All language subtitles for The Remake 2016 DVDRip x264

No, no, and no.

How many times do I
have to tell you, Sinclair?

This is not
a traditional remake.

We're not just updating
wardrobe, hairstyles,
and dialogue.

Yes, we're using
the same basic premise,

but this is
a complete rewrite.

I guarantee you that it will
appeal to all those baby boomers

who practically
made "Passport to Love"

a cult classic.

My God, half the babies born
in '79 were either named

Jennifer or Gianni
after our two leads.

I hear what you're saying.
I just have a hard time

believing that it will
do much at the box office

in this day and age.

Need I remind you, this is one
of the biggest grossing films

in decades?

It's a no brainer.
It's low budget.

The studios stand
to make millions,

and not just from
its theatrical release here,

but from foreign
distribution,

DVDs, VODs.

That age bracket
is sick to death

of all these huge
superhero blockbusters.

What they're looking for
are real relatable stories

with blended families,
and characters

just like themselves.

I don't know, Frank.

- Are those two
even around?
-Yes.

Our two leads
are still alive and kicking.

Wasn't there something about
bad blood between those two?

Do they even know
what you have planned?

No, I haven't had a chance
to tell them yet

that they'll
be working together

and that we're actually doing
a remake of the earlier film.

- It just didn't seem--
-
That doesn't sound healthy.

Let me handle this.

those two were paired up.

I had a three picture deal,
remember?

Blacklisted for years

because my new young
Italian stud muffin

was nowhere to be found midway
though picture number two.

But that was--
that was then.

This is now.

I got them both coming in here
tomorrow to read.

I'm sure we can handle
whatever happened personally

between the two of them.

It's ancient history,
for God's sake.

Look, I think I'm gonna
need some assurance.

Yes, yes, I will put them
on tape for you.

God forbid you don't
cover your ass.

All the rest of ours
are out there

swinging in the breeze.

Well, just as long
as you keep me posted.

Yes, yes, I will let
you know how it went.

I'm hanging up now.
Good-bye.

Good-bye, Sinclair.
Good-bye.

( sighs )
God help us if those two
haven't moved on.

( phone rings )

Hi, sweetie.
How's the traffic?

Hi, Mom. Hey, how did you
know I'm driving?

This is L.A.
Everyone's always driving.

What's up?

Just calling
to check on you.

- How was your flight?
- Good for a change.

Definitely helps
to have the studio

spring for first class.

Still not what it used to be,
but easier than a yoga position

in coach for five hours.

How's Maxie?

- Hey, Max, say hi
to your grandma.
- Hi, Nana.

Hi, Maxie.
We still on for tomorrow?

Can we stop in the video game
store on the way back?

Excuse me, young man,
your grandma wants to spend

quality time with you
and all you can think about

is burying your nose
in the latest Tomb Raider?

Oh, Lori, lighten up.
It's okay.

That's what
grandparents are for.

And I hate
to break it to you,

but we moved on
to Minecraft months ago.

Whatever. You and Dad
totally ruined him for me

that summer
he went back to visit.

Made me learn to hate
a great female hero, too.

God, I used to love
watching the two of them

get so excited
about a new game.

( sighs )

He would
be so proud of Max

to see how much he's grown
in only a year and a half.

Yeah, he would,
wouldn't he?

Hey, Mom, you up
for company tonight?

We could stop by,
take you out for pizza.

Yay, pizza!
We hardly ever get pizza.

Oh, thank you, honey,

but I'm still a little
frazzled from the trip,

and I've gotta
go over these lines.

Sure, Mom.
Maybe tomorrow night

when I pick up Max
at your place.

And we want to hear all about
this big audition of yours.

Say good-bye
to Grandma, Max.

Bye, Nana.

Bye, my sweet prince.

( phone ringing )

Hello, Jeremy here.

Ciao, Jeremy,
It's Riccardo.

Hey, Riccardo!
Glad you could make it.

You all psyched
and ready for tomorrow?

Well, as ready
as I can, I guess.

Say, Jeremy, this guy-- I read
the part that Mark sent me
on the way here.

He is "ethnically ambiguous."
What the hell is that?

Do you know if he told them
that I am Italian?

Yeah, I took the call personally
from some suit at the studio.

Wanted to know if we still
repped you here in the States.

When I told him,
"Si, Señor,"

he said he wanted to see you
as soon as he can.

How cool is that, huh?

None of us had even heard
about this gig before he called.

Now the buzz is it's huge.

Major studio backing,

big time distribution deal
all lined up.

That makes me feel
a lot better.

You know, Mark
didn't tell me much.

Is he still there?

He gave me the keys, but I--

No, no, no, he split
about an hour ago,

said something
about his grandkids' games.

Oh, that's too bad.

I just wanted to find out
more about tomorrow.

Oh, hey, I almost forgot.

Somebody down
in the lunchroom today

told me that you were really
hot shit back in the day.

You know,
when you were young.

( chuckling )
Who knew?

Oh, that's just
totally awesome, man.

Oh, great, Jeremy.

Just let me know,
and tell Mark

that I arrived safely,
if he calls.

Yeah, sure thing, man.

- Miss O'Connor?
- Yes.

Oh, please,
call me Sheridan.

No matter
how old I get,

I still look
over my shoulder
for my mother

- every time I hear
"Miss O'Connor."
- Sheridan, then.

I'm Derrick. I'm gonna
be helping Mr. Zelski

and Mr. Teschner
with your audition today.

Super! Will you be
reading with me, too?

I looked around, I didn't see
any age-appropriate men

that might play
the part of my lover.

Hey! Maybe you could play
my handsome co-star.

Why don't we let
Frank decide that?

- Okay.
- You all set?

- Ready to go?
- Sure.

Follow me.

Sheridan! Sheridan! Ah!

It's been way too long.
Let me look at you.

Wow!

Age does have
its privilege.

At least
for some of us.

That vintage bottle
I've been saving,

has nothing on you.

Hey, guys,
didn't I tell you?

Isn't she just as lovely
as the first time

we shot the original
"Passport to Love."

Gorgeous.
Just gorgeous.

Um, what's up
with the ambush?

I thought we were gonna keep
this kinda low key.

Yeah.

Hey guys, Sheridan's
absolutely right.

I promised her
a quiet script read.

Here I am getting
ahead of myself.

Why don't you all
just take a little break
for a few minutes,

grab a coffee in
the conference room

while we get
reacquainted, okay?

Derrick, could you
just show them

where the conference room
is, please??

Mark, if you want
to just give us
five minutes.

Sure, Frank.

You know, Frank, I haven't even
seen the entire script.

It's a good thing
I trust you,

although in the interest
of the viewing public,

I doubt you'd try to sneak in
any nude sex scenes at my age.

Thanks again, Sheridan.

I can't tell you how happy I am
you're on board with all this.

I'll have legal
get in touch with Saul

and we can iron out
the details.

I'm sure the studio will insist
on a little chemistry read

between you and your co-star,

but as far as I'm concerned,
it's just a formality.

You know, I haven't had any
problem working with any actor

since that randy Roman
back in our first film.

Well, give Saul a call
when you need me.

I'll be here.

Great, thanks.

A little chemistry read.
Playing with fire, are we?

Yeah, well, I wasn't
quite ready to go there yet.

Better keep
an extinguisher handy.

- Anybody home?
- Hey, we're in here, honey!

Ah-ha!
Hey there, Maxie.

Mmm, hi, Mom.

So what are you
and Nana up to?

We're drawing on cups

and then Nana says
we're gonna bake them,

so the drawings
never ever come off.

Well, I'm not so sure
about the "never ever" part.

We'll have to see
what the dishwasher
does with them.

But the Internet article
did say it's permanent.

Well, if the Internet
said it,

it must be true.

You okay, honey?

You look a little tired.

Nah, I'm good.

Just overextended.

Dr. Kaufmann
getting ready to retire,

so having me squeeze in
all her patients, too,

many of whom
are transgender.

They have more questions
than usual,

and eat up my time.

What? Mom, we've gone
through this before.

One, sexuality
is a part of life
and a part of my work.

I want my son to grow up
caring for others
without bias.

And I'd rather he hear
about it from me.

Well, I don't remember
you having any shortage

of compassion,

and I don't remember us
discussing it

around the dinner table either.

It's okay, Nana.

I know there are
all types of people,

or um...

orientations.

Mom says I'll understand
it all when I'm older.

Well, she's right,

and it's just because I care
about you and your mommy.

I guess what you
and dad did stuck with me,

because I can't seem
to turn anyone away.

Something's gotta give.

I'm gonna look for another
partner when Ana leaves.

Oh, I think
that's a good idea.

Plus this way
it'll give me more time

- to spend
with this little guy!
- Mom!

But enough about me.
How was your audition?

Well, if I may
be so modest,

you are now looking
at Jennifer Graves,

a professor of music
at Harvard,

and the lead in a new
Frank Zelski production

with Cinematic Studio.

Ah, wow,
that's great, Mom!

They already told you?

Yeah, I was
a little surprised.

I mean, Frank and I
go way back,

but we haven't been
in touch that much,

and, you know, the only
big thing we did together

was that co-ed film,
"Passport to Love"

when I was just
starting out.

Hmm, my name was Jenny
in that one, too.

Frank must really have
something for the name Jennifer.

The scene I got was clever
and kind of witty,

so I'm hoping
romantic comedy.

Lori:
I guess you'll find out when you
read the rest of the script.

Yeah, I sure would like
to have a look at it before
the chemistry read.

Chemistry read?
That's a new one.

Ah, old Hollywood
tradition.

They want to make sure that
the two leads have "chemistry,"

before they put
in the big bucks.

Personally, I think
it's a bunch of dirty old men

that just like to see
pretty girls being kissed,

but there will be
a big surprise with us

when they see
two old farts up there.

Grandma, you said
a bad word.

Uh, you're right, Maxie, and I
shouldn't use that word either.

Now that Grandpa Sam's
gone to heaven,

does that mean you're gonna kiss
somebody else?

No, sweetie,
not like Grandpa.

( sighing )
I mean, it'll be a pretend kiss
like in the movies.

Grandpa would understand.

So, anybody up
for pizza?

Hey, hey, hey,
there he is.

- Oh, you look good.
- Say, you look good, too.

International travel
must agree with you.

Sorry I had to cut out so early
before you got up this morning.

- Did you get
settled all right?
- Oh, yeah, sure, no problem.

Thanks for letting me
stay again,

and that ride of yours
is almost as good
as an Italian car.

Almost.

- So how have you been, Mike?
- Good, I'm-- I'm very good,

Riccardo, I am, uh...

Oh, who am I
bullshitting here?

You know, things
have been better.

They're circling
like the vultures

just waiting
for me to retire.

I got that call from Zelski,
really made my day.

- So, how did it go?
- Good evening, gentlemen.

My name is Julian.
I'll be your waiter
for this evening.

Can I get you guys
started with a drink
from the bar,

or some sparkling water
for the table, maybe?

Yes, I'll have a Cinzano
on the rocks with lemon,

- and a Pellegrino
with no ice, please.
- Okay.

A vodka martini for me
and tap water's fine.

Got it.
I'll be right back.

I love you Californians.

Always worried
about the environment

until you get outside
and you see what kind

of car everybody's driving.

So, let's see,
where were we?

Ah, the audition, yes.

It's been a while
since you've seen Zelski, huh?

I haven't seen him since
we did that teen movie.

You know, that movie
made his career,

but he never had
the decency to call me again.

I was tempted not to come,

but I couldn't resist.

It's like, um--

what was it
that you used to say?

- Nature of the beast.
- The nature of the beast.

That's it.

You know,
Hollywood calls,
and we jump.

We never know when the next
big break is gonna come from.

Absolutely.

Well, I'm glad you did come

and not because
I'm just gonna negotiate

a really sweet deal
with Cinematic for you.

You know, you do realize that
"Passport to Love"

also made your career?

And if I recall correctly,
you had just signed

a three-picture deal with Zelski
before you ran out on everyone.

That could be part
of the reason

why he hasn't gotten back
to you sooner.

That's ancient history,
especially in Hollywood.

Don't tell me that anybody can
keep a grudge that many years.

I don't know, sometimes it's not
that easy to forgive and forget.

Here are your drinks, gentlemen.

- Thank you, sir.
- Thank you.

Mr. Rossi, I've always been
a huge fan of yours,

I'm a struggling actor
myself, actually.

I just have this job
to pay the bills,

and I'm open if you might
have any advice for me.

Well, yeah, sure.

But you know, I think
the best advice I can give you

is never ask for advice
from another actor,

besides being
the competition.

What you need to do
is talk to the people

that have
the contacts here,

you know,
the puppet masters.

You know,
like the agents

and managers,
and producers.

These are the people
that can really get you working
in this town.

Julian:
Thanks.

Yeah, thanks.

- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

It's all fine
and good, Saul.

I said I'd go.

I just wanted
to get a name.

Do my homework on this guy

before I have to go
in there tomorrow.

I hear you, doll,
they just wouldn't budge.

Well, we're not
exactly kids.

The mystery's not gonna
make it more exciting.

What can I tell you?

The pope's valet
has looser lips than these guys.

Nobody knows nothing?

We're talking Hollywood here,
the original WikiLeaks.

-
What's up with that?
- I'd tell you if I knew.

No, no you're right.
We go back too far
to play games.

Just ride this one out with me
a little longer, okay?

I'll go there
at 3:00 tomorrow,

but I'm not agreeing to anything
until I read the entire script.

Got it.

Call me as soon as you can.
I'm dying to know.

All right. I'll give you
a call tomorrow, Saul.

Bye.

We're in here.
I think you know most everyone.

Sheridan?

Frank!
How could you?

( speaking Italian )

- Sheridan! We need to--
- Now is not a good time, Frank.

Okay, I know
I handled that wrong,

I admit it, I get it.

You think?

Hey, I knew you two
had some kind of history

or some kind of falling out,
but that was like 30 years ago.

I can't believe you
still hold a grudge!

I mean, he seems
okay with it.

A falling out?
A grudge?

That's what you
think this is.

Not even close.

I would have
welcomed a chance

to obliterate
that man 30 years ago

and I'd do it again
in a flash.

Work with him?
Yeah, right.

When hell freezes over.

Okay, that went well.

♪ Had I only known

♪ There would be
no need to leave ♪

( phone rings )

♪ Had I only known

♪ You would have made
my life complete ♪

Pretty lady.

Your wife?

No, almost,
a century ago.

I see, so, she dumped you
for another guy way back when?

No, not really.
I screw up,

and I've been
regretting it ever since.

Well, I've certainly
have had my share
of disappointments.

Hey, why don't you
buy me a drink

and we'll drink
to loves lost?

No, young lady, I probably have
socks in my drawer at home

that are older than you, honey.

Maybe another time.

I don't think I would
be good company tonight.

Francisco,
buy this young lady

anything that she would
like to drink.

Sure thing, Mr. Rossi.

- What can I get
for you, Miss?
- Another white, please.

- Hi, Miss O'Connor.
- Hi, Patrick,
how are you today?

- Good, how are you?
- Good.

Has my sister
gotten here yet?

Ah, yeah, she opted
for the patio.

- Okay -- Ah, I see her.
Thanks.
- Okay.

Oh, my God, Aunt Peg!

Eileen didn't tell me
you were gonna be in town.

Oh, I wasn't planning
on coming until next week,

but Eileen made it
sound like the future

of civilization
was hanging in the balance

with your little film.

Oh, she did, did she?

Well, you know
Aunt Peg is just teasing.

I may have
casually mentioned

that that you had
just turned down

one of the best roles
you've been offered in years,

over some rotten
Tuscan grapes.

Tuscan grapes?

She may have
a point, dear.

I mean, how many
lifetimes ago was that?

It's just a movie,
for God's sake,

and you are an actress.

Okay, now I get it.

You guys got together,
right, and hooked up

to have
an intervention here?

Nice.

The only two people
in the whole world

that know what that man,
how he hurt me.

Here we go.
Can we ever just have
a normal conversation

instead of--
everything is about,

"Mom, Mom,
she's picking
on me again."

- You are a little bit
melodramatic, darling.
- Thank you.

What ever happened
to compassion?

Could I have
a little sympathy?

Oh, how I've burned out
all of my sympathy

three husbands ago.

And now I've moved on
to a more mindfulness approach.

I'm becoming mindful
of just how things

are going to affect--

You know, speaking
of self interest,

I was kind of hoping I'd be
on the receiving end this time.

I mean, come on, if this movie
is anything like "Passport" was

back in the Dark Ages, I could
be using that to my advantage

and get a lot of mileage out of
it.

Mileage?

( chuckling )
Don't you remember Nigel?

My gorgeous Brit, Nigel.

Aunt Peg,
it's the only time

I have ever lusted
over a six pack.

Oh!

Of course, he was only
hanging around

because of my sister's
"celebrity" status.

And then when she decided
to abandon Hollywood
for the stage,

he dropped my ass like it
was an outdated Android.

You are incorrigible
you know that?

I love you and I made
you smile, didn't I?

It's so much more
becoming on you

than that sour puss
you came in with.

Gee, nothing like having
a family together.

All I need now
is for Mom to show up.

Oh, speaking of which,
your mother knows

that you're back in town.

Hey, hey,
don't look at me.

Lori said she went
to see her last week.

I-- I don't have anything
to do with it. So there.

I had a visit from Saul.

He wanted me to convince you
to do this movie.

Wait, what-- Saul?

Oh, don't act so surprised.
Saul and I go way back.

Well, at least
a husband or two ago.

He wants desperately for you
to be in this movie,

and me to be in his bed.

Oh, Aunt Peg.

Everyone in Hollywood
has had Saul.

Uh!

I don't mean
to sound hurtful,

but nothing as good has come
along for you in years,

and now that this nasty little
thing called age has joined us,

it may not happen again.

So why-- why do you have
to be so stubborn?

I-- it's not about me. I mean,
what about Lori and Max?

Bullshit!

Lori-- Lori's an adult.
She'll get over it.

And Max, Max is a kid!

And you're not married.

Hell, you're not even
sleeping with him.

Oh, you know that's not
what I meant.

Oh, God, I spent
the last 30 years

trying to keep
a secret from Lori

about the relationship
I had with him,

and now I'm going to invite him
into our lives?

Oh, God, she'd be devastated
if she found out

I had a past with him
and I never told her.

She would be devastated
or you would be?

What's the matter, Sis,
you afraid that that halo

of yours might get tarnished
and Lori will finally

see through it
that there is a human?

( sighs )

Oh, hon, I'm sorry.
I mean that was low
for even me.

You think?

( sighs )

God, I mean, just the thought
of kissing him again

after he dumped me
like that, oh.

You know what the news media's
gonna do with this.

I'm gonna be a Hollywood
laughing stock again.

No one laughed before.

They pitied you.

Oh, gee, and that's supposed
to make me feel better?

I saw this picture,
the way he looks today,

I wouldn't kick him out

of my bed.

Use it to your advantage.
I mean, come on.

It's time to exact
a little revenge,

and, and you are--

I know, I know,
I'm an actress, so act.

Yes, yeah!

Yes.

- Family.
- Family.

Actress.

Good morning.
Did you sleep well?

No.

That jet lag thing--
still kicking my back.

Try "kicking my ass,"
or "kicking my butt."

Never mind.

I had Saul overnight these.

I figured I'd wait
till I could show you

all the dirty little details
before I told you about it.

The good news, Sheridan
has changed her mind.

Oh, now I'm supposed to thank
the Lady of Fatima, eh?

No, but her sister
had something to do with it.

Sheridan wasn't budging.
Evidently Eileen kept
chipping away at her

like one of those iceberg
breaking barges in Alaska.

- Finally she cracked.
- Ha! I thought she hated me,

a lot more than that witch
they call the mama.

- What can I tell you?
- I'm glad that she changed
her mind.

Yes, but I know
that the studio

wouldn't have done it
without the two of us.

If you're okay with this,
I'm okay with this.

Well, thanks for
the vote of confidence,

but you may not feel
like that after you read

some of the provisions
she put in here.

Reads more like
a restraining order

than it does
a talent contract.

You actually come off
a little like Jack the Ripper.

I know you guys
were a hot item
when you were teens

doing "Passport to Love,"

but what did you
do to this girl

to make her hate you
30 years later?

You know she's the one
that went to New York

and married some guy six months
after I was deported.

Yeah, well, I'm just saying.
It's gotta be something.

We're about five minutes out
from your next scene,
Miss O'Connor.

- Can I tell them
you'll be ready?
- Oh, absolutely, Chloe.

We're just finishing up.

That's -- oh, look a t-shirt
from my old movie.

It's just like the poster.

I can't believe they still
have those around.

Tell them
I'll be right there.

Got it, Miss O'Connor.

( sighs )

You know, you have been gnawing
on that bottom lip of yours

since you sat down
in my chair.

I've already redone
your lips twice.

If I didn't know
any better, honey,

I'd say you weren't
all too happy about
being here today.

Oh, Marty, you don't know
the half of it.

Ever see one of those
man hole covers in the center
of the street

and wish you could just crawl
under it and hide?

That's me.

Yowzah, girl,
you got it bad.

Just the name "manhole
cover" conjures up

all kinds of crazy ideas
in my pretty little head,

but that's
a whole other story.

Crawling down in some dank
and slimy sewer, uh-uh.

Too much of a lady for that.

What's got you
in such a tizzy anyway?

Those nasty rumors about you
and that Ricky Ricardo fella?

Was he really the bad boy
they say he was?

Doesn't do it for me.

Yeah, well, like I said,
you don't know the half of it.

Well, I saw you on stage
in a production of "Chicago,"

as Velma
a few years back.

If you can dish
like that,

honey, you should
be able to put a little

wanna-be playboy
like him in his place.

If you know what I mean.

You might be
on to something there.

You're the second person
that's told me to do just that.

What do you think?
Make him pay for his sins.

( purrs )

- How are we doing?
- Good.

Okay, everyone,
I think we are ready.

Thank you,
second team.

Can someone please
bring in the first team?

- Here you go,
Mr. Rossi.
- Thanks.

- Thank you, guys.
- Sure, Miss O'Connor.

Welcome, Sheridan.

- Riccardo.
- ( clears throat)

Okay, everyone,
listen up.

We're gonna run
through it once,

just like we did
in their separate
rehearsals

before we had our
lead actors together
on the set.

We're gonna go ahead
and shoot it

just to make sure we have
the lighting and the sound.

We're gonna
ease into it slow.

This is not like
the old days of film.

With digital we can do
as many takes as we want.

Remember to take a beat or two
before you approach the card,

I want to establish that she is
putting a book on the shelf,

she's looking
through some titles

before you actually
enter the frame.

Sure, sure, Frank, yeah.

Okay, good.

Rolling rehearsal.

- Full speed.
- Sound speed.

Rolling sound.

Scene one.
Take one A,
rehearsal.

Zelski:
And...

Action.

Excuse me,
do you have
this book?

Don't you have
your own library?

- Can't you answer a question?
- Answer mine first.

Well, I think I'm allowed
to come to the music library.

Well, we're not talking
legality here,

we're talking
about what's right.

Your general library
has over five million books.

Our little music library
only has in thousands.

I don't think
you understand.
I only want one book,

and I need it
for tomorrow's class.

Well, don't be pushy,
professor.

And how do you assume
that I am a professor?

And how do you know I don't
belong to the music school?

Well, you're far too old
to be a student,

and simply not clever enough
to be in this department.

Well, actually
I am a professor,

and certainly just as
intelligent as a librarian.

Well, actually I am
a professor of music,

and not a librarian,

and certainly
more intelligent.

And what makes you
more intelligent?

Well, I wouldn't go out
for coffee with you,

for starters.

I wouldn't ask you.

Well, see?
That's what makes you
less intelligent.

( groans )
American women!

Zelski:
And cut!

That was great.
That was-- that was great.

Um, now, Sheridan,

that was really good.

I liked how you kind of glared
at him over your glasses.

Um, but I'd like
to see a little more
of that playfulness

you had when we shot
the similar scene

in the original film.

You had obviously
been sizing him up,

checking him out
from across the room.

When he comes up, he thinks
you're the librarian,

and you want to tease him
to get his attention.

Do you think
you can do that?

Sure, Frank,
no problem.

Oh, and yes, would you mind
telling Miss O'Connor

that if she could look
at me in the eyes

when she delivers
her lines to me.

If you could tell Mr. Rossi,
if he could refrain

from leering
at me over the cart,

maybe I'd be able
to look him in the eye.

Actually, Riccardo,
Sheridan has a point.

I was gonna ask you to try not
to buy into it quite so quick.

You're initially taken aback
by this brash American woman

who seems
to be attacking you.

You're a little flustered,
but intrigued as you realize

just how attractive she is.

It isn't until she mentions
not going out with you

that you are aware that she
is flirting with you.

No, but I'm supposed
to be attracted to her.

Otherwise,
what's the point?

In the original,
we were attracted
to each other immediately.

Of course you're
attracted to her,
and to each other,

and your reactions
were great,

just like always.

I would just like to see
that light in your eyes

delayed a little
while you react
to her abruptness.

Can you do that?
Can you just stall
a little bit?

Yeah, sure Frank, yup.

Huh?

Okay, let's--
let's try a take.

Okay.

Let's try a take!

Scene one.
Take three.

Excuse me.

Cut.
Back to one, everybody.

( sighs )

Scene one.
Take six.

Okay, cut.

Let's try this again.

Put a little more energy
into it this time.

Scene one.
Take eight.

And action.

Excuse me.

Cut!

Try it again.

And what makes you
so superior?

Cause I'm bright enough
not to trust a smartass.

I wouldn't go out with you
if my life depended on it.

And who in the hell
would ask you out?

Cut, cut, cut.

Whoa, whoa, guys.

Come on. Jason,
can you clear the set?

Give us about
10 minutes here?

Take 10, people.
Clear the set, please.
Thank you.

Okay, folks.

Okay, guys,
let's have a little chat.

Frank, I'm sorry.

Had I known that this
lowlife son of a--

was going to get
under my skin like that,

but I had no idea he would be
so rude and unprofessional.

( speaking in Italian )

Okay, that's enough.

This was supposed
to be remake, not a rematch.

If you two kids can't
get along together

any better than this,

you're both going
to get a time out.

A time out?
What the hell
is a time out?

A time out is kinda like
a mini jail sentence
for kids, Riccardo.

You both get sent to your room
to reflect on your bad behavior.

If you feel you can be
civilized and act properly,

you are let out to mingle
among the general
population.

Now I have to warn you,
if you two can't assure me

that you can get along
and work together,

regardless of how much
I want this movie to be made,

I will shut it down so quickly
your heads will spin faster

than Linda Blair's
in "The Exorcist."

Is that what you want?

No.

No, Frank.

I didn't think so.

You're both professionals.

I really believe
we have something here,

but only if we can
work together.

Can you do that?

- Yes, we can.
- Yes.

Okay, then let's--
let's get back to work.

Jason! Can you please bring
everyone back to the set?

Jason: All right,
people, we're back.

Well, well, well.

I'll be damned.

No wonder Mom never wanted
to talk about it.

- Mr. Rossi.
- It's Riccardo, please.

- Or just Rick.
- Thank you for coming.

I know my request to meet
must have seemed a little odd,

but I hope you can answer
a few questions.

On the contrary,
I-- I was pleased.

I was always
very fond of your mother

and I should have
known her daughter

would be just
as lovely as Sheridan.

Hey, Lori,
good to see you again.

Just couldn't stay away?

Hi Alex.
Yeah, you know me
and bagels.

So, the usual
cinnamon raisin then?

No, you know what?

I'm gonna stick
to coffee for now,

but I'll take a few
to go later.

Oh, sorry, Alex,
this is Mr. Rossi.

Mr. Rossi, Alex.

It is a pleasure,
Mr. Rossi.

I was hoping that Lori
would introduce us.

My mom is a huge
fan of yours,

and all those old--
uh, Italian classics.

I grew up on them actually.

I-- well, as soon as I was able
to read subtitles, that is.

I recognized you immediately
when you walked in the door.

I've known Lori's mom
for years.

It's my pleasure.

- Alex, was it?
- Yes. Alexandra,
to be specific.

You can call me anything.

I'm not going to wash
this for a week.

Wait till I tell my mom.
She's gonna die.

- Sorry about that.
- That's all right.

I've been coming here
since I moved to L.A.

I don't know, reminds me
of New York, I guess.

I guess I know why.

Okay, here we go.
Let me know if you guys

change your mind
or need any bagels.

- Thanks, Alex.
- Thank you.

So, I guess
you're all wondering

why I've called
this meeting today?

Scusa?

No, it's just a joke-- sorry.
I'm just a little nervous.

I'm not quite sure how to ask
the things I want to know.

As you Americans like
to say, it's a long story,

but I think I can
explain what happened

and why your mother will not
talk to me still after 30 years.

So you actually haven't been
in touch all this time

while my mother
was married to my father?

No, not even emails.

Actually the very last time
that I spoke with your mother

was the morning that we were
supposed to get married,

back in 1979.

I don't mind telling you
that your mother broke my heart.

I think I still trying
to get over it.

What happened?
Did-- did you get
in a huge fight or something?

No, a fight, no, maybe
a little disagreement
like young people do.

Mostly about my jealousy,
now that I think about it,

but nothing big.

It must have been
something major

for her to break it off
on your wedding day.

It definitely doesn't
sound like my mother.

Well, not really.
Let me explain.

I was driving
the junk of a car
that I had

and it broke down
on Hollywood Boulevard,

so I picked up
my nice tuxedo,
rented tuxedo,

and the shiny shoes,

and Riccardo goes

to the closest bus stop,

without knowing, of course,
that this was the favorite place

for the immigration department
to pick up illegal aliens.

Oh, boy, let me guess.

You were illegal,
and you got arrested?

Well, I didn't think
of myself as illegal.

I had a student visa.

I was almost finished
with my classes.

I went to an open
casting call

with another
exchange student.

In the excitement
of the moment,

I decided to audition
and what happens?

Your mother and I
get booked together

and so, I guess, you can
say that I did not leave

when I was supposed to.

Mom knew you were illegal
and still agreed to marry you?

I can't imagine Grandma Irene
allowing that.

Well, not exactly, cara.

I was crazy
about your mother.

I didn't want her
to think

that I was getting married
to her for the papers,

so I didn't tell her.

And your grandmother,

she didn't need
any more ammunition.

I always picture her
that she was gonna

send her off somewhere
to marry some rich American.

To have her beautiful daughter
married to a starving actor

and an Italian, no way.

I was young and stupid,
and I didn't think.

I figured by then
it would be too late,

and we would live
happily ever after.

Wow, how did she react
when you finally told her?

I tried calling your mother,

but your grandmother
never let me talk to her.

And I wrote to your mother, for
months.

She never wrote back.

God, this sounds
like a bad soap opera.

Why didn't you
come back for her?

I got deported.

They didn't let me
come for 10 years,

but of course
then after that
it was too late anyway,

because I had found out
that your mother

went to New York,
and married your father,

and I stopped writing.

I'm sorry, Riccardo.

I always thought
my mom was so forgiving.

Well, don't be
so hard on her.

Falling in love
in the movie,

falling in love
outside the movie,

it was so very romantic,

but crazy.

It was hard to know
where the movie ended

and our story began.

But you know, that day
that I got to see your mother

in the casting office,

for one minute, for one minute
I thought that maybe we could

start all over again,
that it wasn't too late.

Did you ever marry
and have a family of your own?

Don't tell her,
but to be honest with you,

I never found anybody
like your mother.

People don't change.

The world changes
around them,

and your mother's still inside
that beautiful girl

that I fell in love with.

She's still softer
on the outside,

but on the inside
she's tough to probably
take care

of all the things
that came her way.

Would you like for me to try
to speak to her for you?

No, cara mia,
I don't think
it would work.

You don't know how
much she hates me.

As a matter of fact,
I didn't know how much
she hated me.

Okay, but if you do
decide to talk to her,

I wouldn't mention
that we got together.

I don't think she's ready
to hear about that.

No.

Um, my mom's
obviously been good

at keeping secrets
all these years.

Maybe we could keep
one of our own?

Oh, sure, Lori.
I can call you Lori, no?

Of course.

Looking at you now,
you're reminding me of her.

Beautiful, you're intelligent,
you're sweet like her,

but you know physically,

you don't look
that much like her.

Funny, you reminded me
of my mother.

Well, knowing how
most Italian males
feel about their mother,

I'll take that
as a compliment, Riccardo.

So, friends with secrets?

Oh, I like that.

Yes, friends with secrets.
I like that.

Hi, Aunt Eileen.

Hey, honey, Grandma
said you'd be stopping by.

Like I had a choice.
It was either that or face
the Wrath of Khan.

How was the bee
this morning?

- Mmm, buzzing.
- Come on.

I guess Mom hasn't
been around much lately.

Hey, I met Mr. Rossi
the other day.

( whispering )
He seems really nice.
Don't you think we should

hook him up with Mom again,
now that she's alone?

I mean, you said yourself,
they really had a thing

for each other once.

Lori, I said no such thing,
and you know it.

Do not start sucking me
into your plotting.

I'm in enough trouble
with your mother.

- ( bell rings )
- I'm coming, Mom.

- Hey, Mom.
- Oh, Lori, sweetie.

I didn't know you were going
to be over this way today.

Oh, I didn't plan to,
but I had to see
a patient nearby,

and practically was going
to pass by here on my way back,

so stopped in to see
how your scene's going.

Well, I'm glad you did.
Come on, have a seat.

We're just going to be
a few minutes here.

We're almost done.

Marty, this is
my daughter, Lori.

I told him all
about our little Max.

Oh, hi, Marty.

My apologies, grandmas
can get a bit carried away.

Carried away?
You want carried away?

Oh, Marty,
show her that picture
you showed me earlier

of your alter ego
on weekends, Augusta Wind.

Oh, that old thing.

Sure she's ready
for Augusta?

After all,
we've only just met.

Wow, I'm coming to you
for wardrobe tips

along with hair
and make-up.

That's impressive.

Speaking of impressive,

guess who I ran into
on my way over here.

Oh, did you meet Frank?

He can come off
with a roar at first,

but he's really
a pussy cat.

Mmm, no, actually,
your co-star, Mr. Rossi.

How come you never told me
how charming he is?

Mr. Rossi, really?

Uh, and where did you happen
to run into Mr. Rossi?

Oh, on-- on set.

The guard at the gate told me
to go to the sound stage,

and Riccardo's the one
who walked me over here

- to find you.
- Oh, he did, did he?

And what did you
and Riccardo talk about?

Oh, you know, the usual,
just pleasantries

about how
the filming's going.

So in his expert opinion,
filming has been pleasant?

Yeah, he said
it's going great.

He seems thrilled to be
working with you again.

You know, I didn't know
it had been so long

since you'd seen
each other.

Must be fun catching up
after all these years

and everything
that's happened?

Yeah, well,
a lot can happen

in 30 plus years.

Uh, maybe more
than he bargained for?

Are-- are we
through here?

I-- I guess,
if her majesty says so.

I guess I can do
last looks on set.

Thank you, Marty,
I would like to spend

a little time
with my daughter.

And I gotta go scoot
over to Wardrobe again

and get fixed up
to go back.

Oh, no problem, Debbie Diva,
I'm merely your handmaid.

I'm here to serve
your every wish.

Well. What do you and Max
have planned for the weekend?

Lori:
Oh, so, we were thinking--

( car lock beeps )

Riccardo:
Sheridan.

You just can't let it alone,
can you, Riccardo?

You know, I don't remember
you being this angry

all the time.

You're right.
I am angry.

I have 30 years of angry
bottled up inside of me,

and it takes a lot of energy
to stay that way.

I don't want to waste
that energy on you,

but that stunt you pulled
this morning with my daughter--

What stunt?

What are you talking about?

Like you don't know.

Pretending to be Mr. Nice Guy,
all suave and debonair,

trying to charm her
when she came on set,

walking her over
to meet me in Makeup.

You think you're being
very clever, don't you?

Now I don't understand.

You're angry at me
because I was nice.
to your daughter.

Do you want me
to be mean to her?

No, of course not.

Oh, I don't know.
I don't know what I want.

I just want you
to leave us alone.

Everything was fine
before you came back.

Now everything's a mess.

I'm a mess.

You've ruined everything,
just like last time.

I'm sorry, Sheridan,
but I don't understand.

I came to tell you
what a beautiful job

you did with your daughter.

She's such a lovely woman,

and from what
she's told me about you,
you and your husband,

you did a great job
raising her.

You should be proud.

Scene 46, take one.

Action.

Do you have to play
the music so loud

while we're reading?

I'm studying the music.

It's called
analysis of form.

While you're reading?

Yes, women are very good
at multi-tasking,

haven't you heard?

Why are you
staring at me?

Because I never know
when you're serious.

Isn't that part
of my mystery?

I guess, but it makes me
doubt my English.

( sighs )
Well, how's this
for serious, then?

I think I'm
in love with you.

Oh, my God,
you don't know
how long I waited

to hear those words.

I can't do this again.

Frank, would you please
tell your actor

- to stick to the script.
- All right, cut!

- Cut, cut.
- Cutting.

Okay, everybody, looks like
we got a little break.

Take a few minutes.
Don't go far.

( sighs, chuckles )

Riccardo, I have
to have a word with you.

( whistling )

You call that an antipasti?

Do I detect a bad day
at the office?

Mama mia,
I don't know
how much more

I can take of this.

Last night
I woke up sweating

with Sheridan
standing over me.

She was going to kill me
with one of those ice things

that come from the roof,
you know, in the winter.

- What do you call them?
- Icicle?

Yes, uh! With an axicle.
Can you imagine?

Well, we don't have
that expression

"cold as ice"
for nothing, you know.

Speaking of cold, I hear
it's been a little chilly

down on the set lately.

It's okay with me
with the forget

and forgive thing,
you know?

She-- she's the one.

Well, you did do a number
on her, don't forget.

You know, that whole
thing in the press

was one big clusterfuck.

First they got you running off
with that slut Simone,

and then when they figured out
you were deported

they played it up like
you were marrying her
for your papers.

Yeah, well, you know,
the studio really took

advantage of that,
but me personally,

I always felt bad
about the part about the visa.

Does she know that?

You know, it couldn't
have been fun

facing that premiere press
all by herself.

In fact, I heard
she turned down
several films afterwards

'cause she couldn't
handle it.

Said the actors on Broadway
were treated much better.

Well, you know, life gets
full of those downs and ups.

Yes, it does.

Mom?

Hey, Mom!
You back here?

- Oh, hi!
- Hi!

Hi, Mom!
What are you up to?

I thought the gardener
comes today.

Oh, he does.

You know I wouldn't let him
manicure my babies.

He'd just butcher them.

Besides, I was so tired
studying my lines.

Okay, what's up?

Looks like you have the final
Jeopardy answer or something.

What is, I told Daniel yes!

Oh! I'm so excited.
I was gonna wait
to tell you

- but I just couldn't!
- I'm so happy for you.

- Have you told Max yet?
- Not yet.

Daniel and I want
to tell him together,

probably this weekend.

Your dad and I
always felt that
he was right for you.

Oh, yeah, I know Dad
always liked him.

I just wish I'd figured
it out sooner.

So, what made you
finally decide?

Well, I guess I can give
Dad credit for that, too.

Seeing you on your own
made me realize

that we never really know
how much time we have.

What if I was passing up
our best years together?

Well, I'm not sure
your dad would be
thrilled

that it took that much
to get you motivated,

but he'd be
very happy for you.

Hey, how about
some iced tea?

I think we've
got a wedding to plan.

Yay!

( phone rings )

It's Saul, I'll just be
a minute, go ahead.

Hey, Saul,
what's the good news?

They replace
my co-star yet?

( Saul chuckling)
That's a good one, Sheridan.

You're going
to see him again.

Wasn't there something
in my contract,

"no socializing?"

Don't I know?

And I did call Legal today.

They said that it's considered
strictly promotion.

I'm sorry, Sheridan,
but I'm afraid

you're just gonna have
to go along with this one.

But trust me, baby,
you won't be sorry.

Saul, you have just ruined
a perfectly beautiful afternoon.

Tonight I have
the distinct privilege

of having two of my favorite
actors reunited

in a television first.

I do believe it's actually
the first time

these two actors have appeared
together on television

or anywhere else,
for that matter,

since their big screen debuts
in "Passport to Love,"

way back in the late 70s.

I understand from all
the buzz in Hollywood

that the two of you
are to star in a remake

of that very same film
you did over 30 years ago.

You must have been
just kids then.

Are we looking
forward to this?

We are, and thank you
for the kids part.

And I'd like to start
by saying how grateful

we are to our director,
Mr. Frank Zelski,

for bringing
us together again
on this project.

That's not exactly
what you said

when you found out
that I was your co-star.

So, Riccardo,
I take it it's not
always easy going back?

That's an understatement.

For those of you
watching tonight
who don't know

the back story
on all of this,

Riccardo Rossi
and Sheridan O'Connor

were two relative unknowns
in Hollywood,

and they skyrocketed
to stardom

in their first film together,
"Passport to Love."

They played
two college kids.

They fall madly in love,

forsake family and money

for the chance to build
a life together,

only to have it ripped away
from them all too early.

- Do I have that right
so far?
- Yes.

And the way I remember
the sizzle is both of you

on screen and off
were pretty hot back then,

and so what happened?

Well, Larry,
like you said,
we were kids,

and the press got
ahold of our story.

The paparazzi started
coming after us

as soon as they found out.

So I guess the two of you
weren't really as much

of an item as they made
it out to be?

The dating and everything
was a publicity stunt?

Well, I wouldn't just say
it was just publicity.

We had a relationship
of sorts.

Oh, really?
What sort was that?

Yeah, I'd like to hear that.
What-- what sort, Sheridan?

Like you said, we were young
and we were single

and it was all
very exciting.

So, nothing serious then?

( sighs )

Yes, actually, Larry, we--
we had plans to get married.

I just ran into a little problem
with my immigration visa

at the time.

A little problem
with your visa?

You leave me stranded
at the altar on our wedding day?

I never hear
from you again.

Best you can come up with,

it's "a little problem
with your visa"?

Well, I guess we have
more ground to cover

with this little reunion
than we thought.

Wait a minute, Sheridan,

maybe I didn't
do things right,
but I tried to explain.

That mother of yours
never let me talk to you.

Why do you think I wrote you
all those letters?

Letters? What letters?
I never got any letters.

I wrote you every single day
asking you for forgiveness.

I repeat, I never
got any letters.

What did you do,
forget to mail them

like you forgot
to show up for our wedding?

Well, maybe it didn't
cause you any problems,

because the last time
that I called

your mother said
that you had gone
to New York

to marry some
Broadway producer.

I-- I'm sorry, Larry,
I'm sorry-- I can't do this.

I-- I can't do this right now.

We'll be back
right after these words.

Wow.

- Eileen:
Hello?
- What the hell happened
to you?

Nice to hear
from you too, dear.

I'm home.
I've got a little bug,

and it sounds like
you've got one up your ass.

Eileen, did you know
all along?

Know what?

That Riccardo
had been calling,

and he had written
all those letters, you know?

No, I didn't know
about any letters.

Well, not right away,
years later,

Mom did make some kind
of nasty remark

about that little wop
of yours singlehandedly

keeping the postal
service in business,

but I thought it was
just one of her moods.

I wasn't about
to go there.

And you didn't think to tell me
about that little fact?

( sneezes )

You were already
married to Sam,

Lori was a toddler,

and I just didn't
want to go there.

Why open old wounds?

Hello?

Sheridan?

Consuelo?
Ah, bien, Consuelo.

Is Mother upstairs?

Yes, ma'am.
Welcome back.

I think she's
resting right now.

Lydia take her to see
la doctora this morning.

La doctora say
she was strong like ox,

and live
for another 20 years.

You and Miss Eileen
be very happy, no?

Oh, just thrilled, provided
I don't kill her first.

Woman:
Oh, that's enough already,
Lydia, please!

Stop your fussing.

Cheerful as always,
I see, Mother.

Hello, Lydia.

Heard things went well
at the doctor's this morning?

Yes, ma'am. Just a little
high blood pressure,

but that's under control.

Probably healthier
than the both of us.

Hello, dear.

I was wondering how long

you'd keep using
your big movie

as an excuse to stop
coming to see me.

How long has it been?
Three weeks?

Miss Irene,
now you know full well

it's only been 10 days.

She makes me keep track
on my calendar.

Wow, Mother,
so how many points

am I behind Eileen now?

Oh, now, dear, you know
I never keep score,

but obviously Eileen has put
a little guilt trip on you.

No, actually,
unlike some people,

she respects my privacy

and my desire
to live my own life.

I'll just be downstairs
if you need me, Miss Sheridan.

Thank you, Lydia.

Well, at least Lori likes
spending time with me.

We'll see how long that lasts
when she finds out

how her dear sweet grandmama,
what she did to her.

What I did to her?
What-- what do you mean?

Well, Mommy dearest,

I used to think
you were just jealous,

because I was able to combine
my career with marriage

and family,
and you had to give up

your big singing career
to have Eileen and me.

Well, that was what we heard
all the time growing up, right?

Oh, don't be
silly, Sheridan.

You know, I forgave you.

I excused your bitterness.

I even felt sorry
for you sometimes.

I gave you far too much
credit, didn't I, Mother?

It was all about you,
wasn't it?

I-- I don't have
the slightest idea

what you're talking about.

How could you?

How could you take
Riccardo's letters?

They were mine.

You knew how much
I loved him.

You-- you watched me suffer.

I was desperate
to hear from him.

What-- what gives you the right
to take away a decision

that could change
the rest of my life,

and just take it away?

He called a few days
after the wedding fiasco,

and his--
his accent was so thick.

Just, it was done when
the connection was poor,

and he gave some lame excuse
about being back in Italy

and he was so sorry,

but you know how
these hot-blooded

Mediterranean types are.

So much drama.

It was all I could do to keep
from hanging up on him.

Look, that dago
humiliated you in the press.

He humiliated all of us,

and I wasn't about to let
that swarthy little Italian

hurt me or my family anymore.

Did you ever stop and think
about what I wanted?

Well, I must say,
he was very persistent.

We got a letter
nearly every single day,

and he kept calling, too,
for the longest time.

So, I finally told him
that you had met someone else.

Mother,
what have you done?

I kept them all, you know.

They've, uh--

they've been
right here all along.

Oh! Miss O'Connor, hello.

Rick-- I mean Mr. Rossi's
just finishing up.

- Debbie, that last scene--
- Yeah.

Well, okay, then.

I'm gonna get going.

I'll see you later
at the wrap party? Or not?

We have the place
all to ourselves.

We picked a good day.

Usually we would be
too busy this time of year.

Now remember, Claudette
can be a real bitch,

but she has some of the best
selection in town.

She's right behind me,
isn't she?

Claudette, darling!
You look lovely today.

As I told you,
I want you to meet
two of my dearest clients.

Sheridan, Lori, this is one
of the top bridal consultants

in L.A.,
Claudette de la Roux.

Charmed, I'm sure.

Well, all righty,
then ladies,

I'm going to leave you
in Claudette's

very capable hands.

Luckily we already
pulled some samples

that we think might work.

Let me know if you need
anything at all. Toodles!

It's a little bit
last season, but whatever.

Okay, let's see, we go
with aubergine for the girls,

and we've got two good
possibilities for you.

Oh, I really like this
first one with the pearls

that you tried on.

We narrowed the cake
down to three.

Oh, not bad
for one afternoon.

Yeah, but if I want to look
halfway decent in any of these,

I may have to skip
lunch today.

Oh, look at you.

You know, honey,
after your initial hesitation

about not going the route
of a more traditional wedding,

I'm so glad you did.
It means a lot to me.

Oh, Mom.

- Here, let me get that.
- Just clip it really well.

Yeah, and there.

Heave ho!

Lori:
I feel like a princess.

Yeah, this looks nice.

You know, speaking
of a traditional route,

I have something
I wanted to run by you.

You know how I always
dreamed of having Dad

walk me down
the aisle one day,

and obviously
that's not happening.

- So--
- Oh, honey, of course,

I'd be happy
to stand in for Dad.

Everybody will understand.

That's just it, Mom.

Um, I was thinking, you know,
so it looks more traditional,

of asking Riccardo,
Mr. Rossi to do it.

Mr. Rossi?
You barely know him.

I mean, if you want
an older man,

how about something
like Uncle George?

I mean, at least
he's family.

I adore Uncle George,
but he reeks of stale cigars

and can barely walk.

How's he gonna escort me
down an aisle?

And besides, Mr. Rossi
isn't a stranger.

Oh, and when was I
gonna hear about this?

I've gotten to know him
since you started the movie,

and well, I don't know,
we have a connection.

He just really gets
where I'm coming from.

He's really
a wonderful man.

Yeah, well, the jury's
still out on that one.

Mom, I think it's time
we talked about this,

this aversion
you have to Mr. Rossi.

You never wanted
to discuss him

with me before,
but it's okay.

Um, but how long
are you going to keep

pretending nothing
happened between you two?

I mean, it involves me now,
too, you know.

You'd be amazed
at what you can find out

from Googling
your names together.

Like, I know all
about your little romance,

but don't worry, Mr. Rossi
covered for you.

He said it was before
you ever met Daddy.

Oh, my God,
you've discussed
this with him?

- He knows?
- Yeah. No big deal, Mother.

I always thought I'd end up
with Max's father,

and look
what happened there.

Stuff happens,
life happens,

people change.

Aren't you the one always
trying to convince me

that everything happens
for a reason?

So, you're okay
with this then?

I mean,
you don't hate me?

Yeah, it wasn't
a big deal, Mom.

You were both adults making
your own decisions back then.

I was always worried that,

you know, that you'd
resent me that--

oh, for keeping it
from you all those years.

Oh, it was all
so confusing back then.

He took off without a word,
and he leaves me like that.

I get shipped off
to Aunt Peg's in New York.

Oh, God, back then
it was such a big scandal.

Then I met your father
and he was so wonderful.

He was kind, and he wanted
to take care of me, of us.

Wait a minute.

Are we talking
about the same thing here?

The fact that you planned
on marrying Mr. Rossi

before you married Dad?

And chances are Dad
never knew about it?

Mom?
Mom, answer me.

Sweetie,
I am so sorry.

I thought
you meant you knew.

I thought somehow
Mr. Rossi found out,

and I-- I meant to tell you
when the time was right.

Okay, stop.
Let me get this straight.

You're telling me
that Riccardo Rossi
is actually my father,

and in 30-plus years
you never thought to tell

- either of us?
- Yes, but I can explain.

Come on.

Sure, act your way out of it.

God!
They'll have to give you

a lifetime achievement
award for this one.

What?
First you conned Dad,
and then me?

Lori, please,
lower your voice.

Your father was well aware
of my prior... indiscretion.

He loved you like his own.
Doesn't that mean something?

Oh, my God.

Dad knew, too?

Jesus H. Christ.

You know, I'm hearing this,
I-- I-- I can't deal--

- Oh, my God.
- Lori, sweetie...

( Lori sobbing )
Go away!

Please.

♪ Had I only known

♪ Life would have turned out
so differently ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ We could have made
so many memories ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ There would be
no need to leave ♪

She's still
angry at you, I know.

Yeah, she hasn't returned
my calls or my texts

for over a week.

I can't say
that I blame her.

And thank you.

- Thank me?
- Yes, for coming today.

I mean, you should be
angry with me, too.

No.

Remember when we used
to come here and hide
from the press?

Yes.

You used to tell me
in your broken English

all about growing up
in Italy,

all the beautiful places
you were going to take me.

Hey, my English
wasn't so bad then.

Well, maybe it was,

but I remember you
telling me that L.A.

was the most wonderful
place on earth,

especially for actors.

That's when you picked up
and moved to New York.

Well, didn't exactly
have much of a choice.

( sighs )
God, we were such
kids then, Riccardo.

Did we even have a plan?

We didn't need a plan.
We had each other.

Why didn't you tell me
about the baby?

Probably for the same reason
you didn't tell me

you were illegal.

Pride.

Or maybe
I was just naive.

I wanted you
to marry me for love,

not for some
sense of duty.

Mother always suspected
you didn't have papers,

and then when you
didn't show up,

just figured
you'd chickened out.

I would have loved
to see Lori grow up.

I'm so sorry, Riccardo.

I thought it was
the best thing

for everyone
at the time.

Then years later...

well, Sam was a wonderful
father to her.

And if it's any consolation,
I felt guilty.

Especially when I read
about the fact

that you didn't have
a wife or family.

No one special
in your life?

No, I don't blame you
for that.

I'm a romantic
at heart.

I didn't want to
settle for something

and it wasn't as good
as we had before.

Eileen:
Down here.

- Hey, there.
- Hey!

Oh, let me help you
with that.

Thanks.

Imagine, this is all just
for the shower tomorrow.

What's the wedding
going to be like?

How goes your truce
with Lori?

Tentative,
to say the least.

I mean, she's being civil,
but for a while there,

I wasn't even sure
she was going to let me
come to the wedding.

Sheridan, that will
never happen, you know it.

She'll come around even more.
You just wait and see.

I'm a little
more worried about you

and your Italian stallion
meeting up without a script,

if you know what I mean.

What do you think?

Well, I haven't been able
to bring you up to speed much

since filming
had finished, but...

You know all
the piss and vinegar

just kind of
drained out of me.

I can't stay
angry at him.

I can't believe
I was dumb enough
to trust Mom.

Hmm, do I sense a return
of your appreciation for Verdi

and all things Italian?

I don't know
about all things Italian,

but I can at least look
at a plate of fettuccini now

without getting indigestion.

We did meet up like you
suggested yesterday.

( gasping ) Wait, wait,
meet up with him like in a date?

No, meet up as in
meet up for coffee.

( giggling )
Oh, God, I just love dirt.

Tell all, tell all.
You know I just love
that kind of stuff,

especially when my own family's
rolling around in it.

No dirt to sweep
under the rug here.

Besides, at this age,
it'd be more of a thrill

to see Lori's face
if she found out

I really was having
sex than actually doing it.

He has been rather
gracious though.

Gracious enough to, um,
stoke the boiler room

down in the basement,
and get it all heated up?

All right, Eileen, enough
with the euphemisms, okay?

You started it.

Oh, besides, I think
it's kind of cool.

It's kind of like
when we were in high school

and the football jock
sees the nerdy little girl

at the high school dance,

and ( sighs )
it's just--

Ooh, have you told the papers?
Did they pick up the story?

No, and I fail to see
any similarities.

At this age, after 30 years,
I mean, all we have in common

is that we procreated
a daughter 30 years ago.

Hardly a story
to keep up with.

30 years
and you've rekindled
an old romance.

( giggling )

Oh, honey,
let's stoke those fires.

They can huff and puff
as much as they want.

This campfire girl's not going
for any more merit badges.

( doorbell rings )

And not a word to Lori
about this, okay? Understand?

Spoiler.

( knocking at door )

Coming!

( knocking at door )

- Ciao.
- Ciao.

That's what I love
about you Americans,

always so punctual.

Oh, well, you look like
you're ready to go,

so Italians can't be
all that laid back.

And if we're talking
stereotypes,

I just found out
about my Italian side.

No wonder I always talk
with my hands.

Well, I had to be ready.

I have a first
impression to make.

I'm meeting my future
son-in-law tonight.

Oh, I wouldn't worry.
He's looking forward to it.

Compared to meeting
Grandma Irene,

this is a piece of cake.

If it was like my first,
it went like a lead brick.

Yeah, a lead balloon.

It went over like
a lead balloon.

- Yeah, that's what I said.
- Whatever.

I meant to tell you,
Daniel's actually a big fan.

Dragged me to one
of your art house films
last year,

with subtitles,
no less.

Little did I know
while watching Don Giovessi
order a hit,

I'd be a part
of his little mafia
one day.

Oh, well, I guess life
is full of little surprises.

- Shall we?
- Ah, si.

( music playing )

Powerful stuff, man.

Looks like you got
a winner on your hands.

- Thanks to you, bro.
- Ah, don't mention it.

Just make sure they put
my name right in the credits.

Great work, you two,
despite your artistic
differences.

Oh, okay, but I gotta split,
but it's been a real slice.

Nice job, Frank.
I'm sure the studio's
gonna be happy,

and I think I can get
the marketing machine up

and running now to really
promote this baby.

So, as soon as
you have a trailer,

you gotta
let me know, okay?

And I'm gonna start setting up
the talk show circuit

for you guys, all right?

- Lunch Thursday?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Great.

Hey, guys, don't keep me
in suspense here.

What did you think?

- Well--
- Well--

You go ahead, Riccardo.

No, no, ladies first, please.

Jeez, where was all
this politeness

when we were filming?

I can hardly stand it.
Come on, one of you talk.

I have to tell you, Frank,
It really moved me.

I was able to forget
it was me up there.

That constantly irritating way
my lip curls, didn't bother me.

And I was not hating

that I look half-dead
in that hospital scene.

I'm telling you,
you guys still got it.

What about you, Frank?

Oh, it's very good.
It's very good, Frank.

It's just like James said,
you have a winner.

Still rough,

but you're okay
with the cut?

Yeah, yeah, it's good.

Actually it's super good,
yes, and you know,

Mark has been
so good to me,

letting me stay in his place
all this time.

I rented a place,
so I'm gonna be here

for the wedding
and the release.

And so guys, don't worry,
I'll stay around this time.

I'll be right back.

- Hey, Riccardo,
you okay?
- Sure, why?

Oh, I don't know,
maybe because you look
like you think

somebody really died
up there on screen?

Maybe I'm just that kind
of a sensitive guy.

No, seriously,
is everything okay with it?

I mean, I thought
the production value
was great,

and your acting's
spot on as usual.

Well, thank you,
Miss O'Connor.

Very nice compliment
coming from you.

It's just that,
it made me think,

you know,
about a lot of things,

like, maybe everyone should
try to remake their own ending.

Oh, and I just
thought of something.

You remember
my friend, Luigi,

that owns a restaurant
in Beverly Hills?

He suggested that you
take a look at his menu.

If you're still having
the rehearsal dinner,

then I'll be more
than happy to take you

so that you can
meet the owner.

- Uh, maybe Friday?
- Friday?

- Yeah, that would be nice.
- Okay, then... until Friday.

I thought you said
that we were just going

to be checking the menu
for the rehearsal dinner.

This is beginning to feel
suspiciously like a date.

I didn't say this
was going to be only business.

It's not every day that I get
to go out to dinner

with a beautiful girl
in a city full of memories.

Oh, according
to the tabloids,

that's not exactly
what I heard.

Well, let me change that.

It's not every day
that I get to go out to dinner

with a beautiful woman
who brings back

so many wonderful memories.

And who knew that one
of those little memories

would now be over 30 years old
and all grown up?

- To Lori.
- To our daughter, Lori.

Don't you wonder how different
our lives would have been

if I would have shown up
at the church that day?

Oh, I try not to.

But you were happy
with Sam, weren't you?

Probably happier
than I deserved to be.

Sam came riding in
on his trusty white steed

to save the damsel
in distress,

just in the nick of time.

But you loved him?

Eventually, sure,
but never like us.

That kind of thing
only happens once.

You know, Sheridan,
I think we should try again.

What if it's still there?

We were a couple
of love-struck teenagers.

We had pie in the sky dreams
and not a clue about life.

At this stage of our lives
I can't even fathom

going back there again.

Just because we are
a little older

means we cannot find love?

We can live
happily ever after.

That doesn't happen
only in the movies, you know.

What happened
to that heart-warming,

free-spirited girl
that I used to know?

She had to grow up.

One of us had
to raise our daughter.

I'm sorry, Sheridan.

I'm sorry I didn't
start things right tonight.

I promise you
if we do this again,

I will not bring up
anything from the past.

No apologies necessary.

Considering
the food and wine,

I can guarantee you
we'll be back here again.

- Yes?
- The rehearsal dinner?

You do remember the reason
we're here, right?

Yes, and that reminds me.

I wanted to mention
to you about the dinner,

that Lori wants
to make an announcement

that I am
her biological father.

She was very insistent.

She wants to bring it
out in the open

before the wedding.

Are you okay with that?

I don't really see where
I have much of a choice.

( sighs )
Poor Sam.

She's just doing this
to spite me.

No, Sheridan, she's not.

She loves you,
and she understands.

She's doing it for me,
she's doing it for her.

She wants a complete family,
at least on that special day.

Well, I guess like
everything else lately,

I'll adapt,

but are you okay
with being outed?

I mean, you haven't exactly
had a lot of time

to adjust to fatherhood.

No, I'm fine.

As a matter of fact,
I'm flattered,

but it's a little strange.

It makes me think
about being a better person,

and a better
example for her.

I'm very familiar
with that feeling.

It's called being a parent.

Whoo! I guess we should
get our full-figured

fanny packs
down to the church.

- You ready, Mom?
- Ah, well, we're not
going to be able

to talk her out of it,
I guess we might as well.

- Mom.
- Grandma.

Oh, please. Look, Eileen,
it certainly isn't

the Publisher's Clearinghouse
poster child for marriage.

And, and look
at the two of us,

after all these years
we're still alone.

- And on that cheery note--
- Oh, come on, let's go.

Fine.

- Go get 'em, kid.
- Thanks, Grandma.

Grandma's right,
you know?

What about, honey?

About you being alone
in your old age.

Oh, gee, thanks,
and here I thought

I looked
pretty good today.

Mom, you look great.
That's the point.

You're still young enough
to enjoy life,

start over again.

Oh, honey, I had a great
life with your father,

even if he was
taken too soon.

I'm happy being a grandma.
I love my career.

Maybe after today
I can be a grandma again.

( chuckles )

Come on, this is
your special day.

Don't waste time
worrying about me.

That's just it, Mom.
I listened to all those times

you said to not waste
the good things in life.

You also told me
one good example

is worth 10 sermons
about the same thing.

How about a good
example now?

You and Riccardo
had something good once.

You even almost
got married.

Oh, enough.
Don't remind me.

The last thing I need
is dating advice

from my daughter
on her wedding day.

Lori, we need
to focus on you,

and that handsome man
waiting for you.

You know, I'm not really good
at this technological stuff.

I think you're gonna
have to teach me.

That's okay.

Nana said you have
a, um, disadvantage

'cause your first language
isn't English.

She did, did she?

Yep. She also said
I should call you Nonno,

because that's what grandpas
in Italy are called.

Yes, son, that would
be very nice.

You know, I don't
have a grandson,

and I would be very proud
to be your grandpa.

I guess
that would be okay.

Grandpa Sam's
gone to heaven,

so I don't
have one now.

Well, I know,
and I also heard

that you and Grandpa Sam
used to play a lot together.

So maybe you and I can play
now that your mommy and Daniel

are going
on their honeymoon.

I guess.

Are you gonna stay
at Nana's house, too,
while they're gone?

Well, I don't think
Nana's gonna let me
have a sleepover,

but maybe you can talk
to her about me.

I don't even think
Max will be able

to convince her
of that one.

Ladies.

Well, maybe we could
cheer him on

with an s-c-o-r-e.

Score.

Well, at least he showed up
at the church this time.

Mama!
What did I tell you two
about behaving today?

( laughter )

Okay, I got the picture.
Perfect.

Excuse me, Lori, Mr. Rossi,
I think we should get started.

Is it okay
if I cue the organist?

Would you just give her
just a minute, Victoria?

Sure, sure, no problem.

Just let me know
when you're ready.

- Yeah, we will,
thank you.
- Thank you.

I know this is
your special day,

but I have a little
favor to ask of you.

Okay.

Yeah, that works for me.

If not now, when?

Victoria.

( music playing )

( wedding march playing )

Ladies and gentlemen,
you have been asked here today

to witness the celebration
of life and love

joining together
in holy matrimony.

And on this
joyous occasion,

I would like
to start by asking,

who gives this young man,
Daniel Gupta up in marriage?

I do, Daniel's mother.

And who gives
this young woman,

Lori Simmons,
up in marriage?

Both:
We do, Lori's parents.

We are going
to deviate a little

from our prescribed
paths today,

and I have
had a special request

by bride's father.

Mr. Rossi.

Sheridan, over 30 years ago
I was on my way to a church,

very much like this one,

to marry you

with this license with me.

Through no fault of my own--
well, almost-- I never made it,

and I've regretted it
ever since.

In front of God
and your family--

well, our family now--

I ask you to please give me
a last chance to love.

Sheridan,
would you marry me
here, now, today,

so I don't spend
another day wondering

if you would do it
all over again?

Uh, may I just say something?

All:
No!

Yes! Oh, yes.

Can you help me get up?

It was easier
the last time.

♪ Had I only known

♪ Life could have turned out
so differently ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ We could have made
so many memories ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ There would be
no need to leave ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ You would have made
my life complete ♪

♪ Life sometimes gives us
second chances ♪

♪ To be as we
were meant to be ♪

♪ To laugh, to love,
to share some glances ♪

♪ A heart beating new
so bold and free ♪

♪ I've learned to cherish
moments shared ♪

♪ And dare not think
what might have been ♪

♪ To grab at life
with loving care ♪

♪ Or risk the loss
of you again ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ Life could have turned out
so differently ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ We could have made
so many memories ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ There would be
no need to leave ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ You would have made
my life complete ♪

♪ I learned the steps
to every dance ♪

♪ But always
missed the beat ♪

♪ Till life and love
and circumstance ♪

♪ Gave me wings
for being ♪

♪ Life's much too short
so be prepared ♪

♪ For every now and then

♪ Reflect on what
will make you dare ♪

♪ To know if not now
then when ♪

♪ Had I only known life

♪ Life could have turned out
so differently ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ We could have made
so many memories ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ There would be
no need to leave ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ You would have made
my life complete ♪