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1
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DAVID: Sure, yeah.
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Coffee, toast, banana...
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MICHAEL: Ahh... Nothing.
4
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You should have breakfast.
5
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Should I?
I have breakfast.
6
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,640
Ah, but you're providing for
a whole family of tapeworms.
7
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Why?
Just helps with the segue, I think.
8
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It's all pretty straightforward,
isn't it? Yeah.
9
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We agreed to do series three,
Michael bought a pram.
10
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We filmed episode one,
Michael filled his pram with toys.
11
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We nearly filmed episode two
12
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and Michael threw his toys
out of the pram.
13
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And now we're here.
Now we're here.
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Can I have a quick chat with you?
Sure.
15
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,640
Can you not say that?
What?
16
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:00,960
About the pram and the toys.
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You don't wanna talk about
storming off?
18
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I didn't storm off.
19
00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,960
Well, I think you did.
No.
20
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:11,960
Look, I'm happy to talk about
deciding to do a third series.
21
00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:14,480
I'm happy to talk about
filming two episodes.
22
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,960
I think we have to talk about
the storming off. Why?
23
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Cos that's why
the whole thing fell apart.
24
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It's not the only reason.
I mean, I think it is.
25
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We didn't wanna do it from the
start, we didn't like the scripts.
26
00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:24,960
We could have fixed the scripts.
27
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:27,960
I was tired of fixing Simon's
bullet points on the fly.
28
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Well...
29
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I don't care.
30
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:36,960
Look, it was forgivable when
Simon only had days to write it,
31
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but he's had fucking months.
32
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It's not our job to improvise
our way out of bad writing.
33
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:44,960
I think we still have to... We still
have to talk about the storming off.
34
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:46,960
Simon left...
Because you stormed off!
35
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:48,960
Right, I don't wanna talk about it,
OK? OK, we won't talk about it.
36
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:56,960
There is an image out there
of me as an angry person.
37
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,960
No!
Yes, yes, there is.
38
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,960
No, you're someone
in touch with your emotions.
39
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,160
Yeah, that's true.
40
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,960
Sometimes it seems like
you're angry at your emotions.
41
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,800
I'm not an angry person.
Maybe it's your diet.
42
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:10,960
This show makes me an angry person.
You should have breakfast.
43
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,960
I meditate...
Hm.
44
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,640
I chant.
45
00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:16,960
When things are really bad,
I make model ships.
46
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I know, I've seen them.
47
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They're not good.
You used too much glue.
48
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I wanna quell the image, all right?
And...
49
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:24,960
stories about me
storming off the set don't help,
50
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and talking about stories of me
storming off the set
51
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just make me angrier.
52
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,960
You're overreacting, it's fine.
Am I?
53
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Yeah, people do not think you're
angry because you stormed off.
54
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No?
55
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:38,160
No, they think you're angry because
of who you are and the way you act.
56
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,960
Do you know, you can be really
immature when it comes to
57
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,960
conversational tact.
It's gonna be fine.
58
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I don't wanna talk about it.
We won't talk about it.
59
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,960
Promise?
It's OK, we won't.
60
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Come on, it's OK.
61
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Fine, absolutely fine.
Yes, of course.
62
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,960
OK. Sorry.
63
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,320
Very good.
Ready to go.
64
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,960
Michael's anger management issues.
65
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:28,960
I'm supposed to be in Tokyo.
Right.
66
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,960
That's in English.
Yes.
67
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,960
That might be a problem.
68
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:36,160
Do you think anyone will notice?
69
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,960
I mean, when you got it,
did you notice?
70
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:45,160
I didn't know I was in Tokyo
cos I hadn't read the script. Right.
71
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:46,960
Well, that's good.
72
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,960
Aren't you in charge of, like,
this stuff?
73
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,960
I mean, Mum just told me to set up
the cameras so I don't know
74
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:57,960
if signs with Japanese on them
is my forte.
75
00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:01,960
We put cameras everywhere.
Shall I...?
76
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,160
I can show you some.
We still have some in the, um...
77
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:09,960
Yeah, there's one in here.
78
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,960
Goes in there.
79
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,960
Shed and then trampoline.
80
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:21,960
I do accept the possibility that
I got a little carried away.
81
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,960
It was a small thing at first.
82
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:27,960
A short "making of" to accompany
series three. Georgia was in charge.
83
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:30,960
We'd done two,
there was talk of a third
84
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:34,960
and we knew we wouldn't do a fourth,
so...
85
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:39,640
I wanted to memorialise it.
So you put cameras everywhere? Hm.
86
00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,960
David is unpredictable,
chaotic, even...
87
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:47,000
He picks things up
and then he puts them down.
88
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,960
Sometimes he cocoons.
89
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,960
I didn't want to miss anything.
90
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,000
When production shut down,
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00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:57,960
it was decided to make something out
of George's footage to finish off.
92
00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:58,960
Were you disappointed?
93
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,960
Actually, I don't like who
Michael is when he makes the show.
94
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:03,800
Who is he?
95
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,160
Yes, I will, I'll get them down now.
96
00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:08,000
Simon, this whole thing of
trying to pretend it's Christmas
97
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,960
is just getting ridiculous.
It's the middle of bloody summer.
98
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:15,960
I'm having to put blankets...
and my dressing gown is up there,
99
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it's nailed to the wall,
100
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:20,960
to try and keep the incredibly
bright summer sunshine out.
101
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,160
Michael is not an angry person,
102
00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:25,960
but when he has to play
that character
103
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,960
and spend days with Simon...
104
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:31,960
And let's cut... there.
105
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,800
SHOUTING: Give me a sign, Lord.
106
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,960
Why do you blight me
with this idiot?
107
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Is it something I've done?
108
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Is it me?
109
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It's not me, is it?
It's not me, it's him!
110
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:47,960
That can't have been easy.
It never has been. Never has been.
111
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,960
It has its challenges.
112
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,960
But they agreed
to do a third series. Why?
113
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:57,960
Well...
114
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,960
DAVID ON PHONE: 'Episode one
doesn't make any sense.'
115
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,160
MICHAEL ON PHONE:
'Why did he set it at Christmas?'
116
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:15,480
'Why am I in Japan?'
'Are you going to Japan?'
117
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:16,960
'Not as far as I know, no.'
118
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,160
'Did he only send you one and two?'
119
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,960
'He's only written one and two.'
120
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,960
'I mean, does he know
where it's going?'
121
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,800
'Oh, I mean, who the fuck knows?'
122
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,960
'Oh, I don't wanna do it.'
'I don't wanna do either.'
123
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EXHALES
124
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,960
How can it be busy and lifeless?
125
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,960
'He told Georgia that
he wants to try something new.'
126
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,960
Is the second episode a farce?
127
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:40,960
I mean, plot contrivance has
never been a missing ingredient...
128
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,960
I mean, there's not enough room
for us to play.
129
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:46,000
Exactly, yes.
Where's all the rat-a-tat-tat?
130
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,960
Yeah and the,
"Knock, knock. Come on in."
131
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,960
And is there too much Simon?
132
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,960
Jesus... There's way too much Simon.
133
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,960
Where are you supposed to get
a Christmas tree from in June?
134
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:56,960
Where were you getting a kimono?
135
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,800
I have a kimono, actually.
Oh, do you?
136
00:06:58,800 --> 00:06:59,960
It shrunk in the wash, though.
137
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:02,320
Mm, does your katana poke out?
138
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:04,960
I don't wanna do it.
139
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,320
No, I don't wanna do it either.
140
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:08,960
HE SIGHS
141
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,960
We should tell Anna and Georgia.
142
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:15,960
Are you phoning from the lavatory?
143
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,960
I only did that once.
144
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,960
There's a certain acoustic.
145
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,960
'I'm in the car.'
Prove it.
146
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,320
I'm not in the toilet.
147
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,960
Sound the horn.
'My neighbour has a weak heart.'
148
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,640
Put the radio on.
149
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:30,960
Oh, for...
150
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,000
RADIO PLAYS
There, happy now?
151
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,960
Hm...
152
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,960
They've set up cameras inside.
153
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,960
I know.
I'm hiding upstairs in the loft.
154
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,960
'Oh, there's no cameras in there?'
Georgia forgot about it.
155
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:48,960
Oh.
156
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,960
I come out here to read.
157
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:52,960
Ooh, I can't read in the car.
158
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,960
I can't drive in bookshops.
159
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,960
Did they put cameras in the car?
160
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,000
No. Anna told them not to.
161
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,960
Hm, nice.
162
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,960
Nice to have a little privacy.
163
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,960
Yeah. I don't like strangers
being in my house.
164
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,960
Haven't you got Ty coming later
to finish installing the cameras?
165
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,960
Yeah, this afternoon.
Oh, I, er, I called Lily too.
166
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:11,960
From the car?
167
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,960
Yeah, well, the seats are warm.
168
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,960
Ah. How is she?
169
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,960
I try not to give advice.
170
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,960
She did that big film
with Nicolas Cage, right? Hm.
171
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,960
Is there a word for jealousy
mixed with pride?
172
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,960
Parenthood.
Hm.
173
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,480
DAVID ON RADIO: '..a better
interest rate for your mortgage,
174
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,960
'or help you repay
your current mortgage...'
175
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:32,960
TURNS VOLUME UP
176
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,960
'..is the first choice
for impartial advice...'
177
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,000
When did you do that?
'So check us out...'
178
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,960
Er... Oh. A couple of weeks ago?
179
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,960
RADIO: 'You can't borrow
my barbecue!' They asked us both.
180
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,960
That...
You said you didn't wanna do it.
181
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,480
No, WE said WE didn't wanna do it.
182
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,960
Well, I approve of those mortgages.
183
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:51,960
Do you prefer working on your own?
184
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:54,320
No!
Then why did you do it?
185
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,960
I don't like to say no to people.
186
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,960
Hence your professional ubiquity.
187
00:08:58,960 --> 00:08:59,960
It's an act of generosity.
188
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,480
And number of children.
Oh!
189
00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:03,960
Georgia's gonna be raging.
190
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,960
She's all set up downstairs
with the camera person.
191
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:06,960
'That is her fault.
192
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,960
'You should've told her
she shouldn't have jumped the gun.'
193
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,640
I admire your courage
saying that from 200 miles away.
194
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:12,960
I'm not scared of her.
195
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,320
You're literally in a getaway car.
196
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,960
Cameramen intimidate me.
197
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:19,960
Well, any technician, actually.
198
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:20,960
Really? Why?
199
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:24,960
They know things I don't.
I undo screws with a butter knife
200
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:25,960
and they can sense it.
201
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,960
Hm.
David?
202
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,320
Oh!
Right.
203
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,000
You should let her know.
What, now?
204
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,000
'Yes. You tell Georgia,
I'll tell Anna.'
205
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,960
Is Anna gonna be angry?
No!
206
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,960
Then it's not a fair comparison.
207
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,960
Georgia's not a scary person!
208
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,320
Georgia has never once
asked for help opening a jar.
209
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:42,960
The longer you leave it...
210
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:43,960
OK, I'll do it now.
211
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,160
Thank you.
212
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,960
He wrote you as snarky.
213
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,960
Simon?
214
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,960
In episodes one and two. Didn't he?
He wrote us not getting on.
215
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,960
We never get on.
Oh, come on!
216
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:57,960
We disagree about things,
we always get on!
217
00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:58,960
He wrote you sad.
218
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,640
Well, we're not doing it.
219
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,960
Simon writes what he sees.
220
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,960
You tell Georgia, I'll tell Anna.
221
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:07,960
Promise?
222
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,640
OK, I promise.
223
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:14,960
Right.
224
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:15,960
Good.
225
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:22,320
DAVID MUTTERS
226
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:50,960
PHONE BUZZES
227
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:57,960
TEXT ALERT
228
00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,000
Oh!
229
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,000
Oh, it's Michael.
230
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,960
What has he got to...
231
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,800
"Has David told you
we're not doing series three yet?"
232
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,640
Oh!
233
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,800
Episode one doesn't make any sense.
234
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:20,960
Well, that's ridiculous.
235
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:21,960
Why has he set it at Christmas?
236
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,960
Because it's a Christmas special.
237
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:25,960
Is it?
238
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:26,960
Wh...
239
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,960
Michael goes to buy
a Christmas tree.
240
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,160
Yeah, but he's idiosyncratic.
241
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:33,960
You're flying home for Christmas.
242
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:37,960
Oh! Oh, I didn't get that at all.
243
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,960
Well, we finish
on A Christmas Carol.
244
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,960
Right. Yeah. No, it makes sense now.
245
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:44,960
Episode two's a farce.
So?
246
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,960
Doesn't give us any room to play.
247
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:48,960
You'll have to learn your lines,
won't you?
248
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,320
Michael doesn't wanna do it.
249
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:52,960
Right, OK.
250
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,000
And what-what about you?
251
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,960
Yeah, I don't wanna do it either.
252
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:02,960
We said we would do it
if it was different and/or good,
253
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,000
and it's neither, so...
254
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,160
OK.
255
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,480
Is it OK?
Well, I can't make you do it, can I?
256
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,960
Ty?
Yeah?
257
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:19,960
Stand down.
258
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:21,320
We're not going to Wales.
259
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,320
Right. Sorry, everyone.
260
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,960
It's fine.
261
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:35,960
Ty?
Yeah?
262
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,960
You're going to Wales.
263
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,160
David?
264
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:40,960
You need to come and listen to this.
265
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,960
And this is
what you need to tell Michael.
266
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,960
Usually you wanna catch
any mix-ups early,
267
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:50,480
otherwise it spirals out of control,
like a forest fire.
268
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:53,960
Everything's fine and then
you take your eyes off for a second
269
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,320
and it's racing between the trees
and scaring the squirrels.
270
00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,960
I'm not proud of what I did,
271
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:03,960
but sometimes
it can help to fan the flames.
272
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:05,960
Let the squirrels burn.
273
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,960
BIRDSONG
274
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,160
MOOING
275
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,640
Anna?
276
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:13,960
Michael.
277
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,960
Jesus! Ty!
278
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,640
When did you...
279
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:18,960
Just now.
Oh, right.
280
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:20,960
You were setting up, were you?
Yeah.
281
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,000
Mum wanted a few options,
282
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:26,960
so got one here, one behind you
283
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:27,960
and one over there.
284
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:31,960
Right. Well, thanks for coming.
285
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:37,000
I know it's a bit of a...
um, schlep.
286
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,960
It's fine.
287
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,960
Cameramen intimidate me.
OK.
288
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,320
Well, all technicians, actually.
289
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,960
They know things I don't.
290
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:50,800
Like what?
291
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:54,960
Erm... Types of screwdriver.
I use a butter knife.
292
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,960
That's a cheese knife.
293
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,960
Can I ask your advice?
294
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,000
Sure.
It's about David... Dad.
295
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,640
Your dad. Your David.
296
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:07,960
Just... Dad.
Dad.
297
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:11,160
MAN: 'Michael, just in the car...
talking to Josh.
298
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:15,480
'He doesn't need you... David.
He'd be happy just one...'
299
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:16,640
HOOTING
300
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,960
Do you wanna do it
without David? My dad?
301
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,960
I think he might do it without me.
Why?
302
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:26,960
It's what he does.
303
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,800
When?
304
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,960
Radio adverts for mortgages.
305
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:34,960
Do you want to be doing
radio adverts for mortgages?
306
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:35,960
Fuck, no.
307
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,960
Do you wanna do series three?
308
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,960
Will "Dad" do it without me?
309
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:44,960
You know Dad.
310
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,960
Hello, er, it's Michael Sheen here
for Josh Drury.
311
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:08,960
Could you give me a call
when you get a minute?
312
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,960
Thanks very much. Bye!
313
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:17,800
Feel better?
No.
314
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,960
Can I get a cup of tea?
Yeah.
315
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,960
Do you really think they'd do it
with just one of us?
316
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,960
No.
317
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,960
No?
318
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,640
But...
What?
319
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,960
What if he got sent
the same message?
320
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,800
What did Michael's message say?
321
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:40,960
It said...
322
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:41,960
CLEARS HER THROAT
323
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,960
"Has David told you yet that
we are not doing series three?"
324
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,960
He's checking we're not doing it
so he can do it on his own.
325
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,960
No!
No?
326
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,000
Although...
What?
327
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,960
No, you said you didn't wanna do it!
Yeah, but that was before.
328
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,960
Before what? Before he found out
I did a mortgage advert.
329
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,960
What, and he got envious?
He thinks I do things without him.
330
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:02,960
Well, you do do things without him.
So he wants to do this without me?
331
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,000
Do you really think they'll be able
to do it with just one of you?
332
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,960
No. No.
Maybe.
333
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,480
Why would they pick Michael?
334
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:10,960
He's got a child to feed.
335
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:12,960
Well, you've got several hundred
of 'em.
336
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:14,800
His is newer.
Hm.
337
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,960
BUZZING
Shit! It's the broadcaster.
338
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:18,960
CLEARS HER THROAT
339
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,960
Hi, Josh.
'Hi!'
340
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,960
Hi. You're on with David and I.
Hello, Josh. 'Hi.'
341
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,960
I-I know that we owe you an update.
342
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:27,960
'Have you had the scripts
from Simon?
343
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,960
'I had a missed call from Michael.
Was he calling to confirm?'
344
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,800
Did you call him back?
'He didn't pick up.
345
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,960
'Is there news?'
What are you doing?
346
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,960
That's it. That's it. Michael...
Michael wants to do it without me.
347
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,960
You still don't want to do it.
348
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,960
I don't want him doing it either.
349
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,960
OK, right, let's just calm down,
we'll just take a breather
350
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,640
and we will play it out
in your head.
351
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:47,960
When has that ever worked out
for me?
352
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:48,960
That's an excellent point.
353
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,960
We'll call Michael right now, let's
do it in the bathroom. Come on. OK.
354
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,320
AMBIENT MUSIC PLAYS
355
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,960
You OK out here?
Fine.
356
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:13,160
I don't know if this is
the best place for solvent glues.
357
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,960
Well, I'm waiting
for the broadcasters to call.
358
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:20,000
They haven't phoned back?
Er... I missed a call.
359
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,960
Why?
I had glue on my hand!
360
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:24,960
Georgia's on the phone.
361
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:28,960
Do you know how many adverts David
has done without me? No.
362
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,960
Are you gonna come out of this car?
Not for a bit.
363
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,960
HE TURNS MUSIC OFF
364
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:38,960
Hi, Georgia.
365
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,960
Do you know how many adverts
your husband has done without me?
366
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,960
'Um, no.
367
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:45,960
'Are you planning on doing
a third series without him?'
368
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,960
I don't wanna do a third series.
369
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,960
'I don't wanna do it, either.'
370
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:51,960
Well, I don't believe you.
371
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,800
Why would I wanna do it?
372
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,960
Because A, you're pathologically
incapable of saying no,
373
00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:00,960
B, it's the only thing you've done
in years that's any good, and C,
374
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,960
Georgia doesn't need you
to open jars.
375
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,960
What have jars got to do with it?
He's afraid that you'll be angry
376
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,960
when he loses you
a best documentary Oscar.
377
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:09,960
Are you in the car again?
378
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,320
Are you in the airing cupboard?
379
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:13,960
No, we're hiding in the shower.
380
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,640
Why did you call the BBC?
381
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,960
How did you hear about that?
382
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,960
'From Josh.'
383
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,960
And why were you talking to Josh?
384
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,960
Why were YOU talking to Josh?
That's the question.
385
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,960
That's the question
I'm putting to you.
386
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,960
No, that's my question to you.
387
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,960
Were you telling him you want
to do series three?
388
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:31,960
I don't want to do it!
389
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,960
I don't believe you.
390
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,960
Episode one makes no sense.
391
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,960
It's a Christmas special.
392
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:40,960
It's June!
393
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:41,960
QUIETLY: It is June.
394
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,320
It won't be when it goes out.
395
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,960
Well, it won't be when it goes out.
396
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,800
Yeah, well,
the second episode is a farce.
397
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:51,000
And yet you're the one checking that
we're not doing it together?
398
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,000
Yes. And that's so that
you can do it on your own? Really?
399
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,960
I mean, what is it, Michael?
Is it envy?
400
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,160
What do you think I'm envious of?
401
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,960
Well, me, obviously, and
one tiny little mortgage commercial
402
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:03,960
that I dared to do without you.
403
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,960
ONE mortgage commercial?!
404
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:07,960
'Yep.'
405
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,960
ONE mortgage commercial?!
406
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,640
There's no need to be so angry.
407
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,480
Well, there's a lot of glue in here.
408
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,960
'I was me before we were us.'
409
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,960
I-I was me before you were you.
410
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,960
What does that mean?
411
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,160
That I'm older.
412
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,960
ADVERTS PLAY
WITH DAVID'S VOICE
413
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,640
'Growing family? Annoying neighbour?
414
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:29,960
'Do you want to make
your own Easter eggs?
415
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,960
'Are you thinking of moving house?
416
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,960
'Looking for second hand pets?
417
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,960
'In a world where bees are best...
418
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:37,960
'..Dental care...
419
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,960
'Smile, it's not that bad!'
420
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,000
I approve of all those products.
421
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:47,640
Well, guess what? I've had enough.
Enough of what?
422
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,960
I don't wanna do series three.
I don't wanna do it either.
423
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,960
And I'm sure as hell not gonna let
you do something without me again!
424
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,640
I am not gonna do it.
Well, I can't take that risk.
425
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:56,960
What, so you're gonna do it?
426
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,800
Yep.
427
00:20:58,800 --> 00:20:59,960
Well, then, so am I!
428
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,960
I'm not happy about it.
I'm furious!
429
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,480
Look forward to collaborating.
430
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,960
Oh, let's make something
really special (!)
431
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:15,960
Well, it's good to know
we don't need Simon
432
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,960
to bring chaos into our lives.
433
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:21,960
Georgia can do that, too. And get
the results she needs from it.
434
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,000
Ooh!
435
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,960
I'm me. I'm me.
436
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,960
I think I have abandonment issues.
437
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,480
Is this about your summer
as a pantomime horse?
438
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:40,960
I've been abandoned many times
professionally.
439
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:42,960
Is this the story about your summer
as a pantomime horse?
440
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:46,960
It always winds up heralding great
good fortune for the abandoner.
441
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:47,960
Oh, well, that sounds promising.
442
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,960
Billie Piper leaves,
goes on and wins an Olivier award,
443
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:51,960
I've never won an Olivier award.
444
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,960
Olivia Colman leaves, goes on,
wins an Oscar.
445
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:55,960
That is compelling evidence.
446
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,640
What are you gonna get
when you leave? A Nobel Prize.
447
00:21:58,640 --> 00:21:59,960
About time.
448
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:01,960
I was left in the supermarket
when I was younger.
449
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,960
I've tried to abandon you in dozens
of supermarkets many times.
450
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,480
So you agreed to do series three?
451
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:08,960
Er, that's right.
452
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:12,960
That's right.
453
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,960
Well, it got rockier.
454
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,960
What happened?
455
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,960
Simon left.
456
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,160
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