... 1241 01:02:10,977 --> 01:02:13,605 (Santa imitates rapid gunfire) 1242 01:02:13,605 --> 01:02:15,231 You don't believe me? 1243 01:02:15,231 --> 01:02:16,358 Go check. 1244 01:02:16,358 --> 01:02:19,110 Prancer left a tasty log up there. 1245 01:02:19,110 --> 01:02:20,946 SCROOGE: This fucking guy. 1246 01:02:20,946 --> 01:02:22,656 You don't think... 1247 01:02:22,656 --> 01:02:25,825 Now, I know you're an idiot, but don't be an idiot out loud. 1248 01:02:25,825 --> 01:02:27,911 Come on, he's just in Santy Claus 1249 01:02:27,911 --> 01:02:29,913 with a fucking trick bag. 1250 01:02:29,913 --> 01:02:31,915 SANTA: Oh, no! 1251 01:02:31,915 --> 01:02:33,750 That bag was full of kids' dreams! 1252 01:02:33,750 --> 01:02:35,543 SCROOGE: Oh, come on. 1253 01:02:35,543 --> 01:02:37,837 Everybody knows that Christmas dreams are bullshit. 1254 01:02:38,630 --> 01:02:41,257 My father used to make a big deal out of it 1255 01:02:41,257 --> 01:02:43,051 every Christmas. 1256 01:02:43,051 --> 01:02:45,220 Every freaking Christmas with the presents 1257 01:02:45,220 --> 01:02:47,430 and the candy and the decorations 1258 01:02:47,430 --> 01:02:51,226 and the Christmas caroling and all that bullshit. 1259 01:02:52,602 --> 01:02:54,896 And then when I was... 1260 01:02:54,896 --> 01:02:58,316 I don't know, ten, 11, 1261 01:02:58,316 --> 01:03:00,276 he got laid off, and that Christmas, 1262 01:03:00,276 --> 01:03:01,778 couldn't even afford a tree. 1263 01:03:01,778 --> 01:03:03,321 No Christmas dinner, no gifts. 1264 01:03:03,321 --> 01:03:05,949 Nothing, nada, culo, dick. 1265 01:03:06,741 --> 01:03:08,118 But our neighbors... 1266 01:03:08,118 --> 01:03:09,995 our neighbors, oh, they had it all. 1267 01:03:09,995 --> 01:03:11,788 I could see all that yuletide cheer 1268 01:03:11,788 --> 01:03:14,332 through their window mocking me. 1269 01:03:14,332 --> 01:03:18,253 So Christmas Eve rolls around, and... 1270 01:03:18,253 --> 01:03:21,297 I waited for everybody to go to bed. 1271 01:03:21,297 --> 01:03:24,634 And then I snuck in there to take it all. 1272 01:03:25,635 --> 01:03:28,179 Only problem was that the gramps got up to take a piss 1273 01:03:28,179 --> 01:03:30,598 and the two of us scared the shit out of each other. 1274 01:03:30,598 --> 01:03:33,643 And, um, he fell down the stairs 1275 01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:38,189 and-and broke his neck, and he died in the hospital. 1276 01:03:38,189 --> 01:03:39,816 Everybody thought that I did it, 1277 01:03:39,816 --> 01:03:41,317 and every time I tried to tell them, 1278 01:03:41,317 --> 01:03:43,820 I tried to tell them that... 1279 01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:47,657 Anyway, maybe I did do it. 1280 01:03:47,657 --> 01:03:49,701 Maybe I did push him. 1281 01:03:49,701 --> 01:03:51,494 Poor old fucker. 1282 01:03:51,494 --> 01:03:54,998 So, you see, Christmas ruined my life. 1283 01:03:54,998 --> 01:03:56,666 Okay? But you know what? 1284 01:03:56,666 --> 01:03:58,001 It set me on the path 1285 01:03:58,001 --> 01:04:00,045 and made me the great man that I am today. 1286 01:04:00,045 --> 01:04:02,088 I'm sorry, Jimmy. 1287 01:04:02,881 --> 01:04:04,424 I really am. 1288 01:04:05,258 --> 01:04:07,302 But I do gifts. I do Christmas cheer. 1289 01:04:07,302 --> 01:04:09,512 I don't get involved in people's lives. 1290 01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:13,391 Oh, yeah? Yeah, well, maybe you fucking should! 1291 01:04:17,896 --> 01:04:21,066 Um, how did he know your name? 1292 01:04:21,066 --> 01:04:22,776 Oh, Bjorn. 1293 01:04:22,776 --> 01:04:24,903 What's your excuse? 1294 01:04:24,903 --> 01:04:26,488 Huh? 1295 01:04:26,488 --> 01:04:29,824 Didn't I get you that Huffy bike you wanted back in '82? 1296 01:04:29,824 --> 01:04:33,036 One you wrote me 50 times about! 1297 01:04:33,036 --> 01:04:34,537 What about you, Kira? 1298 01:04:34,537 --> 01:04:37,707 Well, you made your brother eat worms. 1299 01:04:37,707 --> 01:04:39,209 That's naughty! 1300 01:04:39,209 --> 01:04:41,127 Okay, how does he know about my bike? 1301 01:04:41,127 --> 01:04:44,547 It's a lucky guess, like: "Hey, do you like big tits?" 1302 01:04:44,547 --> 01:04:46,758 Come on, every kid wants a fucking bike. 1303 01:04:46,758 --> 01:04:49,886 - You're gonna tell me who you work for... -Oh, Christ. No. 1304 01:04:49,886 --> 01:04:53,181 ...then you've got five seconds to tell me who you really are. 1305 01:04:53,181 --> 01:04:56,017 Five, four, three, two... 1306 01:04:56,017 --> 01:04:57,727 I'm Santa Claus! 1307 01:04:57,727 --> 01:05:00,021 Well, not anymore. 1308 01:05:01,731 --> 01:05:03,983 ♪ ♪ 1309 01:05:24,921 --> 01:05:26,756 GINGERBREAD: Is it snowing? 1310 01:05:26,756 --> 01:05:30,176 CANDY CANE: Is he doing this with Santa magic? 1311 01:05:36,683 --> 01:05:39,060 Let it snow! 1312 01:05:50,780 --> 01:05:52,782 It's not snow. 1313 01:05:52,782 --> 01:05:54,117 It's Styrofoam. 1314 01:05:54,117 --> 01:05:56,369 I told you this guy's a big phony. 1315 01:05:56,369 --> 01:05:58,121 (grunts) 1316 01:05:59,873 --> 01:06:02,125 (whooshing) 1317 01:06:05,795 --> 01:06:08,047 (groaning) 1318 01:06:09,132 --> 01:06:10,800 (grunts, sighs) 1319 01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:12,677 Where'd he go? 1320 01:06:12,677 --> 01:06:14,304 GINGERBREAD: He went up the chimney. 1321 01:06:14,304 --> 01:06:15,972 - I saw it. - SCROOGE: I don't know, 1322 01:06:15,972 --> 01:06:17,807 he had a rig or some pulley system 1323 01:06:17,807 --> 01:06:19,809 - that just yanked him up. - You can't fit up there. 1324 01:06:19,809 --> 01:06:21,519 - It's impossible. - Oh, you see one weird thing, 1325 01:06:21,519 --> 01:06:23,855 and then you think you're in a fairy tale? 1326 01:06:23,855 --> 01:06:25,148 KRAMPUS (over radio): Incoming. 1327 01:06:25,148 --> 01:06:26,024 We've got sleigh bells approaching. 1328 01:06:26,024 --> 01:06:27,817 Oh, my God. 1329 01:06:27,817 --> 01:06:29,694 It's his reindeer. 1330 01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:33,323 -(hits table) - It's the extraction team. 1331 01:06:33,323 --> 01:06:35,533 Pull yourselves together! 1332 01:06:35,533 --> 01:06:38,203 (engines revving) 1333 01:06:40,997 --> 01:06:43,208 ♪ ♪ 1334 01:06:47,170 --> 01:06:49,339 (engines revving in distance) 1335 01:06:50,465 --> 01:06:54,761 And that is the sound of my Kill Squad. 1336 01:06:54,761 --> 01:06:56,221 (Bert laughing) 1337 01:06:56,221 --> 01:06:58,306 Oh, you're fizzity-fucked now. 1338 01:06:58,306 --> 01:07:00,516 Huh? What are you gonna do? You little elf bitch. 1339 01:07:00,516 --> 01:07:01,976 Fu... (grunts) 1340 01:07:01,976 --> 01:07:03,144 (gasps) Bertie. 1341 01:07:03,144 --> 01:07:04,687 Hashtag "blessed." 1342 01:07:04,687 --> 01:07:07,732 (yells, grunts) 1343 01:07:07,732 --> 01:07:10,360 Yeah! (yells) 1344 01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:11,361 Parkour. 1345 01:07:11,361 --> 01:07:12,528 Kill him, babe! 1346 01:07:12,528 --> 01:07:15,198 -(yells) Oh! -(others gasping) 1347 01:07:16,074 --> 01:07:17,700 Morgan's gonna save us. 1348 01:07:19,452 --> 01:07:23,206 Jean-Claude Van Dipshit just ditched us, sweetie. 1349 01:07:30,213 --> 01:07:32,215 Hold your fire. 1350 01:07:32,215 --> 01:07:33,841 Barrel roll! 1351 01:07:33,841 --> 01:07:35,551 (grunting, panting) 1352 01:07:35,551 --> 01:07:36,844 Easy, easy. 1353 01:07:36,844 --> 01:07:38,763 -(grunts) Yeah! - Easy. 1354 01:07:38,763 --> 01:07:40,056 Identify yourself. 1355 01:07:40,056 --> 01:07:42,433 I'm one of the hostages. 1356 01:07:42,433 --> 01:07:45,561 Morgan Steel, the actor. 1357 01:07:45,561 --> 01:07:48,564 Played a lot of soldiers in my career. 1358 01:07:48,564 --> 01:07:52,151 Can I just say, thank you for your service. Semper fi. 1359 01:07:52,986 --> 01:07:54,904 What's the situation inside? 1360 01:07:54,904 --> 01:07:57,323 Bunch of ex-military guys, 1361 01:07:57,323 --> 01:07:59,325 but I got to warn you, they know you're coming. 1362 01:07:59,325 --> 01:08:00,994 I think they're ready for you. 1363 01:08:00,994 --> 01:08:02,829 They better be. 1364 01:08:02,829 --> 01:08:04,914 We're on a tight schedule. 1365 01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:06,749 Shit. 1366 01:08:10,086 --> 01:08:12,213 (gasps) Oh, f... 1367 01:08:12,213 --> 01:08:15,508 - All right, let's move out. - Let's move out. 1368 01:08:19,679 --> 01:08:21,306 Come on. 1369 01:08:21,306 --> 01:08:23,516 You got to be kidding me. 1370 01:08:23,516 --> 01:08:25,226 SCROOGE: Hey, Thorp, you're ten minutes late. 1371 01:08:25,226 --> 01:08:26,602 What kept you? 1372 01:08:26,602 --> 01:08:28,938 Looks to me like your net's got a hole in it. 1373 01:08:28,938 --> 01:08:31,399 Or are you just letting your hostages out for some exercise? 1374 01:08:31,399 --> 01:08:33,651 No, no, no. We got a wild gopher running around 1375 01:08:33,651 --> 01:08:36,237 complicating shit and causing problems. 1376 01:08:36,237 --> 01:08:37,822 Who? Lightstone security? 1377 01:08:37,822 --> 01:08:39,407 Nah, I don't think so. Some intruder dressed as Santa. 1378 01:08:39,407 --> 01:08:40,825 But I'm telling you, I'm telling you, 1379 01:08:40,825 --> 01:08:43,036 there's something weird about him. 1380 01:08:43,036 --> 01:08:44,662 Might be the real Santa. 1381 01:08:44,662 --> 01:08:47,123 - The fuck did she just say? - SCROOGE: Nothing, nothing. 1382 01:08:47,123 --> 01:08:48,207 She's joking. 1383 01:08:48,207 --> 01:08:50,710 My squad will take care of it. 1384 01:08:53,087 --> 01:08:55,798 Beta Team, go find this asshole. 1385 01:08:55,798 --> 01:08:57,800 Go. 1386 01:08:57,800 --> 01:09:02,138 Now, let's unwrap our present, shall we? 1387 01:09:02,138 --> 01:09:04,390 All right, you heard the man. 1388 01:09:04,390 --> 01:09:07,018 Time to kill Santa. 1389 01:09:07,018 --> 01:09:09,479 I've got him. He's on the roof. 1390 01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:11,773 Roger that. I got eyes on him. 1391 01:09:15,693 --> 01:09:18,488 (gasping) 1392 01:09:19,655 --> 01:09:21,532 (screams) 1393 01:09:22,658 --> 01:09:25,119 (groaning) 1394 01:09:25,119 --> 01:09:27,330 (panting, grunting) 1395 01:09:29,165 --> 01:09:31,167 Right, Sugarplum. Hit that button. 1396 01:09:31,167 --> 01:09:33,169 (tapping keys) 1397 01:09:33,169 --> 01:09:35,421 (clunking, whirring) 1398 01:09:38,132 --> 01:09:40,009 Here we go. 1399 01:09:40,009 --> 01:09:41,386 Our skeleton key. 1400 01:09:41,386 --> 01:09:43,262 The "open" magic stick. 1401 01:09:43,262 --> 01:09:44,972 This better fucking work. 1402 01:09:44,972 --> 01:09:47,642 I'm flushing my career for this, my reputation. 1403 01:09:47,642 --> 01:09:50,436 Yeah, well, then you can buy yourself a new rep. 1404 01:09:59,362 --> 01:10:00,863 THORP: As a kid, I loved 1405 01:10:00,863 --> 01:10:02,907 unwrapping Christmas presents so much 1406 01:10:02,907 --> 01:10:05,868 that my mom would wrap empty boxes for me. 1407 01:10:06,786 --> 01:10:09,205 I didn't care that nothing was inside. 1408 01:10:13,167 --> 01:10:15,378 ♪ ♪ 1409 01:10:21,175 --> 01:10:23,761 Is this a fucking joke? 1410 01:10:23,761 --> 01:10:24,971 No. 1411 01:10:26,347 --> 01:10:28,266 THORP: You said it would fucking be here! 1412 01:10:28,266 --> 01:10:31,894 I'm telling you, my intel was rock solid. 1413 01:10:31,894 --> 01:10:34,188 I had guys on the inside. 1414 01:10:35,231 --> 01:10:38,943 300 million in cash was delivered here yesterday 1415 01:10:38,943 --> 01:10:41,237 to this fucking mansion. 1416 01:10:46,242 --> 01:10:48,911 Somebody must've intercepted it. 1417 01:10:52,915 --> 01:10:54,959 Son of a bitch. 1418 01:10:57,378 --> 01:11:00,298 (groaning) 1419 01:11:05,970 --> 01:11:08,764 (panting) 1420 01:11:15,104 --> 01:11:17,356 (groans) 1421 01:11:17,356 --> 01:11:18,900 Oh, shit. 1422 01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:21,444 Santa, you okay? 1423 01:11:21,444 --> 01:11:23,029 (over radio): Santa. 1424 01:11:23,029 --> 01:11:25,323 A bunch of new bad guys showed up. 1425 01:11:25,323 --> 01:11:27,116 They're on the naughty list. 1426 01:11:27,116 --> 01:11:30,119 They got their gadgets and their gizmos on them. 1427 01:11:30,953 --> 01:11:33,539 I'm sorry. I think this is it, kid. 1428 01:11:33,539 --> 01:11:35,333 No, no, don't say that. 1429 01:11:35,333 --> 01:11:37,335 The naughty list... 1430 01:11:37,335 --> 01:11:39,754 just grows and grows. 1431 01:11:46,302 --> 01:11:48,471 (device whirring) 1432 01:11:48,471 --> 01:11:52,308 He's in that structure. Body cams on. 1433 01:11:52,308 --> 01:11:54,393 TRUDY: Don't give up. 1434 01:11:54,393 --> 01:11:56,979 You make a wish this time, Santa. 1435 01:11:56,979 --> 01:11:58,606 Just this once. 1436 01:11:58,606 --> 01:12:01,526 If you could have anything in this world, 1437 01:12:01,526 --> 01:12:03,778 what would it be? 1438 01:12:09,492 --> 01:12:12,537 SANTA: I wish I could see Mrs. Claus again, 1439 01:12:12,537 --> 01:12:15,665 tell her how much I love her. 1440 01:12:15,665 --> 01:12:18,501 Then you make that wish come true. 1441 01:12:18,501 --> 01:12:20,670 -(ring clinking) - Oh, shit. 1442 01:12:20,670 --> 01:12:23,005 No, no, no, no. No, no. 1443 01:12:23,005 --> 01:12:24,757 (grunting) 1444 01:12:24,757 --> 01:12:26,175 Oh, God. 1445 01:12:26,175 --> 01:12:29,011 (grunts) No. 1446 01:12:31,180 --> 01:12:33,391 ♪ ♪ 1447 01:12:41,399 --> 01:12:44,402 You said these guys, they're naughty. 1448 01:12:44,402 --> 01:12:47,363 And what do you do to the naughty ones? 1449 01:12:47,363 --> 01:12:49,240 I give them a lump of coal. 1450 01:12:49,240 --> 01:12:51,492 Yeah. Give them their lumps. 1451 01:12:52,702 --> 01:12:54,996 Take that coal and shove it straight up their... 1452 01:12:54,996 --> 01:12:57,248 - Anuses. - Yeah! 1453 01:12:57,248 --> 01:12:58,999 ♪ ♪ 1454 01:13:03,212 --> 01:13:04,880 They're right outside. 1455 01:13:04,880 --> 01:13:06,299 (whooshing) 1456 01:13:06,299 --> 01:13:08,092 ♪ ♪ 1457 01:13:19,061 --> 01:13:21,564 Santa's gonna eat through these guys 1458 01:13:21,564 --> 01:13:23,691 like a plate full of cookies. 1459 01:13:24,483 --> 01:13:26,736 (whispering) 1460 01:13:28,237 --> 01:13:29,614 Move, move. 1461 01:13:33,284 --> 01:13:35,077 Hey, lock it up. 1462 01:13:36,996 --> 01:13:38,831 Lights down. 1463 01:13:39,999 --> 01:13:41,917 Stay at my back. 1464 01:13:41,917 --> 01:13:44,045 All right, we got this, boys. 1465 01:13:44,045 --> 01:13:45,713 (fierce grunting) 1466 01:13:46,380 --> 01:13:48,841 (yelling in pain) 1467 01:13:53,012 --> 01:13:55,348 -(yelps, groans) -(neck snaps) 1468 01:13:55,348 --> 01:13:57,600 ♪ ♪ 1469 01:14:00,144 --> 01:14:01,604 (gasps) 1470 01:14:01,604 --> 01:14:02,897 (pained yelling) 1471 01:14:02,897 --> 01:14:05,274 All right, where the fuck is my money?! 1472 01:14:05,274 --> 01:14:07,652 Where's the money?! 1473 01:14:09,111 --> 01:14:11,113 (yells) 1474 01:14:18,287 --> 01:14:21,207 All right, I've been a sweetheart up to now. 1475 01:14:21,207 --> 01:14:22,667 But that's all over. 1476 01:14:22,667 --> 01:14:24,460 No more fucking games! 1477 01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:25,961 Where's the money? 1478 01:14:25,961 --> 01:14:29,006 Or I will shoot every last one of you and enjoy it. 1479 01:14:33,135 --> 01:14:35,888 - It's in the vault. - I just looked in the vault. 1480 01:14:35,888 --> 01:14:37,306 Had the money been in there, 1481 01:14:37,306 --> 01:14:39,141 I'd have a different expression on my face. 1482 01:14:39,141 --> 01:14:40,518 Impossible. 1483 01:14:40,518 --> 01:14:42,603 Takes days to get into that thing. 1484 01:14:42,603 --> 01:14:46,107 Not if we have the key, Mrs. Lightstone. 1485 01:14:47,483 --> 01:14:49,527 GERTRUDE: Thorp. 1486 01:14:49,527 --> 01:14:50,903 (sighs) 1487 01:14:50,903 --> 01:14:53,489 You can't trust anyone these days. 1488 01:14:53,489 --> 01:14:55,658 SCROOGE: I'm not sure how, but you 1489 01:14:55,658 --> 01:14:58,536 or one of your shithead kids moved the money. 1490 01:14:58,536 --> 01:15:00,413 And this upsets me. 1491 01:15:00,413 --> 01:15:02,248 It upsets me 1492 01:15:02,248 --> 01:15:06,252 in a way that makes me want to just randomly shoot at people. 1493 01:15:07,253 --> 01:15:09,463 Hold on. Just... Sorry. 1494 01:15:09,463 --> 01:15:10,881 - Um... - What? What? 1495 01:15:10,881 --> 01:15:12,258 Uh, what if you randomly shoot 1496 01:15:12,258 --> 01:15:14,844 the only person who knows where it is? 1497 01:15:15,845 --> 01:15:18,180 Oh, fuck you people! 1498 01:15:18,180 --> 01:15:20,182 ♪ ♪ 1499 01:15:22,768 --> 01:15:27,857 ♪ We waited all through the year ♪ 1500 01:15:28,733 --> 01:15:33,779 ♪ For the day to appear ♪ 1501 01:15:33,779 --> 01:15:35,656 (grunting and groaning) 1502 01:15:35,656 --> 01:15:41,454 ♪ When we could be together ♪ 1503 01:15:41,454 --> 01:15:43,956 ♪ In harmony ♪ 1504 01:15:43,956 --> 01:15:45,207 (yells) 1505 01:15:45,207 --> 01:15:47,543 ♪ You know the time will come ♪ 1506 01:15:47,543 --> 01:15:50,504 (grunts, screams) 1507 01:15:50,504 --> 01:15:52,840 ♪ Peace on Earth for everyone ♪ 1508 01:15:52,840 --> 01:15:54,425 SANTA: Suck on this. 1509 01:15:54,425 --> 01:15:57,052 (grunting, gurgling) 1510 01:15:58,846 --> 01:16:03,726 ♪ And we can live forever ♪ 1511 01:16:03,726 --> 01:16:06,979 ♪ In a world where we are free ♪ 1512 01:16:06,979 --> 01:16:10,065 ♪ Let it shine for you and me ♪ 1513 01:16:10,065 --> 01:16:13,235 ♪ There's something about Christmastime ♪ 1514 01:16:13,235 --> 01:16:16,405 ♪ Something about Christmastime ♪ 1515 01:16:16,405 --> 01:16:19,408 ♪ That makes you wish it was Christmas every day... ♪ 1516 01:16:19,408 --> 01:16:20,910 I need some feedback, guys. 1517 01:16:20,910 --> 01:16:22,495 (grunting and yelling over monitor) 1518 01:16:22,495 --> 01:16:24,455 Guys, what the hell is going on? 1519 01:16:25,247 --> 01:16:28,083 ♪ The way that the old folks smile ♪ 1520 01:16:28,083 --> 01:16:32,713 ♪ Says that Christmas will never go away ♪ 1521 01:16:34,256 --> 01:16:39,094 -♪ We're all as one tonight ♪ -(grunting and groaning) 1522 01:16:39,094 --> 01:16:43,808 ♪ Makes no difference if you're Black or white ♪ 1523 01:16:43,808 --> 01:16:46,727 (grunting and groaning continue) 1524 01:16:46,727 --> 01:16:49,438 ♪ 'Cause we can sing together ♪ 1525 01:16:49,438 --> 01:16:51,941 (screaming) 1526 01:16:51,941 --> 01:16:54,151 ♪ In harmony ♪ 1527 01:16:56,070 --> 01:17:00,866 ♪ I know it's not too late ♪ 1528 01:17:00,866 --> 01:17:03,828 ♪ The world would be ♪ 1529 01:17:03,828 --> 01:17:07,248 -♪ A better place ♪ -(engine starts, rumbles) 1530 01:17:09,458 --> 01:17:10,876 - What's that? - Huh? 1531 01:17:10,876 --> 01:17:12,962 ♪ If we can keep the spirit ♪ 1532 01:17:12,962 --> 01:17:14,964 (grunting and groaning continue) 1533 01:17:14,964 --> 01:17:17,299 ♪ More than one day in the year ♪ 1534 01:17:17,299 --> 01:17:21,679 ♪ Send a message loud and clear ♪ 1535 01:17:22,972 --> 01:17:25,891 ♪ There's something about Christmastime ♪ 1536 01:17:25,891 --> 01:17:28,435 ♪ Something about Christmastime ♪ 1537 01:17:28,435 --> 01:17:32,773 ♪ That makes you wish it was Christmas every day ♪ 1538 01:17:32,773 --> 01:17:34,817 (grunting, screaming) 1539 01:17:34,817 --> 01:17:38,362 ♪ To see the joy in the children's eyes ♪ 1540 01:17:38,362 --> 01:17:41,240 ♪ The way that the old folks smile ♪ 1541 01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:46,287 ♪ Says that Christmas will never go away ♪ 1542 01:17:47,079 --> 01:17:49,874 ♪ It's the time of year when everyone's together... ♪ 1543 01:17:49,874 --> 01:17:52,001 Jesus Christ. 1544 01:17:52,751 --> 01:17:55,170 Nope. Just jolly old Saint Nick. 1545 01:17:55,170 --> 01:17:57,590 ♪ Here on Christmas Day ♪ 1546 01:17:57,590 --> 01:17:59,133 (grunts) 1547 01:17:59,133 --> 01:18:02,887 ♪ When the ones you love are there ♪ 1548 01:18:02,887 --> 01:18:07,725 ♪ You can feel the magic in the air... ♪ 1549 01:18:07,725 --> 01:18:10,477 -(grunts) Oh, God! - There you go. 1550 01:18:10,477 --> 01:18:12,187 A little stocking stuffer. 1551 01:18:12,980 --> 01:18:16,567 Where is it? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 1552 01:18:16,567 --> 01:18:19,028 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 1553 01:18:19,028 --> 01:18:21,739 - I got to watch. - Fuck! 1554 01:18:22,865 --> 01:18:25,075 Ho-Ho-Holy shit. 1555 01:18:25,075 --> 01:18:27,369 ♪ Christmas will never go away. ♪ 1556 01:18:27,369 --> 01:18:30,080 Gertrude would never trust anybody 1557 01:18:30,080 --> 01:18:32,541 who wasn't blood with this kind of info. 1558 01:18:32,541 --> 01:18:34,251 So... 1559 01:18:34,251 --> 01:18:37,880 the in-laws wouldn't know shit, 1560 01:18:37,880 --> 01:18:40,424 which means that I can shoot her... 1561 01:18:40,424 --> 01:18:41,967 (gasping) 1562 01:18:41,967 --> 01:18:43,969 ...unless you tell me where the fucking money is. 1563 01:18:43,969 --> 01:18:46,221 LINDA: Please don't, okay? It's Christmas. 1564 01:18:46,221 --> 01:18:48,057 Shut up! 1565 01:18:48,933 --> 01:18:50,351 I swear, I'll blow her brains out 1566 01:18:50,351 --> 01:18:51,769 unless you tell me where the money went. 1567 01:18:51,769 --> 01:18:53,979 I did it! 1568 01:18:53,979 --> 01:18:56,398 - What? - JASON: Okay. Yeah, I did it. 1569 01:18:56,398 --> 01:18:58,317 - I moved the money. - No, d-don't-don't be an idiot. 1570 01:18:58,317 --> 01:19:00,069 - What? - The money's our only leverage. 1571 01:19:00,069 --> 01:19:01,654 Well, my wife has a fucking gun to her head, so... 1572 01:19:01,654 --> 01:19:03,739 Yeah, how did you find out that we were coming, huh? 1573 01:19:03,739 --> 01:19:05,407 I didn't. I was stealing it. 1574 01:19:05,407 --> 01:19:06,575 (Linda sighs) 1575 01:19:06,575 --> 01:19:08,035 - Yeah, coincidence. - ALVA: Oh, my God. 1576 01:19:08,035 --> 01:19:09,411 I was planning to take the money 1577 01:19:09,411 --> 01:19:12,581 and leave with my wife and daughter tonight 1578 01:19:12,581 --> 01:19:14,583 and never come back here. 1579 01:19:14,583 --> 01:19:17,962 Oh, and then my mom would, uh, 1580 01:19:17,962 --> 01:19:19,964 read the note with her whiskey in the morning 1581 01:19:19,964 --> 01:19:21,757 and know what I had done. 1582 01:19:21,757 --> 01:19:24,051 For years, I have been telling you 1583 01:19:24,051 --> 01:19:26,428 to stop caring about your mother's fucking money! 1584 01:19:26,428 --> 01:19:29,682 And you think the solution was to steal a bunch of it. 1585 01:19:30,474 --> 01:19:32,685 Well, it... yeah, it does sound stupid 1586 01:19:32,685 --> 01:19:34,186 when you say it like that. 1587 01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:36,188 ALVA: How can you do this right now? 1588 01:19:36,188 --> 01:19:38,273 It's disgusting. After all that Mother has given us? 1589 01:19:38,273 --> 01:19:40,484 Come on, Alva. Everything she ever gave you, 1590 01:19:40,484 --> 01:19:41,777 she made damn sure we knew 1591 01:19:41,777 --> 01:19:43,028 she had the power to take right back. 1592 01:19:43,028 --> 01:19:46,907 I have spent years groveling to you. 1593 01:19:46,907 --> 01:19:49,702 In the meanwhile, I was destroying 1594 01:19:49,702 --> 01:19:51,745 the only good thing in my life. 1595 01:19:51,745 --> 01:19:53,122 KRAMPUS: What are we doing here, huh? 1596 01:19:53,122 --> 01:19:55,749 Family therapy or doing a heist? 1597 01:19:55,749 --> 01:19:59,003 - Yeah, enough of this sharing bullshit. -(Linda gasps) 1598 01:19:59,003 --> 01:20:00,963 All right. Where'd you put it? 1599 01:20:05,634 --> 01:20:07,136 (Candy Cane scoffs) 1600 01:20:07,136 --> 01:20:09,805 Look at this little idiot. 1601 01:20:13,517 --> 01:20:14,893 Oh, no. 1602 01:20:14,893 --> 01:20:16,729 What? 1603 01:20:16,729 --> 01:20:18,647 - The bad guys found me. - Okay. 1604 01:20:18,647 --> 01:20:20,482 I'm coming. 1605 01:20:27,072 --> 01:20:30,993 You know, booby traps don't work unless you hide them. 1606 01:20:33,662 --> 01:20:35,164 You little moron. 1607 01:20:38,208 --> 01:20:40,544 -(yelling) - Jesus! Shit! 1608 01:20:41,336 --> 01:20:43,672 (Gingerbread continues yelling) 1609 01:20:44,423 --> 01:20:46,592 GINGERBREAD: Help me! Help me! Help! 1610 01:20:46,592 --> 01:20:48,010 (yelling, gurgling) 1611 01:20:48,010 --> 01:20:50,137 You'll be f... (gags) You'll be fine. 1612 01:20:50,137 --> 01:20:52,306 Sit tight. I'll be back in a sec. 1613 01:20:53,766 --> 01:20:55,184 (pained yelling) 1614 01:20:55,184 --> 01:20:57,519 Right after I kill this little piece of shit! 1615 01:21:00,272 --> 01:21:02,691 (panting) You little fucking brat. 1616 01:21:02,691 --> 01:21:04,860 (creaking) 1617 01:21:07,738 --> 01:21:10,449 (grunts, whimpers) 1618 01:21:19,875 --> 01:21:21,085 (grunts) 1619 01:21:21,919 --> 01:21:24,421 (screams) 1620 01:21:28,383 --> 01:21:29,802 (grunts) 1621 01:21:29,802 --> 01:21:31,804 (yelling) 1622 01:21:31,804 --> 01:21:33,388 (squishing) 1623 01:21:33,388 --> 01:21:36,100 (screaming) 1624 01:21:38,227 --> 01:21:40,646 (grunts, yelps) 1625 01:21:40,646 --> 01:21:43,398 (gasping breaths) 1626 01:21:44,191 --> 01:21:45,692 (yells in pain) 1627 01:21:45,692 --> 01:21:47,903 (whimpering) 1628 01:21:49,863 --> 01:21:51,115 (grunts) 1629 01:21:51,115 --> 01:21:52,908 You're dead! 1630 01:21:52,908 --> 01:21:55,410 You're so fucking dead! 1631 01:22:02,584 --> 01:22:05,045 Fucking piece of shit. 1632 01:22:10,092 --> 01:22:12,928 (scoffs) You little... 1633 01:22:22,688 --> 01:22:24,523 (gasping) 1634 01:22:27,734 --> 01:22:30,195 (grunting) 1635 01:22:30,195 --> 01:22:32,239 - Incoming! -(gasps) 1636 01:22:35,617 --> 01:22:38,370 (straining) 1637 01:22:39,788 --> 01:22:41,081 (yelps) 1638 01:22:41,081 --> 01:22:42,374 (chuckles) 1639 01:22:44,084 --> 01:22:46,461 (straining) 1640 01:22:46,461 --> 01:22:47,629 (gasps) 1641 01:22:48,922 --> 01:22:50,966 (groaning) 1642 01:22:50,966 --> 01:22:52,801 (screams) Son of a fucking... 1643 01:22:52,801 --> 01:22:54,261 (chuckles) 1644 01:22:57,556 --> 01:22:59,141 -(crunching) -(screaming) 1645 01:23:00,726 --> 01:23:02,853 (groaning) 1646 01:23:02,853 --> 01:23:04,813 Fuck. (whimpers) 1647 01:23:04,813 --> 01:23:06,607 I got you now, kid. 1648 01:23:06,607 --> 01:23:08,275 Yeah? Heads up. 1649 01:23:08,859 --> 01:23:10,402 (chuckles) 1650 01:23:10,402 --> 01:23:12,029 That's all you got? You fucking... 1651 01:23:12,029 --> 01:23:14,865 (grunts, groans) 1652 01:23:14,865 --> 01:23:17,409 Enough of this shit. (spits) 1653 01:23:24,999 --> 01:23:27,211 ♪ ♪ 1654 01:23:30,964 --> 01:23:33,175 (panting) 1655 01:23:40,390 --> 01:23:42,184 (hammer drops to floor) 1656 01:23:42,976 --> 01:23:44,186 Santa! 1657 01:23:45,187 --> 01:23:47,272 (Santa grunts) 1658 01:23:54,112 --> 01:23:56,365 Hi, Trudy. Hi. 1659 01:23:56,365 --> 01:23:59,201 I made booby traps like in the movie. It was so funny. 1660 01:23:59,201 --> 01:24:01,828 (chuckling): Ho, ho, ho. 1661 01:24:01,828 --> 01:24:03,538 (rustling) 1662 01:24:03,538 --> 01:24:05,374 (grunting weakly) 1663 01:24:07,709 --> 01:24:11,630 Trudy, I want you to, uh... just do me a favor. 1664 01:24:12,464 --> 01:24:15,384 Just turn around and close your eyes. 1665 01:24:15,384 --> 01:24:18,220 Maybe put your fingers in your ears and, uh, 1666 01:24:18,220 --> 01:24:21,265 sing "Jingle Bells" as loud as you can. 1667 01:24:21,265 --> 01:24:23,267 ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪ 1668 01:24:23,267 --> 01:24:25,560 ♪ Jingle all the way ♪ 1669 01:24:25,560 --> 01:24:27,813 ♪ Oh, how fun it is to ride... ♪ 1670 01:24:27,813 --> 01:24:30,774 You were about to murder an innocent child. 1671 01:24:30,774 --> 01:24:32,109 ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells... ♪ 1672 01:24:32,109 --> 01:24:33,735 Innocent? 1673 01:24:33,735 --> 01:24:35,737 - It's naughty. -(Trudy continues singing) 1674 01:24:35,737 --> 01:24:37,197 Naughty. 1675 01:24:37,948 --> 01:24:39,408 - Naughty! -(squishing thud) 1676 01:24:39,408 --> 01:24:41,118 It's part of the Lightstone legacy. 1677 01:24:41,118 --> 01:24:42,744 We're horrible people. 1678 01:24:42,744 --> 01:24:44,621 So I get why you did what you did. 1679 01:24:44,621 --> 01:24:46,707 When your grandfather told me I'd never run the company 1680 01:24:46,707 --> 01:24:49,126 because a girl doesn't have what it takes, 1681 01:24:49,126 --> 01:24:51,128 I had to snatch the reins away from him. 1682 01:24:51,128 --> 01:24:52,587 But the point is, 1683 01:24:52,587 --> 01:24:54,339 a Lightstone takes what's theirs. 1684 01:24:54,339 --> 01:24:56,008 I'm proud of you, son. 1685 01:24:56,008 --> 01:24:57,467 All right, where the hell is it? 1686 01:24:57,467 --> 01:24:59,803 (choral Christmas music playing over speakers) 1687 01:24:59,803 --> 01:25:01,722 The money's hidden inside. 1688 01:25:02,889 --> 01:25:06,018 SCROOGE: And the Three Wise Men presented him with gifts 1689 01:25:06,018 --> 01:25:08,854 of frankincense, myrrh... 1690 01:25:10,981 --> 01:25:14,067 ...and cold hard cash. 1691 01:25:14,067 --> 01:25:15,527 Load it up, boys. 1692 01:25:15,527 --> 01:25:17,779 All right, we're securing the money. 1693 01:25:17,779 --> 01:25:19,865 Kill the hostages and meet us outside. 1694 01:25:19,865 --> 01:25:21,658 What? 1695 01:25:21,658 --> 01:25:23,660 No. (grunts) 1696 01:25:23,660 --> 01:25:25,454 ♪ ♪ 1697 01:25:25,454 --> 01:25:26,913 BERT: Mom. 1698 01:25:26,913 --> 01:25:28,290 It's fine, Bert. 1699 01:25:28,290 --> 01:25:29,791 Everything's fine. 1700 01:25:29,791 --> 01:25:31,877 Okay. 1701 01:25:31,877 --> 01:25:33,795 Everybody, get up. 1702 01:25:33,795 --> 01:25:38,300 (singsongy): It's time for a murder. 1703 01:25:38,300 --> 01:25:40,886 Come on. Come on. You don't want to kill us. 1704 01:25:40,886 --> 01:25:42,220 You really don't. 1705 01:25:42,220 --> 01:25:44,389 Oh, yes, I do. 1706 01:25:44,389 --> 01:25:47,476 I really, really, really do. 1707 01:25:47,476 --> 01:25:49,186 And I'm gonna start with you. 1708 01:25:49,186 --> 01:25:50,520 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1709 01:25:50,520 --> 01:25:51,813 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1710 01:25:53,523 --> 01:25:55,233 You got to kill Aunt Linda first. 1711 01:25:55,233 --> 01:25:56,985 What the hell, Bert? 1712 01:25:56,985 --> 01:25:59,071 You want to squeeze in being a little shit 1713 01:25:59,071 --> 01:26:00,614 before you die, Bertrude? 1714 01:26:00,614 --> 01:26:02,240 - I say shoot him first. - BERT: What? 1715 01:26:02,240 --> 01:26:04,326 ALVA: Wait. No, no, no. Don't shoot him. 1716 01:26:04,326 --> 01:26:06,370 Don't shoot him first. And don't you call him 1717 01:26:06,370 --> 01:26:08,080 a little shit, you gold-digging bitch. 1718 01:26:08,080 --> 01:26:09,790 Okay. I changed my mind. 1719 01:26:09,790 --> 01:26:11,750 - Shoot the alcoholic bitch first. -Don't call my mom 1720 01:26:11,750 --> 01:26:13,835 - an alcoholic bitch. - Your mom's an alcoholic. 1721 01:26:13,835 --> 01:26:15,670 - I'm sorry. - You're a gold-digging bitch. 1722 01:26:15,670 --> 01:26:17,839 Oh, I'm a gold-digger, when I have a whole-ass career? 1723 01:26:17,839 --> 01:26:19,508 You're not even part of the fucking family. 1724 01:26:19,508 --> 01:26:22,260 - She's an engineer. - You know goddamn well... 1725 01:26:22,260 --> 01:26:23,637 Shut up! 1726 01:26:25,180 --> 01:26:27,349 (sighs) 1727 01:26:27,349 --> 01:26:31,436 Just like rats in a barrel. 1728 01:26:32,229 --> 01:26:34,398 Why don't you die with some dignity? 1729 01:26:34,398 --> 01:26:36,233 -(grunts) -(flame whooshes) 1730 01:26:36,233 --> 01:26:38,485 (yelling, grunting) 1731 01:26:39,444 --> 01:26:41,363 Get off of me! 1732 01:26:41,363 --> 01:26:43,115 ALVA: Okay, okay. 1733 01:26:43,115 --> 01:26:44,366 BERT: Fuck you! 1734 01:26:44,366 --> 01:26:46,952 LINDA: This is for yelling at my child! 1735 01:26:46,952 --> 01:26:48,370 ALVA: Creep! 1736 01:26:48,370 --> 01:26:49,913 That's for slapping me, motherfucker! 1737 01:26:49,913 --> 01:26:51,998 ALVA: This is for your dumb fucking hat! 1738 01:26:51,998 --> 01:26:54,418 (grunting, yelling continue) 1739 01:26:57,170 --> 01:26:59,297 (all panting) 1740 01:27:01,633 --> 01:27:03,301 Is he... 1741 01:27:03,301 --> 01:27:04,845 Is he dead? 1742 01:27:08,723 --> 01:27:10,600 Yeah. 1743 01:27:11,393 --> 01:27:13,019 Thanks, Linda. 1744 01:27:13,019 --> 01:27:16,231 Well, it's nice to do something as a family for a change. 1745 01:27:16,231 --> 01:27:17,399 (laughter) 1746 01:27:17,399 --> 01:27:19,109 -(grunts) -(screaming) -Oh, shit! 1747 01:27:19,109 --> 01:27:20,986 KRAMPUS: I'm gonna... (grunts) 1748 01:27:20,986 --> 01:27:23,572 (gurgling) 1749 01:27:25,073 --> 01:27:26,616 ALVA: That was for Morgan. 1750 01:27:26,616 --> 01:27:31,621 He may have been stupid, but he was very, very hot. 1751 01:27:32,998 --> 01:27:35,375 Oh. Trudy! 1752 01:27:35,375 --> 01:27:37,794 - Mommy! -(sighs, grunts) 1753 01:27:37,794 --> 01:27:39,421 Thank God, baby. 1754 01:27:39,421 --> 01:27:41,339 (sighs heavily) Are you okay? 1755 01:27:41,339 --> 01:27:43,091 I'm okay, Mommy. 1756 01:27:43,091 --> 01:27:44,259 Okay. 1757 01:27:44,259 --> 01:27:46,761 This is my friend, Santa. 1758 01:27:51,183 --> 01:27:53,268 What the fuck? 1759 01:27:53,268 --> 01:27:55,103 I can't thank you enough, Mister... 1760 01:27:55,103 --> 01:27:57,439 Claus. But please call me Santa. 1761 01:27:57,439 --> 01:27:58,815 Mm-hmm. 1762 01:27:58,815 --> 01:28:00,942 SANTA: You guys should get out of here. 1763 01:28:00,942 --> 01:28:02,402 It's dangerous. 1764 01:28:02,402 --> 01:28:04,738 They took my husband and her grandmother. 1765 01:28:06,573 --> 01:28:08,200 Anybody know how to work these gizmos? 1766 01:28:08,200 --> 01:28:09,534 I think so. 1767 01:28:09,534 --> 01:28:11,286 I used to hunt with my dad. 1768 01:28:11,286 --> 01:28:12,454 Ow. 1769 01:28:12,454 --> 01:28:14,122 Copy that. How's that looking? 1770 01:28:14,122 --> 01:28:16,958 - Yeah, I got it on lockdown. - Heads on a swivel, boys. 1771 01:28:16,958 --> 01:28:18,293 (gunfire) 1772 01:28:18,293 --> 01:28:19,920 - Incoming! - Heads up! 1773 01:28:19,920 --> 01:28:21,129 (gasps) 1774 01:28:21,129 --> 01:28:22,631 -(bullets whizzing) - Oh, oh! Who's shooting? 1775 01:28:22,631 --> 01:28:24,299 - Who's... -(yelps) 1776 01:28:24,299 --> 01:28:27,469 - PEPPERMINT: Cap, get down! - SCROOGE: Watch it! Watch it! 1777 01:28:28,303 --> 01:28:31,056 (gasping) 1778 01:28:31,056 --> 01:28:32,557 (grunts, sputters) 1779 01:28:32,557 --> 01:28:34,935 Gun 'em down. Mow them all down. 1780 01:28:36,811 --> 01:28:39,564 (whimpering) 1781 01:28:42,859 --> 01:28:44,653 (yells) 1782 01:28:44,653 --> 01:28:46,863 (gunfire continues) 1783 01:28:50,784 --> 01:28:53,620 - All right, let's get the fuck out of here. -Let's go. 1784 01:28:53,620 --> 01:28:56,122 - Go where? - Come on, move, you old bat. 1785 01:28:56,873 --> 01:28:58,833 GERTRUDE: Get your fucking hands off of me. 1786 01:29:00,710 --> 01:29:02,379 (grunts) 1787 01:29:04,339 --> 01:29:06,675 (engines starting) 1788 01:29:07,842 --> 01:29:08,969 (yells) 1789 01:29:08,969 --> 01:29:11,304 Oh! Oh, shit. 1790 01:29:11,304 --> 01:29:14,683 My balls! My fucking balls! 1791 01:29:18,853 --> 01:29:21,690 -(engine sputtering) -(grunting) 1792 01:29:23,233 --> 01:29:25,360 (screaming) 1793 01:29:31,324 --> 01:29:34,160 Ow, my balls! Why did you shoot me in the ball... 1794 01:29:35,120 --> 01:29:37,998 (choral Christmas music continues over speakers) 1795 01:29:37,998 --> 01:29:40,375 Oh, Jesus. 1796 01:29:40,375 --> 01:29:42,043 Sorry. 1797 01:29:42,043 --> 01:29:43,878 (panting) 1798 01:29:43,878 --> 01:29:46,548 Don't worry about us, Mr. Claus. We got this. 1799 01:29:46,548 --> 01:29:48,800 JASON: Who is that guy? 1800 01:29:48,800 --> 01:29:51,428 He said he was Mr. Claus. 1801 01:29:53,221 --> 01:29:55,265 - Fuck. Trudy. - No, no. 1802 01:29:55,265 --> 01:29:56,891 She's in the house. She's okay. 1803 01:29:56,891 --> 01:29:58,268 She's safe. 1804 01:29:58,268 --> 01:30:00,395 - Oh, thank God. - Yeah. 1805 01:30:00,395 --> 01:30:02,647 (both panting) 1806 01:30:04,065 --> 01:30:06,109 ♪ ♪ 1807 01:30:19,497 --> 01:30:21,124 (gun clicks) 1808 01:30:21,124 --> 01:30:22,584 LINDA: No, no. 1809 01:30:22,584 --> 01:30:25,253 - Oh... go, go, go, go, go. - No, no, no. Wait, wait. 1810 01:30:25,253 --> 01:30:27,505 (grunting and groaning) 1811 01:30:31,551 --> 01:30:33,845 (screaming) 1812 01:30:33,845 --> 01:30:35,055 (grunts) 1813 01:30:37,807 --> 01:30:39,768 (panting) 1814 01:30:44,230 --> 01:30:45,690 (grunting, panting) 1815 01:30:45,690 --> 01:30:48,109 (choral Christmas music continues over speakers) 1816 01:30:49,903 --> 01:30:52,322 -(whimpers) -(grunts) 1817 01:30:52,322 --> 01:30:55,033 (screaming) 1818 01:30:57,452 --> 01:30:59,621 ♪ ♪ 1819 01:30:59,621 --> 01:31:01,956 (engines buzzing nearby) 1820 01:31:07,045 --> 01:31:08,630 (yells) 1821 01:31:11,091 --> 01:31:13,510 Oh, shit! 1822 01:31:15,762 --> 01:31:18,556 - Ho, ho! -(engine revving) 1823 01:31:20,266 --> 01:31:21,476 Fuck! 1824 01:31:33,363 --> 01:31:36,282 (choral Christmas music playing over speakers) 1825 01:31:36,282 --> 01:31:38,118 (gasping weakly) 1826 01:31:41,538 --> 01:31:44,207 (straining, gasping) 1827 01:31:44,207 --> 01:31:45,542 (grunts) 1828 01:31:46,543 --> 01:31:48,545 (grunting) 1829 01:31:54,134 --> 01:31:55,510 (yelps) 1830 01:31:58,555 --> 01:32:00,807 (whimpers softly) 1831 01:32:05,061 --> 01:32:07,731 -(gasping weakly) - Fucking die. 1832 01:32:10,400 --> 01:32:12,652 (straining) 1833 01:32:16,948 --> 01:32:19,159 (Linda exhales sharply) 1834 01:32:19,159 --> 01:32:21,202 (coughing) 1835 01:32:22,620 --> 01:32:24,622 (choral Christmas music ends) 1836 01:32:24,622 --> 01:32:26,583 (coughing, gasping) 1837 01:32:26,583 --> 01:32:28,877 (grunting) 1838 01:32:30,545 --> 01:32:33,047 (panting) 1839 01:32:40,597 --> 01:32:42,849 ♪ ♪ 1840 01:32:55,111 --> 01:32:57,280 ♪ ♪ 1841 01:33:00,909 --> 01:33:02,786 SCROOGE: Come on. Come on. Come on. 1842 01:33:02,786 --> 01:33:06,080 Yeah, over here. Over here. 1843 01:33:06,080 --> 01:33:07,332 Santa! 1844 01:33:08,291 --> 01:33:10,126 Come on! 1845 01:33:10,126 --> 01:33:11,586 Yeah. 1846 01:33:11,586 --> 01:33:14,047 (engine revving) 1847 01:33:21,679 --> 01:33:23,431 (screaming) 1848 01:33:23,431 --> 01:33:25,141 (grunts) 1849 01:33:27,644 --> 01:33:30,605 (groaning, panting) 1850 01:33:34,734 --> 01:33:36,820 (grunting) 1851 01:33:36,820 --> 01:33:38,738 (bullets ricocheting) 1852 01:33:44,118 --> 01:33:45,995 (groaning) 1853 01:33:52,126 --> 01:33:53,753 (gun clicking) 1854 01:33:53,753 --> 01:33:55,380 (gasping) 1855 01:33:55,380 --> 01:33:56,631 Fuck. 1856 01:34:02,554 --> 01:34:05,265 (Santa groaning) 1857 01:34:07,517 --> 01:34:09,769 ♪ ♪ 1858 01:34:20,321 --> 01:34:22,365 You're real? 1859 01:34:23,741 --> 01:34:26,160 You're... him. 1860 01:34:29,163 --> 01:34:30,415 You're you. 1861 01:34:30,415 --> 01:34:33,126 That's what I've been trying to tell you. 1862 01:34:33,126 --> 01:34:36,504 The real goddamn Santa Claus. 1863 01:34:36,504 --> 01:34:38,965 This is not your night, pal. 1864 01:34:38,965 --> 01:34:42,093 Oh, I don't know. I think you're wrong. 1865 01:34:42,093 --> 01:34:45,513 I think my whole shitty life's built up to this moment. 1866 01:34:45,513 --> 01:34:46,890 Because when I kill you, 1867 01:34:46,890 --> 01:34:50,184 this whole goddamn holiday finally ends. 1868 01:34:51,936 --> 01:34:53,855 Whatever it takes... 1869 01:34:55,607 --> 01:34:57,692 ...Christmas dies tonight. 1870 01:34:57,692 --> 01:35:00,278 (yelling, grunting) 1871 01:35:04,699 --> 01:35:06,784 (engine revving) 1872 01:35:06,784 --> 01:35:07,869 (yells, whimpers) 1873 01:35:07,869 --> 01:35:09,078 (grunting) 1874 01:35:09,078 --> 01:35:10,580 (screams) 1875 01:35:10,580 --> 01:35:12,415 (grunting and groaning) 1876 01:35:19,881 --> 01:35:23,051 (both yelling) 1877 01:35:30,350 --> 01:35:32,727 (both panting, grunting) 1878 01:35:32,727 --> 01:35:34,938 (Santa coughing) 1879 01:35:38,441 --> 01:35:40,735 (grunting, panting) 1880 01:35:43,071 --> 01:35:44,906 (Scrooge chuckles) 1881 01:35:49,911 --> 01:35:51,579 Whoa! (grunts) 1882 01:35:51,579 --> 01:35:53,706 (laughs, grunts) 1883 01:35:53,706 --> 01:35:56,084 (grunting and groaning) 1884 01:35:59,921 --> 01:36:02,882 (yells in pain) 1885 01:36:07,553 --> 01:36:10,598 (song playing with indistinct chanted vocal) 1886 01:36:10,598 --> 01:36:13,059 (grunting and groaning continue) 1887 01:36:16,646 --> 01:36:19,774 ♪ ♪ 1888 01:36:33,287 --> 01:36:35,999 (screaming) 1889 01:36:40,962 --> 01:36:44,298 (Scrooge straining) 1890 01:36:47,552 --> 01:36:50,304 (both straining) 1891 01:36:52,515 --> 01:36:54,475 (yells in pain) 1892 01:36:57,311 --> 01:36:59,564 (laughs) 1893 01:37:03,860 --> 01:37:05,820 (screams) 1894 01:37:05,820 --> 01:37:09,032 (grunting and groaning continue) 1895 01:37:16,831 --> 01:37:19,417 The last Christmas. 1896 01:37:20,501 --> 01:37:23,379 (grunting) 1897 01:37:29,260 --> 01:37:31,888 Not if you still believe. 1898 01:37:33,681 --> 01:37:35,683 No! 1899 01:37:35,683 --> 01:37:38,519 (grunting, screaming) 1900 01:37:44,859 --> 01:37:47,987 (laughing) 1901 01:37:49,530 --> 01:37:51,532 (continues laughing) 1902 01:37:54,368 --> 01:37:57,205 (gunfire) 1903 01:38:02,418 --> 01:38:03,711 (Santa grunting) 1904 01:38:03,711 --> 01:38:07,381 I have no idea what the fuck is going on here. 1905 01:38:09,759 --> 01:38:11,886 But this ends now. 1906 01:38:16,808 --> 01:38:18,601 Damn right it does. 1907 01:38:20,561 --> 01:38:22,563 (engines buzzing) 1908 01:38:27,777 --> 01:38:29,946 LINDA: Trudy, be careful. 1909 01:38:31,239 --> 01:38:33,658 (panting, groaning) 1910 01:38:33,658 --> 01:38:35,576 TRUDY: Santa! 1911 01:38:35,576 --> 01:38:38,079 Oh, no. Santa. 1912 01:38:39,539 --> 01:38:41,082 Oh, no. 1913 01:38:44,127 --> 01:38:46,254 (Jason sighs) 1914 01:38:47,880 --> 01:38:50,049 You saved my daughter. 1915 01:38:50,842 --> 01:38:52,385 SANTA: No. 1916 01:38:53,177 --> 01:38:54,762 She saved me. 1917 01:38:54,762 --> 01:38:57,515 Help him. Please help him. 1918 01:38:57,515 --> 01:39:00,017 Honey, I don't think there's anything we can do. 1919 01:39:00,017 --> 01:39:01,269 SANTA: It's okay. It's okay. 1920 01:39:01,269 --> 01:39:03,604 It's too late for that. 1921 01:39:03,604 --> 01:39:05,940 Too late. 1922 01:39:06,732 --> 01:39:09,402 I'm cold. (whimpers) 1923 01:39:09,402 --> 01:39:11,654 I haven't felt cold in years. 1924 01:39:11,654 --> 01:39:13,698 We need to keep him warm. 1925 01:39:14,532 --> 01:39:16,951 All of the fires are going out. 1926 01:39:16,951 --> 01:39:19,245 We need to find something to burn. 1927 01:39:20,580 --> 01:39:22,123 I got an idea. 1928 01:39:25,042 --> 01:39:27,003 Whoa. 1929 01:39:28,546 --> 01:39:29,964 No. 1930 01:39:29,964 --> 01:39:32,133 No, no, no, no. No, Jason, no. 1931 01:39:32,133 --> 01:39:33,259 TRUDY: Please, Santa. 1932 01:39:33,259 --> 01:39:36,262 I don't want you to die. 1933 01:39:39,348 --> 01:39:41,058 ALVA: Jason, let's slow this down. 1934 01:39:41,058 --> 01:39:42,560 What are you doing? 1935 01:39:42,560 --> 01:39:45,855 I've lived longer than any man should ever live. 1936 01:39:45,855 --> 01:39:48,566 He's pretty much dead. What the hell is happening? 1937 01:39:48,566 --> 01:39:50,651 - You don't need to burn money. - JASON: Okay. More. Yeah. 1938 01:39:50,651 --> 01:39:54,113 You can't die, Santa. You have to get up. 1939 01:39:54,113 --> 01:39:56,657 I think I used up all my Christmas magic. 1940 01:39:57,658 --> 01:39:59,285 Sorry. 1941 01:40:01,329 --> 01:40:05,082 I'm s... I'm sorry I can't give you what you asked for. 1942 01:40:05,082 --> 01:40:06,667 (sniffling) 1943 01:40:06,667 --> 01:40:08,961 Take that. Take that. 1944 01:40:08,961 --> 01:40:10,504 TRUDY: But you did. 1945 01:40:13,257 --> 01:40:15,593 Santa, please don't die. 1946 01:40:15,593 --> 01:40:18,137 Wake up. Wake up. 1947 01:40:18,137 --> 01:40:20,806 We need to get him close to the fire. 1948 01:40:20,806 --> 01:40:22,683 Jason. 1949 01:40:23,434 --> 01:40:25,394 (crying): Just wake up. 1950 01:40:26,437 --> 01:40:27,813 Please. 1951 01:40:27,813 --> 01:40:29,690 No. 1952 01:40:34,028 --> 01:40:37,281 Oh, I am so, so sorry. 1953 01:40:42,203 --> 01:40:44,914 - This man... -(Trudy crying) 1954 01:40:45,748 --> 01:40:49,585 This brave, brave man, whoever he was... 1955 01:40:49,585 --> 01:40:50,878 He's Santa. 1956 01:40:50,878 --> 01:40:53,130 The real Santa. He is. 1957 01:40:53,130 --> 01:40:56,217 And I still believe in him. 1958 01:40:57,051 --> 01:40:59,720 I'll always believe in you, Santa. 1959 01:41:04,350 --> 01:41:06,310 I believe in him, too. 1960 01:41:09,313 --> 01:41:12,149 He saved Trudy. 1961 01:41:12,149 --> 01:41:14,402 He saved our family. 1962 01:41:16,362 --> 01:41:18,698 What's realer than that? 1963 01:41:22,660 --> 01:41:24,453 Then maybe... 1964 01:41:26,956 --> 01:41:29,083 I believe in him, too. 1965 01:41:29,917 --> 01:41:31,460 (sighs) So do I. 1966 01:41:32,503 --> 01:41:35,840 Oh, shit. 1967 01:41:35,840 --> 01:41:37,967 I guess... 1968 01:41:37,967 --> 01:41:40,052 I guess I do, too. 1969 01:41:40,052 --> 01:41:41,887 ALVA: Fuck me. 1970 01:41:41,887 --> 01:41:43,681 I believe, too. 1971 01:41:48,811 --> 01:41:50,855 ♪ ♪ 1972 01:41:52,940 --> 01:41:54,108 (coughs) 1973 01:41:54,108 --> 01:41:55,651 (gasps) Oh, my God. 1974 01:41:55,651 --> 01:41:56,819 Santa! 1975 01:41:58,279 --> 01:41:59,989 (Santa grunting) 1976 01:41:59,989 --> 01:42:01,824 (panting) 1977 01:42:01,824 --> 01:42:03,367 JASON: You... 1978 01:42:05,119 --> 01:42:07,163 You were dead. 1979 01:42:07,955 --> 01:42:10,541 Christmas magic. 1980 01:42:10,541 --> 01:42:13,169 I still don't really understand... 1981 01:42:13,169 --> 01:42:15,129 how it works. 1982 01:42:16,714 --> 01:42:19,467 (Santa chuckling) 1983 01:42:20,760 --> 01:42:22,678 Thank you. 1984 01:42:22,678 --> 01:42:24,722 I don't know how we can ever repay you. 1985 01:42:24,722 --> 01:42:26,891 Well, you brought me back from the dead, 1986 01:42:26,891 --> 01:42:28,476 so we'll call it even. 1987 01:42:29,643 --> 01:42:30,853 (scoffs) Even? 1988 01:42:30,853 --> 01:42:33,522 We just burned half a million dollars. 1989 01:42:34,357 --> 01:42:35,983 - Look, Santa! - Hmm? 1990 01:42:35,983 --> 01:42:37,360 Look who came. 1991 01:42:37,360 --> 01:42:39,820 ♪ ♪ 1992 01:42:39,820 --> 01:42:41,864 (reindeer grunting) 1993 01:42:44,533 --> 01:42:48,079 Now you show up, huh? 1994 01:42:48,079 --> 01:42:49,538 You leave me here to die, 1995 01:42:49,538 --> 01:42:51,791 come back after all the work's done, huh? 1996 01:42:51,791 --> 01:42:54,543 You know what? I should make you guys into a stew 1997 01:42:54,543 --> 01:42:56,796 and feed you to the elves! 1998 01:42:56,796 --> 01:42:58,756 (reindeer grunting) 1999 01:42:58,756 --> 01:43:03,511 Yes, Blitzen! Yes, I'm talking to you! 2000 01:43:03,511 --> 01:43:05,638 You, too, Prancer. 2001 01:43:11,018 --> 01:43:13,062 You got my sack. 2002 01:43:13,062 --> 01:43:17,358 My spare... You went home and you got my spare sack? 2003 01:43:19,235 --> 01:43:21,987 Oh, God, I can't stay mad at you guys. 2004 01:43:21,987 --> 01:43:23,572 I... (sniffles) 2005 01:43:23,572 --> 01:43:27,952 (chuckling): Aw. I can't. I can't. 2006 01:43:27,952 --> 01:43:30,704 Aw. (chuckles) 2007 01:43:31,747 --> 01:43:33,874 Aw. 2008 01:43:33,874 --> 01:43:35,418 (sighs) 2009 01:43:38,754 --> 01:43:40,214 (chuckles) 2010 01:43:44,760 --> 01:43:46,303 Hello, beautiful. 2011 01:43:46,303 --> 01:43:48,222 Skullcrusher! 2012 01:43:55,396 --> 01:43:58,732 (takes deep breath) 2013 01:44:01,235 --> 01:44:02,903 Guess this is goodbye. 2014 01:44:02,903 --> 01:44:04,363 I got to go. 2015 01:44:05,239 --> 01:44:07,366 Do you have to? 2016 01:44:08,117 --> 01:44:10,661 (sighs) 2017 01:44:10,661 --> 01:44:12,830 It's Christmas Eve, and there's a lot of... 2018 01:44:12,830 --> 01:44:14,540 boys and girls on the nice list 2019 01:44:14,540 --> 01:44:16,959 that want their presents, you know? 2020 01:44:19,086 --> 01:44:20,754 Thank you. 2021 01:44:21,755 --> 01:44:23,340 For what? 2022 01:44:23,340 --> 01:44:25,009 For believing in me. 2023 01:44:25,009 --> 01:44:28,345 For reminding me that Christmas still matters. 2024 01:44:29,930 --> 01:44:32,391 And that I still... 2025 01:44:32,391 --> 01:44:34,768 matter. 2026 01:44:34,768 --> 01:44:36,312 (sighs) 2027 01:44:36,312 --> 01:44:38,481 You gave me my "ho, ho, ho" back. 2028 01:44:41,192 --> 01:44:43,068 (chuckling) 2029 01:44:43,068 --> 01:44:45,279 ♪ ♪ 2030 01:44:48,365 --> 01:44:50,701 All right. Get out of here. 2031 01:44:54,413 --> 01:44:57,333 Merry Christmas! 2032 01:44:59,877 --> 01:45:01,128 Hyah! 2033 01:45:01,128 --> 01:45:04,507 Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! 2034 01:45:04,507 --> 01:45:06,634 Now, Prancer and Vixen! 2035 01:45:06,634 --> 01:45:10,137 On, Comet! On, Cupid! 2036 01:45:10,137 --> 01:45:13,140 On, Donner and Blitzen! 2037 01:45:13,140 --> 01:45:16,727 Come on, you beautiful bastards! 2038 01:45:16,727 --> 01:45:20,105 We've got some work to do! 2039 01:45:20,105 --> 01:45:23,150 Hyah! 2040 01:45:23,150 --> 01:45:25,861 Ho, ho, ho! 2041 01:45:25,861 --> 01:45:29,073 Merry Christmas! 2042 01:45:29,073 --> 01:45:31,325 ♪ ♪ 2043 01:45:32,826 --> 01:45:35,788 ("Merry Christmas Everybody" by Slade playing) 2044 01:45:40,000 --> 01:45:45,965 ♪ Are you hanging up your stocking on your wall? ♪ 2045 01:45:47,925 --> 01:45:53,847 ♪ It's the time that every Santa has a ball ♪ 2046 01:45:55,599 --> 01:45:59,478 ♪ Does he ride a red-nosed reindeer? ♪ 2047 01:45:59,478 --> 01:46:03,023 ♪ Does a ton-up on his sleigh? ♪ 2048 01:46:03,023 --> 01:46:08,946 ♪ Do the fairies keep him sober for a day? ♪ 2049 01:46:09,738 --> 01:46:12,199 ♪ So here it is ♪ 2050 01:46:12,199 --> 01:46:14,201 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 2051 01:46:14,201 --> 01:46:18,706 ♪ Everybody's having fun ♪ 2052 01:46:18,706 --> 01:46:22,167 ♪ Look to the future now ♪ 2053 01:46:22,167 --> 01:46:29,174 ♪ It's only just begun ♪ 2054 01:46:29,174 --> 01:46:35,139 ♪ Are you waiting for the family to arrive? ♪ 2055 01:46:37,099 --> 01:46:39,059 ♪ Are you sure you got ♪ 2056 01:46:39,059 --> 01:46:42,771 ♪ The room to spare inside? ♪ 2057 01:46:44,481 --> 01:46:48,027 ♪ Does your granny always tell ya ♪ 2058 01:46:48,027 --> 01:46:51,822 ♪ That the old songs are the best? ♪ 2059 01:46:51,822 --> 01:46:55,034 ♪ Then she's up and rock-and-rolling ♪ 2060 01:46:55,034 --> 01:46:57,369 ♪ With the rest ♪ 2061 01:46:57,369 --> 01:46:59,538 Hey, yo! What's Gucci, squad fam? 2062 01:46:59,538 --> 01:47:02,625 It's the Bert Locker, living the dream. 2063 01:47:02,625 --> 01:47:04,710 You know what? See this guy? Dead as hell. 2064 01:47:04,710 --> 01:47:06,503 Santa's real, all right? 2065 01:47:06,503 --> 01:47:08,380 Don't end up on the naughty list. 2066 01:47:08,380 --> 01:47:09,632 Do better. 2067 01:47:09,632 --> 01:47:11,759 Bert Lightstone out. 2068 01:47:11,759 --> 01:47:13,802 ♪ So here it is ♪ 2069 01:47:13,802 --> 01:47:15,804 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 2070 01:47:15,804 --> 01:47:20,351 ♪ Everybody's having fun ♪ 2071 01:47:20,351 --> 01:47:23,646 ♪ Look to the future now ♪ 2072 01:47:23,646 --> 01:47:29,818 ♪ It's only just begun ♪ 2073 01:47:29,818 --> 01:47:32,279 ♪ So here it is ♪ 2074 01:47:32,279 --> 01:47:34,281 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 2075 01:47:34,281 --> 01:47:37,326 ♪ Everybody's having fun ♪ 2076 01:47:37,326 --> 01:47:41,914 -♪ It's Christmas! ♪ -♪ Look to the future now ♪ 2077 01:47:41,914 --> 01:47:49,630 ♪ It's only just begun. ♪ 2078 01:47:49,630 --> 01:47:51,298 (song ends) 2079 01:47:51,298 --> 01:47:52,966 ("Santa Has Had Enough of Christmas" by Dom Lewis plays) 2080 01:47:52,966 --> 01:47:54,677 ♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪ 2081 01:47:54,677 --> 01:47:56,679 ♪ Let's be good ♪ 2082 01:47:56,679 --> 01:48:00,808 -♪ This coming yuletide ♪ -♪ Ding dong verily the sky ♪ 2083 01:48:00,808 --> 01:48:03,352 ♪ Or you'll see ♪ 2084 01:48:03,352 --> 01:48:08,440 ♪ Kris Kringle's cruel side ♪ 2085 01:48:08,440 --> 01:48:11,860 ♪ Santa's getting mad, better not be bad ♪ 2086 01:48:11,860 --> 01:48:14,988 ♪ Gonna go to bed on time this Christmas ♪ 2087 01:48:14,988 --> 01:48:17,991 ♪ We don't want to be on that list ♪ 2088 01:48:17,991 --> 01:48:21,036 -♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪ -♪ Unhappy! ♪ 2089 01:48:21,036 --> 01:48:24,581 ♪ He's told you once, he's told you twice ♪ 2090 01:48:24,581 --> 01:48:27,376 ♪ Too much naughty, not enough nice ♪ 2091 01:48:27,376 --> 01:48:32,881 ♪ Santa Claus has had enough of Christmas ♪ 2092 01:48:34,007 --> 01:48:36,969 ♪ Where's the love and where's the joy? ♪ 2093 01:48:36,969 --> 01:48:40,139 ♪ Always cash and never a toy ♪ 2094 01:48:40,139 --> 01:48:45,519 ♪ Santa Claus has had enough of Christmas ♪ 2095 01:48:45,519 --> 01:48:51,817 ♪ Ah... ♪ 2096 01:48:53,444 --> 01:48:55,362 ♪ Santa's getting mad ♪ 2097 01:48:55,362 --> 01:48:57,489 -♪ Don't you make Santa crazy ♪ -♪ Better not be bad ♪ 2098 01:48:57,489 --> 01:49:00,159 -♪ Gonna go to bed on time this Christmas ♪ -♪ Baby ♪ 2099 01:49:00,159 --> 01:49:02,745 ♪ We don't want to be on that list ♪ 2100 01:49:02,745 --> 01:49:06,415 -♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪ -♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ♪ 2101 01:49:06,415 --> 01:49:09,585 ♪ If you don't want ♪ 2102 01:49:09,585 --> 01:49:12,671 ♪ Coal this Christmas ♪ 2103 01:49:12,671 --> 01:49:15,799 ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪ 2104 01:49:15,799 --> 01:49:18,969 ♪ Make sure you keep Santa jolly ♪ 2105 01:49:18,969 --> 01:49:22,139 ♪ Don't make his reindeer ♪ 2106 01:49:22,139 --> 01:49:26,810 ♪ Cause you some pain, dear ♪ 2107 01:49:26,810 --> 01:49:29,980 ♪ Santa's getting mad, better not be bad ♪ 2108 01:49:29,980 --> 01:49:33,233 ♪ Gonna go to bed on time this Christmas ♪ 2109 01:49:33,233 --> 01:49:36,195 ♪ We don't want to be on that list ♪ 2110 01:49:36,195 --> 01:49:39,573 -♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪ -♪ Ooh-ooh... ♪ 2111 01:49:39,573 --> 01:49:42,367 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 2112 01:49:42,367 --> 01:49:44,036 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 2113 01:49:44,036 --> 01:49:47,539 ♪ Don't make him crazy ♪ 2114 01:49:47,539 --> 01:49:48,916 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 2115 01:49:48,916 --> 01:49:52,085 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 2116 01:49:52,085 --> 01:49:55,088 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 2117 01:49:55,088 --> 01:49:58,342 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 2118 01:49:58,342 --> 01:50:01,428 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 2119 01:50:01,428 --> 01:50:03,222 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 2120 01:50:03,222 --> 01:50:06,433 ♪ Hark, the herald angels sing ♪ 2121 01:50:06,433 --> 01:50:09,102 ♪ Dashing through the snow ♪ 2122 01:50:09,102 --> 01:50:10,813 ♪ On the first day of Christmas ♪ 2123 01:50:10,813 --> 01:50:12,397 ♪ My true love gave to me ♪ 2124 01:50:12,397 --> 01:50:15,192 ♪ Good King Wenceslas looked out ♪ 2125 01:50:15,192 --> 01:50:18,111 ♪ On the Feast of Stephen ♪ 2126 01:50:18,111 --> 01:50:21,240 -♪ Jingle bells. ♪ -(song ends) 2127 01:50:21,240 --> 01:50:23,283 ♪ ♪ 2128 01:50:43,971 --> 01:50:46,765 ♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪ 2129 01:50:46,765 --> 01:50:50,102 ♪ In heaven, the bells are ringing ♪ 2130 01:50:50,102 --> 01:50:52,145 ♪ ♪ 2131 01:51:09,580 --> 01:51:17,671 ♪ Glo-o-o-oria ♪ 2132 01:51:17,671 --> 01:51:19,840 ♪ Hosanna ♪ 2133 01:51:19,840 --> 01:51:27,806 ♪ In excelsis. ♪ 2134 01:51:27,806 --> 01:51:37,774 (music ends) 134704