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00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:11,112
[Crickets chirping]
[Birds chirping]
2
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:16,050
Captioning made possible by
lions gate entertainment
3
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:20,354
[explosion]
4
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:39,773
[Indistinct shouting]
5
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:42,676
[Gavel pounding]
6
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,245
Man: We have no exit from
this freeway, Mr. Kirk!
7
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:46,147
How am I gonna
sell my gasoline?
8
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,816
Woman: We can't live
without tourists.
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00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:50,551
We'll just die,
that's all.
10
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:53,354
Man: Without an exit, we won't
have any business here.
11
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,557
A whole lot of stores
are gonna have to close!
12
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:57,658
Quiet! Shh!
13
00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:58,659
I understand
your irritation.
14
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:02,096
But our studies indicate
that the town of ticlaw
15
00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:03,664
does not qualify
for an exit
16
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:06,234
based on our
demographic analyzation.
17
00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:08,169
[Shouting]
18
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,437
No! No.
19
00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:11,605
You're just
too small!
20
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,174
All: Too small?
21
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,442
Please, now,
come on.
22
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:17,111
There--there's an--
there is an exit...
23
00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:19,480
35 miles south,
the town of Marshall.
24
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,882
But they'll get
all our tourists!
25
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,251
[Shouting]
26
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:24,552
Now, now, now, now--
hey, hey, hey! Look!
27
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:28,589
We can't give every little
piddly-assed town an exit!
28
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:29,457
[Shouting]
29
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:31,225
Piddly-assed town?
30
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,627
Kirby, talk
to that man!
31
00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:36,297
Man: Kirby, talk to him!
32
00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:37,498
Now, Mr. Kirk has come
33
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:38,532
all the way down here
from Tallahassee,
34
00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:41,335
and I don't think we all
should be rude to the man.
35
00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:42,236
However, I do
think it's time
36
00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:45,206
that, uh, Mr. Kirk and I
had a little chat.
37
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:46,440
How about some lunch?
38
00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:48,242
[Kirby narrating]
I have never liked
39
00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:49,910
dealing with the government.
40
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,312
The only time
you hear from them
41
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:53,647
is when they want to take
something from you
42
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:54,715
or do something to you.
43
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:57,585
But this here hotel of mine
has been the focal point
44
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,620
of this town
since the Indians.
45
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:00,588
Of course,
some of the guests
46
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,624
seem to have been here
since the Indians, too.
47
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:06,260
But we've been makin'
all kinds of improvements
48
00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:08,229
to attract
some new tourists--
49
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:09,263
a younger crowd.
50
00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:12,233
And this man here is tryin'
to keep them tourists
51
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,301
from gettin' here.
52
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:14,835
Mornin', James.
53
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:17,571
Kirk: Great lion. Hmm!
54
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,207
Kirby: He's got
the runs right now,
55
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,073
but by the time
we get our exit,
56
00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:22,876
we expect him to be
stable and healthy.
57
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:23,811
Mm-hmm.
58
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,413
Anyway, we got 2 more
comin', plus a rhino.
59
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:26,280
[Elephant trumpeting]
60
00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:29,317
Kirk: Oh, my.
Now, there s an elephant.
61
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:31,285
Kirby: That's bubbles.
She's a genius.
62
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,321
Won't make a whole
lot of difference
63
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:34,488
if no one
comes to see her.
64
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:36,190
Well, it won't
take a genius
65
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:38,192
to get people here,
I don't think.
66
00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:38,926
That's right.
67
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,294
What it'll take
is an exit
68
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:43,297
from your freeway.
How do we get it?
69
00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:45,533
You take 10,000 trips
under the table.
70
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,268
That's how you do it.
71
00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:48,869
10,000--
72
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:54,242
10,000 trips
under the table.
73
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:58,579
Payable in cold, hard, green,
laundered you-know-what.
74
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,348
You want it?
75
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:04,552
We want it.
76
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:07,355
[Marching band playing]
77
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:13,261
[Indistinct chatter]
78
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:25,273
73, 74, 75, $76.
79
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:36,684
Come and get your balloons!
80
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:40,554
Ok, let me take your money.
Throw a pie and save ticlaw.
81
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:41,789
Throw a pie and save tic--.
82
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:44,625
[Woman laughing]
83
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,327
Kirby: We have
a great turnout, honey.
84
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,661
I think we're gonna make it.
85
00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:50,230
Woman: Oh, yes!
86
00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:57,305
All right!
Thank you!
87
00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:58,806
Thank you!
88
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,709
Woman: Oh, it's wonderful!
[Laughs]
89
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:17,791
Pancakes! Pancakes!
Get your pancakes!
90
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,440
How much is that?
91
00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:07,641
$170!
92
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:10,444
That makes it over--
that's 170.
93
00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:13,447
That's over
$10,000!
94
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:18,051
[Cheering]
95
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,003
That one there
is yours.
96
00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:47,848
Looks like you got
your exit, Mr. Calo.
97
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,683
Yes, sir. We all
got what we wanted.
98
00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:50,884
God bless you, boy.
99
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:51,852
Bye-bye.
100
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,521
Bye, now.
101
00:05:57,558 --> 00:06:00,394
Now, forget
you saw any of this.
102
00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:02,463
Man: Saw what, Mr. Kirk?
103
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:04,898
[Kirby narrating]
Well, we all thought
104
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:05,966
that was that.
105
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:08,602
We had ourselves
a real victory
106
00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:10,838
for our piddly-assed town.
107
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,641
[Applause]
108
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:14,908
Man over P.A.:
Andrew Jackson freeway!
109
00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:16,810
Kirk, what the hell
is this?
110
00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:17,945
You promised US
an exit,
111
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,413
and now this damn
freeway's open.
112
00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:21,482
The other 3 commissioners
voted no on ticlaw.
113
00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:22,850
Now, I mean, who--
who would've guessed?
114
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:23,884
I don't give
a fuck about
115
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,018
the other
3 commissioners.
116
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:25,719
I gave you $10,000,
117
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,154
not the other
3 commissioners.
118
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:28,522
Now, you see
my people over there?
119
00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:30,090
Kirby, that thing's
gotta come down.
120
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,425
We got
plenty more signs
121
00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:32,392
where that one
come from.
122
00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:33,994
Now, we're gonna make
a big stink right here!
123
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:34,662
Oh, no, you're not!
124
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:36,430
I'm talkin'
to the governor.
125
00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:38,966
Governor! Governor!
126
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,972
[Kirby narrating]
Well, what do you expect?
127
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:49,477
You lie down with dogs,
you get up with fleas.
128
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:50,210
But the point is,
129
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:53,547
you get up
and you do something.
130
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,549
Now, I knew
at that very moment
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00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,184
tourists from
all over america
132
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:59,152
were headed toward Florida.
133
00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:02,556
And what we had to do
was to figure out
134
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:05,859
how to get 'em into ticlaw.
135
00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:13,133
* the highway
stretches out *
136
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:16,770
* just like a snake
across the land *
137
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:19,740
* it tells a simple story
138
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,542
* that everyone
can understand *
139
00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:24,144
* leave your worries
all behind you *
140
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:28,181
* there's a better
life ahead *
141
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,651
* and the highway
gypsies follow *
142
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:34,254
* every word
the highway says *
143
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:37,257
* it's a honky tonk freeway
144
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:41,629
* it's america on wheels
145
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:44,598
* motel rooms, neon lights
146
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,967
* drive-in, drive-out meals
147
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,504
* well, it's winding
cross the country *
148
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:53,807
* just as far
as you can see *
149
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,910
* on the honky tonk freeway
150
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:58,546
[bus horn honking]
151
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:02,516
* it's where I wanna be
152
00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:03,183
come on, come on.
153
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:06,086
Move it,
move it, move it!
154
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:08,789
[Bus horn honking]
155
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:14,662
Do we have to go
so fast, sister?
156
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,731
[Bus horn honking]
157
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:21,835
[Bus horn honking]
158
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:26,173
Oh, sister,
we're going much too fast.
159
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,308
Uh, we're only going
45 miles an hour.
160
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,110
Yes, but that's
much too fast.
161
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:30,911
Put on your brakes.
162
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:31,779
Oh, sister,
if I put on my brakes--
163
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:35,148
I am your superior.
Put on your brakes.
164
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:38,051
[Brakes squealing]
Oh, shit!
165
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:42,723
[Brakes squealing]
166
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,564
Oh.
That's better.
167
00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:52,666
* it's a honky tonk freeway
168
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:57,337
* it's a paradise on wheels
169
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,040
* motel rooms, neon lights
170
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:03,010
* drive-in, drive-out meals
171
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,913
* well, it's winding
cross the country *
172
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:10,183
* just as far
as you can see *
173
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:14,254
* on the honky tonk freeway
174
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:18,125
* that's where I wanna be
175
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:22,630
[dog barking]
176
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,899
I'm o.J.--
O.J. Simpson.
177
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:28,001
Number 32
comin' through.
178
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:28,769
[Laughs]
179
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:29,937
I'm o.J. Simpson.
180
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:31,004
I gotta
get me a commercial
181
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,372
and run
through airports.
182
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,174
[Laughing]
183
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:35,609
I'm o.J. Simpson.
184
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:36,644
Greatest
football player
185
00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:37,678
that ever lived.
Look at that.
186
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:41,081
Straight arm.
I'm o.J. Simpson.
187
00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:43,083
Why did we
wear our uniforms?
188
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,117
They'll know
it was US.
189
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,654
They'll never suspect
it was real sanitation men.
190
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:49,623
They'll think
we stole the uniforms.
191
00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:50,624
Who would
steal the uniform
192
00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:51,759
of a sanitation man?
193
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,761
Woman: Next!
People.
194
00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:56,129
Crazy people.
Look around you.
195
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:56,897
You know,
they cut off
196
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,866
my welfare checks,
and I was going
197
00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:00,200
to Israel
with that money.
198
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,869
Here, boy.
[Laughing]
199
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,904
Man: I'm sorry.
I can't cash it for you.
200
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,739
Woman:
It's a government check.
201
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:06,707
It's a state check,
202
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:09,342
and you only have $8
in your checking account.
203
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:11,812
It's bank policy.
204
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:14,314
Bank policy.
Bank policy.
205
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,348
[Muttering]
206
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:17,918
Ooh, I didn't know that
cantaloupes was in season.
207
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,020
Please, I don't
wanna get caught.
208
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,188
Who's gonna catch US?
209
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:21,922
Bum: Ok!
[Laughing]
210
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,724
I hear that prison
is unpleasant.
211
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:25,693
It's crowded.
The food is no good.
212
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,695
Nobody cares!
213
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,096
Woman: Next!
214
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:32,199
I need this check cashed.
Please!
215
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:33,701
Next!
216
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:36,236
She scares me.
217
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:37,437
I'll handle her.
218
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,305
Woman 1: Talk to an officer.
219
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:39,807
Woman 2: I already
talked to an officer.
220
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,108
He said
he couldn't help me!
221
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,010
Then I can't
help you either.
222
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:43,977
[Crying]
223
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:45,212
Excuse US.
224
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,680
Checking or savings?
225
00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:47,347
Neither.
226
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:47,981
Well, then
I can't help you.
227
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,817
Go to the end
of the line.
228
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,752
It's a robbery.
229
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:52,853
Oh, shit.
230
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,789
I need this today.
231
00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,457
Shit this.
232
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,826
And if you try
anything funny,
233
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:01,228
I'll blow
your ugly head right off.
234
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:02,429
Man: Eugene!
235
00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:03,196
Would you shut up?
236
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:04,131
I never seen you
become so abusive.
237
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,900
I'm robbin' a bank.
I don't have to be nice.
238
00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:09,302
Mary, what do I do
when I'm being robbed?
239
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,838
You give US the money.
240
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:12,806
That's what you do,
beard-face.
241
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:13,673
Eugene!
242
00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:15,976
Would you shut up
with that Eugene bit?
243
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,945
You give 'em
the money. Next!
244
00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:19,479
You would give them
all your money,
245
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,815
and you won't cash
a government check?
246
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:23,450
Dear, they have a gun.
247
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,719
[Grunts]
248
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:29,289
Please! I talked
to an officer twice!
249
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:30,490
What's the problem, miss?
250
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:31,358
I don't know.
251
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:32,159
Maybe you
can help me.
252
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,761
I'm an actress,
I'm on unemployment,
253
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:36,363
and they won't cash
my unemployment check.
254
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,165
You have
any identification?
255
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:41,034
W-Well, sure.
256
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:43,703
Here's
my driver s license.
257
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,842
All right.
I'll initial it.
258
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,878
But just this once.
259
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,447
That doesn't
mean anything.
260
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:55,115
Eugene.
261
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:58,852
Cash the check,
Turkey tits.
262
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:01,121
How would you
like that, ma'am?
263
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,991
In cash.
264
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:06,827
[Mumbling]
265
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,897
Come on. Load it up,
miss piggy.
266
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:12,332
[Bum shouting]
267
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,870
Thank you so much.
268
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,108
I find you
enormously attractive.
269
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:23,076
How would you like
to accompany US
270
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,878
to the sunny
state of Florida?
271
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,346
Oh, gee,
I'd really love to,
272
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:27,881
but I have
an audition.
273
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,516
Then sit
on my face, bitch.
274
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:32,219
Greatest football player
that ever lived!
275
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,888
[Horns honking]
276
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,860
[Tires screeching]
277
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:42,162
[Tires screeching]
[Horns honking]
278
00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:47,835
[Dogs barking]
279
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,303
[Siren wailing]
280
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:53,573
Act like you're
a garbage man.
281
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,943
You better become
a garbage man.
282
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:02,950
I'm o.J. Simpson!
283
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:04,852
There he is!
I'm o.J.!
284
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,286
Ok, grab him.
285
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,922
[All shouting]
286
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:11,158
Hey! Hey!
287
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:14,928
No! There was 2 of them!
They went out the door!
288
00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,196
That is not
the right guy!
289
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:16,897
That's not him!
290
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:19,266
This is a lousy
neighborhood.
291
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,968
I look
like shit.
292
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,903
It don't
feel good.
293
00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:23,904
I look
like shit.
294
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:24,637
Of course
you look like shit.
295
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:26,139
You're dressed
in a dirty sheet.
296
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:27,975
Ever see yourself,
you son of a bitch?
297
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:30,878
You ugly bastard!
Look in the mirror!
298
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,613
I got an idea.
299
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,582
Get some bags.
300
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:38,251
Get on the truck.
301
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:44,157
[Both laughing]
302
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:46,193
We made it!
We did it!
303
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,862
All right!
All right!
304
00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:49,629
We did it!
305
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,398
All right!
All right!
306
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,866
[Both laughing]
307
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,634
Oh, baby!
308
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,036
What a job!
309
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:57,637
[Laughing]
310
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,572
Oh! Oh!
311
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:06,813
Is that
the right bag?
312
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,181
Of course
it's the right bag.
313
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:10,017
Are you sure
that's the right bag?
314
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,019
I'm positive!
315
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:15,488
[Shouting in
foreign language]
316
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:19,792
Eugene!
317
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:21,061
You son
of a bitch!
318
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:21,995
It's all right!
319
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:22,729
What's gonna
be all right?
320
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:25,966
An empty fuckin'
can of garbage!
321
00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:38,345
Yes! The money!
322
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:41,281
[Both laughing
and shouting]
323
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:55,495
We're rich!
We're rich!
324
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:58,365
* my mommy's
pouring cheerios
325
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,332
* hurrah
326
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:00,167
* hurrah
327
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,935
* she's pouring on
the oats for US *
328
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:03,703
* hurrah, hurrah
329
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,406
[blender whirring]
330
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:12,279
[Kids shouting]
331
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,681
Ok. Whee!
332
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:17,650
"Ricky,
the carnivorous pony,
333
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:18,718
by Duane Hansen."
334
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,020
Duane Hansen.
335
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,622
"Once upon a time
in a faraway land,
336
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:23,556
"there was
this pony,
337
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,158
and his name
was Ricky."
338
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:27,995
Get to
the "munch, munch" part!
339
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:29,062
Oh, it's coming.
340
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:29,862
It's coming.
341
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,031
"None of the children
could ride him
342
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,532
no matter how hard
they tried."
343
00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:33,666
Come on,
boys, eat.
344
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:34,467
Yeah, why not?
345
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:35,668
"Because when
a child
346
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:38,738
reached his hand
up to Ricky,"
347
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,040
aah!
348
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,208
"Munch, munch.
349
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:44,477
"Went Ricky's powerful,
flat, yellow teeth.
350
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:47,080
"And crunch, crunch,
351
00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:47,880
"crunch. Mmm...
352
00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:50,217
"That little boy
was entirely devoid
353
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,718
"of fingers.
[Horn honking]
354
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:52,552
Whee!"
355
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:53,620
The bus is here.
356
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,155
"Whee! Whee!
357
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:58,992
And the blood ran
across his blue lips."
358
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:01,128
Duane,
the bus is here.
359
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:02,262
Come on, guys.
The bus is here.
360
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,097
Let's go.
361
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:05,665
Whee!
Whee!
362
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:06,499
Whee! Whee! Whee!
363
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,135
Woman on TV:
It's a great pleasure now
364
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:09,202
to introduce my next guest,
365
00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:12,039
Barbara Reese,
formerly Bob Reese.
366
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:14,307
A woman who underwent
a sex change--
367
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:15,408
a sex operation.
368
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:16,776
Um, mittens, boys.
369
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:17,644
Welcome, Barbara.
370
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:18,545
Barbara, man's voice:
Thank you, Kelly.
371
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:21,248
How did your wife
first react to the news
372
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:22,182
when you went to her
373
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:25,352
and you said to her,
"I want to be a woman"?
374
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:27,520
Well, she was
not at all pleased.
375
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,489
[Shouting]
376
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:30,657
Daddy!
377
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,359
Denny!
378
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,394
Munch, munch!
379
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:37,164
[Growling]
380
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,333
Be good while I'm away.
381
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,135
Kelly on TV: When did you
first decide, Barbara,
382
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:44,304
that you wanted to be
a woman, not a man?
383
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,106
Barbara: Well, actually,
I first decided
384
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,040
when I was a soldier
385
00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:48,441
during the Vietnam war.
386
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:49,509
Jimmy dropped his cap.
387
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,711
Barbara: I believe it was
during the tet offensive.
388
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,680
Oh, they left
their mittens.
389
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:56,116
Yes, Duane.
390
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:58,685
Kelly: Well, did you
manage to keep your same job?
391
00:16:58,718 --> 00:16:59,552
[TV making
whirring noises]
392
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:02,355
Barbara: I did get
my old job back, yes.
393
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:05,058
I do the same work
that I always did,
394
00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:06,093
the only
difference being
395
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:08,295
that I get paid
less for it now.
396
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:09,562
Is something
burning?
397
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:10,830
Kelly: You have 2 children.
398
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,332
It's your book.
399
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,433
Duane: My book?
400
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:15,068
By your longtime marriage.
401
00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:18,105
How do they react
to the fact that you're--
402
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:19,606
Mrs. Hansen: No parent
in their right mind
403
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:20,607
would buy a book
for their child
404
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,376
called Ricky,
the carnivorous pony.
405
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:25,412
Your stories
are sick, Duane.
406
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:26,846
My stories
are funny, char.
407
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,681
I don't find them funny.
408
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,483
And I don't
find you funny.
409
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,219
Barbara: See, they think
that their father
410
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:33,620
is away on a job, and--
411
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,788
Kelly: But what
do they call you?
412
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,324
Auntie.
413
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:46,199
[Horn honking]
414
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:46,933
* well, my man
415
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:49,302
* he ain't
man enough for me *
416
00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:50,303
[inaudible shouting]
417
00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:51,138
* no, my man
418
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:54,241
* ain't enough
for a girl like me *
419
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:56,576
* well, he just don't know
420
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,178
* how to treat me right
421
00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:03,183
* oh, I can't go through
another lonely night *
422
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:07,420
* he comes home
from work each evening *
423
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,122
* grabs a beer
424
00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:10,857
* and watches TV
425
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:16,229
* I sweat and slave
to make his frozen dinners *
426
00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:17,430
[horns honking]
427
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:21,134
* but he just sits
and lets his supper be *
428
00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:21,901
* oh, my man
429
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,604
* he ain't
man enough for me *
430
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,239
* no, my man
431
00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,908
* ain't enough
for a girl like me *
432
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,444
* he just don't know
433
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,646
* how to treat me right
434
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,283
[music fades]
435
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:22,195
[Elephant bellows]
436
00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:23,596
Ok, I'm ready down here.
437
00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:24,864
Let's go!
438
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:27,534
All right,
let 'er rip!
439
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:28,635
Go ahead, bubbles.
440
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:29,969
[Trumpeting]
441
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,671
Are you sure
about this?
442
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:32,572
Let her go!
443
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:35,842
I'm telling you,
people will drive 35 miles
444
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,877
just to see
a water-skiing elephant.
445
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:40,280
All right, hang on!
Come on!
446
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:43,182
No, stop!
[Motor revving]
447
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,818
[Both yelling]
448
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,920
Oh, lord!
449
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:50,957
Woman: Oh, my stars,
you're all wet!
450
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:51,991
I know that, honey.
451
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,360
Well, did bubbles get up?
452
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:55,295
Bubbles is not
applying herself today.
453
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:55,962
Did you get
them in Utah?
454
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:57,230
It's ringing.
It's ringing.
455
00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:59,232
Oh, let's get
you dried off.
456
00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:01,701
Woman: Morning, Mr. Calo.
457
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:04,537
Having a nice vacation,
are you, miss barbutti?
458
00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:06,573
It goes by too quickly.
459
00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,508
Yes, it d--
hello!
460
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,611
Yes, I'd like to speak
to Mr. Damon Clark,
461
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:12,979
right now if--
462
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,247
woman: Mr. Calo?
463
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,147
Yes, Mrs. Lewenowski?
464
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,284
There aren't any more
reservations today.
465
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:21,521
Should I let
some of the girls go?
466
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:23,356
No, no. Uh--
467
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,292
stand by your stations.
468
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:27,494
Someone'll show up.
469
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:31,331
Hello, this is
safari parks, Utah?
470
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,400
Listen, son,
are the lions
471
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:35,034
and the rhino
on their way?
472
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,769
They're on the truck?
473
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:38,738
You sure now?
474
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:39,406
Good.
475
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:40,607
Say, tell me
something, son.
476
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:41,974
We're gonna have
to keep that rhino
477
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:43,976
in the garage
for a couple of weeks.
478
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,978
Will that be ok?
479
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:49,949
Aw, shit.
480
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:53,586
[All shouting]
481
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:56,389
[Rhino bellowing]
482
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,558
Get him up the other way!
Get him up the other--
483
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,460
get him--get him up
to the other end!
484
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:02,495
Now don't be afraid of him!
485
00:21:02,529 --> 00:21:05,365
* when you're out
there on the road *
486
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:09,302
* and you feel
you could explode *
487
00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:10,069
* and you
488
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:13,306
[scatting]
489
00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:14,474
[Tempo increases
on drum machine]
490
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:17,344
* when you're out
there on the road *
491
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:18,210
[rhino bellowing]
492
00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:19,145
* and your truck's
become your home *
493
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:23,416
you're holding back,
you're feeling--dreams.
494
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,318
Dreams.
495
00:21:27,687 --> 00:21:28,921
We're almost ready.
496
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:29,656
Mm-hmm.
497
00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:30,923
Just a few more seconds,
I think.
498
00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:31,591
Mm-hmm.
499
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,626
He's very close
to the ramp.
500
00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:35,862
[Yelling]
501
00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:38,965
[Cheering]
502
00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:41,401
[Yelling]
503
00:21:45,004 --> 00:21:47,874
It's the damnedest thing.
504
00:21:47,907 --> 00:21:49,842
He likes the snow.
505
00:21:49,876 --> 00:21:52,111
[Dog barking]
506
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:56,048
Hey, tell me
if you like this, ok?
507
00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,084
[Drum machine playing]
508
00:21:58,117 --> 00:22:01,388
* when you're out
there on your own *
509
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,423
* doo, doo, doo,
doo, doo, doo, doo *
510
00:22:03,456 --> 00:22:05,458
* and you're
holding back your-- *
511
00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:08,661
* doo, doo,
doo, doo, doo *
512
00:22:08,695 --> 00:22:09,729
you like
that one?
513
00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:11,063
Yeah, it's ok.
514
00:22:11,097 --> 00:22:13,400
Uh, the words
aren't too good.
515
00:22:13,433 --> 00:22:14,133
Oh, these ain't
the words.
516
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:16,569
I put the words
in later.
517
00:22:16,603 --> 00:22:18,771
Oh. Then it's very good.
518
00:22:18,805 --> 00:22:20,407
I mean, for a song
without words
519
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:21,574
written by
a truck driver,
520
00:22:21,608 --> 00:22:22,509
it's excellent.
521
00:22:22,542 --> 00:22:24,677
Hey, I'm not
a truck driver.
522
00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:27,046
I'm a songwriter.
523
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:28,548
[Man yelling]
524
00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:30,450
Uh, it's ok.
525
00:22:30,483 --> 00:22:33,119
[Men shouting]
[Grunting]
526
00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:38,591
Man: Yee-hoo! Whoo!
527
00:22:38,625 --> 00:22:39,559
Rhino's loaded!
528
00:22:39,592 --> 00:22:41,461
The rhino's loaded?
529
00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:42,395
* da, da, da
530
00:22:42,429 --> 00:22:44,497
* the rhino's loaded
531
00:22:44,531 --> 00:22:47,434
* the rhino's loaded
532
00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:48,435
* and he's holdin'
533
00:22:48,468 --> 00:22:50,102
* back his feelings
534
00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:52,839
[indistinct singing]
535
00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:55,975
Keep on singin'!
536
00:22:56,008 --> 00:22:56,809
[Scatting]
537
00:22:56,843 --> 00:22:59,479
* everybody's goin'
faster, faster *
538
00:22:59,512 --> 00:23:03,115
* everybody's goin'
faster, faster *
539
00:23:03,149 --> 00:23:05,485
* doo, doo, doo
540
00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:20,099
Man on speaker:
Oh, hey, Carmen!
541
00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:21,834
Hey.
542
00:23:23,970 --> 00:23:24,971
Man: Are you, uh, gonna
543
00:23:25,004 --> 00:23:27,139
be at Oliver's tap
again tonight?
544
00:23:27,173 --> 00:23:29,175
Oh, I don't know.
545
00:23:30,042 --> 00:23:31,478
I'm on vacation.
546
00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:34,981
Oh! Good for you!
547
00:23:35,014 --> 00:23:36,516
Shoot, I wanted
to take you out.
548
00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:37,183
I got a new car.
549
00:23:37,216 --> 00:23:38,585
This sure
is a lot of money
550
00:23:38,618 --> 00:23:40,052
you're pullin' out,
Carmen.
551
00:23:40,086 --> 00:23:41,921
300, 400, 500.
552
00:23:41,954 --> 00:23:43,956
Hey, you ought to see
the inside of my car.
553
00:23:43,990 --> 00:23:47,960
It's all tufted
in velour, you know.
554
00:23:47,994 --> 00:23:50,663
Thousand,
thousand five hundred,
555
00:23:50,697 --> 00:23:51,798
two thousand five,
556
00:23:51,831 --> 00:23:53,132
three thousand
five hundred.
557
00:23:53,165 --> 00:23:55,902
Well, that just about
closes you out, Carmen.
558
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:58,471
You better be careful
with all that.
559
00:23:58,505 --> 00:23:59,506
Oh, I will.
560
00:23:59,539 --> 00:24:01,140
Have a good vacation.
561
00:24:16,589 --> 00:24:19,792
Man over speaker:
Yes, may we help you?
562
00:24:19,826 --> 00:24:22,629
Lolita Shelby, please.
563
00:24:22,662 --> 00:24:24,531
The final remains
of lolita Shelby
564
00:24:24,564 --> 00:24:27,600
may be viewed in
pass-through number three.
565
00:24:27,634 --> 00:24:29,702
Hey, is that you,
Danny Corbin?
566
00:24:29,736 --> 00:24:31,738
Yes. Yes, it is.
Who is this?
567
00:24:31,771 --> 00:24:35,074
It's Carmen Odessa Shelby.
Remember me?
568
00:24:35,107 --> 00:24:36,909
Carmen Shelby? Sure.
569
00:24:36,943 --> 00:24:38,611
I remember
you and me
570
00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:39,779
in the back seat
of my car. We--
571
00:24:39,812 --> 00:24:45,618
oh, I-I m sorry about
your mama. Real sorry.
572
00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:48,588
Um, where did you say
she was again?
573
00:24:48,621 --> 00:24:49,789
Pass-through
number three.
574
00:24:49,822 --> 00:24:51,824
Would you like to take
your mama with you
575
00:24:51,858 --> 00:24:52,859
or have her sent?
576
00:24:52,892 --> 00:24:54,527
I'll take her.
577
00:24:54,561 --> 00:24:57,564
[Starts engine]
578
00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:03,536
[Organ playing]
579
00:25:15,782 --> 00:25:18,618
[Organ continues]
580
00:25:32,932 --> 00:25:35,635
[Chorus vocalizing]
581
00:25:40,740 --> 00:25:43,643
[Rock music playing]
582
00:25:50,817 --> 00:25:53,185
* the road
is like a river *
583
00:25:53,219 --> 00:25:55,154
* and it keeps me
movin' on *
584
00:25:55,187 --> 00:25:58,190
* just another
nameless driver *
585
00:25:58,224 --> 00:26:00,960
* in a rollin marathon
586
00:26:00,993 --> 00:26:03,596
* leave your worries
all behind you *
587
00:26:03,630 --> 00:26:07,299
* there's
a better life ahead *
588
00:26:07,333 --> 00:26:10,102
* and the highway
gypsies follow *
589
00:26:10,136 --> 00:26:14,240
* every word
the highway says *
590
00:26:14,273 --> 00:26:16,809
* it's a honky tonk
freeway *
591
00:26:16,843 --> 00:26:20,379
* it's america on wheels
592
00:26:20,412 --> 00:26:23,716
* motel rooms,
neon lights *
593
00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:25,251
* drive in,
drive-out meals *
594
00:26:25,284 --> 00:26:26,385
[horn honking]
595
00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:29,155
* and it's winding
cross the country *
596
00:26:29,188 --> 00:26:30,189
[honking continues]
597
00:26:30,222 --> 00:26:34,026
* just as far
as you can see *
598
00:26:36,195 --> 00:26:39,331
hey, what time is it?
599
00:26:39,365 --> 00:26:41,100
3:30.
600
00:26:41,133 --> 00:26:44,971
You know,
you're very cute.
601
00:26:45,838 --> 00:26:46,939
Oh.
602
00:26:46,973 --> 00:26:50,810
You're both
very cute. Bye.
603
00:26:50,843 --> 00:26:53,780
* it's a honky tonk
freeway *
604
00:26:53,813 --> 00:26:57,884
* it's paradise on wheels
605
00:26:57,917 --> 00:27:00,419
* motel rooms,
neon lights *
606
00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:03,956
* drive in,
drive-out meals *
607
00:27:03,990 --> 00:27:06,425
* and it's winding
cross the country *
608
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:10,062
* just as far
as you can see *
609
00:27:10,096 --> 00:27:13,700
* on the honky tonk
freeway *
610
00:27:13,733 --> 00:27:20,773
* that's where
I wanna be *
611
00:27:31,083 --> 00:27:33,352
Woody.
612
00:27:35,287 --> 00:27:37,690
Sherm, wait for me.
613
00:27:37,724 --> 00:27:38,590
Carol.
614
00:27:38,624 --> 00:27:40,893
Your nose is powdered,
your lipstick's on,
615
00:27:40,927 --> 00:27:42,328
your hair is combed.
You look fine.
616
00:27:42,361 --> 00:27:44,764
Come on.
Let's have lunch.
617
00:27:44,797 --> 00:27:46,899
Sherm, I'm not drunk.
618
00:27:49,435 --> 00:27:52,071
Oh, god!
619
00:27:53,305 --> 00:27:55,407
It's just
a little accident.
620
00:27:55,441 --> 00:27:58,277
It's just
a little accident.
621
00:28:01,447 --> 00:28:03,750
Do you have to
booze it up, Carol?
622
00:28:03,783 --> 00:28:05,785
A mixed drink
is not booze, sherman.
623
00:28:05,818 --> 00:28:08,220
It's a cocktail.
A before-dinner drink.
624
00:28:08,254 --> 00:28:10,156
But dinner isn't
for 5 hours yet.
625
00:28:10,189 --> 00:28:12,725
Ah, yes. But what
you're forgetting, sherm,
626
00:28:12,759 --> 00:28:14,026
is that time
is relative.
627
00:28:14,060 --> 00:28:15,862
To what, Carol? Life?
628
00:28:15,895 --> 00:28:16,829
No, sherm. Need.
629
00:28:16,863 --> 00:28:21,067
Time is relative to need.
Einstein was wrong.
630
00:28:21,768 --> 00:28:24,103
Terrific car.
Look at that.
631
00:28:24,136 --> 00:28:26,272
Hey, uh,
and terrific stuff, too.
632
00:28:26,305 --> 00:28:28,107
Let's take the car
and the stuff.
633
00:28:28,140 --> 00:28:28,841
Nope, that's wrong.
634
00:28:28,875 --> 00:28:30,877
We're not gonna take
their stuff.
635
00:28:30,910 --> 00:28:32,311
What, are you crazy?
636
00:28:32,344 --> 00:28:33,145
Nope.
637
00:28:33,179 --> 00:28:34,213
Come on.
Nope.
638
00:28:34,246 --> 00:28:36,115
You've gotta
be nuts.
639
00:28:36,148 --> 00:28:38,785
Will you try it
for a few weeks?
640
00:28:38,818 --> 00:28:40,853
Sherm,
I'm not an alcoholic.
641
00:28:40,887 --> 00:28:42,955
Your mother
was an alcoholic.
642
00:28:42,989 --> 00:28:44,523
Where did she
do her drinking?
643
00:28:44,556 --> 00:28:45,424
Alone.
644
00:28:45,457 --> 00:28:47,226
You see?
Now, am I alone?
645
00:28:47,259 --> 00:28:50,162
And did she hide her bottle
in the rice krispies
646
00:28:50,196 --> 00:28:52,398
and the laundry hamper
and shoe box?
647
00:28:52,431 --> 00:28:53,299
Yep. Yep, yep, yep.
648
00:28:53,332 --> 00:28:55,868
Now, these are symptoms
of the alcoholic.
649
00:28:55,902 --> 00:28:56,869
Classic symptoms.
650
00:28:56,903 --> 00:28:59,205
Do I have
any of these symptoms?
651
00:28:59,238 --> 00:29:01,307
No, you don't.
Thank you.
652
00:29:01,340 --> 00:29:02,842
Can I get you
anything to drink?
653
00:29:02,875 --> 00:29:06,012
I'll have
5 old-fashioneds.
654
00:29:07,413 --> 00:29:08,881
Coke for me.
655
00:29:08,915 --> 00:29:11,217
Do you realize, sherman,
I have never purchased
656
00:29:11,250 --> 00:29:13,886
a bottle of liquor
in my life?
657
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:14,586
Oh, I know that.
658
00:29:14,620 --> 00:29:15,521
So how could I be
an alcoholic
659
00:29:15,554 --> 00:29:18,791
if I've never purchased
a bottle of liquor?
660
00:29:18,825 --> 00:29:19,892
Carol, you're having
661
00:29:19,926 --> 00:29:22,261
5 old-fashioneds
for lunch.
662
00:29:22,294 --> 00:29:23,195
That is an alcoholic.
663
00:29:23,229 --> 00:29:25,932
I'm hungry. Besides,
these are mixed drinks.
664
00:29:25,965 --> 00:29:28,000
Do you know
an alcoholic anywhere
665
00:29:28,034 --> 00:29:31,137
who only drinks
mixed drinks?
666
00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:34,573
The other four
will be here right away.
667
00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:36,475
No hurry.
668
00:29:36,876 --> 00:29:39,211
This place
is so cute.
669
00:29:39,245 --> 00:29:40,813
Cheers.
670
00:29:40,847 --> 00:29:42,815
[Sighs] Cheers.
671
00:29:44,951 --> 00:29:49,889
Didn't your ad agency
name the swizzle stick, sherm?
672
00:29:49,922 --> 00:29:50,522
No.
673
00:29:50,556 --> 00:29:51,590
Weaver, O'Leary
and mudge
674
00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:54,560
named the swizzle stick
in 1924.
675
00:29:54,593 --> 00:29:57,096
You notice how I never
suck my orange slice?
676
00:29:57,129 --> 00:29:58,998
That's the sure sign
of an alcoholic.
677
00:29:59,031 --> 00:30:02,902
Just go to one meeting,
Carol. Try it. Please.
678
00:30:02,935 --> 00:30:04,303
No.
679
00:30:09,308 --> 00:30:12,578
Someone is stealing
our car, sherm.
680
00:30:12,611 --> 00:30:14,981
What? You're already
mumbling, Carol.
681
00:30:15,014 --> 00:30:16,582
It's only 1:30,
and you're mumbling.
682
00:30:16,615 --> 00:30:19,285
Why would they steal the car
and leave the luggage?
683
00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:20,519
Just try it
for a few weeks.
684
00:30:20,552 --> 00:30:21,988
Well, it looks
like our car.
685
00:30:22,021 --> 00:30:22,721
Carol, if you pass out
686
00:30:22,754 --> 00:30:24,590
with your head
against the window
687
00:30:24,623 --> 00:30:25,491
while I'm driving,
688
00:30:25,524 --> 00:30:27,459
I'm just gonna pull over
onto the shoulder.
689
00:30:27,493 --> 00:30:28,227
I swear it.
690
00:30:28,260 --> 00:30:29,996
It's too lonely
driving like that.
691
00:30:30,029 --> 00:30:32,932
Sherm, will you
please look--
692
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:36,368
oh, look it here.
693
00:30:58,490 --> 00:31:01,560
Honey, could you pour me
another cup of coffee?
694
00:31:01,593 --> 00:31:04,030
Caffeine.
695
00:31:04,063 --> 00:31:05,965
Caffeine.
696
00:31:05,998 --> 00:31:08,634
[TV playing
indistinctly]
697
00:31:08,667 --> 00:31:12,438
[Sighs]
Isn't this beautiful?
698
00:31:12,471 --> 00:31:13,139
Mm-hmm.
699
00:31:13,172 --> 00:31:15,341
This is
monument valley, kids.
700
00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:20,079
Delia, little Billy,
look at monument valley.
701
00:31:20,112 --> 00:31:21,613
TV: I'm a doctor,
I know that--
702
00:31:21,647 --> 00:31:24,951
kids, you know,
this is where our forefathers
703
00:31:24,984 --> 00:31:26,652
carved their way
through the wilderness
704
00:31:26,685 --> 00:31:29,588
all by themselves.
705
00:31:29,621 --> 00:31:32,024
Mommy,
I have to go potty.
706
00:31:32,058 --> 00:31:33,692
Oh, crud. Euphemisms.
707
00:31:33,725 --> 00:31:34,426
We're looking for a place.
708
00:31:34,460 --> 00:31:35,928
We're gonna
stop soon, pumpkin.
709
00:31:35,962 --> 00:31:37,263
Mr. Kramer: We are
not going to stop
710
00:31:37,296 --> 00:31:38,530
until we are
in new Mexico.
711
00:31:38,564 --> 00:31:40,232
Little Billy,
you can use
712
00:31:40,266 --> 00:31:41,233
the r.V. Bathroom.
713
00:31:41,267 --> 00:31:44,103
He does not like to use
the bathroom in the r.V.
714
00:31:44,136 --> 00:31:47,073
But hurry, mommy.
I have to go tinkle.
715
00:31:47,106 --> 00:31:48,540
Mrs. Kramer:
He has to go tinkle.
716
00:31:48,574 --> 00:31:51,477
Crud. Why can't you just
call it what it is?
717
00:31:51,510 --> 00:31:52,078
Delia.
718
00:31:52,111 --> 00:31:53,946
Say, "I have
to urinate."
719
00:31:53,980 --> 00:31:55,014
Delia.
720
00:31:55,047 --> 00:31:56,348
Say, "I have to piss."
721
00:31:56,382 --> 00:31:58,717
Say, "I have to let go
with the yellow flow."
722
00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:00,086
Delia! Put that down.
723
00:32:00,119 --> 00:32:00,852
Little Billy,
724
00:32:00,886 --> 00:32:01,853
now, you can use
the r.V. Bathroom.
725
00:32:01,887 --> 00:32:05,357
It's got one. That's why
we bought the n-25 unit.
726
00:32:05,391 --> 00:32:08,727
Just go back there
and use it like a man.
727
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:09,962
No!
728
00:32:09,996 --> 00:32:11,330
He doesn't like
the r.V. Bathroom.
729
00:32:11,363 --> 00:32:12,965
He likes to pee
in gas stations.
730
00:32:12,999 --> 00:32:14,233
He's a freak!
731
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:15,501
[Laughs]
It's just a phase.
732
00:32:15,534 --> 00:32:17,303
Do you know how many
root canals I did
733
00:32:17,336 --> 00:32:19,438
to pay for this
damn thing?
734
00:32:19,471 --> 00:32:20,306
96.
735
00:32:20,339 --> 00:32:22,274
I bought it so we could
all be together.
736
00:32:22,308 --> 00:32:24,743
So far,
nobody's eaten in it,
737
00:32:24,776 --> 00:32:26,278
nobody's slept in it,
738
00:32:26,312 --> 00:32:28,114
so he can damn well
pee in it!
739
00:32:28,147 --> 00:32:28,947
You know something?
740
00:32:28,981 --> 00:32:31,150
I've just about had it
with all of you.
741
00:32:31,183 --> 00:32:32,985
Next summer,
they can go off
742
00:32:33,019 --> 00:32:33,819
to summer camp,
and you and i--
743
00:32:33,852 --> 00:32:35,521
ok, ok. You can go
where you wanna go,
744
00:32:35,554 --> 00:32:36,522
and I will go
somewhere else.
745
00:32:36,555 --> 00:32:38,690
Kirby: Now, a number
of you people
746
00:32:38,724 --> 00:32:39,992
have been comin' up to me
747
00:32:40,026 --> 00:32:42,394
and sayin' that
this town is failing.
748
00:32:42,428 --> 00:32:45,497
But I think god
wants US to be successful.
749
00:32:45,531 --> 00:32:46,999
Hallelujah!
750
00:32:47,033 --> 00:32:48,134
All:
Hallelujah!
751
00:32:48,167 --> 00:32:49,668
Hallelujah for ticlaw!
752
00:32:49,701 --> 00:32:52,004
All: Hallelujah for ticlaw!
753
00:32:52,038 --> 00:32:54,306
But he's testing you.
754
00:32:54,340 --> 00:32:57,209
Yes, he is.
The lord said,
755
00:32:57,243 --> 00:32:58,177
"what you give unto me,
756
00:32:58,210 --> 00:33:01,480
I will return
onto you tenfold."
757
00:33:01,513 --> 00:33:02,548
Well, one
of our brothers
758
00:33:02,581 --> 00:33:04,050
sittin' right here
amongst US
759
00:33:04,083 --> 00:33:07,119
on his income tax
only reported fivefold.
760
00:33:07,153 --> 00:33:09,055
And the government
didn't like that.
761
00:33:09,088 --> 00:33:09,788
[Murmuring]
762
00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:12,424
But he had faith,
a loving wife
763
00:33:12,458 --> 00:33:14,026
and a great accountant.
764
00:33:14,060 --> 00:33:15,561
Praise god
for our brother!
765
00:33:15,594 --> 00:33:17,096
All: Praise god!
766
00:33:17,129 --> 00:33:19,765
We are all, each
and every one of US,
767
00:33:19,798 --> 00:33:21,267
being tested.
768
00:33:21,300 --> 00:33:22,701
Now, one of
the loveliest creatures
769
00:33:22,734 --> 00:33:25,037
in our congregation
came to me and she said,
770
00:33:25,071 --> 00:33:27,506
"reverend, I am
hooked on valium."
771
00:33:27,539 --> 00:33:29,041
Yes, she did!
772
00:33:29,075 --> 00:33:29,908
[Murmuring]
773
00:33:29,941 --> 00:33:30,709
"I cannot even go
to the 7-Eleven store
774
00:33:30,742 --> 00:33:33,745
without taking
3 valiums," she said.
775
00:33:33,779 --> 00:33:35,581
"I am afraid--"
she said,
776
00:33:35,614 --> 00:33:36,815
"I am afraid
that one night
777
00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:38,684
"while I am
serving dinner,
778
00:33:38,717 --> 00:33:39,818
"I will trip and fall
779
00:33:39,851 --> 00:33:41,820
"into the shag carpet
and disappear,
780
00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:44,456
never to come up again."
781
00:33:44,490 --> 00:33:46,292
I said,
"woman, you get up!"
782
00:33:46,325 --> 00:33:49,228
And she did get up,
found faith,
783
00:33:49,261 --> 00:33:50,796
and she found god!
784
00:33:50,829 --> 00:33:52,598
[Shouts of "amen"]
785
00:33:52,631 --> 00:33:54,633
And she threw away
her valium.
786
00:33:54,666 --> 00:33:55,667
Yes, she did.
787
00:33:55,701 --> 00:33:58,570
We are all being tested,
each and every one of US.
788
00:33:58,604 --> 00:34:01,073
The lord said to me,
789
00:34:01,107 --> 00:34:03,109
"build a safari park
in ticlaw."
790
00:34:03,142 --> 00:34:04,076
Then they came along
791
00:34:04,110 --> 00:34:07,213
and built their superhighway
right next to US.
792
00:34:07,246 --> 00:34:08,013
[Murmuring]
793
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:10,216
He didn't say nothin'
about no exit.
794
00:34:10,249 --> 00:34:12,151
But that is our test--
795
00:34:12,184 --> 00:34:14,853
how to get them here
with no exit.
796
00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:17,756
So we're gonna try
everything and anything,
797
00:34:17,789 --> 00:34:19,091
and I mean anything,
798
00:34:19,125 --> 00:34:21,360
and we are gonna rise up
to this challenge.
799
00:34:21,393 --> 00:34:22,394
Yes, we are.
800
00:34:22,428 --> 00:34:25,197
We are gonna soar like
eagles if we stick together.
801
00:34:25,231 --> 00:34:28,600
If we stand up
and sing together,
802
00:34:28,634 --> 00:34:31,170
because we got faith!
803
00:34:31,203 --> 00:34:34,106
* oh, ticlaw, ticlaw
804
00:34:34,140 --> 00:34:37,543
* wonderful, beautiful
part of heaven *
805
00:34:37,576 --> 00:34:39,678
* ticlaw, ticlaw
806
00:34:39,711 --> 00:34:42,848
* wonderful,
beautiful town *
807
00:34:42,881 --> 00:34:45,384
* oh, ticlaw, ticlaw
808
00:34:45,417 --> 00:34:49,155
* wonderful, beautiful
part of heaven *
809
00:34:49,188 --> 00:34:51,423
* ticlaw, ticlaw
810
00:34:51,457 --> 00:34:54,526
* wonderful,
beautiful town *
811
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:56,895
man: Kirby, I think
this is crazy, man.
812
00:34:56,928 --> 00:34:58,497
Look, people are startin'
to complain,
813
00:34:58,530 --> 00:34:59,765
and I really feel
that it's illegal.
814
00:34:59,798 --> 00:35:02,701
This is not illegal.
And we are desperate.
815
00:35:02,734 --> 00:35:04,136
This is a resort town.
816
00:35:04,170 --> 00:35:05,070
We gotta get
our tourists here.
817
00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:07,706
Yeah, but I'm the sheriff
of this town, man.
818
00:35:07,739 --> 00:35:08,674
I'm the mayor!
819
00:35:08,707 --> 00:35:10,542
I'm the minister of
the ticlaw baptist church.
820
00:35:10,576 --> 00:35:13,179
I'm the president of
the rotary of the elks,
821
00:35:13,212 --> 00:35:14,680
and I have 2 lions
and a rhinoceros
822
00:35:14,713 --> 00:35:15,847
coming here.
823
00:35:15,881 --> 00:35:16,848
And I warned you about that.
824
00:35:16,882 --> 00:35:18,650
I told you that's a dumb idea,
that safari park.
825
00:35:18,684 --> 00:35:20,619
Don't be afraid to pour
it on there, r.G.!
826
00:35:20,652 --> 00:35:22,888
There are too many
safari parks in Florida.
827
00:35:22,921 --> 00:35:24,390
This place is startin'
to look like Africa.
828
00:35:24,423 --> 00:35:26,192
And the next thing
you'll want me to do
829
00:35:26,225 --> 00:35:27,193
is walk around
with a spear
830
00:35:27,226 --> 00:35:28,360
and a bone
through my nose.
831
00:35:28,394 --> 00:35:31,363
Well, now,
that ain't a bad idea.
832
00:35:31,397 --> 00:35:32,198
Oh, no.
833
00:35:32,231 --> 00:35:33,131
Why don't you come out
834
00:35:33,165 --> 00:35:34,800
and join US and help US
and give US a hand?
835
00:35:34,833 --> 00:35:35,601
No.
836
00:35:35,634 --> 00:35:36,935
Do it for me as a favor.
837
00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:37,836
Man, I don't know.
838
00:35:37,869 --> 00:35:40,272
Well, then, do it
for private enterprise.
839
00:35:40,306 --> 00:35:42,374
Do it for the little guy,
for Christ s sakes.
840
00:35:42,408 --> 00:35:44,910
Sheriff:
I don't know, Kirby.
841
00:35:48,247 --> 00:35:51,517
Ok, all clear now! Come on!
Let's go! Come on!
842
00:35:51,550 --> 00:35:53,552
Woman: Come on, now,
honey bubbles.
843
00:35:53,585 --> 00:35:56,388
Take another donut,
and pull.
844
00:35:56,422 --> 00:35:58,190
Come on.
845
00:35:58,224 --> 00:35:59,491
Pull!
846
00:35:59,525 --> 00:36:01,960
That's it.
847
00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:03,595
One more, now.
All right.
848
00:36:03,629 --> 00:36:06,798
Oh, that's beautiful!
849
00:36:16,908 --> 00:36:17,809
Could I, uh--
850
00:36:17,843 --> 00:36:21,313
excuse me, could I have
more coffee, please?
851
00:36:23,315 --> 00:36:25,251
Bitch.
852
00:36:37,629 --> 00:36:40,332
[Indistinct chatter]
853
00:36:43,602 --> 00:36:47,306
Thanks.
854
00:36:50,676 --> 00:36:52,544
Thank you.
855
00:36:53,312 --> 00:36:54,746
Here.
856
00:36:56,482 --> 00:36:57,549
This waitress--
857
00:36:57,583 --> 00:36:58,617
hey, are you a--
858
00:36:58,650 --> 00:37:00,386
[chuckles]
No, you go on.
859
00:37:00,419 --> 00:37:01,620
Oh, nothin'.
860
00:37:01,653 --> 00:37:02,454
I was just gonna say
861
00:37:02,488 --> 00:37:04,456
that these waitresses
are impossible.
862
00:37:04,490 --> 00:37:05,357
Yeah?
863
00:37:05,391 --> 00:37:07,559
They don't care.
864
00:37:07,593 --> 00:37:10,396
It's kinda late
and all.
865
00:37:12,298 --> 00:37:14,032
What's your name?
866
00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:16,802
Duane Hansen.
867
00:37:16,835 --> 00:37:20,272
I'm Carmen Odessa
Shelby.
868
00:37:20,306 --> 00:37:24,410
Are you a writer
or somethin' or what?
869
00:37:24,443 --> 00:37:25,611
No.
870
00:37:25,644 --> 00:37:29,348
No, uh--
what do you do?
871
00:37:29,381 --> 00:37:31,917
I'm a waitress.
872
00:37:31,950 --> 00:37:33,919
[Chuckles]
873
00:37:33,952 --> 00:37:36,955
You makin' fun of me
now or what?
874
00:37:36,988 --> 00:37:38,424
[Chuckles] No.
875
00:37:38,457 --> 00:37:41,460
I bet you're
a good waitress.
876
00:37:42,461 --> 00:37:43,862
What, um--
877
00:37:43,895 --> 00:37:46,064
what's in that thing there?
878
00:37:46,097 --> 00:37:48,500
Is that, uh, pebbles?
Seashells?
879
00:37:48,534 --> 00:37:49,134
What?
880
00:37:49,167 --> 00:37:51,537
Actually,
it's my mother.
881
00:37:51,570 --> 00:37:52,938
What?
882
00:37:52,971 --> 00:37:55,507
Well, she wanted
to be cremated.
883
00:37:55,541 --> 00:37:57,576
She was real dramatic
and she said,
884
00:37:57,609 --> 00:38:00,078
"when I'm gone,
burn me up."
885
00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:03,349
So, I did.
886
00:38:03,382 --> 00:38:06,452
Hey, what's
your name again?
887
00:38:06,485 --> 00:38:08,620
Duane.
888
00:38:09,355 --> 00:38:11,390
Mama, this is Duane.
889
00:38:11,423 --> 00:38:16,395
Duane, this is my mama,
lolita Shelby.
890
00:38:16,428 --> 00:38:17,829
It's kind of hard
to believe
891
00:38:17,863 --> 00:38:19,465
there's a 250-pound
woman in there
892
00:38:19,498 --> 00:38:21,400
with dirty hair
and a double chin,
893
00:38:21,433 --> 00:38:23,369
now isn't it?
Yeah.
894
00:38:23,402 --> 00:38:25,003
It's kind of--
895
00:38:28,073 --> 00:38:29,841
my mama wore wigs.
896
00:38:29,875 --> 00:38:32,010
For the past 3 days,
897
00:38:32,043 --> 00:38:35,080
I've been throwin' out
wigs, wigs
898
00:38:35,113 --> 00:38:37,416
and more wigs.
899
00:38:39,718 --> 00:38:42,354
Anyway, uh,
what do you do?
900
00:38:42,388 --> 00:38:45,524
I repair copy machines.
901
00:38:45,557 --> 00:38:46,892
That's difficult.
902
00:38:46,925 --> 00:38:49,895
You can't get just anybody
to do that.
903
00:38:49,928 --> 00:38:53,031
You got a skill.
904
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,503
You wouldn't wanna
go have a drink
905
00:38:57,536 --> 00:38:58,970
or something?
906
00:38:59,004 --> 00:39:00,506
A drink or something?
907
00:39:00,539 --> 00:39:01,673
Yeah.
908
00:39:01,707 --> 00:39:05,611
Well, gosh.
909
00:39:05,944 --> 00:39:09,581
I don't know,
it's-it's late.
910
00:39:09,615 --> 00:39:11,850
Yeah, it's late.
911
00:39:13,552 --> 00:39:15,487
So what?
912
00:39:15,521 --> 00:39:17,923
Do you--do you
live alone or what?
913
00:39:17,956 --> 00:39:20,559
No, I live with my--
914
00:39:21,627 --> 00:39:22,694
i--
915
00:39:22,728 --> 00:39:25,497
I'm sorry
about your mother.
916
00:39:25,531 --> 00:39:26,798
Yeah.
917
00:39:26,832 --> 00:39:28,567
We were friends.
918
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:31,570
She was a waitress, too.
919
00:39:31,603 --> 00:39:35,607
And we were gonna go
on vacation together.
920
00:39:35,641 --> 00:39:39,611
So that's why I say
you just gotta live day by day.
921
00:39:39,645 --> 00:39:42,147
And the future?
922
00:39:44,516 --> 00:39:47,453
I talk too much.
Nobody wants to hear it.
923
00:39:47,486 --> 00:39:48,820
Everybody thinks I'm crazy.
924
00:39:48,854 --> 00:39:52,157
Well, we're all crazy.
Right?
925
00:39:52,190 --> 00:39:53,091
[Chuckles]
926
00:39:53,124 --> 00:39:56,495
So hey,
what's your sign?
927
00:40:00,599 --> 00:40:04,002
* look at those women
look at those men *
928
00:40:04,035 --> 00:40:06,472
* throwin'
their lives away *
929
00:40:06,505 --> 00:40:10,041
* hopin' lady luck
will get them down *
930
00:40:10,075 --> 00:40:12,544
* this honky tonky freeway
931
00:40:12,578 --> 00:40:15,514
* and there's,
there's a rhino loose *
932
00:40:15,547 --> 00:40:18,550
* ooh, she loves
that juice *
933
00:40:18,584 --> 00:40:21,953
* she hits the nearest bar
then waves to every car *
934
00:40:21,987 --> 00:40:24,222
* she's got nothin'
else to do *
935
00:40:24,255 --> 00:40:27,192
* everybody's goin'
faster faster *
936
00:40:27,225 --> 00:40:31,463
* everybody's goin'
faster faster *
937
00:40:31,497 --> 00:40:33,899
[music fades]
938
00:40:34,265 --> 00:40:38,970
[Moans] Oh, it's kinking up
on me again.
939
00:40:39,004 --> 00:40:39,671
Ooh!
940
00:40:39,705 --> 00:40:41,106
I know what's wrong
with you.
941
00:40:41,139 --> 00:40:42,474
No, you don't.
Yes, I do.
942
00:40:42,508 --> 00:40:44,476
You don't know.
You don't.
943
00:40:44,510 --> 00:40:45,243
I do know. I do.
944
00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:47,178
Honey, would you
just relax?
945
00:40:47,212 --> 00:40:49,715
I'm relaxed.
946
00:40:52,150 --> 00:40:53,652
Are we there yet?
947
00:40:53,685 --> 00:40:55,521
Almost, sweetheart.
948
00:40:55,554 --> 00:40:57,789
When will we be there?
949
00:40:57,823 --> 00:40:59,491
Soon.
950
00:40:59,525 --> 00:41:00,859
Little Billy.
951
00:41:00,892 --> 00:41:02,494
What?
952
00:41:02,528 --> 00:41:04,896
[Water running]
953
00:41:15,907 --> 00:41:17,609
Freak!
954
00:41:22,581 --> 00:41:25,083
[Indistinct chatter]
955
00:41:54,613 --> 00:41:57,515
I'm gonna try it again.
956
00:41:58,884 --> 00:42:01,553
[Engine cranking]
957
00:42:01,853 --> 00:42:04,690
[Horn honking continuously]
958
00:42:07,693 --> 00:42:08,493
[Horn stops]
959
00:42:08,526 --> 00:42:10,629
I can't stand this.
I can't stand it.
960
00:42:10,662 --> 00:42:12,631
They can take away
my job,
961
00:42:12,664 --> 00:42:13,632
they can take away
our house
962
00:42:13,665 --> 00:42:14,833
and make US live
in a condominium
963
00:42:14,866 --> 00:42:15,867
with a bunch
of old farts,
964
00:42:15,901 --> 00:42:18,003
but they cannot
take away my car!
965
00:42:18,036 --> 00:42:19,571
[Horns honking]
966
00:42:19,605 --> 00:42:21,573
Give me back my car,
you bastards!
967
00:42:21,607 --> 00:42:23,041
Give me back--
give me back my car!
968
00:42:23,074 --> 00:42:25,143
Stop it, sherman.
Get back in this car.
969
00:42:25,176 --> 00:42:27,646
Get control of your life!
970
00:42:30,381 --> 00:42:34,720
I have never seen you
like this.
971
00:42:38,289 --> 00:42:40,692
I liked that car.
972
00:42:40,726 --> 00:42:42,694
It was my prize.
973
00:42:42,728 --> 00:42:44,029
I know.
It was an honor.
974
00:42:44,062 --> 00:42:47,098
Best ad man--
1956, 57, 58.
975
00:42:47,132 --> 00:42:48,834
1954, 55, 56, Carol.
976
00:42:48,867 --> 00:42:50,301
Will you get
my career straight
977
00:42:50,335 --> 00:42:52,671
just for once?
978
00:42:52,904 --> 00:42:54,773
Where's the tow truck?
979
00:42:54,806 --> 00:42:55,540
It's not coming.
980
00:42:55,573 --> 00:42:57,308
They're not gonna
even let US die
981
00:42:57,342 --> 00:42:58,677
in Florida playing
shuffleboard.
982
00:42:58,710 --> 00:43:00,612
It's gonna be right
here, tonight, Carol.
983
00:43:00,646 --> 00:43:01,680
Don't be morbid.
The truck will come.
984
00:43:01,713 --> 00:43:04,950
I can see my New York times
obituary right now.
985
00:43:04,983 --> 00:43:05,851
"Sherman schaffler
986
00:43:05,884 --> 00:43:07,686
"sneezed himself to
death in a rented car
987
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:10,756
by the side of the road
with his alcoholic wife."
988
00:43:10,789 --> 00:43:13,825
Oh, I-I m sorry.
989
00:43:13,859 --> 00:43:16,628
I didn t mean that.
990
00:43:16,662 --> 00:43:18,864
I know.
991
00:43:21,700 --> 00:43:23,769
Well...
992
00:43:23,802 --> 00:43:25,370
I'm going to walk
993
00:43:25,403 --> 00:43:26,738
to the nearest
gas station.
994
00:43:26,772 --> 00:43:28,373
I'll go with you.
995
00:43:28,406 --> 00:43:30,742
We're in this together.
996
00:43:30,776 --> 00:43:33,011
* years from now
997
00:43:33,044 --> 00:43:35,714
[Carol grunting]
998
00:43:35,747 --> 00:43:38,049
* I'll want you
999
00:43:38,083 --> 00:43:42,688
* years from now
1000
00:43:42,721 --> 00:43:45,290
* and I'll love you
1001
00:43:45,323 --> 00:43:47,125
[horn honking]
1002
00:43:47,158 --> 00:43:50,696
* years from now
1003
00:43:50,729 --> 00:43:53,064
* as I love you tonight
1004
00:43:53,098 --> 00:43:56,735
hi. What seems
to be the problem?
1005
00:43:56,768 --> 00:43:58,336
The damn thing
won't start.
1006
00:43:58,369 --> 00:43:59,004
That's the problem.
1007
00:43:59,037 --> 00:44:00,706
The damned thing
won't start.
1008
00:44:00,739 --> 00:44:02,440
You got gasoline in it?
1009
00:44:02,473 --> 00:44:04,342
Of course
there's gas in it.
1010
00:44:04,375 --> 00:44:05,777
It just won't start.
1011
00:44:05,811 --> 00:44:09,080
* always my one
1012
00:44:09,114 --> 00:44:12,918
* true friend
1013
00:44:12,951 --> 00:44:15,220
* and I'll love you
1014
00:44:15,253 --> 00:44:17,455
* till life's end
1015
00:44:17,488 --> 00:44:20,325
[engine starts]
1016
00:44:20,358 --> 00:44:24,129
* as I love you tonight
1017
00:44:24,162 --> 00:44:27,866
well, that'll be $45.
1018
00:44:30,068 --> 00:44:35,473
* I know this world
that we live in *
1019
00:44:35,506 --> 00:44:36,842
20.
1020
00:44:36,875 --> 00:44:40,478
40. 45.
Son of a bitch.
1021
00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:42,748
Have a good day.
1022
00:44:43,949 --> 00:44:46,384
Slide through, Carol.
1023
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:52,891
* still, love
has kept US together *
1024
00:44:52,924 --> 00:44:56,728
would you like to go
for a cocktail?
1025
00:44:56,762 --> 00:44:59,731
Oh, well,
if you want one.
1026
00:44:59,765 --> 00:45:01,900
[Starts engine]
1027
00:45:17,182 --> 00:45:19,517
Would you believe it?
Husbands send in
1028
00:45:19,550 --> 00:45:21,452
naked pictures
of their wives
1029
00:45:21,486 --> 00:45:23,121
with little comments
for $50.
1030
00:45:23,154 --> 00:45:25,957
Who would do
a thing like that? Huh?
1031
00:45:25,991 --> 00:45:27,826
[Sneezes]
1032
00:45:27,859 --> 00:45:31,362
Why do you sneeze every time
you look at a naked woman?
1033
00:45:31,396 --> 00:45:32,898
I got a cold.
1034
00:45:32,931 --> 00:45:33,631
A cold, huh?
1035
00:45:33,664 --> 00:45:36,267
Are you sure
it's not an allergy?
1036
00:45:36,301 --> 00:45:38,837
Listen to this.
1037
00:45:38,870 --> 00:45:41,539
"Annie Jo Wheeler.
A social worker.
1038
00:45:41,572 --> 00:45:43,909
"Into needlepoint,
stock cars,
1039
00:45:43,942 --> 00:45:46,912
charity work
and group sex."
1040
00:45:46,945 --> 00:45:49,380
Who the hell
are these people?
1041
00:45:49,414 --> 00:45:51,249
[Sneezes]
1042
00:45:51,282 --> 00:45:54,119
You know, I think you sneeze
every time you get excited.
1043
00:45:54,152 --> 00:45:56,387
Don't be silly.
1044
00:45:56,421 --> 00:45:58,089
[Chuckling] Huh?
1045
00:45:58,456 --> 00:45:59,524
What are you doin'?
1046
00:45:59,557 --> 00:46:01,326
I'm givin'
this kid a ride.
1047
00:46:01,359 --> 00:46:02,060
Why?
1048
00:46:02,093 --> 00:46:04,495
It's cold, it's wet.
He's a kid.
1049
00:46:04,529 --> 00:46:05,363
He could be a cop.
1050
00:46:05,396 --> 00:46:08,299
He's gonna have to sit
next to our money.
1051
00:46:19,878 --> 00:46:22,180
So, you're a student?
1052
00:46:22,213 --> 00:46:23,014
Yeah.
1053
00:46:23,048 --> 00:46:25,550
Yeah, I am. Yeah.
1054
00:46:25,583 --> 00:46:26,384
What's so funny about that?
1055
00:46:26,417 --> 00:46:29,254
I see nothing funny
in that question.
1056
00:46:29,287 --> 00:46:30,355
Nothing.
I'm sorry.
1057
00:46:30,388 --> 00:46:31,823
Like, I'm wrecked,
you know?
1058
00:46:31,857 --> 00:46:34,425
Man, I can't hitch
on these freeways
1059
00:46:34,459 --> 00:46:36,527
unless I'm just
completely wrecked.
1060
00:46:36,561 --> 00:46:38,029
You know
what I mean, man.
1061
00:46:38,063 --> 00:46:38,830
Sure.
1062
00:46:38,864 --> 00:46:40,866
A lot of these weirdoes
pick you up.
1063
00:46:40,899 --> 00:46:42,000
And vicey-versy.
1064
00:46:42,033 --> 00:46:44,302
[Chuckles]
Yeah.
1065
00:46:47,873 --> 00:46:50,541
So what do you guys got
in the bag here, huh?
1066
00:46:50,575 --> 00:46:52,410
Money?
1067
00:46:57,215 --> 00:46:59,050
You're brilliant.
You know that?
1068
00:46:59,084 --> 00:47:03,521
Hitchhiker:
Hey, you guys cool?
1069
00:47:04,055 --> 00:47:07,092
Relatively.
1070
00:47:07,125 --> 00:47:09,861
[Snorting]
1071
00:47:12,030 --> 00:47:14,232
* drivin' on cocaine
1072
00:47:14,265 --> 00:47:17,535
* it makes the road
go faster *
1073
00:47:17,568 --> 00:47:20,338
* it makes everything
1074
00:47:20,371 --> 00:47:23,041
* seem very, very clear
1075
00:47:23,074 --> 00:47:24,142
hey, you guys
want to pull over
1076
00:47:24,175 --> 00:47:25,877
to the side
of the road somewhere
1077
00:47:25,911 --> 00:47:27,645
and do a little cocaine?
1078
00:47:27,678 --> 00:47:28,947
I don't think so.
1079
00:47:28,980 --> 00:47:30,882
Eugene, would you like
to snort some coke
1080
00:47:30,916 --> 00:47:32,951
by the side
of the road?
1081
00:47:32,984 --> 00:47:33,985
Eugene?
1082
00:47:34,019 --> 00:47:37,422
I'm fine for now, thanks.
1083
00:47:40,158 --> 00:47:41,960
Yep.
1084
00:47:41,993 --> 00:47:44,195
I'm goin' down
to the super bowl.
1085
00:47:44,229 --> 00:47:45,130
I'm gonna sell cocaine.
1086
00:47:45,163 --> 00:47:47,966
Workin' my way through
college sellin' dope.
1087
00:47:47,999 --> 00:47:50,168
That's very
industrious.
1088
00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:53,004
Shut up and slow down.
1089
00:47:53,038 --> 00:47:54,105
Wow.
1090
00:47:54,139 --> 00:47:54,839
Man, I love--
1091
00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:56,407
I-I love these
green signs, man.
1092
00:47:56,441 --> 00:47:57,608
You can be anyplace.
1093
00:47:57,642 --> 00:48:01,046
Oregon, Illinois,
Michigan,
1094
00:48:01,079 --> 00:48:04,950
new Mexico, New Jersey,
New York--
1095
00:48:04,983 --> 00:48:07,685
yes, yes, yes. We get
the idea. Anywhere.
1096
00:48:07,718 --> 00:48:12,057
New Amsterdam, new england,
New Delhi.
1097
00:48:12,090 --> 00:48:13,291
New Orleans.
1098
00:48:13,324 --> 00:48:16,094
You're certainly
in a nasty humor.
1099
00:48:16,127 --> 00:48:18,964
Shut up and slow down.
1100
00:48:24,435 --> 00:48:26,637
Woman over P.A.:
Paging Mr. Samuels.
1101
00:48:26,671 --> 00:48:27,638
Paging Mr. David Samuels.
1102
00:48:27,672 --> 00:48:31,242
Could you please pick up
a purple courtesy phone?
1103
00:48:31,276 --> 00:48:33,044
[Singing, indistinct]
1104
00:48:33,078 --> 00:48:34,512
Man:
Pretty, huh?
1105
00:48:34,545 --> 00:48:35,613
She's gorgeous.
1106
00:48:35,646 --> 00:48:37,048
Yeah. I'm her manager.
1107
00:48:37,082 --> 00:48:38,549
What kind
of manager?
1108
00:48:38,583 --> 00:48:40,518
Personal manager.
Oh, yeah?
1109
00:48:40,551 --> 00:48:43,154
You wanna get lucky?
1110
00:48:43,188 --> 00:48:45,056
Yeah.
1111
00:48:45,090 --> 00:48:46,157
Just wait here.
1112
00:48:46,191 --> 00:48:48,159
Woman on P.A.:
Paging Mr. David Samuels.
1113
00:48:48,193 --> 00:48:51,462
Could you please pick up
a courtesy phone?
1114
00:48:51,496 --> 00:48:52,230
Come on, guys!
1115
00:48:52,263 --> 00:48:54,232
We're all goin' up
to Wally s room!
1116
00:48:54,265 --> 00:48:56,167
What room's he in?
1117
00:48:56,201 --> 00:48:57,102
307!
1118
00:48:57,135 --> 00:48:59,637
I have a reservation.
I have a reservation.
1119
00:48:59,670 --> 00:49:02,040
Ma'am, our computer
shows no record of that.
1120
00:49:02,073 --> 00:49:04,675
And we are booked up,
so we have no room for you.
1121
00:49:04,709 --> 00:49:06,011
I am sorry.
1122
00:49:06,044 --> 00:49:06,777
You have no room for US?
1123
00:49:06,811 --> 00:49:08,246
I cannot believe
this is happening!
1124
00:49:08,279 --> 00:49:10,081
I cannot believe
this is happening to US.
1125
00:49:10,115 --> 00:49:11,682
Well, it happened
to Joseph and Mary,
1126
00:49:11,716 --> 00:49:13,418
and that
turned out ok.
1127
00:49:13,451 --> 00:49:15,486
Wait, wait.
What is your last name?
1128
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:17,355
I have no last name.
1129
00:49:17,388 --> 00:49:20,258
Just for the computer,
what is your last name?
1130
00:49:20,291 --> 00:49:21,692
Christ.
1131
00:49:21,726 --> 00:49:22,693
Excuse me?
1132
00:49:22,727 --> 00:49:23,628
Well, technically,
1133
00:49:23,661 --> 00:49:26,064
since we're all brides
of Christ, our last--
1134
00:49:26,097 --> 00:49:27,398
sorry.
1135
00:49:27,432 --> 00:49:29,400
Well, I have a Claire,
a Clinton,
1136
00:49:29,434 --> 00:49:30,268
a clarise--
1137
00:49:30,301 --> 00:49:32,070
oh, that's me.
That's me. Sister clarise.
1138
00:49:32,103 --> 00:49:34,705
Well, ma'am, it simply says
"m. Clarise."
1139
00:49:34,739 --> 00:49:36,474
It does not say
"sister clarise."
1140
00:49:36,507 --> 00:49:38,209
Yes, well, that's me.
1141
00:49:38,243 --> 00:49:39,177
[Sighs]
1142
00:49:39,210 --> 00:49:41,279
Do you have
a driver's license?
1143
00:49:41,312 --> 00:49:43,281
She doesn't drive.
1144
00:49:43,314 --> 00:49:45,016
We've had
a lot of people
1145
00:49:45,050 --> 00:49:46,351
stealin'
television sets, ladies,
1146
00:49:46,384 --> 00:49:48,119
so we're crackin' down
security-wise.
1147
00:49:48,153 --> 00:49:50,121
Do you have
a major credit card?
1148
00:49:50,155 --> 00:49:51,489
We are nuns!
1149
00:49:51,522 --> 00:49:53,591
Look, honey,
I don't care what you are.
1150
00:49:53,624 --> 00:49:55,626
I have a corporation
breathing down my back.
1151
00:49:55,660 --> 00:49:57,328
We don't have
credit cards.
1152
00:49:57,362 --> 00:49:59,530
We'll pay in cash.
1153
00:49:59,564 --> 00:50:02,067
[Sighs]
That causes a lot
1154
00:50:02,100 --> 00:50:04,269
of problems for me,
but all right.
1155
00:50:04,302 --> 00:50:07,405
All right.
You'll be in room 219.
1156
00:50:07,438 --> 00:50:09,140
That's in
the purple cluster.
1157
00:50:09,174 --> 00:50:10,575
Here's your computer cards.
1158
00:50:10,608 --> 00:50:12,343
You'll use these
instead of keys.
1159
00:50:12,377 --> 00:50:13,511
Kevin!
1160
00:50:13,544 --> 00:50:15,813
Kevin will show you
to the purple cluster.
1161
00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:17,648
Have a nice day.
1162
00:50:17,682 --> 00:50:18,783
Hi, I'm Kevin.
1163
00:50:18,816 --> 00:50:21,119
I'll be showin' you
to your room.
1164
00:50:21,152 --> 00:50:24,222
God bless you.
1165
00:50:26,591 --> 00:50:29,327
[Disco music playing]
1166
00:50:36,201 --> 00:50:38,136
* always losin' my money
1167
00:50:38,169 --> 00:50:40,638
* I suppose
you'll think-- *
1168
00:50:40,671 --> 00:50:42,373
sister Clarice:
Sister!
1169
00:50:42,407 --> 00:50:44,409
Uh, coming, sister.
1170
00:50:46,277 --> 00:50:51,216
Are you ready, girls?
Let's run for it.
1171
00:50:51,582 --> 00:50:54,252
[Thunder rumbling]
1172
00:50:57,455 --> 00:51:00,358
Is this the only way
to get there?
1173
00:51:00,391 --> 00:51:02,593
Yes, ma'am.
1174
00:52:53,904 --> 00:52:56,707
Kirby: Listen, I'm tellin' ya,
they're gonna come back.
1175
00:52:56,741 --> 00:52:58,943
They're gonna get off
down there at the next exit
1176
00:52:58,976 --> 00:53:00,878
and they're gonna come
all the way back to here.
1177
00:53:00,911 --> 00:53:02,513
Kirby, if these signs
are illegal--
1178
00:53:02,547 --> 00:53:03,348
it doesn't matter.
1179
00:53:03,381 --> 00:53:05,950
This'll be a beautiful day
for ticlaw.
1180
00:53:05,983 --> 00:53:08,353
Oh, look, they're
slowin' down.
1181
00:53:08,386 --> 00:53:09,119
Look!
1182
00:53:09,153 --> 00:53:10,988
I think the signs
are gonna work.
1183
00:53:11,021 --> 00:53:14,492
* ticlaw
1184
00:53:14,525 --> 00:53:19,330
* ticlaw
1185
00:53:19,764 --> 00:53:22,633
Duane:
Oh, Carmen.
1186
00:53:23,368 --> 00:53:27,672
All my life, I've been waiting
for someone like you.
1187
00:53:32,343 --> 00:53:33,744
I'm overweight.
1188
00:53:33,778 --> 00:53:37,315
Mmm. I don't care.
1189
00:53:54,365 --> 00:53:55,700
Did you know
that Jupiter
1190
00:53:55,733 --> 00:53:58,869
is the largest planet
in our solar system?
1191
00:53:58,903 --> 00:54:01,272
Look.
1192
00:54:02,039 --> 00:54:03,408
I always sit
in this booth.
1193
00:54:03,441 --> 00:54:07,345
It's the same no matter
what state you're in
1194
00:54:07,378 --> 00:54:08,279
or what city.
1195
00:54:08,313 --> 00:54:11,282
This booth
remains the same.
1196
00:54:11,316 --> 00:54:13,451
The international house
of pancakes
1197
00:54:13,484 --> 00:54:16,987
is the one consistent
thing in my life.
1198
00:54:19,490 --> 00:54:21,326
Man: Try 2375.
1199
00:54:21,359 --> 00:54:23,328
Second man:
Son of a bitch.
1200
00:54:23,361 --> 00:54:24,161
Try 9164.
1201
00:54:24,194 --> 00:54:26,664
Stupid technology!
I don't believe it!
1202
00:54:26,697 --> 00:54:28,966
Here, here,
let me try.
1203
00:54:30,701 --> 00:54:33,304
[Lock clicks]
1204
00:54:33,838 --> 00:54:36,441
At least we got
the trunk.
1205
00:54:39,844 --> 00:54:42,480
Mmm. Yeah.
Let's take the Chevy.
1206
00:54:42,513 --> 00:54:44,882
All right.
1207
00:54:53,824 --> 00:54:56,394
Carmen,
I'll go with you.
1208
00:54:56,427 --> 00:54:57,428
I'll help you spread
your mother
1209
00:54:57,462 --> 00:54:59,397
around Miami beach.
How's that?
1210
00:54:59,430 --> 00:55:02,800
Oh, I don't know,
Duane.
1211
00:55:03,401 --> 00:55:05,002
See, that's what
I mean about my mama.
1212
00:55:05,035 --> 00:55:07,104
She just loved messin' up
everybody's life.
1213
00:55:07,137 --> 00:55:09,940
Now if I sprinkle her
around down there on that beach,
1214
00:55:09,974 --> 00:55:11,442
a big wind'll come up
1215
00:55:11,476 --> 00:55:13,478
and blow her
all over those people.
1216
00:55:13,511 --> 00:55:14,679
You know they got
suntan oil on them,
1217
00:55:14,712 --> 00:55:16,614
and they gotta wash
my mama off of 'em.
1218
00:55:16,647 --> 00:55:19,517
Someone they never
even knew. See?
1219
00:55:19,550 --> 00:55:23,120
She'll be affecting them,
and they ll never even know.
1220
00:55:23,153 --> 00:55:24,489
Waitress: Strawberry--
1221
00:55:24,522 --> 00:55:26,857
I love you.
1222
00:55:26,891 --> 00:55:28,659
Oh, Duane.
1223
00:55:28,693 --> 00:55:32,797
You don't even
know me.
1224
00:55:34,832 --> 00:55:39,437
I've slept with
over 300 men.
1225
00:55:39,470 --> 00:55:41,372
Everyone has
their faults.
1226
00:55:41,406 --> 00:55:44,742
300 men
in paducah, Kentucky?
1227
00:55:44,775 --> 00:55:48,446
Duane, it wasn't easy.
1228
00:55:48,479 --> 00:55:50,581
It's an accomplishment.
1229
00:55:50,615 --> 00:55:51,649
No, Duane.
1230
00:55:51,682 --> 00:55:56,621
It's a problem.
It's a real problem.
1231
00:55:57,154 --> 00:56:00,458
I'm like Ricky,
the carnivorous pony
1232
00:56:00,491 --> 00:56:02,627
in respect to men.
1233
00:56:07,798 --> 00:56:09,066
I love you,
1234
00:56:09,099 --> 00:56:12,570
I need you, and I want
to make you happy.
1235
00:56:12,603 --> 00:56:15,406
That's all.
1236
00:56:16,441 --> 00:56:18,676
Oh. I don't know
if that's what
1237
00:56:18,709 --> 00:56:21,446
I really want
out of life.
1238
00:56:54,912 --> 00:56:55,813
Woman: Oh, boy, Eddie,
1239
00:56:55,846 --> 00:56:58,516
you really picked a winner
for me last night.
1240
00:56:58,549 --> 00:56:59,450
Man: Why? What?
1241
00:56:59,484 --> 00:57:00,184
You really did.
1242
00:57:00,217 --> 00:57:01,285
This guy gets me
into his room
1243
00:57:01,318 --> 00:57:03,921
and opens up his briefcase
and pulls out a dog collar.
1244
00:57:03,954 --> 00:57:05,155
I knew I was in trouble.
1245
00:57:05,189 --> 00:57:07,658
I mean, then he has me
sitting in the corner
1246
00:57:07,692 --> 00:57:09,159
on a newspaper, barking.
1247
00:57:09,193 --> 00:57:10,260
And then he goes
over to the sofa
1248
00:57:10,294 --> 00:57:12,530
and he slaps his thigh twice,
and he goes--[Whistles]
1249
00:57:12,563 --> 00:57:13,831
I can't believe
you took mastercharge.
1250
00:57:13,864 --> 00:57:15,232
I don't know how
I'm gonna collect that.
1251
00:57:15,265 --> 00:57:17,167
So then I go over
to the sofa and I sit down,
1252
00:57:17,201 --> 00:57:18,569
and he slaps me
across the face,
1253
00:57:18,603 --> 00:57:20,070
and he knocks me down
on the floor,
1254
00:57:20,104 --> 00:57:21,205
and he goes,
"bad dog.
1255
00:57:21,238 --> 00:57:22,006
"You know
you're not supposed
1256
00:57:22,039 --> 00:57:24,074
to be up on the sofa,
you bad dog."
1257
00:57:24,108 --> 00:57:26,010
It's not funny, Eddie.
1258
00:57:26,043 --> 00:57:26,977
Ok.
1259
00:57:27,011 --> 00:57:29,547
I was ready to call
the a.S.P.C.A. On the guy.
1260
00:57:29,580 --> 00:57:31,982
I'm not doing the doggie bit
ever again.
1261
00:57:32,016 --> 00:57:32,850
Now, come on.
1262
00:57:32,883 --> 00:57:35,052
It's a lot better than
that-that Nazi bit
1263
00:57:35,085 --> 00:57:36,487
you did in Vegas.
1264
00:57:36,521 --> 00:57:38,589
So what's
a little barking?
1265
00:57:38,623 --> 00:57:40,958
You know, I could've
taken along
1266
00:57:40,991 --> 00:57:41,826
any of the other girls.
1267
00:57:41,859 --> 00:57:43,994
And they're a lot less
trouble than you.
1268
00:57:44,028 --> 00:57:44,862
But who did I take?
1269
00:57:44,895 --> 00:57:45,796
I took you, because
I want you with me.
1270
00:57:45,830 --> 00:57:47,932
You weren't even in the room
when I got back.
1271
00:57:47,965 --> 00:57:50,601
I'm right here.
1272
00:57:51,101 --> 00:57:53,103
I'm not doing this
anymore, Eddie.
1273
00:57:53,137 --> 00:57:54,539
No, you're gonna do
what I tell you,
1274
00:57:54,572 --> 00:57:56,541
or you're gonna end up
back in that supermarket
1275
00:57:56,574 --> 00:57:58,676
where I found you.
1276
00:57:59,677 --> 00:58:00,778
What's this?
1277
00:58:00,811 --> 00:58:03,480
Don't you have
anything smaller?
1278
00:58:04,248 --> 00:58:07,652
Hey! Hey! Hey!
1279
00:58:09,319 --> 00:58:13,223
[Honking]
1280
00:58:25,035 --> 00:58:29,574
* diamond trinkets
that you buy me *
1281
00:58:29,607 --> 00:58:34,244
* will not ever
satisfy me *
1282
00:58:34,278 --> 00:58:36,614
* long, black limos
1283
00:58:36,647 --> 00:58:43,654
* don't impress me at all
1284
00:58:44,088 --> 00:58:45,322
* diamond trinkets...
1285
00:58:45,355 --> 00:58:47,558
This'll only take a minute.
1286
00:58:47,592 --> 00:58:48,826
You got 5 shirts
already.
1287
00:58:48,859 --> 00:58:52,196
* crying while
the champagne's flowing *
1288
00:58:52,229 --> 00:58:55,132
* seems happiness
is the one thing... *
1289
00:58:55,165 --> 00:58:56,901
[women chattering]
1290
00:58:56,934 --> 00:59:02,272
* we can afford
1291
00:59:02,306 --> 00:59:03,140
they're both very nice,
1292
00:59:03,173 --> 00:59:05,342
but I'm not sure.
I'll come back later.
1293
00:59:05,375 --> 00:59:06,777
Oh. Mm-hmm.
1294
00:59:06,811 --> 00:59:07,745
Thank you.
1295
00:59:07,778 --> 00:59:11,716
* dad would have died
if he'd have seen US *
1296
00:59:11,749 --> 00:59:13,217
* just one room
1297
00:59:13,250 --> 00:59:17,622
* with a creaky
wooden floor *
1298
00:59:17,655 --> 00:59:20,224
can I help you?
1299
00:59:21,225 --> 00:59:23,360
* I used to save
dimes in a jar *
1300
00:59:23,393 --> 00:59:24,962
uh, just looking.
1301
00:59:24,995 --> 00:59:29,700
* I used to sing
and play guitar *
1302
00:59:29,734 --> 00:59:31,902
honest.
1303
00:59:31,936 --> 00:59:38,042
* ...We're leaving
any more *
1304
00:59:39,176 --> 00:59:41,812
* diamond trinkets
1305
00:59:41,846 --> 00:59:43,313
* are part of growing
1306
00:59:43,347 --> 00:59:48,385
* you're crying while
the champagne's flowing *
1307
00:59:48,418 --> 00:59:50,187
* seems happiness
is the one thing *
1308
00:59:50,220 --> 00:59:52,623
[inhaling deeply]
1309
00:59:52,657 --> 00:59:57,094
* we can afford
1310
00:59:57,728 --> 00:59:59,129
* when love was all--
1311
00:59:59,163 --> 01:00:01,699
how does this look?
1312
01:00:04,434 --> 01:00:05,736
Could I help you?
1313
01:00:05,770 --> 01:00:06,637
Eugene:
Beautiful.
1314
01:00:06,671 --> 01:00:08,773
Does it make
my ass look big?
1315
01:00:08,806 --> 01:00:10,841
No, your ass
looks fine.
1316
01:00:10,875 --> 01:00:13,711
[Song continues]
1317
01:00:16,180 --> 01:00:20,918
* oh, nights like this
a gal sure misses *
1318
01:00:20,951 --> 01:00:23,721
* hot dogs and mustard
1319
01:00:23,754 --> 01:00:26,090
* flavored kisses
1320
01:00:26,123 --> 01:00:29,059
* I'm not sure I need
1321
01:00:29,093 --> 01:00:31,996
* a sparkling stone
1322
01:00:32,029 --> 01:00:35,199
* cause I'm talkin' about
1323
01:00:35,232 --> 01:00:39,737
* diamond trinkets
that you buy me *
1324
01:00:39,770 --> 01:00:43,774
* will not ever
satisfy me *
1325
01:00:43,808 --> 01:00:45,876
hey, howdy, Kirby.
Nice going.
1326
01:00:45,910 --> 01:00:47,712
All right!
1327
01:00:48,713 --> 01:00:51,782
Attaboy, Kirby.
Attaboy.
1328
01:00:52,750 --> 01:00:55,953
Kirby: What do you say,
benjy, boy?
1329
01:01:00,024 --> 01:01:02,993
Hey, Emmett, look!
A pink town!
1330
01:01:03,027 --> 01:01:05,763
Keep it movin'.
[Blows whistle]
1331
01:01:05,796 --> 01:01:07,732
Free gas
on your left.
1332
01:01:07,765 --> 01:01:10,768
Ticlaw inn and safari park
straight ahead.
1333
01:01:10,801 --> 01:01:12,269
Now keep it
moving there, lady.
1334
01:01:12,302 --> 01:01:13,337
Oh, my god.
[Groans]
1335
01:01:13,370 --> 01:01:17,708
Free gas. Plenty of free gas
right here on your left.
1336
01:01:17,742 --> 01:01:21,812
Thank you. Keep moving.
Free gas on your left.
1337
01:01:21,846 --> 01:01:24,448
[Continues, indistinct]
1338
01:01:24,481 --> 01:01:27,484
Free restaurants.
Free parking and gasoline.
1339
01:01:27,517 --> 01:01:29,920
Come and get
your free gasoline.
1340
01:01:29,954 --> 01:01:32,890
Jesus.
We gotta stop that.
1341
01:01:33,223 --> 01:01:36,093
This time
it's gonna work.
1342
01:01:36,126 --> 01:01:38,095
I don't think
she likes this.
1343
01:01:38,128 --> 01:01:39,797
Don't worry.
1344
01:01:39,830 --> 01:01:41,465
Ladies and gentlemen,
1345
01:01:41,498 --> 01:01:43,200
you are about
to see a first.
1346
01:01:43,233 --> 01:01:45,402
Kirby! Kirby!
1347
01:01:45,435 --> 01:01:47,504
Mr. Kirk, you got here
just in time.
1348
01:01:47,537 --> 01:01:49,273
You can have a chorus line
of water-skiing elephants,
1349
01:01:49,306 --> 01:01:52,209
but you can't take the law
into your own hands.
1350
01:01:52,242 --> 01:01:53,043
Now?
In just a sec.
1351
01:01:53,077 --> 01:01:55,479
Those billboards
have got to come down.
1352
01:01:55,512 --> 01:01:56,280
They're illegal.
1353
01:01:56,313 --> 01:01:57,748
The oil companies
won't tolerate you
1354
01:01:57,782 --> 01:01:58,582
giving away
free gasoline.
1355
01:01:58,615 --> 01:02:00,384
Well, you can stick
the oil companies
1356
01:02:00,417 --> 01:02:02,820
where the sun don't shine.
1357
01:02:02,853 --> 01:02:04,054
[Cheering]
1358
01:02:04,088 --> 01:02:06,791
You'll pay for this.
1359
01:02:06,824 --> 01:02:07,958
We already have.
1360
01:02:07,992 --> 01:02:10,294
And I think
you can go now.
1361
01:02:10,327 --> 01:02:13,063
Go! Now!
1362
01:02:15,933 --> 01:02:17,868
[Applause]
1363
01:02:21,505 --> 01:02:24,308
[All gasp]
1364
01:02:26,844 --> 01:02:29,213
[Trumpeting]
1365
01:03:00,144 --> 01:03:01,946
Kirby: Damn!
1366
01:03:01,979 --> 01:03:03,247
Damn!
1367
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:05,482
[Car horn honking]
1368
01:03:05,515 --> 01:03:07,584
Kirby, you're gonna
be killed!
1369
01:03:07,617 --> 01:03:09,186
What's the matter
with you?
1370
01:03:09,219 --> 01:03:09,854
This thing!
1371
01:03:09,887 --> 01:03:12,389
This thing
is gonna drive US
1372
01:03:12,422 --> 01:03:14,091
off the face
of the earth.
1373
01:03:14,124 --> 01:03:16,226
Honey,
we'll figure a way.
1374
01:03:16,260 --> 01:03:17,895
We always have!
1375
01:03:17,928 --> 01:03:18,795
I must be crazy
1376
01:03:18,829 --> 01:03:21,465
to have pinned our future
on a pink town,
1377
01:03:21,498 --> 01:03:25,169
a half-assed safari park
and a damn bitch elephant
1378
01:03:25,202 --> 01:03:27,537
who can't even water ski.
1379
01:03:27,571 --> 01:03:28,538
What you are is drunk
1380
01:03:28,572 --> 01:03:31,208
and about to be splattered
all over the freeway.
1381
01:03:31,241 --> 01:03:32,977
Now, come on.
1382
01:03:33,010 --> 01:03:35,345
[Coughing]
1383
01:03:37,081 --> 01:03:42,219
If she'd get up
just once, they'd come.
1384
01:03:42,252 --> 01:03:46,356
Hell, I would.
I'm dying of curiosity.
1385
01:03:46,390 --> 01:03:48,025
Oh, honey.
1386
01:03:48,058 --> 01:03:51,061
You'll do it.
1387
01:03:51,095 --> 01:03:53,330
You'll do it.
1388
01:03:53,363 --> 01:03:57,001
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
1389
01:03:57,034 --> 01:03:58,202
* everybody's
going faster-- *
1390
01:03:58,235 --> 01:04:00,637
who gets the hamburgers,
who gets the fries?
1391
01:04:00,670 --> 01:04:05,009
The lion gets the burgers,
the rhino gets the fries.
1392
01:04:05,042 --> 01:04:07,978
This'll only take
a minute.
1393
01:04:08,012 --> 01:04:11,281
Hey, I'm in no hurry.
1394
01:04:12,382 --> 01:04:13,951
They'll eat this stuff?
1395
01:04:13,984 --> 01:04:16,120
They ain't got much
of a choice, do they?
1396
01:04:16,153 --> 01:04:19,623
Hey! Whoa!
Wh-whoa!
1397
01:04:20,190 --> 01:04:22,059
[Shouting, screaming]
1398
01:04:22,092 --> 01:04:24,929
[Animals growling, snarling]
1399
01:04:41,711 --> 01:04:43,080
Do I look ok?
1400
01:04:43,113 --> 01:04:44,181
You look fine.
1401
01:04:44,214 --> 01:04:45,916
Does my ass look big?
1402
01:04:45,950 --> 01:04:48,085
Your ass
looks small.
1403
01:04:48,452 --> 01:04:49,686
Do I smell good?
1404
01:04:49,719 --> 01:04:51,956
You smell fine.
What is it with you?
1405
01:04:51,989 --> 01:04:54,324
These are hookers,
not debutantes.
1406
01:04:54,358 --> 01:04:56,693
Hey, could I ask
one thing?
1407
01:04:56,726 --> 01:04:58,395
Could we both try to
finish our endeavors
1408
01:04:58,428 --> 01:04:59,529
at roughly
the same time?
1409
01:04:59,563 --> 01:05:00,998
So I don't have
to wait around
1410
01:05:01,031 --> 01:05:02,166
like last time, huh?
1411
01:05:02,199 --> 01:05:03,067
Absolutely.
1412
01:05:03,100 --> 01:05:05,235
I just don't want to be
kept waiting, ok?
1413
01:05:07,271 --> 01:05:10,074
[Sneezes]
1414
01:05:10,107 --> 01:05:12,076
Woman on TV: While
your pig is marinating,
1415
01:05:12,109 --> 01:05:14,411
prepare a glorious stuffing,
1416
01:05:14,444 --> 01:05:18,082
using one fresh,
diced pineapple,
1417
01:05:18,115 --> 01:05:20,684
one ounce guava paste,
1418
01:05:20,717 --> 01:05:24,088
one pound of chopped
macadamia nuts,
1419
01:05:24,121 --> 01:05:26,356
3 large onions, chopped,
1420
01:05:26,390 --> 01:05:28,625
one pound of diced ham,
1421
01:05:28,658 --> 01:05:30,694
3 ounces coconut cream--
1422
01:05:30,727 --> 01:05:32,062
[women snickering]
1423
01:05:32,096 --> 01:05:33,964
And 20 kumquats.
1424
01:05:33,998 --> 01:05:35,966
Mix all of these
ingredients together
1425
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:40,070
in a large mixing bowl,
and reserve.
1426
01:05:48,012 --> 01:05:51,181
Hi! I'm sorry
about last night.
1427
01:05:51,215 --> 01:05:53,250
It'll never
happen again.
1428
01:05:53,283 --> 01:05:55,319
I promise.
Please forgive me.
1429
01:05:55,352 --> 01:05:57,754
You kept me waiting
all night long.
1430
01:05:57,787 --> 01:05:58,555
I'm sorry.
1431
01:05:58,588 --> 01:06:01,258
I'm sorry. Please,
please forgive me.
1432
01:06:01,291 --> 01:06:02,292
Pretty please.
1433
01:06:02,326 --> 01:06:04,194
All right.
You're forgiven.
1434
01:06:04,228 --> 01:06:05,062
Ok.
1435
01:06:05,095 --> 01:06:08,432
Just let me tell you
about the last one.
1436
01:06:08,465 --> 01:06:09,066
Ohh.
1437
01:06:09,099 --> 01:06:10,167
The last one
was the best.
1438
01:06:10,200 --> 01:06:10,900
Look, it's not that
1439
01:06:10,934 --> 01:06:12,302
I have anything
against hookers.
1440
01:06:12,336 --> 01:06:14,438
I just like a nice,
clean virgin,
1441
01:06:14,471 --> 01:06:16,406
that's all.
1442
01:06:17,741 --> 01:06:22,112
Clarise: Will you hurry?
What are you doing in there?
1443
01:06:22,146 --> 01:06:23,113
[Knocking on door]
1444
01:06:23,147 --> 01:06:24,081
Coming, sister.
1445
01:06:24,114 --> 01:06:25,649
Are you all right?
1446
01:06:25,682 --> 01:06:27,084
Yes, sister.
1447
01:06:27,117 --> 01:06:28,752
Man on radio:
So don't miss it.
1448
01:06:28,785 --> 01:06:30,720
Visit Eli's hardware
this week only.
1449
01:06:30,754 --> 01:06:34,191
Super sale of super
power tools at Eli's.
1450
01:06:34,224 --> 01:06:35,159
And when you go in,
1451
01:06:35,192 --> 01:06:37,494
be sure and tell them
Toby neumeier sent you.
1452
01:06:37,527 --> 01:06:39,063
Speaking of bargains,
1453
01:06:39,096 --> 01:06:41,798
ferns on the highway,
Carlyle's favorite eatery,
1454
01:06:41,831 --> 01:06:45,069
offers egg dishes cooked
the way you like 'em.
1455
01:06:52,576 --> 01:06:54,044
[Knocking on door]
1456
01:06:54,078 --> 01:06:56,780
Sister, are you
all right in there?
1457
01:06:56,813 --> 01:06:58,648
Yes, sister.
1458
01:06:58,682 --> 01:07:01,151
Well, hurry up, then.
1459
01:07:04,754 --> 01:07:06,190
All ready.
1460
01:07:06,223 --> 01:07:07,291
I'm going to have to tell
1461
01:07:07,324 --> 01:07:08,825
the new mother superior
about you.
1462
01:07:08,858 --> 01:07:12,062
I'm tired
of your nonsense.
1463
01:07:17,134 --> 01:07:18,635
Where's the car?
1464
01:07:18,668 --> 01:07:20,770
It's right--
1465
01:07:22,806 --> 01:07:25,209
well, where?
1466
01:07:25,242 --> 01:07:26,176
Shit.
1467
01:07:26,210 --> 01:07:29,246
It appears, sister,
that you've lost our car.
1468
01:07:29,279 --> 01:07:32,216
I didn't lose the car.
I put it right there.
1469
01:07:32,249 --> 01:07:34,151
You put our luggage
right there.
1470
01:07:34,184 --> 01:07:35,752
Did you leave
the keys in the car?
1471
01:07:35,785 --> 01:07:37,821
Uh, no.
They're here somewhere.
1472
01:07:37,854 --> 01:07:39,623
Oh, this damn robe.
1473
01:07:39,656 --> 01:07:41,158
What did you say?
1474
01:07:41,191 --> 01:07:42,058
Oh, uh, my vestments.
1475
01:07:42,092 --> 01:07:44,261
I haven't gotten used
to my vestments yet.
1476
01:07:44,294 --> 01:07:45,061
It's habits, habits.
1477
01:07:45,095 --> 01:07:46,730
How many times
do I have to tell you?
1478
01:07:46,763 --> 01:07:48,198
You really are hopeless.
1479
01:07:48,232 --> 01:07:49,566
Will you pick up
your suitcase?
1480
01:07:49,599 --> 01:07:51,168
We're going to walk.
1481
01:07:51,201 --> 01:07:52,136
Walk?
Yes.
1482
01:07:52,169 --> 01:07:54,104
To Miami beach?
Yes.
1483
01:07:54,138 --> 01:07:57,407
Maybe we'll get a ride.
1484
01:07:57,441 --> 01:07:58,242
Kirby: God said,
1485
01:07:58,275 --> 01:07:59,209
"I will provide
for you in abundance."
1486
01:07:59,243 --> 01:08:02,212
Well, we need an exit,
and I'm here to tell you
1487
01:08:02,246 --> 01:08:05,582
that everything is possible
for the righteous.
1488
01:08:05,615 --> 01:08:06,583
Hallelujah.
1489
01:08:06,616 --> 01:08:08,485
Hallelujah.
1490
01:08:08,518 --> 01:08:09,419
The israelites--
1491
01:08:09,453 --> 01:08:10,320
they had their backs up
against the red sea
1492
01:08:10,354 --> 01:08:13,323
with the Egyptians coming
directly at 'em.
1493
01:08:13,357 --> 01:08:16,260
Did they give up?
No, they had faith in god.
1494
01:08:16,293 --> 01:08:17,561
And he parted the red sea,
1495
01:08:17,594 --> 01:08:19,463
and the israelites
had their exit.
1496
01:08:19,496 --> 01:08:24,401
And we're gonna get ours,
no matter what we have to do.
1497
01:08:24,434 --> 01:08:25,302
[Cheering]
1498
01:08:25,335 --> 01:08:26,903
And we're gonna have
people here. We will.
1499
01:08:26,936 --> 01:08:29,739
When we get 'em here,
what are we gonna show 'em?
1500
01:08:29,773 --> 01:08:33,143
We're gonna show 'em
a real good time.
1501
01:08:33,177 --> 01:08:33,977
Now, let me hear you say it.
1502
01:08:34,010 --> 01:08:37,447
We're gonna show 'em
a real good time.
1503
01:08:37,481 --> 01:08:40,284
A real good time!
1504
01:08:40,317 --> 01:08:42,486
A real good time!
1505
01:08:42,519 --> 01:08:45,655
A real good time!
1506
01:08:53,197 --> 01:08:55,165
* the highway
stretches out *
1507
01:08:55,199 --> 01:08:57,901
* just like a snake
across the land *
1508
01:08:57,934 --> 01:09:02,206
* it tells a simple story
everyone can understand *
1509
01:09:02,239 --> 01:09:05,309
look at the water!
It's so blue!
1510
01:09:05,342 --> 01:09:06,610
Oh, this is it!
1511
01:09:06,643 --> 01:09:08,712
Mama, mama!
We made it, mama!
1512
01:09:08,745 --> 01:09:12,516
* there's a better
life ahead *
1513
01:09:12,549 --> 01:09:15,285
* and the highway
gypsies follow *
1514
01:09:15,319 --> 01:09:18,555
* every word
the highway says *
1515
01:09:18,588 --> 01:09:20,324
[Carol laughing]
1516
01:09:20,357 --> 01:09:21,958
* the road is like
a river *
1517
01:09:21,991 --> 01:09:23,960
* and it keeps me
movin' on *
1518
01:09:23,993 --> 01:09:25,395
Carol, fasten
your seat belt.
1519
01:09:25,429 --> 01:09:27,331
* just another
nameless driver *
1520
01:09:27,364 --> 01:09:30,934
* in a world
we never thought *
1521
01:09:31,668 --> 01:09:33,803
* drinkin' hot,
black coffee *
1522
01:09:33,837 --> 01:09:37,841
* as my car
drinks gasoline *
1523
01:09:37,874 --> 01:09:40,377
* and headed for tomorrow
1524
01:09:40,410 --> 01:09:44,348
* and somewhere
I've never seen *
1525
01:09:44,781 --> 01:09:47,317
* it's a honky tonk freeway
1526
01:09:47,351 --> 01:09:50,820
* it's paradise on wheels
1527
01:09:50,854 --> 01:09:53,923
* motel rooms,
neon lights *
1528
01:09:53,957 --> 01:09:57,361
* drive-in,
drive-out meals *
1529
01:09:57,394 --> 01:09:59,729
* and it's windin'
cross the country *
1530
01:09:59,763 --> 01:10:04,901
* just as far
as you can see *
1531
01:10:04,934 --> 01:10:08,305
* on the honky tonk
freeway *
1532
01:10:08,338 --> 01:10:13,477
* that's where I wanna be
1533
01:10:13,510 --> 01:10:16,813
[sighs]
Come on.
1534
01:10:18,982 --> 01:10:20,016
[Shouting]
1535
01:10:20,049 --> 01:10:22,519
Hey, sister!
1536
01:10:24,554 --> 01:10:27,824
* it's a honky tonk freeway
1537
01:10:27,857 --> 01:10:31,695
* it's paradise on wheels
1538
01:10:31,728 --> 01:10:34,664
* motel rooms,
neon lights *
1539
01:10:34,698 --> 01:10:37,801
* drive-in,
drive-out meals *
1540
01:10:37,834 --> 01:10:40,970
* and it's windin'
cross the country *
1541
01:10:41,004 --> 01:10:45,309
* just as far
as you can see *
1542
01:10:45,542 --> 01:10:48,278
* on the honky tonk freeway
1543
01:10:48,312 --> 01:10:55,319
* that's where I wanna be
1544
01:11:03,092 --> 01:11:06,296
[People chattering,
music playing]
1545
01:11:18,608 --> 01:11:20,777
"And little Mary
reached out her hand,
1546
01:11:20,810 --> 01:11:22,912
"and Ricky went
whee, whee!
1547
01:11:22,946 --> 01:11:23,913
And kissed--"
1548
01:11:23,947 --> 01:11:27,050
we're building a new
dispensary for our children,
1549
01:11:27,083 --> 01:11:30,053
and what we're asking
everybody to donate is $10.
1550
01:11:30,086 --> 01:11:32,756
Sounds like a good idea.
I could write you a check.
1551
01:11:32,789 --> 01:11:35,392
Oh, that's very
kind of you.
1552
01:11:35,425 --> 01:11:37,994
[Indistinct chattering]
1553
01:11:39,429 --> 01:11:41,465
Hey, you got something
on your nose.
1554
01:11:41,498 --> 01:11:43,400
How much is this?
1555
01:11:49,939 --> 01:11:51,375
Miss?
1556
01:11:51,408 --> 01:11:52,842
That ain't my station.
1557
01:11:52,876 --> 01:11:56,079
Will-will you try
to find some--
1558
01:11:56,112 --> 01:11:59,449
madam. Madam, could--
1559
01:12:17,100 --> 01:12:19,703
It's well done.
1560
01:12:21,938 --> 01:12:25,041
Grace, would you go
back to your station?
1561
01:12:25,074 --> 01:12:26,510
I'm comin'.
1562
01:12:26,543 --> 01:12:28,812
I'm comin'.
1563
01:12:31,147 --> 01:12:33,450
What for you?
1564
01:12:34,484 --> 01:12:36,386
I know what I want.
1565
01:12:36,420 --> 01:12:37,120
What?
1566
01:12:37,153 --> 01:12:40,857
Uh, clams casino
and you, baby.
1567
01:12:40,890 --> 01:12:43,092
Can I take your order?
1568
01:12:43,126 --> 01:12:45,462
Yeah. You can take
my order.
1569
01:12:45,495 --> 01:12:49,132
I'd like to start
with the lobster bisque.
1570
01:12:49,165 --> 01:12:51,067
Eddie: Grace.
1571
01:12:51,100 --> 01:12:53,470
You're kind of lonely,
aren't you?
1572
01:12:53,503 --> 01:12:54,638
Eddie, please.
1573
01:12:54,671 --> 01:12:56,406
Kinda.
1574
01:12:56,440 --> 01:12:57,474
I can cure that.
1575
01:12:57,507 --> 01:13:00,410
Hey, I'm in love
with a guy.
1576
01:13:00,444 --> 01:13:02,446
Oh, well,
of course you are.
1577
01:13:02,479 --> 01:13:03,680
But does he
make you happy?
1578
01:13:03,713 --> 01:13:04,948
Here's my question--
1579
01:13:04,981 --> 01:13:07,451
are you unhappy
in your present job?
1580
01:13:07,484 --> 01:13:09,085
You sound like
a commercial
1581
01:13:09,118 --> 01:13:11,455
on television
at 2:00 A.M.
1582
01:13:11,488 --> 01:13:14,891
You know, she's right,
Eddie. You do, sort of.
1583
01:13:14,924 --> 01:13:15,992
Yes, of course she's right.
1584
01:13:16,025 --> 01:13:18,194
But you see, what I'm selling
they don't offer on TV.
1585
01:13:18,227 --> 01:13:21,164
I'm not talking about
a truck driver's course
1586
01:13:21,197 --> 01:13:24,200
or some sort of slicer-dicer
in the kitchen, grace.
1587
01:13:24,233 --> 01:13:26,503
Oh, yeah? Well, what
are you talking about?
1588
01:13:26,536 --> 01:13:28,137
Grace, what I'm selling--
1589
01:13:28,171 --> 01:13:29,072
and this is
a one-time offer--
1590
01:13:29,105 --> 01:13:31,541
is the opportunity for you
to get out of here
1591
01:13:31,575 --> 01:13:33,577
and make
some real money.
1592
01:13:33,610 --> 01:13:35,545
You ever been
to New York?
1593
01:13:35,579 --> 01:13:36,646
No.
1594
01:13:36,680 --> 01:13:37,814
Think about it, grace.
1595
01:13:37,847 --> 01:13:40,216
When you deliver
that next fishburger,
1596
01:13:40,249 --> 01:13:41,818
ask yourself,
1597
01:13:41,851 --> 01:13:43,620
"is this what I want
out of life?"
1598
01:13:43,653 --> 01:13:45,789
And then consider my offer,
1599
01:13:45,822 --> 01:13:49,793
because this offer
expires with dessert.
1600
01:13:50,226 --> 01:13:56,566
Well, I think I better
get back to my station.
1601
01:13:57,266 --> 01:13:59,636
I'm sitting
up front, Eddie.
1602
01:13:59,669 --> 01:14:02,506
I'm sitting
up front.
1603
01:14:02,539 --> 01:14:05,609
Ok, then.
Who gets the crabs?
1604
01:14:05,642 --> 01:14:08,545
Honey, we all do
sooner or later.
1605
01:14:08,578 --> 01:14:10,647
[Laughter]
1606
01:14:10,680 --> 01:14:12,549
Cheeseburgers.
1607
01:14:12,582 --> 01:14:14,684
All right, we got
a filet of sole here.
1608
01:14:14,718 --> 01:14:17,521
Man: Filet of sole's
across there.
1609
01:14:22,559 --> 01:14:23,727
Hi.
1610
01:14:23,760 --> 01:14:25,094
Well, hi.
1611
01:14:25,128 --> 01:14:28,131
Greetings
and salutations.
1612
01:14:29,032 --> 01:14:31,901
Couldn't help but notice
you looking at me
1613
01:14:31,935 --> 01:14:34,838
from across the room
over there.
1614
01:14:35,539 --> 01:14:38,542
What sign are you?
Libra.
1615
01:14:40,577 --> 01:14:44,714
I was wondering if maybe
you could possibly
1616
01:14:44,748 --> 01:14:46,816
help me out
with a ride,
1617
01:14:46,850 --> 01:14:48,217
perchance.
1618
01:14:48,251 --> 01:14:49,953
Hi.
1619
01:14:49,986 --> 01:14:50,754
Hi.
1620
01:14:50,787 --> 01:14:52,522
Duane: Am I
interrupting something?
1621
01:14:52,556 --> 01:14:53,890
No, no.
1622
01:14:53,923 --> 01:14:55,158
Yeah, I'm spanky.
1623
01:14:55,191 --> 01:15:00,063
Spanky is the name,
and cocaine is the game.
1624
01:15:00,764 --> 01:15:03,032
Have a seat.
1625
01:15:03,700 --> 01:15:05,101
Thank you.
1626
01:15:05,301 --> 01:15:08,638
I was, um,
just talking
1627
01:15:08,672 --> 01:15:11,708
to your pretty
little wife here.
1628
01:15:13,176 --> 01:15:14,711
Who is this guy?
1629
01:15:14,744 --> 01:15:16,112
He's a libra.
1630
01:15:16,145 --> 01:15:17,881
He says he needs
a ride, Duane.
1631
01:15:17,914 --> 01:15:19,783
You didn't offer him one?
1632
01:15:19,816 --> 01:15:20,717
No.
1633
01:15:20,750 --> 01:15:21,885
Is he bothering you?
1634
01:15:21,918 --> 01:15:23,119
No, he's ok.
1635
01:15:23,152 --> 01:15:24,588
He doesn't look
ok to me.
1636
01:15:24,621 --> 01:15:25,989
Hey, what is this?
1637
01:15:26,022 --> 01:15:29,325
Hey, something new?
[Sniffing]
1638
01:15:29,358 --> 01:15:31,227
That's my mother!
1639
01:15:31,260 --> 01:15:33,196
[Coughing]
1640
01:15:33,229 --> 01:15:35,865
You're shitting me.
1641
01:15:40,103 --> 01:15:42,138
I'm sorry.
1642
01:15:44,007 --> 01:15:45,041
Miss!
1643
01:15:45,074 --> 01:15:49,212
You are not the only person
in the world, you know.
1644
01:15:49,245 --> 01:15:52,315
Hey, look
who's here, Eugene.
1645
01:15:52,348 --> 01:15:55,118
Thanks, gene.
Eugene.
1646
01:15:57,386 --> 01:16:00,089
[Speaking Vietnamese]
1647
01:16:00,123 --> 01:16:02,291
I don't know what
this country's coming to
1648
01:16:02,325 --> 01:16:03,292
when they'll steal
a nun's car.
1649
01:16:03,326 --> 01:16:06,162
Well, it's been a very
nerve-racking experience.
1650
01:16:06,195 --> 01:16:07,897
I'm afraid
sister Mary Magdalen
1651
01:16:07,931 --> 01:16:09,733
doesn't drive well.
1652
01:16:09,766 --> 01:16:12,201
I drive fine.
1653
01:16:12,235 --> 01:16:13,737
You look like a penguin.
1654
01:16:13,770 --> 01:16:15,872
I don't look
like a penguin.
1655
01:16:15,905 --> 01:16:17,674
You look like a crow.
1656
01:16:17,707 --> 01:16:18,474
Delia.
1657
01:16:18,507 --> 01:16:19,208
You'll have to forgive
little Delia.
1658
01:16:19,242 --> 01:16:20,610
Well, I don't look
like a penguin
1659
01:16:20,644 --> 01:16:22,111
and I don't
look like a crow.
1660
01:16:22,145 --> 01:16:24,748
You look like
Dracula s sister.
1661
01:16:24,781 --> 01:16:25,581
Delia.
1662
01:16:25,615 --> 01:16:26,482
And you do not
know how to drive a car
1663
01:16:26,515 --> 01:16:29,385
but I don't look like
a penguin or a crow.
1664
01:16:29,418 --> 01:16:33,723
I don't know if I like
being a nun.
1665
01:16:34,958 --> 01:16:37,694
I need to talk to you,
sister.
1666
01:16:37,727 --> 01:16:39,362
I can't.
1667
01:16:44,200 --> 01:16:46,836
Where's the food?
1668
01:16:50,373 --> 01:16:52,676
I don't know what to do.
1669
01:16:52,709 --> 01:16:55,779
I really don't know
what to do.
1670
01:16:55,812 --> 01:16:59,182
I do, baby.
I do, I do.
1671
01:16:59,215 --> 01:17:01,084
Here.
Now, grace, grace.
1672
01:17:01,117 --> 01:17:02,686
You want to come
with US?
1673
01:17:02,719 --> 01:17:03,887
I'm so upset.
1674
01:17:03,920 --> 01:17:05,388
We're going to
Miami beach.
1675
01:17:05,421 --> 01:17:07,423
* I'm sittin'
up front *
1676
01:17:07,456 --> 01:17:08,424
* na na na na na
1677
01:17:08,457 --> 01:17:13,029
* I'm sittin' up front
I'm sittin' up front *
1678
01:17:13,062 --> 01:17:14,931
"once upon a time
in a faraway land,
1679
01:17:14,964 --> 01:17:19,803
"there was this pony,
and his name was Ricky.
1680
01:17:19,836 --> 01:17:20,837
All: "Licky!"
1681
01:17:20,870 --> 01:17:21,738
Mm-hmm.
1682
01:17:21,771 --> 01:17:23,139
[Translating]
1683
01:17:23,172 --> 01:17:25,008
"He was the most
beautiful pony,
1684
01:17:25,041 --> 01:17:27,043
"but none of the children
could ride him
1685
01:17:27,076 --> 01:17:30,079
"no matter how hard
they tried.
1686
01:17:31,347 --> 01:17:32,782
"Because when a child
1687
01:17:32,816 --> 01:17:35,418
"reached his hand
up to Ricky--
1688
01:17:35,451 --> 01:17:38,121
[whinnies, snarls]
1689
01:17:39,255 --> 01:17:41,991
"Munch, munch,
went Ricky s powerful,
1690
01:17:42,025 --> 01:17:43,059
"flat, yellow teeth.
1691
01:17:43,092 --> 01:17:47,463
"And crunch! And off came
the little boy's fingers.
1692
01:17:47,496 --> 01:17:50,700
"And whee!
The blood ran across
1693
01:17:50,734 --> 01:17:53,770
his blue lips."
1694
01:17:53,803 --> 01:17:55,438
Whee!
1695
01:18:04,447 --> 01:18:06,850
What do you say, Earl?
1696
01:18:06,883 --> 01:18:08,818
All clear now!
1697
01:18:08,852 --> 01:18:10,319
Nice night for it,
Kirby.
1698
01:18:10,353 --> 01:18:12,789
Kirby: It's a sign, boy.
1699
01:18:51,160 --> 01:18:53,897
[Disco music playing]
1700
01:18:58,434 --> 01:19:01,504
Well, this has
got to go.
1701
01:19:03,873 --> 01:19:07,010
[Chuckles]
All right.
1702
01:19:10,213 --> 01:19:12,816
[Country music playing]
1703
01:19:12,849 --> 01:19:14,017
* tomorrow night
1704
01:19:14,050 --> 01:19:14,818
[snoring]
1705
01:19:14,851 --> 01:19:19,455
* you'll have
another sweetheart *
1706
01:19:21,257 --> 01:19:24,160
* tomorrow night
1707
01:19:24,593 --> 01:19:28,064
[up-tempo country
music playing]
1708
01:19:34,971 --> 01:19:38,942
* you just don't know
1709
01:19:38,975 --> 01:19:41,878
* how to treat me right
1710
01:19:41,911 --> 01:19:44,881
* oh, I can't go through
1711
01:19:44,914 --> 01:19:49,285
* another lonely night
1712
01:19:52,621 --> 01:19:55,524
hold it.
Truck coming.
1713
01:19:55,558 --> 01:19:58,828
Hit the lights.
Hit the lights!
1714
01:20:12,408 --> 01:20:17,380
Lights on. Come on.
Ok, but work quietly.
1715
01:20:17,881 --> 01:20:21,918
* and called it macaroni
yankee doodle, keep it up *
1716
01:20:21,951 --> 01:20:24,353
* yankee doodle dandy
1717
01:20:24,387 --> 01:20:27,123
[speaking Vietnamese]
1718
01:20:54,283 --> 01:20:56,585
[Car horn honking]
1719
01:20:56,619 --> 01:20:59,355
Ok, that's good.
1720
01:20:59,388 --> 01:21:00,990
All right.
1721
01:21:01,024 --> 01:21:03,326
Check the road.
1722
01:21:17,673 --> 01:21:20,009
It's a beauty.
It's a beauty.
1723
01:21:20,043 --> 01:21:23,046
[Dominique playing]
1724
01:21:25,081 --> 01:21:28,017
[Continues in French]
1725
01:21:49,072 --> 01:21:52,475
[Whistles]
Tell 'em it's all clear!
1726
01:21:52,508 --> 01:21:55,078
[Speaking Vietnamese]
1727
01:21:55,111 --> 01:21:56,946
[Speaking Vietnamese]
1728
01:21:56,980 --> 01:21:59,315
All clear!
1729
01:22:00,016 --> 01:22:01,584
Kirby, I don't think
we should do this.
1730
01:22:01,617 --> 01:22:02,485
We could all be killed.
1731
01:22:02,518 --> 01:22:03,386
It's just a little bit
of dynamite, honey.
1732
01:22:03,419 --> 01:22:05,321
We're just gonna
make a little bitty hole.
1733
01:22:05,354 --> 01:22:08,257
Now, don't you worry.
Fifteen, fourteen,
1734
01:22:08,291 --> 01:22:11,995
thirteen, twelve, eleven,
1735
01:22:12,028 --> 01:22:16,065
ten, nine, eight--
1736
01:22:16,099 --> 01:22:19,102
[siren wailing]
1737
01:22:31,147 --> 01:22:33,449
Ten, nine, eight--
1738
01:22:33,482 --> 01:22:34,650
please,
we've never done--
1739
01:22:34,683 --> 01:22:36,019
could you show
a little confidence
1740
01:22:36,052 --> 01:22:38,287
in my ability
to handle this situation!
1741
01:22:38,321 --> 01:22:41,024
Ten, nine,
1742
01:22:41,057 --> 01:22:45,128
eight, seven, six,
1743
01:22:45,161 --> 01:22:48,998
five, four,
three, two,
1744
01:22:49,032 --> 01:22:50,666
one.
1745
01:22:55,138 --> 01:22:56,772
Oh, thank god.
1746
01:22:56,805 --> 01:22:58,374
What happened?
1747
01:22:58,407 --> 01:23:01,610
Nothing happened,
obviously.
1748
01:23:03,079 --> 01:23:05,248
Aah! Oh, my god!
1749
01:23:17,160 --> 01:23:19,262
Holy shit!
1750
01:23:19,295 --> 01:23:22,231
[People cheering]
1751
01:23:23,399 --> 01:23:26,169
* ticlaw, ticlaw
1752
01:23:26,202 --> 01:23:30,173
* wonderful, beautiful
part of heaven *
1753
01:23:30,206 --> 01:23:32,508
* ticlaw, ticlaw
1754
01:23:32,541 --> 01:23:37,146
* wonderful,
beautiful town *
1755
01:23:37,180 --> 01:23:40,116
[indistinct
chatter, yelling]
1756
01:23:53,529 --> 01:23:55,464
Ok, folks,
just slow it down.
1757
01:23:55,498 --> 01:23:56,832
We had a little
accident here.
1758
01:23:56,865 --> 01:23:59,102
Just follow
the smiling faces
1759
01:23:59,135 --> 01:24:00,103
right down to ticlaw.
1760
01:24:00,136 --> 01:24:02,271
What's the problem, pal?
We got to get to Miami.
1761
01:24:02,305 --> 01:24:03,306
You'll be in Miami
1762
01:24:03,339 --> 01:24:04,373
first thing
in the morning.
1763
01:24:04,407 --> 01:24:06,309
Just keep
right on going.
1764
01:24:06,342 --> 01:24:07,743
Welcome to ticlaw.
1765
01:24:07,776 --> 01:24:10,479
Welcome to ticlaw.
1766
01:24:25,561 --> 01:24:28,264
[Rock music playing]
1767
01:24:29,132 --> 01:24:32,635
Welcome to the ticlaw inn,
everybody.
1768
01:24:32,668 --> 01:24:34,803
Come on, James.
Bring 'em in here.
1769
01:24:34,837 --> 01:24:37,606
You're doing a fine job.
Welcome.
1770
01:24:37,640 --> 01:24:39,775
It's very good
to see you.
1771
01:24:39,808 --> 01:24:40,876
Nice to see you.
1772
01:24:40,909 --> 01:24:45,581
Nice to see you.
Welcome, welcome.
1773
01:24:45,614 --> 01:24:47,883
All right.
1774
01:24:47,916 --> 01:24:50,119
An hour ago, I was
on my way to Miami,
1775
01:24:50,153 --> 01:24:51,420
and then this happened.
1776
01:24:51,454 --> 01:24:53,189
I don't want to
stay here.
1777
01:24:53,222 --> 01:24:54,623
Oh, come on.
1778
01:24:54,657 --> 01:24:57,193
This place
is great.
1779
01:25:00,296 --> 01:25:02,365
Eddie: She finds you
very attractive.
1780
01:25:02,398 --> 01:25:03,732
Brandon:
Do you know her?
1781
01:25:03,766 --> 01:25:04,567
Oh, yeah.
She's my sister.
1782
01:25:04,600 --> 01:25:08,171
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
She's my stepsister.
1783
01:25:08,204 --> 01:25:10,439
Oh!
1784
01:25:10,473 --> 01:25:12,241
Hello. My name's casual.
1785
01:25:12,275 --> 01:25:13,276
It's awfully
noisy in here.
1786
01:25:13,309 --> 01:25:15,144
Why don't you go
up to your room?
1787
01:25:15,178 --> 01:25:16,145
Just take him upstairs.
1788
01:25:16,179 --> 01:25:17,913
You don't like dogs,
do you?
1789
01:25:17,946 --> 01:25:21,450
No, actually,
I'm a cat man, myself.
1790
01:25:21,850 --> 01:25:24,687
Whoo! Watch it, baby!
1791
01:25:25,688 --> 01:25:27,723
* always drinking
my Brandy *
1792
01:25:27,756 --> 01:25:32,161
* everything is dandy
1793
01:25:32,195 --> 01:25:33,329
* cause i'm
1794
01:25:33,362 --> 01:25:34,230
* about as crazy as you
1795
01:25:34,263 --> 01:25:36,899
see that girl over
there? The one in white?
1796
01:25:36,932 --> 01:25:39,402
Osvaldo: Oh, yeah.
She's very pretty.
1797
01:25:39,435 --> 01:25:40,903
Oh, she likes you.
1798
01:25:40,936 --> 01:25:42,805
She likes me?
1799
01:25:42,838 --> 01:25:45,308
You see, I'm her doctor.
Psychiatrist.
1800
01:25:45,341 --> 01:25:46,209
She's crazy?
1801
01:25:46,242 --> 01:25:47,343
You'd be helping her.
1802
01:25:47,376 --> 01:25:51,680
In 5 minutes,
go over and talk to her.
1803
01:25:51,714 --> 01:25:54,317
[Mouths words]
1804
01:25:56,885 --> 01:26:00,689
Sherman: You've gotta have
a phrase--"ticlaw ticks."
1805
01:26:00,723 --> 01:26:01,590
Kirby: "Ticlaw ticks."
1806
01:26:01,624 --> 01:26:04,960
Sherm: Or, uh, "time
in ticlaw tantalizes."
1807
01:26:04,993 --> 01:26:06,862
And show a picture
of a pretty girl.
1808
01:26:06,895 --> 01:26:08,531
See, it's
the association
1809
01:26:08,564 --> 01:26:10,266
of ideas
that counts.
1810
01:26:10,299 --> 01:26:11,700
Sell ticlaw
as a sort
1811
01:26:11,734 --> 01:26:13,936
of sexual oasis.
1812
01:26:13,969 --> 01:26:15,904
"Our time in ticlaw
was torrid."
1813
01:26:15,938 --> 01:26:19,275
Your husband certainly
knows his advertising.
1814
01:26:19,308 --> 01:26:20,376
Does he ever.
1815
01:26:20,409 --> 01:26:22,478
My sherm invented
bad breath.
1816
01:26:22,511 --> 01:26:25,314
Your husband
invented bad breath?
1817
01:26:25,348 --> 01:26:28,717
He fought for bad breath
for years and years,
1818
01:26:28,751 --> 01:26:30,453
and finally he got it.
1819
01:26:30,486 --> 01:26:33,356
Carol. You did one
brilliant thing, though,
1820
01:26:33,389 --> 01:26:34,923
and that was
to give everything
1821
01:26:34,957 --> 01:26:36,225
away for free.
1822
01:26:36,259 --> 01:26:37,192
You see,
he invented this test
1823
01:26:37,226 --> 01:26:38,994
where you put your hand
in front of your mouth
1824
01:26:39,027 --> 01:26:39,962
and you blow.
1825
01:26:39,995 --> 01:26:42,965
Now, what you're smelling
is not your breath.
1826
01:26:42,998 --> 01:26:45,534
What you're smelling
is your fingers.
1827
01:26:45,568 --> 01:26:46,769
Shut up, Carol.
1828
01:26:46,802 --> 01:26:49,538
[Disco music playing]
1829
01:26:59,482 --> 01:27:02,251
Thank you very much.
1830
01:27:02,651 --> 01:27:06,622
Good--good evening.
1831
01:27:07,390 --> 01:27:09,292
[Sneezes]
1832
01:27:11,460 --> 01:27:13,896
Is your room
upstairs?
1833
01:27:13,929 --> 01:27:17,333
But of course.
1834
01:27:20,369 --> 01:27:22,371
Whoo-hoo!
1835
01:27:22,405 --> 01:27:24,640
All right!
1836
01:27:24,673 --> 01:27:27,376
All right!
1837
01:27:29,578 --> 01:27:32,315
We ain't seen nothin'
like this in years.
1838
01:27:32,348 --> 01:27:33,582
You gonna love it here.
1839
01:27:33,616 --> 01:27:36,419
Well, wasn't part
of the plan,
1840
01:27:36,452 --> 01:27:38,754
but it's a nice
little place, huh?
1841
01:27:38,787 --> 01:27:41,357
Hotels like this are
part of our heritage.
1842
01:27:41,390 --> 01:27:42,791
Yeah.
1843
01:27:42,825 --> 01:27:43,926
Honey--
1844
01:27:43,959 --> 01:27:47,430
look, uh,
how about tonight?
1845
01:27:47,463 --> 01:27:50,299
Tonight?
What about last night?
1846
01:27:50,333 --> 01:27:51,066
Tonight, too.
1847
01:27:51,099 --> 01:27:54,470
Look, I am on
vacation.
1848
01:27:54,503 --> 01:27:57,973
Hey, Carmen, what's
your favorite color?
1849
01:27:58,006 --> 01:28:01,444
I think the living room
should be done in beige.
1850
01:28:01,477 --> 01:28:02,811
I kind of like red.
1851
01:28:02,845 --> 01:28:04,347
Well, then,
reddish beige.
1852
01:28:04,380 --> 01:28:05,514
How about the bedroom?
What do you say?
1853
01:28:05,548 --> 01:28:07,350
Whoa, Duane.
I think we ought
1854
01:28:07,383 --> 01:28:08,717
to get to know
each other
1855
01:28:08,751 --> 01:28:09,585
a little better
1856
01:28:09,618 --> 01:28:11,354
before we start looking
at paint chips.
1857
01:28:11,387 --> 01:28:12,855
I mean, did it
ever occur to you
1858
01:28:12,888 --> 01:28:16,425
that this relationship
might not work out?
1859
01:28:16,459 --> 01:28:17,125
No.
1860
01:28:17,159 --> 01:28:18,827
Well, my heart
starts to pound
1861
01:28:18,861 --> 01:28:21,597
if I get within 50 miles
of an army base.
1862
01:28:21,630 --> 01:28:22,898
Trouble with you is
1863
01:28:22,931 --> 01:28:25,968
you don't know a sure thing
when you see one.
1864
01:28:29,438 --> 01:28:31,106
Oh, mama!
1865
01:28:31,139 --> 01:28:34,042
[Duane singing]
* oh, Carmen
1866
01:28:34,076 --> 01:28:37,546
* I love you so
1867
01:28:37,580 --> 01:28:41,384
* Carmen, Carmen, Carmen
I love you, love you *
1868
01:28:41,417 --> 01:28:44,387
[continues, indistinct]
1869
01:29:22,558 --> 01:29:24,727
Carmen?
1870
01:29:26,962 --> 01:29:28,531
Hmm.
1871
01:29:28,564 --> 01:29:31,099
Carmen: Ooh!
1872
01:29:32,034 --> 01:29:34,470
Carmen?
1873
01:29:38,607 --> 01:29:41,076
Huh.
1874
01:29:47,115 --> 01:29:48,417
[Elephant trumpets]
1875
01:29:48,451 --> 01:29:49,785
Come along. Come along.
1876
01:29:49,818 --> 01:29:51,720
Zoo.
1877
01:29:51,754 --> 01:29:52,488
Zoo.
1878
01:29:52,521 --> 01:29:56,425
Right over here,
we have our lion.
1879
01:29:56,459 --> 01:29:57,726
Oh! Oh!
1880
01:29:57,760 --> 01:29:59,795
Can you say "lion"?
1881
01:29:59,828 --> 01:30:01,430
Children: Lion.
1882
01:30:01,464 --> 01:30:02,931
[Speaking Vietnamese]
1883
01:30:02,965 --> 01:30:04,867
And next, over here,
1884
01:30:04,900 --> 01:30:06,802
we have our elephant.
1885
01:30:06,835 --> 01:30:08,537
All: Elephant.
1886
01:30:08,571 --> 01:30:10,072
Bubbles.
1887
01:30:10,105 --> 01:30:15,077
Did you know that bubbles
can water ski?
1888
01:30:18,847 --> 01:30:20,883
[Vietnamese continues]
1889
01:30:20,916 --> 01:30:24,487
Here we have
our pony.
1890
01:30:25,488 --> 01:30:31,527
If you like, you can
reach up and pet her.
1891
01:30:32,528 --> 01:30:34,229
[Whinnies]
1892
01:30:34,262 --> 01:30:35,163
No licky!
1893
01:30:35,197 --> 01:30:38,667
No licky!
No! No licky!
1894
01:30:38,701 --> 01:30:40,603
No licky!
1895
01:30:40,636 --> 01:30:43,572
[All screaming]
1896
01:30:44,206 --> 01:30:46,642
[Speaking Vietnamese]
Come back!
1897
01:30:49,678 --> 01:30:52,548
[Telephone rings]
1898
01:30:56,585 --> 01:30:57,753
How do. Ticlaw inn.
1899
01:30:57,786 --> 01:31:00,188
I'm sorry,
we're all booked up.
1900
01:31:00,222 --> 01:31:01,724
Oh, yes.
1901
01:31:01,757 --> 01:31:02,991
One moment.
1902
01:31:03,025 --> 01:31:05,628
Kirby!
1903
01:31:08,631 --> 01:31:09,665
It's the governor.
1904
01:31:09,698 --> 01:31:12,601
Tell him I'll take it
in the office.
1905
01:31:12,635 --> 01:31:17,540
Uh, Mr. Calo
will be right with you.
1906
01:31:20,576 --> 01:31:22,144
Hello, your honor.
1907
01:31:22,177 --> 01:31:24,112
Is this Kirby calo?
1908
01:31:24,146 --> 01:31:24,780
Yes, sir.
1909
01:31:24,813 --> 01:31:27,550
Mr. Calo,
what do you intend
1910
01:31:27,583 --> 01:31:29,652
doing with your hostages?
1911
01:31:29,685 --> 01:31:30,553
Hostages?
1912
01:31:30,586 --> 01:31:32,120
We don't intend doing
anything with them.
1913
01:31:32,154 --> 01:31:34,590
We got no real use
for 'em.
1914
01:31:34,623 --> 01:31:35,691
[Speaking Vietnamese]
1915
01:31:35,724 --> 01:31:38,260
What was that?
What was that noise?
1916
01:31:38,293 --> 01:31:41,797
Well, that's just
the game room, sir.
1917
01:31:42,731 --> 01:31:47,670
Game room? He's got 'em
locked up in a game room.
1918
01:31:47,703 --> 01:31:50,172
Well, we would like
to talk to you.
1919
01:31:50,205 --> 01:31:52,575
Sure. We'd love
to meet.
1920
01:31:52,608 --> 01:31:53,576
Remember attica?
1921
01:31:53,609 --> 01:31:54,777
Never give in to demands.
Don't meet with them.
1922
01:31:54,810 --> 01:31:55,510
Shut the fuck up.
1923
01:31:55,544 --> 01:31:58,313
Uh, where did you
want to meet?
1924
01:31:58,346 --> 01:32:00,849
How about right down
the center of ticlaw?
1925
01:32:00,883 --> 01:32:01,516
You'll find it.
1926
01:32:01,550 --> 01:32:03,285
It's the town
with no exit.
1927
01:32:03,318 --> 01:32:05,120
We'll do just that.
1928
01:32:05,153 --> 01:32:07,222
[Sighs] If we ever
1929
01:32:07,255 --> 01:32:08,991
get this thing
worked out properly,
1930
01:32:09,024 --> 01:32:11,894
I will see to it that
you work in the post office
1931
01:32:11,927 --> 01:32:15,598
for the rest
of your natural life!
1932
01:32:17,299 --> 01:32:19,902
Hi, little Billy. Have
you seen your daddy?
1933
01:32:19,935 --> 01:32:21,704
No.
You haven't?
1934
01:32:21,737 --> 01:32:22,370
No.
1935
01:32:22,404 --> 01:32:25,540
I'll kill ya!
I'll kill ya!
1936
01:32:35,050 --> 01:32:38,053
Boy, was that ever
worth it. Thank you.
1937
01:32:38,086 --> 01:32:40,155
Good. Come again.
1938
01:32:40,188 --> 01:32:41,924
I gotta go
change my shirt.
1939
01:32:41,957 --> 01:32:43,759
Ok? Ok.
1940
01:32:43,792 --> 01:32:44,559
Hi.
1941
01:32:44,593 --> 01:32:46,595
Hi. Haven't we met
somewhere before?
1942
01:32:46,629 --> 01:32:48,697
I don't think
it was my station.
1943
01:32:48,731 --> 01:32:50,999
'Cause I'm your mother.
You do what I tell you.
1944
01:32:51,033 --> 01:32:55,738
No, you're not gonna
play anymore. No.
1945
01:32:59,007 --> 01:33:01,744
Billy: I'm gonna go
and play with the gun.
1946
01:33:02,945 --> 01:33:04,647
Bye.
1947
01:33:04,680 --> 01:33:06,214
Bye.
1948
01:33:10,686 --> 01:33:13,221
So, uh, how would
you like
1949
01:33:13,255 --> 01:33:14,189
to go up to the room
1950
01:33:14,222 --> 01:33:16,659
and, uh, just
be alone together?
1951
01:33:16,692 --> 01:33:18,193
You and I?
1952
01:33:18,226 --> 01:33:22,130
Well, I'm a little tired
right now, honey.
1953
01:33:22,164 --> 01:33:25,033
Hungry, too. Hungry.
1954
01:33:25,067 --> 01:33:26,835
Hungry?
1955
01:33:29,772 --> 01:33:31,239
* you dance so good
1956
01:33:31,273 --> 01:33:33,776
* so maybe we should
1957
01:33:33,809 --> 01:33:35,944
* do it again
1958
01:33:35,978 --> 01:33:36,712
* do it again,
again *
1959
01:33:36,745 --> 01:33:39,414
* you do the things
that you do *
1960
01:33:39,447 --> 01:33:42,284
[song continues]
1961
01:33:44,219 --> 01:33:46,054
* come on
1962
01:33:46,088 --> 01:33:48,256
* come on
1963
01:33:54,129 --> 01:33:56,131
Whoa!
1964
01:33:56,164 --> 01:33:57,900
Get down, sister!
1965
01:34:01,837 --> 01:34:04,306
You must come with me
immediately.
1966
01:34:04,339 --> 01:34:07,142
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
1967
01:34:07,175 --> 01:34:08,410
Absolute disgrace!
1968
01:34:08,443 --> 01:34:09,745
I was only dancing.
1969
01:34:09,778 --> 01:34:10,746
When are you
going to learn
1970
01:34:10,779 --> 01:34:11,780
that you are
a bride of Christ?
1971
01:34:11,814 --> 01:34:13,816
If Jesus is such
a good husband,
1972
01:34:13,849 --> 01:34:16,752
why won't he let me
dance a little?
1973
01:34:16,785 --> 01:34:18,754
Carmen!
1974
01:34:24,960 --> 01:34:27,195
Come with me.
1975
01:34:29,497 --> 01:34:31,099
Kneel.
1976
01:34:31,133 --> 01:34:33,135
Ow!
1977
01:34:33,168 --> 01:34:36,271
Up. Down.
1978
01:34:36,304 --> 01:34:38,707
Carmen?
1979
01:34:38,741 --> 01:34:40,709
Carmen?
1980
01:34:40,743 --> 01:34:42,978
Up. Down.
1981
01:34:43,011 --> 01:34:44,479
Up. Down. Up.
1982
01:34:44,512 --> 01:34:46,314
Pardon me.
1983
01:35:15,878 --> 01:35:17,880
Governor: Where is he?
1984
01:35:17,913 --> 01:35:20,415
I don't see anybody.
1985
01:35:20,448 --> 01:35:21,750
Or anything.
1986
01:35:21,784 --> 01:35:24,352
It's eerie.
1987
01:35:24,386 --> 01:35:26,254
It's a trap.
1988
01:35:26,288 --> 01:35:28,791
[Telephone rings]
1989
01:35:28,824 --> 01:35:32,928
Whoa. Whoa, whoa.
Stop the car.
1990
01:35:35,063 --> 01:35:36,064
[Ring]
1991
01:35:36,098 --> 01:35:36,899
Answer it.
1992
01:35:36,932 --> 01:35:38,867
It's not for me.
No one knows I'm here.
1993
01:35:38,901 --> 01:35:41,169
Answer the phone!
1994
01:35:46,942 --> 01:35:49,778
Hello? Uh-huh.
1995
01:35:49,812 --> 01:35:52,080
Uh-huh.
1996
01:35:58,186 --> 01:36:00,388
They said, get out
of the cars
1997
01:36:00,422 --> 01:36:01,056
and meet them
1998
01:36:01,089 --> 01:36:03,758
in the middle
of the street.
1999
01:36:45,968 --> 01:36:47,936
It's a pleasure
to meet you, your honor.
2000
01:36:47,970 --> 01:36:49,071
What do you want?
2001
01:36:49,104 --> 01:36:52,507
Well, we want what we always
wanted from the beginning--
2002
01:36:52,540 --> 01:36:53,909
an exit for ticlaw.
2003
01:36:53,942 --> 01:36:55,343
Well, taking hostages
2004
01:36:55,377 --> 01:36:57,579
is not the way
to go about it.
2005
01:36:57,612 --> 01:36:58,413
Well, we tried bribery,
2006
01:36:58,446 --> 01:37:01,283
but that didn't work.
Right, Mr. Kirk?
2007
01:37:01,316 --> 01:37:03,151
You still got
the ten thou?
2008
01:37:03,185 --> 01:37:04,887
It's around somewhere.
2009
01:37:04,920 --> 01:37:06,554
This is worse
than Watergate.
2010
01:37:06,588 --> 01:37:07,489
Shut up.
2011
01:37:07,522 --> 01:37:09,892
We will never give in
to your demands, ever.
2012
01:37:09,925 --> 01:37:11,059
You cannot force US--
2013
01:37:11,093 --> 01:37:13,428
[explosion]
2014
01:37:14,296 --> 01:37:16,131
What in the world
are you doing
2015
01:37:16,164 --> 01:37:17,565
to those poor tourists?
2016
01:37:17,599 --> 01:37:20,168
Oh, we're just showing them
a real good time.
2017
01:37:20,202 --> 01:37:23,371
Oh. And if
I don't give in?
2018
01:37:23,405 --> 01:37:26,608
I understand you're running
for reelection, governor.
2019
01:37:26,641 --> 01:37:28,043
Sir, I cannot
participate
2020
01:37:28,076 --> 01:37:29,311
in a cover-up.
2021
01:37:29,344 --> 01:37:30,578
I point to
Watergate--
2022
01:37:30,612 --> 01:37:32,981
shut up.
Shut...Up.
2023
01:37:33,982 --> 01:37:37,319
Ok. Have you got it,
Mr. Kirk?
2024
01:37:37,352 --> 01:37:39,121
Yeah.
2025
01:37:58,706 --> 01:38:00,909
You know,
it's a terrible thing
2026
01:38:00,943 --> 01:38:03,278
when you pay for something
and you don't get it.
2027
01:38:03,311 --> 01:38:06,148
Makes you wonder
who you can trust.
2028
01:38:06,181 --> 01:38:09,317
Me. You can trust me.
2029
01:38:09,351 --> 01:38:11,019
I deliver.
2030
01:38:11,053 --> 01:38:15,924
That was my campaign
slogan-- "I deliver."
2031
01:38:23,065 --> 01:38:26,634
Gentlemen,
I think Mr. Calo
2032
01:38:26,668 --> 01:38:29,938
deserves an exit.
2033
01:38:32,340 --> 01:38:35,077
[Cheering]
2034
01:38:36,744 --> 01:38:39,081
[Speaking Vietnamese]
2035
01:38:39,114 --> 01:38:41,449
Ohh!
2036
01:38:42,650 --> 01:38:45,087
Oh-ho!
2037
01:38:51,659 --> 01:38:54,296
Go on, take it.
2038
01:38:59,367 --> 01:39:02,237
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
2039
01:39:02,270 --> 01:39:05,373
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
2040
01:39:05,407 --> 01:39:09,644
* they don't give a damn
they don't understand *
2041
01:39:09,677 --> 01:39:12,014
* going faster, faster
2042
01:39:12,047 --> 01:39:14,482
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
2043
01:39:14,516 --> 01:39:17,385
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
2044
01:39:17,419 --> 01:39:21,289
* they don't give a damn
slam, bam *
2045
01:39:21,323 --> 01:39:23,358
* thank you, ma'am
2046
01:39:23,391 --> 01:39:26,394
hey, isn't that
sister Mary Magdalen?
2047
01:39:26,428 --> 01:39:28,196
Yes.
2048
01:39:28,230 --> 01:39:29,131
Where's she going?
2049
01:39:29,164 --> 01:39:32,334
To hell, I'm afraid.
2050
01:39:32,367 --> 01:39:33,168
* thank you, ma'am
2051
01:39:33,201 --> 01:39:35,137
* when you're out there
on the road *
2052
01:39:35,170 --> 01:39:36,304
* and you're feeling
good and slow *
2053
01:39:36,338 --> 01:39:39,107
* 'cause you're holding back
your feelings every mile *
2054
01:39:39,141 --> 01:39:40,542
* and the world
you're living in *
2055
01:39:40,575 --> 01:39:42,277
* don't make no sense
don't make you grin *
2056
01:39:42,310 --> 01:39:45,013
* it's even hard
to try to smile *
2057
01:39:45,047 --> 01:39:46,581
* and the faces
that you see *
2058
01:39:46,614 --> 01:39:48,116
* they don't relate
to you or me *
2059
01:39:48,150 --> 01:39:49,517
* I swear,
I really disagree *
2060
01:39:49,551 --> 01:39:51,386
* what nature meant
for me to be *
2061
01:39:51,419 --> 01:39:52,287
* I find it much too tough
2062
01:39:52,320 --> 01:39:54,056
* this road is getting
much too rough *
2063
01:39:54,089 --> 01:39:56,024
* I say enough is enough
is enough *
2064
01:39:56,058 --> 01:39:58,793
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
2065
01:39:58,826 --> 01:40:01,529
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
2066
01:40:01,563 --> 01:40:05,300
* they don't give a damn
or understand *
2067
01:40:05,333 --> 01:40:07,402
* going faster, faster
2068
01:40:07,435 --> 01:40:10,405
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
2069
01:40:10,438 --> 01:40:13,141
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
2070
01:40:13,175 --> 01:40:17,179
* ooh, they don't give
a damn slam, bam *
2071
01:40:17,212 --> 01:40:19,114
* thank you, ma'am
2072
01:40:19,147 --> 01:40:21,449
* oh, thank you, ma'am
2073
01:40:21,483 --> 01:40:24,119
* oh, no, no, no
2074
01:40:24,152 --> 01:40:26,188
* no
2075
01:40:26,221 --> 01:40:28,290
* slam, bam
no!
2076
01:40:28,323 --> 01:40:31,093
Oh, no!
2077
01:40:32,427 --> 01:40:37,132
Oh, no!
2078
01:41:14,836 --> 01:41:17,772
Man: Wow! How did this
happen, anyway?
2079
01:41:17,805 --> 01:41:18,806
Second man: Did anybody
see this?
2080
01:41:18,840 --> 01:41:23,411
I saw the whole thing
through my rearview mirror.
2081
01:41:24,912 --> 01:41:26,414
Whoa!
2082
01:41:26,448 --> 01:41:28,183
A lion!
2083
01:41:28,216 --> 01:41:31,119
[Excited chattering]
2084
01:41:35,357 --> 01:41:40,728
Aah! Ow! Aah!
2085
01:41:43,765 --> 01:41:46,468
Hey, want to go to Miami?
2086
01:41:47,502 --> 01:41:49,804
* the highway
stretches out-- *
2087
01:41:49,837 --> 01:41:52,807
oh, no!
2088
01:41:52,840 --> 01:41:57,845
* it tells a simple story
everyone can understand *
2089
01:41:57,879 --> 01:42:01,283
* it's just
a concrete river *
2090
01:42:01,316 --> 01:42:02,784
* reaching toward the sea
2091
01:42:02,817 --> 01:42:04,486
Billy, please,
it's not funny!
2092
01:42:04,519 --> 01:42:06,221
Come on, mom, please.
2093
01:42:06,254 --> 01:42:07,422
Help me.
Somebody, please!
2094
01:42:07,455 --> 01:42:09,824
* it's like
home sweet home to me *
2095
01:42:09,857 --> 01:42:12,894
* it's a honky tonk freeway
2096
01:42:12,927 --> 01:42:16,264
* it's america on wheels
2097
01:42:16,298 --> 01:42:19,234
* motel rooms,
neon lights *
2098
01:42:19,267 --> 01:42:22,537
* drive-in,
drive-out meals *
2099
01:42:22,570 --> 01:42:25,607
* and it's windin'
cross the country *
2100
01:42:25,640 --> 01:42:29,277
* just as far
as you can see *
2101
01:42:29,311 --> 01:42:32,714
* on the honky tonk
freeway *
2102
01:42:32,747 --> 01:42:34,249
I'm sittin up front!
2103
01:42:34,282 --> 01:42:36,384
* that's where
I wanna be *
2104
01:42:36,418 --> 01:42:37,219
* that's where
I wanna be *
2105
01:42:37,252 --> 01:42:40,222
* well, it's
a honky tonk freeway *
2106
01:42:40,255 --> 01:42:42,390
* it's paradise on wheels
2107
01:42:42,424 --> 01:42:44,592
it's a miracle!
2108
01:42:44,626 --> 01:42:47,295
* hotel rooms,
neon lights *
2109
01:42:47,329 --> 01:42:48,396
my money, my money!
2110
01:42:48,430 --> 01:42:50,198
* drive-in,
drive-out meals *
2111
01:42:50,232 --> 01:42:53,368
* well, it's windin
cross the country *
2112
01:42:53,401 --> 01:42:56,538
* just as far
as you can see *
2113
01:42:56,571 --> 01:42:57,239
[growling]
2114
01:42:57,272 --> 01:43:00,675
* on the honky tonk
freeway *
2115
01:43:00,708 --> 01:43:04,946
* that's where I wanna be
2116
01:43:04,979 --> 01:43:07,782
[shouting, cheering]
2117
01:43:07,815 --> 01:43:10,552
All right!
All right! Whoo!
2118
01:43:11,853 --> 01:43:16,524
* wonderful, beautiful
part of heaven *
2119
01:43:16,558 --> 01:43:18,326
* ticlaw
2120
01:43:18,360 --> 01:43:21,796
* ticlaw, ticlaw
2121
01:43:21,829 --> 01:43:25,933
* wonderful, beautiful
part of heaven *
2122
01:43:25,967 --> 01:43:29,237
* ticlaw, ticlaw
2123
01:43:29,271 --> 01:43:34,709
* wonderful,
beautiful town *
2124
01:43:37,279 --> 01:43:39,914
captioning made possible by
lions gate entertainment
2125
01:43:39,947 --> 01:43:44,586
captioned by the national
captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
131877
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