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1
00:00:02,470 --> 00:00:03,570
Table for two.
2
00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:05,774
And don't worry, he just went.
3
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:09,036
So did the guy at booth three.
(laughs)
4
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:13,282
Max, that cop has
a drug-sniffing dog.
5
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:16,754
So, it was nice knowing you.
6
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:18,594
(gasps)
7
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:20,389
What's that, now?
8
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,791
-You're moving out?
-Max, put that away!
9
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:27,433
It smells like Willie Nelson's
bandana drawer in here.
10
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:30,831
Max, have you seen
the olicepay ogday?
11
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,104
Uh, that pot was too strong.
12
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,344
There's a chipmunk
talking to me.
13
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,799
Heavens, that's
a drug-sniffing dog!
14
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:40,507
Earl will spend the rest
of his life behind bars.
15
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,711
So, like, two weeks?
16
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:46,384
Earl, heads up.
Narc dog at 1:00.
17
00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:48,154
Or it might be 6:00.
18
00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:51,152
But it's definitely 420.
19
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,245
So, she can bring
that dog in here,
20
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:57,557
but I can't bring
my emotional support hooker.
21
00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:00,391
I can't watch a dog
tear Earl to pieces.
22
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:03,158
Hey there, fella.
Sit.
23
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:04,767
All right,
now give me that paw.
24
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:07,738
Now here's what I got for you.
There you go.
25
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,365
I have a way with dogs.
26
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,477
Well, my marijuana biscuits do.
27
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,749
That's why I call them
Hush Puppies.
28
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,608
Hey, Han, if it's cool,
me and the dog
29
00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:22,717
are gonna go see
the new Star Wars movie.
30
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:25,390
(Peter Bjorn and John)
* Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
31
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,619
(cash register bell dings)
32
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:30,164
* Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
33
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:40,198
Max, guess what Bobby and I
are doing tomorrow night?
34
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:42,174
Where have I been dying to go?
35
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:44,843
Besides a doctor's office
that's not in a Chipotle.
36
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:48,812
Sorry, Dr. Pizza Hut
has a waiting list.
37
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:52,551
Hey, everybody!
38
00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:59,553
Oh, I'm worried
that Barbara's not smart.
39
00:01:59,587 --> 00:02:01,787
Yeah, she doesn't even
return my e-mails.
40
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:04,862
I think she has Oleg's DNA.
41
00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:07,762
So do most of the chairs
in here.
42
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:10,695
That's why I bring my chair
from home every day.
43
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,431
I mean, it's awkward
on the subway,
44
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:15,896
but I don't wanna sit
on those seats either.
45
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:18,306
Sophie, don't blame me.
My family's very smart.
46
00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:20,269
We won Family Feud in Ukraine,
47
00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:23,808
and it takes intelligence
to kill another family.
48
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,314
Who are we kidding?
49
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:28,916
You're a gorgeous moron.
50
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:31,349
But what are we gonna do
with a dumb baby?
51
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:33,285
Maybe we should ask Han.
52
00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:35,661
He's a dumb baby.
53
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,859
Hey, don't call Han
a dumb baby.
54
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,531
He managed to pull
that stupid vest
55
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,700
over his giant potato head
all by himself.
56
00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:46,830
Nope.
I had to help him.
57
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:49,237
Starting to think the Splenda
packet I came out for
58
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:51,940
wasn't worth it.
59
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:56,412
-Hey, gorgeous.
-Hello, yourself, beautiful.
60
00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:58,954
Bobby, great news--guess what
we're doing tomorrow night?
61
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,219
Tomorrow night?
I can't.
62
00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:03,449
I have a hobby that I haven't
told you about
63
00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:06,254
because I don't think
it's something you'll like.
64
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:10,757
Oh, so is your hobby getting to
the point of a story quickly?
65
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,431
It's definitely
not acknowledging
66
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:15,530
my new Caesar salad recipe.
67
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:16,503
Still waiting.
68
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,670
Still nauseous.
69
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:22,499
Well, I bet you Bobby's into
doing dead people.
70
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:25,606
Yeah, he just has that look.
71
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,379
Bobby, for the love of God,
just tell me.
72
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,838
Whatever hobby you have,
it can't be worse than that.
73
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:32,807
Fine, Caroline, I'm just gonna
come out and say it.
74
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,376
I like to bowl.
75
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:36,346
And you're sure you don't wanna
76
00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,254
go with the dead people thing?
77
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:39,386
But bowling's just
a hobby, right?
78
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:40,650
Something you only do--
79
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,358
Every Tuesday night.
80
00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:44,730
I'm on a team.
I have a locker at the alley.
81
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:47,398
And that tattoo
I told you was the moon,
82
00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:48,958
it's a bowling ball.
83
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:50,526
Why didn't you tell me?
84
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,274
We don't talk about me a lot.
85
00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:54,771
I thought it would
be more important
86
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:57,272
to tell you about my nut allergy
when I had the floor.
87
00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:59,465
You have a nut allergy?
88
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:02,837
Bowler?
Nice!
89
00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:04,706
I was on a bowling team
in juvie.
90
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,745
We were called
The Girls Who Escaped
91
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:09,320
when the Guards Took Us
to the Bowling Alley.
92
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:10,680
That'd be hard
to put on a shirt.
93
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:13,518
Oh, we didn't wear shirts.
94
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,864
Caroline, I knew bowling
wouldn't be your thing.
95
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:19,029
You don't pronounce any
of the Ns in Au Bon Pain.
96
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,729
That's because it's
(in French accent) Au Bon Pain.
97
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,962
We can have separate things.
98
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:26,427
Bobby, you know what?
Part of being in a relationship
99
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:29,437
is being open
to trying new things.
100
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:33,640
And since I'm not ready to try
being on top yet,
101
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,644
I'm gonna come watch
you bowl tomorrow.
102
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,546
Really?
Okay, great.
103
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:38,978
Hey, Max, you wanna come too?
104
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,982
Got some cute guys
on my bowling team.
105
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:42,824
Well, just some guys
that aren't that fat.
106
00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:44,420
It's a bowling team.
107
00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:47,762
Beer-based recreation?
Men with curves?
108
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:50,858
Are we going to
a bowling alley or heaven?
109
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:56,661
Max, I'm ready to go bowling.
110
00:04:58,366 --> 00:05:00,066
You look like you're ready
for a greaser
111
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,740
to feel you up
at Make Out Point.
112
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:04,670
I've waited long enough
to have a boyfriend.
113
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,405
I can learn to like anything.
114
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:07,880
I mean,
it's not like it's bowling.
115
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:10,608
(gasps)
Oh, my God, it's bowling!
116
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,614
Well, I loved it.
117
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:15,746
But I hung up my back brace
after I bowled a 300.
118
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:18,623
I wanted to go out on top,
like Rob Schneider.
119
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,122
(knock at door)
120
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:23,623
And from what I hear,
apparently not you.
121
00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,463
Hi, girls.
122
00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:30,655
Yeah, Barbara's even dumber
than I thought.
123
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:33,468
Yeah, she had a play date
with the baby next door.
124
00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:36,401
And he can read.
125
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:37,537
Jimmy?
126
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,941
He's 37.
127
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:42,043
He's a little person.
128
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:44,605
And a tax attorney.
129
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:49,445
Well, I did think it was odd
that he lived alone.
130
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,123
We're taking Barbara bowling.
131
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:53,121
Between the flashing lights
and the fist fights,
132
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:55,123
nothing's more stimulating
for a baby's brain
133
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:57,085
than a bowling alley.
134
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,834
How about a book?
135
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,789
On bowling?
136
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:08,543
So, this is a bowling alley.
137
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:09,999
This actually isn't so bad.
(bowling pins clatter)
138
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,007
What was that?
139
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:15,039
The sound of people
going nowhere.
140
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,735
Hey!
141
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:19,747
If you're here for the
sock hop, it was 40 years ago.
142
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,450
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
You look sexy.
143
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:23,622
Thank you.
I'm here to support you
144
00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,091
because this is what you love.
145
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:26,588
And what you love, I love.
(bowling pins clatter)
146
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,960
That seriously has to stop.
147
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:31,059
Hey, this is Frank.
He's the star of our team.
148
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:32,461
Tell 'em about yourself, Frank.
149
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,703
Well, I'm the star of our team.
150
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:35,998
I also enjoy dinner.
151
00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,899
Yes!
Cute and dumb.
152
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,632
Where have you been all my life?
153
00:06:40,668 --> 00:06:43,638
Well, I was in high school
for ten years.
154
00:06:43,671 --> 00:06:44,971
All right, let's bowl.
(bowling pins clatter)
155
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:47,035
Whoo!
156
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:50,544
We're going towards the sound?
(bowling pins clatter)
157
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:57,847
Wow.
A curtain on the sex booth?
158
00:06:57,885 --> 00:07:00,445
Classy place.
They had the same thing
159
00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:02,758
on the sex booth where we voted.
160
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:04,730
You mean tried to vote.
161
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,828
I mean, I barely started
pulling your lever
162
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:09,160
before they kicked us out.
163
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,696
Barbara, Barbara,
what do you think?
164
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:14,602
You feel smarter yet?
165
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,595
You know what?
This baby's harder to read
166
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:21,137
than Chelsea Handler's memoir.
167
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:24,954
Oh, look, Oleg.
She likes the claw machine.
168
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:27,048
This is the first thing
she's been interested in
169
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:30,480
since she saw that lady fall
down the stairs in our building.
170
00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:32,818
(laughs)
That was hilarious.
171
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:36,523
She was carrying
a casserole bowl.
172
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,187
You know, I am gonna
win her a stuffed animal
173
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:40,725
and show her
we may not be geniuses,
174
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:44,731
but damn it, we can
operate tiny cranes.
175
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:47,065
Now what's this knobby thing do?
176
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:51,706
So this is the rest of our team.
Bernie, Lynette,
177
00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:53,639
there's Frank again,
who's currently trying
178
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:56,714
to drink a Sprite
through a wrapped straw.
179
00:07:56,744 --> 00:07:59,984
So cute how he doesn't
know stuff.
180
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:02,053
And these are the bowling wives.
No offense, Wayne.
181
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:04,522
Oh, none taken.
I'm a pair of sensible earrings
182
00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:06,752
away from being my mother.
183
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:09,657
So this is the practice for
the title game tomorrow night.
184
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,890
We win that, we get to go
to the championships in Detroit.
185
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:15,826
We win that,
we get to leave Detroit.
186
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:18,273
Oh, cool, I still have to pick
up my last check from Chrysler.
187
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,628
He was my pimp.
188
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,738
Uh, do the bowling wives
have to go to that--
189
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:24,200
get to come to that?
190
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:25,837
Sure, that'd be great.
191
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:29,113
This could be our thing.
You could be my bowling wife.
192
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,842
Before I say yes,
is there any way
193
00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:33,078
the bar here serves white wine?
194
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:38,122
Well, this is what couples
do for each other, right?
195
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:39,951
I'm sure your spouses
support you
196
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:42,017
in whatever's important to you.
197
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:45,225
Bernie missed my swearing in
as a Federal judge last week.
198
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:48,598
But he bowled a 180,
so it was worth it.
199
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:51,899
Today's my birthday.
I'm one year cancer free.
200
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:55,772
Lynette didn't even know
I was sick.
201
00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:58,073
Let's go, Frank.
Shake it for mama!
202
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:04,749
Those ten years in high school
did nothing for him.
203
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,654
(cheering)
204
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,187
I'm up.
Good luck two-step.
205
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:18,062
* Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
206
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:22,061
Let's go, Bobby!
Do a good jobby!
207
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:26,325
If Frank does a good jobby,
I might just give him one.
208
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:29,896
B-O-B-B-Y, I could be his alibi.
209
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:32,167
'Cause he's bowling.
He's bowling.
210
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,008
(cheering)
211
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:38,814
Hey, hey.
You wanna cut that out?
212
00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:40,976
We want them to lose.
If they win tomorrow,
213
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,924
the season goes on
for two more months.
214
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:45,790
Haven't we already
been here two months?
215
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,259
The foot spray plays games
with your mind.
216
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:54,259
Max, can you come sniff me?
217
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,704
I was hoping the sewer smell
from our shower
218
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:59,070
would cover the stink
from the bowling alley,
219
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:02,269
but I think they just
joined forces.
220
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,872
If you keep smelling like
sewers and bowling alleys,
221
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:06,905
we're gonna have to have sex.
222
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,880
Well, unfortunately for you,
223
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,039
I won't be smelling like
a bowling alley anymore
224
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,948
because I'm gonna tell Bobby
that bowling
225
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,280
should be his thing.
226
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:17,024
And waiting for him cutely
at home will be mine.
227
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:19,850
Wow.
Onto something interesting,
228
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:21,717
Frank came over last night.
229
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,685
You guys had sex?
230
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:26,094
I didn't hear you
ring your sex bell.
231
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,696
Well, we tried to,
but he just seemed confused
232
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:30,699
so I let him go to sleep.
233
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,831
But I did put
those hands to work.
234
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:35,836
I didn't hear
your hand stuff buzzer.
235
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,299
I had him work on my laces.
236
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:40,207
You didn't hear my laces kazoo?
237
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,210
Hey, Max?
238
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,952
I got all the knots
out of your shoes.
239
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,778
If I can teach him how to have
sex and how to climb onto a bed,
240
00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:50,015
I'm locking this down.
241
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:52,450
Hey, thought I'd surprise you,
bring you some coffee.
242
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,285
-Oh.
-Bobby, what are you doing here?
243
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,821
This isn't the bowling alley.
244
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,957
Well, I'm glad I found him.
His mom was looking for him.
245
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,932
Come on, Frank, let's go.
We gotta get ready for the game.
246
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:03,001
Bye.
I'll see you later at the alley.
247
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,430
No--okay.
248
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:08,874
So, can I call you?
(crunching)
249
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:11,872
-Ow!
-(gasps)
250
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:14,705
Please tell me that wasn't
his bowling hand.
251
00:11:14,742 --> 00:11:16,112
Caroline, what did
you do to Frank?
252
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:17,213
He's our best player.
253
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,484
It was totally an accident.
254
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,482
I support your hobby.
I was looking forward
255
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,024
to coming tonight and not
waiting here, cutely.
256
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:25,851
I'm fine.
257
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:28,386
Is my pinky supposed to be
my longest finger?
258
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:30,421
What are we gonna do?
259
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:33,427
Well, like I told the producers
of Deadliest Catch,
260
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:37,130
looks like Captain Max
is coming out of retirement.
261
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:40,434
Good thing I still have
my bowling glove.
262
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:43,237
Max, that's an oven mitt.
263
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,210
That's how good I am.
264
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,950
No pressure,
but if you blow this,
265
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:54,880
I may never get married.
266
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:58,845
Oh, please, I once had to bowl
to get out of North Korea.
267
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,923
Max Black, Max Black!
268
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:04,315
She bowled to get
her freedom back.
269
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:07,997
That is a very specific cheer.
270
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:08,958
(grunts)
271
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:13,004
(cheering)
272
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:16,838
Shabooya!
273
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,470
You like that, suckers?
274
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:23,035
Bowling is not just for guys
with their third DUI anymore.
275
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,006
Max, that was amazing.
276
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:28,075
The strike, I mean--what you're
doing now is very off-putting.
277
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:30,345
Well, it makes more sense
if you imagine she's riding
278
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:32,993
a very small unicorn
named Tito.
279
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:36,824
-Oh, yeah, yeah.
-Yeah.
280
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,926
Look at this poor sucker.
281
00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:45,532
I wasted $400 in quarters
yesterday on this thing.
282
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:47,525
Good luck, kid.
(laughs)
283
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,370
Oh.
He won.
284
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:55,835
Well, between Earl's
claw-like hand
285
00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:59,506
and the fact that Han was born
in one of these machines,
286
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:02,576
we've got a dream team here.
287
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:06,415
Now this is our Ocean's 1 1/2.
288
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:09,823
Now, you promised, if I win
Barbara the stuffed animal,
289
00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:12,427
you'll come to my live action
Clue party.
290
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,429
I'll be playing Professor Plum.
291
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:19,201
Reimagined as an English dandy
with a nose for trouble.
292
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:23,072
Great, and I'll play the butler
who doesn't show up.
293
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:24,543
I mean, we're not going, right?
294
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,571
both: No!
295
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:28,576
You know I can hear you?
296
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:30,538
Well, then you know
we're not going.
297
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,275
Max, Max, she's got spunk!
298
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:37,224
And she's only slightly drunk.
299
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:40,190
I haven't been slightly drunk
in five beers.
300
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:46,464
(cheering)
301
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,263
I think we got this.
302
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,055
Thanks for horribly
maiming Frank.
303
00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:52,297
Two more pins
and we're going to Detroit.
304
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,372
(sighs)
305
00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:56,301
Waiting for my ball to drop.
306
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,136
Story of my life.
307
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,411
This guy knows
what I'm talking about.
308
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,440
No, I don't.
309
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:04,135
Lemme get the ball for you, Max.
310
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,307
Look, like I said to you
at that all-you-can-eat
311
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:09,446
Indian buffet, unless you wanna
get bit, get out of the way.
312
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:12,492
And like I said to you
at the Indian buffet,
313
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,449
I just want to be part of this.
314
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:17,057
(crunching)
(screams)
315
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,930
Damn it, my fingies!
316
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:20,559
Max, I'm sorry!
317
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:23,363
-Caroline, what did you do?
-(groaning)
318
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:24,896
You're doing more damage
to the team
319
00:14:24,932 --> 00:14:26,002
than when we tried
to get separate checks
320
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:28,143
at Macaroni Grill.
321
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:31,438
Hey, if I don't drink,
I don't pay.
322
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:35,411
Eh, this was
my pickle-snatching hand.
323
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,342
Like I said
at the Indian buffet,
324
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:40,247
I think we might
need an ambulance.
325
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,210
(yells)
326
00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:51,687
Wow, that was the craziest
woman's room ever.
327
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:56,504
It was filled with
urinals and men.
328
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:59,429
Wait a minute.
329
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:01,526
Hey, did you get the stuffed
animal for Barbara yet?
330
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:04,538
No, but something more
impressive happened.
331
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,371
And we're still not sure how.
332
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:21,386
Like I said when I was
watching the OA,
333
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:25,331
what the hell am I looking at?
334
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:29,058
On the bright side, maybe she's
not as dumb as you thought.
335
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:34,326
That claw machine is harder to
get into than my neighbor Irene.
336
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,137
We looked away for two seconds.
337
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,409
Some 12-year-olds
were making fun of Han,
338
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,108
so we piled on.
339
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:43,640
We gotta get her out of there.
340
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:46,746
All right.
I'll keep her entertained
341
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:49,719
and you guys sneak up
behind her with the claw.
342
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:54,292
Max, so you don't think
it's broken, do you?
343
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,121
I know you've always
wanted a hook,
344
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:58,586
but I don't wanna be
the cause of it.
345
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,685
Is there any way
you can use your left?
346
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:04,397
Out of the question.
This one's just for show.
347
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:07,401
In an emergency,
someone else can bowl for Max,
348
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:08,574
but since we're mid-game,
349
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:11,441
it must be someone
of the same gender.
350
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,711
I was gonna see how this worked
out before I dropped it on you.
351
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:15,340
I'm also league commissioner.
352
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:20,048
I'm sure one of you
knows how to bowl.
353
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,080
Not to stereotype,
but look at you.
354
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:27,652
Bowling wives!
Bowling wives!
355
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:31,057
It's time to help
our bowling guys.
356
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:33,391
Think we should help her, hon?
357
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,696
That's right,
we're having an affair.
358
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,298
And no.
359
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,270
(sighs)
360
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,573
Yeah, they won't do it.
361
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,501
Is it too late
to put Earl in a wig?
362
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:46,166
Oh, that takes hours.
363
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:49,576
And I don't have the glue on me.
364
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,579
We're gonna have to forfeit.
365
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,581
I guess I Can't Believe
It's Not Gutter
366
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,183
is going to Detroit.
367
00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:56,815
And I can't believe it.
368
00:16:56,849 --> 00:17:00,489
No.
I can do the bowling.
369
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:04,290
I have to because I think I'm
years away from being on top.
370
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:06,564
I have vertigo.
371
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:08,433
You are amazing.
372
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,161
All you need is two pins.
373
00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:11,557
And even if you don't get them,
374
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,168
I'll still love you.
375
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,140
But please get two pins.
376
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:19,069
Caroline, Caroline,
she's on her own.
377
00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:22,736
If she doesn't get this,
she'll die alone.
378
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:26,345
Max, you know how much
I hate that cheer.
379
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:30,779
May I please have a practice
swoop on the court next door?
380
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:33,517
Everyone else
got practice swoops.
381
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,293
Does she think rolling the ball
down the lane
382
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:36,722
is called "swooping"?
383
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:39,686
I don't know.
She calls sheets "bedding."
384
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:53,866
Uh, gutter ball.
Someone's dying alone.
385
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,576
Oh, that was my bad.
386
00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:59,278
I should have told you.
Aim away from the gutters.
387
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,752
The gutters are the things
on the sides.
388
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:05,321
Just--just focus on the center,
389
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:08,492
whip it back, and...
390
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,761
Or do that.
391
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,290
(shimmering tone)
392
00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:15,295
(theme from Chariots of Fire)
393
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:22,268
*
394
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,203
(creaking)
395
00:18:58,305 --> 00:18:59,505
(gasps)
396
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,339
(cheering)
397
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:02,344
Oh, my God!
398
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:03,735
The ten bases fell down!
399
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,646
I swooped them all!
400
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,648
That was incredible.
401
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,650
I hate to say it,
but I had this crazy thought
402
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,652
that you were trying
to sabotage the team
403
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:12,794
because you hate bowling.
404
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:15,389
I thought so, too!
405
00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:17,362
There's someone down there.
406
00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:21,587
Max?
407
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:22,828
You cheated!
408
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:27,767
You can't pin this on me.
409
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:32,740
How did Barbara get in
the claw machine?
410
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:35,242
Well, we've ruled out magic.
411
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:38,445
Currently, our top theory
is invisible gnomes.
412
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:41,508
Yeah, she may not be a genius,
413
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:43,718
but she goes after
what she wants.
414
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:47,320
Like Oleg at Swingers Yoga.
415
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:51,664
What you really had to see
was Sophie going in after her.
416
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,791
She was face down, Spanx up.
417
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,856
Man, it was wild.
418
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:57,955
All right, we better get going
before they realize
419
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:01,227
we broke their claw machine
and their sex booth
420
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:03,538
and two of the condom machines.
421
00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:08,483
There's always next season.
422
00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:10,908
We'll get back at it.
I can work on some cheers.
423
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:14,253
You are never coming here again.
424
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:16,681
-Thank you!
-(laughs)
425
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:25,686
Get a lane!
426
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,257
(sighs)
Take it easy, Larry.
427
00:20:29,296 --> 00:20:31,426
Those are my handcuffs.
428
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:32,934
(sighs)
One day, I'll be able to
429
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:36,595
come to a bowling alley
without leaving like this.
430
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:40,639
(cash register dings)
431
00:20:40,689 --> 00:20:45,239
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