All language subtitles for 2 Broke Girls s04e08 Fun Factory

Thank you, everyone, for staying late

to learn our new iPad order system.

We had no choice.

You locked the door
from the outside.

Either way, we're learning.

Han, why would we update
our order system

when our uniforms
are from the 1970s

and our paycheck
is from the 1800s?

Let's get to the tutorial.

Max, you and I
are going to role-play.

All right, you can be
the little bitch and I'll be me.

I don't need this lesson.

I'm very familiar
with the touch screen.

Let's just say I put the "goo"
in Google.

I'm going to pretend
I'm a customer

and order a hamburger.

Hello, Miss.
I'll have a hamburger.

Certainly, Miss.

Would you like that with
or without Salmonella?

Han, I got my first lesson
on the iPad from Steve Jobs

and now I'm getting it
from Han Jobs?

Caroline, don't act like
you know more

about gadgets than me.

Formerly rich
doesn't beat currently Asian.

Now, come on,
everyone look at their iPads.

What iPad?
I didn't see an iPad.

What? No.

Did somebody say something
about an iPad?

What the hell is an iPad?

-Where did they all go?
-I'm guessing eBay.

I want them all back,
especially mine.

I'm in a casual flirtation
with a woman in Australia.

She's part aboriginal,
but has a great personality.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)

(CASH REGISTER RINGS)

Here you go, Earl.

Max, what's wrong?
You seem happy.

I'm just still on a high

from this $10,000 bank loan
I got last week.

And from an almost certainly
laced pot brownie I ate in 2004.

I can't believe you and Caroline

got a bank loan for your
cupcake business

and not a single hostage
was involved.

Max, you don't have $10,000.
You don't even have Netflix.

This money is to pay a factory
to make our cupcake T-shirts

and I've whittled it down
to three.

-Hello.
-Speaking of whittled.

Someone used my printer

and I'm guessing it's Caroline
because it's about business

and not another one of Earl's
Angela Bassett collages.

What can I say, man?
I'm a Bassett hound.

Thanks, Han. These are the
factories I've been researching.

We want our T-shirts
to be American made.

I have an American maid

and all she's good at
is eating my granola bars.

Look, Max, I found one
right here in Brooklyn.

"American Ace.

The founder, Ace Hardwick,
is devoted

to treating his workers well."

And not in a creepy way
like that American Apparel guy.

So you're saying
none of these workers

have ever found an ace
in their hole?

Look, I've worked
in a lot of factories.

I know what goes on.

I worked in a coat factory,

which is why my lungs
are coated in asbestos.

I worked
in an underwear factory,

where I was underpaid
for the fruits of my looms.

And worst factory of all,
The Cheesecake Factory.

How about we do
a walk-through tomorrow

to make sure it's up to snuff?

Well, if they have snuff,

why are we waiting until tomorrow?

Hey, everybody.

Hi, great news.

I just got carded
at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Really?
I got carted out of there once.

And more great news.

I'm starting
my own new business.

So girls, you know
how you have that $10,000?

Well,
I don't wanna clean you out,

But how do you feel
about tossing me $9,500?

You two should invest.
Sophie's business is genius.

You know how
a bunch of ladies got

their down-there-hair
permanently lasered off?

Yeah, that's when your waxer
gives you a Michael Chiklis.

Well, Sophie's offering a product

that puts grass back on your field.

That's not a business.
That's nobody's business.

Yeah, I don't do
any of that stuff.

I just throw a scrunchie
on mine and go.

Hey, there's a need for this.

Sometimes in the fog,

my plane gets lost
without a landing strip.

We're out.

Don't decide yet, girls.

You haven't even heard the cute,
little name.

"Sophie Kuchenksi's
Vagina Wigs!"

Yeah, we're really out.

But it's a quality product

and it's real hair imported
from Va-China.

Yeah, never been further out.

And this is our main floor.

Wow! This is amazing.

I feel like we're in
the Willy Wonka Factory.

I know, right?

The American Ace motto
is "Work is fun."

Max was expecting
a different kind of factory.

More torture, less foosball.

I know, right?
Not at American Ace.

And what is your position here,
Peggy?

Are you the "I know, right?"
person?

(CHUCKLING)
I know, right?

No, I'm one of the owners.
Also, I dye T-shirts.

See, every employee
gets a percentage of the company

after six months,

so the longer you stay,
the more it grows.

We've been at the diner
four years

and the only thing
we've seen grow is Oleg's pants.

I know, right?

Well, Ace is expecting you.
Go ahead, go have fun.

Hey, don't be fooled
by what's on the surface.

You look like you have money,

but I know your underwear's
in shreds.

Not shreds, Max, shred.

Just one,
it goes from front to back.

Um, hi. Should we just come in?
The door is open.

Yep, always is.

Doors create boundaries.
Boundaries are a bummer.

-You know what else is a bummer?
-Tall guys with small penises?

That you just missed the gelato
and designer coffee cart.

Espresso hazelnut praline?

-We're not here for gelato.
-We're not, not here for gelato.

Awesome.
It's awesome to meet you.

I'm Ace Hardwick.

Look, Ace, we're not about
to give you $10,000

so you can take advantage
of a sad,

underage girl worker
near the loading docks

because her boobs
are crazy big

and she needs a ride home.

That's a for instance.

I'm sorry?

See, Ace,
Max has some trust issues

when it comes to factories,
so we're here today to--

You're pretty much eating
cardboard there.

You want me to get you another?

You should see her
with tuna cans.

Hey, I see the prosciutto cart.
Who wants imported ham?

Me.

Well, we're not, not here
for prosciutto.

-Hey, you know what's cool?
-Short guys with big penises?

(LAUGHS)
You're fun.

Your business belongs here
at American Ace.

Come on,
let's go meet the family.

That guy kind of creeps me out.

On the plus side,
I finally get to meet my family.

I had this space designed

for open energy
and open conversation.

What's up, other owners?

What's up, Ace?

Our sales by 400 percent.

(CHEERING)

Max, this is it.
This is our factory.

CAROLINE: The employees look
happy and successful.

So did the members of 'N Sync.

But behind the curtain,
a veil of tears.

Hey, Caroline,
here's the prosciutto cart.

Thanks, Ace.

Enjoy. I'm just gonna get
a quick five-minute chair massage.

Come on, let's slip out

while Ace has got his head stuck
in that chair's ass.

Hey, what's up?

Welcome to American Ace.
I'm Rico.

You're, like, really,
really, really pretty.

Aw. Oh!

So anyways, I'm part owner
and I clean the bathroom.

Quick question:
Do you have a light Cabernet?

Quicker question:

Where's the secret room
with the toddler slaves?

What's up? I'm Raul,
part owner and security guard.

Hey, you two wanna grab
a drink sometime?

Fridays after work, we all hang
next door at Tortilla Flats.

Tortilla Flat.
Wasn't that your stripper name?

You're just jealous
because mine's taller

and thinks I'm really,
really, really pretty.

Good luck
with that tall guy scenario.

Sorry we're late, but we were
busy with our other business,

the one we care about.

How can I be mad

with that sincere,
heartfelt apology?

Who wants to see
our sample T-shirts?

I want to see it, but I want
to see a lot of things.

But with these damn cataracts,

the best I can do
is look towards it

and get a milky idea.

Hey, girls.

I want to show you
some of my new styles

for my "Everybody's Merkin
For The Weekend" collection.

Sophie, what's a merkin?

It's a vagina wig.

That's dirty.

And Han,
I'm gonna need your input

because I'm working on
an Asian line.

Shouldn't Han grow
some hair on his

before he starts tossing out advice?

Han, I need to know
if I got the texture right,

so come over here.

Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that feels nice.

Yeah, nice and thick
between my fingers.

-Oh, yeah.
-Slower.

Slower still.

This is like watching
your gerbil hump a pencil.

Not really sexual,
but still grosses you out.

Sophie, I think you should stop.

I haven't felt this sensation
since third grade

when Madam Yi checked me
for head lice.

Remind me to pick up

a "What's Happening
To My Body?" book

for Han tomorrow.

Girls, I'll be over here,

working on my
African-American line.

Yeah, I can't decide
whether to call it a "Vag-afro"

or a "Pube-a Gooding, Jr."

Max, look.
These shirts look amazing.

Well, I guess I was wrong
about the factory.

Like I was wrong about you

making it through that first winter.

Look, there's a note in here.

It's probably from Rico.
He's obsessed with me.

Yeah, it's not from him.
It says, "Help us."

Underpaid workers are trapped
in that factory, I knew it!

Once again,
I was fooled by ice cream.

Yes, it's a note
that says, "help us,"

but if there's one thing
I learned in business school,

it's if you don't see it,
it doesn't exist.

Look, as much as we want to,
we can't just look away.

We need to talk to the workers.

Call the guy, the one who thinks
you're pretty.

I don't know
who you're talking about.

I only met a guy who thought I
was really, really,

really pretty.

We can meet them
at that Mexican place.

Ooh, a Mexican place.

I forgot about
the Latina market.

Girls, when you're there,

find out if they'd be interested
in some hair

south of the border.

Didn't know if you ladies
wanted beers or margaritas

so we got you beer-garitas.

It's $5, but you're worth it.

I love a girl
with a healthy appetite.

Well, you're gonna be
getting down on one knee

by the end
of the appetizers.

So let's just dive right in.

How's factory life treating you?

Give us the skinny
which is what I hope you said

when you ordered
those beer-garitas,

because I cannot be poor
with a muffin top.

You know, I don't want
to talk about work.

Are you saying you're not
allowed to talk about work?

Your words, we all heard you,
Rico or Raul.

Hey, tell me,
what do you girls like to do?

I like to watch waiters
make guacamole at my table.

When's that gonna happen?

-So about work--
-Yeah, okay.

Hey, let's go see what's going
on in beer-garitaville.

What are we gonna do? I can't
get any information out of Rico.

He's so preoccupied with
how pretty, pretty, pretty I am.

Oh, hi, Peggy.
How are you?

Would you like to join us
and talk about work?

Why don't we talk about
you two skanks

getting the hell out of here?

And I thought
we were bad waitresses.

This is Carmen.
She works at the factory too.

We're BFFs, and she's one
of the owners, like me.

Yeah, and she's a 100 percent
owner of Rico, so hands off!

We see you two sitting over here
like you're God's frigging gift.

I know, right?

And not for nothing

but Rico's pit bull
doesn't like other girls.

I'm guessing
that's his pit bull.

And you, hands off Raul.

We have a love that is deep
and real,

and when he finds out about it,
it's gonna be magic.

Yup.

Exactly what I expected.

Upstairs is
Willy Wonka's factory

and down here, they're
waterboarding Oompa Loompas.

Yo, what's up?
We just coming here

to work in the dye room
right there as per usual.

(WITH ACCENT) Yeah, no biggie.
What yous twos looking at?

That was a really good accent.

Thanks.
I played Rizzo in Grease.

Should have been Sandy,

but I let the girl
with the limp have it.

Come on. We have to put these on
and go into the dye room

because I'm guessing
that's where it all goes down.

The dye room,
I'm not surprised.

I always knew we'd dye together.

Okay. We'll just pretend
to be working here

like we do at the diner.

Well, well, look who it is,

stuck-up and stuck-up two:
The legend returns.

Max, we gotta go.
My life can't end wearing grey.

What up, ladies?

Last night,
you're hanging with the homies

and today, boom,

you just happen
to be working here.

-That's frigging convenient.
-I know, right?

-Very frigging convenient.
-I know, right?

We just have to show them
who's boss.

You know, like we do with the
mouse who lives in our toaster.

So, what, we're gonna scream
and then spray Windex at them?

Yo. See this scar?

Knife fight with five
Catholic schoolgirls

over a slushie.

So unless you want some
of what I gave Virginia,

Stephanie, Laquetia, Latoya
and the one in the wheelchair,

I'd stay clear.

This is just a misunderstanding.
Rico's not interested in me.

Well, he seemed pretty
into you last night.

Yeah,
but that's before she talked.

Come on, we are not interested
in your men at all.

Not at all.
I mean, come on.

What's that mean?

You're saying
something's wrong with them?

No, she's not saying that.
It's just--

It's just what?

We're lovers.

You two are lovers?

-Because you don't seem--
-We don't seem what? Gay?

No. Hot enough.

-Well...
-Not hot at all.

I know, right?

Look busy, keep your eyes open.

I think we're in the belly
of the beast.

You talking about me?

-No.
-No.

Max, what do you think's
behind that locked door?

I knew it!
Toddler slaves!

Those kids are in horrible
danger of becoming me.

Come on. Let's go over there.

What the-- You hit me.

Sorry, so sorry.
Accident.

You throw like a girl.

See, I knew it,
you two aren't gay.

-Yous are after our guys!
-No, I'm not.

Rico just thought I was
really, really, really pretty.

Oh, hell no!
Leave my lover alone!

It's on!

No, no, no. It's not on.

This is silly.
We're not after anyone.

We're here to help
some of those work--

Oh, yeah.
Now, it's on!

I warn you!

(SCREAMING)

Hell, no!

-Back off, bitch!
-Who you calling bitch, bitch?

Honey?
You're getting carried away.

Now you're really
getting carried away.

No.
Don't put me in the dryer.

I used to be rich,
I'm dry clean only.

That was a big frigging mistake!

Respect.

You two are a lot tougher

than those girls
from St. Bridget's.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

-What's happening?
-We're busting you.

We know what's happening here.

What, profit sharing
and health care?

We found a note in our box
with "help us" scrawled on it.

How do you explain that?

Did you read the back?

"Help us...

help you...

to your full potential
at American Ace".

We put one in every box we ship.

I have got to start reading more
than

the first sentence of stuff.

I'm sorry, this is all my fault.

I guess I just wanted to believe

some kids were having
a worse childhood than I was.

Max, don't feel bad.

You thought someone needed help
and you cared

and that makes you a good person,
and I'm proud of you.

I said I was sorry.
You don't have to be mean.

Hey, everybody.

I just got my first shipment of wigs.

Sophie, why are you walking like that?

Well, I'm not just the president,

I'm also a client.

Sophie, I think
you dropped something.

unless we have those giant
Persian roaches again.

Even a milky version of that
was too much.

You know, Max, maybe someday,

someone like you will come
into this Salmonella factory

and rescue us.

What are you writing
on those checks?

"Help us."

We work here.
The "help us" is implied.

(CASH REGISTER RINGS)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)

(English US - SDH)

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