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[bright instrumental music]
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00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,793
♪ ♪
3
00:00:24,862 --> 00:00:26,655
Today is a big day.
4
00:00:26,724 --> 00:00:29,310
Today is the day
Lincoln Loud becomes a man.
5
00:00:30,827 --> 00:00:32,655
And I am super pumped.
6
00:00:32,724 --> 00:00:35,310
I've always been known
as the man with the plan,
7
00:00:35,379 --> 00:00:37,586
but tonight I'm going
to take it up a notch.
8
00:00:37,655 --> 00:00:39,344
My best friend Clyde and I
will be watching
9
00:00:39,413 --> 00:00:41,206
the "Rip Hardcore
Midnight Marathon"
10
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:43,344
and getting our official
Macho Man badges.
11
00:00:43,413 --> 00:00:45,517
Ooh!
Watch my midnight marathon.
12
00:00:45,586 --> 00:00:46,586
Yeah!
13
00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:48,379
Put in promo code "MACHOMAN."
14
00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:50,000
Oh, yeah. Macho!
15
00:00:50,068 --> 00:00:52,758
And I will personally send
you your Macho Man badge.
16
00:00:52,827 --> 00:00:54,241
Macho Man badges
are not gender specific.
17
00:00:54,310 --> 00:00:55,482
Rip Hardcore
isn't just super ripped.
18
00:00:55,551 --> 00:00:57,344
He's super woke
and super ripped.
19
00:00:57,413 --> 00:00:59,793
I am totally getting
that Macho Man badge!
20
00:00:59,862 --> 00:01:01,862
There's nothing
cooler than a badge.
21
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:04,206
That's why I want to join
the FBI as a badge maker.
22
00:01:05,448 --> 00:01:07,241
Maybe I'll even
grow some chest hair.
23
00:01:07,310 --> 00:01:09,137
Too pink?
[toilet flushing]
24
00:01:09,206 --> 00:01:11,344
When you're the only boy
in the family with 10 sisters,
25
00:01:11,413 --> 00:01:12,965
you learn two things.
26
00:01:13,034 --> 00:01:15,379
Number one, always
put the toilet seat down
27
00:01:15,448 --> 00:01:17,137
when you're finished.
- Ahh!
28
00:01:17,206 --> 00:01:18,896
Lincoln!
- My bad.
29
00:01:18,965 --> 00:01:20,448
- Where's my lucky guitar pick?
- And number two--
30
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Hey, stinkhead.
31
00:01:21,724 --> 00:01:23,034
You got to reserve
your TV time.
32
00:01:23,103 --> 00:01:24,586
Hops farted again!
33
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I've even staked out
my favorite spot on the couch.
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00:01:28,206 --> 00:01:29,551
[grunts]
35
00:01:30,620 --> 00:01:32,689
Guess this one's out of flips.
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00:01:32,758 --> 00:01:35,965
The only thing left to do
is prepare the midnight snacks.
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[snores]
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00:01:37,655 --> 00:01:39,931
Ah, the life of a chef.
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Poor guy works too hard.
40
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Dad? Dad?
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00:01:44,482 --> 00:01:45,724
Step aside, Lincoln.
42
00:01:45,793 --> 00:01:48,206
This is a job
for my gag flower.
43
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,862
Does that thing even work?
44
00:01:54,206 --> 00:01:56,275
OK, then.
45
00:01:56,344 --> 00:01:58,172
[squelching]
46
00:01:58,241 --> 00:01:59,517
And now it's out of water.
47
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:01,448
Where am I? What day is it?
48
00:02:01,517 --> 00:02:03,379
Did I miss my half birthday?
49
00:02:03,448 --> 00:02:05,655
My dad loves
his half birthday.
50
00:02:05,724 --> 00:02:08,344
Last thing I remember
is coming into the kitchen
51
00:02:08,413 --> 00:02:10,551
to fix a late-night chocolate
cake for my half birthday,
52
00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:12,379
which I love.
- Told you.
53
00:02:12,448 --> 00:02:15,137
♪ It's my half, half,
half birthday ♪
54
00:02:15,206 --> 00:02:17,793
♪ It's my half birthday ♪
55
00:02:17,862 --> 00:02:19,241
[screams]
56
00:02:19,310 --> 00:02:21,724
[thud, clatter]
57
00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:23,137
Hello, father.
58
00:02:23,206 --> 00:02:25,586
Lucy scared the ding-dang
dickens out of me,
59
00:02:25,655 --> 00:02:27,793
but only because it was
the middle of the night.
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00:02:27,862 --> 00:02:30,310
She doesn't scare me
during the day anymore.
61
00:02:30,379 --> 00:02:31,344
[screams]
62
00:02:31,413 --> 00:02:32,896
[thuds]
63
00:02:32,965 --> 00:02:34,689
I don't see what's
so scary about me.
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00:02:34,758 --> 00:02:37,862
[bloodcurdling scream]
65
00:02:37,931 --> 00:02:39,310
I'll get that later.
66
00:02:39,379 --> 00:02:40,758
[exhales]
67
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:41,896
What were you doing up
in the middle
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00:02:41,965 --> 00:02:43,344
of the night anyway?
69
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,689
If you must know,
I've been up 58 hours straight
70
00:02:45,758 --> 00:02:49,034
for my mortician club's
Three Nights of Fright.
71
00:02:49,103 --> 00:02:51,172
58 hours?
72
00:02:51,241 --> 00:02:54,482
Lincoln,
family meeting whistle.
73
00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:57,310
[whistle blares]
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00:02:57,379 --> 00:02:59,068
Another two-hour meeting
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00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:00,965
where Dad goes on
like an old man.
76
00:03:01,034 --> 00:03:02,517
[all chattering]
- Order!
77
00:03:02,586 --> 00:03:03,689
[all chattering]
78
00:03:03,758 --> 00:03:05,862
Order!
79
00:03:05,931 --> 00:03:07,275
Zip it, people!
80
00:03:07,344 --> 00:03:08,448
[chattering stops]
81
00:03:08,517 --> 00:03:10,034
Your father said order.
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00:03:10,103 --> 00:03:11,310
That I did.
83
00:03:11,379 --> 00:03:12,517
Now--[clears throat]
84
00:03:12,586 --> 00:03:14,896
as some of you may have heard--
85
00:03:14,965 --> 00:03:15,896
We know!
86
00:03:15,965 --> 00:03:18,827
Tomorrow is your half birthday!
87
00:03:18,896 --> 00:03:20,551
Tomorrow is my half birthday.
88
00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:21,896
But that's not what
this meeting's about.
89
00:03:21,965 --> 00:03:23,206
But feel free to mark
it in your calendars.
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00:03:23,275 --> 00:03:24,965
[chuckles] Moving on.
91
00:03:25,034 --> 00:03:26,758
Lucy--
92
00:03:26,827 --> 00:03:27,931
What?
93
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,206
Has been up
for three days straight.
94
00:03:30,275 --> 00:03:33,551
And last night, she scared
the bejesus out of me.
95
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:36,206
So there's going to be
a new rule around here.
96
00:03:36,275 --> 00:03:38,241
Probably going to be no
more sneaking up on people.
97
00:03:38,310 --> 00:03:39,689
[dramatic chord]
- You think so?
98
00:03:39,758 --> 00:03:41,689
[gasps] You should really
start wearing a bell.
99
00:03:41,758 --> 00:03:43,448
And the new rule is--
100
00:03:43,517 --> 00:03:45,896
[dramatic music]
101
00:03:45,965 --> 00:03:47,413
Everyone goes to bed
before midnight,
102
00:03:47,482 --> 00:03:48,344
not one minute later.
103
00:03:48,413 --> 00:03:50,241
No!
104
00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:51,758
This isn't fair!
It's Lucy's fault!
105
00:03:51,827 --> 00:03:53,275
Why should we have to suffer?
106
00:03:53,344 --> 00:03:54,275
Exactly, Dad.
107
00:03:54,344 --> 00:03:56,413
[all chattering]
108
00:03:57,689 --> 00:03:58,862
Order!
109
00:03:58,931 --> 00:04:00,103
Order!
110
00:04:00,172 --> 00:04:02,206
Don't make me have to count.
111
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:03,241
Here we go.
112
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:06,379
1, 2--
113
00:04:06,448 --> 00:04:07,931
[chatter stops]
114
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,000
[exhales]
115
00:04:09,068 --> 00:04:10,275
You did it, honey.
116
00:04:10,344 --> 00:04:12,000
Sorry I had to be
so harsh with them.
117
00:04:12,068 --> 00:04:15,068
In this house, it's all
for one and one for all.
118
00:04:15,137 --> 00:04:17,413
And Lucy's not the first kid
to make a mistake.
119
00:04:17,482 --> 00:04:18,448
Yeah, Mom's right.
120
00:04:18,517 --> 00:04:19,413
You've all been responsible
121
00:04:19,482 --> 00:04:20,517
for new rules around here.
122
00:04:20,586 --> 00:04:23,241
[upbeat music]
123
00:04:23,310 --> 00:04:24,586
What?
124
00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,482
You said we could have
one bowl of ice cream.
125
00:04:26,551 --> 00:04:27,896
New rule!
126
00:04:27,965 --> 00:04:31,000
One normal-sized bowl
of ice cream per kid.
127
00:04:31,068 --> 00:04:32,724
By the way,
we're out of mint chip.
128
00:04:32,793 --> 00:04:34,413
- Really? The whole time?
- The whole time.
129
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,862
[hissing]
130
00:04:38,275 --> 00:04:39,379
Don't worry.
131
00:04:39,448 --> 00:04:40,517
El Diablo won't hurt you.
132
00:04:40,586 --> 00:04:42,034
I found him in the sewer.
133
00:04:42,103 --> 00:04:43,655
[whispering] New rule.
134
00:04:43,724 --> 00:04:46,448
No bringing home stray pets.
135
00:04:47,482 --> 00:04:48,896
Sorry, Mud Pie.
136
00:04:48,965 --> 00:04:51,275
[moos]
137
00:04:51,344 --> 00:04:52,620
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
138
00:04:52,689 --> 00:04:55,068
It is not up for debate!
139
00:04:55,137 --> 00:04:58,413
Effective today, no one
stays up past midnight.
140
00:04:58,482 --> 00:05:00,275
[dramatic drum music]
141
00:05:00,344 --> 00:05:01,724
♪ ♪
142
00:05:01,793 --> 00:05:04,241
Now I'm going to go clean
and repair Vanzilla.
143
00:05:04,310 --> 00:05:05,517
I don't want to do it tomorrow
because tomorrow
144
00:05:05,586 --> 00:05:08,000
is my, uh, half--
- We know!
145
00:05:08,068 --> 00:05:09,241
Oh.
146
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:11,103
Feel free to mark it
in your calendars.
147
00:05:12,655 --> 00:05:14,482
I need to come up
with a plan.
148
00:05:14,551 --> 00:05:15,931
This is not fair.
149
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,413
Man, that guy's obsessed
with his half birthday.
150
00:05:18,482 --> 00:05:19,827
[ding]
151
00:05:19,896 --> 00:05:21,000
Bingo!
152
00:05:24,275 --> 00:05:26,896
[all chattering]
153
00:05:28,379 --> 00:05:29,965
OK, so here's the plan.
154
00:05:30,034 --> 00:05:31,586
Tonight at midnight,
you guys take Dad out
155
00:05:31,655 --> 00:05:33,034
to Jean Juan's French Mex
156
00:05:33,103 --> 00:05:34,448
for a half birthday celebration.
157
00:05:34,517 --> 00:05:36,137
I will stay here and watch
158
00:05:36,206 --> 00:05:37,758
the "Rip Hardcore
Midnight Marathon"
159
00:05:37,827 --> 00:05:39,310
and get my Macho Man badge.
160
00:05:39,379 --> 00:05:41,931
Look, Lincoln, I'm only home
from college for two days.
161
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,827
And we all have
a lot of stuff to do.
162
00:05:43,896 --> 00:05:45,724
So if you want us to help you,
163
00:05:45,793 --> 00:05:47,000
you're going to have to help us
with our stuff.
164
00:05:47,068 --> 00:05:49,241
- Yeah.
- What do you need help with?
165
00:05:49,310 --> 00:05:52,172
[all speaking at once]
166
00:05:55,275 --> 00:05:57,103
Clyde? Got a code--
167
00:05:57,172 --> 00:05:58,586
Red?
168
00:05:59,689 --> 00:06:01,000
How did you know that?
169
00:06:01,068 --> 00:06:03,241
Let's just say
I "red" your mind.
170
00:06:03,310 --> 00:06:04,620
OK.
171
00:06:04,689 --> 00:06:06,103
Clyde and I will help
you with your stuff,
172
00:06:06,172 --> 00:06:09,448
but we have to get moving
because the clock is ticking.
173
00:06:09,517 --> 00:06:11,827
Macho.
174
00:06:11,896 --> 00:06:14,551
Clincoln McCloud,
let's do this.
175
00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:16,034
Hah!
176
00:06:16,103 --> 00:06:17,655
I need you to help me
brush my pageant wigs.
177
00:06:18,758 --> 00:06:23,689
Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
178
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,310
Good job.
179
00:06:25,379 --> 00:06:26,482
Here's the rest of them.
180
00:06:26,551 --> 00:06:28,103
[dramatic tone]
181
00:06:29,413 --> 00:06:30,586
Oh.
182
00:06:30,655 --> 00:06:32,206
There's more.
183
00:06:32,275 --> 00:06:34,103
♪ ♪
184
00:06:34,172 --> 00:06:35,310
[sighs]
185
00:06:35,379 --> 00:06:37,000
Somebody stole
my boss's tofu sandwich
186
00:06:37,068 --> 00:06:38,586
from the break room at work,
and now she wants all of us
187
00:06:38,655 --> 00:06:39,931
to take a lie detector test.
188
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,793
I need to practice
telling the truth.
189
00:06:41,862 --> 00:06:43,931
Any time you lie, it buzzes.
190
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,310
OK, you're not the only
sister I have to help.
191
00:06:45,379 --> 00:06:46,586
How long will this take?
192
00:06:46,655 --> 00:06:48,586
It'll go really fast.
[buzzer blares]
193
00:06:48,655 --> 00:06:50,137
Kind of fast.
[buzzer blares]
194
00:06:50,206 --> 00:06:51,413
It might take
a really long time.
195
00:06:51,482 --> 00:06:52,689
[bell dings]
196
00:06:52,758 --> 00:06:54,103
But just ask me
an easy question.
197
00:06:54,172 --> 00:06:55,655
- Am I your favorite brother?
- Yes.
198
00:06:55,724 --> 00:06:56,862
[buzzer blares]
199
00:06:56,931 --> 00:06:58,827
Leni, I'm your only brother.
200
00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:02,137
I know, but sometimes you
can be a little annoying.
201
00:07:02,206 --> 00:07:03,689
[buzzer blares]
Pretty annoying.
202
00:07:03,758 --> 00:07:05,000
[buzzer blares]
OK, fine.
203
00:07:05,068 --> 00:07:06,379
You're really annoying.
204
00:07:06,448 --> 00:07:07,793
[bell dings]
205
00:07:09,172 --> 00:07:10,724
OK, so I need
a really funny closing joke
206
00:07:10,793 --> 00:07:11,724
for my comedy act.
207
00:07:11,793 --> 00:07:12,896
What do you think?
208
00:07:12,965 --> 00:07:14,275
Have a great night.
209
00:07:14,344 --> 00:07:18,310
And if you're driving home,
please take a car.
210
00:07:18,379 --> 00:07:19,482
[chuckles]
211
00:07:19,551 --> 00:07:22,344
Oh my gosh,
that is so funny.
212
00:07:22,413 --> 00:07:24,137
Great job. 'Kay, bye.
213
00:07:24,206 --> 00:07:25,620
Not so fast.
214
00:07:25,689 --> 00:07:27,586
I got about 50 other options,
and you're not leaving
215
00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:29,758
until you hear them all.
216
00:07:29,827 --> 00:07:32,034
Two fish are in a tank,
and one of them says,
217
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,931
how do you drive this thing?
218
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,724
Why did the chicken cross
the playground?
219
00:07:35,793 --> 00:07:38,137
To get to the other slide.
220
00:07:38,206 --> 00:07:39,724
Bobby literally
sent me the most
221
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,379
romantic anniversary text.
222
00:07:41,448 --> 00:07:44,862
I tried to send him one,
but I think I need your help.
223
00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:47,034
I'm sure what
you wrote is great.
224
00:07:47,103 --> 00:07:49,586
"Bobby, I literally love
that you never litter.
225
00:07:49,655 --> 00:07:51,793
"If you literally ever litter,
you pick it up later,
226
00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:53,448
"which is literally
not littering.
227
00:07:53,517 --> 00:07:55,620
Happy anniversary."
228
00:07:56,862 --> 00:07:58,965
Was that awful?
- Literally.
229
00:07:59,034 --> 00:08:01,448
Tomorrow is my hockey team's
championship game,
230
00:08:01,517 --> 00:08:04,034
and I need to come up with
the perfect motivational speech
231
00:08:04,103 --> 00:08:05,413
to, uh--
232
00:08:05,482 --> 00:08:07,034
- Motivate them?
- Yes!
233
00:08:07,103 --> 00:08:11,241
See, this is why I need you,
Mr. Good-with-Words Guy.
234
00:08:11,310 --> 00:08:12,724
Let me give you
what I got so far.
235
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,275
[clears throat]
236
00:08:14,344 --> 00:08:16,793
We got to win this game,
you space wasters!
237
00:08:16,862 --> 00:08:18,241
[thuds]
- Oh!
238
00:08:18,310 --> 00:08:20,482
[air horn blares]
239
00:08:20,551 --> 00:08:23,137
I'm entering Todd
in a robotics competition,
240
00:08:23,206 --> 00:08:26,310
and it seems another contestant
also has a robot named Todd.
241
00:08:26,379 --> 00:08:28,620
Why can't he change
his robot name?
242
00:08:28,689 --> 00:08:30,448
[sighs]
243
00:08:30,517 --> 00:08:33,827
His Todd was named after his
recently deceased grandfather.
244
00:08:33,896 --> 00:08:35,482
Some guys have all the luck.
245
00:08:35,551 --> 00:08:36,896
So you need me to come up
with a new name
246
00:08:36,965 --> 00:08:38,000
for Robot Todd?
247
00:08:38,068 --> 00:08:39,758
- Precisely.
- How about Beau?
248
00:08:39,827 --> 00:08:41,172
- No.
- Jamie?
249
00:08:41,241 --> 00:08:42,482
Lame-y.
250
00:08:42,551 --> 00:08:45,275
This is a list of names
that I don't like.
251
00:08:46,896 --> 00:08:49,655
We've been here for hours.
252
00:08:49,724 --> 00:08:53,103
The world record for a guinea
pig jump is 48 centimeters.
253
00:08:53,172 --> 00:08:54,758
Sprinks here is going
to shatter that record
254
00:08:54,827 --> 00:08:57,172
by a full 2 centimeters.
255
00:08:57,241 --> 00:08:59,068
But according to the big shots
at Guinness,
256
00:08:59,137 --> 00:09:01,241
I need a witness to verify it.
257
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,655
Fly, Sprinks!
258
00:09:04,724 --> 00:09:07,448
[triumphant music]
259
00:09:07,517 --> 00:09:08,586
[music fades]
260
00:09:08,655 --> 00:09:11,448
Probably just nerves.
261
00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:14,379
[electric guitar playing]
262
00:09:14,448 --> 00:09:19,103
♪ ♪
263
00:09:19,172 --> 00:09:20,413
Oh, hey, little dude.
264
00:09:20,482 --> 00:09:22,310
I'm just finishing up
this banging track.
265
00:09:22,379 --> 00:09:25,896
But it's missing a little
sultry southern sound,
266
00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:27,827
a.k.a. the cowbell.
267
00:09:27,896 --> 00:09:29,034
So grab a drumstick.
268
00:09:29,103 --> 00:09:30,482
I need some cowbell.
269
00:09:30,551 --> 00:09:32,551
Lincoln, where are you?
270
00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:34,034
I got to go.
271
00:09:36,689 --> 00:09:38,275
Lucy?
272
00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:40,344
[door creaks]
273
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,655
[eerie music]
274
00:09:42,724 --> 00:09:43,793
♪ ♪
275
00:09:43,862 --> 00:09:45,000
Lucy?
276
00:09:47,344 --> 00:09:48,655
[screams]
277
00:09:48,724 --> 00:09:50,137
Hello, brother.
278
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,068
Please stop doing that.
279
00:09:53,137 --> 00:09:55,448
She scared me too.
280
00:09:55,517 --> 00:09:57,965
Let's not mention this in
our Macho Man applications.
281
00:09:58,034 --> 00:09:59,620
Why don't we just
ask your dad
282
00:09:59,689 --> 00:10:00,862
if he'll change
the bedtime rule?
283
00:10:00,931 --> 00:10:02,827
He's fixing Vanzilla today.
284
00:10:02,896 --> 00:10:04,689
It's not a good time
to ask him for stuff.
285
00:10:04,758 --> 00:10:07,517
I am not a good mechanic!
286
00:10:07,586 --> 00:10:12,000
I just wanted to replace
the windshield wiper fluid!
287
00:10:13,310 --> 00:10:14,827
I need to stay up
for five more hours
288
00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:16,689
to complete
my Three Nights of Fright.
289
00:10:16,758 --> 00:10:19,413
And although I'd never admit
it to my fellow club members,
290
00:10:19,482 --> 00:10:21,034
I'm fading.
291
00:10:21,103 --> 00:10:23,275
I need you to keep me awake.
292
00:10:23,344 --> 00:10:24,758
This isn't going to work, Lincoln.
293
00:10:24,827 --> 00:10:25,862
We're running out of time.
294
00:10:25,931 --> 00:10:27,310
You have too many sisters.
295
00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:30,379
That's it, Clyde!
[ding]
296
00:10:30,448 --> 00:10:32,000
I just had another idea.
297
00:10:32,068 --> 00:10:34,517
Come with me.
[upbeat music]
298
00:10:34,586 --> 00:10:37,620
You need a cowbell player
to go with your blaring solos.
299
00:10:37,689 --> 00:10:39,413
You need to stay awake.
300
00:10:39,482 --> 00:10:43,137
♪ ♪
301
00:10:43,206 --> 00:10:45,482
You need to know
if your joke's actually funny.
302
00:10:45,551 --> 00:10:48,310
You need to practice
telling the truth.
303
00:10:48,379 --> 00:10:50,206
You need your guinea pig
to set a world record.
304
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,551
[grunts]
305
00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:52,896
You need to practice
your motivational speech.
306
00:10:52,965 --> 00:10:54,965
- Let's do this!
- Yeah!
307
00:10:55,034 --> 00:10:58,482
You need to write your
boyfriend a romantic text.
308
00:10:58,551 --> 00:11:00,000
Clyde can help you write it.
309
00:11:00,068 --> 00:11:01,931
He's the best at this stuff.
310
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,586
I wouldn't say I'm the best.
311
00:11:04,655 --> 00:11:06,172
[clears throat]
312
00:11:06,241 --> 00:11:09,586
Bobby, how lucky am I that
in this infinite universe
313
00:11:09,655 --> 00:11:13,827
our souls exist in the same
place at the same time?
314
00:11:15,172 --> 00:11:18,793
Love that is true,
love that is real,
315
00:11:18,862 --> 00:11:21,241
love that is love.
316
00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:22,965
Oh, Clyde.
317
00:11:23,034 --> 00:11:25,758
That is literally so perfect.
318
00:11:25,827 --> 00:11:29,448
My dads and I watch a lot
of romantic comedies together.
319
00:11:29,517 --> 00:11:31,448
Oh, and if you could
run through an airport
320
00:11:31,517 --> 00:11:33,793
and read him your text right
before he gets on an airplane,
321
00:11:33,862 --> 00:11:35,068
that'd be ideal.
322
00:11:35,137 --> 00:11:37,413
[text whooshes]
323
00:11:37,482 --> 00:11:38,551
I did it!
324
00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:40,241
I sent the perfect text!
325
00:11:42,413 --> 00:11:45,310
[music playing]
326
00:11:45,379 --> 00:11:48,172
♪ ♪
327
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,103
I laid down
the perfect track.
328
00:11:50,172 --> 00:11:53,862
I stayed up
for 72 hours straight.
329
00:11:53,931 --> 00:11:55,034
[thuds]
330
00:11:55,103 --> 00:11:57,172
I said sprocket, not socket.
331
00:11:57,241 --> 00:11:59,862
[laughs]
That was a really funny joke.
332
00:11:59,931 --> 00:12:02,137
[bell dings]
333
00:12:02,206 --> 00:12:03,758
I wrote a funny closing joke!
334
00:12:03,827 --> 00:12:05,379
I told the truth!
335
00:12:05,448 --> 00:12:07,896
You gotta ask
yourself one question--
336
00:12:07,965 --> 00:12:09,793
how bad do I want it?
337
00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:11,586
Now go get it!
338
00:12:12,793 --> 00:12:15,586
[dramatic triumphant music]
339
00:12:15,655 --> 00:12:22,586
♪ ♪
340
00:12:25,586 --> 00:12:27,310
Yes!
341
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:29,000
I'm getting
in the "Guinness Book"!
342
00:12:29,068 --> 00:12:30,413
I wrote the perfect speech!
343
00:12:30,482 --> 00:12:32,068
Yes!
344
00:12:32,137 --> 00:12:33,862
[both grunt]
345
00:12:33,931 --> 00:12:36,620
[gasps]
I brushed all my pageant wigs!
346
00:12:37,862 --> 00:12:39,241
All that's left
to do is come up
347
00:12:39,310 --> 00:12:42,137
with a name for Lisa's robot,
and then operation
348
00:12:42,206 --> 00:12:44,034
watch "Rip Hardcore"
and get my Macho Man badge
349
00:12:44,103 --> 00:12:45,310
while you guys take dad out
350
00:12:45,379 --> 00:12:47,862
for his half birthday
is ready to launch
351
00:12:47,931 --> 00:12:49,413
with time to spare.
352
00:12:49,482 --> 00:12:52,000
[clock ticking]
- Macho.
353
00:12:52,068 --> 00:12:53,586
I may be a genius, Lola.
354
00:12:53,655 --> 00:12:55,655
But what do you think's going
to happen when Dad notices
355
00:12:55,724 --> 00:12:57,275
you're not at his party?
356
00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:58,827
I didn't think about that.
357
00:12:58,896 --> 00:13:00,241
If Dad sees I'm not there,
358
00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:02,000
then he's going to want
to come get me.
359
00:13:02,068 --> 00:13:03,827
How could I have missed this?
360
00:13:03,896 --> 00:13:08,034
I'm the man with the plan,
but my plan was flawed.
361
00:13:08,103 --> 00:13:10,137
I have to be here
to get my Macho Man badge,
362
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:11,931
but I have to be there
so Dad doesn't find out
363
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,241
I skipped his party.
364
00:13:13,310 --> 00:13:15,896
Too bad you can't
be two places at once.
365
00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:17,793
Or can I?
366
00:13:17,862 --> 00:13:18,862
[ding]
367
00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:20,551
The man with the plan is back.
368
00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:23,551
Lincoln.
369
00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:24,620
Excuse me?
370
00:13:26,448 --> 00:13:28,275
We're going to name
your robot Lincoln.
371
00:13:32,827 --> 00:13:35,724
[mariachi music]
372
00:13:35,793 --> 00:13:37,931
♪ ♪
373
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,344
[mechanical whirring]
374
00:13:40,413 --> 00:13:42,413
I am having such a good time.
375
00:13:44,137 --> 00:13:45,379
[chuckles]
376
00:13:45,448 --> 00:13:47,965
Gwen, how's that beef baguette
in a bread bowl?
377
00:13:48,034 --> 00:13:49,551
Great. Perfect pre-game meal
378
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,413
for my hockey championship tomorrow.
379
00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:53,103
Carbo load!
380
00:13:53,172 --> 00:13:55,586
You still need
to chew carbs, sweetie.
381
00:13:55,655 --> 00:13:56,862
I do?
382
00:13:56,931 --> 00:13:58,448
[rock music]
383
00:13:58,517 --> 00:14:00,620
So the man with the plan
came through again.
384
00:14:00,689 --> 00:14:04,413
In 13 minutes, we're going
to be official Macho Men.
385
00:14:04,482 --> 00:14:06,172
What happens
if your dad notices
386
00:14:06,241 --> 00:14:07,724
it's a robot and not you?
387
00:14:07,793 --> 00:14:10,137
Why does everyone keep
poking holes in my plan?
388
00:14:10,206 --> 00:14:11,517
Let's check Lisa's robot cam.
389
00:14:13,068 --> 00:14:14,275
How about you, Linc?
390
00:14:14,344 --> 00:14:15,965
How's that burger
treating you?
391
00:14:16,034 --> 00:14:18,793
[suspenseful music]
392
00:14:18,862 --> 00:14:25,793
♪ ♪
393
00:14:25,862 --> 00:14:27,620
[robotic voice] The modern
hamburger was a result
394
00:14:27,689 --> 00:14:29,379
of the emergence
of the working class
395
00:14:29,448 --> 00:14:30,931
and the demand
for mass-produced,
396
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,241
affordable food.
397
00:14:32,310 --> 00:14:35,517
♪ ♪
398
00:14:35,586 --> 00:14:36,551
Oh, no.
399
00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:38,344
[whispering] What's going on?
400
00:14:38,413 --> 00:14:40,758
Sometimes the artificial
intelligence mode overrides
401
00:14:40,827 --> 00:14:42,655
conversational tones.
402
00:14:42,724 --> 00:14:45,655
[tense music]
403
00:14:45,724 --> 00:14:52,620
♪ ♪
404
00:14:54,137 --> 00:14:55,344
Wow, Linc, you've really been
boning up
405
00:14:55,413 --> 00:14:56,551
on your meat trivia, huh?
406
00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:57,827
Good job, buddy.
407
00:14:57,896 --> 00:14:59,413
[sighs]
408
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:00,517
Yeah.
409
00:15:00,586 --> 00:15:01,551
Lincoln.
410
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:04,206
It worked!
411
00:15:04,275 --> 00:15:05,862
I never had any doubts.
412
00:15:05,931 --> 00:15:07,344
[exhales]
413
00:15:07,413 --> 00:15:09,862
T-minus 10 minutes
till the midnight marathon.
414
00:15:09,931 --> 00:15:12,655
I think I just felt
a chest hair come in.
415
00:15:12,724 --> 00:15:13,965
How you doing?
416
00:15:14,034 --> 00:15:15,862
[sighs] I've never
felt like more of a man.
417
00:15:15,931 --> 00:15:16,965
[timer dings]
418
00:15:17,034 --> 00:15:18,448
My lemon bars are ready.
419
00:15:19,724 --> 00:15:24,827
all: ♪ Happy half birthday
to you ♪
420
00:15:24,896 --> 00:15:30,931
♪ You ♪
421
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,655
You're welcome.
422
00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,000
Here we go.
423
00:15:34,068 --> 00:15:35,551
[inhales]
424
00:15:35,620 --> 00:15:37,448
Make sure not to verbalize
your wish, Father.
425
00:15:37,517 --> 00:15:39,965
It is considered taboo.
426
00:15:40,034 --> 00:15:41,275
You know what, buddy?
427
00:15:41,344 --> 00:15:43,379
I don't need to make a wish,
because tonight,
428
00:15:43,448 --> 00:15:45,448
all my wishes have come true.
429
00:15:45,517 --> 00:15:47,517
- Aww.
- [chuckles]
430
00:15:47,586 --> 00:15:49,206
- Diablo sauce?
- [screams]
431
00:15:49,275 --> 00:15:50,896
[water splashes]
[electrical buzzing]
432
00:15:50,965 --> 00:15:54,000
Parfaits--
the modern hamburger--happy--
433
00:15:54,068 --> 00:15:55,068
[voice deepens] Meat trivia.
434
00:15:55,137 --> 00:15:56,137
[all scream]
435
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:57,482
Oh!
436
00:15:57,551 --> 00:15:58,758
Fire!
437
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:00,000
Fire. Ow.
438
00:16:00,068 --> 00:16:03,275
Pain. I'm melting.
439
00:16:03,344 --> 00:16:05,862
[dramatic music]
440
00:16:05,931 --> 00:16:07,482
[mechanical chirps]
441
00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:09,655
What is going on here?
442
00:16:10,896 --> 00:16:13,517
That's not Lincoln, Dad.
443
00:16:16,137 --> 00:16:17,448
It's Todd.
444
00:16:17,517 --> 00:16:19,689
I programmed him
to have Lincoln's voice.
445
00:16:19,758 --> 00:16:20,965
What?
446
00:16:21,034 --> 00:16:22,517
Well, why?
447
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:27,689
Ahh! All you hardcore fans,
448
00:16:27,758 --> 00:16:30,517
enter the promo code
"MACHOMAN" right now.
449
00:16:30,586 --> 00:16:32,689
You'll receive your Macho Man
badges in three to five
450
00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:34,586
business days, three to five!
451
00:16:34,655 --> 00:16:35,758
I'm going to enter
the promo code.
452
00:16:35,827 --> 00:16:37,379
- On it.
- It's now or never
453
00:16:37,448 --> 00:16:39,379
for your Macho Man dreams
to come true!
454
00:16:39,448 --> 00:16:40,655
Lincoln wanted
to stay up to watch
455
00:16:40,724 --> 00:16:42,000
the midnight marathon
so that he
456
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,517
could get his Macho Man badge.
457
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:46,275
He asked us to take you out
for your half birthday.
458
00:16:46,344 --> 00:16:48,310
So you wouldn't
make him go to bed.
459
00:16:48,379 --> 00:16:50,034
So the only reason
you're all here
460
00:16:50,103 --> 00:16:51,862
is to help Lincoln
with his scheme.
461
00:16:51,931 --> 00:16:54,655
[light tense music]
462
00:16:54,724 --> 00:16:55,827
♪ ♪
463
00:16:55,896 --> 00:16:56,965
Yeah.
464
00:16:57,034 --> 00:16:58,344
Well, don't I feel
like a fool.
465
00:16:58,413 --> 00:17:00,241
Why aren't you filling
in your Macho Man code?
466
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:01,689
Last chance
to enter the code
467
00:17:01,758 --> 00:17:04,172
and get your Macho Man badge!
468
00:17:04,241 --> 00:17:07,103
You know, when I was a kid,
there was this really
469
00:17:07,172 --> 00:17:10,517
popular guy named Jake Strong.
470
00:17:11,724 --> 00:17:13,413
And we had the exact
same birthday.
471
00:17:13,482 --> 00:17:15,655
And every year,
all the neighborhood kids
472
00:17:15,724 --> 00:17:19,000
would go to Jake's party,
and no one would come to mine.
473
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,379
And my mom, she tried to entice
the kids to come to the party.
474
00:17:22,448 --> 00:17:25,103
One year, we even had
a miniature pony.
475
00:17:25,172 --> 00:17:27,275
But it didn't work.
476
00:17:27,344 --> 00:17:28,275
Nobody came?
477
00:17:28,344 --> 00:17:30,103
No.
478
00:17:30,172 --> 00:17:33,310
That pony bucked me off
and ran straight to Jake's.
479
00:17:34,793 --> 00:17:37,551
I think he was attracted
to all the music and laughter.
480
00:17:37,620 --> 00:17:41,655
Anyway, my mom had
this amazing idea.
481
00:17:41,724 --> 00:17:45,241
And she decided that instead
of trying to compete with Jake,
482
00:17:45,310 --> 00:17:48,310
we'd start celebrating
my half birthday.
483
00:17:49,275 --> 00:17:50,931
And it worked.
484
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,275
All the kids came.
485
00:17:52,344 --> 00:17:55,448
And you know,
I just was never happier.
486
00:17:55,517 --> 00:17:57,586
[sentimental music]
487
00:17:57,655 --> 00:17:59,206
And I always dreamed
that you guys would throw me
488
00:17:59,275 --> 00:18:01,068
a half birthday party,
489
00:18:01,137 --> 00:18:04,206
but I guess some things
are too good to be true.
490
00:18:04,275 --> 00:18:05,896
10, 9--
491
00:18:05,965 --> 00:18:09,000
Lincoln, 10 seconds
or you won't get your badge.
492
00:18:09,068 --> 00:18:12,103
6, 5, 4--
493
00:18:12,172 --> 00:18:13,793
You know what, Clyde?
494
00:18:13,862 --> 00:18:15,758
I don't feel like
a Macho Man right now.
495
00:18:15,827 --> 00:18:17,793
[grunts] Get your badge.
496
00:18:19,482 --> 00:18:21,689
I guess I'll just call a cab
to take us home
497
00:18:21,758 --> 00:18:24,000
since I couldn't fix
Vanzilla either.
498
00:18:24,068 --> 00:18:25,344
Oh, honey.
499
00:18:25,413 --> 00:18:26,862
No.
500
00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:28,655
I already called a cab.
501
00:18:28,724 --> 00:18:29,586
[sighs]
502
00:18:29,655 --> 00:18:32,137
[mechanical whirring]
503
00:18:32,206 --> 00:18:34,724
♪ ♪
504
00:18:34,793 --> 00:18:35,827
Hey, Todd.
505
00:18:36,965 --> 00:18:38,172
[grunts]
506
00:18:38,241 --> 00:18:40,448
[mariachi music playing]
507
00:18:40,517 --> 00:18:42,482
I love cake.
508
00:18:42,551 --> 00:18:45,448
[somber music]
509
00:18:45,517 --> 00:18:47,758
♪ ♪
510
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,379
Surprise!
511
00:18:49,448 --> 00:18:51,551
Wait, wh-- what?
512
00:18:52,482 --> 00:18:55,344
all: Surprise?
513
00:18:55,413 --> 00:18:57,172
It's your surprise
half birthday party.
514
00:18:57,241 --> 00:18:58,344
I had to get you
out of the house
515
00:18:58,413 --> 00:19:00,034
so we could decorate,
right, guys?
516
00:19:00,103 --> 00:19:01,448
Yeah.
517
00:19:01,517 --> 00:19:02,896
[all speaking at once]
518
00:19:02,965 --> 00:19:06,448
Wait, so that whole story
about Lincoln's plan?
519
00:19:06,517 --> 00:19:09,655
It was all part of our
bigger plan, right, guys?
520
00:19:09,724 --> 00:19:11,000
- Yeah.
- Of course.
521
00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:12,379
[overlapping chatter]
522
00:19:12,448 --> 00:19:14,103
Wait, you were all
in on this?
523
00:19:14,172 --> 00:19:15,344
Yeah.
524
00:19:15,413 --> 00:19:16,862
It's like you said, Dad.
525
00:19:16,931 --> 00:19:19,379
In the Loud House, it is
all for one and one for all.
526
00:19:19,448 --> 00:19:21,241
[sentimental music]
527
00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:23,586
And...
528
00:19:25,517 --> 00:19:28,586
We have another
special surprise for you.
529
00:19:28,655 --> 00:19:30,620
I wrote you
a half birthday song.
530
00:19:30,689 --> 00:19:32,620
I don't think this
could get any better.
531
00:19:32,689 --> 00:19:35,275
And I'm going to kick
it with a little cowbell.
532
00:19:35,344 --> 00:19:36,551
It just did.
533
00:19:37,965 --> 00:19:39,689
My real birthday
was just a couple weeks ago,
534
00:19:39,758 --> 00:19:41,586
and nobody remembered.
[chuckles]
535
00:19:41,655 --> 00:19:42,827
[rock music playing]
536
00:19:42,896 --> 00:19:45,000
You know what?
all: What?
537
00:19:45,068 --> 00:19:46,827
♪ Let's just rock
this thing ♪
538
00:19:46,896 --> 00:19:49,551
[cheering]
- 1, 2, 3, 4!
539
00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:52,448
♪ You thought
we didn't listen ♪
540
00:19:52,517 --> 00:19:53,551
all: ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
541
00:19:53,620 --> 00:19:56,137
♪ Listen, you thought wrong ♪
542
00:19:56,206 --> 00:19:57,482
all: ♪ Yeah ♪
543
00:19:57,551 --> 00:20:00,517
♪ We've news for you, Dad ♪
544
00:20:00,586 --> 00:20:02,206
♪ You're not just great ♪
545
00:20:02,275 --> 00:20:03,586
♪ You're rad! ♪
546
00:20:03,655 --> 00:20:05,655
♪ Happy half birthday ♪
547
00:20:05,724 --> 00:20:07,379
all: ♪ Happy half birthday ♪
548
00:20:07,448 --> 00:20:11,448
♪ Happy half birthday to
the best dad in the world ♪
549
00:20:11,517 --> 00:20:15,344
♪ Happy half birthday
from your house full of girls ♪
550
00:20:15,413 --> 00:20:17,103
both: ♪ And boys ♪
551
00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:18,379
♪ Ooh, oh, oh ♪
552
00:20:18,448 --> 00:20:19,896
♪ Ooh, oh, oh ♪
553
00:20:19,965 --> 00:20:22,379
all: ♪ Happy half birthday ♪
554
00:20:22,448 --> 00:20:23,758
♪ Happy, happy, yeah ♪
555
00:20:23,827 --> 00:20:26,517
♪ Big fun is our goal ♪
556
00:20:26,586 --> 00:20:27,758
all: ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
557
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:30,275
♪ That's just how we roll ♪
558
00:20:30,344 --> 00:20:31,689
all: Hey!
559
00:20:31,758 --> 00:20:34,344
♪ We hope you like
this song ♪
560
00:20:34,413 --> 00:20:38,655
all: ♪ And so you know, you're
way cooler than Jake Strong ♪
561
00:20:38,724 --> 00:20:41,034
♪ Happy half birthday! ♪
562
00:20:41,103 --> 00:20:42,551
Yeah!
563
00:20:42,620 --> 00:20:44,000
- Love you, Dad!
- Love you, Dad!
564
00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:45,241
Thank you!
565
00:20:45,310 --> 00:20:47,275
That was--that was perfect.
566
00:20:47,344 --> 00:20:49,620
Where are Leni and Lana?
567
00:20:49,689 --> 00:20:52,448
What would a half birthday
be without a big present?
568
00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:54,275
[bright orchestral music]
569
00:20:56,137 --> 00:20:57,724
Please be a pony.
570
00:20:57,793 --> 00:21:01,517
[gasps]
Vanzilla, you're beautiful.
571
00:21:01,586 --> 00:21:03,448
She's purring like a kitten.
572
00:21:03,517 --> 00:21:06,344
♪ ♪
573
00:21:06,413 --> 00:21:08,344
Vanzilla!
574
00:21:08,413 --> 00:21:11,241
And I combined all my ribbons
from my ribbon collection
575
00:21:11,310 --> 00:21:12,931
to make that pretty bow.
576
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,793
♪ ♪
577
00:21:15,862 --> 00:21:17,000
Aww.
578
00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:21,551
This is the greatest
night of my life.
579
00:21:21,620 --> 00:21:23,793
And I am the luckiest dad
in the world
580
00:21:23,862 --> 00:21:26,137
because I have
the best kids ever.
581
00:21:27,517 --> 00:21:28,689
Wait.
582
00:21:28,758 --> 00:21:30,551
Linc, what about
your midnight marathon
583
00:21:30,620 --> 00:21:31,793
and your Macho Man badge?
584
00:21:31,862 --> 00:21:33,758
I don't mean a badge
from Rip Hardcore
585
00:21:33,827 --> 00:21:36,586
to prove that I'm a man,
because a real man
586
00:21:36,655 --> 00:21:38,586
is a guy who loves
his family and always
587
00:21:38,655 --> 00:21:40,137
does the right thing.
588
00:21:40,206 --> 00:21:42,448
♪ ♪
589
00:21:42,517 --> 00:21:44,275
[rock music playing]
590
00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:45,827
♪ ♪
591
00:21:45,896 --> 00:21:46,862
all: Yeah!
592
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:53,862
♪ ♪
593
00:21:58,275 --> 00:21:59,896
[mechanical whirring]
594
00:21:59,965 --> 00:22:04,034
It seems there really is
no stronger bond than family.
595
00:22:04,103 --> 00:22:09,241
♪ ♪
596
00:22:12,241 --> 00:22:13,620
[rock music playing]
- You know what?
597
00:22:13,689 --> 00:22:15,517
- What?
- Let's just rock this thing!
598
00:22:15,586 --> 00:22:17,000
[cheering]
599
00:22:17,068 --> 00:22:18,896
all: 1, 2, 3, 4!
600
00:22:18,965 --> 00:22:21,482
♪ You thought
we didn't listen ♪
601
00:22:21,551 --> 00:22:22,965
all: ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
602
00:22:23,034 --> 00:22:25,448
♪ Listen,
you thought wrong ♪
603
00:22:25,517 --> 00:22:26,827
all: ♪ Yeah ♪
604
00:22:26,896 --> 00:22:29,793
♪ We've got news for you,
Dad ♪
605
00:22:29,862 --> 00:22:31,448
♪ You're not just great ♪
606
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:32,827
♪ You're rad! ♪
607
00:22:32,896 --> 00:22:35,103
all: Happy half birthday!
608
00:22:35,172 --> 00:22:36,379
Yeah!
609
00:22:36,448 --> 00:22:38,724
[laughter]
610
00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:43,324
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