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1
00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,879
'Twas the night
before Trashmas,
2
00:00:05,879 --> 00:00:07,782
and all through the yard,
3
00:00:07,782 --> 00:00:09,620
not a creature was stirring
4
00:00:09,620 --> 00:00:12,091
save for one Saint Bernard.
5
00:00:12,091 --> 00:00:14,963
Merry Trashmas!
[giggles]
6
00:00:14,963 --> 00:00:17,602
Oh, how can it still be dark?
7
00:00:17,602 --> 00:00:18,303
Honey, wake up!
8
00:00:18,303 --> 00:00:20,073
Ugh, go to sleep, Chief.
9
00:00:20,073 --> 00:00:21,376
Aah, I can't!
10
00:00:21,376 --> 00:00:24,181
Ah, Trashmas is
my favorite holiday.
11
00:00:24,181 --> 00:00:27,756
All those beautiful
overflowing garbage cans
12
00:00:27,756 --> 00:00:29,125
for me to knock over.
13
00:00:29,125 --> 00:00:31,262
Oh, I wonder
what the Trashsquatch
14
00:00:31,262 --> 00:00:33,768
is gonna bring me this year.
[giggles]
15
00:00:33,768 --> 00:00:35,070
Trashsquatch can't come
16
00:00:35,070 --> 00:00:36,941
unless you go to sleep
like a good boy.
17
00:00:36,941 --> 00:00:38,511
Can't sleep.
Too excited.
18
00:00:38,511 --> 00:00:41,115
When I have insomnia,
I practice mindfulness.
19
00:00:41,115 --> 00:00:42,318
Research has proven that--
20
00:00:42,418 --> 00:00:43,988
[snoring]
21
00:00:43,988 --> 00:00:45,558
Trashsquatch.
22
00:00:45,558 --> 00:00:46,627
Huh.
23
00:00:46,727 --> 00:00:50,300
The trash bins were stuffed
in a haphazard way
24
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:53,674
for the animals'
annual refuse buffet.
25
00:00:53,674 --> 00:00:57,949
They dreamt Trashmas dreams
regardless of species,
26
00:00:57,949 --> 00:00:59,285
of bubble wrap,
27
00:00:59,285 --> 00:01:01,155
boxes...
- [cackles]
28
00:01:01,155 --> 00:01:03,059
Old gravy,
29
00:01:03,059 --> 00:01:04,763
and feces.
30
00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:11,644
As the rays of sunshine
began to appear...
31
00:01:13,246 --> 00:01:14,650
Honey, wake up!
32
00:01:14,650 --> 00:01:16,687
Trashmas is here!
33
00:01:16,687 --> 00:01:18,089
Ugh.
34
00:01:19,458 --> 00:01:21,162
[muffled]
Merry Trashmas!
35
00:01:21,162 --> 00:01:23,668
Me-rry Trash-mas.
36
00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:24,903
[giggles]
37
00:01:24,903 --> 00:01:26,573
[gasps]
38
00:01:26,573 --> 00:01:27,474
Aah!
39
00:01:27,474 --> 00:01:29,780
Where's all the garbage?
- They're empty.
40
00:01:29,780 --> 00:01:31,817
I was such a good dog
this year.
41
00:01:31,817 --> 00:01:33,453
[panting]
42
00:01:33,453 --> 00:01:35,625
Jill,
something horrible has hap--
43
00:01:35,625 --> 00:01:36,694
[gasps]
44
00:01:36,694 --> 00:01:39,566
First no trash?
Now no Jill?
45
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,870
What did you do
to anger the Trashsquatch?
46
00:01:41,870 --> 00:01:45,745
Look, Jill would never just
up and leave us on Trashmas.
47
00:01:45,745 --> 00:01:46,614
I'm sure there's--
48
00:01:46,614 --> 00:01:48,551
- [whistling "Jingle Bells"]
- Jill!
49
00:01:48,551 --> 00:01:52,124
I told you she'd never leave us
on Trashmas.
50
00:01:52,124 --> 00:01:54,128
What the suds?
51
00:01:54,128 --> 00:01:56,165
- What's up, dudes?
- Where's Jill?
52
00:01:56,165 --> 00:01:57,468
I saw her leave early
this morning,
53
00:01:57,468 --> 00:01:59,071
so I thought
I'd take a spa day.
54
00:01:59,071 --> 00:02:00,374
On Trashmas?
55
00:02:00,374 --> 00:02:02,444
For raccoons,
every day is Trashmas.
56
00:02:02,444 --> 00:02:05,150
And frankly, when you all start
knocking down garbage cans,
57
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,720
it feels like
cultural appropriation.
58
00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,691
She's gone?
That's not like Jill at all.
59
00:02:08,691 --> 00:02:11,262
We had a good run with her,
but she's gone, Honey.
60
00:02:11,262 --> 00:02:12,666
Let her go.
We have to focus
61
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:15,337
one what's important
and save Trashmas.
62
00:02:15,337 --> 00:02:17,241
In or out.
You're letting out the steam.
63
00:02:17,241 --> 00:02:18,778
♪ I'm in the doghouse ♪
64
00:02:18,778 --> 00:02:22,786
♪ 'Cause I let the cat out
and the stupid dog ♪
65
00:02:22,786 --> 00:02:25,424
♪ Like, every winter,
I like to chicken out ♪
66
00:02:25,424 --> 00:02:27,529
♪ Or drop off like a fly ♪
67
00:02:27,629 --> 00:02:30,267
♪ 'Cause something's
smelling mighty fish ♪
68
00:02:30,267 --> 00:02:33,173
♪ This time of year ♪
69
00:02:33,173 --> 00:02:35,410
♪ Monkey see,
monkey do ♪
70
00:02:35,511 --> 00:02:38,049
♪ Hold your horses,
I'll take two ♪
71
00:02:38,049 --> 00:02:40,420
♪ Horsin' around ♪
72
00:02:40,420 --> 00:02:43,059
♪ Horsin' about ♪
73
00:02:43,059 --> 00:02:45,397
♪ I'm gonna make you unmask ♪
74
00:02:45,397 --> 00:02:48,003
♪ 'Cause I love you ♪
75
00:02:48,003 --> 00:02:49,238
♪ ♪
76
00:02:49,238 --> 00:02:50,575
Ho ho ho!
77
00:02:50,575 --> 00:02:51,944
[pensive music]
78
00:02:51,944 --> 00:02:54,983
Sure, I remember my mother
eating my father and sisters,
79
00:02:55,083 --> 00:02:56,419
but I still remember it
80
00:02:56,419 --> 00:02:59,225
as one of the best Trashmases
I ever had.
81
00:03:00,027 --> 00:03:01,295
Any feedback?
82
00:03:01,295 --> 00:03:04,335
Uh, well, yeah,
gender is fluid.
83
00:03:04,335 --> 00:03:06,339
I'm sorry.
I know I'm distracted.
84
00:03:06,339 --> 00:03:09,178
Jill disappeared, and so,
I'm gonna need to multitask
85
00:03:09,178 --> 00:03:10,347
between my group duties
86
00:03:10,347 --> 00:03:12,251
and staring intensely
at the front door.
87
00:03:12,251 --> 00:03:14,255
What does staring at the door
accomplish?
88
00:03:14,255 --> 00:03:16,392
It's a dog thing.
You wouldn't understand.
89
00:03:16,392 --> 00:03:18,463
All right, I'll ask.
What's with the head bling?
90
00:03:18,463 --> 00:03:19,699
Well, my dad got drunk
91
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,670
and left before taking off
these antlers,
92
00:03:21,670 --> 00:03:24,141
so I was locked outside alone
all night.
93
00:03:24,141 --> 00:03:25,678
[thuds]
94
00:03:25,678 --> 00:03:28,116
It's actually much sadder
than it sounds.
95
00:03:28,116 --> 00:03:29,385
You get used
to being alone.
96
00:03:29,385 --> 00:03:30,287
I like to play this fun game
97
00:03:30,287 --> 00:03:33,193
where I try
to remember Kevin's face.
98
00:03:33,193 --> 00:03:35,197
[chuckles]
I can't do it!
99
00:03:35,197 --> 00:03:36,132
You're welcome
to come to my place
100
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,367
for Trashmas dinner, Cheeks.
101
00:03:37,367 --> 00:03:39,539
Really?
I've never had a real Trashmas.
102
00:03:39,539 --> 00:03:41,342
Kevin likes to travel
over the holidays...
103
00:03:41,342 --> 00:03:42,444
and most days.
104
00:03:42,444 --> 00:03:44,315
Oh, I remember
what he looks like!
105
00:03:44,315 --> 00:03:45,450
Nope.
I lost it.
106
00:03:45,450 --> 00:03:46,653
And I sure hope
he comes home soon.
107
00:03:46,754 --> 00:03:48,423
My bowl's been empty
for two days.
108
00:03:48,423 --> 00:03:50,528
Hey, I also can't remember
what food looks like.
109
00:03:50,528 --> 00:03:51,897
You could come too, Tabitha.
110
00:03:51,897 --> 00:03:54,669
It's usually 20% less violent
during the holidays.
111
00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,540
I hope this doesn't
come off as elitist,
112
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:59,412
but I'm far too good
for your sad slop-fest.
113
00:03:59,412 --> 00:04:01,249
A Boxing Day feast awaits me.
114
00:04:01,249 --> 00:04:02,786
There's always
a mountain of leftovers
115
00:04:02,786 --> 00:04:05,490
even the hungriest cat
could never summit.
116
00:04:05,490 --> 00:04:07,494
- Was that an invite?
- Totally.
117
00:04:07,494 --> 00:04:08,831
Has she always had that accent?
118
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,436
Well, I've been
uncharacteristically quiet
119
00:04:11,436 --> 00:04:13,808
this morning, and I'm sure
you're all wondering why.
120
00:04:13,808 --> 00:04:14,976
- Nope.
- Not at all.
121
00:04:14,976 --> 00:04:15,978
I liked it, actually.
122
00:04:15,978 --> 00:04:17,281
Because it looks like
123
00:04:17,281 --> 00:04:19,753
I'll be spending
yet another Trashmas alone.
124
00:04:19,753 --> 00:04:22,424
"Oh, what about that
hot Shar Pei you were seeing?"
125
00:04:22,424 --> 00:04:24,763
Well, if you must know,
I dumped him.
126
00:04:24,763 --> 00:04:26,900
I mean, sure,
we had white-hot chemistry,
127
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,606
but there was nothing going on
underneath those wrinkles.
128
00:04:29,606 --> 00:04:32,044
It was all, "I don't know.
What do you want to pee on?"
129
00:04:32,044 --> 00:04:32,979
"What do you want to sniff?"
130
00:04:32,979 --> 00:04:36,219
And I'm like, "Take charge.
Regrow a pair."
131
00:04:36,219 --> 00:04:37,655
You're welcome
to come to my place
132
00:04:37,655 --> 00:04:40,528
and rifle through
the Bronson's trash.
133
00:04:40,528 --> 00:04:43,433
[sighs] I'm just
pathetic enough to say yes.
134
00:04:43,433 --> 00:04:45,003
Me too!
I'm pathetic.
135
00:04:45,003 --> 00:04:46,038
Can I come?
136
00:04:46,038 --> 00:04:47,642
Darla won't be there.
137
00:04:47,642 --> 00:04:49,513
We're going through
a rough patch.
138
00:04:49,513 --> 00:04:52,351
Says I don't spend enough time
with the kids.
139
00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:53,787
They're eggs!
140
00:04:53,787 --> 00:04:54,956
[rustling]
- Jill?
141
00:04:54,956 --> 00:04:56,392
Ugh, it's just the mail.
142
00:04:56,392 --> 00:04:57,427
Mail?
both: Mail?
143
00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:59,633
- Finish her!
- She's mine!
144
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:00,535
[scoffs] Dogs.
145
00:05:00,535 --> 00:05:02,237
They have no dignity.
146
00:05:02,237 --> 00:05:04,041
[slurping]
147
00:05:04,576 --> 00:05:07,114
I just want a guy
who knows what he wants.
148
00:05:07,114 --> 00:05:08,751
I know what Darla wants.
149
00:05:08,751 --> 00:05:11,489
For me to share
in the responsibility
150
00:05:11,489 --> 00:05:13,627
of watching
over our egg clutch
151
00:05:13,627 --> 00:05:15,497
so she doesn't have
to sit in the woods
152
00:05:15,598 --> 00:05:18,537
protecting them
from predators all alone?
153
00:05:18,537 --> 00:05:19,639
As if!
154
00:05:19,639 --> 00:05:22,745
Did someone order
a trash kebab?
155
00:05:22,745 --> 00:05:25,250
Well,
look who is finally useful!
156
00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:27,254
Aw, thanks.
157
00:05:27,254 --> 00:05:29,024
Maybe the universe
is telling me
158
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,327
that it's better to be alone
159
00:05:30,327 --> 00:05:33,132
than chase
some nonexistent ideal male.
160
00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:34,335
Like this!
161
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:35,905
See,
this is what I'm talking about.
162
00:05:36,005 --> 00:05:39,278
Madison Avenue creates
these unattainable--
163
00:05:39,278 --> 00:05:42,519
[angelic music]
164
00:05:42,519 --> 00:05:45,223
Oh, my God.
You're the dog from the box.
165
00:05:45,223 --> 00:05:47,394
I'm Robo.
Pet me.
166
00:05:47,394 --> 00:05:49,365
Ooh, so direct.
167
00:05:49,365 --> 00:05:51,803
You know what you want
and just ask for it.
168
00:05:51,904 --> 00:05:52,705
I'm Elsa.
169
00:05:52,705 --> 00:05:55,277
What can Robo do
for you today?
170
00:05:55,277 --> 00:05:57,481
Baby, you're doing it.
171
00:05:57,481 --> 00:06:00,186
[sniffs]
Dear Lord, what is that smell?
172
00:06:00,186 --> 00:06:02,057
Rancid crab dip.
173
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:03,493
It's Darla's favorite.
174
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:06,465
I think we ate it
on our first Trashmas together.
175
00:06:06,465 --> 00:06:08,771
And now I've left
the best stone-cold freak
176
00:06:08,771 --> 00:06:11,442
I've ever known alone
in the woods?
177
00:06:11,442 --> 00:06:14,616
God, what have I done?
178
00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:18,356
Come home. Come home.
Oh, God.
179
00:06:18,356 --> 00:06:19,458
Jill's never gone this long.
180
00:06:19,458 --> 00:06:20,327
Come home.
Come home.
181
00:06:20,327 --> 00:06:22,197
How long
have we been standing watch?
182
00:06:22,197 --> 00:06:23,534
[strained]
A while.
183
00:06:23,534 --> 00:06:25,671
Take off
that stupid Santa beard!
184
00:06:25,671 --> 00:06:27,709
Something terrible
has happened to Jill.
185
00:06:27,709 --> 00:06:30,313
Do you hear
how crazy you sound?
186
00:06:30,313 --> 00:06:32,384
Nothing bad can happen
on Trashmas
187
00:06:32,384 --> 00:06:34,421
because it's the one day
that the Trashsquatch
188
00:06:34,421 --> 00:06:36,425
and his jolly
invisible garbage goblins
189
00:06:36,425 --> 00:06:37,695
protect us all.
190
00:06:37,695 --> 00:06:39,298
Ugh,
I can't with this right now.
191
00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:40,668
No!
192
00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:45,010
Okay, when Jill left,
describe exactly what you saw.
193
00:06:45,010 --> 00:06:47,715
Well, she was laughing
and had one of those boxes
194
00:06:47,715 --> 00:06:50,721
with the wheels and the handle
humans use when they go away.
195
00:06:50,721 --> 00:06:52,692
Okay, she was laughing.
That's good.
196
00:06:52,692 --> 00:06:54,128
Oh, you thought
she was laughing?
197
00:06:54,128 --> 00:06:55,363
I thought she was crying.
198
00:06:55,363 --> 00:06:56,399
I didn't see her!
199
00:06:56,399 --> 00:06:57,635
Oh, yeah.
Me neither.
200
00:06:57,635 --> 00:06:59,739
But she sure got out of here
in a hurry.
201
00:06:59,739 --> 00:07:02,110
And then,
this big guy dressed in black
202
00:07:02,210 --> 00:07:02,912
grabbed her wheely box.
203
00:07:03,046 --> 00:07:04,516
And she said,
"No, no, I got it."
204
00:07:04,516 --> 00:07:05,952
But then,
he took it anyway
205
00:07:05,952 --> 00:07:08,590
and threw them both
in this big, black car.
206
00:07:08,590 --> 00:07:10,493
[gasps]
Jill is never coming back.
207
00:07:10,493 --> 00:07:13,166
And now,
we're home alone!
208
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,936
Aah!
209
00:07:14,936 --> 00:07:17,809
Okay. Okay, I was
where you are at first,
210
00:07:17,809 --> 00:07:20,347
but then I opened my heart
to the spirit of Trash--
211
00:07:20,347 --> 00:07:22,652
Enough!
Trashmas is for puppies!
212
00:07:22,652 --> 00:07:25,256
You're six,
and you need to grow up!
213
00:07:25,256 --> 00:07:27,260
Maybe you need to grow down.
214
00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:28,564
No wonder the Trashsquatch
215
00:07:28,564 --> 00:07:30,534
didn't bring you any garbage
this year.
216
00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:33,741
There is no Trashsquatch!
217
00:07:33,741 --> 00:07:36,713
[gasps]
Who hurt you?
218
00:07:37,882 --> 00:07:39,986
[razor buzzing]
219
00:07:40,086 --> 00:07:42,992
I'm trying something.
What do you think?
220
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,706
Welcome back to
the certain percentage of you
221
00:07:49,706 --> 00:07:53,881
who decided to not spring
for ad-free Hulu
222
00:07:53,881 --> 00:07:58,022
as our cats walked across town
to eat Tabitha's meal
223
00:07:58,022 --> 00:08:01,763
and Elsa came on
to a dog made of steel.
224
00:08:01,763 --> 00:08:05,871
And with Jill's absence harder
for her to explain,
225
00:08:05,871 --> 00:08:09,646
Honey's worry was starting
to drive her insane.
226
00:08:09,646 --> 00:08:11,850
Okay, got to think.
Did Jill have any enemies?
227
00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:13,754
Wait, what am I saying?
Who could hate Jill?
228
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,691
She's pure love
wrapped in rainbows
229
00:08:15,691 --> 00:08:17,595
and a mumu
from Ross Dress for Less.
230
00:08:17,595 --> 00:08:19,031
[car engine stops]
Jill?
231
00:08:19,031 --> 00:08:20,033
[car door opens]
232
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:23,741
This is bad.
233
00:08:23,741 --> 00:08:25,611
Chief!
234
00:08:25,611 --> 00:08:26,880
Go away, intruder!
235
00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:29,652
I have all my teeth
and none of my shots!
236
00:08:29,652 --> 00:08:31,322
[doorknob rattling]
237
00:08:31,322 --> 00:08:32,992
Chief, get over here!
238
00:08:32,992 --> 00:08:34,428
Chief!
239
00:08:34,428 --> 00:08:35,931
Okay, I'll tell you,
240
00:08:35,931 --> 00:08:38,136
but you have to promise
not to judge me.
241
00:08:38,136 --> 00:08:40,473
I've always wanted to learn
how to sniff for drugs.
242
00:08:40,473 --> 00:08:42,244
I mean,
is that crazy?
243
00:08:43,847 --> 00:08:45,483
Thank you for not laughing.
244
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:46,953
God, I really feel like
245
00:08:46,953 --> 00:08:49,559
I can let my guard down
around you.
246
00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:51,128
Scratch my head.
247
00:08:51,128 --> 00:08:52,565
Mm, yes, sir.
248
00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:54,101
God, you know,
it's funny.
249
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:56,973
This morning, before we met,
I had given up on dating.
250
00:08:56,973 --> 00:08:59,679
Just resigned to spend
another holiday all alone.
251
00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:01,550
But are you free--
252
00:09:01,550 --> 00:09:03,620
- We have to go!
- Dang it, Shel.
253
00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:04,923
It was about to get humpy.
254
00:09:04,923 --> 00:09:06,927
The tortoise I love
is alone in the woods
255
00:09:07,027 --> 00:09:09,866
with my nearly born
because I abandoned her.
256
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:11,503
So go get her.
I'm kind of working
257
00:09:11,503 --> 00:09:13,239
on not being alone myself.
258
00:09:13,239 --> 00:09:14,609
Get it, girl.
259
00:09:14,609 --> 00:09:16,880
The thing is,
I haven't visited the clutch
260
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,550
as much as I should have--
261
00:09:18,550 --> 00:09:19,819
or even once--
262
00:09:19,819 --> 00:09:21,923
so I don't know where she is.
263
00:09:21,923 --> 00:09:24,495
I require your dog noses
to track her.
264
00:09:24,495 --> 00:09:25,898
- We'll do it!
- We have to go now
265
00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,802
before the nocturnals wake.
266
00:09:27,802 --> 00:09:29,706
Tortoise eggs are delicious.
267
00:09:29,706 --> 00:09:31,610
Don't ask me how I know.
268
00:09:31,610 --> 00:09:33,446
[sniffs] Ah!
She's three clicks this way.
269
00:09:33,446 --> 00:09:34,883
Let's roll.
We're losing light.
270
00:09:34,883 --> 00:09:37,254
Hey, so, uh,
my friends are taking off.
271
00:09:37,254 --> 00:09:40,561
If you want, you and I
could chase sticks and chill.
272
00:09:40,561 --> 00:09:42,565
- You're my friend.
- Oh.
273
00:09:42,565 --> 00:09:44,669
I see.
Just friends.
274
00:09:44,669 --> 00:09:46,405
- Friends.
- No, I got it!
275
00:09:46,405 --> 00:09:47,675
[chuckles weakly]
276
00:09:47,675 --> 00:09:50,480
Thank you for being honest
and not leading me on...
277
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:52,350
more than you already have.
278
00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:54,254
You're not better than me!
279
00:09:59,097 --> 00:10:00,668
Chief, please help!
280
00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:03,540
Oh, now you want
to play with garbage.
281
00:10:03,540 --> 00:10:04,943
I know you're mad at me,
282
00:10:04,943 --> 00:10:07,447
and you're not my favorite dog
right now either,
283
00:10:07,447 --> 00:10:09,384
but there is an intruder
trying to--
284
00:10:09,384 --> 00:10:10,955
Aah!
- [gasps]
285
00:10:10,955 --> 00:10:14,194
Oh, you get your stinkin' hands
off my Honey,
286
00:10:14,194 --> 00:10:15,898
you damn dirty arm!
287
00:10:15,898 --> 00:10:18,770
[growling]
288
00:10:18,770 --> 00:10:22,945
Honey, we cannot go outside.
It's crawling with arms.
289
00:10:23,814 --> 00:10:24,916
Did you bring anything,
290
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,953
you know, like flowers
or a dead lizard?
291
00:10:26,953 --> 00:10:28,657
I mean,
everything was closed today.
292
00:10:28,657 --> 00:10:29,859
Ow!
- Oh, sorry.
293
00:10:29,859 --> 00:10:31,596
I thought it was a churro.
- Well, it's not.
294
00:10:31,596 --> 00:10:33,065
It's actually--ow!
295
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:34,636
What the hell
is wrong with you?
296
00:10:34,636 --> 00:10:36,005
I have no excuse this time.
297
00:10:36,005 --> 00:10:38,710
I'm just so hun--
[stomach growls]
298
00:10:38,710 --> 00:10:41,583
Why are you in my garage
making gross sounds?
299
00:10:41,583 --> 00:10:44,556
You didn't specify
what time to pop by
300
00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:45,558
when you invited us.
301
00:10:45,558 --> 00:10:46,927
I didn't invite you.
302
00:10:46,927 --> 00:10:49,264
Oh, see,
we thought you did.
303
00:10:49,264 --> 00:10:51,903
But we'll get out of your fur.
No harm, no foul.
304
00:10:51,903 --> 00:10:53,807
No, there's definitely harm.
305
00:10:53,807 --> 00:10:56,111
Why would you brag
about a mountain of food
306
00:10:56,111 --> 00:10:59,853
to two neglected cats
if you weren't inviting us?
307
00:10:59,853 --> 00:11:01,756
I thought it might
be aspirational for you.
308
00:11:01,756 --> 00:11:03,961
Hey.
Hey, these things happen.
309
00:11:03,961 --> 00:11:05,063
It's fine.
310
00:11:05,063 --> 00:11:08,369
[distorted voice]
It's not fine!
311
00:11:08,369 --> 00:11:11,075
[sinister music]
312
00:11:11,075 --> 00:11:14,582
This was going to be
my first real Trashmas,
313
00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:16,586
and you ruined it!
314
00:11:16,586 --> 00:11:17,655
What is happening?
315
00:11:17,655 --> 00:11:19,024
Have you seen him
do this before?
316
00:11:19,024 --> 00:11:21,796
Never, and I don't know much
about his backstory,
317
00:11:21,897 --> 00:11:24,034
you know, apart from him
being rescued as a kitten
318
00:11:24,034 --> 00:11:26,606
from an abandoned military
gamma ray facility.
319
00:11:26,606 --> 00:11:30,046
Tabitha, you are selfish!
320
00:11:30,046 --> 00:11:33,720
Okay, why don't we all
just take a deep--
321
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,258
And you are an enabler!
322
00:11:36,258 --> 00:11:39,064
If that's what you think,
I support you.
323
00:11:39,064 --> 00:11:43,640
Trashmas is about garbage,
food, and friendship.
324
00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,546
This place is clean,
no food,
325
00:11:46,546 --> 00:11:48,717
and you're no friend!
326
00:11:48,717 --> 00:11:51,723
Oh, Chico,
you're scare-rousing me.
327
00:11:51,723 --> 00:11:55,496
Chico smash!
328
00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:57,367
Food!
329
00:11:58,770 --> 00:11:59,739
[car alarm wailing]
330
00:11:59,739 --> 00:12:01,977
It's not not sexy.
331
00:12:03,379 --> 00:12:05,350
[sniffing]
332
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,653
[grunts]
333
00:12:06,653 --> 00:12:08,724
We're close.
Stay frosty.
334
00:12:08,824 --> 00:12:10,728
I hope Darla forgives me,
but--
335
00:12:10,728 --> 00:12:12,364
You're right.
Robo's trash.
336
00:12:12,364 --> 00:12:15,370
Just once, I'd like to find
someone who will chase me.
337
00:12:15,370 --> 00:12:17,775
Play with me.
338
00:12:17,775 --> 00:12:21,015
[romantic music]
339
00:12:21,015 --> 00:12:24,354
♪ ♪
340
00:12:24,354 --> 00:12:26,993
Robo!
My Robo!
341
00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:31,937
[sniffs]
342
00:12:31,937 --> 00:12:33,674
I knew you'd come back to me.
343
00:12:33,674 --> 00:12:35,376
You're my master.
344
00:12:35,376 --> 00:12:39,519
If you're trying to turn me
on, mission accomplished.
345
00:12:39,519 --> 00:12:41,589
How are you so perfect?
346
00:12:41,589 --> 00:12:43,059
I love you.
347
00:12:43,059 --> 00:12:46,265
Uh, that's a little fast.
348
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:49,137
What can Robo do
for you today?
349
00:12:49,137 --> 00:12:53,112
Uh, you can start
by taking it down a notch.
350
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:56,251
Okay, a little space.
351
00:12:58,422 --> 00:12:59,424
Do you see him?
352
00:12:59,424 --> 00:13:01,061
Not an arm in sight.
353
00:13:01,061 --> 00:13:02,898
- We did it!
- We did it! Yeah!
354
00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:05,303
[both gasp]
[footsteps approaching]
355
00:13:05,303 --> 00:13:07,608
Where are those footsteps
coming from?
356
00:13:07,608 --> 00:13:09,946
Here, doggy, doggy, doggies.
357
00:13:09,946 --> 00:13:13,954
[gasps] They're coming
from inside the house!
358
00:13:17,995 --> 00:13:21,302
I pray you're not sick
of this recap device,
359
00:13:21,302 --> 00:13:25,476
but distracted viewing
is a most common vice.
360
00:13:25,476 --> 00:13:27,682
Once charmed from Robo,
361
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:30,386
Elsa now found him cheesy.
362
00:13:30,386 --> 00:13:34,461
Shel worried his kids
might be eggs over easy.
363
00:13:34,562 --> 00:13:39,004
The unwelcomed stranger
kept sneakin' and skulkin',
364
00:13:39,004 --> 00:13:42,745
so Honey and Chief
went totally Culkin.
365
00:13:42,745 --> 00:13:44,549
- Pull it tighter!
- Shh!
366
00:13:44,549 --> 00:13:45,551
[grunts]
367
00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:47,922
- And...
- Go!
368
00:13:47,922 --> 00:13:49,892
[all grunting]
369
00:13:49,892 --> 00:13:51,529
- Whoo-hoo!
- Ha ha ha!
370
00:13:51,529 --> 00:13:53,967
Ha?
both: Aah!
371
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,637
There's an intruder
in the house!
372
00:13:55,637 --> 00:13:57,240
And we need your hands!
373
00:13:57,340 --> 00:13:58,710
It's go-time, boys.
374
00:13:58,710 --> 00:14:01,448
You look amazing.
375
00:14:02,585 --> 00:14:04,154
[sniffing]
376
00:14:04,154 --> 00:14:06,726
- Scratch my head.
- Maybe later.
377
00:14:06,726 --> 00:14:08,295
Rub my belly.
378
00:14:08,295 --> 00:14:11,402
Has it ever occurred to you
that I might have needs too?
379
00:14:11,402 --> 00:14:12,170
Of course not!
380
00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:14,809
- I love you.
- Just stop it.
381
00:14:14,809 --> 00:14:16,445
You don't love me.
382
00:14:16,445 --> 00:14:19,117
You love the idea of me.
383
00:14:19,117 --> 00:14:20,086
[sighs]
384
00:14:20,086 --> 00:14:22,892
I hate myself
when I'm with you.
385
00:14:23,660 --> 00:14:25,196
Uh, look, Cheeks,
386
00:14:25,196 --> 00:14:28,369
based on the way
you flipped over a minivan,
387
00:14:28,369 --> 00:14:30,173
I know you're hungry,
but I can't promise
388
00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:32,444
there's gonna be
a lot of food left.
389
00:14:32,444 --> 00:14:33,980
[growls]
390
00:14:33,980 --> 00:14:36,051
[dramatic music]
391
00:14:36,151 --> 00:14:38,790
[both gasp]
all: ♪ Hallelujah ♪
392
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:40,894
♪ Hallelujah ♪
393
00:14:40,894 --> 00:14:43,600
♪ Hallelujah,
Hallelujah ♪
394
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,773
- It's a Trashmas miracle!
- It's a Trashmas miracle!
395
00:14:46,773 --> 00:14:48,375
Actually,
it's not a miracle.
396
00:14:48,375 --> 00:14:51,014
The neighbors just gave
our lady all their leftovers
397
00:14:51,014 --> 00:14:52,183
to assuage their guilt
398
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:54,154
when they finally
condemn this place.
399
00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:56,425
Not now,
The Actually One.
400
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,972
- [sighs contentedly]
- I casually sauntered here
401
00:15:02,972 --> 00:15:04,074
as fast as I could.
402
00:15:04,074 --> 00:15:06,145
I've reflected on my actions,
403
00:15:06,145 --> 00:15:07,982
and I have found them wanting.
404
00:15:07,982 --> 00:15:10,621
- A-plus apology.
- I didn't hear an apology.
405
00:15:10,621 --> 00:15:12,892
I am... sorry.
406
00:15:12,892 --> 00:15:15,864
[gasps]
That's the Trashmas miracle!
407
00:15:15,864 --> 00:15:17,100
- Actually--
- Ugh!
408
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,505
I swear to God,
The Actually One!
409
00:15:19,505 --> 00:15:21,843
Guys, now that my blood/ham
ratio is stabilized,
410
00:15:21,843 --> 00:15:23,245
I want to say I'm sorry.
411
00:15:23,245 --> 00:15:25,483
That thing I became wasn't me.
412
00:15:25,483 --> 00:15:29,759
Well, whoever he was,
does he still want to smash?
413
00:15:29,759 --> 00:15:32,163
[ominous music]
414
00:15:32,163 --> 00:15:36,438
♪ ♪
415
00:15:36,438 --> 00:15:37,440
[grunts]
416
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:38,175
Do you give up,
417
00:15:38,175 --> 00:15:40,647
or are you thirsty for more?
418
00:15:40,747 --> 00:15:43,018
[groans]
[both growl]
419
00:15:43,018 --> 00:15:45,691
A little tinkle,
tinkle, tinkle.
420
00:15:48,028 --> 00:15:50,133
[groans]
It burns!
421
00:15:50,133 --> 00:15:52,403
Yeah, you should
probably get that checked.
422
00:15:52,505 --> 00:15:53,405
[grunts]
423
00:15:59,785 --> 00:16:02,625
[groans]
424
00:16:04,562 --> 00:16:07,200
[all scream]
425
00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:10,239
[both gasp]
- Too much?
426
00:16:10,239 --> 00:16:12,377
And even though
I have to end this,
427
00:16:12,377 --> 00:16:14,181
I want you to know
I don't regret
428
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,285
a single second
of the time we shared,
429
00:16:16,285 --> 00:16:19,157
and I'll always hold
a piece of you in my heart.
430
00:16:19,157 --> 00:16:21,361
We just want different--
- Pet me.
431
00:16:21,361 --> 00:16:23,165
And this is
what I'm talking about.
432
00:16:23,165 --> 00:16:26,873
[powering down]
- I love...
433
00:16:26,873 --> 00:16:29,177
you.
434
00:16:29,979 --> 00:16:31,448
Robo?
435
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:32,183
Robo!
436
00:16:32,183 --> 00:16:34,087
I literally broke his heart!
437
00:16:34,087 --> 00:16:36,258
Don't you die on me!
438
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,830
[panting]
439
00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:39,799
Breathe, damn it!
440
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,034
Don't leave me like this!
441
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:42,505
It's too soon!
442
00:16:42,505 --> 00:16:45,009
You know her better
than I do.
443
00:16:45,009 --> 00:16:46,311
How long do you think--
444
00:16:46,311 --> 00:16:47,948
Yeah, she's gonna milk this
for a while.
445
00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:48,917
We should skedaddle.
446
00:16:48,917 --> 00:16:52,090
Take me instead!
447
00:16:52,591 --> 00:16:55,597
We'll only get one shot,
so we have to be perfect.
448
00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:58,269
Can I just say that
you're really good at this?
449
00:16:58,269 --> 00:17:01,910
Aw, thanks.
You got some killer in you too.
450
00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:03,880
Because
we have time for this!
451
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,216
Okay, on my signal,
452
00:17:05,216 --> 00:17:07,253
Honey will go to the kitchen
and start barking.
453
00:17:07,253 --> 00:17:09,257
He'll avoid her, move
to the front of the house
454
00:17:09,257 --> 00:17:11,461
and into the living room,
where it'll be dark
455
00:17:11,461 --> 00:17:13,533
because Raccoon
will break all the lamps.
456
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,504
This fill force him
to walk through a minefield
457
00:17:15,504 --> 00:17:17,975
of
my strategically placed poops.
458
00:17:17,975 --> 00:17:20,647
The three of us
will then meet here.
459
00:17:20,647 --> 00:17:21,549
[chuckles]
460
00:17:21,549 --> 00:17:22,985
[all gasp]
- [grunts]
461
00:17:22,985 --> 00:17:25,289
This works too.
[all growl]
462
00:17:25,389 --> 00:17:27,360
[screams]
463
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,765
[both barking]
464
00:17:31,603 --> 00:17:33,773
That's it!
Run away!
465
00:17:34,842 --> 00:17:37,548
[all cheer]
466
00:17:37,548 --> 00:17:40,419
Oh, I've never felt so alive!
What's next?
467
00:17:40,419 --> 00:17:42,625
Oh, I know.
Let's rob a bank!
468
00:17:42,625 --> 00:17:44,294
Yeah--no.
469
00:17:44,294 --> 00:17:46,866
Godspeed,
beautiful traveler.
470
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,904
I'll never forget you, Bobo.
471
00:17:48,904 --> 00:17:52,410
Robo.
Sorry, I've had a day.
472
00:17:52,410 --> 00:17:55,216
Hey, I didn't mean
to trash your love of Trashmas.
473
00:17:55,216 --> 00:17:56,485
Don't know when it happened,
474
00:17:56,485 --> 00:17:58,823
but I think
I lost my inner puppy.
475
00:17:58,823 --> 00:18:00,326
No, you were right.
476
00:18:00,326 --> 00:18:02,731
Trashmas is just a story
for the young ones.
477
00:18:02,731 --> 00:18:05,236
I do need to grow--
[gasps]
478
00:18:05,236 --> 00:18:07,608
It's a Trashmas miracle.
479
00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:08,877
[giggles]
480
00:18:08,877 --> 00:18:11,248
Thank you, Trashsquatch!
481
00:18:11,248 --> 00:18:14,487
You do realize
that we were the ones who--
482
00:18:14,487 --> 00:18:17,995
who just missed
seeing the Trashsquatch!
483
00:18:17,995 --> 00:18:19,632
Hey, want to make
garbage angels?
484
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:22,437
Do I?
[both laughing]
485
00:18:25,009 --> 00:18:27,948
[gentle music]
486
00:18:27,948 --> 00:18:32,023
♪ ♪
487
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:33,158
[sighs]
488
00:18:33,158 --> 00:18:36,031
If even gross animals
can find love,
489
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:38,035
maybe there is hope
for me someday.
490
00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:40,641
Elsa!
[panting]
491
00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,410
You found us.
- Yeah.
492
00:18:42,410 --> 00:18:44,014
Thanks for peeing so much.
493
00:18:44,014 --> 00:18:45,784
Elsa, just in time.
494
00:18:45,784 --> 00:18:47,053
It's happening!
495
00:18:47,053 --> 00:18:49,324
It's a Trashmas miracle.
496
00:18:49,424 --> 00:18:50,359
Mm.
497
00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:51,796
Aw.
498
00:18:51,796 --> 00:18:55,303
[chittering]
499
00:18:59,311 --> 00:19:00,847
They're beautiful...
500
00:19:00,947 --> 00:19:03,385
and delicious,
but mostly beautiful.
501
00:19:03,385 --> 00:19:06,258
[giggling]
Oh, that tickles.
502
00:19:06,258 --> 00:19:08,062
Oh!
[chittering]
503
00:19:08,062 --> 00:19:11,536
Oh, I forgot those were fake.
504
00:19:12,938 --> 00:19:14,240
Oh, hey, little guy.
505
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,111
Oh, you want
your head scratched?
506
00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:18,616
- [chitters]
- Robo?
507
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:22,056
It's you!
Your spirit came back to me!
508
00:19:22,056 --> 00:19:24,394
Aw, Robo.
509
00:19:24,394 --> 00:19:27,701
Why is that dog
hitting on my daughter?
510
00:19:32,911 --> 00:19:33,546
[vibrator buzzing]
511
00:19:33,646 --> 00:19:35,851
- You're an artist.
- Thanks.
512
00:19:35,851 --> 00:19:36,753
What's wrong?
513
00:19:36,853 --> 00:19:39,257
I'm still kind of worried
about Jill.
514
00:19:39,257 --> 00:19:41,128
Honey,
I promise you two things:
515
00:19:41,128 --> 00:19:42,664
one,
Jill is gonna be home soon,
516
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:46,572
and two, she's gonna
be overjoyed to see us.
517
00:19:46,672 --> 00:19:48,810
- What did you do?
- You were half-right.
518
00:19:48,810 --> 00:19:51,582
And you've been permanently
banned from the Wagger app!
519
00:19:51,582 --> 00:19:55,122
I mean, look at this place.
Why would you do this?
520
00:19:55,122 --> 00:19:57,060
[both whimper]
521
00:19:57,060 --> 00:19:59,197
Oh, no.
I did this.
522
00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:03,072
- No, we did--
- Shh, let's play this out.
523
00:20:03,072 --> 00:20:05,242
You never cause
this much damage
524
00:20:05,342 --> 00:20:07,815
unless you're horribly upset.
525
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:09,117
And why wouldn't you be?
526
00:20:09,117 --> 00:20:11,254
I left without saying goodbye
527
00:20:11,254 --> 00:20:13,258
only to be catfished
by a 14-year-old
528
00:20:13,258 --> 00:20:14,494
in Hacienda Heights.
529
00:20:14,494 --> 00:20:17,200
I'm so sorry.
[sobbing]
530
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,903
Come here.
Come here.
531
00:20:18,903 --> 00:20:24,414
I promise I'll never abandon
you at Christmastime again.
532
00:20:24,414 --> 00:20:26,819
- What's Christmastime?
- I don't know.
533
00:20:26,919 --> 00:20:28,523
There was trash everywhere--
534
00:20:28,523 --> 00:20:31,061
women's razors and men's,
535
00:20:31,061 --> 00:20:32,965
bottle and briskets,
536
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:34,935
an old man's Depends.
537
00:20:34,935 --> 00:20:38,142
But our animals learned
one true thing in the end:
538
00:20:38,142 --> 00:20:40,881
the best kind of garbage
to find
539
00:20:40,881 --> 00:20:42,618
is good friends.
540
00:20:42,618 --> 00:20:46,324
That's all I've got.
You've heard my whole spiel.
541
00:20:46,324 --> 00:20:48,328
A merry Trashmas to all.
542
00:20:48,328 --> 00:20:50,332
And hells yeah I'm real.
543
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:53,038
♪ I'm dreamin' ♪
544
00:20:53,038 --> 00:20:56,712
♪ Of a white Christmas ♪
545
00:21:00,186 --> 00:21:02,123
Mm, yeah.
546
00:21:02,123 --> 00:21:05,496
[humming]
547
00:21:21,261 --> 00:21:22,798
[chuckles]
548
00:21:22,798 --> 00:21:23,867
[squeals]
549
00:21:25,236 --> 00:21:26,271
Oh.
550
00:21:26,371 --> 00:21:29,410
[humming]
551
00:21:29,410 --> 00:21:32,518
Eh--aah!
- Aah!
552
00:21:34,722 --> 00:21:36,024
[cheering]
553
00:21:37,093 --> 00:21:38,061
That's nice,
Jen and Gabby.
554
00:21:38,111 --> 00:21:42,661
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