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1
00:00:00,835 --> 00:00:01,955
Here's your check.
2
00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:03,964
I didn't charge you for the fries
because I ate them.
3
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:13,597
Max, look out!
4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,680
The diner water bugs
are getting really big.
5
00:00:16,559 --> 00:00:18,889
Relax, it's the diner's
new surveillance drone.
6
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:21,314
You empty the register
five or ten times,
7
00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:23,356
suddenly there's no trust.
8
00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:28,949
So to be clear, we're out
of soap but we have a drone?
9
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,775
I hate that Han's
just sitting in back,
10
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,155
watching us,
working his little joy stick.
11
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,156
Please, no one's getting any joy
out of Han's little stick.
12
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,300
(SCOFFS) This is so annoying.
It's following me.
13
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,208
Well, with a butt that flat,
it's the only black thing
14
00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:48,968
that's ever going to follow you.
15
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:53,089
(GROANS) There's another
drone out here?
16
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,717
I just killed one in the kitchen
with a fly swatter.
17
00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:56,965
Go.
18
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,847
I mean,
if I wanted to be spied on,
19
00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:00,313
I'd change my name to Ahmed,
20
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,193
and buy a condo near the airport.
21
00:01:05,149 --> 00:01:06,529
Whatever happened
to buying a painting
22
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:07,938
of an old sea captain,
23
00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:10,237
drilling out the eye holes,
and hiding behind it?
24
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,777
Not cool, Han.
25
00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:14,584
And the worst part is,
it's moving around so much,
26
00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,368
I can't find my good angle.
27
00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:20,253
Not cool and not Han.
28
00:01:20,331 --> 00:01:22,831
I stole this
while he was explaining to me
29
00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:25,917
why a 77-year-old man,
on minimum wage,
30
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:27,843
doesn't need health care.
31
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:30,423
Earl, that is awesome.
32
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,507
Not really.
I need that health care.
33
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:35,093
No, that you stole that.
34
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,679
We need to do something
that will make Han
35
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:38,604
never want
to spy on us again.
36
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,307
Oleg, open your pants.
37
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,940
Earl, fly that camera in there.
38
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:47,942
But first,
take off your underwear.
39
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:50,242
Underwear?
40
00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:54,985
Come on. What am I, five?
41
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,240
Inches?
42
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:04,082
Oleg, aren't you at all worried
about Earl's cataracts?
43
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,880
Best case scenario:
I get a little manscaping.
44
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,290
Worst case:
45
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:10,588
I've been meaning
to get circumcised.
46
00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:14,377
(HAN SCREAMS)
47
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,013
My eyes!
48
00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:22,475
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
49
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,730
(CASH REGISTER DINGS)
50
00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,446
Max, I'm writing out the check
for our bank loan.
51
00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:36,200
And I'm not quite sure
what our balance is
52
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:39,411
because here under "withdrawals"
you just wrote, "yeah".
53
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,660
Well, if you don't like that,
you're really not gonna like
54
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,417
the picture I drew
under "deposits."
55
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,252
I saw it.
56
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,625
Max, zeroes are not balls,
they're not boobs,
57
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,882
and they're not googly eyes.
58
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:56,966
They're just zeroes.
59
00:02:57,887 --> 00:02:59,217
Says you.
60
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:02,102
I'll go check our balance
at the ATM.
61
00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:04,771
Even though the last guy who
used it had a cold sore so big,
62
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,602
I charged him
for a party of two.
63
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:09,979
Don't worry. You're not gonna
get anything from that machine.
64
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,444
Especially cash.
65
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,490
Hey, everybody.
66
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,371
Whoa. Yeah.
67
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,329
Somebody better make me
some eggs
68
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:25,249
because I've been on a juice cleanse
for three hours, and I'm dizzy.
69
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:29,747
I mean, they call it a fast,
but it sure does go slow.
70
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:33,214
I was on a three weeks fast, once.
71
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,973
Then I realized
my mother wasn't coming home.
72
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,510
So I made a sandwich.
73
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:44,181
Oleg and my wedding is coming up
and we're trying to eat clean.
74
00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:46,853
Yeah, baby.
75
00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:49,436
Because you know we're eating
dirty on the honeymoon.
76
00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:56,316
Oh, dear God, what?
77
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,282
Another used condom
in the receipt slot?
78
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:01,243
-Worse.
-What?
79
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,414
Stuff that should be in a condom
but isn't?
80
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,673
We're below zero.
81
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:11,248
Oh, well, I better go, y'all.
82
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:15,884
A white woman screaming anywhere
in my vicinity
83
00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:17,545
never turns out well.
84
00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:20,513
This is a disaster.
85
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:24,223
I've been at zero, but I've
never had less than zero.
86
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:25,925
Oh, don't say that, Caroline.
87
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:28,476
I mean, you're forgetting
about your dating options.
88
00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,556
We have less
than zero money
89
00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:35,148
and no way of paying off
our bank loan.
90
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:38,738
Oh, my God, it happened.
I'm working class.
91
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,778
Hey, I've waited tables with you
for four years
92
00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:45,485
and there's no way you
could call what you do working.
93
00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:52,131
Cupcakes! Buy cupcakes.
94
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,633
Buy cupcakes!
95
00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:57,724
Stop.
96
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,548
You look more desperate
than Justin Bieber
97
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,262
in that Calvin Klein ad.
98
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:05,257
You don't understand
the seriousness
99
00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:07,056
of this bank situation.
100
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,181
You don't understand the rules
of "World Of Warcraft".
101
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:15,694
The loan just keeps escalating
and escalating until they close us down.
102
00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:18,398
Cupcakes! Buy cupcakes!
103
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,235
Buy cupcakes! Buy cupcakes!
104
00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:24,569
Ooh, pay-dirt. Look, here comes
a big, fat frat house guy.
105
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:29,541
Hey, bitches. Remember me?
106
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:30,870
Big Mary.
107
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,576
That's my name.
Don't wear it out.
108
00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:36,169
John, we haven't seen you
since pastry school.
109
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:38,092
Hey, for old times' sake,
want to buy a cupcake?
110
00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:40,342
A dozen? The shop?
111
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,802
I came because I may know
of a way for Max
112
00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:45,046
to make some extra money.
113
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:46,557
Whatever it is, she'll do it.
114
00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:49,313
That was my yearbook quote.
115
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,480
I just got hired
at a new restaurant
116
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,610
that's opening under the
High Line Park in Manhattan,
117
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:57,567
and they are looking
for another day pastry chef.
118
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,899
I only have a year
of pastry school,
119
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,895
and I was stoned for like
a year of that.
120
00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:04,662
I don't know
if I have the skills.
121
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:06,870
(LAUGHS) Girl, you don't.
122
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:11,077
But the manager, Joe,
wants only pretty people.
123
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:14,793
And what you lack in pastry,
you more than make up for in pretty.
124
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,379
She'll do it. You'll do it, Max.
125
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,751
John will be there to help back you up
with his pastry skills.
126
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:21,168
And because I'm pretty.
127
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:24,591
I don't belong
in a place like that.
128
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,393
It's called "The High."
129
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,350
Sounds right. Give me the deets.
130
00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:33,354
Well, good night girls.
Sorry about your bank balance.
131
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:36,685
But I trust you'll both lapse
into denial fairly soon, as always.
132
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,151
Hello.
133
00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,363
Who was she?
134
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,946
Hold me closer, tiny dancer.
135
00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:55,498
Oh, Han's not gay.
136
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,541
(SCOFFS) You forgot the "yet."
137
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:07,256
Max, maybe button up
a button or two.
138
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:09,473
It's a dessert bar.
Not a strip bar.
139
00:07:09,555 --> 00:07:11,305
Hey, I need this job.
140
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:15,189
And once this Joe guy takes
one look at these puff pastries,
141
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:19,309
he might cut me a slack when
he sees my other "not so puff" pastries.
142
00:07:19,398 --> 00:07:21,568
And you're comfortable
with that?
143
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,189
Yup.
144
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,566
Like I guess you're comfortable
applying for a waitress job
145
00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:27,823
on just the merits
of your waitress skills.
146
00:07:32,326 --> 00:07:33,446
Should I keep going?
147
00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:34,871
Why?
148
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:39,286
I'm here.
I'll take those applications.
149
00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:40,455
Hurry, ladies.
150
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,133
If I was looking for pretty
and slow,
151
00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:43,801
I'd hire Nick Jonas.
152
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,840
Max, let's get out of here.
153
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:50,425
She reminds me of this nightmare
I'm gonna have for the rest of my life.
154
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:54,142
Relax, she's just his guard dog.
It's Joe we have to impress.
155
00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:56,443
No thank you. No thank you.
156
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,188
And how dare you?
157
00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:04,065
I'm sorry, the restaurant
doesn't open until tomorrow.
158
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:05,941
Actually, no. Hi.
159
00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,988
I'm here to apply
for a waitress job.
160
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,531
At your age?
161
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,240
-I'm 27!
-And?
162
00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:15,371
Max, I can't breathe.
163
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:18,464
And I'm here
to apply for a pastry chef.
164
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:21,380
Also 27, but I've looked
this old since I was 6.
165
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:24,593
For a while, I thought I had
that Benjamin Button's disease.
166
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,422
I'll take the pastry chef first.
167
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,087
Why don't you sit over there
and wait.
168
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,715
I won't be long,
because frankly,
169
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,352
you don't have the time.
170
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,886
Thank you. I'll be over there.
171
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:38,274
Applying for Social Security.
172
00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:42,484
So, where did you go
to pastry school,
173
00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:44,403
and why aren't you working now?
174
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,782
Manhattan School Of Pastry,
and I am working.
175
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,780
I have my own cupcake shop
in Brooklyn.
176
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:52,201
-Oh, it's almost over.
-This interview? Great.
177
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:55,662
No. Not the interview. Brooklyn.
Brooklyn's almost over.
178
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:57,454
Also, cupcakes.
179
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:01,883
Cool. I will tell them.
180
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,248
Wish I knew that before they got
their belly buttons pierced
181
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,496
trying to stay cool.
182
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:09,884
Oh, great. A sense of humor.
Customers love that.
183
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,756
I don't, but they do.
184
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:16,259
So, where's this Joe guy
who's doing the hiring?
185
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,767
There is no "Joe guy". I'm Joe.
186
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,600
Spelled, J-O-E-D-T-H.
187
00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:22,186
The D-T-H is silent.
188
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,650
As am I,
because I want this job.
189
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,612
Well, I guess
I can put these away then.
190
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:30,323
That was your plan?
191
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,663
To expose your breasts
and seduce your way into this job?
192
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,950
You say that like
it's a bad thing.
193
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,160
-Okay. Well, bye.
-Sit, sit.
194
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,004
If you really can bake,
195
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,922
this position might be
perfect for you.
196
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,881
Also, you have that edgy,
"I don't give a crap" attitude.
197
00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:51,172
Customers love that.
I don't, but they do.
198
00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:56,971
Actually, Joe, silent D-T-H,
I can bake.
199
00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:58,394
But how well?
200
00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:01,522
My girlfriend and I
are obsessed with French pastry.
201
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:02,690
Oh.
202
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,439
Girlfriend as in "girlfriend"?
203
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,281
Or as in two ladies of a certain
age at a Cineplex
204
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,689
splitting one thing of popcorn?
205
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,155
Everything you just said
offended me.
206
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,155
Yeah, that's my brand.
207
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:19,996
And the fact that you didn't cry
about splitting a popcorn
208
00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:22,207
makes me think it's
the first kind of girlfriend.
209
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,786
How are your macaroons?
210
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,168
(STAMMERS)
211
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:32,594
My macaroons?
212
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:35,629
Great.
213
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:39,636
A little bit of French heaven.
214
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,854
What is your name?
215
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,063
Max.
216
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,561
M-A-X.
217
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,864
Nothing is silent, ever.
218
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:54,488
So I gather.
219
00:10:55,197 --> 00:10:57,777
Okay, why don't you go fill out
an application, Max.
220
00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:59,445
And you can put those
away again.
221
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:02,123
I'm really not into
big-breasted women.
222
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,174
Girl, you got this.
223
00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:14,376
-First day. Are you nervous, girl?
-Please.
224
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,796
Nervous is telling your elderly
Mormon parents you're gay
225
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:19,394
after your three older siblings
already came out.
226
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:24,139
I have no idea
what most of these desserts are.
227
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,805
I haven't felt this lost
since the finale of Lost.
228
00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:30,935
Max, can you see any of the
Barney's price tags on these?
229
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,614
Uh, I think there's one
bunching up
230
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,072
inside the back of your pants.
231
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:36,152
No, that's the underwear
I'm also returning.
232
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,369
Here she comes.
233
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,540
Hi, ladies. This is Naomi,
the dessert bar hostess.
234
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:44,449
Go, Naomi, go.
235
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:50,706
Gorgeous, but as dumb as whoever
is the hot new idiot right now.
236
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:53,961
Let me take a look at you.
237
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:58,216
-Goodbye.
-Already?
238
00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:02,139
-Those pearls. They have to go.
-Really?
239
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:05,351
It's just, well, I'm kind of
emotionally attached to them.
240
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,443
Well, honey, I love my
half-blind French bulldog,
241
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,439
but I don't wear her
around my neck.
242
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:12,068
Max, let me take a look.
243
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,742
Love it. Fabulous. Well done.
244
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,450
Hi, Joe. Big day.
I'm so excited.
245
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:22,410
Why don't you be excited
in the back, doll?
246
00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:25,699
I want Max up front now.
247
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:28,077
All my life, people have been
telling me not to come out.
248
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:30,174
Why should here
be any different?
249
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:35,803
Ladies, I just got word that
the New York Times food critic
250
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,050
may make a surprise visit
this afternoon.
251
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,721
Everything has to be perfect.
252
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:44,602
The service, the desserts,
the precarious balance of my meds.
253
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:47,139
Nothing can go wrong.
254
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:49,393
Naomi.
255
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:50,557
Fetch.
256
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,976
"Welcome to The High."
257
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,856
"Hi. Welcome to The High".
258
00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:58,862
"Welcome to The High."
259
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:01,525
Stop saying high.
It reminds me I'm not.
260
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:06,447
Wait, Max, you're not high?
Like, not high at all?
261
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:09,412
No. I didn't want
to screw today up.
262
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,578
What the hell is wrong with you?
263
00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:15,248
You can't change
who you are today.
264
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:17,546
The New York Times is coming.
How will you cope?
265
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,590
I mean, when's the last time
you weren't high?
266
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:22,677
My birth.
267
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:27,062
But I was really drunk.
I had just had a bottle of wine.
268
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,934
Well, my mother had.
269
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:30,808
I have to go wait
on those customers.
270
00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:32,351
Do what you can
to get with the program.
271
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,267
I mean,
get off the program.
272
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:35,765
You can't bake not baked.
273
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,072
Big Mary? John?
274
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:43,365
Why not try my new name?
Quasimodo.
275
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,873
-Do you have any weed?
-Do I have any weed?
276
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:49,452
Let me check my hump.
277
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,081
Nope. No weed.
278
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:54,792
Thanks, Rico.
279
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,585
I didn't want to ask due
to the city-wide ban
280
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:57,919
on racial profiling.
281
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:02,505
Wow!
This dish room is cleaner
282
00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:04,721
than Chris Christie's plate
after lunch.
283
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:09,266
Max, I need two lavender macaroons.
Where are they?
284
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,639
I'm working on them.
285
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,975
Well, good. I'm so proud of you.
286
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,194
This is so Freaky Friday.
287
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,937
Here are the lavender macaroons.
288
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,197
See? Even just holding this,
I'm better.
289
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:26,119
Now we just have to hope
nothing goes wrong.
290
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:27,698
Surprise!
291
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,621
We all came to support you.
292
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,132
CAROLINE: Well, that's it.
293
00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:43,165
The New York Times food critic
may be in the same room
294
00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,428
as Han, Earl, Oleg,
and Sophie.
295
00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:48,679
We're dead.
Time of death, 11:30.
296
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:52,099
I believe it's more like 4:20.
297
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:55,731
SOPHIE: Oh!
298
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:58,362
Caroline, I love your new place.
299
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,818
It's so fresh and pretty.
300
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,030
It kind of looks like
a douche commercial.
301
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:06,954
You're right, baby.
302
00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,492
It looks exactly
like a douche commercial.
303
00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:14,661
Okay, can we stop saying
"douche" in the fancy pastry shop?
304
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:17,628
I agree. Not appropriate.
305
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,038
Caroline, darling,
306
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:22,166
slip my phone number
to that fine Nubian princess.
307
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:26,053
And tell her not to be fooled
by my bad hip.
308
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,804
I can still gently
rock her world.
309
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,773
Okay, guys, what are you doing here
and how quickly can you leave?
310
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:34,890
Real nice.
311
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:36,185
After we came all this way
312
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,149
to just order only desserts
that Max knows how to make
313
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:42,270
and to say nice things
about you as a waitress.
314
00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:44,239
Aww, you'd do that for me?
315
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,280
Hell no, I can't pull that off.
316
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:51,239
If I could act, I'd sell the restaurant
and get cast in two-line roles
317
00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:53,866
as the doctor
on any network television show.
318
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,785
Sophie's the actress.
319
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:59,383
And trust me,
she's got quite a repertoire.
320
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:03,799
In bed, I call her Meryl Sheets.
Do it, baby.
321
00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:09,928
Ooh, what a lovely place.
322
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:16,178
That's the accent she uses when
we play 12 Years A Sex Slave.
323
00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:20,192
Lovely, be right back.
324
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:22,730
Oh, and welcome to The High.
325
00:16:23,942 --> 00:16:27,652
What's going on with that table?
Is there a European circus in town?
326
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:32,283
A circus? Well, I wouldn't know.
I really have no idea who they are.
327
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:34,446
That didn't require an answer.
328
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:36,746
It was just one of my dead-on
observations.
329
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:39,368
Just get rid of them.
330
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:41,706
Tell them we've run out of funnel cakes.
331
00:16:45,212 --> 00:16:49,132
Well, I'm feeling
like my old self.
332
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,886
Joe just told me to lose
Han, Earl, Oleg, and Sophie.
333
00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:54,601
How am I supposed to lose
that many people?
334
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,271
I'm not air traffic control.
335
00:16:57,475 --> 00:17:00,135
You are acting like they don't know
how to act in a fancy place.
336
00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,559
SOPHIE: Girls, look!
337
00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:06,363
Oleg's wearing his napkin
as a party hat!
338
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,913
Here's your dessert.
Bon appétit.
339
00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:17,116
Max, I can't believe
you just made that.
340
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:18,752
Neither can I.
341
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,500
And what did you say
to Oleg and Sophie?
342
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:24,884
It's been an hour. And I haven't seen
any over-the-table penetration.
343
00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:27,876
I just told them
to be on their best behavior,
344
00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:29,423
and they're fine with it.
345
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:32,428
Excuse me, Max. Yes, hi.
346
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,349
May I go tinkle?
347
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:37,599
Or is that against the law here
at Guantanamo Dessert Bay?
348
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,484
I'm gonna go have sex
in the ladies room.
349
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,520
Unless you two prudes
have a problem with that, too.
350
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,856
Excuse me.
351
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,493
Can I get a latte and a red wine?
(CLEARS THROAT)
352
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,989
Because I got a Vicodin
stuck in my throat.
353
00:17:56,492 --> 00:18:00,412
My God. Who could be that messed up
in the middle of the afternoon?
354
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:02,827
Uh, my new best friend.
355
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:07,585
I better get rid of her before Joe
or that Times critic walks in.
356
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:10,050
You keep doing good things
by accident.
357
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:13,054
-Hi, can I get a--
-You sure can.
358
00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:14,644
-Anywhere but here.
-No.
359
00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:16,889
Spinning's not good for me
right now.
360
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,892
-What is she doing here?
-Leaving. You never saw her.
361
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,476
-Wait.
-Joe, I got this.
362
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,650
My bestie at school was totally
hooked on prescription pills
363
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:26,820
for like a week.
364
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:28,317
Hey! Hi, you.
365
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:32,572
Excuse me. Where is Max?
366
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:33,903
She's in the back for a sec.
367
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:36,318
So, we meet again.
368
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:39,447
Sir, do you need something
in the back?
369
00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:42,076
Yes, Caroline said
she'd bring me a napkin,
370
00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:44,923
but I could get Time Warner
on the phone faster than that.
371
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,260
Just ask Max. She covers for Caroline
all the time at the diner.
372
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:55,802
-Max?
-Ooh! Drama at The High.
373
00:18:57,846 --> 00:19:00,636
Han, that's my new boss.
Stop talking.
374
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,428
Also, stop collecting stickers.
You're a grown-up.
375
00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:07,114
Okay, I threw that
drug addict out.
376
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,321
That drug addict
is my girlfriend.
377
00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:12,355
More drama at The High.
378
00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:14,701
And, Caroline,
we have a problem.
379
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:17,618
-You called Allie a drug addict.
-Oh! Is that her name?
380
00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:20,239
Allie? So cute. Even lovelier.
381
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:23,408
And according to that
very small man,
382
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:24,956
you're also a terrible waitress.
383
00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:28,633
But I had no idea
you two were together.
384
00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:32,884
I would have thought
a powerful...
385
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:34,553
Stop. Now.
386
00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:38,604
Joe, look,
we really need these jobs.
387
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,507
We made a bad decision
with our bakery business,
388
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:43,216
and now we have a big bank loan
that we can't pay.
389
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,179
Honesty. Good.
390
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:47,018
People respond to honesty.
391
00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:48,984
I don't, but they do.
392
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,069
Max, you have potential here.
393
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:54,440
Caroline,
you're fired as a waitress.
394
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,404
Are you sure?
395
00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:58,618
Stop!
396
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,577
There's nothing in there
to save you.
397
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:09,584
Well, if she's fired,
I'm fired, too.
398
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:11,836
Oh, relax, Norma Rae.
399
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:15,587
She's fired as a waitress,
but she's hired as a hostess.
400
00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:18,465
I am? Why?
401
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,720
Because you're pretty,
you flashed a boob,
402
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,933
and you took more control
of Allie in five minutes
403
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,893
than anybody's been able to do
in her three rehab stints.
404
00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:30,811
And that, lady,
is a New York City hostess.
405
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,947
Well, girls, I struck out.
406
00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:42,368
Bill Cosby has ruined it
for all black men over 70
407
00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:45,790
who are just trying
to buy a gal a drink.
408
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:53,245
Max, how do you like that?
I'm the hostess.
409
00:20:53,336 --> 00:20:54,746
I got a promotion!
410
00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:56,836
-I don't think a hostess is a--
-It is, Max.
411
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:59,223
'Cause with a less-than-zero
bank balance, it has to be.
412
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:00,219
It's all I have left.
413
00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:04,263
(CASH REGISTER RINGS)
414
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,678
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
415
00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:30,156
(English US - SDH)
416
00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:34,756
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