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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
2
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,011
God.
3
00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,282
Okay. Okay.
4
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,849
"I'd rather be a hammer than a nail."
5
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,729
No.
6
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,009
No.
7
00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:18,720
Fuck you, bitch!
8
00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,044
- Good luck.
- Thanks.
9
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:07,926
Hi.
10
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,963
I need a room for the night.
11
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:11,565
$18.
12
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,283
Unless, uh, you have a companion
joining you later.
13
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,885
If you have a companion, it's more.
14
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,485
I don't have a companion.
15
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,610
So it's $18.
16
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:22,601
For now.
17
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:24,966
It'll stay $18.
18
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:27,645
Unless someone comes later.
19
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,446
Which he won't.
20
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:31,851
He may.
21
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,490
To throw out certain evidence
22
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,562
obtained at O.J. Simpson's house.
23
00:03:36,660 --> 00:03:37,730
I'm hiking the PCT.
24
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:43,331
And...I don't have a license plate number
or an address.
25
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,130
Just put down your folks' address.
26
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:03,965
- Hello.
- Hey.
27
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,285
Oh, hey.
28
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:08,486
Hi.
29
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,166
Hey.
30
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:11,605
Y-You in Mojave?
31
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,561
Yeah. I used your address
32
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:17,041
as my address on the registration form
'cause I...
33
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,161
I couldn't think of anything else.
34
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,688
No, that's cool. Anytime.
35
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:24,926
Hey, if you see my little brother,
36
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,081
will you let him know where I am?
37
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,363
Not that he would give a shit,
but I just want him to know.
38
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,204
No, he does, he will.
39
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:35,443
Listen, I'm making dinner for a friend, and, uh...
40
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:36,885
Oh, which friend?
41
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:40,560
Does it make any difference?
42
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:46,362
You know, I only called because
I was looking for Leif.
43
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,803
No, I want you to call.
I want you to call.
44
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,370
We're friends, remember?
45
00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:53,605
Sorry.
46
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,490
No, I'm sorry.
47
00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:57,721
For what?
48
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:00,925
I-I don't know.
49
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,611
I'm-I'm sorry, uh...
50
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:10,003
that you have to walk a thousand miles just to...
51
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,649
Finish that sentence.
52
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,527
Why do I have to walk a thousand miles?
53
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,890
Uh, do you have the list of addresses
to write to?
54
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:27,761
Yeah. Yeah.
55
00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:29,808
Do you want me to send anything else?
56
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,325
Uh, no, thanks.
57
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,402
Aimee's in charge of all the boxes.
58
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,809
Okay. Okay.
59
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,291
I got to go.
60
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,323
Happy trails, Cheryl.
61
00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:00,411
Remember, you can quit anytime.
62
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,085
Shit.
63
00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:54,522
Oh, my God.
64
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,166
Shit!
65
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:17,726
Okay.
66
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:16,526
So where are you going?
67
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,568
I'm hiking the Pacific Crest Trail.
68
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:21,047
It goes from the Mexican border
up to Canada.
69
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,049
I'll be walking for the next three months.
70
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:25,441
Up to Ashland.
71
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:27,281
You do a lot of hiking?
72
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:28,687
Well, I mean,
73
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:32,207
I'm not obsessive, but this is
quite a stretch, even for me.
74
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,370
I guess we're gonna be
the last human contact
75
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,044
you have for a while, huh?
76
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:37,891
That's true.
77
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:53,124
You can never
78
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:58,289
Go home anymore
79
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,326
Listen
80
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,842
Does this sound familiar?
81
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:05,568
You wake up every morning
82
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,603
Go to school every day
83
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,082
Spend your nights on the corner
84
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,049
Just passing time away
85
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,089
Your life is so lonely
86
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,322
Like a child without a toy
87
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,805
Then a miracle
88
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,490
A boy
89
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,368
And that's called "glad"
90
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:31,129
Never
91
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:35,405
Go home anymore
92
00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:37,590
Now...
93
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,122
Love you, too, son.
94
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:50,730
"If your Nerve, deny you,
Go above your Nerve."
95
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,171
Emily Dickinson.
And Cheryl Strayed.
96
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:13,725
Oh, my God.
97
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,129
What the fuck have I done?
98
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,370
What... The fuck?
99
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:23,810
What...
100
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,325
The fuck?
101
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,403
What the fuck?
102
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:36,964
You can quit anytime.
103
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,925
You can quit...
104
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:40,286
anytime.
105
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:43,049
You can quit...
106
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,246
anytime.
107
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,291
Yes!
108
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,124
Shit.
109
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,131
Jesus fucking Christ.
110
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:45,851
Yes, I would
111
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,886
If I could
112
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,921
I surely would
113
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:31,646
I thought of you today.
114
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,402
I felt a burst of energy,
115
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:38,250
remembering why I thought
I could hike this trail.
116
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:42,242
I hope you won't be mad at me
if I quit.
117
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:52,165
"Today a backhoe divulged out
of a crumbling flank of earth,
118
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:54,726
"one bottle amber, perfect,
119
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:58,407
"a hundred-year-old cure
for fever or melancholy...
120
00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:01,086
"A tonic for living on this earth.
121
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,361
"Today I was reading about Marie Curie."
122
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:08,490
"She died a famous woman,
denying her wounds...
123
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:11,851
"Denying her wounds
came from the same source
124
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,844
"as her power."
125
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:18,440
So, what did he say?
126
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:19,880
He said he was going to call you.
127
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,928
Are you serious? Yeah, I know.
128
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,445
Does he think we're in junior high?
129
00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:25,246
Exactly!
130
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:27,402
I think he's going to ask
for your number!
131
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,086
Bobbi?
132
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:31,525
- Hey.
- Hey.
133
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,489
- How's it going?
- Good.
134
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,087
Hard but fun.
135
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,006
All right. See you.
136
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,406
Yeah, cool.
137
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,088
I'm just gonna grab this for a second.
138
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,164
I'm sorry I ignored you at school today.
139
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:56,924
That's okay, hon.
140
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:58,931
We agreed, right?
141
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,367
It's pretty strange
going to school with your mom.
142
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,083
It's not because
I'm not proud of you.
143
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,083
I'm really proud of you.
144
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,645
You know what?
I'm pretty proud of me, too.
145
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,970
God, there's so much to know.
146
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,486
I mean, I knew there was a lot, but...
147
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,608
not this much.
148
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,428
You've read Erica Jong, right?
149
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,531
Okay, so tell me about the zipless fuck.
150
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,810
Mom, I am not gonna discuss
zipless fucks with you.
151
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,167
Uh, you have to,
'cause I have to write a paper about it.
152
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:31,800
I mean, you know, is it...
153
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,609
- This is so awkward. ...
- that much easier for women now
154
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,205
- than it was before?
- I don't know.
155
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,850
Can we not discuss this?
156
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:40,641
Well, for me, it felt like
it was always covered in zips.
157
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,451
Zips, strings, everywhere I went.
158
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:44,567
Hey.
159
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:45,880
What's for dinner, Mom? I'm starving.
160
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,610
Books and essays.
161
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:48,761
I can fix something.
162
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,928
Are you gonna stay, Wayne?
You want something to eat?
163
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,002
- Sure.
- Mom, they are 18 years old.
164
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:54,570
They can cook their own dinner.
165
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,802
You've got a paper to write.
166
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,008
If I can't be a mom,
then I can't be a student, either.
167
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,081
Rule book.
168
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,361
That's ridiculous.
169
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,364
If she wants to make me dinner,
then let her.
170
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,124
I wonder, have you learned any of this
171
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,168
- that we're reading?
- You know, I have to do everything.
172
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,526
I want to do everything.
173
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,204
I hope you do, too.
174
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:13,920
Pasta?
175
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,446
"Denying her wounds
176
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,329
"came from her power.
177
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:25,486
"Denying her wounds came
from the same source as her power."
178
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,970
And you want to travel blind...
179
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,285
I'm not afraid.
180
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,290
I'm not afraid.
181
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,525
"Please ensure that
you only use white gas
182
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,443
"compatible with this stove.
183
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,010
"Other fuels may harm the equipment
184
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,162
"and render it inoperable."
185
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,205
Shit.
186
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,081
Shit!
187
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,444
Cold mush is great.
188
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,522
Cold mush with nuts.
189
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,042
Cold mush with tuna jerky.
190
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:25,411
Cold mush dreams.
191
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,041
Cold mush shit.
192
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,691
I love cold mush.
193
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:39,249
"What do you like to do
when you're not hiking, Cheryl?"
194
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,201
I like to sit on a real toilet.
195
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,769
And flush.
196
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:46,890
I like to cook food.
197
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,886
Eat food with other people.
198
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,608
People, that's another thing I like.
199
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,569
I like talking to people,
200
00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:57,849
listening to people.
201
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,962
Funny, that's a hobby,
one I hadn't even realized I had.
202
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:07,887
Until I decided to walk on my own
through the fucking desert.
203
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,522
We got to feed you, kid.
204
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,404
Should I stay or should I go?
205
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:46,280
I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail
206
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,290
Yes, I would
207
00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:02,211
Hey!
208
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:05,767
Hey!
209
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:16,641
Hi!
210
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:18,730
My name is Cheryl.
211
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,929
I'm walking the PCT,
and I've run out of food.
212
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,244
I'm just wondering
if you could take me someplace
213
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:25,924
I could get a warm meal.
214
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:27,526
I'm working.
215
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,183
Yeah, I understand.
216
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,241
But maybe when you're finished,
you could take me somewhere?
217
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,049
Not gonna find anything open
this time of day.
218
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,527
Well, maybe you could just drive me
219
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,523
to someplace that'd be open
in the morning for breakfast,
220
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,762
and I can camp nearby.
221
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:47,086
You must be starving.
222
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,925
I brought all these dehydrated meals,
and I brought a stove,
223
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,365
but I brought the wrong fuel.
224
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,966
Yeah, I got a little bit more work to do,
225
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,281
but you can wait in my truck.
226
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,205
Thank you.
227
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,604
- Thank you, sir.
- Yeah.
228
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:43,410
All right, I've been thinking.
229
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:47,005
You can come back to my place
230
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,242
for a hot dinner and a hot shower.
231
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:51,960
Okay.
232
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,082
So, what kind of woman are you?
233
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:58,007
What kind?
234
00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,844
Yeah. Are you like a Jane?
235
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,284
You know, Tarzan's Jane.
236
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:04,845
Are you a Jane?
237
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,445
A wild woman?
238
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,969
I got a little something for us.
239
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,409
That is, if you partake.
240
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:13,641
Sure.
241
00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:16,485
Ladies first.
242
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:19,642
It's cheap, but it's good.
243
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:26,246
See?
244
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,121
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
245
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:30,565
I'm gonna call you Jane.
246
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:35,967
Yeah, my husband's hiking the PCT with me.
247
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,727
He's just a little bit
further ahead on the trail.
248
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:40,731
We're gonna meet up really soon.
249
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:42,890
Probably around Kennedy Meadows.
250
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:47,010
I got a little something else
I like to do after a hard day's work.
251
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:52,769
You like licorice?
252
00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:56,009
Oh, thanks.
253
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:57,641
Come on.
254
00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,250
Come on, Jane!
255
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:02,691
All right, you got to promise
256
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:04,171
that you're not gonna tell my wife,
257
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,049
because she hates it
when I eat candy.
258
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:08,527
Okay.
259
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:37,810
What, you just gonna stand there?
260
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:47,167
Oh... hold on, sweetheart.
261
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:48,890
No offense, but...
262
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,409
Thank you.
263
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,288
Well, you just gonna look at it or...
264
00:27:06,260 --> 00:27:07,362
Thank you.
265
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,210
Good meal.
266
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,641
So, your husband,
267
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:27,729
the two of you meet in college?
268
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:31,770
- Your husband.
- Oh, Paul?
269
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,331
- Yeah.
- Yes.
270
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:34,487
Yeah.
271
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:36,403
Well, he must be crazy.
272
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,883
It's one thing for a man
to take off on a hike like that,
273
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,803
but to allow your wife to do it?
274
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:44,370
Whole other thing entirely.
275
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,364
Not everyone in the world
thinks like you do, Frank.
276
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,761
Nope, that's why everything
is so messed up.
277
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:53,760
Paul and I kind of do our own thing.
278
00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:57,884
Don't you get any ideas.
279
00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:59,803
How could I possibly?
280
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:02,801
You gonna take off with her?
281
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:07,251
You have an extra tent?
282
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:08,845
You'd be yelling for me
283
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,082
to come get you before you got
to the end of the driveway.
284
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,089
This is really good.
285
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:37,762
Baby, baby, be my friend
286
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:49,563
So, what does this tattoo
mean to you guys, anyways?
287
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,802
Well, we both just really dig horses.
288
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,603
We're getting divorced today
289
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:57,441
and we thought we should do something
290
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:59,568
that bonded us together.
291
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:03,805
Okay.
292
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:11,084
It hasn't occurred to you guys
that it might be easier just to stay married?
293
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:12,870
Cheaper, too.
294
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:14,366
At least we probably won't regret it.
295
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:16,286
Couples don't necessarily stay married,
296
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,164
but they tend to stay divorced.
297
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:21,601
You get a lot of people
asking you about removing tattoos?
298
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:22,761
Well, sometimes.
299
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:24,490
I cheated on him.
300
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:29,246
It happens.
301
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:31,327
She seems sorry.
302
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:32,606
I am sorry.
303
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:33,920
Cheryl, come on, can we just...
304
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,291
Come on, man, wipe the slate clean.
305
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:38,488
Uh, it's quite a big slate.
306
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,081
I cheated on him a lot of times.
307
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,889
Is that right? "Stryed"?
308
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:50,525
Uh, no, it's "strayed."
309
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:52,081
Like a stray dog.
310
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,921
The form asked me
what my new last name would be. I...
311
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:57,761
I looked it up.
312
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:00,563
It just sounded right.
313
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:03,446
You're all set.
314
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:06,690
You're going to have
to mail them yourselves.
315
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:17,564
It's been a wonderful and crazy seven years.
316
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:33,561
Goodbye,
317
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,081
Cheryl Strayed.
318
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:12,801
Got what you needed?
319
00:31:13,980 --> 00:31:14,120
Yes.
320
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:15,645
Now I don't have to eat cold mush anymore.
321
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:16,846
I can eat hot mush.
322
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,848
There's no husband, is there?
323
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:30,849
No. I mean, there was,
324
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,129
but he's in Minneapolis,
not on the PCT.
325
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,327
I said that 'cause
I was scared of you.
326
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:40,287
Yeah, I knew that.
327
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:41,921
Can't say I blame you.
328
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:46,686
Do you ever think about quitting?
329
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,485
Oh, only once every two minutes or so.
330
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,800
Everything hurts. All the time.
331
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,201
- You think I should quit?
- Yes, I do.
332
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,731
Don't listen to me.
Hell, I've quit a bunch of stuff.
333
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,609
Quit jobs, quit marriages.
334
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,682
I'd have quit that hike
after the first day.
335
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,330
You regret any of them?
336
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,084
I didn't have a choice.
337
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,487
I just couldn't do them no more.
338
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:19,329
Never been a time when
there was a fork in my road.
339
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:22,647
Yeah.
340
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,208
That's about the size of it.
341
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:28,486
Be careful.
342
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:30,170
- All right.
- Nice meeting you.
343
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,208
Nice meeting you.
Thank you, Frank!
344
00:32:58,400 --> 00:32:59,481
Yes!
345
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:08,366
Okay.
346
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:18,330
Oh, my God.
347
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:19,811
Oh, my God!
348
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:46,361
You're doing good, Strayed.
349
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:49,288
Five to seven miles a day.
350
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,204
At this rate, you'll be finished
in about 20 years.
351
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:31,005
I'm not hungry.
352
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:33,731
I don't miss food.
353
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,320
I don't miss tacos, chips and guac.
354
00:34:40,240 --> 00:34:42,527
I don't miss Minneapolis snow,
that's for sure.
355
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:46,330
I don't miss margaritas.
356
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,323
I'd kill a snake for a sip.
357
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:51,603
It's not like I'm some junkie.
I'm in control.
358
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:53,330
Yeah, like everyone is with drugs?
359
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,070
I'm an experimentalist.
360
00:35:55,240 --> 00:35:57,641
I'm the girl who says yes instead of no.
361
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:27,601
Uh, hi!
362
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:29,567
Cheryl Strayed?
363
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:31,645
Oh, yeah, hi!
364
00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:33,051
I... Do I know you?
365
00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:35,163
I... I saw your name in the trail register.
366
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:37,366
You're the only woman in there.
367
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:38,487
Right.
368
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:39,881
I'm Greg!
369
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:41,486
Nice to meet you!
370
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:43,601
I'm coming down.
371
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:45,567
Oh, great!
372
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,605
Sorry. I wasn't expecting any visitors.
373
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,886
So how many miles a day are you doing?
374
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:01,167
I'm averaging 22 at the moment.
375
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:05,290
You'll be in Kennedy Meadows by tomorrow?
376
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:06,807
Hope so.
377
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:11,080
I'm only managing about...
378
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:13,046
11 or 12.
379
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,603
Uh, well, the first couple of weeks
are always hard.
380
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:19,331
And you do all that preparation and training,
381
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,006
and nothing prepares you
for the pain and the heat.
382
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:26,722
Yeah, we picked the wrong year, though.
383
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:28,689
You, uh, bypassing the Sierra?
384
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:30,887
Sure.
385
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,684
I'll bypass anything. Should I?
386
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:35,444
Oh, it's completely socked in.
387
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,243
Biggest snowfall in a decade or so.
388
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:40,806
Yeah, nobody's getting through that.
389
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:45,687
Say, uh...
390
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:49,129
how 'bout we make a plan
up in Kennedy Meadows?
391
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,044
I'm... I'm staying there
for a few days to rest up.
392
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:53,607
Yeah.
393
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:54,761
Thanks.
394
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:56,570
Let's make a plan. I...
395
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:57,687
Think that'd be good for me.
396
00:37:58,400 --> 00:37:59,561
Great.
397
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:17,647
I think I'm pregnant.
398
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:20,647
What?
399
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:24,604
Who's the father?
400
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:25,881
I don't know.
401
00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:27,767
I mean...
402
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,205
I think I have an idea.
403
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:31,884
You have an idea?
404
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,562
Are you fucking kidding me?
405
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,841
What are you doing to yourself?
406
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:43,921
Can we have the check, please?
407
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:46,931
Shit. Pregnancy test and a shovel.
408
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,521
You're going to do this in front of me,
and if you're pregnant,
409
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:54,008
we're gonna pay visit to your "idea"
and make a plan.
410
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,809
Next please!
411
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:07,164
Give me a reason to love you
412
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,207
This is the beginning
413
00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:17,251
Of forever and ever
414
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:27,086
It's time to move over
415
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:33,202
It's all I want to be
416
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:38,524
Give me a reason to love you
417
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:47,810
Give me a reason to be
418
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,282
A woman
419
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,725
I just wanna be a woman
420
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,609
There's no plan to make.
421
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:04,087
I'm not gonna have this baby.
422
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:10,163
I don't know when I became
such a piece of shit.
423
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:12,126
I was strong...
424
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,009
Responsible.
425
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:17,608
I wanted things in life.
426
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:20,329
I was good, you know?
427
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:22,486
I ruined my marriage,
428
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,562
and now I'm ruining
the rest of my life.
429
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:28,843
I gotta go back to that store.
430
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:32,963
I'm gonna walk myself back to the woman
431
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:34,485
my mother thought I was.
432
00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:39,529
I'm gonna put myself
in the way of beauty.
433
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:43,170
What the hell are you talking about?
434
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:52,083
In the way of another fucking giant rock.
435
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:05,851
Maybe your other girlfriends
436
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:10,080
Couldn't pass the test
437
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,287
Come on, Bruce. Sing with me.
438
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:23,401
Well, if you're rough
and ready for love
439
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:28,002
Honey, I'm tougher than...
440
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:29,286
The rest
441
00:42:48,240 --> 00:42:49,287
Hey, there.
442
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,071
There she is!
443
00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:57,321
Hey!
444
00:42:57,960 --> 00:42:59,769
- You made it!
- I made it!
445
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:01,527
Okay, guys?
446
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:03,087
This is Cheryl.
447
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:04,721
And Monster.
448
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:06,681
"Monster"?
449
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:08,367
My Pack?
450
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:10,200
Oh, man.
451
00:43:12,540 --> 00:43:13,604
Okay,
452
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:14,727
what can I get you?
453
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:19,250
Snapple. I've been dreaming
of Snapple Lemonade.
454
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:22,320
And potato chips.
Any kind of potato chips.
455
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:23,401
- Any kind?
- Thank you.
456
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:25,608
- I have cash.
- No, no, no! My treat.
457
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:26,681
Ah, thank you.
458
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:31,967
Seriously, you have no Snapple in that pack?
459
00:43:32,540 --> 00:43:33,610
I wish!
460
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:37,361
Stay.
461
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:38,805
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
462
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:41,167
I wish I'd gotten applause like that
when I walked in.
463
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:45,284
Okay! I know they said
don't feed the animals,
464
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:47,647
but I figured this would be
a special occasion.
465
00:43:47,720 --> 00:43:49,848
One Snapple and chips.
466
00:43:51,180 --> 00:43:52,291
That's perfect.
467
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:55,770
When you're done here,
Ed over there
468
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,081
will cook you dinner down
at the campsite.
469
00:43:58,680 --> 00:43:59,841
That would be amazing.
470
00:43:59,920 --> 00:44:00,921
Thank you.
471
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:03,727
Ed is amazing.
We call him Amazing Ed.
472
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:19,327
Sweetheart.
473
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,442
If you're reading this,
then you've walked 100 miles
474
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:27,568
through the Mojave Desert.
475
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:29,005
Whatever else has happened between us,
476
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:31,526
however angry we are, or were,
at each other,
477
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:35,525
I am so proud of you
and in awe of you.
478
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,321
Or, I will be, once you've done it.
479
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:40,530
As I write, you've only just left,
480
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,046
so actually, you've done
almost nothing at all.
481
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:44,406
Like me!
482
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:46,209
So we can still be friends.
483
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:47,691
Minneapolis misses you.
484
00:44:59,960 --> 00:45:00,961
Hey, Cheryl!
485
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:03,531
- Come and get it!
- Okay, great!
486
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:05,927
So you're not a hiker?
487
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:07,241
Not like you.
488
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:09,361
I just come up here every summer
489
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:10,771
to hang out with the real hikers.
490
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:12,490
You fascinate me.
491
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:14,769
I'm not a real hiker.
492
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,207
You just hiked 100 miles
through the desert heat.
493
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,123
And it nearly killed me.
494
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:22,641
You want some help?
495
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:26,322
Do I look like somebody who needs help?
496
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:31,409
Your boots. They're too small.
497
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:33,403
That's why you're losing toenails.
498
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,324
Yeah. You're right.
499
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:40,364
I only just realized it
the second you said that.
500
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:42,568
I thought they were supposed
to hurt that bad.
501
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:43,641
What am I supposed to do?
502
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:45,330
I don't have any money
to buy new boots.
503
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:*****2
- Did you get them at REI?
- Yeah.
504
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:48,921
Well, you call 'em,
505
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:50,081
you tell 'em, and they'll have new boots
506
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:51,321
sent to your next stop.
507
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:52,545
Seriously?
508
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:55,724
And your pack, it's insane.
509
00:45:56,240 --> 00:45:58,083
We need to do a little pruning.
510
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:00,011
Okay, so I'm gonna pick out
511
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:01,889
the stuff that's useless to you.
512
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:03,325
And you can leave it in the free box
513
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:04,606
unless you can give me a good reason
514
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:05,761
why you need it with you.
515
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:07,081
- Okay.
- Okay?
516
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:11,006
Ah, how's this working for you?
517
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:13,046
I stink.
518
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:16,681
I stink all the time.
And my armpits are the least of it.
519
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:18,769
Are you having much fun with these?
520
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:20,928
I've never used them once.
521
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:30,084
I don't know what I was thinking
with the saw.
522
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:36,090
You burning what you read?
523
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:37,207
You want me to burn books?
524
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,647
I know you're not gonna become a Nazi,
I promise you.
525
00:46:39,720 --> 00:46:42,166
But you are gonna make your pack
a lot lighter.
526
00:46:42,240 --> 00:46:45,005
Okay? So...
Everything before Kennedy Meadows...
527
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:50,607
Wait. Not those.
528
00:46:52,240 --> 00:46:53,890
These will never be burned.
529
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:55,610
It's your weight.
530
00:46:57,720 --> 00:47:00,007
I don't take pictures at night.
531
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:02,521
Never.
532
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:09,841
You... You need the whole roll?
533
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:13,967
What woman goes on a hike
and brings 12 condoms.
534
00:47:14,540 --> 00:47:15,644
Hey, Ed!
535
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:17,007
Wait just a minute.
536
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:26,326
But you'll just send the boots there?
537
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:28,568
I don't have to do anything?
538
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:30,561
Thank you so much.
539
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:33,769
You will be my favorite company
forever and ever.
540
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:35,927
Okay.
541
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:37,761
Great.
542
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:54,965
So what's wrong with James Michener?
543
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:57,122
He's crap is what's wrong.
544
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:59,363
And which of his books
have you read that are so...
545
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:00,845
I haven't read any of his books.
546
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:02,649
I read things like Adrienne Rich
547
00:48:02,720 --> 00:48:04,085
and Flannery O'Connor.
548
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,049
Which you do, too, now, by the way.
549
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:08,282
Doesn't it make a difference to you?
550
00:48:08,980 --> 00:48:10,164
I don't know what to say.
551
00:48:11,240 --> 00:48:12,844
I love James Michener!
552
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:14,803
And I'm not going to stop loving him!
553
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:19,768
It must be so weird for you.
554
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:21,001
What?
555
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:24,329
That I'm just so much more sophisticated
than you were
556
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:25,925
at my age, you know?
557
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:32,322
Yeah, that was the plan.
558
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:35,084
What was the plan?
559
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:38,602
I always wanted you to be
more sophisticated than me.
560
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:41,606
I just didn't realize
it would hurt sometimes.
561
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,360
Why do you put up with my crap?
562
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:52,767
You look so pretty in that dress.
563
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:56,840
And I'll make you another one soon.
564
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:01,521
What'd you decide about the snow?
565
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:03,842
Well, I'd like to push on,
if it's possible.
566
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:06,881
Well, Ed told me a lot of the hikers
567
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,681
went up the PCT another 40 miles
to Trail Pass.
568
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:11,285
- Yeah?
- And that's where they're getting forced off
569
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:12,771
by the snow.
570
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:15,810
And they're catching a bus
up to Reno and on to Truckee,
571
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:17,769
just, rejoining the trail
at a lower elevation.
572
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:20,170
I didn't come out here to ride buses.
573
00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:22,406
You probably didn't come out here
574
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:24,488
to slide off the side of a mountain, either.
575
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:26,050
True.
576
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:28,243
If you're worried about cheating yourself,
577
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:30,647
just make your hike longer.
578
00:49:30,720 --> 00:49:33,087
You know, just, uh, walk to Mount Hood
579
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:35,242
or the Bridge of the Gods.
580
00:49:36,240 --> 00:49:38,163
The Bridge of the Gods?
581
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:40,362
I like the sound of that.
582
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:44,761
Either way, don't beat yourself up.
583
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:46,280
You, uh, you strike me as someone
584
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:48,761
who's done plenty of that already.
585
00:50:16,240 --> 00:50:17,480
Can I ride my horse?
586
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:20,687
Bobbi Grey?
587
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:24,566
I'm sorry.
588
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:27,243
- How long?
- Can I ride my horse?
589
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:29,200
We'll be giving you radiation
590
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:31,851
to shrink the size of the tumors
along your spine.
591
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:34,803
The slightest jolt, it could crumble.
592
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:35,961
How long?
593
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:55,681
You all right, honey?
594
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:00,685
Yeah, I'm fine.
595
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:18,041
Hi, this is Paul.
596
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:20,407
Leave a message
and I'll call you back whenever I can.
597
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:23,203
Hey, sorry to call so late.
598
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:26,087
Thank you.
599
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:29,323
I'm in Reno. If you were here,
we could get divorced again.
600
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:32,648
Anyway, I... I'm still alive.
601
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:37,286
And that's all my news.
602
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:40,730
And the sum total
of what I've learned on my hike.
603
00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:45,205
Okay. Bye.
604
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:04,681
Hi. I'm Cheryl.
605
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:07,842
I'm an unaccompanied female hitchhiker.
606
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,124
Would it be okay if I got
into your car
607
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:12,806
so that you can rape
and dismember me?
608
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:18,126
Hey, going north?
609
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:19,807
Yeah, I am, actually.
610
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:21,609
Okay, I just need a ride
about 12 miles up.
611
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:26,971
- Well, that's quite a backpack you got there.
- Thanks.
612
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:28,923
I can't offer you a ride
because I don't have any room.
613
00:52:31,240 --> 00:52:32,207
What do you mean?
614
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:33,441
Yeah, I'm packed to the gills.
615
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:35,086
Jimmy Carter.
616
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:37,367
No relation.
617
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:41,606
I interview hobos for the Hobo Times.
Drive all over the USA.
618
00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:44,923
And I have to tell you.
Lady hobos? Hard to find.
619
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:47,681
I think you're mistaken.
I'm not a hobo.
620
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:51,171
Second of all, that's a real thing,
the Hobo Times?
621
00:52:51,240 --> 00:52:54,130
Yeah, it's real enough
to pay for my rent and gas.
622
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:56,646
So, how long have you been
out on the road?
623
00:52:56,720 --> 00:53:00,281
I'm not "on the road."
I'm hiking the Pacific Crest Trail.
624
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:02,044
I just had to bypass a chunk of it
625
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:04,248
because there was a snowfall this year.
626
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:07,166
Okay, so if you're not a hobo,
where do you live?
627
00:53:07,240 --> 00:53:08,765
I'm between places right now.
628
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:10,922
I'm probably going to live in Portland
when I get off the PCT.
629
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:12,730
This is so fucking cool. I mean...
630
00:53:13,240 --> 00:53:16,687
I've only spoken to maybe
one other female hobo in two years.
631
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:19,161
Let me reiterate to you,
I am not a hobo.
632
00:53:19,240 --> 00:53:21,447
And that's probably because women
cannot walk out of their lives.
633
00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:23,090
They've got kids to take care of,
634
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:25,083
they've got parents to look after.
635
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:26,924
You sound like a feminist.
636
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:28,047
I am.
637
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:30,851
That's excellent. That's fantastic.
I love feminists.
638
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:35,042
So you're trying to tell me
you're not a hobo,
639
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:36,929
so that means you have a job then, right?
640
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:39,606
I've had a whole lot of different jobs.
641
00:53:39,720 --> 00:53:42,291
Up until a couple of years ago,
I was studying.
642
00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:47,171
I hope you don't think
this is too personal,
643
00:53:47,240 --> 00:53:50,164
but I've noticed
it's often personal trauma
644
00:53:50,240 --> 00:53:52,368
that forces people out of their life
645
00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:56,240
and into the hobo life.
Would you say that's been the case for you?
646
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:59,529
This is my life.
I'm just taking a little time out.
647
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:01,126
This is not a hobo life.
648
00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:04,367
I don't know what else to tell you.
649
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:07,081
- Can I get a shot?
- No! That...
650
00:54:08,720 --> 00:54:10,802
Yeah, this should be in the fall issue.
651
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:13,611
A couple of my pieces have been
in some other magazines.
652
00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:15,250
Harper's has expressed interest.
653
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:16,287
Harper's?
654
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:17,646
It's a New York magazine.
655
00:54:17,720 --> 00:54:18,767
Pretty swanky, kind of a big deal...
656
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:19,807
Yeah, I know what Harper's is.
657
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:21,166
I want to write for Harper's one day.
658
00:54:21,240 --> 00:54:24,961
I don't really feel like being
their centerfold Bum of the Month.
659
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:26,041
What's this?
660
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:28,487
Hobo care package. Thanks a lot!
661
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:51,726
What's your dog's name?
662
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:55,408
Stevie Ray. Got him the day he died.
663
00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:57,564
The other Stevie Ray, I mean.
664
00:54:58,240 --> 00:54:59,924
I love Stevie Ray.
665
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:07,324
Hey, put on Love Struck.
666
00:55:08,240 --> 00:55:10,720
Just came to me the second
you got in this car.
667
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:13,485
Oh, shut up, Spider! Jesus!
668
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:16,689
Ignore him. He's nothing
but a horny old bastard.
669
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:22,203
You must be pretty tough,
hiking this fucking trail.
670
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:26,560
I'm in a car with you, taking a ride.
671
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:28,843
That's not very tough.
672
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,243
That's a cute little boy.
How old is he?
673
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:37,205
He was eight.
674
00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:41,920
I'm so sorry.
675
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:45,246
He got hit by a truck
when he was riding his bike.
676
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:47,121
Five years ago.
677
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:51,448
He was a tough motherfucker, too.
Just like his mom.
678
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:56,171
I'm really sorry.
679
00:55:57,440 --> 00:55:59,329
I know you are, sweetheart.
680
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:02,805
I was never me.
681
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:05,730
Don't. Okay? Don't. It's not over.
682
00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:07,080
We're gonna find somebody
who can help you
683
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:08,889
and we are gonna fight this!
684
00:56:08,960 --> 00:56:10,485
I was always...
685
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:13,648
A mother or a wife.
686
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:22,928
I was never even in the
driver's seat of my own life.
687
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:27,686
I thought there was so much time, you know?
688
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:33,210
And just when...
689
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:37,282
So many things were beginning.
690
00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:43,007
Oh, well!
691
00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:02,209
You've got to be kidding me.
692
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:07,681
Hang on.
693
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:21,125
All right.
694
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:35,760
I surely would...
695
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:38,005
Can you stop humming that song?
696
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:40,401
Happy people sing!
697
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:42,084
Shut up.
698
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:55,404
I'm sitting in the railway station
699
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:58,689
Got a ticket for my destination
700
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:06,048
The sun is right behind my back
701
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:08,521
So true north should be over there
702
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:11,327
I will not lose this fucking track
703
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:14,051
Or I'll end up in Delaware
704
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:16,802
Portland bound
705
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:21,007
I hope I am Portland bound
706
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:24,801
Hey!
707
00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:27,321
Hey!
708
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:31,085
Where am I?
709
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:33,925
California!
710
00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:37,044
Fucking hilarious.
711
00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:38,724
Plumas County!
712
00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:40,884
Are you lost?
713
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:43,721
No!
714
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:47,645
Just screwed.
715
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:04,645
Hey, beauty.
716
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:07,290
Hey, my Lady.
717
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:09,006
She saved my life.
718
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:11,169
You know, after I left your dad.
719
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:12,241
I know.
720
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:16,364
I'm not going to make you promise anything.
721
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:19,960
This is hard enough on you
as it is.
722
00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:25,961
Just please try and do the kindest thing.
723
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:28,331
Come back!
724
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:35,926
Come back.
725
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:41,006
Come back!
726
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:45,645
Here you go.
This should keep you warm.
727
01:00:50,040 --> 01:00:52,042
I'll be back in the morning with Leif.
728
01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:01,011
I love you.
729
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:05,724
You're the center of me.
730
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:08,604
Everything I am.
731
01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:12,611
Love.
732
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:16,085
Love.
733
01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:24,881
How's she doing?
734
01:01:25,560 --> 01:01:27,847
The doctor said it would be a year.
735
01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:31,204
It's been a month.
One fucking month!
736
01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:34,571
I'm sorry.
737
01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:39,124
I'll pray for her.
738
01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:57,211
Fucking Saint Patrick.
739
01:01:58,520 --> 01:02:00,363
Go to hell, all you saints.
740
01:02:05,280 --> 01:02:07,647
Thank you, God, for showing me the way.
741
01:02:08,680 --> 01:02:10,569
As if He gives a shit.
742
01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:13,284
I'm sorry, but God
is a ruthless bitch.
743
01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:18,082
Yeah, well, I really need him.
744
01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:20,481
It's urgent.
Tell him to get the fuck home.
745
01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:45,403
Where the fuck have you been?
746
01:02:45,640 --> 01:02:48,450
I've been at the hospital all day!
She's dying.
747
01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:50,204
- Don't say that!
- You understand that?
748
01:02:50,560 --> 01:02:53,131
- She can't die.
- She can. She is dying.
749
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:54,201
Stop it!
750
01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:57,329
She can't die.
751
01:03:06,360 --> 01:03:07,964
There was Killer, and Doobie.
752
01:03:08,440 --> 01:03:10,124
Doo-bie!
753
01:03:12,040 --> 01:03:13,849
And Motorcycle Dan.
754
01:03:14,560 --> 01:03:16,281
Motorcycle Dan...
755
01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:20,042
I wanted to be like that guy.
756
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:25,770
And Nipper.
757
01:03:29,720 --> 01:03:31,643
"If you press your face against the glass...
758
01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:34,087
"you can see a little slice of Lake Superior."
759
01:03:34,560 --> 01:03:35,846
A room with a view.
760
01:03:36,520 --> 01:03:37,681
She said.
761
01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:40,525
All my life, I've always wanted
a room with a view.
762
01:03:41,560 --> 01:03:44,086
Jesus, she just never stops.
763
01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:50,887
The past few years,
I've acted like she was nothing to me.
764
01:03:52,520 --> 01:03:53,726
But...
765
01:03:55,240 --> 01:03:57,402
really, she was everything.
766
01:04:08,840 --> 01:04:10,365
What are you doing?
767
01:04:11,520 --> 01:04:12,646
Praying.
768
01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:16,485
Shut up.
769
01:04:17,960 --> 01:04:20,531
I'm praying to the whole fucking universe...
770
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:25,082
hoping there's a God.
771
01:04:26,560 --> 01:04:29,530
Because I want a miracle.
I want a fucking miracle!
772
01:04:30,320 --> 01:04:33,210
Our mother isn't going to die at 45.
773
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:41,651
Are you burning and yearning?
774
01:04:43,920 --> 01:04:46,605
Do you ever feel blue?
775
01:04:48,040 --> 01:04:50,327
And do you think of returning?
776
01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:53,842
How's the world treating you?
777
01:04:55,760 --> 01:04:56,921
I can't wait to see her face.
778
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:00,802
She'll be so happy to see you.
779
01:05:06,200 --> 01:05:08,043
So happy to see you...
780
01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:17,161
How much do I love you?
781
01:05:18,280 --> 01:05:19,327
No.
782
01:05:19,400 --> 01:05:20,401
This much?
783
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:22,650
This much?
784
01:05:22,920 --> 01:05:24,081
This much?
785
01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:25,481
This much?
786
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:27,848
I'm stuck! I can't go wider.
787
01:05:27,920 --> 01:05:29,251
I can't go wider!
788
01:05:32,120 --> 01:05:34,521
How's the world treating you?
789
01:05:39,800 --> 01:05:41,689
We put ice on her eyes.
790
01:05:42,200 --> 01:05:43,326
What?
791
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:46,162
She wanted to donate her corneas, so...
792
01:05:46,520 --> 01:05:47,931
Oh, my God.
793
01:05:57,360 --> 01:05:59,124
Fuck you, bitch!
794
01:07:12,280 --> 01:07:14,169
What the fuck do you want?
795
01:07:47,800 --> 01:07:49,643
Fuck you, let's go.
796
01:07:49,800 --> 01:07:52,246
I'd rather be a sparrow
797
01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:54,210
than a snail
798
01:07:54,920 --> 01:07:57,082
Yes, I would
799
01:07:58,200 --> 01:08:00,521
If I could
800
01:08:01,040 --> 01:08:03,407
I surely would
801
01:08:08,640 --> 01:08:12,645
I'd rather be a hammer than a nail
802
01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:15,482
Yes, I would
803
01:09:01,560 --> 01:09:05,929
I'd rather be a forest than a street
804
01:09:07,400 --> 01:09:09,402
If l could
805
01:09:10,400 --> 01:09:13,244
If I only could
806
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:15,250
I surely would
807
01:09:16,720 --> 01:09:18,051
I surely would
808
01:09:35,440 --> 01:09:36,407
Fuck it.
809
01:10:17,760 --> 01:10:19,285
Can you stop humming that song?
810
01:10:22,960 --> 01:10:24,041
What is wrong with you?
811
01:10:24,120 --> 01:10:26,282
I don't know.
What's wrong with you?
812
01:10:26,360 --> 01:10:28,089
I'm happy. Happy people sing!
813
01:10:28,200 --> 01:10:32,330
Why are you happy?
We have nothing, Mom. Nothing.
814
01:10:32,640 --> 01:10:34,608
We're rich in love.
815
01:10:34,680 --> 01:10:36,011
Oh, my God, please.
816
01:10:36,080 --> 01:10:37,844
Don't even start with that.
817
01:10:38,320 --> 01:10:40,084
We're both waitressing full-time.
818
01:10:40,160 --> 01:10:41,400
We're students.
819
01:10:41,480 --> 01:10:43,562
We'll have loans the rest of our lives.
This house...
820
01:10:43,640 --> 01:10:46,371
is falling apart.
You're all by yourself
821
01:10:46,440 --> 01:10:49,762
because you married
some abusive alcoholic asshole.
822
01:10:50,160 --> 01:10:52,208
And I come home and you're singing?
823
01:10:52,280 --> 01:10:53,850
What part of it do you not get?
824
01:10:54,120 --> 01:10:56,851
There's nothing I don't get,
believe me.
825
01:10:59,160 --> 01:11:00,685
But then what?
826
01:11:01,680 --> 01:11:04,604
Cheryl, if there's one thing
I could teach you...
827
01:11:04,680 --> 01:11:06,762
It's how to find your best self.
828
01:11:06,840 --> 01:11:09,764
And when you do,
how to hold onto it for dear life.
829
01:11:09,840 --> 01:11:11,968
And this is your best self.
830
01:11:12,480 --> 01:11:13,686
I'm trying.
831
01:11:16,680 --> 01:11:19,923
Do I regret marrying
an abusive alcoholic asshole?
832
01:11:23,280 --> 01:11:24,361
No.
833
01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:27,726
Not for a second.
Because I got you.
834
01:11:28,320 --> 01:11:29,970
And your brother.
835
01:11:30,520 --> 01:11:31,521
See how it works?
836
01:11:32,040 --> 01:11:33,644
It isn't easy...
837
01:11:34,440 --> 01:11:35,680
But it's worth it.
838
01:11:36,160 --> 01:11:38,527
There's going to be
a lot worse days than this.
839
01:11:39,120 --> 01:11:41,441
And you can let them kill you...
840
01:11:42,040 --> 01:11:45,647
But, I don't know...
I want to live.
841
01:11:*****0 --> 01:11:48,720
"I want to live."
842
01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:50,407
You couldn't even stick around
843
01:11:50,480 --> 01:11:52,801
and enjoy your miserable happy life.
844
01:11:57,880 --> 01:12:01,327
I think you have packages for me?
My name is Cheryl Strayed.
845
01:12:02,080 --> 01:12:03,411
New boots from REI?
846
01:12:03,480 --> 01:12:04,527
Yes.
847
01:12:04,680 --> 01:12:06,091
How far did you walk in those?
848
01:12:06,960 --> 01:12:10,407
About 50 miles.
You sure there's not another package?
849
01:12:10,920 --> 01:12:13,526
I'm sure. And, lady,
if you walked 50 miles
850
01:12:13,640 --> 01:12:16,086
in duct tape,
you got the right package.
851
01:12:17,040 --> 01:12:18,724
It's two bucks for the Snapple.
852
01:12:19,680 --> 01:12:20,920
I'll pass.
853
01:12:21,920 --> 01:12:23,251
Thanks.
854
01:12:33,760 --> 01:12:35,171
You like my shoes?
855
01:12:38,160 --> 01:12:40,686
Dearest Cheryl, you made it halfway.
856
01:12:40,760 --> 01:12:43,047
Six-hundred miles. Damn!
857
01:12:44,120 --> 01:12:47,408
I ran into Aimee.
She said you were making your hike longer.
858
01:12:*****0 --> 01:12:49,528
Did you decide where you'll finish?
859
01:12:49,600 --> 01:12:52,444
Let me know,
I'll send a tube of foot cream.
860
01:12:52,920 --> 01:12:56,288
I'm sorry if I cut you short on the phone
before you left.
861
01:12:56,360 --> 01:12:58,488
I still resent you, I guess.
862
01:12:59,160 --> 01:13:00,969
The funny thing is...
863
01:13:01,080 --> 01:13:02,570
hell, I'll admit it...
864
01:13:03,720 --> 01:13:05,051
I miss you.
865
01:13:05,120 --> 01:13:08,203
Be sure to take plenty of water with you
for the trail.
866
01:13:08,320 --> 01:13:10,402
There's a water tank 20 miles up, right?
867
01:13:10,480 --> 01:13:13,484
Yep. But it's way over 100 degrees out there.
868
01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:15,245
That's a lot of sweat.
869
01:13:15,680 --> 01:13:17,170
Okay. Thanks.
870
01:13:19,480 --> 01:13:20,606
Howdy.
871
01:13:20,680 --> 01:13:23,411
You should have something
for Stacey Johnson.
872
01:13:24,160 --> 01:13:25,525
I'll go check.
873
01:13:26,560 --> 01:13:28,688
Hey, are you hiking the PCT?
874
01:13:29,320 --> 01:13:30,446
Yeah.
875
01:13:30,680 --> 01:13:31,681
Are you?
876
01:13:32,920 --> 01:13:34,251
You're a woman!
877
01:13:38,880 --> 01:13:41,201
You come across a guy named Greg?
878
01:13:41,440 --> 01:13:45,126
Yeah. A while ago, at Kennedy Meadows...
879
01:13:45,320 --> 01:13:47,687
when I knew even less
than I do now.
880
01:13:48,160 --> 01:13:49,525
Well, he quit.
881
01:13:49,600 --> 01:13:51,489
What? Greg?
882
01:13:52,080 --> 01:13:54,970
He couldn't deal with the snow.
He's coming back next year.
883
01:13:57,160 --> 01:13:58,889
Greg quit and I'm still here?
884
01:14:02,560 --> 01:14:04,085
Cheers to that.
885
01:14:10,520 --> 01:14:12,090
You get lonely?
886
01:14:15,360 --> 01:14:19,206
Honestly, I think I'm lonelier
in my real life than out here.
887
01:14:20,320 --> 01:14:23,449
Yes, I miss my friends, of course, but...
888
01:14:24,720 --> 01:14:27,929
it's not like anybody's
waiting for me at home.
889
01:14:28,320 --> 01:14:30,641
How about you?
Why are you here?
890
01:14:35,960 --> 01:14:40,204
I don't know. I just need to find
something in myself, you know?
891
01:14:40,680 --> 01:14:43,206
I think the trail is good for that.
892
01:14:43,920 --> 01:14:44,921
I mean, look.
893
01:14:46,240 --> 01:14:49,642
This has the power to fill you up again
if you let it.
894
01:14:51,160 --> 01:14:54,050
My mother used to say something
that drove me nuts.
895
01:14:54,120 --> 01:14:57,203
"There's a sunrise and a sunset every day...
896
01:14:57,280 --> 01:15:00,090
"and you can choose to be there for it.
897
01:15:00,840 --> 01:15:03,207
"You can put yourself
in the way of beauty."
898
01:15:05,600 --> 01:15:06,931
My kind of woman.
899
01:15:15,560 --> 01:15:18,040
She was the love of my life.
There's nothing else...
900
01:15:18,120 --> 01:15:19,326
to say.
901
01:15:21,800 --> 01:15:24,565
I thought there'd be couches
and Kleenex and shit.
902
01:15:24,920 --> 01:15:26,604
That's 50-bucks-an-hour therapy.
903
01:15:27,440 --> 01:15:29,647
This is 10-bucks-an-hour therapy.
904
01:15:30,960 --> 01:15:33,361
Why were you destroyed
by your mother's death?
905
01:15:33,440 --> 01:15:37,570
Is that your job?
To tell the bereaved they're grieving too much?
906
01:15:37,640 --> 01:15:42,043
People grieve in all sorts of different ways.
I'm asking about yours.
907
01:15:42,120 --> 01:15:43,326
Is mine so bad?
908
01:15:43,480 --> 01:15:47,041
You're using heroin and having sex
with anyone who asks.
909
01:15:47,120 --> 01:15:50,203
I'm not sure these things
are making you happy.
910
01:15:50,520 --> 01:15:51,521
That's where you're wrong.
911
01:15:51,600 --> 01:15:54,490
When I'm doing them,
I feel good and happy.
912
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:57,041
When I'm not,
I feel like I want to die.
913
01:15:57,120 --> 01:15:59,361
You sleep with your husband, too?
914
01:15:59,440 --> 01:16:03,240
No, I'm sort of like a guy about sex.
I prefer to be detached.
915
01:16:03,880 --> 01:16:06,406
You think that's what guys are like?
916
01:16:10,360 --> 01:16:12,010
"You are here"?
917
01:16:12,560 --> 01:16:15,882
I see that poster everywhere,
and I fucking hate it.
918
01:16:16,240 --> 01:16:18,891
Why would you ever teach a child
they don't matter?
919
01:16:20,240 --> 01:16:21,924
Did you feel you mattered?
920
01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:23,650
I know I mattered.
921
01:16:25,800 --> 01:16:28,280
So who detached from you?
922
01:16:30,960 --> 01:16:32,769
Right. You know what?
923
01:16:33,920 --> 01:16:36,924
This is not going to work.
This is not about talking.
924
01:16:53,080 --> 01:16:54,889
"You want a knuckle sandwich?"
925
01:16:58,680 --> 01:17:00,523
You want a knuckle sandwich?
926
01:17:01,360 --> 01:17:02,725
You want a knuckle sandwich?
927
01:17:04,720 --> 01:17:07,041
Go, go, go!
Go get in the car.
928
01:17:08,080 --> 01:17:09,081
Get in the car.
929
01:17:09,160 --> 01:17:10,650
Get the fuck out of here!
930
01:17:11,040 --> 01:17:12,201
Fucking whore!
931
01:17:12,560 --> 01:17:14,562
I'm going to kill you!
932
01:17:16,480 --> 01:17:19,768
I'll kick your ass with my new boots,
you fucking asshole.
933
01:17:19,840 --> 01:17:21,251
Thank you, baby.
934
01:17:42,560 --> 01:17:43,925
"Eggs and bacon."
935
01:17:44,120 --> 01:17:46,248
You want some eggs and bacon?
936
01:17:48,440 --> 01:17:49,441
Baby?
937
01:18:01,080 --> 01:18:03,560
No more rain, no more pain.
938
01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:10,171
"Even a child with normal feet
was in love with the world...
939
01:18:10,240 --> 01:18:13,130
"after he had got
a new pair of shoes."
940
01:18:13,840 --> 01:18:15,569
Flannery O'Connor.
941
01:18:17,320 --> 01:18:18,970
And Cheryl Strayed.
942
01:18:44,960 --> 01:18:48,646
The ashes of a body aren't really
like ashes from a fire.
943
01:18:49,040 --> 01:18:51,486
Soft and silky, they're more like...
944
01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:55,846
pale pebbles mixed
with a gritty gray gravel.
945
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:01,485
I spread most of them around her grave.
946
01:19:03,320 --> 01:19:05,004
But some of the larger chunks...
947
01:19:06,040 --> 01:19:07,405
I put in my mouth...
948
01:19:08,320 --> 01:19:09,685
and I swallowed whole.
949
01:19:12,680 --> 01:19:13,920
Then I moved to Portland...
950
01:19:15,680 --> 01:19:17,250
with crazy Joe.
951
01:19:18,720 --> 01:19:20,848
The first time I smoked heroin...
952
01:19:21,160 --> 01:19:22,571
I laughed like a child...
953
01:19:23,560 --> 01:19:26,404
and twirled around
in my mother's jewelry box.
954
01:19:29,760 --> 01:19:31,489
Then we snorted it.
955
01:19:31,640 --> 01:19:33,688
But we were never going to shoot it.
956
01:19:34,480 --> 01:19:35,481
Never.
957
01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:41,127
The first time I shot up, I begged.
958
01:19:41,200 --> 01:19:43,248
More, more, more!
959
01:19:43,320 --> 01:19:45,971
How do you like it,
how do you like it?
960
01:19:53,880 --> 01:19:56,042
The day after my birthday...
961
01:19:56,720 --> 01:19:58,802
a man asked me for money.
962
01:19:58,880 --> 01:20:01,531
That's what I want
963
01:20:18,240 --> 01:20:20,083
A week after that...
964
01:20:21,360 --> 01:20:24,284
somebody finally wished me happy birthday.
965
01:20:30,080 --> 01:20:33,004
Heroin? Of all the stupid, selfish things!
966
01:20:33,080 --> 01:20:35,242
Why are you doing this to yourself?
967
01:20:35,760 --> 01:20:37,000
Don't you fucking touch me!
968
01:20:37,080 --> 01:20:38,411
Don't play this game!
969
01:20:38,520 --> 01:20:41,205
Why did you even come?
I didn't ask you to!
970
01:20:41,280 --> 01:20:42,691
You just want to be the hero!
971
01:20:42,760 --> 01:20:44,091
Yeah, maybe!
972
01:20:48,000 --> 01:20:49,365
Why did you come here?
973
01:20:49,440 --> 01:20:50,771
Because!
974
01:20:53,920 --> 01:20:55,331
Just because.
975
01:21:11,880 --> 01:21:13,211
Fuck it.
976
01:21:25,480 --> 01:21:27,289
Where is this fucking tank?
977
01:21:45,280 --> 01:21:46,327
No.
978
01:21:47,640 --> 01:21:48,641
No!
979
01:22:02,680 --> 01:22:03,681
Shit.
980
01:23:20,680 --> 01:23:22,603
Don't fucking die here.
981
01:24:06,080 --> 01:24:07,411
Thirty minutes.
982
01:24:07,680 --> 01:24:09,682
Fucking iodine pills.
983
01:24:49,240 --> 01:24:50,605
You got any water?
984
01:24:53,680 --> 01:24:56,684
I'd give you some of mine,
but it's not ready.
985
01:24:57,040 --> 01:24:59,964
It takes about half an hour...
with an iodine pill.
986
01:25:00,600 --> 01:25:02,602
But you have to filter it first.
987
01:25:03,240 --> 01:25:04,765
We don't have a filter.
988
01:25:06,360 --> 01:25:07,805
You can use mine.
989
01:25:08,560 --> 01:25:09,925
Do you have a bottle?
990
01:25:10,600 --> 01:25:12,443
Got an empty beer can.
991
01:25:12,960 --> 01:25:14,086
Okay.
992
01:25:23,840 --> 01:25:25,649
What are you doing out here?
993
01:25:26,080 --> 01:25:27,650
Hiking the PCT.
994
01:25:33,040 --> 01:25:36,010
So how can we kill the time?
995
01:25:37,600 --> 01:25:38,931
I can think of some ways.
996
01:25:40,160 --> 01:25:42,561
She's got a real nice figure,
doesn't she?
997
01:25:45,000 --> 01:25:46,889
I have to get going.
998
01:25:46,960 --> 01:25:49,725
Sit down. We're just messing with your head.
999
01:25:58,560 --> 01:26:00,324
We need to get going, too.
1000
01:26:06,280 --> 01:26:07,486
Thank you much.
1001
01:26:07,560 --> 01:26:08,607
Yeah.
1002
01:27:14,360 --> 01:27:15,566
Thought you were heading out.
1003
01:27:18,360 --> 01:27:20,044
I changed my mind.
1004
01:27:21,200 --> 01:27:22,929
Tried to trick us?
1005
01:27:24,280 --> 01:27:26,408
No, I changed my mind.
1006
01:27:28,040 --> 01:27:29,724
Changed your clothes, too.
1007
01:27:30,800 --> 01:27:32,165
I like your pants.
1008
01:27:33,160 --> 01:27:34,685
They look good on you.
1009
01:27:35,520 --> 01:27:38,842
Show off your hips and legs
and tight little ass.
1010
01:27:40,320 --> 01:27:42,163
Please don't say that.
1011
01:27:42,280 --> 01:27:45,090
Can't a guy give a girl a compliment anymore?
1012
01:27:48,280 --> 01:27:49,611
Thank you.
1013
01:27:55,800 --> 01:27:57,689
What the hell are you doing?
1014
01:27:57,880 --> 01:28:01,646
I thought you were lost.
Get your ass over here, let's go!
1015
01:28:05,520 --> 01:28:08,205
Here's to a young girl
alone in the woods.
1016
01:29:14,360 --> 01:29:16,010
Hello, Oregon cow.
1017
01:29:31,480 --> 01:29:34,484
Look out of any window
1018
01:29:35,080 --> 01:29:39,005
Any morning, any evening
1019
01:29:39,080 --> 01:29:41,287
Any day
1020
01:29:43,160 --> 01:29:46,482
Maybe the sun is shining
1021
01:29:46,800 --> 01:29:48,643
Birds are winging
1022
01:29:48,880 --> 01:29:52,362
Rain is falling from a heavy sky
1023
01:29:55,160 --> 01:29:57,811
What do you want me to do
1024
01:29:58,520 --> 01:30:02,605
To do for you to see you through...
1025
01:30:36,520 --> 01:30:38,488
That shade looks nice on you.
1026
01:30:38,560 --> 01:30:39,846
Oh, you think?
1027
01:30:40,520 --> 01:30:41,760
Oh, my.
1028
01:30:43,880 --> 01:30:45,962
Do you mind if I say something?
1029
01:30:46,040 --> 01:30:47,087
Sure.
1030
01:30:47,640 --> 01:30:50,120
The nicest lipstick in the world
can't help a girl
1031
01:30:50,200 --> 01:30:53,204
if she doesn't take care
of her personal hygiene.
1032
01:30:55,560 --> 01:30:57,369
I've every intention of taking care of that.
1033
01:30:58,520 --> 01:31:01,205
It really needs to be a priority, sweetie.
1034
01:31:18,920 --> 01:31:20,046
Hey.
1035
01:31:22,200 --> 01:31:23,201
Hey.
1036
01:31:25,160 --> 01:31:28,243
I, uh... I work at a music club
down the street.
1037
01:31:28,920 --> 01:31:30,763
We're honoring Jerry Garcia tonight.
1038
01:31:31,600 --> 01:31:33,728
- You should come along.
- Oh, cool.
1039
01:31:35,520 --> 01:31:36,646
What's your name?
1040
01:31:37,040 --> 01:31:38,246
Cheryl.
1041
01:31:40,760 --> 01:31:42,649
Don't worry, I don't bite.
1042
01:31:42,720 --> 01:31:44,449
I don't mind biting.
1043
01:31:46,240 --> 01:31:48,607
Oh, my God. I can't believe
I just said that.
1044
01:31:48,680 --> 01:31:51,809
I'm so sorry. I've been on my own
for a little while.
1045
01:31:51,880 --> 01:31:54,451
Not that I'm "on my own."
I've been in a lot of relationships before.
1046
01:31:54,520 --> 01:31:57,046
I've just been hiking on my own
for a while.
1047
01:31:58,400 --> 01:32:01,449
Look, I'm gonna put your name
on the guest list.
1048
01:32:02,280 --> 01:32:04,123
Hope to see you later.
1049
01:32:10,080 --> 01:32:11,411
Hi, honey.
1050
01:32:12,120 --> 01:32:14,122
Here is your Ashland box.
1051
01:32:15,280 --> 01:32:19,604
Enjoy some well-deserved rest,
but don't overdo it, okay?
1052
01:32:20,600 --> 01:32:22,568
Still a lot to hike, no?
1053
01:32:24,320 --> 01:32:26,163
I had said you can quit anytime.
1054
01:32:27,760 --> 01:32:29,489
But I take it back.
1055
01:32:29,680 --> 01:32:32,445
Call me when you get
to the finish line.
1056
01:32:33,280 --> 01:32:35,123
Love and kisses, Aimee.
1057
01:32:36,360 --> 01:32:37,566
As it were your own
1058
01:32:37,640 --> 01:32:39,847
It's a hand-me-down
1059
01:32:41,960 --> 01:32:44,440
The thoughts are broken
1060
01:32:46,160 --> 01:32:49,323
Perhaps they're better
1061
01:32:50,720 --> 01:32:53,451
Left unsung
1062
01:33:01,400 --> 01:33:03,004
I don't know
1063
01:33:05,280 --> 01:33:06,691
I don't really care
1064
01:33:06,760 --> 01:33:08,000
Do I know you?
1065
01:33:08,880 --> 01:33:10,086
Thanks.
1066
01:33:10,160 --> 01:33:13,130
Let there be song
1067
01:33:14,400 --> 01:33:16,482
To fill the air
1068
01:33:18,000 --> 01:33:23,131
Ripple in still water
1069
01:33:24,840 --> 01:33:28,526
When there is no pebble tossed
1070
01:33:29,040 --> 01:33:32,203
Nor wind to blow
1071
01:35:02,800 --> 01:35:04,086
Dear Paul,
1072
01:35:04,920 --> 01:35:08,083
I woke up this morning
and wrote your name in the sand.
1073
01:35:08,920 --> 01:35:12,686
I've done that on every beach I've been on
ever since I met you.
1074
01:35:13,360 --> 01:35:15,601
But I'm not going to do it again.
1075
01:35:16,400 --> 01:35:18,209
I'm ready to move on.
1076
01:35:19,760 --> 01:35:21,922
Baby, baby, be my friend
1077
01:35:23,680 --> 01:35:26,411
I have only another 300 miles left to walk.
1078
01:35:28,320 --> 01:35:30,243
I'm desperate for it to be over.
1079
01:35:33,240 --> 01:35:35,163
But I'm terrified, too.
1080
01:35:36,800 --> 01:35:38,404
When I'm done...
1081
01:35:38,640 --> 01:35:41,041
I'll only have two dimes to my name.
1082
01:35:42,320 --> 01:35:44,561
But I'll have to start living.
1083
01:35:47,440 --> 01:35:49,488
And I'm nowhere near ready.
1084
01:36:07,000 --> 01:36:08,684
Please! Sir, wait!
1085
01:36:09,520 --> 01:36:11,170
I just closed.
1086
01:36:18,840 --> 01:36:21,127
I think you have a package for me in there?
1087
01:36:21,200 --> 01:36:22,964
Could it wait until tomorrow?
1088
01:36:23,040 --> 01:36:26,283
It has fresh clothes and food,
and batteries I need.
1089
01:36:29,520 --> 01:36:30,760
Okay.
1090
01:36:31,840 --> 01:36:33,763
If you'll have a drink with me later.
1091
01:36:36,000 --> 01:36:37,001
Sure.
1092
01:36:42,840 --> 01:36:44,365
There you go, good-looking.
1093
01:36:45,400 --> 01:36:46,526
Thanks.
1094
01:36:47,600 --> 01:36:48,825
You like punch?
1095
01:36:49,240 --> 01:36:52,483
I make a good one.
I throw every liquor I can find into a bucket
1096
01:36:52,560 --> 01:36:54,847
and I pour a couple of cans
of juice on top.
1097
01:36:55,240 --> 01:36:56,651
Sounds good.
1098
01:37:02,400 --> 01:37:03,561
- Cheryl?
- Yeah.
1099
01:37:03,640 --> 01:37:05,005
- Oh, my God.
- We're closed, guys.
1100
01:37:05,080 --> 01:37:07,003
- "If your nerve deny you...
- "go above your nerve."
1101
01:37:07,080 --> 01:37:09,003
- Emily Dickinson.
- Yes.
1102
01:37:09,080 --> 01:37:12,482
"I have promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep."
1103
01:37:12,560 --> 01:37:13,641
Walt Whitman?
1104
01:37:13,720 --> 01:37:15,324
No, that was Robert Frost.
1105
01:37:15,400 --> 01:37:17,323
The Whitman was,
"Be curious, not judgmental."
1106
01:37:17,400 --> 01:37:18,640
Yes.
1107
01:37:18,720 --> 01:37:21,166
"God is a ruthless bitch."
You left the name off.
1108
01:37:21,240 --> 01:37:23,083
- That one was me.
- You're our hero.
1109
01:37:23,160 --> 01:37:25,128
Okay, fellas, I'm shutting up now.
1110
01:37:25,200 --> 01:37:27,009
We just wanted to pick up our post?
1111
01:37:27,080 --> 01:37:29,401
No. I'm sorry. l already reopened
for the young lady here.
1112
01:37:29,480 --> 01:37:30,606
And I'm not gonna reopen again.
1113
01:37:30,680 --> 01:37:31,806
But you wouldn't really have to reopen
1114
01:37:31,880 --> 01:37:33,086
because you haven't closed yet.
1115
01:37:33,400 --> 01:37:35,164
And their packages are right there.
1116
01:37:35,240 --> 01:37:36,605
It's such a miserable night.
1117
01:37:36,680 --> 01:37:39,331
Whatever's in them is gonna make the night
just that much better.
1118
01:37:39,400 --> 01:37:40,731
Do you mind?
1119
01:37:46,800 --> 01:37:48,370
That your horse?
1120
01:37:48,440 --> 01:37:49,441
If you want to take her out
1121
01:37:49,520 --> 01:37:50,885
in the morning, she could do with it.
1122
01:37:51,120 --> 01:37:54,681
Hey, so the campsite, is it left?
Left, right?
1123
01:37:54,760 --> 01:37:55,966
Yeah.
1124
01:37:56,960 --> 01:37:58,962
Good night! I'll see you in the morning.
1125
01:38:04,760 --> 01:38:05,886
Number one and number two.
1126
01:38:08,640 --> 01:38:09,846
Just a little. Just a little.
1127
01:38:13,360 --> 01:38:14,361
Wonderful!
1128
01:38:14,800 --> 01:38:17,007
So, Cheryl, how do you deal with
1129
01:38:17,120 --> 01:38:18,281
being on your own all the time?
1130
01:38:18,360 --> 01:38:21,409
I mean, we're with each other
and we're still sick of ourselves.
1131
01:38:22,560 --> 01:38:24,801
No. I've been to most of the places
in my head that
1132
01:38:26,320 --> 01:38:28,641
I didn't want to go to,
but I feel like there's
1133
01:38:28,720 --> 01:38:32,884
one or two that,
for whatever reason, I just...
1134
01:38:32,960 --> 01:38:34,325
I hear you.
1135
01:38:34,600 --> 01:38:38,969
There's a few girlfriends
that I'm in no hurry to think about again.
1136
01:38:42,120 --> 01:38:44,930
I think I know exactly
who you're talking about. Right?
1137
01:38:46,160 --> 01:38:48,561
I don't want to talk
about this right now.
1138
01:38:51,160 --> 01:38:54,050
Not again! Good night!
1139
01:39:13,040 --> 01:39:15,008
Just please try to do the kindest thing.
1140
01:39:28,880 --> 01:39:30,882
We don't have to do this.
1141
01:39:36,400 --> 01:39:39,529
She's been really sick
for a long time.
1142
01:39:40,960 --> 01:39:43,247
There has to be another way.
1143
01:39:44,400 --> 01:39:46,721
We don't have the money
to do it right.
1144
01:39:46,800 --> 01:39:48,404
We can't go to a vet.
1145
01:39:52,920 --> 01:39:55,446
Leif, she's just going
to die slowly and painfully.
1146
01:40:00,840 --> 01:40:03,081
Just please do the kindest thing.
1147
01:41:06,200 --> 01:41:07,964
Hey, brother, it's me.
1148
01:41:08,280 --> 01:41:10,681
Look, I know we don't have a home
to go back to, but...
1149
01:41:11,080 --> 01:41:14,129
I want you to know
I'm pulling you along with me.
1150
01:41:15,000 --> 01:41:17,162
It's been really hard, but
1151
01:41:17,840 --> 01:41:19,604
do me a favor, okay?
1152
01:41:20,360 --> 01:41:21,885
Walk a little?
1153
01:41:26,160 --> 01:41:27,491
I love you.
1154
01:41:28,800 --> 01:41:29,847
Bye.
1155
01:41:32,800 --> 01:41:33,881
Hey, good-looking.
1156
01:41:35,200 --> 01:41:37,601
I brought you coffee and a donut,
fresh this morning.
1157
01:41:37,680 --> 01:41:39,091
Thanks. Really.
1158
01:41:40,680 --> 01:41:43,445
Why don't you come by for a refill
before you head off?
1159
01:41:43,520 --> 01:41:45,045
I will. Thanks.
1160
01:41:45,960 --> 01:41:47,007
Good morning, fellas.
1161
01:41:48,160 --> 01:41:49,844
- Morning.
- Morning.
1162
01:41:55,080 --> 01:41:57,082
So, you got a trail name?
1163
01:41:57,900 --> 01:41:59,204
You know, like a nickname.
1164
01:41:59,280 --> 01:42:01,089
We've got one for you.
1165
01:42:01,520 --> 01:42:03,443
- Really.
- Queen of the PCT.
1166
01:42:04,320 --> 01:42:05,367
Come on.
1167
01:42:05,440 --> 01:42:07,124
You've just got so many stories
1168
01:42:07,200 --> 01:42:09,771
about people doing things for you
and wanting to help you out.
1169
01:42:09,840 --> 01:42:12,081
I mean, nobody ever gives us anything.
1170
01:42:12,160 --> 01:42:14,128
No one ever does anything for us, in fact.
1171
01:42:14,200 --> 01:42:17,727
But please, please,
come and get your refill, Your Majesty.
1172
01:42:17,800 --> 01:42:20,121
Yeah, Your Majesty doesn't really go for refills.
1173
01:42:20,200 --> 01:42:21,884
Refills typically come to her.
1174
01:42:21,960 --> 01:42:22,961
Exactly.
1175
01:42:30,200 --> 01:42:31,565
Dude, stop.
1176
01:42:32,600 --> 01:42:35,206
Stop. Now I'm going to have that song
stuck in my head
1177
01:42:35,280 --> 01:42:37,089
for the next hundred fucking miles.
1178
01:42:37,880 --> 01:42:39,689
- Would you prefer I just--
- Don't.
1179
01:42:40,880 --> 01:42:42,041
Don't.
1180
01:42:48,640 --> 01:42:50,483
And I said hey, hey, hey...
1181
01:42:50,600 --> 01:42:51,806
Shut up, man.
1182
01:42:53,880 --> 01:42:55,848
Shut up! I'm serious.
1183
01:42:57,960 --> 01:42:59,610
I said, hey!
1184
01:43:00,040 --> 01:43:01,644
What's going on?
1185
01:43:01,720 --> 01:43:02,926
Get him. Get him!
1186
01:43:07,520 --> 01:43:08,646
I'll get you soaked!
1187
01:43:08,720 --> 01:43:10,927
I said hey, what's going on?
1188
01:43:13,200 --> 01:43:16,602
I'd rather be a forest than a street
1189
01:43:41,280 --> 01:43:42,645
It's okay.
1190
01:43:43,160 --> 01:43:44,605
You're safe.
1191
01:43:46,640 --> 01:43:47,971
It's okay.
1192
01:43:56,760 --> 01:43:58,364
You're all right.
1193
01:43:59,000 --> 01:44:00,570
Don't be scared.
1194
01:44:00,640 --> 01:44:03,484
You got him! Thanks!
1195
01:44:11,740 --> 01:44:12,805
Thanks.
1196
01:44:13,800 --> 01:44:14,801
Does he have a name?
1197
01:44:14,880 --> 01:44:16,245
Shooting Star.
1198
01:44:16,320 --> 01:44:17,401
Shooting Star?
1199
01:44:17,520 --> 01:44:19,602
And I'm Vera, and this is Kyle.
1200
01:44:21,120 --> 01:44:24,169
I'm Cheryl. Are you enjoying your hike today?
1201
01:44:24,240 --> 01:44:27,483
I'm having a wonderful time,
thank you very much for asking.
1202
01:44:27,560 --> 01:44:29,210
You're so polite.
1203
01:44:29,360 --> 01:44:32,011
We're just out for the weekend,
rain or no.
1204
01:44:32,080 --> 01:44:33,127
Yeah.
1205
01:44:33,200 --> 01:44:34,247
Vera's my grandmom.
1206
01:44:34,320 --> 01:44:36,607
She's looking after me
because I have some problems
1207
01:44:36,680 --> 01:44:38,842
I'm not supposed to talk about with strangers.
1208
01:44:43,760 --> 01:44:46,491
Well, you don't have to talk about them.
1209
01:44:46,920 --> 01:44:50,561
But, you know, everybody has problems.
I have problems, too.
1210
01:44:50,880 --> 01:44:52,689
What kinds of problems?
1211
01:44:53,040 --> 01:44:56,726
Well, I mean,
I have problems with my dad.
1212
01:44:57,280 --> 01:44:58,884
I don't see him anymore.
1213
01:44:58,960 --> 01:45:01,725
Me, neither. What about your mommy?
1214
01:45:04,400 --> 01:45:05,686
She died.
1215
01:45:09,880 --> 01:45:12,724
But, you know, problems don't stay problems.
1216
01:45:13,080 --> 01:45:14,923
They turn into something else.
1217
01:45:16,240 --> 01:45:17,730
How did she die?
1218
01:45:20,800 --> 01:45:22,529
She got very sick.
1219
01:45:23,400 --> 01:45:26,563
My mother's a singer.
She's taught me many songs.
1220
01:45:27,280 --> 01:45:28,327
Oh, really?
1221
01:45:28,480 --> 01:45:30,562
Would you like to hear one?
1222
01:45:30,760 --> 01:45:31,841
Yeah.
1223
01:45:32,320 --> 01:45:36,484
From this valley
they say you are leaving
1224
01:45:37,240 --> 01:45:41,165
We shall miss your bright eyes
and sweet smile
1225
01:45:41,960 --> 01:45:46,249
For you take with you
all of the sunshine
1226
01:45:46,600 --> 01:45:50,730
That has brightened our pathway a while
1227
01:45:51,280 --> 01:45:55,205
Then come and sit by my side
if you love me
1228
01:45:55,800 --> 01:45:59,282
Do not hasten to bid me adieu
1229
01:45:59,960 --> 01:46:03,885
Just remember the Red River Valley
1230
01:46:04,160 --> 01:46:08,131
And the cowboy that loved you so true
1231
01:46:08,720 --> 01:46:12,964
Just remember the Red River Valley
1232
01:46:13,360 --> 01:46:17,285
And the cowboy that loved you so true
1233
01:46:19,480 --> 01:46:20,766
That was really beautiful.
1234
01:46:22,480 --> 01:46:23,811
Thank you.
1235
01:46:58,160 --> 01:46:59,491
I miss you.
1236
01:47:03,840 --> 01:47:05,490
God, I miss you.
1237
01:47:23,680 --> 01:47:24,886
There's no way to know what makes
1238
01:47:25,000 --> 01:47:27,571
one thing happen and not another.
1239
01:47:29,600 --> 01:47:31,329
What leads to what.
1240
01:47:32,800 --> 01:47:34,529
What destroys what.
1241
01:47:36,240 --> 01:47:38,322
What causes what to flourish.
1242
01:47:39,040 --> 01:47:40,246
Or die.
1243
01:47:41,040 --> 01:47:42,963
Or take another course.
1244
01:47:46,720 --> 01:*****,722
What if I forgive myself?
1245
01:47:51,040 --> 01:47:52,849
What if I was sorry?
1246
01:47:54,560 --> 01:47:56,881
But if I could go back in time,
1247
01:47:57,040 --> 01:47:59,247
I wouldn't do a single thing differently.
1248
01:48:02,880 --> 01:48:05,929
What if I wanted to sleep
with every single one of those men?
1249
01:48:07,840 --> 01:48:09,763
What if heroin taught me something?
1250
01:48:14,880 --> 01:48:18,248
What if all those things I did
were the things that got me here?
1251
01:48:21,800 --> 01:48:24,406
What if I was never redeemed?
1252
01:48:27,040 --> 01:48:29,168
What if I already was?
1253
01:48:47,560 --> 01:48:50,643
It took me years
to be the woman my mother raised.
1254
01:48:52,600 --> 01:48:56,161
It took me four years,
seven months and three days to do it.
1255
01:48:57,360 --> 01:48:58,964
Without her.
1256
01:49:01,440 --> 01:49:04,649
After I lost myself
in the wilderness of my grief,
1257
01:49:06,280 --> 01:49:08,282
I found my way out of the woods.
1258
01:49:16,800 --> 01:49:17,961
And I didn't even know
where I was going
1259
01:49:18,040 --> 01:49:20,691
until I got there
on the last day of my hike.
1260
01:49:22,960 --> 01:49:26,407
Thank you, I thought over and over again,
1261
01:49:26,960 --> 01:49:28,724
for everything the trail had taught me,
1262
01:49:29,080 --> 01:49:31,560
and everything I couldn't yet know.
1263
01:49:36,000 --> 01:49:38,367
How, in four years,
I'd cross this very bridge.
1264
01:49:39,320 --> 01:49:43,405
I'd marry a man in a spot almost visible
from where I was standing.
1265
01:49:45,000 --> 01:49:46,889
How, in nine years, that man and I
1266
01:49:46,960 --> 01:49:49,088
would have a son named Carver,
1267
01:49:49,160 --> 01:49:53,324
and a year later,
a daughter named after my mother, Bobbi.
1268
01:49:56,840 --> 01:49:58,126
I knew only that I didn't need to
1269
01:49:58,200 --> 01:50:00,601
reach with my bare hands anymore.
1270
01:50:00,720 --> 01:50:04,441
That seeing the fish
beneath the surface of the water was enough.
1271
01:50:04,800 --> 01:50:07,167
That it was everything.
1272
01:50:08,480 --> 01:50:11,370
My life, like all lives,
1273
01:50:12,880 --> 01:50:16,043
mysterious, irrevocable and sacred.
1274
01:50:17,520 --> 01:50:19,045
So very close.
1275
01:50:21,160 --> 01:50:22,764
So very present.
1276
01:50:25,360 --> 01:50:27,328
So very belonging to me.
1277
01:50:29,560 --> 01:50:32,564
How wild it was... to let it be.
1278
01:50:33,720 --> 01:50:38,567
I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail
1279
01:50:39,520 --> 01:50:41,921
Yes, I would
1280
01:50:42,840 --> 01:50:45,241
If I could
1281
01:50:45,640 --> 01:50:48,723
I surely would
1282
01:50:53,200 --> 01:50:58,650
I'd rather be a hammer than a nail
1283
01:50:59,080 --> 01:51:01,321
Yes, I would
1284
01:51:01,840 --> 01:51:04,446
If I only could
1285
01:51:05,040 --> 01:51:07,725
I surely would
1286
01:51:12,600 --> 01:51:17,527
Away, I'd rather sail away
1287
01:51:18,600 --> 01:51:21,206
Like a swan
1288
01:51:21,320 --> 01:51:24,722
That's here and gone
1289
01:51:25,520 --> 01:51:30,401
A man gets tied up to the ground
1290
01:51:31,120 --> 01:51:34,249
He gives the world
1291
01:51:34,360 --> 01:51:40,083
Its saddest sound
1292
01:51:48,120 --> 01:51:52,489
I'd rather be a forest than a street
1293
01:51:54,280 --> 01:51:56,760
Yes, I would
1294
01:51:57,560 --> 01:52:00,450
If I could
1295
01:52:00,520 --> 01:52:03,251
I surely would
1296
01:52:04,480 --> 01:52:08,690
I'd rather feel the earth beneath my feet
1297
01:52:10,440 --> 01:52:13,284
Yes, I would
1298
01:52:13,360 --> 01:52:16,603
If I only could
1299
01:52:16,680 --> 01:52:19,604
I surely would
1300
01:53:06,520 --> 01:53:08,522
As the sun comes up
1301
01:53:08,600 --> 01:53:10,648
As the moon goes down
1302
01:53:10,760 --> 01:53:15,084
These heavy notions creep around
1303
01:53:15,160 --> 01:53:18,004
It makes me think
1304
01:53:19,040 --> 01:53:20,804
Long ago
1305
01:53:23,440 --> 01:53:26,011
I was brought into this life
1306
01:53:26,200 --> 01:53:31,206
A little lamb, a little lamb
1307
01:53:31,560 --> 01:53:34,803
Courageous, stumbling
1308
01:53:35,440 --> 01:53:39,206
Fearless was my middle name
1309
01:53:39,520 --> 01:53:44,287
But somewhere there
I lost my way
1310
01:53:44,440 --> 01:53:48,490
Everyone walks the same
1311
01:53:48,560 --> 01:53:52,724
Expecting me to step
1312
01:53:52,960 --> 01:53:57,329
The narrow path they've laid
1313
01:53:57,400 --> 01:54:02,122
They claim to walk unafraid
1314
01:54:02,200 --> 01:54:06,444
I'll be clumsy instead
1315
01:54:06,520 --> 01:54:11,924
Hold me, love me or leave me
1316
01:54:12,440 --> 01:54:15,569
High
1317
01:54:16,280 --> 01:54:20,490
Say keep within the boundaries
1318
01:54:21,200 --> 01:54:24,170
If you want to play
1319
01:54:25,120 --> 01:54:31,127
Say contradiction only makes it harder
1320
01:54:33,640 --> 01:54:36,484
How can I be
1321
01:54:38,680 --> 01:54:41,729
What I want to be?
1322
01:54:43,520 --> 01:54:49,004
When all I want to do
is strip away
1323
01:54:49,080 --> 01:54:51,208
These stilled constraints
1324
01:54:51,320 --> 01:54:54,767
And crush this charade
1325
01:54:54,840 --> 01:54:59,129
Shred this sad masquerade
1326
01:54:59,200 --> 01:55:04,286
I don't need no persuading
1327
01:55:04,360 --> 01:55:08,922
I'll trip, fall, pick myself up and
1328
01:55:09,000 --> 01:55:12,243
Walk unafraid
1329
01:55:12,320 --> 01:55:16,006
I'll be clumsy instead
1330
01:55:16,360 --> 01:55:21,890
Hold me, love me or leave me
1331
01:55:22,200 --> 01:55:25,568
High
1331
01:55:26,305 --> 01:56:26,478
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