All language subtitles for The Really Loud House s01e02 The Chore Thing.eng

For me...

the perfect Saturday
has three things--

the hot sun, a cool drink,

and ocean as far as
the eye can see.

[dolphins chittering]

Now, I know what
you're thinking.

"There's no ocean
in Royal Woods."

Well, there is now.

Clyde's dads wanted to renew
their wedding house in Hawaii,

but they didn't wanna
leave Clyde behind.

17 years ago,
we began our forever story.

Thank you for choosing me
to write it with.

Ow.

They only have
these swaggy goggles

rented for one more day.

So Clyde and I are
gonna savor every moment

at the virtual beach.

According to my
shiny new clipboard,

this house
is a greasy, grimy mess.

- Chore day.
- But that grease and grime

is no match
for the Loud family,

because we are a what?

Starts with a T.

- Tired?
- Rhymes with dream.

I had a dream that
dad was marching around

waving an old,
nasty toilet brush at us.

That's not a dream, Leni.
You're awake.

Okay. Team.

Team was the word
I was looking for.

FYI, this toilet
brush is brand new.

Now it's time to
hand out assignments.

Oh, that's not the new one.

Luna, you have the windows.

Leni, you're closets.
Ohh!

Chore day in the Loud House
is, well, a chore.

Luckily, I've got a time-tested
method of getting out of it.

It turns out if you
do a job really bad,

the grownups
will get frustrated

and just do it for you.

Lincoln.
Lincoln!

You gotta empty that bag
before it ex--

[engine stutters]

[whispering] Explodes.

[clattering]

You know what?

I'll just do it myself.

And now the moment of truth.

I've placed each of
your names in this hat.

The first name that I pull out
will be the name of the person

who must clean...

the bathroom.

- No.
- Dude!

- Gross.
- No, no, no, no, no.

Oh, yes.
This is happening.

Now, Lily will do the honors.

Lily...

do you understand
the magnitude

of what you're about to do?

Magnitude.

And the winner is...

Lisa.

- [exhales]
- Lisa!

No problemo.

I'll be doing it with
my newest invention.

The Zapmaster 3000, the most
powerful cleaning device

ever invented.

I'm sorry.
I have to go to work.

Hi.

Apparently the
town librarian is

shaving his mustache for
the first time in 40 years.

- Hmm!
- That's front page news.

That thing's glorious.

Do you want me to
take Lily with me?

I mean, keeping all
these kids on task

and taking care of a toddler,
that is a lot on your plate,

sweetie.
- Are you kidding?

I got this. Trust me.

Last time you
said, "Trust me,"

I had to poop in the woods.

- What?
- True story.

I just don't want her to
get lost in the shuffle.

Honey, she's not gonna
get lost in the shuffle.

I will make her
my top priority.

Lily. Lil.

Come here, kiddo.

Lil Meister.
- You're holding her.

- Oh!
- This is me.

Oh, sorry. Hi.

We're fine.
- We're fine.

- Bye, everybody.
- Bye, hun.

Everything's totally
under control.

- Bye.
- You better start cleaning.

Time for Operation
Do A Bad Job At Chores

So Dad Will Get Frustrated
And Do My Chores For Me.

Looking good, Linc.

Couldn't do
a better job myself.

We'll see about that.

Aren't we supposed to
be cleaning the kitchen?

I've decided
we're going to watch

"Vampire Bloodbath 9" instead.

I'm going to watch
it in the basement

so no one will find us.

A scary movie in the
scariest part of the house?

Cool.

You're afraid, aren't you?

I'm--I'm not afraid.

It's not your fault.
Not everyone is drawn to

the dark underworld
of the unknown.

[slurping]

This needs more mint sprinkles.

Leni, what are you doing?

According to my clipboard,
you're supposed to be

organizing the homework closet.

I was, but then I
remembered I hate homework.

So I decided I would
organize my closet.

Then I realized I hate
homework and all my clothes.

I have two jobs--

keep you guys on
task and watch Lily.

[guitar chords]

Why is Luna playing guitar?

She's supposed to be
cleaning the windows.

[sighs]

Everything
looks good on you, Lily.

I know.

♪ ♪

Luna.

Luna!

Why aren't you washing windows?

I like to get in
the cleaning mood

by laying down
a few clean licks.

You sound great,
but listen.

I have two jobs--

keep you guys on task and
take care of--good gravy.

Where's Lily?

Oh, Dad already lost Lily,

and he told Mom
he'd watch her.

Excited to see how
this one unfolds.

And this is?

I decided if I don't make
it as a professional athlete,

I need a backup plan.

So I'm practicing to
be a sports announcer.

[doorbell rings]
- It's probably Child Services.

Okay.
You guys find Lily.

I'll cover.
Make a hole.

♪ ♪

Oh.

Hey, Clyde.
What's up?

The sun's up,
and the surf's up.

What's up?

[light music]

Lincoln and I are gonna spend
the day on the virtual beach.

Even though it's virtual, my
dads made me wear sunscreen.

Oh, well, can never be
too careful.

Unfortunately,
today is chore day.

So Lincoln's not available.
- Right.

But Lincoln broke
the fancy glasses,

so you told him it would
be easier if you just

did it yourself like always.

Oh.

Is that what happened?

[shattering sound]

Hey, Dad, you might wanna

clean the fancy
glasses yourself.

I think some of them
are busted.

Oh, something's
busted all right,

and his name is Lincoln Loud.

She's right.

Clyde just told me
about your little plan

so you can get
out of chore day.

So I've decided
that you'll be doing

all of the yard work.

We'll be right back
after these messages.

[giggling]

Sit back and relax,
young squire.

You're about to see science revolutionize

the household
cleaning industry.

- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?

- I have to pee.
- I have to pee, who?

This isn't a joke, Lisa.
I really have to pee.

I'm conducting a high-level
scientific experiment,

and you
don't have the clearance.

What about Lily?

She's here as an apprentice.

Frankly, she's our only hope

of having another scientist
in this family.

[giggling]

Fine.
I'll use the bushes.

[power-up thrumming]

[electrical zapping]
- [gasps]

Sweet mother of science.

I've zapped Lily into oblivion.

I'm sorry, Lincoln.

Mowing the lawn is gonna
take the entire day.

Was going to take
the entire day.

Lucky for you,
your BFF is also the MWP.

MWP?

Man with the plan.

I'd like to introduce
you to our secret weapon.

You want this thing
to go really fast?

[power-down thrumming]
- Lily.

Lily.
Lily.

Hey, I just saw
Luan in the bushes,

and she said you found Lily.

Technically, yes.

But you know Lily.

She's always
disappearing somewhere.

Don't I know it.

Lily?

Oh.

Oh, what died in here?

Wow, Lynn.
Oh, that smells.

Lily!

Lily?

Lil?

Lily?

- Clyde?
- Yeah.

I hope you brought
two pairs of underwear.

[tires screeching]

I did!

both: Whoa!

It was nice knowing you guys.

[distantly] Lana!

Hi, Carol.

Yes. Mm-hmm.

I see your capri pants.
[squeaking sounds]

Do you have them
in black, pink,

orange, blue, navy blue, sky
blue, white, and off-white?

Luna, could you please
stop making that noise?

Hey, have you guys seen Lily?

I haven't lost her or anything.

Luna's window cleaning
is distracting me

from ordering
a whole new wardrobe.

I'm sorry, dude.

But music just makes
everything more fun.

You two need to focus
on your work, okay?

No more distractions.

[rhythmic squeaking]

[dance music]

♪ ♪

Party people in the house say--
- What?

Party of people
wearing glasses say--

What!

Party people on
the phone say--

What!

Party people
named Tanya say--

What!

Party people in
the house say--

What!

[phone ringing]
- Oh, uh, uh...

excuse me, Tanya.

Hey, hun!

Hey, how is everything
going?

Oh, psshh, uh, uh, amazing.

The kids are really
focused on their work,

and Clyde's even helping
with the yard work.

[both screaming]

♪ ♪

- Aah!
- Aah!

Oh, heck no!
[siren wailing]

Can I see my sweet Lily?

Absolutely.

I know exactly where she is.

But you know, you know, the
reception up in this hallway

is pretty--

Hello?

Honey?

Hello?

Am I in the toilet?

With his back
against the wall,

Dad throws a desperation
Hail Mary and lies to Mom.

Not in the mood, Lynn.

Gross.

Isn't this more
fun than chores?

That's the great thing
about these movies.

You know these
monsters aren't real?

On the contrary,
these half-goat,

half-serpent creatures
roamed the countryside

in ancient Mesopotamia.

Some say they still exist.

Their jaws are so powerful,
they can chew through--

Computer cords?

[snarling sounds]

I'm gonna run to the kitchen
and get us another milkshake.

Might take a while,

so I'll maybe come
back tomorrow.

But we haven't
even finished these.

Good point.
I'll get us some fresh ones.

[doorknob clattering]

Oops.

[snarling, growling sounds]

Help!

We're stuck in the basement
with a Mesopotamian monster.

[pounding on door]

[twirr]

The reason I called
this family meeting

is because Lily is missing.

I mean, she--
she's not "missing."

It's just that
I can't "find her."

If there's one
thing I'm proud of

is the fact that I can
keep track of all my kids.

Where are all my kids?

If you're just
joining us, Dad promised Mom

he wouldn't lose Lily.

And now he's lost 4
of his 11 children.

I know where Lily is.

Right?

She's in another dimension.

Oh, great.

I accidentally
Zapmastered her.

Right now, the best
course of action

would be to have somebody
hold this tracking device,

then zap them into
the same dimension.

Of course,
there is a possibility

that that person would
be sent to an entirely

different dimension or possibly
a bottomless blackhole.

Okay.

Okay.

Who would like to do that?

[scattered laughs]

Why, don't we
put the tracking

device on one of Lana's pets?

- I agree.
- Yeah.

Sounds great.
- That's a good idea.

The only one brave
enough would be Hops.

But we're not on
speaking terms

since I put him
on a low-carb diet.

Sometimes a man's gotta
do what a man's gotta do.

Let's get Hops a
piece of bread and see

if we can talk him into it.
- Yeah.

What are you doing down here?

I'm protecting Hops.
What are you guys doing?

We're trapped down here
with a half-goat half-serpent.

Sorry, Hops.

[growling sounds]

You boys have
any identification?

I have my ID
from my Quiche Club.

Ooh.
I love a good quiche.

I'm gonna have to take you
boys downtown and book you.

Book us?

That's what they do before
they throw people in jail.

We're good kids.
I promise.

Lincoln, show him.

Please stop doing that.

Okay.
Clyde, I'll call my dad

and clear this whole thing up.

[muffled chiming]

He's not answering.
- Mm-hmm.

Attention all cars.

Auntie Pam's ice cream truck
has been hijacked

by Milkshake Marty
and the Custard Gang.

I'm on my way.

Hold on, boys.

both: Aah!
[twirr]

The reason I called
another family meeting

is to inform you all that
I'm going to find Lily.

I'm also going to find
Lola, Lucy, and Lincoln.

Where is Lana?

This is a sport update
with Lynn Loud.

Dad has now lost 4 four
but 5 of his 11 children.

How do you feel about the
events that have transpired?

Back to you, Dad.

Mom is gonna kill me.

I don't think this
could get any worse.

Where is Luan?

So you're telling me
you lost the doorknob

and we're stuck down here
with the Mesopotamian monster?

Well, at least I take
a break from Lynn's

nonstop sportscasting.

Boo!

The crowd did not
like that one.

Me and Coconuts are gonna
go find that doorknob.

[snarling and growling]

[breathing heavily]

Maybe later.

You don't want to mess with
Milkshake Marty and his gang.

If anything happens to me,
tell Dolores I love her.

Is Dolores your wife?

My cat.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

Auntie Pam.

Oh, thank God, you're okay.

I just got a call you were
hijacked by Milkshake Marty.

[high voice]
I appreciate it, Officer.

Uh, Milkshake Marty came by.

He purchased
an ice cream cone,

left a generous tip,

and then he just
went on his way.

Uh...

But, uh, thanks for
coming by anyway.

Would you like an ice
cream cone for the road?

Free of charge.

Auntie Pam, I can't eat
when I'm on duty.

What's the flavor of the day?

[deep voice]
It's ice cream, pal.

Wait a minute.

That's not Auntie Pam.

That's Milkshake Marty.

We gotta go stop him.

The officer told us not
to get out of the car,

and we're already
wanted for speeding.

I can't be accused of
car getting outing.

Give me the loud speaker.

[feedback whine]
This is Lincoln Loud speaking.

Hey, I'm Loud, speaking
on the loud speaker.

Awesome.

If you're the real
Auntie Pam,

what kind of cake
did I order on my birthday?

Uh... birthday cake,
of course.

Aha.
That was a trick question.

Auntie Pam doesn't serve cake.

[gasps]

I've done it again!

♪ ♪

[siren blaring]

You boys are heroes.

Milkshake Marty is the
biggest dessert king pin

since Pablo Ice Cream Bar.

Legend has it he ground up
Pablo's entire gang into

a milkshake and drank them.

It's true.

They were armed and delicious.

[slurping]

- Ugh!
- Oh, look at the time.

This has been fun,
but we gotta head home.

We don't live in
Royal Woods, by the way.

Nope.
We live in a town far, far away

that you have never heard of.

Not so fast, boys.

You still have to pay
the speeding ticket.

We can't afford that.

We're not rich.
- My dads do okay.

Then I guess you boys
can pay your debt

to society in another way.

[twirr]

Before we start
the meeting,

can someone please read the
list of children I have lost?

Lily, Lola, Lana, Lucy,
Lincoln, Lynn, and Luan.

And we're pretty
sure Hops ran away.

- Great news.
- You found the kids?

The new cashmere
sweaters are in.

Leni, you can't
buy all new clothes.

If you wanna go shopping,
try the attic.

There's 18 years of
hand-me-downs up there,

and based on the
kids I've lost,

you'll have plenty
to choose from.

Yay!

None of these clothes work.

Well, I found a headband
that I thought I lost.

And I found
my favorite lab coat.

Great. Everyone loves
their clothes but me.

I think I saw some
boxes of mom's old clothes

down in the basement.

I remember reading
an interview

in "Mom Jeans Magazine"
that said fashion

trends go in 20-year cycles.

That means all of mom's old
clothes are back in style.

This is even worse
than my regular chores.

It's my fault, Lincoln.

None of this would've
happened if I'd hadn't

messed up your original plan.

- Clyde, you're a genius.
- I am?

We're gonna get out of
this with my original plan.

Aah!

You're doing it all wrong.

Just go on home.
I'll do it myself.

Hey, honey.
How was your day?

I made your favorite
pot roast,

and I lost all of our children.

kids: Dad!
- Kids?

Dad!

- Uh--ugh!
- Dad!

- Kids?
- The door doesn't open.

Sure it does.

all: No!

The door doesn't
open from this side.

Oh.

[snarling, growling]

It's the goat beast.

The what now?

The heroes are home.

Where is everybody?

Wow.

They didn't do a very
good job cleaning.

Everything falls apart
when I'm not here.

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

Oh, no.
- What?

Don't you see
what's happened?

Milkshake Marty
got his revenge.

But he's in jail.

I saw it with my own eyes.

He must have had some
henchmen on the outside.

They came in and crushed my
own family up in milkshake

and drank them.

They were all wearing silly
hats and having so much fun.

And now they're gone.

It's all because I was trying
to get out of doing chores.

[snarling, growling]

Sounds like the half-goat
half-rake is getting hungry.

It's half-goat half-snake.

That's much worse.

That's it.
I'm taking down the beast.

- Lola, no!
- I may be a scaredy cat,

but this scaredy cat's about
to kick some Mesopotamia butt.

Dance kick.
Pageant wave!

I should probably
go help her, right?

[snarling continues]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Boo.

- I found Lily.
- Lily?

- Hi.
- And the doorknob.

Our family's all together.

Lily, do you understand the
magnitude of this moment?

Magnitude.

Right!

Where is Lincoln?

Lincoln, it isn't your fault.

Yes, it is.

I know that I did
wrong, but if you

just gimme my family
back, I promise

to clean this entire house.

And I'll never try
to get out of doing

chores again, because
nothing means more to me

than my family.

- Hi.
- You guys are alive!

Clyde and I got
arrested for speeding

and then stopped
a major crime,

but we thought Milkshake
Marty drank you guys.

Okay. I don't know what
you're talking about,

but let's not tell
your mother that story.

all: Aww.

I'd love to hug forever,
but Lincoln's

gotta clean the house.

Well, that only
took 1,000 hours.

Guess we should start cleaning
the rest of the house.

At this pace, we should be
done by the end of the year.

Maybe by the
end of the month.

We just cleaned
the whole upstairs.

Make that
the end of the week.

- We cleaned the garage.
- And the yard.

Lynn and I did
the downstairs.

I didn't use the Zapmaster.

Wow.

Thank you, guys.

I really do have
the best family ever.

Strong words, sports fans.

And a happy ending to
this Cinderella story.

This is Lynn Loud
signing off forever.

Turns out sportscasting's
a lot of work.

Okay.

Now nobody spill
anything, okay?

[overlapping chatter]

Hey!
- Hi, Mom.

Wow.

The house looks amazing.

Thank you very much.
Get in here.

- Whoo!
- Yeah. Now, we're complete.

How did I ever doubt you?

It was a piece of cake.

It was very uneventful.

- Right.
- Right.

Hey, where are
Lincoln and Clyde?

Oh, I told them they
could skip the movie.

They were very excited
to hit the virtual beach.

[bright music]

♪ ♪

[dolphin chitters]

[chittering continues]

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