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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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On the edge of outer space
4
00:02:22,101 --> 00:02:23,978
Space, space, space
5
00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:26,064
She's the one with a serious face
6
00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:28,191
Face, face, face, face, face
7
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:31,486
And I dropped in, checked it out
8
00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:33,655
Alien girls were all about
9
00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:35,615
Eons since I had a date
10
00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:39,035
Another light-year's too long to wait
11
00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:41,037
- Earth girls
- Are easy
12
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,373
- Earth girls
- So easy
13
00:02:43,456 --> 00:02:45,583
Earth girls
14
00:02:50,088 --> 00:02:52,131
Hey, those girls are loads of fun
15
00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:54,217
Fun, fun, fun, fun
16
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:56,344
Even hotter than the sun
17
00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:58,012
Sun, sun, sun
18
00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:01,849
You know that I've had lots of girls
19
00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:03,893
Most of them from other worlds
20
00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:06,020
While trippin' through the galaxy
21
00:03:06,104 --> 00:03:09,190
The Valley girls are the ones for me
22
00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:11,442
- Earth girls
- Are easy
23
00:03:11,526 --> 00:03:13,653
- Earth girls
- So easy
24
00:03:13,736 --> 00:03:15,988
Earth girls
25
00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:45,560
Earth girls
26
00:03:47,937 --> 00:03:49,272
Girls
27
00:03:50,648 --> 00:03:52,775
I've had lots of girls
28
00:03:52,859 --> 00:03:54,861
Most of them from other worlds
29
00:03:54,944 --> 00:03:57,071
Eons since I had a date
30
00:03:57,155 --> 00:03:59,991
Another light-year's too long to wait
31
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:02,285
- Earth girls
- Are easy
32
00:04:02,368 --> 00:04:04,662
- Earth girls
- So easy
33
00:04:04,746 --> 00:04:06,706
Earth girls
34
00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:11,085
- Earth girls
- Are easy
35
00:04:11,169 --> 00:04:13,212
- Earth girls
- So easy
36
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:15,047
Earth girls
37
00:04:15,131 --> 00:04:17,592
- Earth girls
- So easy
38
00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:19,594
So easy, so easy
39
00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:21,804
- So easy
- Earth girls
40
00:04:21,888 --> 00:04:23,848
Earth girls
41
00:04:55,254 --> 00:04:56,631
Valerie.
42
00:04:58,883 --> 00:05:01,010
- I'm home.
- Oh, no. Ted, wait.
43
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:05,640
You're not supposed to see me in this
before the wedding. It's bad luck.
44
00:05:05,723 --> 00:05:07,308
Don't worry about it.
45
00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:12,522
I mean, sweetheart, it's just some stupid
superstition anyway.
46
00:05:13,523 --> 00:05:17,652
Yeah, you're right. We met on Friday 13th
and look how happy we are.
47
00:05:19,111 --> 00:05:22,657
So, Ted, what happened?
You said 11:00.
48
00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:28,079
I'm sorry, Val. It was blood and guts
night at the old emergency room.
49
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,122
Again?
50
00:05:31,666 --> 00:05:33,292
Gee, I wish you'd called me.
51
00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:37,296
I would have, but, you know,
five minutes on the phone
52
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:40,049
and that could, uh, cost a life.
53
00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:41,259
You know that.
54
00:05:43,636 --> 00:05:45,221
I'm ready, Teddy.
55
00:05:47,557 --> 00:05:50,393
Oh, what a day.
56
00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:54,605
Boy.
57
00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:00,486
I was fluffing it for you.
58
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,584
Sweetheart,
could you get the light, please?
59
00:06:24,135 --> 00:06:25,970
Teddy...
60
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,889
look what I found.
61
00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:29,974
Sweetheart, I'm sorry,
62
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:33,352
but I have to take out a gallbladder
first thing in the morning.
63
00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:36,731
- Tomorrow night. I promise.
- No, I won't be here tomorrow night.
64
00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:39,275
- I'll be at the Nail Expo.
- What?
65
00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:42,862
The Cuticle Convention, remember?
I'll be gone till Monday.
66
00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:45,740
Oh, well, Monday, then. I promise.
67
00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:54,415
I was reading an ad for these pyramids
that you can get and put over the bed
68
00:06:54,498 --> 00:06:56,834
and they're supposed
to increase sexual energy.
69
00:06:56,918 --> 00:06:59,170
- I thought we could...
- Valerie, please.
70
00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:02,924
- Sorry.
- Good night, sweetheart.
71
00:07:03,007 --> 00:07:04,008
Night.
72
00:07:10,890 --> 00:07:14,310
K-Earth 101 southland weather...
another gorgeous day in L.A.
73
00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:18,856
Sunny and warm. 86 degrees in Malibu,
94 in the Valley, 88 in Hollywood.
74
00:07:18,940 --> 00:07:21,400
That's K-Earth 101 news.
I'm Claudia Marshall.
75
00:07:50,221 --> 00:07:53,224
Hi, Miss Lana.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
76
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:57,186
I missed our appointment.
You look so great.
77
00:07:57,269 --> 00:08:01,357
- That's a great outfit.
- Thanks, dear. That door's a real bitch.
78
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:05,152
- Hi, Val.
- Morning.
79
00:08:05,236 --> 00:08:07,238
It's a really good color for me.
80
00:08:08,823 --> 00:08:10,324
- Wow.
- Yeah.
81
00:08:10,408 --> 00:08:11,784
You need a fill.
82
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,830
- Morning, all.
- Good morning.
83
00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:19,166
You better have a note
from your mother, young lady.
84
00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:26,716
I don't know.
I'm just not that turned on by her lately.
85
00:08:26,799 --> 00:08:28,676
I hear oysters are good for potency.
86
00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:32,596
Yeah, I tried that once,
but they kept slipping off.
87
00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,559
If I was any more potent,
I'd kill somebody.
88
00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:38,102
- Whoa!
- Oh, right!
89
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,021
No, no, no.
90
00:08:40,104 --> 00:08:42,773
I gave this cute, little nurse
a ride home the other night, right?
91
00:08:42,857 --> 00:08:45,109
Yeah, and?
92
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,486
And nothing.
I'm getting married next month.
93
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:51,115
And why are you so tardy, young lady?
94
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,576
I was up real late last night with Ted.
95
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:56,203
Dr. Dolittle finally came through, huh?
96
00:08:56,287 --> 00:08:58,372
No. He was dead on arrival.
97
00:08:58,456 --> 00:09:02,084
- Again? Sanka?
- Sure.
98
00:09:02,168 --> 00:09:04,336
You know, at the rate
we've been having sex,
99
00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:06,464
we might as well be married already.
100
00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:08,758
What's it been, like, a week?
101
00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:09,884
Two weeks.
102
00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:16,390
Valerie, Ted is obviously a victim of PMS.
103
00:09:16,474 --> 00:09:18,642
- What?
- Premarital stress.
104
00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:21,854
What'll snap him out of it?
105
00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:25,024
- A new woman.
- Thanks.
106
00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:28,277
Wait. That's it!
We'll make you a new woman.
107
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,322
This is great.
This is totally fabulous. Watch this.
108
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:34,033
Okay, let's see how you look
on the makeover machine.
109
00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:35,201
Oh, housewife from hell.
110
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:40,790
Matron on drugs. Look at that.
111
00:09:40,873 --> 00:09:44,460
That's it. We'll make you
blonde with blue eyes.
112
00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:47,880
I don't know. Maybe
when I get back from the nail expo...
113
00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:51,050
No, skip the expo.
Stay home and ambush Ted.
114
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:53,385
What if he doesn't like it?
115
00:09:53,469 --> 00:09:56,430
At this point,
what have you got to lose?
116
00:09:56,514 --> 00:09:58,099
I don't know.
117
00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:00,643
Hey, come on, everybody.
We're doing a makeover.
118
00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,400
- A perm.
- A perm.
119
00:10:08,484 --> 00:10:10,653
- A butch.
- A butch.
120
00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:12,446
- A facial.
- A facial.
121
00:10:12,530 --> 00:10:14,573
- A body wrap.
- A body wrap.
122
00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:17,034
- Gravel scrub.
- A gravel scrub.
123
00:10:17,118 --> 00:10:18,786
- Bikini wax.
- Bikini wax.
124
00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:19,870
A fall.
125
00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:23,332
- We'll do it all.
- All right!
126
00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:37,471
It's time to face the music,
It's time to make you see
127
00:10:37,555 --> 00:10:41,392
The root of all your problems
is that you don't look like me
128
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:45,563
Now this is gonna hurt you,
but I just got to say
129
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:49,608
Your love life's going nowhere
'cause you look like Doris Day
130
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:51,652
Who's the one they can't resist?
131
00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:53,779
The brand new girl
132
00:10:53,863 --> 00:10:55,739
Who's on the most wanted list?
133
00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:58,117
The brand new girl
134
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,829
Honey, if you vixenize,
guaranteed he'll get a rise
135
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:05,666
- Believe that you can be a brand new
- Brand new
136
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,626
- Brand new
- Brand new
137
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,670
- Brand new
- Brand new
138
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:11,172
Brand new girl
139
00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:23,851
You're cute and fresh and wholesome
140
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:25,769
But science has a cure
141
00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:27,855
The natural look is nowhere
142
00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,398
Your hairdresser knows for sure
143
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:33,319
You gotta learn the art of teasing,
change your repertoire
144
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:35,863
All you need's a little faith
145
00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:38,657
And a see-through pushup bra
146
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,413
If you wanna be a femme fatale
147
00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:46,457
You can't rest on your L'Oreals
148
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,542
You know, I think she might be right
149
00:11:48,626 --> 00:11:50,336
Grab the bleach, she's seen the light
150
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:53,547
Maybelline
151
00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:55,633
Revlon
152
00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:57,509
Rubbermaid
153
00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,512
Talk to me, Max Factor
154
00:12:00,596 --> 00:12:02,765
Who's the one they can't resist?
155
00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:04,934
- The brand new girl
- Brand new
156
00:12:05,017 --> 00:12:06,727
Who's on the most wanted list?
157
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,938
The brand new girl
158
00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:11,190
Honey, if you vixenize
159
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:13,234
Guaranteed he'll get a rise
160
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:15,611
Believe that can be a brand new
161
00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:17,863
- Brand new
- Brand new
162
00:12:17,947 --> 00:12:19,698
- Brand new
- Brand new
163
00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:22,785
- Brand new
- Brand
164
00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:24,745
New
165
00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:28,624
Girl
166
00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:30,751
Girl.
167
00:12:36,966 --> 00:12:38,384
Hello, Dr. Gallagher.
168
00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:41,637
Surprised?
169
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:45,015
Yes, it's me.
170
00:12:47,268 --> 00:12:51,188
Dr. Gallagher.
Why are you looking at me like that?
171
00:12:53,983 --> 00:12:55,317
You want to do what?
172
00:12:56,402 --> 00:12:58,779
Oh, no, no. I couldn't.
173
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:02,908
No, no, please. Stop.
174
00:13:02,992 --> 00:13:04,827
No, no.
175
00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:05,911
Well...
176
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:07,955
all right.
177
00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:13,168
Okay. Let's see.
178
00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:18,048
Now, champagne, flowers,
179
00:13:18,132 --> 00:13:20,134
sushi, feathers...
180
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,887
sensual oil...
181
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:25,556
right,
182
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:28,892
and incense or, let's see...
183
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:31,478
"Sprinkle a light bulb
with your favorite perfume
184
00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:34,565
to sensualize the atmosphere
of your love trap."
185
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:50,873
Oh, no!
186
00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:55,753
Oh, God. He's here.
187
00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:14,271
Well, this is where we live.
188
00:14:15,606 --> 00:14:18,067
- We?
- Yeah. You know,
189
00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:21,862
me and... the cat, Bambi.
190
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,869
Just make yourself at home, all right?
191
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,245
Okay.
192
00:14:50,808 --> 00:14:53,060
" How to Drive a Man Crazy."
193
00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:05,531
Eat me, I'm a cookie!
194
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:10,494
I'm sorry. I'm so embarrassed.
195
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,414
I didn't know Ted had company.
I'm Valerie.
196
00:15:13,497 --> 00:15:15,874
I don't usually dress like this.
197
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:18,460
Here comes Dr. Love.
198
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:24,299
All right, Robin, a pileup.
199
00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:25,509
Who's your friend?
200
00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:30,806
- Shit! Val.
- Ted, what are you doing?
201
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:34,560
- Gee, nothing.
- What... what is going on here?
202
00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:36,562
You brought a girl home to have sex?
203
00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:38,564
Well, you weren't
supposed to be here, Val.
204
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:42,192
- You were going to have sex without me?
- Well, no. Of course not.
205
00:15:42,276 --> 00:15:45,070
Look, I don't know
what you two had in mind,
206
00:15:45,154 --> 00:15:48,949
but I'm really not into kinky scenes. Bye.
207
00:15:50,409 --> 00:15:52,536
Gee, Val, you look incredible.
208
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:55,414
You know, honey,
she doesn't mean a thing to me, really.
209
00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:56,999
If meaningless sex is what you want,
210
00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:59,001
why can't you have it with me?!
211
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:01,170
I'm sorry. I made a stupid mistake.
212
00:16:01,253 --> 00:16:05,215
Hey, you know, I thought
I wanted a last fling, that's all.
213
00:16:05,299 --> 00:16:08,010
You can't expect me to be
more evolved than I really am.
214
00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:10,762
Evolved? I'll show you evolved.
215
00:16:10,846 --> 00:16:13,182
Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Val.
216
00:16:13,265 --> 00:16:15,726
No, no. No, don't do that.
That's very dangerous.
217
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:17,478
Cut it... Val, stop it!
218
00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:18,562
Cut it out!
219
00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:23,233
Val, come on!
220
00:16:23,317 --> 00:16:24,693
Neighbors are watching!
221
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:30,282
Val, open up.
Sweetheart, open the door!
222
00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:32,618
You're wanted in emergency, Dr. Love.
223
00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:36,163
Val, you can't do this to me!
I'm a doctor!
224
00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:39,875
Here!
225
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:41,835
Take these with you, Dr. Love.
226
00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:45,589
And don't come back!
227
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:54,973
Ted!
228
00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,061
Ted!
229
00:17:00,646 --> 00:17:02,397
Ted, where are you going?
230
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:12,741
Go to bed, Mrs. Merkin!
231
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:21,750
You're a liar, and it took me forever
232
00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:24,836
To figure that out
233
00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:30,008
You could switch on a smile
234
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:32,427
Pretend to be tender
235
00:17:32,511 --> 00:17:36,974
But I know now what you're all about
236
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,434
What a nightmare
237
00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:43,230
My friends thought you were a dream
238
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:48,860
You could switch on a smile
239
00:17:48,944 --> 00:17:51,446
And seem so sincere
240
00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:55,033
But you don't even know
what that means
241
00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:59,788
I don't think you'll ever understand
242
00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:04,418
Ooh, did cheating on me
make you feel like a man?
243
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:09,214
I used to worship the ground you walk on
244
00:18:09,298 --> 00:18:13,635
I did anything you wanted me to
245
00:18:13,719 --> 00:18:18,724
I used to worship the ground you walk on
246
00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:22,811
Now I've lost my faith in you
247
00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,364
Sunday mornings I'd wake up
248
00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:38,577
Lie in bed watching you sleep
249
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,499
It was almost religious
250
00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:47,336
How I believed in you
251
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:50,631
It hurt when you destroyed my belief
252
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:55,218
I don't think you'll ever understand
253
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:59,848
Ooh, did cheatin' on me
make you feel like a man?
254
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:04,519
I used to worship the ground you walk on
255
00:19:04,603 --> 00:19:08,607
I did anything you wanted me to
256
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:13,695
I used to worship
the ground you walk on
257
00:19:13,779 --> 00:19:17,449
Now I've lost my faith in you
258
00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:22,579
Oh, I've lost my faith in you
259
00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:38,804
I used to worship the ground you walk on
260
00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:42,015
Didn't think I'd get by without you
261
00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:46,937
Now I don't worship the ground you walk on
262
00:19:48,522 --> 00:19:51,650
And I'm stronger than I knew
263
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:56,446
I'm stronger than you knew
264
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:08,166
- Come here, you.
- No, Doctor. What about your wife?
265
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:10,961
She's in a coma. You're not.
266
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:13,004
No.
267
00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:18,760
John? John?
268
00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:24,766
You weasel dick!
269
00:20:29,563 --> 00:20:32,232
Hello. Oh, Candy.
270
00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:35,026
The worst thing in the world happened.
271
00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:38,780
No, Bambi's fine. It's Ted.
272
00:20:38,864 --> 00:20:41,867
Yeah. The blonde thing did not work.
273
00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:46,955
It's the show that shows the ins and outs
of the southern California fitness craze.
274
00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:50,083
Let's face it.
Inner beauty is for losers...
275
00:22:45,907 --> 00:22:46,908
Mac!
276
00:23:50,847 --> 00:23:52,223
Oh, great.
277
00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:57,604
Oh, this is too good.
278
00:23:57,687 --> 00:24:00,398
There's a giant blow dryer in my pool.
279
00:24:09,908 --> 00:24:11,159
Oh, shit!
280
00:24:11,242 --> 00:24:14,788
Goddamn it, Ted, you're not gonna
control my mind when you're not here.
281
00:24:14,871 --> 00:24:16,831
Okay, Val.
282
00:24:17,999 --> 00:24:21,586
Just release all this negative energy
out into the universe.
283
00:24:23,004 --> 00:24:24,965
You're just gonna swim right through it.
284
00:25:28,903 --> 00:25:32,657
Oh, Teddy bear. You're back.
285
00:25:45,003 --> 00:25:48,089
What is this? What's going on here?
286
00:25:49,466 --> 00:25:51,634
This isn't what it looks like, is it?
287
00:25:51,718 --> 00:25:53,803
- Is it?
- Is it?
288
00:25:53,887 --> 00:25:57,640
Oh, my God, it is.
It's a spaceship.
289
00:25:57,724 --> 00:25:59,768
Oh, like things weren't bad enough.
290
00:25:59,851 --> 00:26:01,394
Now I've been abducted by a UFO.
291
00:26:02,395 --> 00:26:06,357
Now, you guys... you're just gonna do
some little experiments on me
292
00:26:06,441 --> 00:26:10,236
and then, um, let me go like
in the National Enquirer, right?
293
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:11,571
- Right?
- Right?
294
00:26:11,654 --> 00:26:12,655
Right?
295
00:26:15,950 --> 00:26:20,413
Okay, okay. Just don't take out
anything I'm gonna need later.
296
00:26:26,211 --> 00:26:28,671
Come on, come on. Get it over with
and then let me go, okay?
297
00:26:32,675 --> 00:26:34,677
I don't know why you abducted me anyway.
298
00:26:34,761 --> 00:26:37,347
I'm sure you're looking
for somebody more important,
299
00:26:37,430 --> 00:26:39,182
- like Nancy Reagan.
- Nancy Reagan.
300
00:26:39,265 --> 00:26:41,351
- Nancy Reagan.
- Really, if you let me go,
301
00:26:41,434 --> 00:26:44,813
I'll tell you where to find her
because, see, I'm just a manicurist.
302
00:26:44,896 --> 00:26:47,816
I don't know anything
about anything except nails.
303
00:26:47,899 --> 00:26:49,442
- You know, nails.
- Nails.
304
00:26:49,526 --> 00:26:50,527
- Nails.
- Nails.
305
00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:51,611
Nibs.
306
00:26:56,199 --> 00:26:57,867
Really, I can keep my mouth shut.
307
00:26:57,951 --> 00:27:00,954
I'm the kind of person that you can tell
anything to and I would never tell.
308
00:27:01,037 --> 00:27:05,375
Ask my cousin Debbie. You know, she got
her boobs done, and I never told anyone.
309
00:27:07,168 --> 00:27:08,837
Oh, except I just told you.
310
00:27:13,174 --> 00:27:15,677
Oh, my God. You're aliens.
311
00:27:22,350 --> 00:27:23,434
Zeebo.
312
00:27:24,602 --> 00:27:26,729
Is that your name? Zeebo?
313
00:27:28,648 --> 00:27:29,649
Wiploc.
314
00:27:31,776 --> 00:27:33,945
Wiploc. Hi.
315
00:27:34,028 --> 00:27:36,114
Makelsolakveder.
316
00:27:36,197 --> 00:27:38,992
Maybe I'll just call you Mac. How's that?
317
00:27:39,075 --> 00:27:41,953
- Oh, and I'm Valerie.
- Valerie.
318
00:27:42,036 --> 00:27:43,705
- "Walerie."
- Volare.
319
00:27:44,914 --> 00:27:47,125
You guys aren't gonna to hurt me, are you?
320
00:27:50,461 --> 00:27:52,338
Your planet is weird.
321
00:27:52,422 --> 00:27:54,549
We're still in my pool.
322
00:27:58,386 --> 00:28:03,391
Well, listen. It was really nice
meeting you, fellas, but I have to go.
323
00:28:03,474 --> 00:28:07,645
Feel free to use the pool, really, but
you've caught me at sort of a bad time.
324
00:28:24,871 --> 00:28:27,582
Did I do that? I flooded the ship.
325
00:28:27,665 --> 00:28:30,251
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so embarrassed.
326
00:28:30,335 --> 00:28:33,796
I'm really, really sorry, you guys,
but I'm sure you can fix it, right?
327
00:28:37,008 --> 00:28:39,427
Don't freak out, really.
This is just like the time
328
00:28:39,510 --> 00:28:42,347
that I dropped my lady Schick
in the toilet.
329
00:28:42,430 --> 00:28:46,684
It's really... as soon as it dried out,
it worked fine. Really.
330
00:28:52,607 --> 00:28:58,238
Let's go in my house and I'll make some
lunch and I'll get the pool drained,
331
00:28:58,321 --> 00:29:02,784
and then you guys can take off,
you know, back to your planet.
332
00:29:02,867 --> 00:29:04,702
Blast off.
333
00:29:04,786 --> 00:29:07,956
Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Comprende?
334
00:29:08,039 --> 00:29:10,291
- Comprende?
- Comprende?
335
00:29:11,334 --> 00:29:12,335
Comprende.
336
00:29:26,307 --> 00:29:28,685
Be careful. This ladder's a little loose.
337
00:29:29,686 --> 00:29:31,980
Oh, I'm glad you can breathe okay.
338
00:29:32,063 --> 00:29:33,856
The air quality
is actually very good today.
339
00:29:37,902 --> 00:29:39,821
Careful. It's kind of wet.
340
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:50,248
Okay? Well, come on.
Let's go in the house.
341
00:29:52,166 --> 00:29:53,167
This way.
342
00:29:56,796 --> 00:29:59,757
Those are lemons.
You know, lemonade, lemon Pledge.
343
00:30:00,925 --> 00:30:03,428
It's okay. It's a sprinkler.
344
00:30:03,511 --> 00:30:07,015
Listen, Earth people
are gonna freak out if they see you.
345
00:30:07,098 --> 00:30:09,142
No offense, but you do look kinda
like wookies,
346
00:30:09,225 --> 00:30:11,894
or werewolves or something,
and people hate that.
347
00:30:11,978 --> 00:30:16,149
I mean, they're gonna wanna shoot you
or something, so just be cool, okay?
348
00:30:20,028 --> 00:30:21,779
Let's go inside. Come on, come on.
349
00:30:23,531 --> 00:30:25,533
What's going on in my horoscope today?
350
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:32,373
Well, this is my house.
351
00:30:33,750 --> 00:30:35,209
Sorry about the mess.
352
00:30:35,293 --> 00:30:37,337
Make yourselves at home.
353
00:30:48,473 --> 00:30:50,224
Hi. This is Valerie Gale.
354
00:30:50,308 --> 00:30:52,810
Could you send Woody over
to drain my pool?
355
00:30:52,894 --> 00:30:54,937
Yeah. Right away. It's an emergency. I...
356
00:31:10,912 --> 00:31:13,206
I've never seen her do that before!
357
00:31:13,289 --> 00:31:15,917
What is that, some kind of love touch?
358
00:31:21,297 --> 00:31:24,425
Hi. Yeah. Listen.
This is a matter of life and death.
359
00:31:24,509 --> 00:31:26,636
See, I lost my contact lens in the pool...
360
00:31:26,719 --> 00:31:29,639
No, no. It's gotta be Woody.
He found it the last time.
361
00:31:31,099 --> 00:31:33,643
Hey! Those are Ted's fish!
362
00:31:33,726 --> 00:31:34,852
Thanks.
363
00:31:34,936 --> 00:31:36,604
No. No. No. No.
364
00:31:36,687 --> 00:31:40,566
Not food! Not food!
365
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:44,904
Let's see. Not much here,
366
00:31:44,987 --> 00:31:48,032
but then, I didn't expect
I'd be having aliens for lunch.
367
00:31:48,116 --> 00:31:52,245
Look. Low-cal Pop Tarts.
These are natural.
368
00:31:54,205 --> 00:31:55,331
Great.
369
00:32:00,294 --> 00:32:03,631
Okay. We have an entree. What else?
370
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:08,845
Instant pudding!
371
00:32:08,928 --> 00:32:12,140
Add water? Too much work.
372
00:32:12,223 --> 00:32:14,308
Spray-on cheese! This is great.
373
00:32:16,269 --> 00:32:17,854
You have eggs on your planet?
374
00:32:20,064 --> 00:32:21,858
I could cook those for you.
375
00:32:32,743 --> 00:32:34,579
This is wonderful.
376
00:32:59,020 --> 00:33:01,022
Wiploc! No! No! Not there!
377
00:33:01,105 --> 00:33:02,899
No. Come with me.
378
00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:15,328
Okay. So you go in there.
379
00:33:17,455 --> 00:33:19,499
No! No! Come here. No.
380
00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:22,919
You go in there.
381
00:33:23,002 --> 00:33:24,670
Go in there...
382
00:33:24,754 --> 00:33:27,173
Yeah. And then you flush.
383
00:33:59,288 --> 00:34:02,625
Oh, my God! Woody's here!
Whatever you do, just stay inside.
384
00:35:02,643 --> 00:35:04,687
You are Americans.
385
00:35:04,770 --> 00:35:07,064
You're the product
of the freest society...
386
00:35:10,151 --> 00:35:12,820
You're tearing me apart!
387
00:35:12,903 --> 00:35:16,324
You say one thing, he says another,
and everybody changes back...
388
00:35:16,407 --> 00:35:19,076
- A new car!
- A new car!
389
00:35:24,790 --> 00:35:26,500
Hey! How's it going?
390
00:35:27,710 --> 00:35:30,296
- Hey, Woody.
- What's that you're sitting on?
391
00:35:30,379 --> 00:35:34,550
- Some kind of giant boogie board?
- No, it's my new pool patio.
392
00:35:34,634 --> 00:35:36,927
- Bitchin', huh?
- It's pretty rad.
393
00:35:38,638 --> 00:35:41,307
Whoa! Shoot the curl, kitty!
394
00:35:41,390 --> 00:35:43,643
Those little guys
love the water, don't they?
395
00:35:46,354 --> 00:35:49,106
Listen, Valerie. How come
you want your pool drained?
396
00:35:49,190 --> 00:35:51,734
How come? I don't know.
397
00:35:51,817 --> 00:35:55,363
You know, the water just seems
really stale or something.
398
00:35:55,446 --> 00:35:57,531
We've seen a lot of that.
399
00:35:57,615 --> 00:35:59,241
So, how long is this gonna take?
400
00:36:00,576 --> 00:36:01,952
About a day.
401
00:36:04,497 --> 00:36:07,249
Whoa, check out the sets, man.
402
00:36:07,333 --> 00:36:10,586
If I was six inches tall,
I'd be out there now.
403
00:36:10,670 --> 00:36:13,005
They were pumping
like that this morning...
404
00:36:13,089 --> 00:36:15,383
- I don't believe this.
- No, for real.
405
00:36:15,466 --> 00:36:18,886
And I was getting barreled
in this totally cool tube.
406
00:36:18,969 --> 00:36:22,556
I had just Sex Waxed my board,
really prem'.
407
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:25,726
Some hotdog shoots his board,
hits me in the head.
408
00:36:25,810 --> 00:36:28,562
- Look at that.
- This is the worst.
409
00:36:28,646 --> 00:36:31,148
Yeah, it would've been
the ride of the decade, too.
410
00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:34,610
Well, what am I supposed to do
until tomorrow?
411
00:36:34,694 --> 00:36:37,488
Waste your brain. Wax your board.
412
00:36:37,571 --> 00:36:39,156
Pray for waves.
413
00:36:50,084 --> 00:36:52,128
Try this. What'll it be?
414
00:36:53,129 --> 00:36:55,881
What'll it be?
415
00:36:55,965 --> 00:36:59,135
Nice. Make me an Alaskan
polar bear heater on the double.
416
00:36:59,218 --> 00:37:00,219
Come on, come on.
417
00:37:00,302 --> 00:37:03,764
We'll make our own music, gorgeous.
You and you stay.
418
00:37:03,848 --> 00:37:06,851
Tubby, you go rest
your thumbs. I'll drive.
419
00:37:06,934 --> 00:37:09,562
Now watch, baby.
Every move a picture.
420
00:37:18,446 --> 00:37:21,741
Is there a doctor in the house?
Not right now.
421
00:37:21,824 --> 00:37:24,702
Leave a message when you hear the beep.
422
00:37:24,785 --> 00:37:27,580
Valerie? Are you there?
423
00:37:27,663 --> 00:37:30,708
Please pick up. I need to talk to you.
424
00:37:30,791 --> 00:37:32,418
I'm sorry I was such an asshole.
425
00:37:33,627 --> 00:37:38,883
Val, you've got to believe this. I've
never ever been unfaithful to you. Ever.
426
00:37:38,966 --> 00:37:42,553
I'm only guilty of a little kissy-face
with one nurse. I swear.
427
00:37:42,636 --> 00:37:46,849
Sweetheart, tou stopped me from making
the biggest mistake of my life last night.
428
00:37:46,932 --> 00:37:50,770
Val, I'm so sorry.
Please forgive me.
429
00:37:50,853 --> 00:37:52,563
I'll see you when I get home. Bye.
430
00:37:58,110 --> 00:37:59,820
Come back to Finland.
431
00:37:59,904 --> 00:38:03,491
Come back to winter all year round.
432
00:38:03,574 --> 00:38:07,119
Come back to parkas and goat cheese.
433
00:38:07,203 --> 00:38:09,747
Finland knows what you want-
434
00:38:24,678 --> 00:38:26,263
Okay. Well, we're all set.
435
00:38:27,598 --> 00:38:29,934
- Finland is here?
- Finland?
436
00:38:30,017 --> 00:38:31,685
No, this is the Valley.
437
00:38:31,769 --> 00:38:35,064
Finland is the capital of Norway.
God, you guys sure learn fast.
438
00:38:35,147 --> 00:38:36,857
I'm sorry I was such an asshole.
439
00:38:38,192 --> 00:38:40,194
See you found a cable station.
440
00:38:40,277 --> 00:38:43,781
Valerie, are you there? Please pick up.
441
00:38:43,864 --> 00:38:45,699
Did Ted call?
442
00:38:45,783 --> 00:38:49,328
I'll be over right after work tonight.
Okay, honey? Bye.
443
00:38:49,411 --> 00:38:51,455
Oh, my God! What am I gonna do?
444
00:38:51,539 --> 00:38:53,749
Ted is, like, a trained doctor.
445
00:38:53,833 --> 00:38:56,710
One look at you guys
and he's gonna know you're not local.
446
00:38:59,505 --> 00:39:01,966
If I only had about zillion
gallons of Nair.
447
00:39:02,049 --> 00:39:02,967
- Nair.
- Nair.
448
00:39:03,050 --> 00:39:03,884
Nair.
449
00:39:06,595 --> 00:39:09,056
I'm a sex pixie
450
00:39:09,139 --> 00:39:10,891
Is that okay?
451
00:39:26,323 --> 00:39:28,367
Candy, whatever you do, don't freak out.
452
00:39:28,450 --> 00:39:29,994
- Valerie!
- I mean it, don't freak out.
453
00:39:30,077 --> 00:39:32,872
- Promise me you won't freak out.
- You are freaking me out!
454
00:39:32,955 --> 00:39:34,790
Okay, okay. Oh, my God.
455
00:39:34,874 --> 00:39:39,753
A UFO landed in my pool
and they captured me, but we made friends,
456
00:39:39,837 --> 00:39:42,715
and I fed them Pop Tarts
and they're here now,
457
00:39:42,798 --> 00:39:44,592
but Ted's coming home tonight,
so you've got to cut their hair.
458
00:39:44,675 --> 00:39:48,554
- What did you say?
- Nothing. I'm on drugs.
459
00:39:48,637 --> 00:39:50,264
Candy, you gotta help them.
460
00:39:50,347 --> 00:39:52,224
Would you listen to yourself?
461
00:39:52,308 --> 00:39:57,271
Valerie, no man is worth
getting yourself in this state over.
462
00:39:57,354 --> 00:39:59,982
Mel Gibson, maybe, but not Ted!
463
00:40:00,065 --> 00:40:04,028
Valerie, come here. Just sit down, honey.
464
00:40:04,111 --> 00:40:06,614
Relax. Have a mental margarita.
465
00:40:06,697 --> 00:40:08,574
Candy, now I'm gonna show you something
466
00:40:08,657 --> 00:40:11,952
that's gonna totally change your life
completely, forever, okay?
467
00:40:12,036 --> 00:40:14,663
Well, in that case,
let me get a cigarette.
468
00:40:20,044 --> 00:40:22,796
You got little alien house guests...
let's see 'em.
469
00:40:27,217 --> 00:40:28,510
Shit, Valerie!
470
00:40:28,594 --> 00:40:31,639
- Those are aliens!
- I told you.
471
00:40:31,722 --> 00:40:33,974
Oh, God! Oh, shit!
472
00:40:34,058 --> 00:40:38,562
Valerie! Valerie! Those are...
those are big aliens!
473
00:40:38,646 --> 00:40:42,524
What do they want from us?
What do you want from us?
474
00:40:43,734 --> 00:40:46,320
Did they take control of your brain?
475
00:40:46,403 --> 00:40:47,655
I don't think so.
476
00:40:47,738 --> 00:40:49,573
Can they talk?
477
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:52,618
I ate all the Frusen Gladje.
478
00:40:52,701 --> 00:40:54,662
My panty shields make me
feel fresh all day.
479
00:40:55,996 --> 00:40:57,498
Are they straight?
480
00:40:57,581 --> 00:40:59,291
I don't know. They're aliens.
481
00:40:59,375 --> 00:41:01,251
This is Mac,
482
00:41:01,335 --> 00:41:04,213
and this is Zeebo, and this is Wiploc.
483
00:41:06,507 --> 00:41:09,802
Well, they're just darling.
Get 'em out of here.
484
00:41:09,885 --> 00:41:12,680
They can't leave until the pool is drained
and you know Ted.
485
00:41:12,763 --> 00:41:15,724
I mean, if he finds out they're aliens,
he'll wanna call Washington
486
00:41:15,808 --> 00:41:17,810
or dissect them or something.
487
00:41:17,893 --> 00:41:20,813
I mean, I think we could make them
look more sort of human.
488
00:41:20,896 --> 00:41:23,357
Yeah, I thought you never
wanted to see Ted again.
489
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:26,068
I don't. I just want to talk to him.
490
00:41:26,151 --> 00:41:27,778
Valerie, this is insane.
491
00:41:28,904 --> 00:41:31,281
Oh, God. They're, like,
throwing up on my stuff!
492
00:41:31,365 --> 00:41:32,616
Come on, Candy.
493
00:41:36,620 --> 00:41:38,580
Well, I see split ends are universal.
494
00:41:42,376 --> 00:41:44,545
Lost in space with no conditioner, huh?
495
00:41:44,628 --> 00:41:46,797
I think they've been up there a long time.
496
00:41:49,717 --> 00:41:51,802
Well, it's all dead.
It's got to come off.
497
00:41:51,885 --> 00:41:54,888
- Can you do it?
- Does Tina Turner wear a wig?
498
00:41:54,972 --> 00:41:56,974
- That's a wig?
- That's a wig.
499
00:41:57,057 --> 00:41:59,727
- Great!
- No, thanks. It's got spit on it.
500
00:41:59,810 --> 00:42:03,313
- I'll get clothes!
- But if I find one flea, the deal's off!
501
00:42:05,899 --> 00:42:09,278
Okay, Val, are you ready?
I think they're almost done.
502
00:42:09,361 --> 00:42:12,114
Okay, with the big red one
I went for the blond-surfer look.
503
00:42:17,453 --> 00:42:19,580
Which one is that?
504
00:42:19,663 --> 00:42:22,541
Wiploc. We are human now!
505
00:42:23,542 --> 00:42:25,586
I don't believe it! He's even cute!
506
00:42:25,669 --> 00:42:27,421
I know! Bitchin', huh?
507
00:42:29,131 --> 00:42:32,926
Val, you won't believe this. Okay...
508
00:42:34,470 --> 00:42:35,929
Surprise!
509
00:42:40,017 --> 00:42:41,060
Is that Zeebo?
510
00:42:42,061 --> 00:42:44,021
Oh, my God! You're, like, totally black!
511
00:42:47,649 --> 00:42:49,860
Okay... and...
512
00:42:49,943 --> 00:42:52,154
behind door number three...
513
00:42:52,237 --> 00:42:54,364
this is the ultimate!
514
00:43:07,336 --> 00:43:08,754
You're incredible.
515
00:43:13,008 --> 00:43:16,136
Well, it was easy.
You know, I started on poodles.
516
00:43:17,346 --> 00:43:20,265
- Good?
- Real good.
517
00:43:24,061 --> 00:43:26,688
Okay, okay. Group picture. Come on.
518
00:43:26,772 --> 00:43:28,607
Come on. Get down there.
519
00:43:31,735 --> 00:43:33,153
All right...
520
00:43:33,237 --> 00:43:35,948
now say, Velveeta Slices.
521
00:43:41,036 --> 00:43:43,205
Okay, you guys,
what's the plan for tonight?
522
00:43:43,288 --> 00:43:45,249
Whoa! Candy, reality check.
523
00:43:45,332 --> 00:43:47,668
We can't go out with these guys.
They're aliens.
524
00:43:47,751 --> 00:43:50,838
So? They can still be dates!
525
00:43:50,921 --> 00:43:53,340
Do you guys have Margaritas
on your planet?
526
00:43:53,423 --> 00:43:56,260
Candy, it's just not safe.
I'll give you a lift home and that's it.
527
00:43:56,343 --> 00:43:58,011
Don't get your panties in a bunch.
528
00:43:58,095 --> 00:44:02,641
We're with three major cute guys
and it's Saturday night! Come on!
529
00:44:10,149 --> 00:44:12,901
You guys are so lucky
you crashed in the Valley.
530
00:44:12,985 --> 00:44:15,112
I mean, it's the baddest place on earth.
531
00:44:23,954 --> 00:44:25,497
Candy, sit down!
532
00:44:27,374 --> 00:44:28,584
Hi, sweets.
533
00:44:29,585 --> 00:44:32,713
I think we'd like to keep
a low profile, Candy.
534
00:44:32,796 --> 00:44:35,174
Guys, whatcha doing later?
535
00:44:39,052 --> 00:44:41,847
You know, I never would have
believed that this could happen.
536
00:44:41,930 --> 00:44:44,600
What, that you'd be cruising
the boulevard with shaved Martians?
537
00:44:44,683 --> 00:44:47,895
No. That Ted would do this to me.
538
00:44:47,978 --> 00:44:51,106
Men, boy. Give 'em enough rope
and they'll dig their own grave.
539
00:44:51,190 --> 00:44:55,110
- So true.
- He said he wanted one last fling.
540
00:44:55,194 --> 00:44:57,779
Maybe that's normal, I don't know.
541
00:44:57,863 --> 00:44:59,990
I'm sure we'll be happy
once we're married,
542
00:45:00,073 --> 00:45:03,160
but I just can't pretend like
this didn't happen, you know?
543
00:45:03,243 --> 00:45:06,371
Valerie, you work so hard
to make Ted happy.
544
00:45:06,455 --> 00:45:08,081
Who is making you happy?
545
00:45:17,382 --> 00:45:19,009
Finland babes!
546
00:45:22,262 --> 00:45:24,431
Hey, didn't you go to Van Nuys High?
547
00:45:25,432 --> 00:45:26,808
Van Nuys High?
548
00:45:26,892 --> 00:45:30,312
- Aren't you Terry Harper's brother?
- Terry Harper's brother?
549
00:45:31,772 --> 00:45:33,815
Someone oughta hose those girls down.
550
00:45:33,899 --> 00:45:36,735
- Wanna party?
- Wanna party?
551
00:45:36,818 --> 00:45:38,195
Yeah, come on!
552
00:45:40,113 --> 00:45:41,281
Wiploc!
553
00:45:44,618 --> 00:45:45,953
Wiploc!
554
00:45:49,623 --> 00:45:51,166
Look! There they are!
555
00:45:55,337 --> 00:45:57,297
Okay, don't worry.
I'll go get him.
556
00:45:57,381 --> 00:45:59,091
- Me, too.
- Me, too, too.
557
00:45:59,174 --> 00:46:01,051
Wait, I don't think we all should go.
558
00:46:01,134 --> 00:46:02,844
It's only gonna take a minute.
559
00:46:08,225 --> 00:46:10,143
Come on, you guys, what are you doing?
560
00:46:32,291 --> 00:46:33,875
Where did you buy those?
561
00:46:33,959 --> 00:46:37,546
- They're my dad's.
- Those are fabulous.
562
00:46:37,629 --> 00:46:38,630
I know.
563
00:47:11,246 --> 00:47:13,707
Valerie! Hi! Over here!
564
00:47:13,790 --> 00:47:15,584
- Candy!
- Hi!
565
00:47:15,667 --> 00:47:17,753
Are you nuts? What are you doing?
566
00:47:17,836 --> 00:47:19,796
Having cocktails.
567
00:47:21,381 --> 00:47:23,550
Alaskan polar bear heater.
568
00:47:23,633 --> 00:47:24,676
Candy, give me a break.
569
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:29,181
Ted is coming home tonight
and there's a UFO in my pool. A UFO!
570
00:47:29,264 --> 00:47:32,642
B.F.D. Ted's not gonna be there
for a few hours.
571
00:47:32,726 --> 00:47:35,854
- Just chill out, Val.
- We have to get these guys out of here
572
00:47:35,937 --> 00:47:38,357
before anyone figures out they're aliens.
573
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:41,443
No one's going to know
they're aliens, okay?
574
00:47:41,526 --> 00:47:42,527
Tonya!
575
00:47:43,987 --> 00:47:45,822
Hi. You know Val.
576
00:47:45,906 --> 00:47:48,617
- And this is Mac, Wiploc, and Zeebo.
- Hi.
577
00:47:48,700 --> 00:47:50,660
They're from Mars or something!
Could you die?
578
00:47:51,745 --> 00:47:53,622
Hey, Zeebo, wanna dance?
579
00:47:55,290 --> 00:47:57,667
- Wanna dance?
- Great idea.
580
00:48:00,587 --> 00:48:01,797
Wiploc.
581
00:48:03,465 --> 00:48:06,510
- Should I dance?
- Sure.
582
00:48:06,593 --> 00:48:09,096
Fine. Hey, party down.
583
00:48:09,179 --> 00:48:12,307
When you're ready for your chauffeur,
I'll be out on the patio.
584
00:48:14,768 --> 00:48:16,395
What's her problem?
585
00:48:19,189 --> 00:48:20,607
Two weeks?
586
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:33,829
Come on. Let's dance.
587
00:48:41,169 --> 00:48:42,170
He left?
588
00:49:04,067 --> 00:49:06,570
You, go rest your thumbs. I'll drive.
589
00:49:37,809 --> 00:49:39,853
You can actually play that?
590
00:49:39,936 --> 00:49:42,981
Valerie, are we limp and hard to manage?
591
00:49:43,982 --> 00:49:46,902
Oh, no, no. You're fine.
592
00:49:46,985 --> 00:49:50,697
I'm sorry. I just don't feel
like talking much.
593
00:49:51,907 --> 00:49:54,784
I guess I figured that everything
would just fall into place
594
00:49:54,868 --> 00:49:58,038
- if I found Mr. Right.
- Mr. Right?
595
00:49:59,039 --> 00:50:00,415
Yeah.
596
00:50:00,499 --> 00:50:03,376
Mr. Right is like the guy
you dream of meeting
597
00:50:03,460 --> 00:50:04,753
ever since you're a little girl.
598
00:50:05,754 --> 00:50:09,508
And you'd go anyplace
or do anything to be together.
599
00:50:09,591 --> 00:50:13,345
And he feels the same way about you
because you're right for each other.
600
00:50:15,180 --> 00:50:18,266
I don't know. Maybe I'm kidding myself.
601
00:50:18,350 --> 00:50:19,935
Maybe there's no such thing.
602
00:50:41,998 --> 00:50:44,042
- Hey, baby.
- Hi.
603
00:50:44,125 --> 00:50:46,711
Why be with a zero
when you can dance with a hero?
604
00:51:29,629 --> 00:51:33,049
Yo, baby. Why be with a hero
when you can dance with a zero?
605
00:51:55,905 --> 00:51:58,867
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Back off, Jack!
606
00:51:58,950 --> 00:52:01,077
The lucky lady's with me, all right?
607
00:52:01,161 --> 00:52:03,079
And don't be copping
my dance moves.
608
00:52:03,163 --> 00:52:05,415
I'll dance with you both. I don't care.
609
00:52:05,498 --> 00:52:08,668
No, no, no. You don't understand.
He can't dance.
610
00:52:09,669 --> 00:52:12,255
All right. I know he can't do this.
611
00:52:29,481 --> 00:52:31,399
Yeah, go!
612
00:52:54,881 --> 00:52:55,715
Come on, man.
613
00:52:59,469 --> 00:53:01,680
Hot damn! Hot damn!
614
00:53:22,742 --> 00:53:24,369
All right! Hey!
615
00:54:10,290 --> 00:54:11,416
Damn!
616
00:54:23,094 --> 00:54:27,098
- I'm going home with him.
- I'm going home with him.
617
00:54:28,558 --> 00:54:30,310
I'm going home with him.
618
00:54:32,937 --> 00:54:33,938
Bitch.
619
00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:38,109
You know, I don't even know
what planet you're from.
620
00:54:38,193 --> 00:54:39,194
Jhazalla.
621
00:54:40,528 --> 00:54:42,322
We've only been as far as the Moon.
622
00:54:46,659 --> 00:54:48,703
You know, at first,
623
00:54:48,787 --> 00:54:53,166
I thought you kind of looked
like a giant Bigfoot or something,
624
00:54:53,249 --> 00:54:58,129
but now, I mean, if I didn't know
that you were an alien,
625
00:54:58,213 --> 00:55:01,049
I would just think that you were
a really cute guy...
626
00:55:02,509 --> 00:55:04,761
who, I'm sure, has a girlfriend.
627
00:55:04,844 --> 00:55:07,514
No Mr. Right girlfriend.
628
00:55:21,820 --> 00:55:23,112
My God, that's Wiploc.
629
00:55:26,950 --> 00:55:29,661
All right! All right!
630
00:55:43,842 --> 00:55:45,969
Give me your autograph
on my forehead.
631
00:55:46,052 --> 00:55:47,303
Sign these.
632
00:55:50,974 --> 00:55:53,852
I can't believe you're frenching
an alien in front of all these people.
633
00:55:58,356 --> 00:56:02,610
We go, okay? Come on. Wiploc.
634
00:56:02,694 --> 00:56:05,655
No, I want to be zero.
I want to be zero.
635
00:56:08,116 --> 00:56:09,367
No, no, no.
636
00:56:14,205 --> 00:56:16,374
Candy, I'll call ya.
637
00:56:17,417 --> 00:56:19,878
- What was it like?
- Oh, my God! You're so lucky!
638
00:56:19,961 --> 00:56:21,254
Did you get his number?
639
00:56:22,463 --> 00:56:24,465
I want his baby.
640
00:56:27,260 --> 00:56:30,597
Sweetheart? Sweetheart, I'm sorry.
641
00:56:31,598 --> 00:56:32,599
Val?
642
00:56:36,936 --> 00:56:38,605
Honey?
643
00:56:38,688 --> 00:56:39,856
Hey, Val?
644
00:56:45,612 --> 00:56:47,822
What? Oh, wait a second.
645
00:56:47,906 --> 00:56:50,450
They said the Commodore
would stand up to anything.
646
00:56:53,286 --> 00:56:55,121
Beemer? Beemer?
647
00:56:57,123 --> 00:56:58,124
Beemer.
648
00:57:00,251 --> 00:57:01,961
Aston, where's Martin?
649
00:57:02,045 --> 00:57:04,047
Where's Martin? Where's Val?
All right, don't panic.
650
00:57:04,130 --> 00:57:07,550
She probably wasn't here
when it happened.
651
00:57:07,634 --> 00:57:10,011
Operator, give me the police.
It's an emergency.
652
00:57:23,566 --> 00:57:26,945
Police? This is Dr. Gallagher.
653
00:57:27,028 --> 00:57:29,656
I'd like to report a break-in
654
00:57:29,739 --> 00:57:32,200
and... and a possible kidnapping.
655
00:57:33,201 --> 00:57:34,994
Oh, God. Ted's here.
656
00:57:35,078 --> 00:57:37,830
You guys, act human, okay?
657
00:57:37,914 --> 00:57:39,374
Just act human.
658
00:57:40,708 --> 00:57:42,627
Sweetheart, you're all right.
659
00:57:43,628 --> 00:57:45,964
I was so worried about you.
660
00:57:46,047 --> 00:57:48,591
When I came home,
the house was totally wrecked.
661
00:57:51,761 --> 00:57:55,306
- Who are they?
- Who? Those guys?
662
00:57:55,390 --> 00:57:57,350
- Yeah.
- A band.
663
00:57:57,433 --> 00:58:00,353
Boy, I'm totally clear.
664
00:58:00,436 --> 00:58:03,815
- What's up, Doc?
- You mean like a rock 'n' roll band?
665
00:58:03,898 --> 00:58:06,192
What are you doing with a band, Val?
666
00:58:06,275 --> 00:58:08,403
I won them on MTV.
667
00:58:08,486 --> 00:58:11,447
I won an MTV weekend with a band.
668
00:58:11,531 --> 00:58:14,492
Hi. I am Mac.
669
00:58:14,575 --> 00:58:16,285
How is it hanging, Mr. Dude?
670
00:58:16,369 --> 00:58:18,162
- Dr. Dude.
- Dr. Dude.
671
00:58:19,872 --> 00:58:21,457
No, Val. Wait a minute.
672
00:58:21,541 --> 00:58:23,960
Listen, I came home to talk to you alone.
673
00:58:24,043 --> 00:58:25,795
I'm sorry, fellas. This is private.
674
00:58:25,878 --> 00:58:27,672
I'm sure you won't mind
when I ask you to leave.
675
00:58:27,755 --> 00:58:31,426
Leave? No, no, they can't leave.
They're spending the weekend.
676
00:58:31,509 --> 00:58:33,594
No, no, Val.
They can't spend the weekend.
677
00:58:33,678 --> 00:58:35,388
This is my house.
I say they're out of here.
678
00:58:35,471 --> 00:58:38,850
Your house? Wait, wait.
I think I threw you out, Dr. Love.
679
00:58:38,933 --> 00:58:40,852
Yeah? Well, now I'm gonna throw them out.
680
00:58:40,935 --> 00:58:42,729
- So what do you think of that?
- No, you're not.
681
00:58:42,812 --> 00:58:44,897
- Yes, I am. They're out of...
- No.
682
00:58:44,981 --> 00:58:47,066
- I won them. I get to...
- What?
683
00:58:47,150 --> 00:58:52,363
- You're tearing me apart!
- Val, these guys are too weird.
684
00:58:52,447 --> 00:58:54,157
You have no business being
with people like that.
685
00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:56,451
Listen, I never won a band before and I
get them for the whole weekend,
686
00:58:56,534 --> 00:58:57,535
so they're staying.
687
00:58:57,618 --> 00:58:59,412
I want you to be happy.
That's fine, but...
688
00:58:59,495 --> 00:59:00,663
- Dr. Dude?
- What is it now?
689
00:59:03,166 --> 00:59:05,918
- For you is good.
- You animal!
690
00:59:06,919 --> 00:59:09,839
I oughta give you a tracheotomy.
Do you know who that was?
691
00:59:09,922 --> 00:59:11,257
- That was Mercedes.
- No, Ted, don't!
692
00:59:11,340 --> 00:59:14,010
My most expensive fish!
Do you know how much Mercedes cost me?
693
00:59:14,093 --> 00:59:16,179
- He cost me 300 bucks!
- Hey, what's going on here?
694
00:59:16,262 --> 00:59:18,056
All right, all right. Break it up.
695
00:59:18,139 --> 00:59:20,975
- Hey, hey! Come on!
- Break it up.
696
00:59:21,059 --> 00:59:24,687
- What are you doing?
- Who's Dr. Gallagher?
697
00:59:24,771 --> 00:59:28,316
- I'm Dr. Gallagher.
- Uh-huh. I'm Officer Demonte.
698
00:59:28,399 --> 00:59:30,193
This is Officer Murphy.
699
00:59:30,276 --> 00:59:32,695
You reported a break-in
and possible kidnapping?
700
00:59:32,779 --> 00:59:37,241
Yes, I did, officer, but, thank God,
she's here now and she's fine.
701
00:59:37,325 --> 00:59:40,787
However, these degenerates
broke into my home
702
00:59:40,870 --> 00:59:43,956
and destroyed my property
and I want them arrested right now.
703
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:45,792
- They're MTV scum!
- All right.
704
00:59:45,875 --> 00:59:48,503
Ma'am, you mind telling us
what's really going on here?
705
00:59:48,586 --> 00:59:50,088
Officer, sir,
706
00:59:50,171 --> 00:59:53,925
this man does not live here anymore,
and he's strangling my guests.
707
00:59:54,008 --> 00:59:57,678
- He was eating my Blue-Gilled Dorky.
- Hey, watch your mouth!
708
00:59:57,762 --> 01:00:00,807
10-13. We got a false report.
709
01:00:01,849 --> 01:00:04,477
Just a domestic dispute.
710
01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:07,772
His girlfriend dumped him
for a rock band.
711
01:00:07,855 --> 01:00:10,274
- That's bullshit!
- Hey, buddy.
712
01:00:10,358 --> 01:00:12,777
Maybe you need to go someplace
and cool off, huh?
713
01:00:12,860 --> 01:00:14,195
Let go of me! I'm a doctor!
714
01:00:14,278 --> 01:00:16,906
Good, if we have to bust your arm,
you can put on your own cast.
715
01:00:16,989 --> 01:00:20,159
You're right, Val.
There is a lot I don't know about you,
716
01:00:20,243 --> 01:00:23,329
but if you thought I was gonna spend
the rest of my life with you
717
01:00:23,412 --> 01:00:27,625
and your weird friends and that psychotic
cat of yours, you're crazy!
718
01:00:27,708 --> 01:00:30,503
- The wedding's off, Val!
- Come on, buddy.
719
01:00:35,633 --> 01:00:37,927
You wanna dance with a zero?
720
01:00:38,010 --> 01:00:39,971
I'm sorry.
721
01:00:40,054 --> 01:00:42,473
I think I have to go to my room now.
722
01:01:18,843 --> 01:01:20,219
Is Ted coming back?
723
01:01:24,724 --> 01:01:26,684
No. Ted doesn't wanna come back.
724
01:01:28,477 --> 01:01:32,773
I don't know what Ted wants,
but it's not me.
725
01:01:32,857 --> 01:01:34,192
What does Valerie want?
726
01:01:36,819 --> 01:01:39,447
I don't know. I just wanna be happy.
727
01:01:41,199 --> 01:01:42,992
Mac could make Valerie happy.
728
01:01:45,494 --> 01:01:49,165
Thanks, but I don't think anybody
could make me feel very good right now.
729
01:01:50,166 --> 01:01:53,794
Mac could make Valerie feel
very, very good.
730
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:58,424
Wait a minute.
Are you, like, coming on to me?
731
01:01:58,507 --> 01:02:01,177
Is this a pass? Because, I mean, if it is,
732
01:02:01,260 --> 01:02:04,180
sex is, like, totally out of the question.
733
01:02:04,263 --> 01:02:05,890
What is sex?
734
01:02:06,891 --> 01:02:09,727
Sex... you know, making love.
735
01:02:11,229 --> 01:02:14,607
A man and a woman like each other,
and they take their clothes off, and...
736
01:02:15,650 --> 01:02:18,861
- Okay.
- Well, no, no, no!
737
01:02:18,945 --> 01:02:22,782
We can't. No, because,
I mean, me and Ted are...
738
01:02:22,865 --> 01:02:25,117
well, I guess we're not, but, I mean...
739
01:02:25,201 --> 01:02:29,872
we can't because, I mean, you're an alien,
and I'm from the Valley.
740
01:02:29,956 --> 01:02:33,542
We may not even be, you know,
anatomically correct for each other.
741
01:02:33,626 --> 01:02:35,753
That could be a real problem.
742
01:02:39,215 --> 01:02:42,176
No problem.
But, I mean, no, no, no.
743
01:02:42,260 --> 01:02:44,262
I mean, it just wouldn't work.
744
01:02:44,345 --> 01:02:47,932
I mean, you're from out of town.
The phone bills would just be hell...
745
01:02:50,393 --> 01:02:53,312
Well, I just don't want you to think
746
01:02:53,396 --> 01:02:55,731
- Earth girls are easy.
- What is easy?
747
01:02:57,984 --> 01:02:59,110
This is easy.
748
01:05:18,666 --> 01:05:21,085
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
749
01:05:21,168 --> 01:05:24,004
- I told you not to have fun.
- I wasn't.
750
01:05:40,312 --> 01:05:41,355
Help!
751
01:05:56,579 --> 01:05:58,247
Ted!
752
01:06:00,583 --> 01:06:02,293
Help!
753
01:06:04,128 --> 01:06:07,631
Don't go anywhere. I've been paged.
754
01:06:07,715 --> 01:06:10,259
- Oh, sweetheart.
- Ted.
755
01:06:10,342 --> 01:06:12,219
- Ted, make it stop.
- Oh, hey.
756
01:06:12,303 --> 01:06:13,679
Ted.
757
01:06:15,723 --> 01:06:18,350
What happened to my fish?
758
01:06:21,729 --> 01:06:23,147
Ted!
759
01:06:31,030 --> 01:06:32,865
Beemer!
760
01:06:32,948 --> 01:06:35,075
Your face! What happened?
761
01:06:43,876 --> 01:06:45,794
Don't!
762
01:06:45,878 --> 01:06:49,340
Stop. Stop it, stop it!
763
01:07:29,338 --> 01:07:30,339
Hi.
764
01:07:31,715 --> 01:07:32,716
Hi.
765
01:07:38,055 --> 01:07:41,600
God, I had the weirdest dream last night.
766
01:07:41,684 --> 01:07:42,935
All I remember is...
767
01:07:52,236 --> 01:07:54,029
You have the strangest heartbeat.
768
01:07:55,197 --> 01:07:56,991
Sounds like you have two hearts.
769
01:07:57,074 --> 01:07:59,493
Yes. Don't you?
770
01:08:01,412 --> 01:08:03,747
No, I just have one.
771
01:08:05,374 --> 01:08:06,917
Tell me about Zimbabwe.
772
01:08:08,043 --> 01:08:11,880
- Jhazalla?
- Jhazalla. Is it like Earth?
773
01:08:12,881 --> 01:08:14,466
Yes. It's beautiful.
774
01:08:14,550 --> 01:08:16,468
Sounds neat.
775
01:08:16,552 --> 01:08:20,472
- Is driving a UFO a good job?
- Oh, yes.
776
01:08:20,556 --> 01:08:23,267
Do you own your own home or do you rent?
777
01:08:23,350 --> 01:08:25,060
No water. Come look.
778
01:09:33,295 --> 01:09:34,713
Hi, guys.
779
01:09:34,797 --> 01:09:36,590
Hope instant decaf is okay.
780
01:09:36,674 --> 01:09:40,552
Breakfast is on the way.
I'm making pancakes from scratch.
781
01:09:40,636 --> 01:09:43,097
Yeah. Valerie, uh...
782
01:09:43,180 --> 01:09:44,890
we can go home now.
783
01:09:47,810 --> 01:09:50,270
Gee, that's great.
784
01:09:54,983 --> 01:09:57,194
- I didn't think it would be so soon.
- Yeah.
785
01:09:59,488 --> 01:10:01,740
That's, that's really good.
786
01:10:03,659 --> 01:10:05,160
Yeah. Valerie...
787
01:10:08,706 --> 01:10:12,084
Well, I better go get that.
788
01:10:12,167 --> 01:10:13,377
Pool man!
789
01:10:15,379 --> 01:10:17,131
Hey, dudes, what's happening?
790
01:10:18,424 --> 01:10:20,384
- Woody.
- Woody.
791
01:10:21,719 --> 01:10:23,679
What is this?
792
01:10:23,762 --> 01:10:25,889
- A spaceship?
- Spaceship?
793
01:10:29,435 --> 01:10:31,145
- No way, Jose, Woody.
- No.
794
01:10:31,228 --> 01:10:33,522
- What is it, then?
- A car.
795
01:10:33,605 --> 01:10:36,316
Oh! That's why she wanted me to drain it.
796
01:10:36,400 --> 01:10:40,320
She drove her car into the pool.
I'm always doing that.
797
01:10:41,697 --> 01:10:43,907
Pretty rad car, though.
Where is it made?
798
01:10:44,908 --> 01:10:45,826
Finland.
799
01:10:45,909 --> 01:10:47,327
- Finland.
- Finland.
800
01:10:47,411 --> 01:10:49,246
Oh, I heard of that.
801
01:10:49,329 --> 01:10:53,250
Ted, bringing that girl here
was inexcusable,
802
01:10:53,333 --> 01:10:55,836
but now that I've slept on it,
803
01:10:55,919 --> 01:10:59,882
I could probably forgive you,
but what about calling off the wedding?
804
01:10:59,965 --> 01:11:02,217
Sweetheart, I didn't mean that.
805
01:11:02,301 --> 01:11:05,512
Marrying you is the most important thing
in the world right now.
806
01:11:05,596 --> 01:11:07,389
I need you to take care of me.
807
01:11:08,390 --> 01:11:12,519
And I promise, I won't so much as look
at another woman, so long as I live.
808
01:11:12,603 --> 01:11:16,815
Well, unless, of course,
I'm giving her a physical examination.
809
01:11:16,899 --> 01:11:18,442
Well, I hope not.
810
01:11:18,525 --> 01:11:22,154
A relationship is a lot like
a porcelain nail, Ted.
811
01:11:22,237 --> 01:11:24,782
You can break it and you
can glue it back together,
812
01:11:24,865 --> 01:11:26,867
but it's not gonna be as strong as it was
813
01:11:26,950 --> 01:11:30,162
unless the person is really committed
and not bringing home nurses.
814
01:11:30,245 --> 01:11:33,373
Whoa, you should've seen me today, man.
815
01:11:33,457 --> 01:11:36,293
Nothing but radical rips all the way in.
816
01:11:36,376 --> 01:11:37,628
You want some slushy?
817
01:11:39,171 --> 01:11:42,841
Yeah, I was barely off my board
and the wahines are all over me.
818
01:11:43,926 --> 01:11:45,260
Wahines!
819
01:11:45,344 --> 01:11:48,972
Wahines. You know, girls?
820
01:11:49,056 --> 01:11:51,850
- Girls?
- You know girls?
821
01:11:51,934 --> 01:11:54,061
Does the Woodburger know girls?
822
01:11:54,144 --> 01:11:56,313
Pinocchio got a wooden butt?
823
01:11:57,981 --> 01:12:01,151
I could fix you up with some bodacious
chicks just like that.
824
01:12:02,444 --> 01:12:04,530
- Don't believe me?
- Like that.
825
01:12:04,613 --> 01:12:08,450
Come on. Let's hit the beach.
Ride the wild bikinis!
826
01:12:09,993 --> 01:12:11,620
- We go get Candy?
- Yeah.
827
01:12:11,703 --> 01:12:14,581
Candy, gum, beer nuts,
anything you want.
828
01:12:14,665 --> 01:12:17,042
Twizzlers. I got some Milk Duds.
829
01:12:17,125 --> 01:12:19,628
You oughta lay off coffee, though, man.
It'll kill you in a day.
830
01:12:20,629 --> 01:12:24,299
I know where I'm gonna take you.
I'm gonna take you to Zuma Beach.
831
01:12:24,383 --> 01:12:28,178
I need surprises. I need romance.
832
01:12:28,262 --> 01:12:33,475
I mean, how long has it been since you
said I love you, I need you,
833
01:12:33,559 --> 01:12:35,477
I'm crazy about you?
834
01:12:37,938 --> 01:12:39,648
Well, Ted?
835
01:12:39,731 --> 01:12:41,567
Come on, get in the car, will you?
836
01:12:41,650 --> 01:12:44,820
Wiploc. Zeebo.
837
01:12:48,991 --> 01:12:51,535
Zeebo going to Zuma Beach!
838
01:12:52,911 --> 01:12:54,997
Zeebo! Wiploc!
839
01:12:56,206 --> 01:12:59,543
Hey, dudes.
I just remembered something.
840
01:12:59,626 --> 01:13:01,295
What was it? Oh, yeah.
841
01:13:01,378 --> 01:13:04,798
At the beach today, they're having
a blonde-of-the-month contest.
842
01:13:04,882 --> 01:13:05,883
Blonde?
843
01:13:05,966 --> 01:13:10,262
Yeah, you know, blonde beach bunnies.
California's finest.
844
01:13:24,776 --> 01:13:27,529
Because I'm blonde,
I don't have to think
845
01:13:27,613 --> 01:13:30,449
I talk like a baby
and I never pay for drinks
846
01:13:30,532 --> 01:13:33,035
Don't have to worry about getting a man
847
01:13:33,118 --> 01:13:35,787
If I keep this blonde
and I keep these tanned
848
01:13:35,871 --> 01:13:38,582
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah
849
01:13:38,665 --> 01:13:41,627
'Cause I'm a blonde,
yeah, yeah, yeah
850
01:13:41,710 --> 01:13:44,630
I see people working,
it just makes me giggle
851
01:13:44,713 --> 01:13:47,382
'Cause I don't have to work,
I just have to jiggle
852
01:13:47,466 --> 01:13:50,052
'Cause I'm blonde, B-L-O-N-D-E
853
01:13:50,135 --> 01:13:53,096
'Cause I'm a blonde,
don't you wish you were me?
854
01:13:53,180 --> 01:13:56,141
I never learned to read
and I never learned to cook
855
01:13:56,224 --> 01:13:59,019
Why should I bother
when I look like I look?
856
01:13:59,102 --> 01:14:01,813
I know lots of people
are smarter than me
857
01:14:01,897 --> 01:14:05,525
But I have this philosophy-..
So what?
858
01:14:07,319 --> 01:14:10,280
'Cause I'm a blonde,
yeah, yeah, yeah
859
01:14:10,364 --> 01:14:13,241
I see girls without dates
and I feel so sorry for them
860
01:14:13,325 --> 01:14:16,036
'Cause whenever I'm around
all the men ignore them
861
01:14:16,119 --> 01:14:18,622
'Cause I'm blonde, nyah, nyah, nyah
862
01:14:18,705 --> 01:14:21,792
'Cause I'm a blonde,
nyah, nyah, nyah
863
01:14:21,875 --> 01:14:24,670
They say to make it
you need talent and ambition
864
01:14:24,753 --> 01:14:27,339
Well, I got a TV show
and this was my audition
865
01:14:28,340 --> 01:14:30,592
Okay, what was it?
Okay, don't tell me.
866
01:14:30,676 --> 01:14:32,970
Oh, yeah, okay.
"Duck, Magnum, duck!"
867
01:14:33,053 --> 01:14:35,847
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah
868
01:14:35,931 --> 01:14:38,892
'Cause I'm a blonde,
yeah, yeah, yeah
869
01:14:38,976 --> 01:14:42,062
I took an IQ test,
and I flunked it, of course
870
01:14:42,145 --> 01:14:44,439
I can't spell "VW," but I got a Porsche
871
01:14:44,523 --> 01:14:47,025
'Cause I'm a blonde, B-L-O-N-D-E
872
01:14:47,109 --> 01:14:50,278
'Cause I'm a blonde,
don't you wish you were me?
873
01:14:50,362 --> 01:14:53,532
I just want to say that being chosen
as this month's Miss August
874
01:14:53,615 --> 01:14:56,284
is, like, a compliment
I'll remember for as long as I can.
875
01:14:56,368 --> 01:14:58,912
Right now, I'm a freshman
in my fourth year at UCLA.
876
01:14:58,996 --> 01:15:01,623
But my goal is to become
a veterinarian 'cause I love children.
877
01:15:01,707 --> 01:15:04,501
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah
878
01:15:04,584 --> 01:15:07,546
'Cause we're a blonde,
yeah, yeah, yeah
879
01:15:07,629 --> 01:15:10,298
Girls think I'm snotty and maybe it's true
880
01:15:10,382 --> 01:15:13,051
With my hair and body, you would be too
881
01:15:13,135 --> 01:15:15,971
'Cause I'm a blonde,
B-L... I don't know
882
01:15:16,054 --> 01:15:18,724
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah
883
01:15:18,807 --> 01:15:21,643
Yes, I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah
884
01:15:21,727 --> 01:15:23,937
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.
885
01:15:32,779 --> 01:15:34,448
Hey, dudes.
886
01:15:34,531 --> 01:15:36,533
Dudes, come on. Snap out of it.
887
01:15:36,616 --> 01:15:38,577
- We're making a pit stop.
- Pit stop?
888
01:15:50,213 --> 01:15:51,506
Hello, Opie.
889
01:15:54,468 --> 01:15:56,386
Bryan, come on over here!
890
01:15:56,470 --> 01:15:58,597
Will you get in this car right now?
891
01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:01,475
Mom, he's got my gun!
892
01:16:01,558 --> 01:16:04,269
How many times have I told you
not to tell fibs like that!
893
01:16:04,352 --> 01:16:06,730
Hey, leave home, kid!
894
01:16:07,814 --> 01:16:11,276
Hey, dudes! Listen.
Since I'm springing for the gas,
895
01:16:11,359 --> 01:16:14,362
why don't you go pick up some brews
and some sandwich stuff?
896
01:16:14,446 --> 01:16:17,157
Some brews and some sandwich stuff.
897
01:16:17,240 --> 01:16:20,202
Yeah, you know, like, bread and junk.
Okay, dudes?
898
01:16:20,285 --> 01:16:21,286
Okay, dude.
899
01:16:23,663 --> 01:16:25,082
Bread and junk.
900
01:16:30,087 --> 01:16:32,839
- Give us bread.
- We need junk.
901
01:16:32,923 --> 01:16:36,426
Don't shoot. Don't shoot,
I just work here. I'm an American.
902
01:16:38,345 --> 01:16:41,014
There. Take it. Take it all.
903
01:16:42,474 --> 01:16:45,519
- Where is Candy?
- Candy? Oh!
904
01:16:46,686 --> 01:16:48,563
Right here. Take as much as you want.
905
01:16:52,776 --> 01:16:55,195
- Thank you.
- Thank you too much.
906
01:17:07,165 --> 01:17:09,960
Hey, troops! Had to drain the lizard!
907
01:17:10,043 --> 01:17:11,169
Be right with you.
908
01:17:16,299 --> 01:17:17,759
Hey, what do I owe you, dude?
909
01:17:17,843 --> 01:17:19,177
- Get down!
- What?
910
01:17:19,261 --> 01:17:20,595
Get down!
911
01:17:22,806 --> 01:17:25,934
I was just held up.
They're still out there. They got guns!
912
01:17:26,017 --> 01:17:29,437
Guns? My buddies are out there.
913
01:17:45,662 --> 01:17:48,165
- Where are they, man?
- In that green pile of junk.
914
01:17:53,128 --> 01:17:56,214
Excuse me. Could you back up?
915
01:17:56,298 --> 01:17:58,425
I need to get some unleaded.
916
01:18:02,012 --> 01:18:04,431
- Back up. Back up.
- Back up. Back up.
917
01:18:17,736 --> 01:18:20,197
- That's my wagon!
- Back up.
918
01:18:42,427 --> 01:18:45,222
We are party Martians!
We are MTV scum!
919
01:19:10,538 --> 01:19:13,291
Hey! That looks great!
920
01:19:18,922 --> 01:19:22,133
Hey, guys! Brunch is ready.
Come and get it.
921
01:19:24,761 --> 01:19:27,555
Hey, Valerie. It's Woody.
What's shaking?
922
01:19:27,639 --> 01:19:30,100
- Hi, Woody.
- Listen, you know your friends...
923
01:19:30,183 --> 01:19:31,601
those Finland guys?
924
01:19:31,685 --> 01:19:35,897
- I was taking them to the beach...
- What? They're gone? They're with you?
925
01:19:35,981 --> 01:19:40,735
No. They were. I guess they kind of robbed
the mini mart when I wasn't lookin',
926
01:19:40,819 --> 01:19:44,030
and then they totaled the gas station
and then they ripped off my van!
927
01:19:44,114 --> 01:19:47,200
- It was a trip.
- I don't believe this! Where are you?
928
01:19:47,284 --> 01:19:49,744
I'm at the mini mart down the street.
929
01:19:49,828 --> 01:19:51,871
- Toys 'R' Us.
- That's it?
930
01:19:51,955 --> 01:19:52,914
Yeah.
931
01:19:52,998 --> 01:19:55,625
- Have you seen Zeebo and Wiploc?
- I got water in this one, man.
932
01:19:55,709 --> 01:19:56,793
I can't hear ya.
933
01:19:56,876 --> 01:19:58,795
I think that might be one of them now.
934
01:19:58,878 --> 01:20:01,298
- Are you sure?
- Not really.
935
01:20:01,381 --> 01:20:03,091
Good enough for me.
936
01:20:04,092 --> 01:20:05,176
So look...
937
01:20:07,137 --> 01:20:09,306
What's going on? Woody!
938
01:20:09,389 --> 01:20:11,099
What's happening?
939
01:20:11,182 --> 01:20:13,768
I gotta go now, Valerie.
I'm gettin' my butt kicked.
940
01:20:13,852 --> 01:20:14,894
Woody!
941
01:20:35,623 --> 01:20:36,708
Hey!
942
01:21:00,482 --> 01:21:01,524
Wiploc!
943
01:21:53,743 --> 01:21:55,328
You have the right to remain silent.
944
01:21:55,412 --> 01:21:58,331
Anything you say can and will be used
against you in a court of law.
945
01:21:58,415 --> 01:21:59,499
Hey.
946
01:22:00,667 --> 01:22:04,379
Jail isn't so bad.
It's where I learned how to surf.
947
01:22:05,839 --> 01:22:08,383
He's dead meat. You hang 10 now.
948
01:22:08,466 --> 01:22:10,385
Come on, you guys.
You've gotta believe me.
949
01:22:10,468 --> 01:22:12,637
- This is all a misunderstanding.
- Sorry, lady.
950
01:22:12,720 --> 01:22:15,432
- Well, arrest me, too, then.
- Yeah, arrest her.
951
01:22:15,515 --> 01:22:17,434
- She's a nice lady.
- Stay out of this, flipper.
952
01:22:17,517 --> 01:22:19,894
We can't. You didn't do anything.
953
01:22:23,481 --> 01:22:26,359
- Hey, lady! Don't do that!
- Yeah, go for it!
954
01:22:28,653 --> 01:22:32,115
This Paramedic unit 104.
We picked up two victims at Donut Land.
955
01:22:32,198 --> 01:22:34,993
They fit the description of the suspects
in the mini mart robbery.
956
01:22:35,076 --> 01:22:37,203
We're taking them
to Our Lady of the Valley Hospital.
957
01:22:37,287 --> 01:22:38,288
10-13. Copy.
958
01:22:39,330 --> 01:22:40,957
That's Ted's hospital.
959
01:22:41,040 --> 01:22:43,334
We have to get there before
anybody finds out who they are.
960
01:22:45,086 --> 01:22:47,589
Joe, take us to hospital, please.
961
01:22:47,672 --> 01:22:50,133
Hey, clown, you're going to the slammer.
962
01:22:51,801 --> 01:22:53,344
We go to slammer first.
963
01:22:54,721 --> 01:22:58,475
Listen, give them that love touch
and then they'll come on to me.
964
01:22:58,558 --> 01:23:00,018
They'll be putty in my hands.
965
01:23:01,478 --> 01:23:03,438
You want sex with Joe and Mike?
966
01:23:03,521 --> 01:23:08,485
No, no. Just so we can get away.
Do it, do it. You'll see.
967
01:23:16,534 --> 01:23:18,119
Hey!
968
01:23:18,203 --> 01:23:19,871
How about those Lakers, huh?
969
01:23:22,790 --> 01:23:25,668
What about those incredible eyes of yours?
970
01:23:27,295 --> 01:23:29,130
What?
971
01:23:29,214 --> 01:23:32,717
They're just this far
from Liz Taylor violet.
972
01:23:42,352 --> 01:23:44,354
Oh, Michael!
973
01:23:47,398 --> 01:23:48,900
Joseph.
974
01:23:50,151 --> 01:23:53,988
Two new patients in emergency...
Dr. Love.
975
01:24:12,632 --> 01:24:15,718
Well, bye, you guys.
Thanks for the lift.
976
01:24:15,802 --> 01:24:18,179
- I hope things work out.
- Bye.
977
01:24:18,263 --> 01:24:20,348
- Happy house hunting.
- Ciao.
978
01:24:20,431 --> 01:24:21,933
Thank you very much.
979
01:24:22,016 --> 01:24:24,394
- They're such a nice couple.
- I know.
980
01:24:24,477 --> 01:24:26,229
- They really are.
- Let's go shake somebody down.
981
01:24:26,312 --> 01:24:27,272
Bye.
982
01:24:28,523 --> 01:24:31,359
Totally cool tube.
983
01:24:31,442 --> 01:24:34,487
Ridin' cool rips all the way in.
984
01:24:36,197 --> 01:24:38,741
Great, you two.
985
01:24:38,825 --> 01:24:40,577
- Hi, Dr. Dude.
- All right, boys.
986
01:24:40,660 --> 01:24:43,204
- The party's over. Settle down.
- Take us to Valerie's house, please.
987
01:24:43,288 --> 01:24:44,998
We'd like to go to Valerie's house.
988
01:24:45,081 --> 01:24:47,917
You're not setting foot in my house again.
Just lie down.
989
01:24:50,295 --> 01:24:53,381
Excuse me. We're looking for two patients
who were just admitted.
990
01:24:54,382 --> 01:24:56,301
That's kind of a nasty bump.
991
01:24:56,384 --> 01:24:57,594
Does this hurt when I do this?
992
01:24:58,886 --> 01:25:00,638
Good.
993
01:25:00,722 --> 01:25:02,265
Let's just have a listen here, shall we?
994
01:25:03,266 --> 01:25:05,560
- Surf's up. Surf's up.
- Leave it alone.
995
01:25:08,062 --> 01:25:09,480
Breathe.
996
01:25:11,107 --> 01:25:12,066
Again.
997
01:25:14,569 --> 01:25:16,571
Wait a second. Breathe.
998
01:25:17,697 --> 01:25:19,616
Breathe, breathe.
999
01:25:22,160 --> 01:25:23,161
It's incredible.
1000
01:25:24,454 --> 01:25:25,455
It's amazing.
1001
01:25:26,831 --> 01:25:29,709
You each have two heartbeats.
1002
01:25:29,792 --> 01:25:32,211
Wiploc and Zeebo?
1003
01:25:32,295 --> 01:25:34,005
What are their last names?
1004
01:25:34,088 --> 01:25:35,923
They don't have last names.
1005
01:25:36,007 --> 01:25:38,259
They're performers, you know, like Cher.
1006
01:25:41,012 --> 01:25:44,641
Yes. They're in the emergency room
being examined by Dr. Gallagher.
1007
01:25:46,017 --> 01:25:47,310
He'll dissect them.
1008
01:25:49,520 --> 01:25:52,482
You can't go in there.
Medical personnel only.
1009
01:25:53,566 --> 01:25:55,068
We've got to get in there.
1010
01:25:57,278 --> 01:25:58,613
I have an idea,
1011
01:25:58,696 --> 01:26:01,658
but it means doing something
terrible to an innocent person.
1012
01:26:02,992 --> 01:26:04,327
Let's do it.
1013
01:26:08,790 --> 01:26:10,458
- Which floor?
- Two, please.
1014
01:26:12,043 --> 01:26:14,128
I think I'm gonna enjoy this.
1015
01:26:18,675 --> 01:26:20,385
Feel this? It's a gun.
1016
01:26:20,468 --> 01:26:22,303
- What are you doing? What?
- Shut up and start walking.
1017
01:26:22,387 --> 01:26:25,807
Come on. Come in here.
1018
01:26:27,850 --> 01:26:31,229
- Help. She's got a gun.
- Take off your uniform.
1019
01:26:31,312 --> 01:26:33,106
- What?
- Take it off! Quick!
1020
01:26:34,857 --> 01:26:38,152
- I know you. You're Ted's girlfriend.
- Strip.
1021
01:26:38,236 --> 01:26:41,989
Look. I don't want any part of you or Ted
or your kinky sex trips.
1022
01:26:42,073 --> 01:26:45,034
- I said strip!
- She said strip.
1023
01:26:49,414 --> 01:26:51,791
The call button. Push the call button.
1024
01:26:53,334 --> 01:26:54,794
You'll go to prison for this.
1025
01:26:54,877 --> 01:26:58,798
- Excuse me.
- For molesting me, for having a gun...
1026
01:26:58,881 --> 01:27:00,800
Well, I don't have a real gun.
1027
01:27:09,517 --> 01:27:12,395
- Your heart...
- Excuse me, Doctor.
1028
01:27:12,478 --> 01:27:14,355
This doctor's here
to pick up these patients.
1029
01:27:14,439 --> 01:27:16,357
Oh, no, no, no, no.
These guys aren't going anywhere.
1030
01:27:16,441 --> 01:27:19,444
I'm admitting them both
for observation under my care.
1031
01:27:19,527 --> 01:27:21,279
They seem okay to me, Doctor.
1032
01:27:21,362 --> 01:27:22,822
Nurse, why don't you listen
to their hearts
1033
01:27:22,905 --> 01:27:24,741
and tell me what you hear?
1034
01:27:25,867 --> 01:27:28,536
Cover of Time Magazine
1035
01:27:28,619 --> 01:27:30,621
Man of the year
1036
01:27:30,705 --> 01:27:33,708
Yes, I'll be rich and famous,
money, money, money, money.
1037
01:27:33,791 --> 01:27:35,001
I'll be on The Today Show.
1038
01:27:35,084 --> 01:27:36,836
- Shh, Zeebo, it's me.
- Invitation to the White House.
1039
01:27:36,919 --> 01:27:39,005
He sounds perfectly normal to me, Doctor.
1040
01:27:39,088 --> 01:27:40,590
Oh, no, no. That's impossible.
1041
01:27:40,673 --> 01:27:43,760
They each have two distinct heartbeats.
1042
01:27:43,843 --> 01:27:45,303
Try me, Doctor.
1043
01:27:45,386 --> 01:27:46,888
Yes. Yes, I could try you.
1044
01:27:54,687 --> 01:27:57,064
Oh, my God! You, too.
1045
01:28:05,573 --> 01:28:07,033
It's my beeper!
1046
01:28:07,116 --> 01:28:09,452
No, no, no. My beeper's
never done this before.
1047
01:28:10,787 --> 01:28:13,790
- Could you get the phone, Doctor?
- What phone, doctor?
1048
01:28:16,083 --> 01:28:17,585
Hello?
1049
01:28:17,668 --> 01:28:19,962
Doctor, I'm afraid
you must be hearing things.
1050
01:28:27,178 --> 01:28:29,096
Is there something wrong, Doctor?
1051
01:28:29,180 --> 01:28:31,641
Hello, Doctor.
Should I call you a doctor, Doctor?
1052
01:28:31,724 --> 01:28:33,851
No! Please, just make it stop!
1053
01:28:35,102 --> 01:28:36,771
I can't stand it.
1054
01:28:48,699 --> 01:28:52,620
You guys, you came this close
to being a science project.
1055
01:28:52,703 --> 01:28:53,704
Come on.
1056
01:28:54,831 --> 01:28:56,499
Ted's car! Follow me.
1057
01:29:00,461 --> 01:29:01,921
Quick! Get in quick!
1058
01:29:03,172 --> 01:29:04,423
Oh, God! Here comes Ted!
1059
01:29:04,507 --> 01:29:05,967
Hide! Get down and hide.
1060
01:29:10,388 --> 01:29:13,975
Valerie? Sweetheart,
I'm so glad to see you.
1061
01:29:14,058 --> 01:29:17,186
Can we go home?
These last two days have been hell.
1062
01:29:17,270 --> 01:29:18,729
It's affecting my work.
1063
01:29:18,813 --> 01:29:21,649
Sweetheart, I actually think
I've been hearing things.
1064
01:29:21,732 --> 01:29:23,943
- No.
- Val, could you drive?
1065
01:29:24,026 --> 01:29:27,113
- Please, Valerie.
- Okay, Ted. Here.
1066
01:29:27,196 --> 01:29:29,866
- Get in, honey.
- I'm so exhausted.
1067
01:29:31,659 --> 01:29:33,870
You know, I thought
a lot about what you said
1068
01:29:33,953 --> 01:29:35,913
and I've decided
to do something impulsive.
1069
01:29:35,997 --> 01:29:38,040
Let's go to Vegas tonight and get married.
1070
01:29:38,124 --> 01:29:40,001
Tonight?
1071
01:29:40,084 --> 01:29:42,962
Well, wait a minute. What about
the church and my dress and everything?
1072
01:29:43,045 --> 01:29:46,257
We can do the big church wedding later.
Just like you planned.
1073
01:29:47,300 --> 01:29:50,177
Well, what do you say?
1074
01:29:50,261 --> 01:29:53,097
Well, I don't know. I'm just so surprised.
1075
01:29:53,180 --> 01:29:55,641
Come on. You wanted surprises.
1076
01:29:56,809 --> 01:29:57,810
Ted.
1077
01:30:21,125 --> 01:30:24,003
You gotta bring
that one-piece night thing,
1078
01:30:24,086 --> 01:30:26,839
that corset that looks like underwear.
1079
01:30:36,599 --> 01:30:38,684
What is it now? Something old...
1080
01:30:41,020 --> 01:30:42,980
These pantyhose are old.
1081
01:30:43,064 --> 01:30:45,107
Something new.
1082
01:30:45,191 --> 01:30:46,525
This veil is new.
1083
01:30:48,778 --> 01:30:50,196
Dr. Tushman, please.
1084
01:30:52,365 --> 01:30:54,116
Barbara, Ted here.
1085
01:30:54,200 --> 01:30:56,911
Listen, I need a really big favor.
1086
01:30:56,994 --> 01:31:00,414
I want you to cover my shift
at the hospital tomorrow.
1087
01:31:00,498 --> 01:31:01,791
I'm going to Vegas.
1088
01:31:04,126 --> 01:31:09,131
Well, I'm gonna lose a little money,
take in a show, and get married.
1089
01:31:10,675 --> 01:31:12,718
Barbara. Barbara.
1090
01:31:14,303 --> 01:31:18,808
Look, just because I'm getting married
doesn't mean we can't date, all right?
1091
01:31:18,891 --> 01:31:19,892
What?
1092
01:31:32,738 --> 01:31:33,781
Valerie.
1093
01:31:35,491 --> 01:31:37,284
- Good-bye.
- Bye.
1094
01:31:37,368 --> 01:31:40,579
Nice planet you have here.
Give Tonya my number.
1095
01:31:42,415 --> 01:31:43,833
Take care, Zeebo.
1096
01:31:45,710 --> 01:31:48,879
Wiploc. I think I'll miss you
least of all.
1097
01:31:48,963 --> 01:31:50,673
You got lip lock for Wiploc?
1098
01:31:53,592 --> 01:31:54,719
Valerie...
1099
01:31:56,637 --> 01:31:58,681
I don't know the words.
1100
01:31:58,764 --> 01:32:00,599
Mac.
1101
01:32:00,683 --> 01:32:02,309
I'm gonna miss you so much.
1102
01:32:03,310 --> 01:32:04,645
I'll miss you, too.
1103
01:32:04,729 --> 01:32:07,857
Sweetheart, I booked
the Caveman Suite at Cupid's Lodge.
1104
01:32:13,195 --> 01:32:15,156
What the hell is this?!
1105
01:32:16,449 --> 01:32:18,617
Okay, Ted, they're not a band.
1106
01:32:18,701 --> 01:32:21,287
- They're from another planet.
- What?
1107
01:32:21,370 --> 01:32:23,664
Go back in the house.
I'll be in in a second.
1108
01:32:23,748 --> 01:32:26,292
Oh, my God! They're aliens.
1109
01:32:26,375 --> 01:32:28,377
Aliens! All right, Val.
I got you covered.
1110
01:32:28,461 --> 01:32:31,255
- It's okay. Ted. Ted.
- Back!
1111
01:32:31,338 --> 01:32:32,339
It's okay.
1112
01:32:33,716 --> 01:32:34,759
You're contaminated.
1113
01:32:36,844 --> 01:32:38,929
- I... I have to go now.
- Ted!
1114
01:32:39,013 --> 01:32:40,723
- I'll call the police.
- Ted, come on.
1115
01:32:40,806 --> 01:32:42,475
- I gotta go.
- Stop it.
1116
01:32:51,233 --> 01:32:52,443
Good-bye, Valerie.
1117
01:33:11,045 --> 01:33:14,715
Mac! It didn't work!
1118
01:33:15,758 --> 01:33:19,303
Mac! I have to tell you something.
1119
01:33:19,386 --> 01:33:22,223
I love you! Take me with you!
1120
01:33:22,306 --> 01:33:25,226
- To Jhazalla?
- Anyplace!
1121
01:33:26,310 --> 01:33:27,645
I am Mr. Right?
1122
01:33:27,728 --> 01:33:30,022
Yes! Yes!
1123
01:33:36,070 --> 01:33:38,239
Well... good-bye, Ted.
1124
01:33:39,406 --> 01:33:44,036
I guess it wasn't meant to be,
but I really want to thank you for...
1125
01:33:45,621 --> 01:33:46,872
thanks for the...
1126
01:33:48,666 --> 01:33:50,126
Good-bye, Ted.
1127
01:33:56,382 --> 01:33:57,383
Mac!
1128
01:34:12,189 --> 01:34:13,023
Mac!
1129
01:34:15,484 --> 01:34:18,821
Wait, you guys!
You can't leave without margaritas!
1130
01:34:26,996 --> 01:34:28,998
Valerie, what are you doing?
1131
01:34:31,292 --> 01:34:32,835
Good-bye, Candy. I'll miss you.
1132
01:34:33,836 --> 01:34:37,089
Well, good luck, Val. Call me.
1133
01:34:43,429 --> 01:34:44,889
Happy trails.
1134
01:34:48,017 --> 01:34:50,352
Bambi, I never knew.
1135
01:34:50,436 --> 01:34:51,937
Wait!
1136
01:34:58,402 --> 01:34:59,403
Hey!
1137
01:35:01,363 --> 01:35:03,365
Give my love to Finland!
80450
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